I Died A Litttle Bit

In the episode titled "Bagel," the gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig, meet Engineer- who calls Rufus 'Bagel.'

Episode Transcript

Natty Bumpercar (00:00):
I'm so strange, so strange. So strange

(00:09):
yesterday, I kind of died alittle bit, which is I know a
strange way to start a podcast,especially the bumper podcast,
by the way. Hello, everyone.This is Natty Bumpercar. And
this is the bumper podcast, yourweekly jump into fun, Ray. And

(00:37):
so let's start it off with withthat yesterday. Well, first of
all, so I don't know whereanyone is here at the bumper
podcast. I haven't seen pig. Ihaven't seen Rufus. I haven't
seen producer and doodle poodle,anybody for weeks. And I come
in, and I just kind of click onrecord and it seems to be

(01:01):
working. I mean, the thing is,Do I even need producer? I don't
know, I honestly don't know. Butthat is not the question for
today. To question for today iswhat in the world happened
yesterday? What in the world?Well, I got up. And I took one

(01:22):
of the kids to school. And thenI came home back to headquarters
here. And I had a little sip ofwater because water is good for
you in the morning. And then theone of the other one of the kids
had left, like a little glass oforange juice on the table, and
not very much at all. But I waslike, oh, I'll just finish that.

(01:44):
Because as a parent, I'm avulture, and I just go and I
finish off whatever the food is,it's left around. And then I
went upstairs and I was gonna goback to bed because I was tired.
And it was Monday. And onMondays. Sometimes I pass out
because the weekends are so muchfun. That's what it is. I'm so

(02:06):
tired from all the fun thatweekends are. I used to love
weekends growing up. I rememberman, I'd be like, Oh, I can't
wait for the weekend.Everybody's everybody's working
for the weekend. Here we go.It's Saturday morning. Whoo. I'm
gonna sleep in and then I'mgonna do fun stuff. And now it's
just like, oh, no, no, as aparent, the weekends got in the

(02:28):
way it gets here. Oh, no. Andthen Monday comes in. I'm tired.
But so I got into bed. And myhands were weirdly itchy. Like,
I was like, What is going onhands? Why are you so itchy. And

(02:49):
they were kind of dry. And so Iwas like, alright, I'll just go,
you know, like, put some lotionon him. And that'll that'll fix
that. And then I started to feeland this was happening pretty
rapidly. My my lip was feelingkind of weird. And it's like,

(03:10):
All right, well, let's go checkit see. And so I went to the
bathroom, and I was I waslooking for the lotion, and then
I shut the mirror. That's whereit is. And I saw my face. And my
lip was gigantic, and purple.And my eyes like were swollen
almost to being shut and theywere bright red. And then not

(03:37):
only was the rest of my face,very swollen. But I noticed that
my tongue swollen, my throatswollen and the breathing. The
breathing was not good. And so II grabbed my rescue inhaler, and
I did the did that. Justhopefully I was like alright,

(04:01):
this will open up my airways.And then I was just like,
alright, calmly, calmly. Let'sfind the shoes. Let's make sure
we have all the stuff thewallet, the phone, the keys are
right. Where's the jacket?Perfect. Let's go downstairs.
Let's get to the car. Let's goto the closest urgent care and I

(04:22):
was doing this all as theeverything was getting much
worse. Like the breathing wasjust like and the like the
tongue it was. I don't I don'tlike tongues. I don't like to
talk about tongues. I thinkthey're weird and kind of gross.

(04:44):
But the tongue was a lot. It wasa lot more than it's supposed to
be. And I also I couldn't talkand so really just around the
corner not I would say maybe isthree quarters of a mile away
from the house is is an urgentcare. There's one that's closer,

(05:05):
which is a CVS, but I looked onthe thing and they were not open
yet. And so I went to the otherone. And at a light, there's two
lights in between my house inthis place. So at the second
light, it was red light. And soI texted my wife and I was just
like, Hi, I'm having an allergicreaction. We're going to urgent

(05:29):
care, period. That's all I sawat time, then the light turned
her send light green, off, we goto the urgent care, get to the
urgent care Park can't breathe,like really can't breathe,
stumble into the place, lumbarinto the place. There's no one
there. And I look around. And Iguess they heard me come in. And

(05:51):
so a woman came, you know,behind the desk, and her eyes
got enormous. And she said, canI please have your ID? And I was
just like, whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, because it couldn't talk.
I couldn't speak at all like,rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, is how I sounded. Butworse than that. And then the
woman who there's another womanwho kind of looked in and she

(06:14):
was like, get him back here now.And they got me back there sat
me in the chair and startedtaking doing my blood. What is
the oxygen levels and the thingaround my arm to check my blood
pressure, and all these things?And it was great. But they were

(06:35):
running around like chickens.They were just running around in
circles, like, what do we do?What do we do? It's Monday
morning. This is the first guythat comes in what? It's not a
good way to start a week calledlabor ambulance call the man
ambulance quickly. And so theambulance comes, but it took
them about, I want to say eightminutes. I don't know pretty
sure it could have died thateight minutes. And so they get

