November 14, 2023 • 25 mins
I, Lucie Beatrix, invite you to join me on an adventure that started with a spontaneous decision to leave the winter chill of New York City behind and start a fresh life in sunny Austin, Texas. This change wasn't just a shift in location, but a complete transformation of my life, my approach to physical fitness, and my perception of myself. From working behind the scenes at a photo shoot, to training with a competitive team, and eventually falling in love, this journey has been full of surprises.
In this transformative phase of my life, I not only learnt how to be a girlfriend but also how to let go of the many identities I had accumulated over the years in the bustling city of New York. As I navigated the world of competitive running, my focus gradually shifted from qualifying for the 2024 US Olympic Marathon Trials to prioritizing my well-being over my physical appearance. I'll share how this new perspective led to breakthroughs in races and changed my relationship with food, sobriety, and my body. Reflect with me on the importance of flexibility, trust, and not setting too many expectations in life as we approach a new year filled with endless possibilities.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
I have so much exciting stuff to share with you
guys, so let's get into my show.
This is the Lucy Beatrixpodcast.
It's been a minute since I'veput up an episode and if you
didn't know anything about me,in a nutshell, I was a fashion
model who worked for over adecade appearing on the covers
of several magazines.
I worked for all the big brandsover the years and I stumbled
(00:29):
into the sport of competitiverunning.
I got into marathoning.
I ran a 244 marathon last yearat the Chicago Marathon and
honestly, if you ask me who areyou, I would say I'm just a girl
living my life.
I've done a lot of things.
I wear a lot of hats, but todaywe're just going to be talking
about what's been going on in myworld and what I've been up to.
(00:51):
So typically on my show if yougo back and look at other
episodes I've done I've talkedabout a lot of things.
I've talked about the grief oflosing my father suddenly six
years ago, as he died sort ofsuddenly, and how I got over
that.
I've talked about getting soberand how making that lifestyle
(01:13):
changed my life, or justdeciding to clean up my act and
not drink alcohol anymore Reallychanged my life and actually
turned me into the runner that Iam today, or somebody who has
run rather competitive times indistances like the 5K, 10k, half
marathon and beyond.
I've done some crazy thingslike run 76 miles in a single
(01:37):
day on a track.
I participated in the speedproject running from LA to Vegas
.
I've done all kinds of crazystuff.
If you know me, you know that.
If you don't know me, welcome.
That's kind of me.
But yeah, so you know what'sreally crazy.
It was about a year ago that Iwas sitting on a set at a photo
studio where I was workingbehind the scenes, so I wasn't
(01:59):
in front of the camera, I wasworking on the other side of the
camera, working at this shoot,and I was in New York City and I
looked around and New York wasjust starting to get pretty cold
and turning into winter.
It was dark and I said you knowwhat?
I'm not going to do this.
I don't want to be in New Yorkthis winter.
I need to get out of the cityand make a radical, spontaneous,
(02:21):
wild change.
So what did I do?
I packed my entire apartment upin Brooklyn and I literally
just went to Austin, texas,which is a really random place
for me to have chosen to go.
It was a place that I had onlybeen to once before for a race
in 2021.
And last year, I literally justtook a backpack, moved my life
(02:44):
to Austin, texas, and said I'mjust going to try this out and
see what the heck happens.
So what happened?
Originally, I went out to Austin, texas, to train with a very
competitive team with a bunch ofvery up and coming athletes all
going after that Olympic trialsqualifying time, which was
something that I was striving toobtain, and I went out there
(03:08):
with this intent to just focuson running, make that my main
thing.
But what happened was I?
Well, firstly, what happened iskind of funny, it's crazy.
So I got out to Texas and I wastraining with this team and
they're awesome, they're fast,they're just like so, so
competitive and I ended upmeeting a man and falling in
(03:32):
love and kind of took a littledetour.
I actually ended up, instead oforiginally going out there and
just training full time, I endedup finding someone and starting
a totally new chapter,something beyond my wildest
dreams, which was learning howto be a girlfriend, which, I
(03:52):
know that sounds really weird,but for someone like me who had
been living in New York City for16 years.
Up until that point, I learnedhow to be in a relationship with
someone and that was really,that was my new lesson, or that
was my new thing, that I waslike, wow, this is really really
wild and you frontier for meand at the same time, what
(04:13):
coincided with this was reallyjust having an awakening of
figuring out who the heck I am,underneath the magazine
portfolio of all the things thatI shot for over the years and
carrying these identities that Ihad kind of accumulated over
all the time that I had in NewYork.
Because in New York I am, I'mjust a multifaceted person with
(04:37):
all of these accomplishments,from when I was this Ford model
at the top of my game, crushingit with my fashion modeling
career, to then getting intorunning and just being like I'm
a runner and a model and I writeand I shoot and I work on all
these different projects all thetime.
And out there, I was just agirl.
(04:59):
I was just a random girlwalking around the streets of
Austin.
Nobody knew anything about me.
Really, I was just kind ofanonymous again and it was kind
of fun to just see what is whatis my personality when I don't
have all of these other thingsattached to me?
Because in New York I walk downthe street and any given day I
(05:21):
run into people and I I seepeople from my past or all the
different phases I've beenthrough, whether it was when I
was a yoga teacher.
It's like people from the yogastudio or people who know me on
the track is that crazy girlwho's always on the track or
people who know me from the Fordmodels day.
