February 22, 2024 • 14 mins
In the episode titled "Bagel," the gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig, meet Engineer- who calls Rufus 'Bagel.'
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natty Bumpercar (00:08):
All right. Hey, how does work for the podcast
like in normal life? If you'renear someone and then they yawn,
then for some reason, I don'tknow what you but you yawn as
well. I do. I don't know if youdo. I think you do. Do you? Why
(00:29):
is that? It's like a yawnresponse. Like, why are we why
are we triggered? I'm just I'mglad doesn't happen when we
sneeze, like one person sneezes,and then the whole table
sneezing? That'd be terrible.But yawning, that's weird to
like, why? Anyway, I apologize.I didn't mean to yawn. This is
(00:49):
Natty Bumpercar. And this is abumper podcast I I had been out
and about and I, you know, I'm,I'm working on the show here. Go
into the different the differentcountries where the bumper
podcast is on the charts. It'sactually we were we've made it
(01:12):
to the charts. And, you know,talking to people, oh, they
said, you need a theme song.Gotta go get a theme song. I was
just like, ah, we okay, we'llget a theme song. And then
they're like, you know, you gotto do everybody don't have an
opinion, you know what you gotto do? And I was just like, I
don't know, what's, what am Isupposed to do? And then they
(01:33):
tell me all these things. And I,at some point, while they're
speaking, my eyes kind of glazeover. And my brain goes to
another place. And if I'm to becompletely honest, I don't know
what they've said to me. But I'msure they've given me great
advice. And then I feel guilty,because these people have given
(01:54):
their time to try to tell me,you know, get to help me to tell
me what to do. And then I don'teven listen. How ungrateful is
that? Tremendously ungrateful?Huh? Well, else is going on.
I've been working on therailroad, like, Oh, my live long
days. But mostly, I've beenworking on the railroad, just
(02:18):
just to pass the time away.Because I'm not busy enough. I I
like to I like to I have atherapist, I was talking to my
therapist about. She said, Youseem overwhelmed. seem like
you're taking too much stuff onI was just like, Yeah. And she's
like, but you I know you like todo that. And you told me that,
(02:39):
you know, as long as you'refeeling okay, then that's okay.
Are you feeling okay? And I waslike, No. And so then she was
like, well, then you need totake some stuff off of your
plate, and stop doing as muchstuff. And I was just like,
Okay, that sounds good. Andpractice, those are good words,
(03:02):
have no idea how to actuallymake that happen. And then she
said, Well, your session isover, and come back in a couple
of weeks. And by that time,either, you will have figured it
out. Or we can work on it then,or knowing you, you're probably
(03:24):
gonna start three more companiesand take on 16 more impossible
tasks. And I was just like, allright, that sounds like a
challenge. That's your it seemslike you're saying, Can you do
these things? And I'm going totell you right now, yes, I can.
I can. I can do all thosethings. And I'm here to tell you
(03:47):
a bumper podcast I've I'vesucceeded in doing that. I am
quite proud of myself. And Ifeel like you should be quite
proud of me as well. Because Ihave managed to, not only not
complete, not finish anyprojects, but I have managed to
actually take more projects on.It's very impressive. It's my
(04:13):
superpower. Really, if I had to,you know, figure that I have a
superpower I think it's going tobe that I just continually add
on to the pile it's almost likea weighted blanket. It's not you
know, it's like oh, the world isso nice and calm it's not but
(04:36):
you know, just for the sake ofthis relaxing the world of this
world. Oh spring its springagain. It's not Oh, look out.
The weather's beautiful and myI've had a nice meal again. You
don't haven't really eatentoday, but that's my fault.
There's not any reason otherthan me. Okay, Oh, perfect.
(04:58):
Everything great. Oh, Ah, youknow, and then you go, you know
what I'm going to do? I'm notgoing to take on all a lot of
projects, I'm going to take onthe appropriate amount of
projects, which is not becauselife itself is a project, taking
care of the kids having the jobtaking care of the dogs, these
(05:20):
are all projects, making surethat the car is working
properly, making sure that youknow, there's just there's in
life, there's this massive list,it seems of things you can't get
away from. And you know, thoseare big responsibility. And make
sure the kids brush their teeth.Did they? Do they floss their
(05:43):
teeth? Oh, I don't know. Look,that one's already asleep. How
do I get him to brush his teethwhen he's already asleep? So
then, why in the world? Would Igo and look for more things,
more responsibilities to add onto the file? Now? I don't know.
