October 7, 2025 • 52 mins
Send us your movie recommendations!
A blueberry vodka soda becomes a legend, a TikTok rabbit hole opens Baltimore’s catacombs, and a straight-to-DVD parasite flick dares them to defend it. Join Captain and Wilson this week as they discuss the 2010 iTunes hit, "Growth," directed by Gabriel Cowan.
The film discussion begins around 13:27.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Captain (00:18):
Oh my gosh.
You know, um, I know this waslike a gazillion weeks ago now,
by the time this recording comesout.
Okay, wait, I found somethingreally cool.
Okay, you remember blueberryboyfriend?
Wilson (00:31):
Yeah, and I remember Jay being like, yeah, well, I have
a strawberry girlfriend.
Captain (00:36):
Okay, wait, hold on.
Um look, I found okay, I foundthis on my trip, and I really
like these, but I don't thinkI'm ever gonna be able to get
them anywhere else.
Like, just like blueberryboyfriends, I'm only probably
gonna ever be able to find themin Pittsburgh.
Um, but this is called aNantucket blue.
Wilson (00:55):
Ooh.
Captain (00:56):
And they brew them in Nantucket, and it's blueberry
vodka soda.
Dude.
Litty titty over here withthese.
So good.
Wilson (01:05):
You say litty titty?
Yeah.
Captain (01:06):
Is that what you said?
Yeah, they're so good.
They're really flavorful.
They're good.
Uh honestly, I bought them, andthen like everybody that was
there with me was like, Oh, canI have one?
And then like No.
Well, we just kept buying them.
Like, I bought a box of likefour, like a four-pack, and then
we just kept buying thembecause they were everybody
(01:27):
really liked them.
They were really good.
Wilson (01:29):
Okay.
Captain (01:30):
So have you ever make your way over to uh Martha's
Vineyard or Nantucket?
Wilson (01:35):
Um, I would you It looks like you can order them.
From like yeah, but I went tothe their website.
Captain (01:42):
Yeah, but like what's shipping?
Everything over there is reallyexpensive because it's like
imported.
Wilson (01:50):
Uh let me see what it would be to ship to m it it
won't tell me the shipping untilI put a card in?
No, just a an address, which isfair.
Um, almost there.
Almost there.
I mean But I feel like you cyou should be able to look up
like um where it's not a cheapride.
Captain (02:12):
Like it's like eight hours.
Wilson (02:14):
Unless there's a it looks like they don't ship.
Captain (02:22):
Wow.
The letdown.
Wilson (02:24):
It said no shipping options available.
Captain (02:28):
Yeah, they probably ship over around the islands
over there.
Wilson (02:33):
I'm just surprised, like, you know, you can't look
up like, hey, find a distributornear you.
Captain (02:42):
There aren't any, dude.
Wilson (02:45):
Are you saying they make it all on this little Martha's
Vineyard?
Captain (02:49):
Well, I I think on Nantucket.
Wilson (02:52):
Well, they s at least they ship it off a Nantucket and
send it to Martha's Vineyard.
Captain (02:56):
So, like, but that dude, that's like a 30-minute
ferry ride.
Like, that's easy for that.
Oh yeah.
How'd you even get to oh youhave to click the I read the
agreements or whatever?
Wilson (03:07):
Yeah, you have to say you're like of age.
Captain (03:10):
What's the customer mar match zone US?
Wilson (03:14):
What are you talking about?
Captain (03:16):
I don't know.
Um, let's see if they'lldeliver it to me.
unknown (03:20):
Nope.
Wilson (03:21):
I'm about to be shocked if they're not.
Captain (03:23):
They probably only ship it around the islands.
Um, but it's really good, andI'm probably never gonna be able
to get it again, but um it'sjust a recommendation.
Wilson (03:32):
You can you can get a boat delivery.
There's a $40 minimum minimum.
Um, but I have a feeling youneed to live.
Captain (03:42):
Where uh they could boat to me, yeah.
Probably.
Wilson (03:45):
I mean they could boat to Baltimore.
Captain (03:47):
Oh my god, get out of here.
Wilson (03:51):
Uh um, speaking of Baltimore, I think you had a you
had a little the story toshare.
Captain (03:57):
It's like did you do you know what this means?
Wilson (04:00):
I don't know what the fuck that means.
Captain (04:03):
Okay, so uh I was scrolling on TikTok as we do.
I always bring you somethingweird from there.
Um, but um I was on there and Isomeone brought up the
Baltimore catacombs.
And I was like, what the fuckare you talking about, the
Baltimore catacombs?
But apparently we have like abunch of underground crypts in
(04:25):
Baltimore.
Um and there's over a thousandpeople buried underneath the
city.
Wilson (04:30):
Wow.
Captain (04:31):
And you can actually go on tourist to see like the
three main crypt crypts um fromAre you gonna do it?
I kinda want to, because themost famous person buried down
there is Edgar Allan Poe.
Wilson (04:42):
Oh, okay.
I guess that doesn't surpriseme because didn't he like aren't
there like a bunch of EdgarAllan Poe things in Baltimore?
Captain (04:48):
Yeah, I he I think he so he lived in a couple major
cities throughout his life, butI think he spent a decent amount
of time in Baltimore and thenhe died here.
So that's why people likeassociate him with Baltimore.
But like I know he like livedin Philadelphia for a while, and
like he lived in a couple ofcities on the coast, but yeah,
he died here.
So anyway, yeah, but the umWestminster Hall, they do tours
(05:11):
where you can like buy a ticketand go down into underground
crypts.
But the problem is I don't knowwho would do this with me.
Wilson (05:20):
Oh, Jay's like not down for that.
Captain (05:22):
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Wilson (05:26):
Uh if I ever visit you and it makes sense to do it,
I'll do it.
unknown (05:31):
Yeah.
Captain (05:34):
The pictures are pretty creepy of these underground
crypts.
Wilson (05:38):
I'm just not going in any like tight spaces where
like, oh, this thing caved in,or like, hey guys, let's just do
this other turn in thisrestricted area.
Captain (05:48):
Yeah, don't you send me all of those um divers, those
diver memes?
Yeah, the ones walking.
Wilson (05:57):
Like, hey, I don't care about my family, let me go cave
diving or something like Yeah.
Captain (06:02):
Um, they don't look like too tight.
They do remind me of that moviewe watched um with the
catacombs.
Wilson (06:10):
As above, so below.
Captain (06:11):
Yeah, so below, yeah.
Wilson (06:12):
So below.
What kind of Coke are youdrinking?
Captain (06:16):
Um it's uh Coke Zero, a cigarette fridge, as they say.
Or wait, no, a fridgecigarette.
Wilson (06:24):
I have a uh coat diet coke downstairs.
I know what I should havegotten that.
I'm drinking LaCroix.
Captain (06:30):
Lame.
Wilson (06:31):
Yeah.
Captain (06:33):
Really just gotta take the itch off.
You know, I still um I stillhave my uh shark koozie and I
love it so much.