Like I have all these differentpersonalities of ways that
people knew me here in New York,but then when I got to Texas,
(05:43):
it was just like I could bestripped of all of that and just
be the the raw personunderneath and then have that
coincide with meeting somebodycompletely new who didn't know
this version of me or all theseversions of me in New York and
start a relationship.
So it's kind of it's kind ofcrazy that like that's what
happened when I went out to youare out to Austin a year ago.
(06:06):
Well, I was out in Austin and Iended up getting an apartment
there and spent a couple seasonsliving in Texas and all the
while I was coming back andforth to New York.
So I still had a photo studiojob here in New York working
behind the scenes, because myfashion modeling career kind of
(06:27):
led me to this other careerwhere I'd be working on shoots,
not as the model, but on theother side of things doing
various tasks, and so I wouldcome back to New York a lot
while I was living in Texas.
So I still kind of always hadone foot on the ground here in
New York because I would stillbe working and I was still
making most of my money workingin New York for these weeks that
(06:51):
I would come out and then I'dgo back to Texas and take a
break and then go back to NewYork, kind of going back and
forth a lot.
And then over the summer Irealized that my running was
really taking a turn.
So when I ran that 244 marathonlast fall in Chicago, it was a
really big deal.
That was something that said alot to my community of other
(07:15):
runners that I trained with, ofhey, this running thing is
serious and that was a time thata few years prior, would have
qualified me for the 2020 USOlympic trials for the marathon.
A 245 is what you needed toqualify for the Olympic trials I
ran a 244.02.
So it said to me that like Ireally have this talent and I
(07:36):
want to foster it.
But with running and athleticsyou can't always choose when and
how you're going to be the bestversion of yourself as a
competitive athlete.
And for me, when I got to Texasand life kind of slowed down
around me and I wasn't havingthis crazy adrenaline of living
and working in New York City, Itook running to a different
(07:59):
place entirely.
Instead of amping up mycompetitive side, of being like
I got to win every single raceand run all the distances and be
crazy, instead I just took amore holistic approach to
running of how can I run to feelthe best?
How can I run to feel like thebest version of myself every day
(08:20):
?
Run to have energy instead oftake away all my energy.
How can I feel healthy?
And that changed me.
That changed me, it changed mytraining, it changed my entire
approach and I ran for a totallydifferent reason and all of my
goals with like times and likecompetition kind of started to
(08:44):
fade into a different place.
And what happened is I thinkthat I actually got a very
healthy approach to running andI think that, like all of this
life or death running that I wasdoing here in New York City
changed and I just took atotally different approach and
there were some days where I waskind of like what the hell am I
doing?
Like I'm not doing these earlytrack practices, I'm not doing
(09:07):
all these competitive thingsthat I used to do.
Instead, I'm just running theway that I used to way before I
ever knew that I had any kind oftalent or any kind of
competitive side.
I just ran for me to clear myhead and feel good, and that's
just kind of what I went back to.
And in a weird way, I thinkthat it helped me see all the
(09:29):
other things in my life thatcould be like, could have more,
more in them, so like having arelationship and having like
that kind of like interpersonalconnection with somebody else,
and have other things that Icould focus on, like writing and
making music and all theseother passions that kind of fell
by the wayside when I got superinto running.
(09:51):
I could kind of I could fosterthose and so, in a weird way,
this last year of since I ranthat 244 in Chicago really
became a totally differentpurpose in my life of figuring
out what my actual purpose isand what do I find joy in and
what kind of experiences do Iwant to have.
(10:12):
And what did I end up doing?
I ended up traveling with myboyfriend and having amazing
dinners and going on littleadventures with him and writing
so much, so much, that I'mfeeling more and more closer and
closer towards my dream ofpublishing a book, and so, yeah,
it's been just like aninteresting incubating year, but
(10:34):
it's also been just a time forme to figure out how, what makes
me happy and what's going tocontinue to make me happy for
the rest of my life.
So a few months ago, myboyfriend and I went to Europe.
We went to Berlin to watch ourfriends compete in the Berlin
marathon.
It was a race that I wasoriginally going to run, but
then, just you know, I didn'tfeel like everything was in line
(10:57):
for me to even try to attemptto train and then compete in a
marathon, so I just went toBerlin to watch my friends run.
It was great.
Then we went to Copenhagen andthen, when we came back from
Europe to the States, I ended upjust coming back to New York,
and I've been in New York nowfor the past few months working
(11:18):
and focusing on my photo studio,life stuff and I just wanted to
close out this year having alot of amazing shoots under my
belt and reminding myself oflike that version of me, and
when I want to focus on a photoshoot in the photo studio,
working behind the scenes, thesepeople, they're like my family.
I love them.
(11:39):
They're so talented.
They've been in the industryfor decades.
They know me in a way thatthat's like they know that I'm a
runner and they know that Ilove running.
But that's not how they see meLike.
I'm not just like Lucy therunner or Lucy the model.
I'm somebody who they work with.
That they just see me in acertain way.
I add value to the day with,like the work that I do and I
feel like that's a really coolthing to have because I can take
(12:02):
a step away from, like, all theother identities that I've had.
So it's been really helpful forme to be working like that.
But but that said, you know, thebig question is okay.
So, like now, what?
Like?
I've had this amazing year oflearning all these different
things about myself and I I'mI'm just as curious as I was
(12:23):
last year, about like what mypotential is with running, but
it just isn't a totallydifferent way.
So I feel like, you know, therewas this dark cloud that came
over me.
