It's been a week of self-discovery and firsts, including giving up caffeine and redefining my identity. Join me as I share the ups and downs of taking a tiny break from running and battling caffeine withdrawals, while learning the importance of truly listening to my body.
We also talk about setting intentions for the full moon, reading from my personal diary, and creating a "cool mom life." I open up about my past roles as a fashion model, runner, and sober person, and how I'm embracing all aspects of myself without letting any one identity define me. Don't miss this honest and raw exploration of self-growth, and let's manifest our goals and dreams together.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dear Diary.
Just kidding, this is the LucyBeatrix podcast, but today's
episode is kind of like a diaryepisode.
I'm just talking about what'sgoing on in my world.
So if you're interested in thatkind of thing, stay tuned.
Otherwise, if you want more ofa specific episode about
training or fueling or sobrietyor anything like that, go back
(00:21):
and listen to some of my otherepisodes.
But yeah, today's show is veryoff the cuff.
I'm talking about some thingsthat I'm exploring right now and
things that I've kind ofventured into.
But it just so happens that thisweek was a big week of firsts
for me And I figured I wouldjust talk about what those
(00:41):
firsts are, because they're kindof huge.
And I mean, if you know me, youknow that I was a fashion model
for over a decade And then Itransitioned to running fast and
far and running competitivetimes in the marathon.
But now I'm just kind of likeliving my life in Texas figuring
out who I am.
(01:02):
I'm still training, i'm stillgoing after a huge goal this
fall at the Berlin Marathon.
But all the while it's been avery interesting exploration in
my sense of self, and what Imean by that is I had this
identity in New York City for solong And now that I live in
Austin, texas, which wascompletely on a whim I kind of
(01:24):
like pointed to a place on themap and was like I want to be
there now.
Like six months ago I came outhere kind of just starting
completely over, and while Ihave a few pillars or North
stars that I look to as myguiding forces whether that's
training for a fast marathon inthe fall and focusing on my
sobriety as well as writing abook I have been just in this
(01:48):
state of finding out who I am,and that's been very eyeopening
because for so long I wasclinging to this identity as a
fashion model.
That's who I was.
That was what kind of explainedmy existence in New York City
for so long.
And then I clung ferociously tomy identity as a runner.
(02:08):
I was like I'm the runner, i'mgoing to go do crazy things,
like run 76 miles straight onthe track and then run every
race, and just I was veryobsessed with being that.
And then I also got reallyattached to my identity as a
sober person.
I'm like I'm the sober personwho.
This is my world, likeeverything I do is based on
(02:29):
being sober, and while I stilldo have those identities, like I
still do see myself as thisfashion model, like that is part
of my life, that's my past,it's what shaped me into
adulthood, i also see myself asa runner and a sober person,
because these things are true,but I don't let those things be
(02:51):
like the guiding force of who Iam.
And I've been thinking a lotabout this because this week, as
I mentioned, it was a week offirsts, and one of those firsts
was that I took the longestbreak from running I've ever
taken in my entire running life,which has been.
I took four days off was itthree or four?
I think it was four days off ofrunning.
(03:12):
Yeah, it was four whole daysoff of running, and that is a
long, long time for me.
I've never done that before.
So I yeah, i just basicallydecided that I it kind of was an
on a whim thing, i didn't planthis, but it coincided with a
couple things.
(03:33):
It started on over this lastweekend where I went out to get
a coffee with my boyfriend andon the way to getting coffee
this is kind of a long, long andwinded way of explaining, like,
why I took four days off ofrunning, i was not feeling too
great And so I drank an energydrink a Celsius energy drink, on
(03:53):
the way to getting coffee withmy boyfriend And we got some
cold brew which is verycaffeinated, like iced coffee,
and then after that I wantedanother energy drink And I was
like God, i just don't feel thatgreat today, like I'm just so
low energy And I had drunk somuch caffeine.
But I still felt tired And Iwas like something is wrong with
(04:14):
me.
Like why do I feel tired?
Why is like standing up I feelfaint, like I am not living an
optimal life, like here I amlike trying to like make myself
a better person and live veryhealthfully, and I try to eat a
certain way.
I try to like you know, live ina way that's full of health.
And what am I doing?
I'm pouring enough caffeineinto my body that could like
(04:37):
kill a small animal that everyday.