(06:57):
there. And they're like, shouldwe do an EpiPen? Do we need to
do what have you been? Andthey're like, get them on the
stretcher. It was all very like,but do this. Gotta do this, get
into that. And I, they got me onthe stretcher. And they were
asking all these questions. Andthey asked me to write down my
phone number because I couldn'tsay it. And I wrote mine. And
then I wrote my wife's number.And then I said, I was trying to

(07:20):
say hold on do you want me tocall my wife but they couldn't
understand it because it cameout like this rah rah, love,
love. And so I took my phone,they were like, We don't know
what you're saying. So I took myphone and I pressed the you
know, I was like call wife. Andthen I handed them the phone.
And then she got a call from apolice officer. And you know,
when you get that call, it'sscary. And so she you know, I

(07:44):
was talking to him about thesituation what was going on?
Should she come back? And I waslike, No, I got this, you know,
and then I get whisked to theambulance. And they put an IV in
me and then it's Benadryl. Andthen things start to come down a
little bit. They were debatingwhether to do the epi pen or

(08:05):
not. And epi pen is like, theguy was telling me about it. And
I wish you wouldn't have it's ait's a tube with a giant needle,
he said, giant needle that theyjam into your leg and then, you
know, like, whatever. And it'swhat they do. When I guess
you're going into anaphylaxis,which is not good thing. So

(08:29):
they, they were going to waituntil we got to the emergency
room because they were kind ofmonitoring everything. And I was
I still somehow was gettingoxygen. Even though I the
breathing was just like wow,right, very rapid. And we got to
the emergency room on the thing,and then they get me in there
and then they start pumping mefull of all kinds of other

(08:50):
stuff. And you know, I wasplugged in, I've got tubes, I've
got things in my fingers things.There was this a lot. And I
ended up being at the hospitalfor like 10 hours. And because
they it was it wouldn't theswelling wouldn't go down. Like

(09:14):
it was very slow, like, my facewould get a little bit better.
And I realized that about like,three o'clock that I hadn't
eaten anything since pretty muchfive o'clock the last day and I
was just like and they're like,What, and that's because

(09:34):
everybody was like What What areyou saying what? I'm sure. And
they were like, oh food. We havetwo two sandwiches. I was like,
oh, not and they gay and then Ijust like everyone, Apple car
or, or yoga. And they're like,ah, applesauce, we can give you

(09:58):
applesauce and I was like ohHuh.
And I'm texting, you know,people updates. This is what's
happening. This is where I am,this is what's going on yada,
yada. I'll give you updates as Ihave them. Yeah, and one of the
annoying things was I couldn'tgo to the bathroom because of

(10:19):
these things tied into me. Buteventually I was I was like, I
was like, the bathroom. And theywere like, okay, hold on, well,
unclick you unclick I click, Iclick. And she's like, okay,
it's doors right down there.And, and I started walking out
of the room. They asked me if Icould and I said yes. And I got
like two feet out of the room,they had forgotten to unplug,

(10:41):
like, some major thing. And itknocked me back. And it almost,
and the equipment, like almostfell over. And like, so everyone
in the emergency room was like,gasp it says everything. Okay?
And I was just like, they werelike, Oh, we're sorry. And then

(11:01):
I, you know, I use bathroom. Andthen like, a couple hours later,
things were down enough. My facewas okay. And they were like,
Okay, you seem good. Okay,called the wife. She and the
kids came and got me. And IYeah, you know, it's better. Now

(11:24):
I was given all kinds ofmedicine, I'm going to see an
allergist, see what happened.And because it was very random,
and the only thing that we couldfigure out was it was this
orange juice, because that wasall I had. And we were looking
at the bottle and it was orangejuice that had calcium in it.
And then I started researching,and it seems like calcium

(11:45):
citrate or calcium phosphate, orsome of the things that they put
into the orange juice that Imaybe had a bad reaction to. And
so it was a pretty fun day,pretty much everyone thought
that I was going to be dead ordie or whatever. And my main

(12:06):
fear was that they were going tointubate me. So put like a tube
in my throat so that I couldbreathe, because then my fear
was, well what is my voice soundlike? Like, how is this going to
impact how my voice sounds whichI use my voice for a lot of
things, talking being one ofthem, but now it's all fixed

(12:28):
except for the cleanup and thetears.

Outro (12:42):
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp
with Natty Bumpercar and some ofhis pals. It is family friendly,
clean and ridiculous. Thanks abundle for listening. If you
love our show, and you'd like tohelp support the podcast, check
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slash www.patreon.com forwardslash Natty Bumpercar also

(13:08):
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mixed and produced by producer.The bumper podcast features
contributions from Aloysius jpgRufus T Rufus doodle poodle,

(13:33):
robot trunks and a gaggle ofother silly rascals. Our head
talker is probably NattyBumpercar. We also have an
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