Best thing is steal Citicon.
Um okay.
Uh oh, yeah, we didn't talkabout it last time, but we both
(06:54):
finally saw weapons.
Wilson (06:56):
Oh yeah.
Captain (06:58):
Um and I just wanted to say it was great.
Wilson (07:01):
That was um It was great.
That was a fantastic movie.
And I think I told you when wefirst tried to watch it, like
halfway through, the fire alarmgot pulled, so everyone had to
leave, and then we're like,we're not waiting for this, so
we went to a different theater.
Captain (07:15):
You get weird movie situations.
Wilson (07:17):
I do.
This is like the third orfourth time something like this
has happened to me.
Um and then we went to thisother theater.
We ended up just starting itbasically at the beginning.
Um, but it was like it was areally cool experience to um
wait for the audience's reactionto one, the scene where um the
main character falls asleep inher car and the like zombie mom
(07:40):
comes out and like snips thehair yeah, but where she like
opens the back door of the car.
Um and then the other time whenJosh Brolin wakes up and he's
like, What the fuck?
Uh so that was enjoyable justto get everyone's uh So you you
saw a decent amount in like youwere a decent amount in the
(08:03):
movie before you had to res rerestart.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was like a really goodchunk.
Captain (08:08):
Wow.
Wilson (08:08):
I was pretty annoyed about it.
Yeah, we watched the first likehalf plus um decided to go have
dinner and then caught the nextshowing at a different theater.
Captain (08:18):
Yeah, that's unfortunate.
It is a really good moviethough.
It was um it was pretty packedwhen we saw it.
Not not super packed, but it wthere was a decent amount of
people in the theater.
Um, and no one like ruined it,so that was good.
I was nervous because likeyou're seeing a movie in the
summer when kids are off school,and like you know what I mean,
but I think that type of movie,it's like you get hooked in
(08:40):
really quickly because you'relike, what the fuck are these
children doing?
Yes.
The scene where um Marcus comesrunning at the main girl, her
like uh principal.
Oh my god.
That is like that could giveyou nightmares.
Oh, that scene like tore me up.
I was like not prepared for uhhim running at her like that.
(09:02):
Um but yeah, it was reallygood.
I um were you the one that sentme that um or maybe I just saw
it, but um it was like everyHalloween party this year, and
it's just like a gazilliongladnesses every I don't know if
I sent that to you or not, butI I have heard that.
Yeah.
And that's that's fair.
(09:22):
Um but yeah, anyway.
It was good.
I I just wanted to we hadn'tactually talked about it, like
that we've both seen it.
What's um why do you keepbringing up Twilight, dude?
What is this Twilight T?
Wilson (09:32):
I I can't help it.
Um, but uh uh in any case, Idon't know if you heard, but
they're re-releasing the moviesin theaters this month and be in
October.
Um uh and they have veryspecific days that they're
showing the movies.
Um so I'm gonna go see thefirst one and the last one in
theaters.
Uh I didn't plan all this tohappen at the same time, but
(09:55):
then also in November, umthey're doing one of those
things, it's like a tour aroundthe country or something where
they do like a liveaccompaniment of a movie's score
while playing the movie.
Captain (10:08):
What?
Sorry, I so they have like awhole orchestra.
No, no, I I sorry, when I Iknow I've seen that before, I
know what you're talking about,but when you first said live
accompaniment, I thought likeKristen Stewart and like I
thought Pattinson and them, likeI thought they were coming.
When you said liveaccompaniment, like no no, but
the orchestra stuff, yeah, I'veseen that before.
Wilson (10:29):
Yeah, I originally just signed up for that because I
thought it'd be cool.
And then, you know, a coupleweeks ago when they announced
they'd be back in theaters.
I was like, well, when am Igonna get to see it in theaters
again?
So I was like, let's do it.
Captain (10:38):
You are fully aware that I have not seen these TVs,
right?
Wilson (10:41):
Yeah, but I send me the memes anyway, because I'm like,
you probably get the gist.
But just like you should justlike get it over with and watch
them.
Captain (10:49):
Sir, I have so much better TV to watch.
Wilson (10:51):
It's really good rotting, like couch rotting
cinema.
Captain (10:56):
I would much rather watch like I don't know.
Wilson (11:00):
All of Down Abbey.
Captain (11:01):
Yeah, if I had yes, all of Doubt Nabbee, or like I like
to watch those really like uhweird uh docudramas.
Wilson (11:09):
Can you the next time you watch one, can you recomm
well can you recommend one?
Because I don't I'm gettingtired of docudramas that like
overall don't really s sayanything, there's no
development, and it's just likeso now I'm nervous to start any
new ones.
Captain (11:27):
Um, yeah.
How sad how sad do you want itto be?
Wilson (11:34):
Sad's okay.
Did you watch the Natalia Graceone with Ellen Pompeo?
Captain (11:39):
Uh and Mark Duplace.
Wilson (11:41):
I think it's Mark Duplass.
Captain (11:44):
Uh, I don't know.
Wilson (11:46):
That one got mixed reviews, but I kind of Oh, with
the Orphan?
Captain (11:50):
No, I did not see that.
I've watched the movie like toomany times to want to watch the
documentary or the docudrama.
Wilson (11:56):
Uh that's fair.
I didn't watch season two ofthe documentary because I didn't
seem like it was really gonnasay anything new.
Captain (12:04):
Hmm.
Did you did you watch Drinkseason two?
The Drinks?
What was that?
You watch The Drinks, right?
The D I'm sorry.
You've never watched The Jinx?
Wilson (12:19):
Dude, if you I've never even heard of this.
Captain (12:22):
Oh my god.
Don't spoil anything foryourself.
If you want to watch some typeof true crime, you gotta watch
the Jinx.
Wilson (12:30):
Who the cuss?
Captain (12:34):
Don't spoil anything!
Wilson (12:35):
Why does this say release 2015 and 2024?
Captain (12:39):
Because season one and season two are that far apart.
Wilson (12:44):
Okay, let me add it to the list.
Captain (12:46):
Dude, Robert Durst's story is insane.
I can't believe I haven't seenthat.
On Rotten Tomatoes, it has a 90and a 91.
Wilson (12:54):
Jeez.
Alright, alright.
Captain (12:56):
The jinx is like boots down.
Wilson (13:01):
Boots the house down.
Captain (13:02):
Seriously.
Technically not a docudrama,but it's more important that you
watch this before anythingelse.
Wilson (13:11):
Uh we'll see about that.
Captain (13:13):
I mean, in that genre in that general genre.
Wilson (13:16):
Oh, oh, oh.
Okay, okay, okay.
I can I can make that happen.
Captain (13:19):
Okay.
Um here we have.
Do you want to bring us in?
Wilson (13:25):
It's time.
I think it's time.
Captain (13:27):
Okay.
It's a gem here.
Um, okay, welcome to the wait,which one is oh, this is 170.