It was a few months ago when Ikind of realized my window to
qualify for the 2024 US OlympicMarathon Trials which is
(12:43):
originally my goal for a whileLike I really wanted to be on
that starting line in Februaryat the US Olympic Trials and
prove that I like I deserve tobe here.
That goal is now kind of it'sfallen by the wayside, it's been
replaced with other things andI used to feel kind of sad about
it.
I was like, oh my God, did Ijust like give up on myself?
(13:04):
Did I like miss my opportunity?
But in a weird way, I don'tfeel that way.
I feel actually kind ofrelieved.
I'm feeling like you know whatthat wasn't meant to be.
My body and my mind weren't inthe right place to be able to go
after that goal and run eitherat Berlin or CIM, which were the
two races that I had lined upfor this past season to like try
(13:26):
to go after this goal, and itdidn't happen because I wasn't.
I wasn't in a place where I wasable to log these 20 mile runs
and do all the things that youhave to do, and that's okay,
because I've learned so manyother things.
But I will say that it's beeninteresting to see how my
relationship with my sobrietyand food and all these other
(13:49):
things have come into play.
So a little bit more about mystory this is something that
I've talked about on a lot ofepisodes is how I, when I was a
fashion model for over a decade,I ended up coming to some testy
, testy situations with myrelationship with food, and I
don't think that it's.
(14:09):
I mean, I guess some people onthe outside might might say that
it's eating disorder behavior,but in the way I see it, I see
it as I did what I needed to doto get to where I wanted to go
and in the times that I startedmodeling and the times
throughout my career where itwas, it was a matter of
livelihood, of how I ate, tothen be able to perform, to work
(14:32):
, as in basically being in avery restricted state for a long
period of time, to be a certainsize, to continue to get booked
.
It's like what you hear aboutin the shows and the
documentaries about.
You know the horrible thingsthat happen with fashion
modeling.
Yeah, all that it's just like.
That was my life, like I just Ihad to do a lot of stuff to stay
a certain way.
The lifestyle was hectic, itwas crazy.
(14:54):
There were people telling me Ineeded to be a certain size.
There were contracts that youknow were dictating what I
needed to do to stay a certainsize.
It was insane and that was mylife for so long.
And I think it's very hard tolike shake that off, like once I
didn't have the pressure ofmodeling.
It's like it wasn't, like Icould just wake up and be like
okay, well, now I'm just gonnabe like this kind of person who
(15:14):
eats a certain kind of way.
It's like no, that stuff hasstayed in me and it probably
will stay in me for foreverbecause it's just the way that I
was brought up.
Like, can you imagine growingup in front of the camera and
having people say things likewow, like your face looks so
much better, if only you'rethinner?
Or you know you really noticethat extra little bit on your
(15:34):
hips, everywhere else in yourbody, because you know the stuff
is just ingrained in you, itjust becomes part of you and
it's just like it's kind ofcrazy to think that like after
all that then to get intorunning and have running be like
also kind of a weird thing withall that stuff.
(15:55):
I just kind of think that thispast year has been me decoupling
myself from how I look, likehow I look doesn't matter.
Now it's more about how do Ifeel, what's gonna make me feel
the best, and that's kind ofjust been my approach and I
think it's pretty awesome.
Like I don't really say thatI've like recovered, because
(16:16):
that's a strange word when Ithink it's like not, I don't fit
that textbook.
Somebody had like a severeeating disorder and they were
like obsessing about how theylooked and then they suddenly
woke up and had a hamburger andfries and they recovered.
I don't think that's anythingto do with my narrative.
Mine is more wow, I was underso much stress for so long.
Everything depended on how Iate for how I was gonna make
(16:38):
money and make my rent, and thenI could finally see the other
side of it and be like wait,this is not how my life has to
be, like my value doesn't lie inhow I look.
So, that said, like the otherthing about that is that then I,
you know, I think there was aperiod of time where it's like
my value.
(16:58):
I was learning this very slowlyand gradually, like, okay, my
appearance isn't what makes meimportant or my appearance isn't
my purpose.
And then it became aboutrunning and I was like, okay,
well, I can run fast and likeprove myself and take this body
that was like kind ofmanipulated with the modeling
industry, and then I can make itgo fast and like defy all the
(17:19):
things that all those peopleever said about me and show that
I can, like I'm worth it, youknow.
And then it's like this pastyear has been like no, I don't
even have to prove myself withspeed either, I can just exist.
And you know, I think thatthat's kind of cool as well.
And so, with that newfoundmindset, it's taking on this
(17:41):
whole other approach to running,where I'm just kind of like I
will run and compete if and when.
That feels right to me and itfeels inspiring and it doesn't
feel like a chore, it doesn'tfeel like something I have to do
and all the while I've beenfocusing so much on strength and
staying really fit in a totallydifferent kind of way.
(18:05):
So, as some of you guys know,over the summer I got injured
and I really hurt my shin.
So not only was I alreadyfeeling kind of funny about
running in general and trainingand the workload required to
train for marathons, I also wasinjured.
So it was like the decision wasmade for me that like, hey,
you're not gonna be getting outthere running these long
distances, so what can I doinstead?
And the same amount of timethat I would put in a day
(18:28):
towards my running.
I just found other things to do.
So I started doing some reallycrazy incline walking, which
sounds crazy but like your heartrate gets up pretty high.
It's almost the same as likerunning.