This is not in a.
This wasn't like a one-off kindof a day, like I do that kind
of stuff all the time.
So I decided, okay, i don'tfeel that great, i'm not going
to run today.
So I didn't run that day.
Then the next day I was like youknow what Fuck caffeine?
(04:57):
I'm over it.
I'm over this dependence oncaffeine that I have because
I've been consuming somethinglike 600 milligrams of caffeine
a day for the past 15, 16, 17,18, who knows, maybe two decades
worth since I started drinkingcoffee.
I mean, i started drinkingcoffee in high school And so,
(05:19):
when I think about it, i reallyhaven't gone a prolonged period
without having caffeine in mysystem and a lot of caffeine in
my system on top of that.
So it was.
It was time I needed to likereset.
So I was like you know what,i'm not going to drink any
caffeine this entire day.
No coffee, no energy drink, nonothing.
And in a weird way, i kind ofthought of it like this is a get
(05:42):
out of jail, free car type of aday where I'm just going to
like let this be an off, weirdday.
So I let myself rest.
I was not feeling good at all.
I was having GI issues on topof that.
I felt like I just was likemaybe had the flu or something.
I just felt horrible on thatfirst day with no caffeine And I
(06:02):
thought, you know what, if Ican get through one day, maybe
just try to string them togetherand do a couple days.
So I just I kind of did thiswhole thing that I've learned in
recovery from alcoholism, whichis one day at a time.
And so I just was like you knowwhat, today is the day I didn't
drink caffeine, not gonna worryabout how far I'm gonna go with
it, i'm just gonna see if I cando it again, like see how I
(06:22):
feel in the morning, and justkeep going.
So I did and it was not fun.
I had horrible headaches, ifelt so sick, everything was
wrong.
But I also decided at the sametime I'm not gonna run either,
which is really weird for me.
I ran the day after running theChicago Marathon.
(06:45):
Like I mean, i've ran the dayafter huge runs and when I'm the
most tired and broken andwhatever I've run.
So the decision is not run.
I was like, okay, i'm justgonna see what this is like,
cause I'd never really done itbefore.
And the other thing I shouldadd is like I didn't just
replace that with other cardio.
I wasn't like slaving away inthe gym for an hour on the bike
(07:08):
or something.
I literally just did noexercise.
I was like I'm not even gonna,i'm not gonna hold myself to do
anything, cause I just don'tfeel well.
And I'm listening to my bodyfor real.
We hear it all the time listento your body, listen to your
body.
No, i was really listening tomy body And my body just said
you know what, girl, you've donea lot.
You've done so much over theyears that you're allowed to
(07:28):
just say I don't feel like ittoday.
And so I went with that And Iwent several days without
running, several days withoutcaffeine, and then suddenly, on
the third day of no caffeine, idid decide to run and I ran for
fun.
I didn't think about the pace.
It was hard because I think I'mnot used to it And my system is
(07:49):
still adjusting to this nocaffeine life.
But I actually felt really,really, really accomplished and
proud of myself when I gotthrough that.
And then I ran the next day,which was today.
So five days into no caffeine,i've run twice now, but I think
it's really amazing that I wasable to just take days off and
(08:10):
just reset.
And I kept thinking of it like,wow, i'm just pressing pause on
my adrenaline.
I've just been firing myself upfor so many years.
What happens if I just let itall sink in for a second And
this is not a novel concept Likeas a coach, as somebody who
knows a thing or two abouttraining and running, i know
(08:31):
that there's a time and a placefor a rest, but I mean taking
four days off of any kind ofexercise, that was pretty big
and something that I can't,honestly say I had done in a
really long time.
So it was kind of cool.
I actually felt really excitedabout it.
I was like this is reallyawesome And I think I'm just
like resetting everything insideAnd it kind of did fire me up
(08:54):
to think about how to starttraining again.
So yeah, but then now, thistime, now that I'm going back
into it, i'm like whoa, i likekicked caffeine And that seems
so small to so many people, butI'm telling you that was so big
for me.
I can't even tell you howdependent I was.
I thought that I needed to havethat every single day to ever
run.
I never thought I could runwithout having caffeine ever.
(09:17):
I don't even think I reallyhave before.
So this was so big.
