February 9, 2024 • 14 mins
In the episode titled "Bagel," the gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig, meet Engineer- who calls Rufus 'Bagel.'
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Aloysius J. Pig (00:00):
Oh no, yes. So all I'm saying is he he's a
(00:10):
problem, right? So if he's gonnabe a problem, and then we got to
change the name of the showassumptive
Producer (00:18):
it's not like I don't not this Gree don't not dis
agree. don't notice. Yes, it'slettered. Don't not disagree,
however, you know,
Rufus T. Rufus (00:32):
yeah. Now so this is Rufus T Rufus. Now as a
lawyer around here, once westart throwing out double
negatives and triple negatives,as it were, you understand with
don't being the first one therenot being the second one, that's
it and don't and I'm not goingto cancel each other out. And
(00:55):
then the disagree, I think isgoing to be your third negative,
so that's a triple negative,which I think is going to bring
us back into the fold of beingnegative. And
Aloysius J. Pig (01:08):
now, I just simply got a sticks of the
matter at hand and
Rufus T. Rufus (01:11):
I understand I'm just trying to keep it straight
from a legalese point of view.Yeah, well, nobody
Aloysius J. Pig (01:16):
really cares about the legalese point of view
at the moment because I think ofwhat trying to figure out is a
bigger issue here, right?
Producer (01:23):
Yes. So I totally don't not agree with you.
Aloysius J. Pig (01:28):
Stop it. Nobody answered.
Producer (01:33):
I just got caught up in the whole thing, you know,
yeah, I
Aloysius J. Pig (01:36):
know. It's what tends to happen whenever we talk
to always some chip a jab abouta bunch of a Hootenanny, you
know and what we're trying to dohere is really focus and my
thing is bumped again around parecording podcast, he ate them
recording podcasts. It's I don'teven know when, and I don't get
(01:59):
paid unless I make the podcast.So I'm around right. And I need
to eat. I'm a pig who likes toeat food. Okay. Yeah, no,
Rufus T. Rufus (02:10):
I was interested in Allah, which is I'm also I'm
not a pig, you understand. But Iam someone who does enjoy the
food and George eaten, you know,and I hadn't been reminiscing a
little bit back when I was ayoung before I was ever lawyers.
Now when I was just in shortpants, and I was walking around
(02:33):
by the creaky understanding.There was a little a little a
little shack there. And it was asnack shack, they called it and
I would go on up to the snackshack and to the managers thing
was Jack, I think was calledJack's Snack Shack. And I would
I would go in and I would perusethe aisles. There's really only
(02:54):
one aisle and I would I wouldperuse it up and down, left and
right. And I would pick out myfavorite food in the whole wide
world.
Aloysius J. Pig (03:04):
You got me hooked. I want to know what's
your favorite food and why?Well, it is but then we got to
get back to the real thing. ButI'm, I'm intrigued by the whole
Crick and whatever you got goingon there. Tell me tell me tell
me. Yeah.
Producer (03:15):
Okay.
Rufus T. Rufus (03:16):
Well, what I would find is that Jack's snack
check is they had it was it wasdry rolled oats. And it would
come in a little packet andlittle little sack there. And
then we'd get a little applejuice. So some oats and some
(03:38):
apples. Sometimes, I might needto cover the two as well. And
we'll
Aloysius J. Pig (03:43):
visit I don't want to get posted. I don't want
to get to your business, but iAre you a horse. That's what you
just described as basically thesnack of a horse like you're
gonna go in, or it's lovely,lovely notes. They love eating
carrots, and they love apples.So that to me, I don't know if
they drink apple juice or ifthose things it's like, Oh, I'll
Rufus T. Rufus (04:02):
eat an apple. But I want an apple sauce or
they will need apple juice. ButI will eat apples and you're
like buddy, it's the same thing.I read it's just in a different
package. All right,
Producer (04:11):
so hold on a second. So I'm looking it up on all of
the and all of the internet'severy single one. And I am not
finding Jack's Snack Shack downby the creek. But I am finding a
Jack's Snack Shack. That's wayback you understand? I don't get
(04:33):
this other part of town I thinkand it's got wonderful reviews.