Welcome to the 178th episode ofthe Red Rum Podcast, where we
review horror movies whileenjoying a dull beverage or two,
thanks.
And I'm Captain.
Wilson (13:46):
And I'm Wilson.
Captain (13:47):
And this week we're reviewing the 2010 American Hara
film.
I pretty sure this wentstraight to DVD.
Wilson (13:54):
That does not surprise me.
Captain (13:55):
I I like didn't have to be.
Wilson (13:57):
I would have been shocked if this went to
theaters.
Captain (14:01):
I didn't see any any box office stuff.
I I'm pretty sure.
And then there was somethingabout the DVD release, and I was
like, yeah, that seems likethat was the only release.
Um okay, so this was writtenand directed by Gabriel Cohen.
Um, he was originally amusician.
He's actually more known forthe band that he formed with
(14:22):
David David Arquette.
Wilson (14:23):
Um that was the hot gosh that I had, so whatever, it's
fine.
Captain (14:27):
Oh sorry.
Well, yeah, he's usually mostlyknown for his musician stuff
with David Arquette.
Um they helped write the scorefor Scream 2 and Scream 3.
Um, but I don't think theybanned anymore.
I don't think.
Um why are you making thatpiece?
Wilson (14:46):
I was reading more of his um What do you have do they
have a band name?
Captain (14:50):
I I didn't find that.
Wilson (14:52):
Yeah, I don't I'm sure if I like tried hard I could
maybe find it.
Um They I saw so it says afterhe graduated from school he like
you know directed this movieand it became the number one
horror rental on iTunes.
On iTunes Sorry, number one wasthis when iTunes came out.
Captain (15:17):
Like what I don't know.
I I I I don't know.
Wilson (15:22):
I'm gonna need some like factual backups on that.
Captain (15:25):
What's this man's name?
Gabrielle?
Wilson (15:28):
URL didn't even go anywhere.
Captain (15:32):
I mean, there's lots of lies on the internet.
I don't see what I need a bandname, to be honest.
I don't know.
Wilson (15:42):
I don't know, man.
Captain (15:44):
Okay, so um jumping into oh yeah, so jumping into
the cast yeah.
Oh yeah, I don't know if he'sdirected anything else that was
worth mentioning.
Okay, so jumping in the cast,we have oh gosh.
Oh gosh.
Mercia Monroe.
Wilson (16:04):
Oh, sorry.
Um I found the band's name ifyou're curious.
Captain (16:06):
Oh yeah, what is it?
Wilson (16:08):
It's ear 2000, and there's no space between ear and
2000.
Captain (16:13):
Ugh.
I roll.
Wilson (16:14):
And he goes by Gabe.
Captain (16:16):
Okay.
Um okay, uh, Mercia Monroe, Ithink, um, plays Jamie, the main
girl.
Um, she's mostly known for hercomedy drama shows, Heart of
Dixie, and there's some showcalled Episodes.
Never seen it.
Um her brother in this film isplayed by Christopher Strand.
(16:40):
I didn't really find anythingfor him.
Um, and then she's got twofriends, so Nora Kirkpatrick as
Kristen.
Kristen's probably the mostknown person in here.
She um is known for her ABCfamily show Greek.
Um, she was in the office um asDwight's girlfriend for a
season as well.
(17:00):
Is that why you recognize her?
Wilson (17:04):
Yeah.
Captain (17:05):
She looks like somebody else.
She looks like a differentblonde actress that was more
popular in like this time periodor earlier.
Wilson (17:15):
DM her on Instagram and tell her that.
Captain (17:17):
I like couldn't re find I look like somebody that's
more popular than you.
I like couldn't remember theactress's name, and it's gonna
be so hard to find her, so uhwhatever.
Um okay, and then Brian Krauseplays Marco.
He's mostly known for his rolein Charmed.
Did you watch Charmed?
Wilson (17:36):
Oh hell yeah.
Captain (17:37):
Hell yeah, brother.
Um do you remember Leo?
Wilson (17:41):
Oh yeah.
Captain (17:42):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Wilson (17:43):
He's like a main character.
Captain (17:44):
Okay, well he was uncharmed.
Um and he played the lead rolein some horror movie called
Sleepwalkers.
I wonder if that's good.
Oh, are you looking it up?
Wilson (17:55):
Uh it did it looks like it probably broke even.
The cast is pretty good.
Captain (18:00):
On the least.
Wilson (18:02):
On the least.
Yeah, always adding shit to thelist.
As a 29%.
So this might be a bad movie.
I feel like there's like someslight cultiness maybe to this.
Captain (18:15):
Wow, I love the movie poster.
Wilson (18:17):
This yeah, like this looks like it'd be good.
Like, if you look at that cast,that's a lot of a lot of meat
on the bones.
Is this a Stephen King?
Oh.
Wait.
Uh is it?
Yes.
Well, okay, he at least wrotethe movie.
I don't know if that means healso wrote the like if there was
a book for it too.
Captain (18:40):
I have no idea.
Um, and then Larkin.
Oh, sorry, I always I tried sohard not to do that.
Um Richie Ryle, real, um, asLarkin, he's probably the most
famous person.
He's done a gazillion characterroles.
Like, I you would recognize himas like kind of like that
little um, I don't know.
(19:00):
I don't want to be mean, butlike a little frumpy.
Wilson (19:05):
Um yeah, he's just he appears in everything.
Captain (19:07):
Yeah.
Wilson (19:08):
But you like don't really know his name.
Captain (19:10):
Yeah, I I honestly tried to figure out where I knew
him from from his list, and Icouldn't tell because like he's
just yeah, he's in everything.
Um, but he's mostly known forplaying Walt Finerty in Grounded
for Life.
Um, and he's done a bunch ofappearances in Star Trek, and he
was also in Halloween too.
Do you think you recognize himfrom Star Trek?
Wilson (19:31):
Um, I don't know.
They have so many, like, somany famous people in there, and
they put them in all this weirdmakeup usually.
I don't remember him offhand,but if I saw his character, I'd
probably be like, oh yeah.
Captain (19:44):
Do you think he's an alien?
Wilson (19:47):
In real life?
Captain (19:49):
In Star Trek.
Wilson (19:52):
Oh.
I mean well, now I'm curious,so I have to look it up.
Alright, it's fine.
It's not a big crazy.
How do you spell this re okay?
Got it.
Um I'm gonna answer you in tenor eleven seconds.
Okay.
Um, it looks like he was alwaysdressed as a human.
Captain (20:12):
Okay.
Um, you know what?
Wilson (20:14):
I recognize him from Office Space.
Captain (20:16):
Oh yeah, that's where I know him from too.
I've seen the movie like fourtimes.
Wilson (20:22):
It's a good movie.
Captain (20:23):
I think it was a pretty good movie.
Um, okay, so let's jump inhere.
Um so it starts off with umwords on the screen that says
one in a four Americans have aparasite.
Dot dot dot.
Many of them are deadly.
Um The words on the screen goby so fast.
I actually missed them.