So, on top of all these firsts,which was like not running, not
drinking caffeine, not caringabout these things, like being
like it's not that I'm justaloof to like what I need to do.
If I'm going to train hard forBerlin, it's that I just could
(09:37):
be like, yeah, i'm okay withthis.
I don't feel like I'm ready togo, get out there and run, so
this is just where I'm going tobe And yeah.
So it's like feeling likedetached from that pressure and
knowing that there's a reasonthat I'm feeling this way.
Whatever, it is like maybe Ineeded to like reset some other
(09:58):
stuff.
I may be like I just needed torest.
Maybe my body is working sohard that it needed to like just
chill.
Well, on top of that, it wasreally funny because my
boyfriend's out of town rightnow, but before he left, the
night before he left, i decidedto kind of surprise him.
I was like you know what?
We have this list ofrestaurants that we want to go
to in Austin.
(10:18):
Like he wants to either show meor we want to go together.
We've had a bunch of them, butthere are a few on the list that
are for very special occasions.
Or if there was a time and aplace that I wanted to eat steak
, there was this one spot thathe loves, and so I said to him
he was getting off work and hewas like what do you want to do
tonight, like dinner wise?
And I was like, well, i have anidea.
(10:38):
And then I suggested this andhe was like, oh yeah, like we're
going to go get steak.
And so it was really really funto go get a steak, which that's
kind of unusual for me.
I mean, i've had a couple ofbites here and there like over
the years and stuff.
But like to just be like, yeah,i'm going to go order a steak
at a restaurant.
You know, balls to the wall,here I am.
(11:01):
And at the same time, thisexact same day, which was like
this just all feeds into likethe week of firsts.
I mean, i do know how to drive,but like, so my boyfriend has a
Tesla and he's been teaching mehow to drive it And I've driven
it like maybe once or twicesince I moved to Texas.
But he was like, well, howabout you drive us to go get the
steak at the restaurant?
And I was like, okay, and sothen I drove us to go get dinner
(11:24):
, and then I drove him to theairport the next day on the
highway, like big stuff.
This is all really revelatory.
And I was like God, what ishappening Like Texas has made me
into a man.
Like I'm eating steak, i'mdriving a Tesla on the highway,
i'm just like I feel.
So it's just a funny.
It's very funny, but I also amleaning into it because I think
(11:47):
that there's kind of somethingto be said about just pressing
pause, turning your world upsidedown, doing things completely
opposite that you normally do,so you can get perspective and
kind of shake out what reallysticks and see like, oh, okay,
like these things are the mostimportant thing to me.
So in this practice of doingall these crazy ass things this
week, i was like, wow, writingmy book is the most important
(12:09):
thing to me right now, and notonly that making my body a
better body.
Not just like getting bought,like I could slave away and get
the miles in and maybe I'd justbe like, okay, cool, i checked
the boxes this week, but no, i'mmaking my body better right now
.
I know that by like fasting offof the caffeine, eating
different things, learning howto do things I don't normally do
(12:31):
, i feel more excited abouteverything else that I want to
go back to.
So I'm like, oh yeah, likerunning is awesome.
I can't believe I ever did that.
It's so hard I can't like wow,and so like I want to really
attack this marathon.
So it's kind of giving me aperspective shift.
And with that perspective shift, buckle up, because this is a
(12:52):
big one.
This is kind of like.
I'm sure some people who knowme are like what did she?
what is she going to say?
So I, it is kind of sound, kindof crazy.
I have some North stars and Ilove.
I love that I'm like soattached to like writing a book
and having my marathon this fallAnd like these things, that I'm
like these are my goals.
But beyond that, i also reallyreally, really, really, really,
(13:16):
really want to set up my life inthe next few years to be able
to become a mom.
And I've never really thoughtlike that before, like I'm not,
like I never like actually tookinspired action of what would it
be like to really be a mom.
And I noticed when I waswalking around Austin yesterday
listening to an audio book andenjoying golden hour, I was just
(13:38):
like living my best life.
And I looked at the tattoo onmy shoulder that's a wolf and it
has my dad's birthday and deathday on it And I was like I want
to tell my future child whenthey pointed that and they're
like mom, why do you have a bigass wolf tattoo on your shoulder
?
Because I'm going to be thatmom.