Maybe we should take a fieldtrip out there one day. You know
Rufus T. Rufus (04:41):
not to burst your bubble producer and I do
appreciate to do research on thefly live.
Producer (04:47):
Oh, how do I love eating fries that are my
favorite food and you know we'retalking about it. Yeah,
Aloysius J. Pig (04:54):
we're not talking about it. We just want
to figure out whatever Rufus istalking about, but Okay, thanks
for the info
Rufus T. Rufus (05:00):
As I was, as I was saying, now the jack snack
shack that they have listedthere, that's way out back that
is not actually affiliated withJack Snack Shack that's done by
the crikey that so that one iscloser to the tracks you
understand. So it's Jack SnackShack that's done by the tracks.
(05:20):
And what had happened was Jack,the proprietor had opened up his
snack shack down by the tracksnear the creek. And that's the
one that everybody went to.That's the one everybody knows
that's where the reputation wasbuilt. And lo and behold, Jack
had a cousin. Also watch this henamed John but they called
(05:46):
himself jack. So Jack number twomoves into town sees how well
Jack Snack Shack is doing andthe good reputation that has and
proceeds to go out back and openhimself up his own snack shack.
So what I'm saying is uh, JackSnack Shack. Whaleback is back.
(06:07):
Alright, wait
Aloysius J. Pig (06:07):
a minute, wait a minute. You don't want to
detract from Jack's Snack Shackway out bag, or else he might
come on over here and give you asmack is what I've heard about
that guy. Okay. Yeah,
Producer (06:18):
no, I've heard the same thing where Jack Snack
Shack from way back does nothave any kind of are locked,
forgiving snacks. In fact, hehas a knack for giving stocks
upon stacks upon stacks uponsnacks. And you might have to
(06:39):
get out of town and you're youknow,
Rufus T. Rufus (06:43):
it is took terrible turns everything since
doing this podcast. You know,we're just chit chatting and
having a little bit of fun. Andthen I don't know everything
goes looped in Lou and I justfelt like you were forcing there
you were, you know, just pushinga little bit harder than you
needed to. I thought we had agood premise and we you know, we
(07:04):
could have written at home butstopped. Know,
Aloysius J. Pig (07:08):
I don't even know what do I agree that it was
terrible. But what I'm gonna dois I'm gonna give producer and A
for effort, or is it E foreffort? Because even that's not
a letter grade, is it? E foreffort? is T for nice? Try E for
effort. And t is not. I don'tknow what we're doing because
(07:29):
that's these aren't lettergrades. It's a, b, c, d, e, f,
when E is not in there. A, B, C,I got a D? Oh no, I got an F on
my test. What's in E? Is that?Like, where does How do I get an
E? I would like to get an E Ithink it's better than an AF
it's one better than an F oneless better than a D? Yeah. So
Producer (07:53):
when I was in front school, we didn't have all of
those letters, the a's and theb's or whatever. We had an s
which was the first sentence offactory and we have an in which
was for that needs to be moresatisfactory. I think it needs
improvement. What are we talkingabout that needs improvement? Or
(08:16):
the sound Can you not hear whatare you talking about? I
Aloysius J. Pig (08:18):
think he was saying your ass was was
satisfactory. And then you're inwas it it was an end was put
needs improvement is as opposedto needs more satisfied. You
know? I don't can we that? Thishas gotten me my head all in a
jumble here. I got this dudeover here. Who's eaten like a
(08:42):
horse lunch? Oats and carrotsand you're in applesauce.
Rufus T. Rufus (08:49):
And would you use the I
Aloysius J. Pig (08:51):
know you don't like applesauce. Yeah, no.
Rufus T. Rufus (08:53):
Fun. What was it? You had some sort of a bug
in your bonnet before when wefirst started talking, but we
all came into the room. And Idon't I don't have I don't
remember that was minutes agoand I don't have any idea what
we was talking about initially.And so if anybody wants to
refresh my memory if I'm to behonest, my blood sugar's a
(09:16):
little bit low because I hadn'thad a chance to have a snack
even really a little bit of alunch today I'm I'm feeling a
little bit peckish if you knowif you know what that means.