But I started getting intoincline walking and, as you know
, I'm obsessed with the stairclimber and doing all these
other things to stay physicallyfit, aerobically fit, and it's
(18:50):
been awesome because, like Istep on that treadmill and it
has nothing to do with like I'mnot comparing myself to myself
the way I used to, where I'mlike, okay, I better run 10
miles and under an hour go.
Now it's like I'm gonna pushmyself, but the times and the
distances have no relevance anddon't really matter, cause it's
like nobody knows the differencebetween hiking for four miles
(19:13):
at a 15% incline but they don'tknow what that even means, like
it's like that's to me.
It's intense and it's awesome,but it's like it's just like I'm
just I'm seeing littleimprovements for where I am on
any given day, but it hasnothing to do with like what
that looks like in terms ofpaces, of how it's gonna look in
a race and yeah, it can kind of.
It's kind of freed me from anykind of like expectations.
(19:36):
But I still managed to stayincredibly strong and, if
anything, I'm probably strongerfrom the inside out by doing
these other kinds of crosstraining Exercises and I love
that.
I'm so excited about that.
Like I get so psyched when Iwake up and I'm like I'm gonna
go do this crazy ass inclinewalk or even something
Spontaneous.
Like the other day, someonefrom the photo studio I work at
(19:57):
invited me to come out to NewJersey and we did this crazy
hike for four hours it was, itwas cold, it was steep, it was
insane and I was like damn, mybody is fucking strong for doing
this and it made me feel great.
So it's been interesting tojust see how, like, my training
has kind of evolved and I don'tfeel Pressure or stress like I
(20:21):
don't feel like I have to provemyself the way that I once did.
Now I have a lot of.
I've made a lot of friends thisyear, a lot of new friends that
are all awesome runners.
They're amazing and I'minspired by them.
I love also giving peopleadvice for like coaching and
stuff like I'm still a runningcoach.
I still love guiding people inways that have helped me to help
(20:45):
other people get to where theywant to go with their goals and
so like that's still very muchin me and I know that when the
fire is there again and when itmakes sense to compete, it's
gonna be awesome because I'mgonna feel like I know I know
how much I Actually am doing itfrom the bottom of my heart
(21:06):
versus for anybody else.
So I did sign up for theChicago Marathon in 2024.
So next fall for this, nextyear, I do have a race on the
books of like that could happen.
I mean I'm gonna see where I'mat in the summer and see like if
, if and when that makes senseand Just go from there and like
(21:29):
who knows, things could pop up.
I think about the year that Ihad one of the huge, the biggest
breakthroughs in my runningcareer was in 2021, where I Kind
of just started doing theseraces spontaneously.
I would jump into them withlike very little notice and I
would run these crazy PRs, and Ilove that approach.
I think that's kind of how Iroll.
I think that's the kind ofathlete I am.
(21:49):
I like just kind of not havingtoo much expectation and just
like surprising myself.
It's like under promise andover deliver.
I like doing that to myself,like I like to under promise to
myself and over deliver.
I'd be like, yeah, like youjust ran a 34, 37, 10 K out of
nowhere.
That's that's what I'm talkingabout.
Like that's the kind of athletethat I think I am.
(22:11):
I think it's very, it's likejust my style.
Like I don't like to be tooplanned.
I think it may be it's like anAquarius thing or something, but
yeah, so I do have a race onthe books for 2024.
If anyone's wondering.
In the meantime, I am in NewYork right now.
I've been in New York for a bitand I'm going back to Texas for
Thanksgiving and I'm gonna justkind of like play it by ear
(22:33):
again.
This is again just like mypersonality.
I'm gonna go back out to Texas.
I just did a bunch of shootshere in New York.
So, like I have a few moreshoots at the end of this week
and I'm gonna get on a plane, goback to Texas and I'm just
gonna see how it goes.
Like, I love Texas.
That's where my like officialhome is now.
I mean, that's where I livewith my boyfriend and I'm gonna
continue to try to like findwork out there, come back to New
(22:56):
York when I need to for shootsout here.
I'm kind of doing like both NewYork and Texas right now and
See, see what happens, but I'mvery open to like what the
future holds.
I think that like the best thingI learned in my recovery
program in 12th step is like youcan only control so many things
.
And in my life I can controlDay to day.
(23:16):
Like I know I'm gonna go workout in the gym every day, I'm
gonna go, I'm gonna stay sober,I'm gonna do these things, get a
good night's sleep every night,eat the same foods I love to
eat that make me feel the best,and Then that's about about it
Like I'm just controlling thethings that I can and then just
letting anything else happen asit does and like go where the
wind Takes me, and it's kind ofan amazing place to be, and I
(23:40):
think about where I was a yearago, before I went to Texas
originally, and I didn't havethis kind of like flexibility of
being malleable and Not beingtoo attached to an outcome.
I think that's the lesson hereis to detach ourselves from
expected outcomes and just liveyour life and Trust the process
(24:03):
and be, be in the moment, bepresent.
That's everything and it'sgotten me so far this past year.
So, yeah, that's what I have tosay today.
That's my, my update, and I hopethat something about this
speaks to you.
I'm hoping to also put up moreepisodes more consistent,
consistently.
I took a little break there,but I'm gonna be back,
(24:25):
especially as I have beencoaching these athletes.
I get so excited for them and Ilove sharing their process
along the way.
It's really inspiring to seewhat other people do and just
feel like you've given them alittle tool to put in their
toolbox and then go do bigthings.