I want to be able to tell themthat that's in honor of their
(14:02):
grand pa, joe, and tell them allabout their grandfather, my dad
, and that weird feeling Like itsounds so like I don't know,
mystical.
I was like damn, that fires meup so much And like that makes
me want to just attack this raceeven more this fall and like do
all of the things, like havethis book out and have all these
(14:22):
things to show my future child.
Like I'm I'm excited thinkingabout it.
So I just keep thinking like Iwant to set my body up for that
And that's part of like this.
Like I didn't think that when Ifirst was quitting caffeine,
but I was like you know what?
I want to get off of relianceon something like that, so that
if and when I am pregnant whichI don't want to be drinking
(14:43):
copious amounts of caffeine Iwant to be able to be ready for
that.
And I also want to be able tobe ready for if there's a time
and a place when running isn'tmy only thing, like when I'm,
you know, i can have otherthings to be excited about.
And, honestly, it was weird tothink that that like that
feeling just intensified when Itook some days off and was like
(15:04):
eating steak and chilling outand giving my body a chance to
reset.
I was like you know what?
Yeah, i really, i really,really really want to be a mom
And so that's like a funny,funny thing that came to my mind
while I was in this week offirsts.
That is kind of awesome.
And so it's a full moon tonightwhich, by the way, i don't know
(15:27):
If you realize, because I'm notone of these astrology people
who's obsessed with that stuff,but I do feel like it's kind of
cool to have these intentionsthat we set on the full moon.
I don't even know if that's whatyou're supposed to do, but I'm
doing that.
So I'm setting all myintentions for the full moon,
and my intentions are to getthrough this training block for
Berlin and slay my goal likeblow my goal out of the water
(15:51):
and have a manuscript, have abook like you know, the majority
of my book done by the end ofthe year, have all the things
that I could ever dream of inthat way, and then set the stage
slowly but surely because weknow that this girl needs a lot
of I need to, you know warm upto what this life would look
(16:13):
like.
But slowly but surely, i wantto set the stage for what it
could look like to be this likecool mom, tattooed mom someday,
someday, somehow, who reallyknows.
But yeah, so that's my diaryentries of quite personal, i
guess.
But I guess it's also not,because if you listen to my show
(16:34):
, you know I talk about allkinds of crazy stuff.
So I hope you got something outof this.
Hit me up on Instagram.
I'm at Lucie BeatrixL-U-C-I-E-B-E-A-T-R-I-X.
And until next time, just befast, just win.
Dear Diary.
Just kidding, this is the LucyBeatrix podcast, but today's
episode is kind of like a diaryepisode.
I'm just talking about what'sgoing on in my world.
So if you're interested in thatkind of thing, stay tuned.
Otherwise, if you want more ofa specific episode about
training or fueling or sobrietyor anything like that, go back
(00:21):
and listen to some of my otherepisodes.
But yeah, today's show is veryoff the cuff.
I'm talking about some thingsthat I'm exploring right now and
things that I've kind ofventured into.
But it just so happens that thisweek was a big week of firsts
for me And I figured I wouldjust talk about what those
(00:41):
firsts are, because they're kindof huge.
And I mean, if you know me, youknow that I was a fashion model
for over a decade And then Itransitioned to running fast and
far and running competitivetimes in the marathon.
But now I'm just kind of likeliving my life in Texas figuring
out who I am.
(01:02):
I'm still training, i'm stillgoing after a huge goal this
fall at the Berlin Marathon.
But all the while it's been avery interesting exploration in
my sense of self, and what Imean by that is I had this
identity in New York City for solong And now that I live in
Austin, texas, which wascompletely on a whim I kind of
(01:24):
like pointed to a place on themap and was like I want to be
there now.
Like six months ago I came outhere kind of just starting
completely over, and while Ihave a few pillars or North
stars that I look to as myguiding forces whether that's
training for a fast marathon inthe fall and focusing on my
sobriety as well as writing abook I have been just in this
(01:48):
state of finding out who I am,and that's been very eyeopening
because for so long I wasclinging to this identity as a
fashion model.
That's who I was.
That was what kind of explainedmy existence in New York City
for so long.
And then I clung ferociously tomy identity as a runner.
(02:08):
I was like I'm the runner, i'mgoing to go do crazy things,
like run 76 miles straight onthe track and then run every
race, and just I was veryobsessed with being that.