Aloysius J. Pig (09:28):
I'm worried because when you said peckish,
they know that you're like Ithink chickens they pack right
they pack pack pack pack packtheir food, so there's peckish
have anything to do with do youwant to eat some boats? C D?
Well, I don't know what elseBardsey the birds eat other
thing No, yes,
Producer (09:46):
absolutely. Birds eat bugs and real worms. True. I
Aloysius J. Pig (09:50):
had no idea so I find that to be unsettling,
rather disgusting.
Producer (09:56):
I don't know why you know you don't have to eat it
eat the bird says He wants toeat and if that's the meal that
the bird wants to have, then thebird could be able to have that.
I think you know, what is iteven impact you with the birds
eating? Why don't you just eatwhatever you want to eat? I
assume it's trash or slop orwhatever it is, you know,
because you're the pig.
Aloysius J. Pig (10:16):
Yeah. I don't eat trash. Thank you though for
falling into that pigstereotype. I eat you know,
delicious things is what I'mgonna say and I don't want to
get into it. I don't want to goany deeper. But I eat delicious
(10:36):
things
Rufus T. Rufus (10:39):
you know now I'm feeling like this little bit
strange lol Just because you'reover there making fun of my
snack which is a very healthysnack. My doctor agrees and
approves he says he's never seenanyone eat quite as as healthy
food as I do. And yet we'remaking fun of a little bit of
(11:01):
frog a whip producer for eatingflies. I mean, what else is he
gonna eat? You know? And then mesaying I'm pinkish and then
you're saying oh, what are youwith some sort of bird or
something? Come on now Allahwhich is not You're not even on
tell us what you eat. Like as Iwas supposed to make us feel
this isn't a team this isn't uscoming together and learning
(11:23):
about this is just you makingfun of everybody and making us
feel bad about ourselves. It'sjust doesn't feel appropriate.
Oh, right. Yeah, you see Yeah, Idon't want
Producer (11:35):
to you know, jump on through rupees is cut titles or
anything. But you know, thiswhole time it's like I don't
deny to disagree with him abouthim saying these things about
the food and you bet the makingfun of Annabelle or Lisa you
know stuff. So I'm seeing todayabout the flowers I am you know,
(11:58):
people look at me and they'relike, oh, brah heat floods and
I'm like
Aloysius J. Pig (12:04):
nobody cares. Okay, thank you, producer. I
apologize if I made fun. Anybodymakes anybody feel bad for
parable. But I remember when yousaid that don't not think that
brought me all the way back tothe beginning of the episode
when we were hauled don't notnot whatever. And I had a whole
point that I was trying to bringup with a chapter showed and we
got sidetracked as we often do.So here's what I actually wanted
(12:28):
to talk about Okay.