Like they went by so fast.
(20:43):
I don't even know if you caughtthem.
Wilson (20:46):
Um I might have paused, but yeah, they were fast.
Captain (20:49):
Um but anyway, we get um, like uh some zombie runaway
looking man was like chasedafter cops and he like ran into
some water and he's likescreaming in pain, and it seems
like that killed him.
Um there's not really a lot ofuh detail into that, but then it
(21:10):
cuts to uh in 19 what is it?
Um in 19 ohine on Cuddle HuckIsland, some scientists called
Mason Lane used microscopicparasites to advance human
evolution.
And we don't get like we get itin pieces, like we don't get
all of that at the beginning.
We we get that he um first uhgenetically modified uh clams so
(21:35):
that the pearls were likereally big.
Um and I don't know who toldyou that you can leap from clams
to human beings, but that'scrazy work.
Um But yeah, he uh was doingsome experiments that resulted
in stronger, smarter, healthyhealthier humans that had like
(21:57):
parasites inside of them.
Um but like some type of chaoshappened when he was presenting
it and um like a bunch of peopledied on the island.
And like we're like I said,we're getting like cuts of this
kind of in and out.
Wilson (22:11):
Um I think this part went like way too fast.
Like I was I did like get well,I think I was already getting
the impression I was like, thismovie's gonna be something, so I
got distracted and missed partof that explanation.
I was like, I probably shouldhave heard that, but we're gonna
keep going.
Captain (22:27):
Yeah, it I mean it's just a lot of like scenes of
them doing some type of scienceand then like accidents or
people are dying.
Um they're like not wearing anyPPE, like I I I don't know
what's happening.
Um, but and then I also missedwhen it cuts to present day and
like a group of people aregetting in a car and coming back
to the island.
I was like, who the fuck arethese people?
(22:47):
Like I miss that because theywent through it so fast and
you're introduced to like sixpeople really quickly.
So it took me a while torealize what who they were.
But the main girl, Jamie, shecame back to the island to clean
out her um great uncle's house,this Mason Lane guy who died.
Um, and she's there with herboyfriend, what's his name?
(23:08):
Marco or something, and thenhe's she's there with her
stepbrother and herstepbrother's girlfriend.
Well, actually, no, they'renot.
I don't know if they're gonnabe.
Wilson (23:18):
Their relationship between like all their however
they were all related orconnected was way too
complicated for this movie.
Captain (23:25):
Yeah, I I cause I don't know why she's there, because
they said they weren't dating,and he was like, I don't sleep
with women just to sleep withwomen.
But like, why the fuck was shethere then?
Who is she?
I I don't And then there wasthat other girl, Sarah with a
baby.
I was like, Who the fuck isthat?
I ha I honestly have no idea.
Um I don't know.
But yeah, so this is twentyyears later.
(23:47):
They they go come back to theislands, Jamie and Marco and
then Justin and Kristen.
Um Oh, Jamie's fatherspearheaded the original
project.
I thought that was her didn'tshe say uncle?
Wilson (24:03):
I think it was her dad.
Captain (24:05):
Oh, maybe it was Kristen's uncle?
Maybe that was like theircousin?
I don't know.
Um anyway.
So they get back to the island.
Wilson (24:14):
Um there's they're supposed to get like two million
dollars for it to pay off likedebts.
Captain (24:23):
Oh, yeah, that's why they really came back, yeah.
Because they didn't want tocome back, but because a bunch
of people died when they werekids.
But yes, the property'ssupposed to be worth two million
dollars.
So they were like gonna cleanit out, sell it, take all the
money and yeah, get lifetogether.
Also, Jason is some type ofsick and he apparently he needs
medication, which they weregonna use the money for.
They don't really talk aboutdetails.
Wilson (24:44):
Missed that.
Captain (24:46):
They go through it really fast.
Um, and then um, yeah, so Ithink it starts out with um
Kristen um is like going on arun and she is spray painting
trees while she's going on arun, which in my notes I was
like, that's fucking crazybecause she's on a clear trail.
Like, why is she spray paintingtrees when she's running on
(25:09):
like an obvious trail?
But there's a reason for that,which comes up later in the
movie.
Um, and then you see thatsomebody is watching her, like
dressed in all black.
Um, so that's the first timeyou see that character.
Um and then I think uh early onshe res she gets a visit from
Larkin Um, who informs her thatshe's not gonna be able to sell
(25:33):
her property.
Like he was like, Yeah, this isnot worth two million dollars.
You can't sell it because it'slike either the land itself is
owned by the city or like thehouse or something, and he was
like, I can offer you 75k andthat's it.
Wilson (25:49):
Yeah, I think he was trying to say it's like the town
has to approve a sale, andwe're not going to approve a
sale, so we will give you$75,000 for your trouble, but
you cannot sell it.
Captain (26:01):
Yeah, and I she asked she says, Who's the city council
that I can talk to?
And he goes, Well, I'm the headof city council.
Um Yes.
Um, and then there's also ascene around this time where
like it's clear that like hedidn't want Jamie to come back
here.
Um, and he kind of like uh Idon't know, like, is mad at
(26:23):
somebody for bringing him.
I was really confused by thatscience scene that was
happening, like, in present daythat happens around this time
where like uh a lady is left inthe lab by herself while the
sheriff and the council city manare talking, and then like she
gets parasited.
(26:43):
Do you know what that like thatwas modern day, right?
Like that wasn't a flashback.
So like they're still doingparasite studies.
Wilson (26:52):
I think they weren't supposed to be doing it.
Captain (26:54):
Yeah.
Well, she was left in there byherself.
Like he explains to her what'shappening.
Like, these parasites are usedto make the perfect human.
Um, like we got the pearl, andwe were like, okay, cool, let's
do it on people.
Um and they mention how Jamiewas supposed to be brought back
here because she has some typeof immunity, but or she knows
(27:14):
something about the immunity,but like nobody knows what she
knows about it.
Um, and she's the only personthat would know.
Um it was very confusing whenthey first bring it up, too,
which uh yeah, that's the moviefor you.
Um and then yeah, so um what uhJustin gets um parasited when
(27:36):
he get jumps in that water,right?
Wilson (27:39):
Uh in the river.
He almost did, but I think itwas while he was having sex with
the girl on the beach and itwent in his foot.
Captain (27:48):
Oh yeah, that was so nasty.
Um yes.
So yes.
He gets it in his foot, andthen he gets sick really
quickly.
Like he's like looks rabid,he's like uh uh I don't know,
like in pain, and you can seethe parasites wiggling
underneath his skin.
(28:08):
Um, and then like everybody'son a frantic search for a
doctor, which like all thesecharacters come in that I'm like
like the town's doctor andSarah's friend, and I don't
know.
But anyway, when they're goingthrough the town, like it's
clear, like us as the audience,we can see that like a bunch of
people have already had parasiteattacks.
Like there are dead people inhouses.
