November 21, 2024 • 21 mins
It's been one hell of a year and to wrap it all up, we've collected some of the best (or worst) moments for your listening pleasure. Matty gets caught on camera again, Buzz Rothfield squares up to Cooper and guess which family member drank their own piss.
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You'll find the family on Instagram at @mattyjohnsaus @trishjohnsaus @cooperjohns @jackjohns___
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, people, how you doing. It's Matthew. John's here and
people got Christmas coming up? Holidays. Have about your little
taste at the Best of the John's Family Podcast. Let's
chat about some of our stories goings on through the week.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Matthew.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Actually I wanted to ask you, speaking of personal stories
through the week, there was some vision shown of you
salsa dancing at the CALLERID.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yes, there was. Yes, we went down myself. Well you
were there, Jackie, yourself, Cooper, our neighbor Maty O'Brien. We
went down and you'd left just before it. But halftime
in the football happened and I looked over at the
Coloroid and they do salsa. I've been wanting to do that, Yeah,
every Friday night. Friday night. So I thought, you know what,
I'd slip over there quietly and just join. And so
(00:48):
so I'm doing it. I must say. The hips were
moving beautifully in the anyway. I turned around and said,
that's enough, go back, turned around and Cooper's filming me.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The Coloro is not five word. The Coloroi is not
a big enough place for you to go. You literally
walked maybe ten meters away from our table, sort of
ducked around the corner and just jumped in and tried
to start dancing. And if well, Frankie's going to put
the footage with up on YouTube with us so you
can see he was. He was out of time, nearly
bumping into the people in front of him around him.
(01:22):
And to think that you were going to get away
with it without me trying to get footage of.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
You is a gup.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I'm going to question. I didn't see it because I've
been in zen world without any phones or technology. Coops.
Is it just like every other I think I can
imagine it.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Is we that shuffley thing?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Is that what it was?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
It's just like it's almost like yeah, or did he
even try and do like that?
Speaker 5 (01:44):
He's kind of just like getting the hands.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
And doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Something about Matthew and all he's dancing.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
He has really lazy wrists, always laz Yeah, you have
lazy wrists, so you'll be doing what you would do,
but just just flop outs like t Rex t Rex arms,
Richie arms.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I like bulldog Bulldogs three sixties on tonight. He's a
Jerry on there he is. That's so nice Jerry raffiy Okay,
that's one thing. I will say this too. If I
have look at the show Trush they were giving it
to me on the show Flat showed it and then
they asked me to get a member. I got a
lady up out of the audience and we were sorcering
(02:25):
together on the show, and I must say I went
back and had to look at it. I was moving
pretty fly.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Really yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, now the other one through, that one's okay. I'll
take that one right. Yesterday, Jack and I went and
had a game of tennis together and Jack won the
first set but with my racket. But from there I
just absolutely schooled him. I was on fire. I win
the next three sets right. But then all of a sudden,
(02:52):
as we move into the next set, which I eventually won,
I've been on fire all day. Drop shots, you know,
sitting at the back, just bush shooting down the line.
I get there and Jack does. Jack knocks it up,
and here's my chance for the big smash volley, and
for whatever reason, I completely miss it. Nearly fall over,
(03:12):
turn around, and this asshole is filming me, didn't film
any of the good stuff because he wasn't there. It
turns up I turned up and that was the first
thing I saw and dads that blow it, Dad blow
it like it was funny to blow up, but it was.
It came from a place because it was like three
nights after this Coloro salsa dancing. He came over and
he was swinging his racket and he was going, you asshole,
(03:33):
every time I turn around, do some embarrassing. You're filming me.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Learn from this?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, yeah, he was funny. Be better.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Matte Cooper was there when you boys after he's won
the comp, not that you won the comp, the Melbourne Yeah,
Melbourne boy, he's won the comp. In twenty twenty when
we were in towns date you guys went away, Where
(04:02):
were you guys staying somewhere out in the bush, wasn't
it was?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
No? That was it was you were staying at.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
You stayed with me?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah, but you disappeared one night, wasn't it.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I probably went to a.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
House, went to a house party.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, but it was like in the deep in there
was deep in the woods. It was like a what
do you call them hippies cult? Yes, it was like
a group of it was like a hostel, a cult cultivating.