So, yeah, if you're an athletewho wants to be coached by me, I
am opening up my roster tostart taking people on the new
(24:47):
year.
So let me know, send me a DM onInstagram.
I'm at Lucie BeatrixL-u-c-i-e-b-a-t-r-i-x, or go to
my website, lucie Beatrix com.
Fill out the form forsubmitting to be one of my
athletes and let's talk.
If you have a big goal and youwant to go after it, maybe we
can make that happen.
So until next time, just befast, just win.
I have so much exciting stuff to share with you
guys, so let's get into my show.
This is the Lucy Beatrixpodcast.
It's been a minute since I'veput up an episode and if you
didn't know anything about me,in a nutshell, I was a fashion
model who worked for over adecade appearing on the covers
of several magazines.
I worked for all the big brandsover the years and I stumbled
(00:29):
into the sport of competitiverunning.
I got into marathoning.
I ran a 244 marathon last yearat the Chicago Marathon and
honestly, if you ask me who areyou, I would say I'm just a girl
living my life.
I've done a lot of things.
I wear a lot of hats, but todaywe're just going to be talking
about what's been going on in myworld and what I've been up to.
(00:51):
So typically on my show if yougo back and look at other
episodes I've done I've talkedabout a lot of things.
I've talked about the grief oflosing my father suddenly six
years ago, as he died sort ofsuddenly, and how I got over
that.
I've talked about getting soberand how making that lifestyle
(01:13):
changed my life, or justdeciding to clean up my act and
not drink alcohol anymore Reallychanged my life and actually
turned me into the runner that Iam today, or somebody who has
run rather competitive times indistances like the 5K, 10k, half
marathon and beyond.
I've done some crazy thingslike run 76 miles in a single
(01:37):
day on a track.
I participated in the speedproject running from LA to Vegas
.
I've done all kinds of crazystuff.
If you know me, you know that.
If you don't know me, welcome.
That's kind of me.
But yeah, so you know what'sreally crazy.
It was about a year ago that Iwas sitting on a set at a photo
studio where I was workingbehind the scenes, so I wasn't
(01:59):
in front of the camera, I wasworking on the other side of the
camera, working at this shoot,and I was in New York City and I
looked around and New York wasjust starting to get pretty cold
and turning into winter.
It was dark and I said you knowwhat?
I'm not going to do this.
I don't want to be in New Yorkthis winter.
I need to get out of the cityand make a radical, spontaneous,
(02:21):
wild change.
So what did I do?
I packed my entire apartment upin Brooklyn and I literally
just went to Austin, texas,which is a really random place
for me to have chosen to go.
It was a place that I had onlybeen to once before for a race
in 2021.
And last year, I literally justtook a backpack, moved my life
(02:44):
to Austin, texas, and said I'mjust going to try this out and
see what the heck happens.
So what happened?
Originally, I went out to Austin, texas, to train with a very
competitive team with a bunch ofvery up and coming athletes all
going after that Olympic trialsqualifying time, which was
something that I was striving toobtain, and I went out there
(03:08):
with this intent to just focuson running, make that my main
thing.
But what happened was I?
Well, firstly, what happened iskind of funny, it's crazy.
So I got out to Texas and I wastraining with this team and
they're awesome, they're fast,they're just like so, so
competitive and I ended upmeeting a man and falling in
(03:32):
love and kind of took a littledetour.
I actually ended up, instead oforiginally going out there and
just training full time, I endedup finding someone and starting
a totally new chapter,something beyond my wildest
dreams, which was learning howto be a girlfriend, which, I
(03:52):
know that sounds really weird,but for someone like me who had
been living in New York City for16 years.
Up until that point, I learnedhow to be in a relationship with
someone and that was really,that was my new lesson, or that
was my new thing, that I waslike, wow, this is really really
wild and you frontier for meand at the same time, what
(04:13):
coincided with this was reallyjust having an awakening of
figuring out who the heck I am,underneath the magazine
portfolio of all the things thatI shot for over the years and
carrying these identities that Ihad kind of accumulated over
all the time that I had in NewYork.
Because in New York I am, I'mjust a multifaceted person with
(04:37):
all of these accomplishments,from when I was this Ford model
at the top of my game, crushingit with my fashion modeling
career, to then getting intorunning and just being like I'm
a runner and a model and I writeand I shoot and I work on all
these different projects all thetime.
And out there, I was just agirl.
(04:59):
I was just a random girlwalking around the streets of
Austin.
Nobody knew anything about me.
Really, I was just kind ofanonymous again and it was kind
of fun to just see what is whatis my personality when I don't
have all of these other thingsattached to me?
Because in New York I walk downthe street and any given day I
(05:21):
run into people and I I seepeople from my past or all the
different phases I've beenthrough, whether it was when I
was a yoga teacher.
It's like people from the yogastudio or people who know me on
the track is that crazy girlwho's always on the track or
people who know me from the Fordmodels day.
Like I have all these differentpersonalities of ways that
people knew me here in New York,but then when I got to Texas,
(05:43):
it was just like I could bestripped of all of that and just
be the the raw personunderneath and then have that
coincide with meeting somebodycompletely new who didn't know
this version of me or all theseversions of me in New York and
start a relationship.
So it's kind of it's kind ofcrazy that like that's what
happened when I went out to youare out to Austin a year ago.
(06:06):
Well, I was out in Austin and Iended up getting an apartment
there and spent a couple seasonsliving in Texas and all the
while I was coming back andforth to New York.