I don't know. I mean, I'm, I'm,I'm asking you a question.
(06:05):
Because I don't know the answer.And I wish I did. Sometimes, I
think that what I do, and maybewe've talked about this before,
I honestly don't remember, and Iapologize for that. But what I
like to do is if I just keepadding more stuff on to my
weighted blanket of life, thenwell, I don't know what I think
(06:30):
is gonna happen with what endsup happening is the weighted
blanket gets so heavy with allthe responsibilities that I
can't move. And then you knowwhat I do? I sleep under the
weighted blanket, it's verywarm. I must say. The dogs love
it, because I'm not moving sothey can just curl right up to
me. I had no idea like, I've haddogs before, but I had no idea
(06:58):
how much the dogs that they'dlike to sleep. Like, that's all
they do really asleep. Allright, come for podcast. I don't
know if you've ever been in themiddle of recording a really
great episode of your podcast,which I understand is not what
we were doing a second agothere. But let's say that I was
(07:22):
recording a really good episodeof the podcast. And you know,
you're just really moving andyou're talking and you're saying
things and you're like, Yeah,this feels great. And then your
kid bursts in and says, Hey,stop talking to your computer.
And I'm just like, oh, thatreally, really boils it down,
(07:44):
doesn't it? That really hurts.Stop talking to your computer,
dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, Imean, in essence, that's all I'm
doing really is I'm talking. Imean, I'm looking at a computer.
I'm talking into a microphone.And, you know, I have I have
headphones on so that, you know,there's there's, you know,
(08:06):
there's a few things that aregoing on. But I felt like he had
gotten me good enough that therewas no reason for me to, to try
to retort to try to try to comeback. He had beaten me down as
only your children can. What wasI talking about? It is that's
(08:26):
the thing. This was yesterday.And now it's today. And I I
don't know. I? I wasn't ready toyou know, I yesterday, I ate
oatmeal for breakfast. Andtoday, I ate grits. grits are
just little tiny bits of corn.And there were some cheese in it
(08:47):
and some pepper and a little bitof garlic salt. If I'm to be
completely honest, maybe maybesome cheese, maybe maybe more
cheese than I intended. But youknow, that's how cheese works.
And they say how much cheesewould you like on this year,
like, keep going and then it'salways just a little bit more
(09:09):
than you anticipated or wanted.And that's fine. It's a good
problem to have. It's differentthan like gasoline in your car.
Right with cheese. They say howmuch do you get like, fill it
up? Keep going. Let's go. Andthey're like, What does fill it
up mean with cheese? And you'relike, I don't know, but we're on
(09:32):
this journey together. Let's seewhat happens. So you know, if
you do that at a gas station,you're filling your car up and
we're like, what did you What doyou want? You're like, fill it
up and they're like, Okay, noproblem and then they do and
then you know the little gashandle thing goes click one
because that means it's full.It's registered that the car is
full and gas and you're like,you know what, let's keep going
(09:55):
there. You can't because thenthe gas spills everywhere and
And then you know, it's a firehazard. Cheese, not so much. The
only hazard that Jesus is a funhazard
for maj hazard. I don't knowwhat it is. So anyway, you know,
(10:15):
I think I was saying somethingabout the dogs being lazy. I
don't know why I think that butI, this is kind of always on my
mind how lazy the dogs are, theonly time the dogs get up. And
this is nice of them is whenthey have to use the restroom,
which is what we call our backyard now because that's, you
(10:36):
know, what happens back there.It's it's, and they get up when
they when they're hungry. Andthey get up to, to bark,
sometimes to shake, you know, alot of shaking going on. Little
ear scratching, that's gonnait's gonna happen probably two
(10:56):
or three in the morning. Whichis I think why they sleep all
the time. I think the dogs sleepall the time, because they don't
just sleep through the night.And they don't let me sleep
through the night. And I thinkthat the message they're trying
to tell me is, hey, you knowwhat, why don't you just hop on
our schedule here and curl upinto a ball, find one ray of
(11:22):
sunshine, curl up in that littleray of sunshine, and pretend
that it's really warming you up?It's not, but you can pretend it
is. My assumption is that mydogs have very good imagination,
and that they can really, you'relike, Yep, this is it's woof,
(11:42):
the sun is really giving it tome here. It's kind of like when
the door opens. And there's acouple of birds in the backyard.