We went to this hostel deep in the valleys of
Byron Bay. It took about half an hour to get there.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Was a little mate, Connor Watson with you.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Conna Watson was their little utility king. And we walked
in and everyone was dressed like kicking Hacki sacks and
drinking red wine, playing the bongos right, and we were
all dressed in like gene like ripped jet like. We
looked like we were from the two thousands. They looked
like they were just left La Llapalooza in the seventies.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, so we've stuck out and you're only allowed to
be at this party if you live in the hostel,
if you live at the area, because they all live
in tents and stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
It sounds like a cult. Yeah. It was very weird.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
And I remember Connor was like, hey, everyone.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Just be cool.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
We'll get that is kind of kind of just like
he's like, let's just be cool, and kind of walked in.
Good looking bloke, like wavy hair, far back hairline, and
he was walking through and he was like hey everyone,
and he was like drifting through and just sat up
like at this little table with like this old like
eighty year old guy and like this young girl. He
sat there, he was like, hey, started talking with him,
(05:26):
and that's right, he had Yeah, I'm trying to remember that.
I think it was like Keith, let's say his name
with Keith and Connor to start to allow us to
kind of fit into this area.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Keith.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
He went straight up to Keith and he goes, Keith,
I like your energy. I'm getting a vibe from you, Keith.
That's like we're supposed to meet here tonight. And Keith
goes Connor. I don't know what it is, but I
feel the exact same thing from you.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Really. Yeah, he knew exactly how to work him over
sue By and Bay. I go up there. Now it's strange.
Hippies used to be fun loving people. I've said this
numerous time in this podcast. Now there, now this are
quite angry and territorial even people. That's like people move
out to Barron Bay there for a week and suddenly
they feel like they're local. I went into and it's
one of the last domains of the asshole barista sometimes
(06:13):
going to a cafe and the other barist's thinking the
moved on.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Now it's the bart and it's the mixologist.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Well now, well, I went up there and walked into
a cafe. It was about eleven o'clock, so people that
have their had their breakfast and their coffees and whatnot.
I'm the only person in the place. I walk in
and there's a fella there with with a young lady
and I'm stilling the gop. I'm waiting, waiting, and they're
chatting and I'm waiting and the girl turned around sort
(06:40):
of looked at me, Oh, sorry, can we help you?
And I was like, yeah, could I get a just
cappuccino please? She went yep. Name? I went, Matt, m
A two. She goes, yep, I can spell. And I go, oh,
here we go. So now I'm standing there by myself.
I'm standing there. Anyway, they go and they missed the
(07:01):
coffee and old mate, the fellow stands there on the
only person shopping, goes Matt. Matt, and he's looking around.
I go, oh, sorry, right here, and just went like wow, wow,
m So you have a head. What are you trush?
(07:26):
Apart from Big Dog? Who would you which mascot would
you date?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Do you think I'm going to go with the West Tiger?
Oh he'd have a name?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah. Tim. Back in the day, when he.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Keep it simple.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Yeah, yeah, memorable.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I've got something for you as well. I was circling
news dot com before and I found a story about
this lady who she's covered in eight hundred tattoos and
she was kicked out of church, and I thought it
was very instant. She had a crucifix on her face,
and apparently she went in to the church and was singing,
and then the priest came up to her and said, oh,
(08:08):
you're singing too loud.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You need to leave.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
But now it's come out that apparently she was kicked
out because of her excess tattoo.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's come on? Does that? Does that give you what I.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Got told to be quite in church singing too?
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah? But you were singing give me your head out
loud in primary school? Really, I was singing too loud.
Of what song was it?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I don't know, like a religious one. Probably Lord of
the Dance.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I did like that.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I got quite into.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
But there's hundreds of people in the church. How loud
are you singing for like the priests and stuff?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Loud? Remember the old ladies when you're going to church?
And can I just make put something out there for
the listeners to have a look at bit of homework.
I want you to go on YouTube. Type in Dave
Edmonds Girl Girl's Talk on Countdown. Dave Edmonds Girls Talk
(09:09):
is the song on Countdown, just what we're talking about.
He's up doing a live performance on Countdown and there
is a woman who's a young girl who's side, who's
at the front, and she's singing that loud you can
barely heard Dave, and he's looking down at her laughing,
that's very good, it's very good. Well she's not seeing you. Well.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
The question I wanted to pose you from from that
story is it is it not? Is it unethical? Because
there's some nightclubs that won't let you and if you
have tattoos on your hands. I remember, like I was
out with Shandle one night in Brisbane and they wouldn't
let him in because he had tattoos on his hands.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Because I think that for any other reason, I think
get a shirt off as well.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
In Tokyo, there's a lot of that.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
In Tokyo.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
You couldn't go to the pool area. I couldn't go.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Yeah, where I was saying when I went a few
years back, couldn't go to the pool area if you
had like one of my mates had a I think
it was like a bird tattoo on his forearm, and
they said no. But apparently there's a close association with
the yakuza.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
It is all at all, It is all gang related.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, is that with it?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Should that be allowed?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I suppose that's the thing I was thinking, especialscriminated against people.