And then I also got reallyattached to my identity as a
sober person.
I'm like I'm the sober personwho.
This is my world, likeeverything I do is based on
(02:29):
being sober, and while I stilldo have those identities, like I
still do see myself as thisfashion model, like that is part
of my life, that's my past,it's what shaped me into
adulthood, i also see myself asa runner and a sober person,
because these things are true,but I don't let those things be
(02:51):
like the guiding force of who Iam.
And I've been thinking a lotabout this because this week, as
I mentioned, it was a week offirsts, and one of those firsts
was that I took the longestbreak from running I've ever
taken in my entire running life,which has been.
I took four days off was itthree or four?
I think it was four days off ofrunning.
(03:12):
Yeah, it was four whole daysoff of running, and that is a
long, long time for me.
I've never done that before.
So I yeah, i just basicallydecided that I it kind of was an
on a whim thing, i didn't planthis, but it coincided with a
couple things.
(03:33):
It started on over this lastweekend where I went out to get
a coffee with my boyfriend andon the way to getting coffee
this is kind of a long, long andwinded way of explaining, like,
why I took four days off ofrunning, i was not feeling too
great And so I drank an energydrink a Celsius energy drink, on
(03:53):
the way to getting coffee withmy boyfriend And we got some
cold brew which is verycaffeinated, like iced coffee,
and then after that I wantedanother energy drink And I was
like God, i just don't feel thatgreat today, like I'm just so
low energy And I had drunk somuch caffeine.
But I still felt tired And Iwas like something is wrong with
(04:14):
me.
Like why do I feel tired?
Why is like standing up I feelfaint, like I am not living an
optimal life, like here I amlike trying to like make myself
a better person and live veryhealthfully, and I try to eat a
certain way.
I try to like you know, live ina way that's full of health.
And what am I doing?
I'm pouring enough caffeineinto my body that could like
(04:37):
kill a small animal that everyday.
This is not in a.
This wasn't like a one-off kindof a day, like I do that kind
of stuff all the time.
So I decided, okay, i don'tfeel that great, i'm not going
to run today.
So I didn't run that day.
Then the next day I was like youknow what Fuck caffeine?
(04:57):
I'm over it.
I'm over this dependence oncaffeine that I have because
I've been consuming somethinglike 600 milligrams of caffeine
a day for the past 15, 16, 17,18, who knows, maybe two decades
worth since I started drinkingcoffee.
I mean, i started drinkingcoffee in high school And so,
(05:19):
when I think about it, i reallyhaven't gone a prolonged period
without having caffeine in mysystem and a lot of caffeine in
my system on top of that.
So it was.
It was time I needed to likereset.
So I was like you know what,i'm not going to drink any
caffeine this entire day.
No coffee, no energy drink, nonothing.
And in a weird way, i kind ofthought of it like this is a get
(05:42):
out of jail, free car type of aday where I'm just going to
like let this be an off, weirdday.
So I let myself rest.
I was not feeling good at all.
I was having GI issues on topof that.
I felt like I just was likemaybe had the flu or something.
I just felt horrible on thatfirst day with no caffeine And I
(06:02):
thought, you know what, if Ican get through one day, maybe
just try to string them togetherand do a couple days.
So I just I kind of did thiswhole thing that I've learned in
recovery from alcoholism, whichis one day at a time.
And so I just was like you knowwhat, today is the day I didn't
drink caffeine, not gonna worryabout how far I'm gonna go with
it, i'm just gonna see if I cando it again, like see how I
(06:22):
feel in the morning, and justkeep going.
So I did and it was not fun.
I had horrible headaches, ifelt so sick, everything was
wrong.
But I also decided at the sametime I'm not gonna run either,
which is really weird for me.
I ran the day after running theChicago Marathon.
(06:45):
Like I mean, i've ran the dayafter huge runs and when I'm the
most tired and broken andwhatever I've run.
So the decision is not run.
I was like, okay, i'm justgonna see what this is like,
cause I'd never really done itbefore.
And the other thing I shouldadd is like I didn't just
replace that with other cardio.
I wasn't like slaving away inthe gym for an hour on the bike
(07:08):
or something.
I literally just did noexercise.
I was like I'm not even gonna,i'm not gonna hold myself to do
anything, cause I just don'tfeel well.