Outro (12:42):
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp
with Natty Bumpercar and some ofhis pals. It is family friendly,
clean and ridiculous. Thanks abundle for listening. If you
love our show, and you'd like tohelp support the podcast, check
out our Patreon page at httpscolon forward slash forward
slash www.patreon.com forwardslash Natty Bumpercar also
(13:08):
pretty please subscribe whereveryou get your podcasts, share it
with everyone everywhere. postabout it on all of the social
medias or leave a rating andreview. The bumper podcast is
produced at headquarters incoffee Ken alley. It's recorded
mixed and produced by producer.The bumper podcast features
contributions from Aloysius jpgRufus T Rufus doodle poodle,
(13:33):
robot trunks and a gaggle ofother silly rascals. Our head
talker is probably NattyBumpercar. We also have an
absurd newsletter. Check it outand subscribe at Natty
bumpercar.com/subscribe Also,you can follow me on Instagram
and Twitter at Natty BumpercarHugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro (14:01):
This has been a non productive media presentation,
executive producer Frank Blaue.This program and many others
like it on the nonproductivenetwork is distributed under a
Creative Commons Attribution noncommercial no derivatives
license, please share it but askbefore trying to change it or
sell it. For more informationvisit non dash productive.com
Oh no, yes. So all I'm saying is he he's a
(00:10):
problem, right? So if he's gonnabe a problem, and then we got to
change the name of the showassumptive
Producer (00:18):
it's not like I don't not this Gree don't not dis
agree. don't notice. Yes, it'slettered. Don't not disagree,
however, you know,
Rufus T. Rufus (00:32):
yeah. Now so this is Rufus T Rufus. Now as a
lawyer around here, once westart throwing out double
negatives and triple negatives,as it were, you understand with
don't being the first one therenot being the second one, that's
it and don't and I'm not goingto cancel each other out. And
(00:55):
then the disagree, I think isgoing to be your third negative,
so that's a triple negative,which I think is going to bring
us back into the fold of beingnegative. And
Aloysius J. Pig (01:08):
now, I just simply got a sticks of the
matter at hand and
Rufus T. Rufus (01:11):
I understand I'm just trying to keep it straight
from a legalese point of view.Yeah, well, nobody
Aloysius J. Pig (01:16):
really cares about the legalese point of view
at the moment because I think ofwhat trying to figure out is a
bigger issue here, right?
Producer (01:23):
Yes. So I totally don't not agree with you.
Aloysius J. Pig (01:28):
Stop it. Nobody answered.
Producer (01:33):
I just got caught up in the whole thing, you know,
yeah, I
Aloysius J. Pig (01:36):
know. It's what tends to happen whenever we talk
to always some chip a jab abouta bunch of a Hootenanny, you
know and what we're trying to dohere is really focus and my
thing is bumped again around parecording podcast, he ate them
recording podcasts. It's I don'teven know when, and I don't get
(01:59):
paid unless I make the podcast.So I'm around right. And I need
to eat. I'm a pig who likes toeat food. Okay. Yeah, no,
Rufus T. Rufus (02:10):
I was interested in Allah, which is I'm also I'm
not a pig, you understand. But Iam someone who does enjoy the
food and George eaten, you know,and I hadn't been reminiscing a
little bit back when I was ayoung before I was ever lawyers.
Now when I was just in shortpants, and I was walking around
(02:33):
by the creaky understanding.There was a little a little a
little shack there. And it was asnack shack, they called it and
I would go on up to the snackshack and to the managers thing
was Jack, I think was calledJack's Snack Shack. And I would
I would go in and I would perusethe aisles. There's really only
(02:54):
one aisle and I would I wouldperuse it up and down, left and
right. And I would pick out myfavorite food in the whole wide
world.
Aloysius J. Pig (03:04):
You got me hooked. I want to know what's
your favorite food and why?Well, it is but then we got to
get back to the real thing. ButI'm, I'm intrigued by the whole
Crick and whatever you got goingon there. Tell me tell me tell
me. Yeah.
Producer (03:15):
Okay.
Rufus T. Rufus (03:16):
Well, what I would find is that Jack's snack
check is they had it was it wasdry rolled oats. And it would
come in a little packet andlittle little sack there. And
then we'd get a little applejuice. So some oats and some
(03:38):
apples. Sometimes, I might needto cover the two as well. And
we'll
Aloysius J. Pig (03:43):
visit I don't want to get posted. I don't want
to get to your business, but iAre you a horse. That's what you
just described as basically thesnack of a horse like you're
gonna go in, or it's lovely,lovely notes. They love eating
carrots, and they love apples.So that to me, I don't know if
they drink apple juice or ifthose things it's like, Oh, I'll
Rufus T. Rufus (04:02):
eat an apple. But I want an apple sauce or
they will need apple juice. ButI will eat apples and you're
like buddy, it's the same thing.I read it's just in a different
package. All right,
Producer (04:11):
so hold on a second. So I'm looking it up on all of
the and all of the internet'severy single one. And I am not
finding Jack's Snack Shack downby the creek. But I am finding a
Jack's Snack Shack. That's wayback you understand? I don't get
(04:33):
this other part of town I thinkand it's got wonderful reviews.
