The Bio/Non-Bio Myth: Why Love, Not DNA, Makes a Family

Episode Summary (Podcast Apps)

Kevin and Alim—longtime partners, dads of two, and global citizens—share how they built their family through Canadian surrogacy, what they looked for in an egg donor, and how they talk to their kids about donor conception using a “meet them where they are” approach. We get real about the bio vs. non-bio parent feelings (yes, they’re normal), the difference between a natural birth and a planned C-section as intended parents, and the constant “coming out” kids do at school. Kevin also serves as Vice Chair of Fertility Friends Foundation, a Canadian charity offering fertility grants and partnered IVF cycles nationwide—their Fall application window opened October 1.

Sponsored by California Cryobank—use code QueerFam25 for a free Level 2 catalog subscription (and a discount on Level 3). Make those babies; then come tell me about them.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• Intentionality > DNA: Non-bio worries are common; attachment grows through caregiving, time, and presence.
• Normalize origin stories early: Use “drop the seed” moments—casual, repeated, age-appropriate mentions.
• Prepare your ‘school scripts’: Short, kind, clear answers for curious adults and kids.
• Know your lanes (Canada): Surrogacy is legal with restrictions; agency vs. independent both require strong legal and clinical partners.
• Policy matters: Some citizenship regimes still hinge on DNA, which doesn’t reflect modern families.

🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

Kevin – Canadian/Swiss dual citizen, longtime New Yorker, Vice Chair at Fertility Friends Foundation, a Canadian registered charity that offers need-based grants and a clinic partnership program covering a full IVF cycle for selected recipients.

Alim – Immigrated from Africa to Canada at age six; has lived and worked around the world. Together with Kevin for 21+ years, married 11, dad to Ava (10) and Noah (8).

🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsor California Cryobank! Thinking of growing your queer family? Use code QUEERFAM25 at cryobank.com for a FREE Level 2 subscription to their donor catalog!

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🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

• Fertility Friends Foundation (Canada) – need-based fertility grants + partner-clinic IVF cycle program. Fall application window opened October 1. (Canada residents only.)
• California Cryobank – Use code QueerFam25 for a free Level 2 donor catalog subscription (and discount on Level 3).

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