You know, I don't think so unless there's something wearing.
She's not the sixties. We're basically, you know, criminals and
criminals and.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Tattoos mean what? But the gang people know what they mean?
Do you know what I mean? It shouldn't be left
to hotels and and things.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Like that to know what they mean.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
I understand that.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
But you look at some of the blokes now on
the Northern beaches. They're covered in tats because they like
how it looked like blood. Cyland Pongo wouldn't be able
to get in anywhereff like little birds.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
He's got little pieces on him. That's that's. There's a
couple of different versions of tattoo, the homemade tattoos.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
They might be so secummy.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Friend, he only did a couple of them now. He
used to like get the little ones all over him.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
A lot of people are doing that now, down their
arms and things. They've just got little bits here and there.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I was going to get the crucifix on my face today.
I've got to cancel the Appointment's not going to let
me in the church? Was the point?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
When's the last week?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Any we're hanging on it?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
The last time you've been to church? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Yeah, you know what, I still want to go.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I went to a funeral three weeks ago. Thanks mate.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Your that is the like that doesn't count.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Maybe try Christmas and sure it does.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Seniors don't count?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Is going to church? Yeah it does? I'm fake the apologies,
my apologies.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
So when was the last time he took the communion?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I haven't taken the Eucharist. I haven't taken probably Christ
from probably twenty years.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
You only go for the red wine, don't you?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
The red wine? Red wine? Stick it the last time
I had to drink I went mate that peanut because
it takes more like it's blending body of Christ and
drink the blood of Christ. Is it pani or is
it a full bodied red.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
From the Hunter Valley?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Sure Jesus was delicious. So Jesus was from the Clothvale
be careful, Jesus our friend. The reason that I mean,
we can joke because Jesus, that's why he gave us
a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
It's what he gave us hands. Because you know people
people say sometimes that masturbating the sin, and I said, well,
God gave us a sex driving hands. That's what he
wanted this to do.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Is there anything else?
Speaker 4 (12:43):
One last bit? Okay, I like my quote. So the week,
Matt's not here to provide the good. But coover, did
we're watching the Bear? Have you watched that?
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Buzz I haven't.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
It's a very good show.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Good show, a good show. Do you cook?
Speaker 5 (12:56):
I'm a massive cook. I love That's why I'm going
to Harris Farm after this to get something.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
You'll enjoy the Bear.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I'm a bit of cook, my cooker, cook chef myself
and I actually have this segment called Recipe of the
Week going here for about.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Three three years and I've got nothing but hate for it.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
I love spicy food, I like spacy, love chili. Gosh,
I'd hate to follow you on the ship. She sure
behavior today?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Did you keep parenting if you're going to punish him?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
But I will.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
I'm not going to retire yet for another year or two.
I will square up with you in my newspaper. No,
I don't want I will square up.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I don't want a war of words.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
The Telegraph.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Okay. So we're watching the Bear the other day and
the Sun in it, it's talking about not being with
his mum, who loved very much as she passed. So
I asked Cooper, said, oh, would you like to be
with me when I die? And it goes to pen
so or what and he's like, oh, well, if it's
an earthquake. If it's an earthquake, no, because that means
(14:11):
I'm going to be there too, and I'm going to
die too, like very self preserving. Up has always been
self preserving. And I said, okay, well, what if I
got hit by the car and he goes only if
I was driving.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
A kid, I wouldn't want.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
To the only because I wouldn't want to lose anything
To merit point. Michael Floyd was an NFL player, so
this is my favorite one. He actually pulled up at
the traffic lights and then the traffic lights went through
(14:48):
two separate rotations and he didn't move. The cops pulled
up next to him and realized he'd fallen asleep at
the wheel with his mouth wide open. So they woke
him up and we're trying to get him to exit,
but he couldn't get out of the vehicle. So when
they breathalyzed him any blue like three times have a
limit or something like that.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Can I just say, I read that article about justin
timulate he has refused a breathalyzer. So in America you
apparently you can refuse. He didn't pass the sobrietary test,
which is where they get you to walk. It's a
whole different set of standards over there, but you can
refuse a breath liser. I don't think you can refuse
it here.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
No, you can, but you are charged.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
Okay, well he's being charged.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, okay, you can't. You can refuse, but you'll.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Be charge automatically. There's the assumption that you'll.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Get there and said no, come on, blow into it,
and they'll no, And I can't. I can't say if
you don't do it, we're going to charge you.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Well, that's the same with like drug testing asata in
the NL or any sport. If you if you say
you can say no, but then you're instantly guilty.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Is it the assumption that then you are, there's assumption that.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
There is something in your piss anymore?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
The last one, that's how they can catch you if
you run.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
There was a story about one player that did run,
ran over the fence, ran over there.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
There was another story about a player who just continually
swam until until just because you like so, just kept swimming,
just kept swimming, sweating it out, pissing continually into the pool,
so that hopefully by the end of the day the
urine was all that little tip to the kids out there.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
The original one used to be when it first came out,
and the blood the drug testers didn't have to stand
in front of the athletes. So a lot of the
footballers back in the day they follow there and they
just have a swig of beer and just spit it
in there because because it wasn't just trying to cheat it,
what it was was a pain in the ass. You
get get you, you get to the end of ating,
you get to the end of eighty minutes and you're dehydrated,
(16:41):
and you got to you can stand there for an nowtris.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Honestly, I'd be standing out the front of the dressing
rooms waiting for him would be the last people there.