And I'm listening to my bodyfor real.
We hear it all the time listento your body, listen to your
body.
No, i was really listening tomy body And my body just said
you know what, girl, you've donea lot.
You've done so much over theyears that you're allowed to
(07:28):
just say I don't feel like ittoday.
And so I went with that And Iwent several days without
running, several days withoutcaffeine, and then suddenly, on
the third day of no caffeine, idid decide to run and I ran for
fun.
I didn't think about the pace.
It was hard because I think I'mnot used to it And my system is
(07:49):
still adjusting to this nocaffeine life.
But I actually felt really,really, really accomplished and
proud of myself when I gotthrough that.
And then I ran the next day,which was today.
So five days into no caffeine,i've run twice now, but I think
it's really amazing that I wasable to just take days off and
(08:10):
just reset.
And I kept thinking of it like,wow, i'm just pressing pause on
my adrenaline.
I've just been firing myself upfor so many years.
What happens if I just let itall sink in for a second And
this is not a novel concept Likeas a coach, as somebody who
knows a thing or two abouttraining and running, i know
(08:31):
that there's a time and a placefor a rest, but I mean taking
four days off of any kind ofexercise, that was pretty big
and something that I can't,honestly say I had done in a
really long time.
So it was kind of cool.
I actually felt really excitedabout it.
I was like this is reallyawesome And I think I'm just
like resetting everything insideAnd it kind of did fire me up
(08:54):
to think about how to starttraining again.
So yeah, but then now, thistime, now that I'm going back
into it, i'm like whoa, i likekicked caffeine And that seems
so small to so many people, butI'm telling you that was so big
for me.
I can't even tell you howdependent I was.
I thought that I needed to havethat every single day to ever
run.
I never thought I could runwithout having caffeine ever.
(09:17):
I don't even think I reallyhave before.
So this was so big.
So, on top of all these firsts,which was like not running, not
drinking caffeine, not caringabout these things, like being
like it's not that I'm justaloof to like what I need to do.
If I'm going to train hard forBerlin, it's that I just could
(09:37):
be like, yeah, i'm okay withthis.
I don't feel like I'm ready togo, get out there and run, so
this is just where I'm going tobe And yeah.
So it's like feeling likedetached from that pressure and
knowing that there's a reasonthat I'm feeling this way.
Whatever, it is like maybe Ineeded to like reset some other
(09:58):
stuff.
I may be like I just needed torest.
Maybe my body is working sohard that it needed to like just
chill.
Well, on top of that, it wasreally funny because my
boyfriend's out of town rightnow, but before he left, the
night before he left, i decidedto kind of surprise him.
I was like you know what?
We have this list ofrestaurants that we want to go
to in Austin.
(10:18):
Like he wants to either show meor we want to go together.
We've had a bunch of them, butthere are a few on the list that
are for very special occasions.
Or if there was a time and aplace that I wanted to eat steak
, there was this one spot thathe loves, and so I said to him
he was getting off work and hewas like what do you want to do
tonight, like dinner wise?
And I was like, well, i have anidea.
(10:38):
And then I suggested this andhe was like, oh yeah, like we're
going to go get steak.
And so it was really really funto go get a steak, which that's
kind of unusual for me.
I mean, i've had a couple ofbites here and there like over
the years and stuff.
But like to just be like, yeah,i'm going to go order a steak
at a restaurant.
You know, balls to the wall,here I am.
(11:01):
And at the same time, thisexact same day, which was like
this just all feeds into likethe week of firsts.
I mean, i do know how to drive,but like, so my boyfriend has a
Tesla and he's been teaching mehow to drive it And I've driven
it like maybe once or twicesince I moved to Texas.
But he was like, well, howabout you drive us to go get the
steak at the restaurant?
And I was like, okay, and sothen I drove us to go get dinner
(11:24):
, and then I drove him to theairport the next day on the
highway, like big stuff.
This is all really revelatory.
And I was like God, what ishappening Like Texas has made me
into a man.
Like I'm eating steak, i'mdriving a Tesla on the highway,
i'm just like I feel.
So it's just a funny.
It's very funny, but I also amleaning into it because I think
(11:47):
that there's kind of somethingto be said about just pressing
pause, turning your world upsidedown, doing things completely
opposite that you normally do,so you can get perspective and
kind of shake out what reallysticks and see like, oh, okay,
like these things are the mostimportant thing to me.