And they run over to what I canonly assume is to talk to the
birds. Let them know hey, what'sgoing on? I haven't seen in a
while ah, spring is coming up.But then do the birds always fly
off because they don't want anypart of that conversation.
(12:04):
Right? I don't know. I wouldlove to have that conversation.
I would love for spring to behere. Because you know what
happens when when spring rollsaround? Well, I get to sleep
better because the time changeis nice. There's sun and there's
vitamins. And the most importantthing of all, and I think you're
gonna agree with me then thisthing here but Bob louder is
(12:27):
that there's a lot of cheese
Outro (12:42):
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp
with Natty Bumpercar and some ofhis pals. It is family friendly,
clean and ridiculous. Thanks abundle for listening. If you
love our show, and you'd like tohelp support the podcast, check
out our Patreon page at httpscolon forward slash forward
slash www.patreon.com forwardslash Natty Bumpercar also
(13:08):
pretty please subscribe whereveryou get your podcasts, share it
with everyone everywhere. postabout it on all of the social
medias or leave a rating andreview. The bumper podcast is
produced at headquarters incoffee Ken alley. It's recorded
mixed and produced by producer.The bumper podcast features
contributions from Aloysius jpgRufus T Rufus doodle poodle,
(13:33):
robot trunks and a gaggle ofother silly rascals. Our head
talker is probably NattyBumpercar. We also have an
absurd newsletter. Check it outand subscribe at Natty
bumpercar.com/subscribe Also,you can follow me on Instagram
and Twitter at Natty BumpercarHugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro (14:01):
This has been a non productive media presentation,
executive producer Frank Blaue.This program and many others
like it on the nonproductivenetwork is distributed under a
Creative Commons Attribution noncommercial no derivatives
license. Please share it but askbefore trying to change it or
sell it. For more informationvisit non dash productive.com
All right. Hey, how does work for the podcast
like in normal life? If you'renear someone and then they yawn,
then for some reason, I don'tknow what you but you yawn as
well. I do. I don't know if youdo. I think you do. Do you? Why
(00:29):
is that? It's like a yawnresponse. Like, why are we why
are we triggered? I'm just I'mglad doesn't happen when we
sneeze, like one person sneezes,and then the whole table
sneezing? That'd be terrible.But yawning, that's weird to
like, why? Anyway, I apologize.I didn't mean to yawn. This is
(00:49):
Natty Bumpercar. And this is abumper podcast I I had been out
and about and I, you know, I'm,I'm working on the show here. Go
into the different the differentcountries where the bumper
podcast is on the charts. It'sactually we were we've made it
(01:12):
to the charts. And, you know,talking to people, oh, they
said, you need a theme song.Gotta go get a theme song. I was
just like, ah, we okay, we'llget a theme song. And then
they're like, you know, you gotto do everybody don't have an
opinion, you know what you gotto do? And I was just like, I
don't know, what's, what am Isupposed to do? And then they
(01:33):
tell me all these things. And I,at some point, while they're
speaking, my eyes kind of glazeover. And my brain goes to
another place. And if I'm to becompletely honest, I don't know
what they've said to me. But I'msure they've given me great
advice. And then I feel guilty,because these people have given
(01:54):
their time to try to tell me,you know, get to help me to tell
me what to do. And then I don'teven listen. How ungrateful is
that? Tremendously ungrateful?Huh? Well, else is going on.
I've been working on therailroad, like, Oh, my live long
days. But mostly, I've beenworking on the railroad, just
(02:18):
just to pass the time away.Because I'm not busy enough. I I
like to I like to I have atherapist, I was talking to my
therapist about. She said, Youseem overwhelmed. seem like
you're taking too much stuff onI was just like, Yeah. And she's
like, but you I know you like todo that. And you told me that,
(02:39):
you know, as long as you'refeeling okay, then that's okay.