And Matt was still trying to peep after.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
A game too, like you're so dehydrated, it's so hard,
Like it has to be a certain pH as well.
You can't have a temperature, yeah, in temperature like it
has to now it's well, yeah, these and they look
at you, they look they just stare at you.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Old fellows looking at you, look at your old fellas.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
And the same old blake got me in just about
every single time. And my last ever game for the club,
I'm walking off the field and now until it was
the last training run ever before my last game, it
was a semi final, I didn't know what was going
to be a last game, but I thought this is
probably the last time ever going to be drug tested.
So I walked in anyway I needed. Until it was
(17:29):
only a training session, I urinated right to the top
of the glass and he was like, stop, that's enough, stop,
stop stop. I kept doing it and he we just
looked at each other and I said, you know what
I said. You have driven me mad for the last
six seven years. So now every time you do one
of these drug tests, you're going to think of me,
and I scowled the urine up until about the amount
(17:50):
that I had to learn, not yes, what it's a
well known story. I've told it numerous times.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
And he just stared at me, and then, when are
you going to have to do it again? I said, no, No,
I've left for the urine sample, so you have I thought.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I thought, drink it and then spit it all over.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
No, I would never do that. That's hard, cool man,
I love that.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
That'll get I'll tell you right now.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
That's a clip.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Remember we were up at Jimmy Barnes and heard one
tell Remember Jimmy Barnes's farm that time over New Year's
and you fell into one bad hole.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
That's right, that's right. We're looking for us. Snoop, do
one man, one man leave?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Okay, Matthew, your Matt's red hot question.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I read a question this week. Okay, listen closely. There
are ten doors. You can open one of the doors.
Whatever you open when you open one of the doors,
whatever's the contents behind the doors you can keep. Okay,
Now you can open the door a door, or you
can walk away. Behind nine of the ten doors, there's
(19:08):
eighty million dollars behind each of them. Behind one door
is a hungry line.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Hell hungry.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, I'm going to bite your face off. So ten doors,
eighty million dollars US? Or what behind nine doors? One
one door? There's a hungry line? Jack John's do you
open a door or do you walk away?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I open a door and then if there's a line,
I shut.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
It doesn't work that way, but now just the door
remains open. Okay, so what do you do Backso? Yeah,
I like those odds.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, okay, Yeah, I'm going to think nine out of
ten chances I could not live with myself if I
didn't open a door.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I literally could. I'd probably just end up. Maybe if
you open the door, you won't live at all.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, But is it toxic of me to think that
I would be able to withstand the lines attack?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Oh it's not toxic. It's not the word. It's basically
it's delusional.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Really, hope, if you use that word one more time,
toxic and all your other little cliches you've been throwing
out to me, I'm getting well.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
If you if you keep being narcissistic up there, then
Trisha was being really toxic and narcissistic last night, and I,
as a strong independent man, I stood up to her
and I said, hey, stop being narcissistic to dad.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
And she didn't like that.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
And you know what, You've got to stop misogynists, Cooper,
it's been so sociopathic.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Well if I I you know what, depending on where
I am in my life and how I'm feeling, I
think I'll open it because sometimes maybe I just want
to be attacked by the line.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
It started with self pity, it finishes with self pity.