We saw that scene earlier oflike that little girl Emily that
(28:31):
like gets parasited and likethe parasites leap out of her
body and attack her parents inbed.
Um it was a really fast scene.
I don't know if you rememberthat.
Um, but it's already like afull outbreak in the city, but
like I I guess the citycouncilman is trying to keep it
on the DL.
Um and um they basically don'tneed to find a j a doctor
(28:55):
because Justin says, Justkidding, I'm fine, right?
Or that was after his nightout.
Wilson (29:04):
Yeah, I think so.
This is like so a good chunk ofthis movie I would just tune
back in periodically, but thenscroll on my phone because I was
like I I got halfway into thismovie and I was like, how is
there still so much left?
Captain (29:20):
Yeah, I it's really it's so talk about like ABC th
movie or like a bay I mean thisis so low budget, this movie,
and way more complicated than itneeds to be.
Wilson (29:34):
Oh my gosh, yeah.
And just the pacing was like Idon't know, it was really rough.
Captain (29:39):
Um so yeah, Justin before he gets better, he
basically like uh wakes up inthe middle of the night, he like
sexually assaults Kristen.
I I don't know what that was,and she was like, I'm sleeping.
So then he leaves.
Do you remember that?
He like sticks his fingers downher pants and she's like, I'm
sleeping.
Wilson (29:58):
Uh I remember uh something.
About a bedroom scene, yeah.
Captain (30:01):
Um, and then he goes to the bar, and when he's in the
bar, he gets into a fight, um,and his heightened abilities
make it easy for him to win.
Like he he like, you know fullywins over his opponents.
Um and he was talking to a girlin the bar, which is why the
fight started, and he um chokesthat girl out and rips out part
of her neck.
(30:21):
Um and you can see like wormscoming out of his body,
parasites coming out of his bodywhen he's like making out with
her slash choking her.
Um, because she was like, Whatthe heck is that?
Like they're coming out of hisears.
Um, but he kind of wakes up thenext morning unsure of what
happened, unsure if that was agood dream or not, and he like
seems fine.
Um, however, he vomits out likeparasites in the toilet um that
(30:45):
morning.
Um talk about like a poor oneout.
That was like the most nastiestvomit I've ever seen.
There was like live wormscrawling around in it.
It was so nasty.
Wilson (30:55):
It was nasty.
Captain (30:57):
Um okay, and then I think Kristen she keeps going
out on runs every morning orevery day, and she finds this
gigantic mass cemetery graveyardwhere like it's just a bunch of
uh like wooden stakes, woodenuh crosses.
Um, Wikipedia says like uhthree-quarters of the town died
(31:18):
when this first outbreakhappened.
I don't remember them sayingthat, but I don't either.
Wilson (31:23):
Apparently Why would you stay there at that point?
Captain (31:26):
Why would anyone stay there?
It's like Snake Island, it'slike let it be just be Parasite
Island.
Yeah, it's not that importantum if you're gonna die there.
So anyway, she's out on a run,um, just finds this mass
graveyard, but then a mysteriousfigure um like I think uh grabs
her and attacks her um whileshe's out there.
(31:46):
Um and then I think uh we getto see like that figure is like
mostly a parasite person.
Like you don't get to see theirface, but like a gigantic
parasite um looks just likealien, actually.
Like the worms the worm tongueum comes out and attacks her.
Wilson (32:07):
Um yeah, shoves itself down her throat.
Captain (32:10):
Yeah, it's um definitely CGI, it could be
worse, right?
Wilson (32:15):
Yeah.
Um I wish there were practicaleffects.
I know that's that could beexpensive.
That character was kind ofreally like mean though.
Like the first quarter of themovie, I was like, this
character is insufferable.
Captain (32:30):
Yeah, no, Kristen sucks.
She's terrible.
Yeah.
I mean yeah.
The only person that wasactually like I enjoyed was
Jamie's boyfriend.
I think he the guy fromCharmed, I think.
Wilson (32:44):
Oh, yeah, he was just like a fine character.
Captain (32:48):
Um but yeah, so she gets attacked, um, and then I
think the doctor finally showsup that said, um, hey, you were
looking for me like two daysago, like I'm here for Justin.
And then they explain the umsymptoms to Justin and how he's
better, and he goes, Oh no,you're in like he's like really
(33:08):
diseased and he's sick, and likeyou've got to get out of here,
and like um, you know, they saidhe left five minutes ago, and
then like this huge artillery oflike 12 people show up that are
like here to hunt him downbecause they they know that this
parasite uh uh a pandemicepidemic on the island is
(33:29):
happening, and they're just likenot telling the citizens or the
people that are here to visit.
So like they know that this ishappening and they know that
that's what he's got, andthey're just shooting anybody
that has parasite, which doesn'tseem to actually do anything.
Like the parasite just jumps tothe next person.
Wilson (33:44):
Yeah, they don't really seem that concerned about like,
yeah, you could kill the personright next to you, but there
could be worms all over theground and it just would need to
crawl up your leg.
Captain (33:52):
Like, I don't I mean the worms die with water.
Why aren't we just why don't wejust have cups of water
available to us?
Wilson (34:03):
Couldn't tell ya.
Captain (34:05):
My laptop's gonna die.
Um yeah, so they um go throughand they like um um like shoot
everybody that looks like theymight have had the parasite, and
then they also um like salt theground, which I don't know if
they really explain that.
Um I think it's I think themain thing is the uh the
(34:29):
parasites don't like salt waterslash salt, so like salt plants
are um but anyway the doctordoes some dumb shit when he's
out there where he doesn't tapehis pant legs before walking
outside, which is like thatshould be a requirement.
The fact that they handed himtape while he was already
outside was so fucking stupid.
But a parasite jumps up hisleg, and before he even has a
(34:52):
chance to like see if theparasite bit him or do anything
about it, they just shoot thedoctor.
I'm like, I'm sorry, you shotyour one town doctor.
Like, really?
We weren't gonna get any uh wayto I don't know, remediate
that.
I I don't know.
Um I I was just like you couldnot I was like damn, I was
(35:14):
really surprised they shot thedoctor.
Um anyway, it cuts back to thescene with Kristen and um the
mysterious figure, and um he isactually Dr.
Uh Mason Lane this whole time.
So the guy that they came toclean the house out, he's
actually not dead, he was alivethe whole time, and he was like
(35:35):
secretly continuing thisparasite perfect human research.
Um and he also wants he alsolike kidnaps Jamie because she
has supposedly has the anecdotefor sorry, not anecdote,
antidote for I guess thisparasite disease.
(35:56):
Um but she swears she doesn'tknow what the antidote is.
Um and they he's like whatstraps her to a table like
Frankenstein the worst uhrestraint because she gets out
of it almost immediately.
It's like a theater, like itreminds me of like a play, like
a like you know what I mean,like a high school play.
Wilson (36:19):
You mean just like they're just going through the
motions, but it's just likewhatever.
Captain (36:23):
Yeah, that's yeah.