Maybe we should take a fieldtrip out there one day. You know
Rufus T. Rufus (04:41):
not to burst your bubble producer and I do
appreciate to do research on thefly live.
Producer (04:47):
Oh, how do I love eating fries that are my
favorite food and you know we'retalking about it. Yeah,
Aloysius J. Pig (04:54):
we're not talking about it. We just want
to figure out whatever Rufus istalking about, but Okay, thanks
for the info
Rufus T. Rufus (05:00):
As I was, as I was saying, now the jack snack
shack that they have listedthere, that's way out back that
is not actually affiliated withJack Snack Shack that's done by
the crikey that so that one iscloser to the tracks you
understand. So it's Jack SnackShack that's done by the tracks.
(05:20):
And what had happened was Jack,the proprietor had opened up his
snack shack down by the tracksnear the creek. And that's the
one that everybody went to.That's the one everybody knows
that's where the reputation wasbuilt. And lo and behold, Jack
had a cousin. Also watch this henamed John but they called
(05:46):
himself jack. So Jack number twomoves into town sees how well
Jack Snack Shack is doing andthe good reputation that has and
proceeds to go out back and openhimself up his own snack shack.
So what I'm saying is uh, JackSnack Shack. Whaleback is back.
(06:07):
Alright, wait
Aloysius J. Pig (06:07):
a minute, wait a minute. You don't want to
detract from Jack's Snack Shackway out bag, or else he might
come on over here and give you asmack is what I've heard about
that guy. Okay. Yeah,
Producer (06:18):
no, I've heard the same thing where Jack Snack
Shack from way back does nothave any kind of are locked,
forgiving snacks. In fact, hehas a knack for giving stocks
upon stacks upon stacks uponsnacks. And you might have to
(06:39):
get out of town and you're youknow,
Rufus T. Rufus (06:43):
it is took terrible turns everything since
doing this podcast. You know,we're just chit chatting and
having a little bit of fun. Andthen I don't know everything
goes looped in Lou and I justfelt like you were forcing there
you were, you know, just pushinga little bit harder than you
needed to. I thought we had agood premise and we you know, we
(07:04):
could have written at home butstopped. Know,
Aloysius J. Pig (07:08):
I don't even know what do I agree that it was
terrible. But what I'm gonna dois I'm gonna give producer and A
for effort, or is it E foreffort? Because even that's not
a letter grade, is it? E foreffort? is T for nice? Try E for
effort. And t is not. I don'tknow what we're doing because
(07:29):
that's these aren't lettergrades. It's a, b, c, d, e, f,
when E is not in there. A, B, C,I got a D? Oh no, I got an F on
my test. What's in E? Is that?Like, where does How do I get an
E? I would like to get an E Ithink it's better than an AF
it's one better than an F oneless better than a D? Yeah. So
Producer (07:53):
when I was in front school, we didn't have all of
those letters, the a's and theb's or whatever. We had an s
which was the first sentence offactory and we have an in which
was for that needs to be moresatisfactory. I think it needs
improvement. What are we talkingabout that needs improvement? Or
(08:16):
the sound Can you not hear whatare you talking about? I
Aloysius J. Pig (08:18):
think he was saying your ass was was
satisfactory. And then you're inwas it it was an end was put
needs improvement is as opposedto needs more satisfied. You
know? I don't can we that? Thishas gotten me my head all in a
jumble here. I got this dudeover here. Who's eaten like a
(08:42):
horse lunch? Oats and carrotsand you're in applesauce.
Rufus T. Rufus (08:49):
And would you use the I
Aloysius J. Pig (08:51):
know you don't like applesauce. Yeah, no.
Rufus T. Rufus (08:53):
Fun. What was it? You had some sort of a bug
in your bonnet before when wefirst started talking, but we
all came into the room. And Idon't I don't have I don't
remember that was minutes agoand I don't have any idea what
we was talking about initially.And so if anybody wants to
refresh my memory if I'm to behonest, my blood sugar's a
(09:16):
little bit low because I hadn'thad a chance to have a snack
even really a little bit of alunch today I'm I'm feeling a
little bit peckish if you knowif you know what that means.