Have a great week, everyone about you. I'll open I'll
have a crack.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
You'll have a crack.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, I love your meter is so like, Yeah, I
think it would you. He might choke on a while,
he might choke on your two pay and get a
fur ball.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Well, there we go, people, as I just give my
beautiful dog Charlie a bowl of water.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Charlie.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
People, how you enjoyed that? Getting your little fixed with
The John's Family Podcast. Take it easy, look after each
other all spread you next week
Hey, people, how you doing. It's Matthew. John's here and
people got Christmas coming up? Holidays. Have about your little
taste at the Best of the John's Family Podcast. Let's
chat about some of our stories goings on through the week.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Matthew.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Actually I wanted to ask you, speaking of personal stories
through the week, there was some vision shown of you
salsa dancing at the CALLERID.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yes, there was. Yes, we went down myself. Well you
were there, Jackie, yourself, Cooper, our neighbor Maty O'Brien. We
went down and you'd left just before it. But halftime
in the football happened and I looked over at the
Coloroid and they do salsa. I've been wanting to do that, Yeah,
every Friday night. Friday night. So I thought, you know what,
I'd slip over there quietly and just join. And so
(00:48):
so I'm doing it. I must say. The hips were
moving beautifully in the anyway. I turned around and said,
that's enough, go back, turned around and Cooper's filming me.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The Coloro is not five word. The Coloroi is not
a big enough place for you to go. You literally
walked maybe ten meters away from our table, sort of
ducked around the corner and just jumped in and tried
to start dancing. And if well, Frankie's going to put
the footage with up on YouTube with us so you
can see he was. He was out of time, nearly
bumping into the people in front of him around him.
(01:22):
And to think that you were going to get away
with it without me trying to get footage of.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
You is a gup.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I'm going to question. I didn't see it because I've
been in zen world without any phones or technology. Coops.
Is it just like every other I think I can
imagine it.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Is we that shuffley thing?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Is that what it was?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
It's just like it's almost like yeah, or did he
even try and do like that?
Speaker 5 (01:44):
He's kind of just like getting the hands.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
And doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Something about Matthew and all he's dancing.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
He has really lazy wrists, always laz Yeah, you have
lazy wrists, so you'll be doing what you would do,
but just just flop outs like t Rex t Rex arms,
Richie arms.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I like bulldog Bulldogs three sixties on tonight. He's a
Jerry on there he is. That's so nice Jerry raffiy Okay,
that's one thing. I will say this too. If I
have look at the show Trush they were giving it
to me on the show Flat showed it and then
they asked me to get a member. I got a
lady up out of the audience and we were sorcering
(02:25):
together on the show, and I must say I went
back and had to look at it. I was moving
pretty fly.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Really yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, now the other one through, that one's okay. I'll
take that one right. Yesterday, Jack and I went and
had a game of tennis together and Jack won the
first set but with my racket. But from there I
just absolutely schooled him. I was on fire. I win
the next three sets right. But then all of a sudden,
(02:52):
as we move into the next set, which I eventually won,
I've been on fire all day. Drop shots, you know,
sitting at the back, just bush shooting down the line.
I get there and Jack does. Jack knocks it up,
and here's my chance for the big smash volley, and
for whatever reason, I completely miss it. Nearly fall over,
(03:12):
turn around, and this asshole is filming me, didn't film
any of the good stuff because he wasn't there. It
turns up I turned up and that was the first
thing I saw and dads that blow it, Dad blow
it like it was funny to blow up, but it was.
It came from a place because it was like three
nights after this Coloro salsa dancing. He came over and
he was swinging his racket and he was going, you asshole,
(03:33):
every time I turn around, do some embarrassing. You're filming me.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Learn from this?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, yeah, he was funny. Be better.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Matte Cooper was there when you boys after he's won
the comp, not that you won the comp, the Melbourne Yeah,
Melbourne boy, he's won the comp. In twenty twenty when
we were in towns date you guys went away, Where
(04:02):
were you guys staying somewhere out in the bush, wasn't
it was?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
No? That was it was you were staying at.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
You stayed with me?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah, but you disappeared one night, wasn't it.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I probably went to a.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
House, went to a house party.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, but it was like in the deep in there
was deep in the woods. It was like a what
do you call them hippies cult? Yes, it was like
a group of it was like a hostel, a cult cultivating.
We went to this hostel deep in the valleys of
Byron Bay. It took about half an hour to get there.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Was a little mate, Connor Watson with you.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Conna Watson was their little utility king. And we walked
in and everyone was dressed like kicking Hacki sacks and
drinking red wine, playing the bongos right, and we were
all dressed in like gene like ripped jet like. We
looked like we were from the two thousands. They looked
like they were just left La Llapalooza in the seventies.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, so we've stuck out and you're only allowed to
be at this party if you live in the hostel,
if you live at the area, because they all live
in tents and stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
It sounds like a cult. Yeah. It was very weird.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
And I remember Connor was like, hey, everyone.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Just be cool.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
We'll get that is kind of kind of just like
he's like, let's just be cool, and kind of walked in.