Are you feeling okay? And I waslike, No. And so then she was
like, well, then you need totake some stuff off of your
plate, and stop doing as muchstuff. And I was just like,
Okay, that sounds good. Andpractice, those are good words,
(03:02):
have no idea how to actuallymake that happen. And then she
said, Well, your session isover, and come back in a couple
of weeks. And by that time,either, you will have figured it
out. Or we can work on it then,or knowing you, you're probably
(03:24):
gonna start three more companiesand take on 16 more impossible
tasks. And I was just like, allright, that sounds like a
challenge. That's your it seemslike you're saying, Can you do
these things? And I'm going totell you right now, yes, I can.
I can. I can do all thosethings. And I'm here to tell you
(03:47):
a bumper podcast I've I'vesucceeded in doing that. I am
quite proud of myself. And Ifeel like you should be quite
proud of me as well. Because Ihave managed to, not only not
complete, not finish anyprojects, but I have managed to
actually take more projects on.It's very impressive. It's my
(04:13):
superpower. Really, if I had to,you know, figure that I have a
superpower I think it's going tobe that I just continually add
on to the pile it's almost likea weighted blanket. It's not you
know, it's like oh, the world isso nice and calm it's not but
(04:36):
you know, just for the sake ofthis relaxing the world of this
world. Oh spring its springagain. It's not Oh, look out.
The weather's beautiful and myI've had a nice meal again. You
don't haven't really eatentoday, but that's my fault.
There's not any reason otherthan me. Okay, Oh, perfect.
(04:58):
Everything great. Oh, Ah, youknow, and then you go, you know
what I'm going to do? I'm notgoing to take on all a lot of
projects, I'm going to take onthe appropriate amount of
projects, which is not becauselife itself is a project, taking
care of the kids having the jobtaking care of the dogs, these
(05:20):
are all projects, making surethat the car is working
properly, making sure that youknow, there's just there's in
life, there's this massive list,it seems of things you can't get
away from. And you know, thoseare big responsibility. And make
sure the kids brush their teeth.Did they? Do they floss their
(05:43):
teeth? Oh, I don't know. Look,that one's already asleep. How
do I get him to brush his teethwhen he's already asleep? So
then, why in the world? Would Igo and look for more things,
more responsibilities to add onto the file? Now? I don't know.
I don't know. I mean, I'm, I'm,I'm asking you a question.
(06:05):
Because I don't know the answer.And I wish I did. Sometimes, I
think that what I do, and maybewe've talked about this before,
I honestly don't remember, and Iapologize for that. But what I
like to do is if I just keepadding more stuff on to my
weighted blanket of life, thenwell, I don't know what I think
(06:30):
is gonna happen with what endsup happening is the weighted
blanket gets so heavy with allthe responsibilities that I
can't move. And then you knowwhat I do? I sleep under the
weighted blanket, it's verywarm. I must say. The dogs love
it, because I'm not moving sothey can just curl right up to
me. I had no idea like, I've haddogs before, but I had no idea
(06:58):
how much the dogs that they'dlike to sleep. Like, that's all
they do really asleep. Allright, come for podcast. I don't
know if you've ever been in themiddle of recording a really
great episode of your podcast,which I understand is not what
we were doing a second agothere. But let's say that I was
(07:22):
recording a really good episodeof the podcast. And you know,
you're just really moving andyou're talking and you're saying
things and you're like, Yeah,this feels great. And then your
kid bursts in and says, Hey,stop talking to your computer.
And I'm just like, oh, thatreally, really boils it down,
(07:44):
doesn't it? That really hurts.Stop talking to your computer,
dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, Imean, in essence, that's all I'm
doing really is I'm talking. Imean, I'm looking at a computer.
I'm talking into a microphone.And, you know, I have I have
headphones on so that, you know,there's there's, you know,
(08:06):
there's a few things that aregoing on. But I felt like he had
gotten me good enough that therewas no reason for me to, to try
to retort to try to try to comeback. He had beaten me down as
only your children can. What wasI talking about? It is that's
(08:26):
the thing. This was yesterday.And now it's today. And I I
don't know. I? I wasn't ready toyou know, I yesterday, I ate
oatmeal for breakfast. Andtoday, I ate grits. grits are
just little tiny bits of corn.And there were some cheese in it
(08:47):
and some pepper and a little bitof garlic salt. If I'm to be
completely honest, maybe maybesome cheese, maybe maybe more
cheese than I intended. But youknow, that's how cheese works.