So I still had a photo studiojob here in New York working
behind the scenes, because myfashion modeling career kind of
(06:27):
led me to this other careerwhere I'd be working on shoots,
not as the model, but on theother side of things doing
various tasks, and so I wouldcome back to New York a lot
while I was living in Texas.
So I still kind of always hadone foot on the ground here in
New York because I would stillbe working and I was still
making most of my money workingin New York for these weeks that
(06:51):
I would come out and then I'dgo back to Texas and take a
break and then go back to NewYork, kind of going back and
forth a lot.
And then over the summer Irealized that my running was
really taking a turn.
So when I ran that 244 marathonlast fall in Chicago, it was a
really big deal.
That was something that said alot to my community of other
(07:15):
runners that I trained with, ofhey, this running thing is
serious and that was a time thata few years prior, would have
qualified me for the 2020 USOlympic trials for the marathon.
A 245 is what you needed toqualify for the Olympic trials I
ran a 244.02.
So it said to me that like Ireally have this talent and I
(07:36):
want to foster it.
But with running and athleticsyou can't always choose when and
how you're going to be the bestversion of yourself as a
competitive athlete.
And for me, when I got to Texasand life kind of slowed down
around me and I wasn't havingthis crazy adrenaline of living
and working in New York City, Itook running to a different
(07:59):
place entirely.
Instead of amping up mycompetitive side, of being like
I got to win every single raceand run all the distances and be
crazy, instead I just took amore holistic approach to
running of how can I run to feelthe best?
How can I run to feel like thebest version of myself every day
(08:20):
?
Run to have energy instead oftake away all my energy.
How can I feel healthy?
And that changed me.
That changed me, it changed mytraining, it changed my entire
approach and I ran for a totallydifferent reason and all of my
goals with like times and likecompetition kind of started to
(08:44):
fade into a different place.
And what happened is I thinkthat I actually got a very
healthy approach to running andI think that, like all of this
life or death running that I wasdoing here in New York City
changed and I just took atotally different approach and
there were some days where I waskind of like what the hell am I
doing?
Like I'm not doing these earlytrack practices, I'm not doing
(09:07):
all these competitive thingsthat I used to do.
Instead, I'm just running theway that I used to way before I
ever knew that I had any kind oftalent or any kind of
competitive side.
I just ran for me to clear myhead and feel good, and that's
just kind of what I went back to.
And in a weird way, I thinkthat it helped me see all the
(09:29):
other things in my life thatcould be like, could have more,
more in them, so like having arelationship and having like
that kind of like interpersonalconnection with somebody else,
and have other things that Icould focus on, like writing and
making music and all theseother passions that kind of fell
by the wayside when I got superinto running.
(09:51):
I could kind of I could fosterthose and so, in a weird way,
this last year of since I ranthat 244 in Chicago really
became a totally differentpurpose in my life of figuring
out what my actual purpose isand what do I find joy in and
what kind of experiences do Iwant to have.
(10:12):
And what did I end up doing?
I ended up traveling with myboyfriend and having amazing
dinners and going on littleadventures with him and writing
so much, so much, that I'mfeeling more and more closer and
closer towards my dream ofpublishing a book, and so, yeah,
it's been just like aninteresting incubating year, but
(10:34):
it's also been just a time forme to figure out how, what makes
me happy and what's going tocontinue to make me happy for
the rest of my life.
So a few months ago, myboyfriend and I went to Europe.
We went to Berlin to watch ourfriends compete in the Berlin
marathon.
It was a race that I wasoriginally going to run, but
then, just you know, I didn'tfeel like everything was in line
(10:57):
for me to even try to attemptto train and then compete in a
marathon, so I just went toBerlin to watch my friends run.
It was great.
Then we went to Copenhagen andthen, when we came back from
Europe to the States, I ended upjust coming back to New York,
and I've been in New York nowfor the past few months working
(11:18):
and focusing on my photo studio,life stuff and I just wanted to
close out this year having alot of amazing shoots under my
belt and reminding myself oflike that version of me, and
when I want to focus on a photoshoot in the photo studio,
working behind the scenes, thesepeople, they're like my family.
I love them.
(11:39):
They're so talented.
They've been in the industryfor decades.
They know me in a way thatthat's like they know that I'm a
runner and they know that Ilove running.
But that's not how they see meLike.
I'm not just like Lucy therunner or Lucy the model.
I'm somebody who they work with.
That they just see me in acertain way.
I add value to the day with,like the work that I do and I
feel like that's a really coolthing to have because I can take
(12:02):
a step away from, like, all theother identities that I've had.
So it's been really helpful forme to be working like that.
But but that said, you know, thebig question is okay.
So, like now, what?
Like?
I've had this amazing year oflearning all these different
things about myself and I I'mI'm just as curious as I was
(12:23):
last year, about like what mypotential is with running, but
it just isn't a totallydifferent way.
So I feel like, you know, therewas this dark cloud that came
over me.
It was a few months ago when Ikind of realized my window to
qualify for the 2024 US OlympicMarathon Trials which is
(12:43):
originally my goal for a whileLike I really wanted to be on
that starting line in Februaryat the US Olympic Trials and
prove that I like I deserve tobe here.
That goal is now kind of it'sfallen by the wayside, it's been
replaced with other things andI used to feel kind of sad about
it.
I was like, oh my God, did Ijust like give up on myself?
(13:04):
Did I like miss my opportunity?