Good looking bloke, like wavy hair, far back hairline, and
he was walking through and he was like hey everyone,
and he was like drifting through and just sat up
like at this little table with like this old like
eighty year old guy and like this young girl. He
sat there, he was like, hey, started talking with him,
(05:26):
and that's right, he had Yeah, I'm trying to remember that.
I think it was like Keith, let's say his name
with Keith and Connor to start to allow us to
kind of fit into this area.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Keith.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
He went straight up to Keith and he goes, Keith,
I like your energy. I'm getting a vibe from you, Keith.
That's like we're supposed to meet here tonight. And Keith
goes Connor. I don't know what it is, but I
feel the exact same thing from you.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Really. Yeah, he knew exactly how to work him over
sue By and Bay. I go up there. Now it's strange.
Hippies used to be fun loving people. I've said this
numerous time in this podcast. Now there, now this are
quite angry and territorial even people. That's like people move
out to Barron Bay there for a week and suddenly
they feel like they're local. I went into and it's
one of the last domains of the asshole barista sometimes
(06:13):
going to a cafe and the other barist's thinking the
moved on.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Now it's the bart and it's the mixologist.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Well now, well, I went up there and walked into
a cafe. It was about eleven o'clock, so people that
have their had their breakfast and their coffees and whatnot.
I'm the only person in the place. I walk in
and there's a fella there with with a young lady
and I'm stilling the gop. I'm waiting, waiting, and they're
chatting and I'm waiting and the girl turned around sort
(06:40):
of looked at me, Oh, sorry, can we help you?
And I was like, yeah, could I get a just
cappuccino please? She went yep. Name? I went, Matt, m
A two. She goes, yep, I can spell. And I go, oh,
here we go. So now I'm standing there by myself.
I'm standing there. Anyway, they go and they missed the
(07:01):
coffee and old mate, the fellow stands there on the
only person shopping, goes Matt. Matt, and he's looking around.
I go, oh, sorry, right here, and just went like wow, wow,
m So you have a head. What are you trush?
(07:26):
Apart from Big Dog? Who would you which mascot would
you date?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Do you think I'm going to go with the West Tiger?
Oh he'd have a name?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah. Tim. Back in the day, when he.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Keep it simple.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Yeah, yeah, memorable.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I've got something for you as well. I was circling
news dot com before and I found a story about
this lady who she's covered in eight hundred tattoos and
she was kicked out of church, and I thought it
was very instant. She had a crucifix on her face,
and apparently she went in to the church and was singing,
and then the priest came up to her and said, oh,
(08:08):
you're singing too loud.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You need to leave.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
But now it's come out that apparently she was kicked
out because of her excess tattoo.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's come on? Does that? Does that give you what I.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Got told to be quite in church singing too?
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah? But you were singing give me your head out
loud in primary school? Really, I was singing too loud.
Of what song was it?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I don't know, like a religious one. Probably Lord of
the Dance.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I did like that.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I got quite into.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
But there's hundreds of people in the church. How loud
are you singing for like the priests and stuff?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Loud? Remember the old ladies when you're going to church?
And can I just make put something out there for
the listeners to have a look at bit of homework.
I want you to go on YouTube. Type in Dave
Edmonds Girl Girl's Talk on Countdown. Dave Edmonds Girls Talk
(09:09):
is the song on Countdown, just what we're talking about.
He's up doing a live performance on Countdown and there
is a woman who's a young girl who's side, who's
at the front, and she's singing that loud you can
barely heard Dave, and he's looking down at her laughing,
that's very good, it's very good. Well she's not seeing you. Well.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
The question I wanted to pose you from from that
story is it is it not? Is it unethical? Because
there's some nightclubs that won't let you and if you
have tattoos on your hands. I remember, like I was
out with Shandle one night in Brisbane and they wouldn't
let him in because he had tattoos on his hands.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Because I think that for any other reason, I think
get a shirt off as well.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
In Tokyo, there's a lot of that.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
In Tokyo.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
You couldn't go to the pool area. I couldn't go.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Yeah, where I was saying when I went a few
years back, couldn't go to the pool area if you
had like one of my mates had a I think
it was like a bird tattoo on his forearm, and
they said no. But apparently there's a close association with
the yakuza.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
It is all at all, It is all gang related.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, is that with it?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Should that be allowed?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I suppose that's the thing I was thinking, especialscriminated against people.