Um but she gets out and like Ithink they argue a bit, but um,
she basically traps him in a thelab um and Larkin comes to
help, um, but they just killkill Mason um with like water.
But again, it releases all theparasites like just because his
body's dead doesn't mean thatthey're dead.
(36:44):
Like they just try to find thenext host.
Um there's a weird scene wherelike as they're getting away
from him, um, they find thatwhen their friend Sarah's dead,
and I'm like, damn, she's got afucking baby.
You know what I mean?
Wilson (36:59):
I kind of forgot about her.
Captain (37:01):
Yeah, but they the girl has a baby at the end, like
with her, no?
Wilson (37:05):
I was wondering how like I had forgotten, I was like, I
I don't know how you ended upwith this baby that you're
taking on a boat, but I'm justgonna roll with it.
Captain (37:13):
Yeah, so she decides that she's gonna save herself
and this baby that doesn't havea parasite, because everyone
else probably does.
So she like gets in a boat umto get away.
Jason is like tr trying tofollow her, but you know, he has
a parasite in him, so he can't,he's gonna get melty if he goes
into the water.
Um and Dr.
Larkin basically saves them.
(37:34):
Like he fights Jason until likeshe can get away.
Um and then she it literallyit's her and a baby and nothing
else on this rowboat.
And I guess they're justdrifting into the ocean
overnight.
And they when she's like, it'sthe next morning, um, and she is
obvious and obviously infected.
(37:55):
Like she coughs up worms andshe's like, oh fuck.
So she pulls out this littledoll that she picked up earlier
in the movie, and inside likethe wind-up toy crank in the
back, there's some antidote.
What is the antidote in there?
Was it like a vial orsomething?
I can't remember.
Wilson (38:14):
Uh what?
Uh yeah, I don't know.
Sorry, the cats are likefighting it out right behind me.
Captain (38:22):
It's very distracting.
Um, I can't remember what thatantidote was.
It was like a vial orsomething.
Um anyway, she hands it to thebaby.
Um, and then she just jumps.
Oh, sorry, she hears a boathorn, and I'm we don't see a
boat, but I'm sure there's aboat nearby that was gonna come
rescue them.
So she jumps into the water tobasically kill herself, and then
(38:44):
the baby is on the boat byitself with antidote.
Um yeah, and then like someCoast Guard eventually come pick
him up.
So that's really the onlysurvivor.
Wilson (38:53):
Um then I was like, yes, this movie's over, but then
there's another scene.
Captain (38:58):
There's an epilogue that says six months later in
South Korea, and we're in ajewelry store, um, and they're
selling those pearls from thisisland because they're like mega
big pearls.
Um, and this lady has like thiswhole freak out in the shop
about trying to returnsomething, and she's slamming
the glass, and as she's doingthat, she's like waking the
parasite eggs, which that'sreally what the giant pearls
(39:20):
are, is is eggs for theseparasites.
So they're like hatching inSouth Korea, so it's gonna
continue to be a problemeverywhere.
Um, yeah, and then the movie'sfinally over, but it's not good,
like it's complicated, it'sboring, um, it's very low budget
(39:42):
in uh production, in acting.
Um it's it's not good.
Wilson (39:48):
How did we find this?
Captain (39:50):
Um, so originally I wanted to do that's a great
question.
Originally I wanted to do, Ithink it's called Splice.
Wilson (39:57):
Yes.
We watched that in college.
Captain (39:59):
Okay, but I can't find it streamable.
Wilson (40:01):
I know.
Oh, yeah, no, you're right.
Like, I look I lookedeverywhere too, and I was like,
you cannot watch this movie.
Captain (40:06):
So this movie has Adrian Brody in it, and he is
like a geneticist that makeshybrid human species, and I was
like really kind of down forthat concept.
Like I had this in my in mylist for a while.
Um, so when we couldn't dothat, I was like, okay, well,
let me look up some otherhuman-genified movie from the
same time period.
(40:27):
So Splice is 2009, so this isthe only movie that really came
up.
Wilson (40:34):
Okay.
Captain (40:35):
That was the same time period and the same general
concept.
Um, but trust me, I much ratherwould have watched Splice.
I like same thing with theother movie I couldn't find.
I was like, Kira Knightley's inthis movie.
What do you mean it's notstreamable?
Like, it's not like I'm lookingfor some weird fucking you
know, movie that would cost$10,000 to make.
(40:56):
Like, real actors are in thesemovies that are not streamable.
Wilson (41:00):
Yeah, I like I wanted to try to find out if there was
like goss around likedistribution rights.
Captain (41:08):
Like Oh.
Wilson (41:10):
I don't I mean, I don't know if there is or not, but I
feel like something has to begoing on that you can't buy it
or rent it anywhere.
Captain (41:20):
Yeah, I it's just yeah, I don't know.
I mean, people are weird whenit comes to human genetically
modifying humans, so maybe ithas something to do.
Maybe somebody who's high uplike doesn't want that movie out
here.
I don't know.
Wilson (41:33):
There is a scene in it I remember that could be sort of
controversial, so I don't knowif that's part of it.
Captain (41:39):
I don't remember the movie.
We watched it, I was there.
Wilson (41:42):
I know, I definitely watched it.
Captain (41:44):
Um well, I won't be able to watch it anytime soon,
so if you want to ruin it forme, what's the controversial
scene?
Wilson (41:52):
Um well, so I think at the time it's what really
grossed me out.
Like they they make thisgenetically modified human, her
him and his like h uh wife orgirlfriend.
Um, but at one point he likehas sex with it, and it's just
like really icky.
Captain (42:13):
Oh no.
Ooh.
Okay.
Well, maybe you know, thismovie's not good, but at least
we didn't have to watchsomething like that.
Um it's giving that movie thatyou made you made us watch that
we stopped watching for the thatweird one.
Kubrick or no, it's not oh, umWe didn't even do it because I
(42:38):
was like, what are these tittiesall over the screen forever?
Wilson (42:43):
Oh, what was that?
I think it started with an N.
Um Necrophilia something.
Wasn't it?
It was what?
Captain (42:51):
The one we just did like two months ago.
Wilson (42:53):
Oh, I was thinking there was one we stopped watching
several years ago.
Uh with um Damn, what is hisname?
He plays Norman Osborne.
Why am I Willem Defoe.
Captain (43:06):
Oh.
Wilson (43:08):
There's like it just starts off at a hundred percent
like a sex scene, and it justfeels it's very weird.
Captain (43:17):
What's the one we just watched that was like based so
far in the future?
Cronenberg.
Cronenberg movie.
Wilson (43:24):
Oh, uh uh Crimes of the Future.
Captain (43:27):
Yes.
Wilson (43:28):
Yeah, that this is yeah, that's that was that was
interesting, yeah.
Captain (43:32):
Um, so some of my like takeaways from this movie is
like there's some weird likeSeventh Heaven Christian value
type something going on withJustin.
Like, because multiple times inthe movie they're like, I don't
have sex for fun.