And they say how much cheesewould you like on this year,
like, keep going and then it'salways just a little bit more
(09:09):
than you anticipated or wanted.And that's fine. It's a good
problem to have. It's differentthan like gasoline in your car.
Right with cheese. They say howmuch do you get like, fill it
up? Keep going. Let's go. Andthey're like, What does fill it
up mean with cheese? And you'relike, I don't know, but we're on
(09:32):
this journey together. Let's seewhat happens. So you know, if
you do that at a gas station,you're filling your car up and
we're like, what did you What doyou want? You're like, fill it
up and they're like, Okay, noproblem and then they do and
then you know the little gashandle thing goes click one
because that means it's full.It's registered that the car is
full and gas and you're like,you know what, let's keep going
(09:55):
there. You can't because thenthe gas spills everywhere and
And then you know, it's a firehazard. Cheese, not so much. The
only hazard that Jesus is a funhazard
for maj hazard. I don't knowwhat it is. So anyway, you know,
(10:15):
I think I was saying somethingabout the dogs being lazy. I
don't know why I think that butI, this is kind of always on my
mind how lazy the dogs are, theonly time the dogs get up. And
this is nice of them is whenthey have to use the restroom,
which is what we call our backyard now because that's, you
(10:36):
know, what happens back there.It's it's, and they get up when
they when they're hungry. Andthey get up to, to bark,
sometimes to shake, you know, alot of shaking going on. Little
ear scratching, that's gonnait's gonna happen probably two
(10:56):
or three in the morning. Whichis I think why they sleep all
the time. I think the dogs sleepall the time, because they don't
just sleep through the night.And they don't let me sleep
through the night. And I thinkthat the message they're trying
to tell me is, hey, you knowwhat, why don't you just hop on
our schedule here and curl upinto a ball, find one ray of
(11:22):
sunshine, curl up in that littleray of sunshine, and pretend
that it's really warming you up?It's not, but you can pretend it
is. My assumption is that mydogs have very good imagination,
and that they can really, you'relike, Yep, this is it's woof,
(11:42):
the sun is really giving it tome here. It's kind of like when
the door opens. And there's acouple of birds in the backyard.
And they run over to what I canonly assume is to talk to the
birds. Let them know hey, what'sgoing on? I haven't seen in a
while ah, spring is coming up.But then do the birds always fly
off because they don't want anypart of that conversation.
(12:04):
Right? I don't know. I wouldlove to have that conversation.
I would love for spring to behere. Because you know what
happens when when spring rollsaround? Well, I get to sleep
better because the time changeis nice. There's sun and there's
vitamins. And the most importantthing of all, and I think you're
gonna agree with me then thisthing here but Bob louder is
(12:27):
that there's a lot of cheese
Outro (12:42):
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp
with Natty Bumpercar and some ofhis pals. It is family friendly,
clean and ridiculous. Thanks abundle for listening. If you
love our show, and you'd like tohelp support the podcast, check
out our Patreon page at httpscolon forward slash forward
slash www.patreon.com forwardslash Natty Bumpercar also
(13:08):
pretty please subscribe whereveryou get your podcasts, share it
with everyone everywhere. postabout it on all of the social
medias or leave a rating andreview. The bumper podcast is
produced at headquarters incoffee Ken alley. It's recorded
mixed and produced by producer.The bumper podcast features
contributions from Aloysius jpgRufus T Rufus doodle poodle,
(13:33):
robot trunks and a gaggle ofother silly rascals. Our head
talker is probably NattyBumpercar. We also have an
absurd newsletter. Check it outand subscribe at Natty
bumpercar.com/subscribe Also,you can follow me on Instagram
and Twitter at Natty BumpercarHugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro (14:01):
This has been a non productive media presentation,
executive producer Frank Blaue.This program and many others
like it on the nonproductivenetwork is distributed under a
Creative Commons Attribution noncommercial no derivatives
license. Please share it but askbefore trying to change it or
sell it. For more informationvisit non dash productive.com
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