But in a weird way, I don'tfeel that way.
I feel actually kind ofrelieved.
I'm feeling like you know whatthat wasn't meant to be.
My body and my mind weren't inthe right place to be able to go
after that goal and run eitherat Berlin or CIM, which were the
two races that I had lined upfor this past season to like try
(13:26):
to go after this goal, and itdidn't happen because I wasn't.
I wasn't in a place where I wasable to log these 20 mile runs
and do all the things that youhave to do, and that's okay,
because I've learned so manyother things.
But I will say that it's beeninteresting to see how my
relationship with my sobrietyand food and all these other
(13:49):
things have come into play.
So a little bit more about mystory this is something that
I've talked about on a lot ofepisodes is how I, when I was a
fashion model for over a decade,I ended up coming to some testy
, testy situations with myrelationship with food, and I
don't think that it's.
(14:09):
I mean, I guess some people onthe outside might might say that
it's eating disorder behavior,but in the way I see it, I see
it as I did what I needed to doto get to where I wanted to go
and in the times that I startedmodeling and the times
throughout my career where itwas, it was a matter of
livelihood, of how I ate, tothen be able to perform, to work
(14:32):
, as in basically being in avery restricted state for a long
period of time, to be a certainsize, to continue to get booked
.
It's like what you hear aboutin the shows and the
documentaries about.
You know the horrible thingsthat happen with fashion
modeling.
Yeah, all that it's just like.
That was my life, like I just Ihad to do a lot of stuff to stay
a certain way.
The lifestyle was hectic, itwas crazy.
(14:54):
There were people telling me Ineeded to be a certain size.
There were contracts that youknow were dictating what I
needed to do to stay a certainsize.
It was insane and that was mylife for so long.
And I think it's very hard tolike shake that off, like once I
didn't have the pressure ofmodeling.
It's like it wasn't, like Icould just wake up and be like
okay, well, now I'm just gonnabe like this kind of person who
(15:14):
eats a certain kind of way.
It's like no, that stuff hasstayed in me and it probably
will stay in me for foreverbecause it's just the way that I
was brought up.
Like, can you imagine growingup in front of the camera and
having people say things likewow, like your face looks so
much better, if only you'rethinner?
Or you know you really noticethat extra little bit on your
(15:34):
hips, everywhere else in yourbody, because you know the stuff
is just ingrained in you, itjust becomes part of you and
it's just like it's kind ofcrazy to think that like after
all that then to get intorunning and have running be like
also kind of a weird thing withall that stuff.
(15:55):
I just kind of think that thispast year has been me decoupling
myself from how I look, likehow I look doesn't matter.
Now it's more about how do Ifeel, what's gonna make me feel
the best, and that's kind ofjust been my approach and I
think it's pretty awesome.
Like I don't really say thatI've like recovered, because
(16:16):
that's a strange word when Ithink it's like not, I don't fit
that textbook.
Somebody had like a severeeating disorder and they were
like obsessing about how theylooked and then they suddenly
woke up and had a hamburger andfries and they recovered.
I don't think that's anythingto do with my narrative.
Mine is more wow, I was underso much stress for so long.
Everything depended on how Iate for how I was gonna make
(16:38):
money and make my rent, and thenI could finally see the other
side of it and be like wait,this is not how my life has to
be, like my value doesn't lie inhow I look.
So, that said, like the otherthing about that is that then I,
you know, I think there was aperiod of time where it's like
my value.
(16:58):
I was learning this very slowlyand gradually, like, okay, my
appearance isn't what makes meimportant or my appearance isn't
my purpose.
And then it became aboutrunning and I was like, okay,
well, I can run fast and likeprove myself and take this body
that was like kind ofmanipulated with the modeling
industry, and then I can make itgo fast and like defy all the
(17:19):
things that all those peopleever said about me and show that
I can, like I'm worth it, youknow.
And then it's like this pastyear has been like no, I don't
even have to prove myself withspeed either, I can just exist.
And you know, I think thatthat's kind of cool as well.
And so, with that newfoundmindset, it's taking on this
(17:41):
whole other approach to running,where I'm just kind of like I
will run and compete if and when.
That feels right to me and itfeels inspiring and it doesn't
feel like a chore, it doesn'tfeel like something I have to do
and all the while I've beenfocusing so much on strength and
staying really fit in a totallydifferent kind of way.
(18:05):
So, as some of you guys know,over the summer I got injured
and I really hurt my shin.
So not only was I alreadyfeeling kind of funny about
running in general and trainingand the workload required to
train for marathons, I also wasinjured.
So it was like the decision wasmade for me that like, hey,
you're not gonna be getting outthere running these long
distances, so what can I doinstead?
And the same amount of timethat I would put in a day
(18:28):
towards my running.
I just found other things to do.
So I started doing some reallycrazy incline walking, which
sounds crazy but like your heartrate gets up pretty high.
It's almost the same as likerunning.
But I started getting intoincline walking and, as you know
, I'm obsessed with the stairclimber and doing all these
other things to stay physicallyfit, aerobically fit, and it's
(18:50):
been awesome because, like Istep on that treadmill and it
has nothing to do with like I'mnot comparing myself to myself
the way I used to, where I'mlike, okay, I better run 10
miles and under an hour go.
Now it's like I'm gonna pushmyself, but the times and the
distances have no relevance anddon't really matter, cause it's
like nobody knows the differencebetween hiking for four miles
(19:13):
at a 15% incline but they don'tknow what that even means, like
it's like that's to me.