Like, if I'm gonna be with agirl, like uh it's to really be
with her.
And it comes off like like Iliterally it's giving like
(43:55):
Seventh Heaven, like a a dramaTV show where it's like heavily
overlaid with like values.
I don't know.
Something about it was veryweird.
Um and like it it kind of comesthroughout the movie a couple
of times.
Like, I I don't know whatthat's about.
Um and it yeah, it's just notgood.
Like I wouldn't recommend.
(44:15):
I think if I had to give this arating, did you already put
this on letterbox for yourself?
Wilson (44:20):
I did.
Yeah.
I wasn't sure if you would haveseen it.
Um I didn't look before, yeah.
Captain (44:26):
What'd you give it?
Wilson (44:28):
I think I gave it a one.
Captain (44:32):
I'd probably probably agree with you on that one.
Wilson (44:34):
Yeah, I'm giving it a 10%.
Captain (44:38):
Yeah.
Wilson (44:39):
What what would you uh um Yeah.
Captain (44:44):
You know what's crazy is that the critic or there's no
a critic store, but theaudience score has a 72 and I
don't understand where that'scoming from.
Wilson (44:51):
Oh yeah, I saw some of these like was this like a
special release on iTunes whenpeople are like really excited
about iTunes releases andthey're like, this was like so
good.
I don't know.
Captain (45:02):
Like, I don't You could watch movies on iTunes, like I
don't even remember that.
Wilson (45:07):
I I bought a m like two movies on iTunes like a hundred
years ago, and they're still Ican still see them in my
purchase history, but I was likeWow, that's it.
Yeah, this is like Yeah, likepre-2009.
Captain (45:21):
Like I said, I didn't even know you could do that.
I don't even remember thatbeing an option.
Um But yeah, maybe that's maymaybe it is an iTunes like props
to them.
Wilson (45:33):
Wait, so what what's your what's your percentage for
this?
Captain (45:35):
Oh sorry.
Um yeah, I might give it like a13.
Salad.
Um yeah, I just don't know whatthe fuck they were doing with
this.
Um do you uh have there's likereally no hot goose, also like
there's nothing about this movieonline, unfortunately.
(45:56):
Um do you have a um raise aglass?
Wilson (46:04):
This was this was hard.
Captain (46:06):
Um I have a very specific spot on one.
Wilson (46:10):
I think I'll just say I guess it's not really a raise of
glass, but it's like it's moreof a closer to a pour one out.
I think the moment where Irealized I was like basically
done with this movie, or it wastoo much, is at one point they
like flip over a mattress andfind like a hidden safe under
the bed, and they like I waslike, alright, this is this is
(46:32):
too complicated.
Captain (46:33):
Yeah, they find Dr.
Lane's like uh tapes from uhwhen he was doing all these
experiments.
I've totally forgot about thatscene, yeah.
And but it's like mostly justrepeated images from the
splicing we saw earlier in themovie, and there's like a little
bit more of like behind thescenes.
Um I thought this movie wasgonna go in a different
(46:54):
direction.
Like as they were setting itup, I I didn't mean I I forgot I
wanted to mention this.
As they were setting this movieup, it appears like they tried
to make the perfect human that'spart parasite, um, and it
didn't work, and like chaosensued, and a bunch of people
died, right?
I thought 20 years later theywere gonna come back here and
some scientist, whether it wasMason Lane or somebody else,
(47:18):
made a human that was halfhuman, half parasite.
Like, I thought that's what thedark figure was, where I was
like, oh, they made like intheir mind the perfect human.
Like that would have been kindof cool.
But it's like, nope, it's justthe doctor and he lays got
parasites in him, but like hehimself is not like like maybe
they didn't have the budget forthe special effects or the uh uh
(47:40):
what are those called?
Practical effects, but likethat's what I was expecting.
Like they're gonna be likebasically a parasite, but with
like but with human arms andlegs and size.
Wilson (47:51):
That would have been interesting.
Like that would have been kindof cool, but it's just that we
got this super complicated plot.
Captain (47:56):
Yeah, I was like, oh, they made it.
Like they finally made thething they were trying to make.
Um, but no, that's not what itwas.
Um okay, my rack.
Okay, talk about complicated.
Like, what the fuck is this?
So my rack is early in themovie when all of them are
packed into this car and they'reunloading their stuff.
(48:17):
Uh Kristen and Justin are likechit-chatting a lot.
Kristen's kind of a bitch.
Um, and she's like teasingJustin slash like trying to
sleep with him.
Anyway, at one point she goes,All right, I'm gonna go to bed.
I'm just gonna like um ticklemy accordion and and hit the
hay.
And I was like, girl, what anasty way to say masturbate.
Wilson (48:37):
I remember that.
Captain (48:38):
I literally was like, why would you say it that way?
You could say anything else.
I said I said, tickle myaccordion and then I shit you
not.
This girl pulls out a literalaccordion.
Wilson (48:58):
I was like, I forgot all about that, but I I was like
who wrote that in here?
Captain (49:06):
Who wrote that in here?
Wilson (49:07):
I kind of appreciate that because that had to be a
euphemism, and then they werelike, we're actually gonna give
her an accordion.
Captain (49:13):
Okay, like that was supposed to be a joke, right?
Wilson (49:16):
Like I I feel like it had to have been, or at least it
better have been.
Captain (49:19):
I I was like, I was I literally was like, there's no
fucking way this girl literallyis pulling out an accordion
right now.
Um, and yeah, it must be a jokebecause she doesn't really play
it, play it.
Like she like does a little,but like she doesn't like give
us a jingle.
Um, but I I I think that was myrag because I was like, tickle
(49:41):
my accordion is crazy work.
Crazy work.
Wilson (49:46):
Uh yeah.
Captain (49:48):
Um yeah, so that was my rag.
Um, but in general, though, themovie is not good, and I do not
recommend at all.
Wilson (49:55):
No, absolutely not.
But I I own it now.
Captain (49:58):
Um you bought it?
Wilson (50:00):
Because when I went to go rent it, it was $3.99 to
rent, $3.99 to buy, and I waslike, I mean, I'm gonna buy it.
Captain (50:07):
Why?
I saw that and I rented that.
I don't want to own that.
Wilson (50:12):
That's the second podcast movie, or at least
third, that it was like garbage,but I own now.
Captain (50:17):
Yeah, I feel bad that one you bought was like ten
dollars.
Wilson (50:21):
I I think we just didn't have any other option.
I was like, uh, whatever.
Captain (50:24):
Yeah, that's the ixies.
Um yeah, I don't know.
I'm trying to think of likeadvice I'd pull for them for for
this movie.
I don't fucking uh advice I'dpull for this movie.
Wilson (50:38):
Well, wait, what about our next time?
Captain (50:39):
Oh, yes, sorry.
The movie next week, we'regonna do our little Halloween
movie.
Uh this one is called Pay theGhost.
Um, it's with our best buddyNick Cage.
Wilson (50:50):
Oh, okay.