Aloysius J. Pig (09:28):
I'm worried because when you said peckish,
they know that you're like Ithink chickens they pack right
they pack pack pack pack packtheir food, so there's peckish
have anything to do with do youwant to eat some boats? C D?
Well, I don't know what elseBardsey the birds eat other
thing No, yes,
Producer (09:46):
absolutely. Birds eat bugs and real worms. True. I
Aloysius J. Pig (09:50):
had no idea so I find that to be unsettling,
rather disgusting.
Producer (09:56):
I don't know why you know you don't have to eat it
eat the bird says He wants toeat and if that's the meal that
the bird wants to have, then thebird could be able to have that.
I think you know, what is iteven impact you with the birds
eating? Why don't you just eatwhatever you want to eat? I
assume it's trash or slop orwhatever it is, you know,
because you're the pig.
Aloysius J. Pig (10:16):
Yeah. I don't eat trash. Thank you though for
falling into that pigstereotype. I eat you know,
delicious things is what I'mgonna say and I don't want to
get into it. I don't want to goany deeper. But I eat delicious
(10:36):
things
Rufus T. Rufus (10:39):
you know now I'm feeling like this little bit
strange lol Just because you'reover there making fun of my
snack which is a very healthysnack. My doctor agrees and
approves he says he's never seenanyone eat quite as as healthy
food as I do. And yet we'remaking fun of a little bit of
(11:01):
frog a whip producer for eatingflies. I mean, what else is he
gonna eat? You know? And then mesaying I'm pinkish and then
you're saying oh, what are youwith some sort of bird or
something? Come on now Allahwhich is not You're not even on
tell us what you eat. Like as Iwas supposed to make us feel
this isn't a team this isn't uscoming together and learning
(11:23):
about this is just you makingfun of everybody and making us
feel bad about ourselves. It'sjust doesn't feel appropriate.
Oh, right. Yeah, you see Yeah, Idon't want
Producer (11:35):
to you know, jump on through rupees is cut titles or
anything. But you know, thiswhole time it's like I don't
deny to disagree with him abouthim saying these things about
the food and you bet the makingfun of Annabelle or Lisa you
know stuff. So I'm seeing todayabout the flowers I am you know,
(11:58):
people look at me and they'relike, oh, brah heat floods and
I'm like
Aloysius J. Pig (12:04):
nobody cares. Okay, thank you, producer. I
apologize if I made fun. Anybodymakes anybody feel bad for
parable. But I remember when yousaid that don't not think that
brought me all the way back tothe beginning of the episode
when we were hauled don't notnot whatever. And I had a whole
point that I was trying to bringup with a chapter showed and we
got sidetracked as we often do.So here's what I actually wanted
(12:28):
to talk about Okay.
Outro (12:42):
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp
with Natty Bumpercar and some ofhis pals. It is family friendly,
clean and ridiculous. Thanks abundle for listening. If you
love our show, and you'd like tohelp support the podcast, check
out our Patreon page at httpscolon forward slash forward
slash www.patreon.com forwardslash Natty Bumpercar also
(13:08):
pretty please subscribe whereveryou get your podcasts, share it
with everyone everywhere. postabout it on all of the social
medias or leave a rating andreview. The bumper podcast is
produced at headquarters incoffee Ken alley. It's recorded
mixed and produced by producer.The bumper podcast features
contributions from Aloysius jpgRufus T Rufus doodle poodle,
(13:33):
robot trunks and a gaggle ofother silly rascals. Our head
talker is probably NattyBumpercar. We also have an
absurd newsletter. Check it outand subscribe at Natty
bumpercar.com/subscribe Also,you can follow me on Instagram
and Twitter at Natty BumpercarHugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro (14:01):
This has been a non productive media presentation,
executive producer Frank Blaue.This program and many others
like it on the nonproductivenetwork is distributed under a
Creative Commons Attribution noncommercial no derivatives
license, please share it but askbefore trying to change it or
sell it. For more informationvisit non dash productive.com
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.