You know, I don't think so unless there's something wearing.
She's not the sixties. We're basically, you know, criminals and
criminals and.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Tattoos mean what? But the gang people know what they mean?
Do you know what I mean? It shouldn't be left
to hotels and and things.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Like that to know what they mean.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
I understand that.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
But you look at some of the blokes now on
the Northern beaches. They're covered in tats because they like
how it looked like blood. Cyland Pongo wouldn't be able
to get in anywhereff like little birds.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
He's got little pieces on him. That's that's. There's a
couple of different versions of tattoo, the homemade tattoos.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
They might be so secummy.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Friend, he only did a couple of them now. He
used to like get the little ones all over him.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
A lot of people are doing that now, down their
arms and things. They've just got little bits here and there.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I was going to get the crucifix on my face today.
I've got to cancel the Appointment's not going to let
me in the church? Was the point?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
When's the last week?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Any we're hanging on it?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
The last time you've been to church? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Yeah, you know what, I still want to go.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I went to a funeral three weeks ago. Thanks mate.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Your that is the like that doesn't count.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Maybe try Christmas and sure it does.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Seniors don't count?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Is going to church? Yeah it does? I'm fake the apologies,
my apologies.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
So when was the last time he took the communion?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I haven't taken the Eucharist. I haven't taken probably Christ
from probably twenty years.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
You only go for the red wine, don't you?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
The red wine? Red wine? Stick it the last time
I had to drink I went mate that peanut because
it takes more like it's blending body of Christ and
drink the blood of Christ. Is it pani or is
it a full bodied red.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
From the Hunter Valley?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Sure Jesus was delicious. So Jesus was from the Clothvale
be careful, Jesus our friend. The reason that I mean,
we can joke because Jesus, that's why he gave us
a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
It's what he gave us hands. Because you know people
people say sometimes that masturbating the sin, and I said, well,
God gave us a sex driving hands. That's what he
wanted this to do.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Is there anything else?
Speaker 4 (12:43):
One last bit? Okay, I like my quote. So the week,
Matt's not here to provide the good. But coover, did
we're watching the Bear? Have you watched that?
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Buzz I haven't.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
It's a very good show.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Good show, a good show. Do you cook?
Speaker 5 (12:56):
I'm a massive cook. I love That's why I'm going
to Harris Farm after this to get something.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
You'll enjoy the Bear.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I'm a bit of cook, my cooker, cook chef myself
and I actually have this segment called Recipe of the
Week going here for about.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Three three years and I've got nothing but hate for it.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
I love spicy food, I like spacy, love chili. Gosh,
I'd hate to follow you on the ship. She sure
behavior today?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Did you keep parenting if you're going to punish him?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
But I will.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
I'm not going to retire yet for another year or two.
I will square up with you in my newspaper. No,
I don't want I will square up.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I don't want a war of words.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
The Telegraph.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Okay. So we're watching the Bear the other day and
the Sun in it, it's talking about not being with
his mum, who loved very much as she passed. So
I asked Cooper, said, oh, would you like to be
with me when I die? And it goes to pen
so or what and he's like, oh, well, if it's
an earthquake. If it's an earthquake, no, because that means
(14:11):
I'm going to be there too, and I'm going to
die too, like very self preserving. Up has always been
self preserving. And I said, okay, well, what if I
got hit by the car and he goes only if
I was driving.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
A kid, I wouldn't want.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
To the only because I wouldn't want to lose anything
To merit point. Michael Floyd was an NFL player, so
this is my favorite one. He actually pulled up at
the traffic lights and then the traffic lights went through
(14:48):
two separate rotations and he didn't move. The cops pulled
up next to him and realized he'd fallen asleep at
the wheel with his mouth wide open. So they woke
him up and we're trying to get him to exit,
but he couldn't get out of the vehicle. So when
they breathalyzed him any blue like three times have a
limit or something like that.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Can I just say, I read that article about justin
timulate he has refused a breathalyzer. So in America you
apparently you can refuse. He didn't pass the sobrietary test,
which is where they get you to walk. It's a
whole different set of standards over there, but you can
refuse a breath liser. I don't think you can refuse
it here.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
No, you can, but you are charged.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
Okay, well he's being charged.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, okay, you can't. You can refuse, but you'll.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Be charge automatically. There's the assumption that you'll.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Get there and said no, come on, blow into it,
and they'll no, And I can't. I can't say if
you don't do it, we're going to charge you.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Well, that's the same with like drug testing asata in
the NL or any sport. If you if you say
you can say no, but then you're instantly guilty.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Is it the assumption that then you are, there's assumption that.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
There is something in your piss anymore?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
The last one, that's how they can catch you if
you run.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
There was a story about one player that did run,
ran over the fence, ran over there.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
There was another story about a player who just continually
swam until until just because you like so, just kept swimming,
just kept swimming, sweating it out, pissing continually into the pool,
so that hopefully by the end of the day the
urine was all that little tip to the kids out there.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
The original one used to be when it first came out,
and the blood the drug testers didn't have to stand
in front of the athletes. So a lot of the
footballers back in the day they follow there and they
just have a swig of beer and just spit it
in there because because it wasn't just trying to cheat it,
what it was was a pain in the ass. You
get get you, you get to the end of ating,
you get to the end of eighty minutes and you're dehydrated,
(16:41):
and you got to you can stand there for an nowtris.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Honestly, I'd be standing out the front of the dressing
rooms waiting for him would be the last people there.
