Is It Trauma or Neurodivergence with Irina Diyankova

On today’s podcast, I chat with Dr. Irina Diyankova, certified IFS therapist, IFS clinical consultant, and Lead Trainer with the IFS Institute. We explore the fascinating intersection of IFS and neurodivergence, a topic she knows intimately from both her lived and professional experience.

We talk about time blindness, sensory sensitivities, what gets mistaken for trauma but might be hardwiring, and how IFS therapists can differentiate. We also get into self-accommodation, the limits of coping skills, and why healing through IFS is a lifelong journey.

I loved my conversation with Irina and felt uplifted and inspired by her beautiful Self Energy. I’m excited to bring this episode to you. 

✨ Don’t miss my extended video interview with Irina on The One Inside Substack. You’ll also find a gentle, creative meditation Irina led designed especially for neurodiverse folks to connect with parts of their nervous system. Bring crayons and curiosity.

 

Key Takeaways:

• “Healing doesn't always bring rainbows and butterflies.” Irina talks about the moment she realized her nervous system challenges weren’t just about unhealed trauma.

• How do you tell the difference between parts and hardwiring? Irina walks us through how she listens for what’s left after unburdening and what that might mean.

• “Coping skills that work for others might not work for you—and that’s not a failure.”

• Why traditional therapeutic approaches (like exposure therapy) can be harmful for neurodivergent clients—and what to do instead.

• “I have to accommodate myself.” Irina shares how self-acceptance and sensory regulation opened up a whole new window of tolerance.

• We also talk about Irina’s upcoming book, Becoming an IFS Therapist: A Journey to One’s Self, which offers practices and reflections for IFS therapists.

 

Mentioned In This Episode:

The Science of Calm free online summit April 21 - May 4, 2025

“Applying IFS with autistic and ADHD adults through neurodiversity affirming lens” two-day workshop, May 30-31, 2025.

Irina's book: Becoming an IFS Therapist: A Journey to One's Self

 

About Dr. Irina Diyankova

Dr. Irina Diyankova is a licensed psychologist, certified IFS therapist, and Lead Trainer with the IFS Institute. She specializes in the treatment of psychological trauma and related conditions, including PTSD, Dissociative Disorders, and Anxiety and Mood Disorders. Based in Tennessee, Irina offers professional consultations, workshops, and trainings for mental health professionals interested in learning the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. She is also an IFS Approved Clinical Consultant, known for her thoughtful, neurodiversity-affirming approach to teaching and therapy.

 

Episode Sponsors:

IFS Demoz 

Curious what Internal Family Systems looks like in action? Join IFS Demoz, a live demonstration series led by IFS pioneer Mike Elkin. Each week, M