It's intense and it's awesome,but it's like it's just like I'm
just I'm seeing littleimprovements for where I am on
any given day, but it hasnothing to do with like what
that looks like in terms ofpaces, of how it's gonna look in
a race and yeah, it can kind of.
It's kind of freed me from anykind of like expectations.
(19:36):
But I still managed to stayincredibly strong and, if
anything, I'm probably strongerfrom the inside out by doing
these other kinds of crosstraining Exercises and I love
that.
I'm so excited about that.
Like I get so psyched when Iwake up and I'm like I'm gonna
go do this crazy ass inclinewalk or even something
Spontaneous.
Like the other day, someonefrom the photo studio I work at
(19:57):
invited me to come out to NewJersey and we did this crazy
hike for four hours it was, itwas cold, it was steep, it was
insane and I was like damn, mybody is fucking strong for doing
this and it made me feel great.
So it's been interesting tojust see how, like, my training
has kind of evolved and I don'tfeel Pressure or stress like I
(20:21):
don't feel like I have to provemyself the way that I once did.
Now I have a lot of.
I've made a lot of friends thisyear, a lot of new friends that
are all awesome runners.
They're amazing and I'minspired by them.
I love also giving peopleadvice for like coaching and
stuff like I'm still a runningcoach.
I still love guiding people inways that have helped me to help
(20:45):
other people get to where theywant to go with their goals and
so like that's still very muchin me and I know that when the
fire is there again and when itmakes sense to compete, it's
gonna be awesome because I'mgonna feel like I know I know
how much I Actually am doing itfrom the bottom of my heart
(21:06):
versus for anybody else.
So I did sign up for theChicago Marathon in 2024.
So next fall for this, nextyear, I do have a race on the
books of like that could happen.
I mean I'm gonna see where I'mat in the summer and see like if
, if and when that makes senseand Just go from there and like
(21:29):
who knows, things could pop up.
I think about the year that Ihad one of the huge, the biggest
breakthroughs in my runningcareer was in 2021, where I Kind
of just started doing theseraces spontaneously.
I would jump into them withlike very little notice and I
would run these crazy PRs, and Ilove that approach.
I think that's kind of how Iroll.
I think that's the kind ofathlete I am.
(21:49):
I like just kind of not havingtoo much expectation and just
like surprising myself.
It's like under promise andover deliver.
I like doing that to myself,like I like to under promise to
myself and over deliver.
I'd be like, yeah, like youjust ran a 34, 37, 10 K out of
nowhere.
That's that's what I'm talkingabout.
Like that's the kind of athletethat I think I am.
(22:11):
I think it's very, it's likejust my style.
Like I don't like to be tooplanned.
I think it may be it's like anAquarius thing or something, but
yeah, so I do have a race onthe books for 2024.
If anyone's wondering.
In the meantime, I am in NewYork right now.
I've been in New York for a bitand I'm going back to Texas for
Thanksgiving and I'm gonna justkind of like play it by ear
(22:33):
again.
This is again just like mypersonality.
I'm gonna go back out to Texas.
I just did a bunch of shootshere in New York.
So, like I have a few moreshoots at the end of this week
and I'm gonna get on a plane, goback to Texas and I'm just
gonna see how it goes.
Like, I love Texas.
That's where my like officialhome is now.
I mean, that's where I livewith my boyfriend and I'm gonna
continue to try to like findwork out there, come back to New
(22:56):
York when I need to for shootsout here.
I'm kind of doing like both NewYork and Texas right now and
See, see what happens, but I'mvery open to like what the
future holds.
I think that like the best thingI learned in my recovery
program in 12th step is like youcan only control so many things
.
And in my life I can controlDay to day.
(23:16):
Like I know I'm gonna go workout in the gym every day, I'm
gonna go, I'm gonna stay sober,I'm gonna do these things, get a
good night's sleep every night,eat the same foods I love to
eat that make me feel the best,and Then that's about about it
Like I'm just controlling thethings that I can and then just
letting anything else happen asit does and like go where the
wind Takes me, and it's kind ofan amazing place to be, and I
(23:40):
think about where I was a yearago, before I went to Texas
originally, and I didn't havethis kind of like flexibility of
being malleable and Not beingtoo attached to an outcome.
I think that's the lesson hereis to detach ourselves from
expected outcomes and just liveyour life and Trust the process
(24:03):
and be, be in the moment, bepresent.
That's everything and it'sgotten me so far this past year.
So, yeah, that's what I have tosay today.
That's my, my update, and I hopethat something about this
speaks to you.
I'm hoping to also put up moreepisodes more consistent,
consistently.
I took a little break there,but I'm gonna be back,
(24:25):
especially as I have beencoaching these athletes.
I get so excited for them and Ilove sharing their process
along the way.
It's really inspiring to seewhat other people do and just
feel like you've given them alittle tool to put in their
toolbox and then go do bigthings.
So, yeah, if you're an athletewho wants to be coached by me, I
am opening up my roster tostart taking people on the new
(24:47):
year.
So let me know, send me a DM onInstagram.
I'm at Lucie BeatrixL-u-c-i-e-b-a-t-r-i-x, or go to
my website, lucie Beatrix com.
Fill out the form forsubmitting to be one of my
athletes and let's talk.
If you have a big goal and youwant to go after it, maybe we
can make that happen.
So until next time, just befast, just win.
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