And Matt was still trying to peep after.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
A game too, like you're so dehydrated, it's so hard,
Like it has to be a certain pH as well.
You can't have a temperature, yeah, in temperature like it
has to now it's well, yeah, these and they look
at you, they look they just stare at you.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Old fellows looking at you, look at your old fellas.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
And the same old blake got me in just about
every single time. And my last ever game for the club,
I'm walking off the field and now until it was
the last training run ever before my last game, it
was a semi final, I didn't know what was going
to be a last game, but I thought this is
probably the last time ever going to be drug tested.
So I walked in anyway I needed. Until it was
(17:29):
only a training session, I urinated right to the top
of the glass and he was like, stop, that's enough, stop,
stop stop. I kept doing it and he we just
looked at each other and I said, you know what
I said. You have driven me mad for the last
six seven years. So now every time you do one
of these drug tests, you're going to think of me,
and I scowled the urine up until about the amount
(17:50):
that I had to learn, not yes, what it's a
well known story. I've told it numerous times.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
And he just stared at me, and then, when are
you going to have to do it again? I said, no, No,
I've left for the urine sample, so you have I thought.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I thought, drink it and then spit it all over.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
No, I would never do that. That's hard, cool man,
I love that.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
That'll get I'll tell you right now.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
That's a clip.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Remember we were up at Jimmy Barnes and heard one
tell Remember Jimmy Barnes's farm that time over New Year's
and you fell into one bad hole.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
That's right, that's right. We're looking for us. Snoop, do
one man, one man leave?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Okay, Matthew, your Matt's red hot question.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I read a question this week. Okay, listen closely. There
are ten doors. You can open one of the doors.
Whatever you open when you open one of the doors,
whatever's the contents behind the doors you can keep. Okay,
Now you can open the door a door, or you
can walk away. Behind nine of the ten doors, there's
(19:08):
eighty million dollars behind each of them. Behind one door
is a hungry line.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Hell hungry.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, I'm going to bite your face off. So ten doors,
eighty million dollars US? Or what behind nine doors? One
one door? There's a hungry line? Jack John's do you
open a door or do you walk away?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I open a door and then if there's a line,
I shut.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
It doesn't work that way, but now just the door
remains open. Okay, so what do you do Backso? Yeah,
I like those odds.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, okay, Yeah, I'm going to think nine out of
ten chances I could not live with myself if I
didn't open a door.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I literally could. I'd probably just end up. Maybe if
you open the door, you won't live at all.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, But is it toxic of me to think that
I would be able to withstand the lines attack?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Oh it's not toxic. It's not the word. It's basically
it's delusional.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Really, hope, if you use that word one more time,
toxic and all your other little cliches you've been throwing
out to me, I'm getting well.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
If you if you keep being narcissistic up there, then
Trisha was being really toxic and narcissistic last night, and I,
as a strong independent man, I stood up to her
and I said, hey, stop being narcissistic to dad.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
And she didn't like that.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
And you know what, You've got to stop misogynists, Cooper,
it's been so sociopathic.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Well if I I you know what, depending on where
I am in my life and how I'm feeling, I
think I'll open it because sometimes maybe I just want
to be attacked by the line.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
It started with self pity, it finishes with self pity.
Have a great week, everyone about you. I'll open I'll
have a crack.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
You'll have a crack.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, I love your meter is so like, Yeah, I
think it would you. He might choke on a while,
he might choke on your two pay and get a
fur ball.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Well, there we go, people, as I just give my
beautiful dog Charlie a bowl of water.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Charlie.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
People, how you enjoyed that? Getting your little fixed with
The John's Family Podcast. Take it easy, look after each
other all spread you next week
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