So in this practice of doingall these crazy ass things this
week, i was like, wow, writingmy book is the most important
(12:09):
thing to me right now, and notonly that making my body a
better body.
Not just like getting bought,like I could slave away and get
the miles in and maybe I'd justbe like, okay, cool, i checked
the boxes this week, but no, i'mmaking my body better right now
.
I know that by like fasting offof the caffeine, eating
different things, learning howto do things I don't normally do
(12:31):
, i feel more excited abouteverything else that I want to
go back to.
So I'm like, oh yeah, likerunning is awesome.
I can't believe I ever did that.
It's so hard I can't like wow,and so like I want to really
attack this marathon.
So it's kind of giving me aperspective shift.
And with that perspective shift, buckle up, because this is a
(12:52):
big one.
This is kind of like.
I'm sure some people who knowme are like what did she?
what is she going to say?
So I, it is kind of sound, kindof crazy.
I have some North stars and Ilove.
I love that I'm like soattached to like writing a book
and having my marathon this fallAnd like these things, that I'm
like these are my goals.
But beyond that, i also reallyreally, really, really, really,
(13:16):
really want to set up my life inthe next few years to be able
to become a mom.
And I've never really thoughtlike that before, like I'm not,
like I never like actually tookinspired action of what would it
be like to really be a mom.
And I noticed when I waswalking around Austin yesterday
listening to an audio book andenjoying golden hour, I was just
(13:38):
like living my best life.
And I looked at the tattoo onmy shoulder that's a wolf and it
has my dad's birthday and deathday on it And I was like I want
to tell my future child whenthey pointed that and they're
like mom, why do you have a bigass wolf tattoo on your shoulder
?
Because I'm going to be thatmom.
I want to be able to tell themthat that's in honor of their
(14:02):
grand pa, joe, and tell them allabout their grandfather, my dad
, and that weird feeling Like itsounds so like I don't know,
mystical.
I was like damn, that fires meup so much And like that makes
me want to just attack this raceeven more this fall and like do
all of the things, like havethis book out and have all these
(14:22):
things to show my future child.
Like I'm I'm excited thinkingabout it.
So I just keep thinking like Iwant to set my body up for that
And that's part of like this.
Like I didn't think that when Ifirst was quitting caffeine,
but I was like you know what?
I want to get off of relianceon something like that, so that
if and when I am pregnant whichI don't want to be drinking
(14:43):
copious amounts of caffeine Iwant to be able to be ready for
that.
And I also want to be able tobe ready for if there's a time
and a place when running isn'tmy only thing, like when I'm,
you know, i can have otherthings to be excited about.
And, honestly, it was weird tothink that that like that
feeling just intensified when Itook some days off and was like
(15:04):
eating steak and chilling outand giving my body a chance to
reset.
I was like you know what?
Yeah, i really, i really,really really want to be a mom
And so that's like a funny,funny thing that came to my mind
while I was in this week offirsts.
That is kind of awesome.
And so it's a full moon tonightwhich, by the way, i don't know
(15:27):
If you realize, because I'm notone of these astrology people
who's obsessed with that stuff,but I do feel like it's kind of
cool to have these intentionsthat we set on the full moon.
I don't even know if that's whatyou're supposed to do, but I'm
doing that.
So I'm setting all myintentions for the full moon,
and my intentions are to getthrough this training block for
Berlin and slay my goal likeblow my goal out of the water
(15:51):
and have a manuscript, have abook like you know, the majority
of my book done by the end ofthe year, have all the things
that I could ever dream of inthat way, and then set the stage
slowly but surely because weknow that this girl needs a lot
of I need to, you know warm upto what this life would look
(16:13):
like.
But slowly but surely, i wantto set the stage for what it
could look like to be this likecool mom, tattooed mom someday,
someday, somehow, who reallyknows.
But yeah, so that's my diaryentries of quite personal, i
guess.
But I guess it's also not,because if you listen to my show
(16:34):
, you know I talk about allkinds of crazy stuff.
So I hope you got something outof this.
Hit me up on Instagram.
I'm at Lucie BeatrixL-U-C-I-E-B-E-A-T-R-I-X.
And until next time, just befast, just win.
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