Captain (50:51):
Have you seen that movie before?
Wilson (50:53):
No, I've never heard of it.
Captain (50:54):
Oh.
It's uh it's uh it's a wildNick Cage ride, it sounds like.
Wilson (51:01):
Okay, cool.
Well, cool.
Pay the Ghost.
I'm excited to see that.
Captain (51:04):
Okay, good.
Uh I'm glad you haven't seenit, because I it's supposed to
be insane.
Like, I don't know.
It's just it it's Nick Cage.
So Okay.
Um yeah.
Wilson (51:15):
What uh what advice do you got for me?
Captain (51:16):
Oh god, I don't.
This movie sucks.
Um, I don't know.
Okay, okay.
Just based on what people allthe science people are doing in
this um in the movie, um, mybiggest takeaway would be um
wear your PPE.
(51:38):
Like, no, there's no gloves,there's no goggles, there's no
sh anything.
So if you haven't learnedanything from COVID or whatever,
that would be my advice is allscience, all lab work, wear your
PPE.
Oh my gosh.
You know, um, I know this waslike a gazillion weeks ago now,
by the time this recording comesout.
Okay, wait, I found somethingreally cool.
Okay, you remember blueberryboyfriend?
Wilson (00:31):
Yeah, and I remember Jay being like, yeah, well, I have
a strawberry girlfriend.
Captain (00:36):
Okay, wait, hold on.
Um look, I found okay, I foundthis on my trip, and I really
like these, but I don't thinkI'm ever gonna be able to get
them anywhere else.
Like, just like blueberryboyfriends, I'm only probably
gonna ever be able to find themin Pittsburgh.
Um, but this is called aNantucket blue.
Wilson (00:55):
Ooh.
Captain (00:56):
And they brew them in Nantucket, and it's blueberry
vodka soda.
Dude.
Litty titty over here withthese.
So good.
Wilson (01:05):
You say litty titty?
Yeah.
Captain (01:06):
Is that what you said?
Yeah, they're so good.
They're really flavorful.
They're good.
Uh honestly, I bought them, andthen like everybody that was
there with me was like, Oh, canI have one?
And then like No.
Well, we just kept buying them.
Like, I bought a box of likefour, like a four-pack, and then
we just kept buying thembecause they were everybody
(01:27):
really liked them.
They were really good.
Wilson (01:29):
Okay.
Captain (01:30):
So have you ever make your way over to uh Martha's
Vineyard or Nantucket?
Wilson (01:35):
Um, I would you It looks like you can order them.
From like yeah, but I went tothe their website.
Captain (01:42):
Yeah, but like what's shipping?
Everything over there is reallyexpensive because it's like
imported.
Wilson (01:50):
Uh let me see what it would be to ship to m it it
won't tell me the shipping untilI put a card in?
No, just a an address, which isfair.
Um, almost there.
Almost there.
I mean But I feel like you cyou should be able to look up
like um where it's not a cheapride.
Captain (02:12):
Like it's like eight hours.
Wilson (02:14):
Unless there's a it looks like they don't ship.
Captain (02:22):
Wow.
The letdown.
Wilson (02:24):
It said no shipping options available.
Captain (02:28):
Yeah, they probably ship over around the islands
over there.
Wilson (02:33):
I'm just surprised, like, you know, you can't look
up like, hey, find a distributornear you.
Captain (02:42):
There aren't any, dude.
Wilson (02:45):
Are you saying they make it all on this little Martha's
Vineyard?
Captain (02:49):
Well, I I think on Nantucket.
Wilson (02:52):
Well, they s at least they ship it off a Nantucket and
send it to Martha's Vineyard.
Captain (02:56):
So, like, but that dude, that's like a 30-minute
ferry ride.
Like, that's easy for that.
Oh yeah.
How'd you even get to oh youhave to click the I read the
agreements or whatever?
Wilson (03:07):
Yeah, you have to say you're like of age.
Captain (03:10):
What's the customer mar match zone US?
Wilson (03:14):
What are you talking about?
Captain (03:16):
I don't know.
Um, let's see if they'lldeliver it to me.
unknown (03:20):
Nope.
Wilson (03:21):
I'm about to be shocked if they're not.
Captain (03:23):
They probably only ship it around the islands.
Um, but it's really good, andI'm probably never gonna be able
to get it again, but um it'sjust a recommendation.
Wilson (03:32):
You can you can get a boat delivery.
There's a $40 minimum minimum.
Um, but I have a feeling youneed to live.
Captain (03:42):
Where uh they could boat to me, yeah.
Probably.
Wilson (03:45):
I mean they could boat to Baltimore.
Captain (03:47):
Oh my god, get out of here.
Wilson (03:51):
Uh um, speaking of Baltimore, I think you had a you
had a little the story toshare.
Captain (03:57):
It's like did you do you know what this means?
Wilson (04:00):
I don't know what the fuck that means.
Captain (04:03):
Okay, so uh I was scrolling on TikTok as we do.
I always bring you somethingweird from there.
Um, but um I was on there and Isomeone brought up the
Baltimore catacombs.
And I was like, what the fuckare you talking about, the
Baltimore catacombs?
But apparently we have like abunch of underground crypts in
(04:25):
Baltimore.
Um and there's over a thousandpeople buried underneath the
city.
Wilson (04:30):
Wow.
Captain (04:31):
And you can actually go on tourist to see like the
three main crypt crypts um fromAre you gonna do it?
I kinda want to, because themost famous person buried down
there is Edgar Allan Poe.
Wilson (04:42):
Oh, okay.
I guess that doesn't surpriseme because didn't he like aren't
there like a bunch of EdgarAllan Poe things in Baltimore?
Captain (04:48):
Yeah, I he I think he so he lived in a couple major
cities throughout his life, butI think he spent a decent amount
of time in Baltimore and thenhe died here.
So that's why people likeassociate him with Baltimore.
But like I know he like livedin Philadelphia for a while, and
like he lived in a couple ofcities on the coast, but yeah,
he died here.
So anyway, yeah, but the umWestminster Hall, they do tours
(05:11):
where you can like buy a ticketand go down into underground
crypts.
But the problem is I don't knowwho would do this with me.
Wilson (05:20):
Oh, Jay's like not down for that.
Captain (05:22):
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Wilson (05:26):
Uh if I ever visit you and it makes sense to do it,
I'll do it.
unknown (05:31):
Yeah.
Captain (05:34):
The pictures are pretty creepy of these underground
crypts.
Wilson (05:38):
I'm just not going in any like tight spaces where
like, oh, this thing caved in,or like, hey guys, let's just do
this other turn in thisrestricted area.
Captain (05:48):
Yeah, don't you send me all of those um divers, those
diver memes?
Yeah, the ones walking.
Wilson (05:57):
Like, hey, I don't care about my family, let me go cave
diving or something like Yeah.
Captain (06:02):
Um, they don't look like too tight.
They do remind me of that moviewe watched um with the
catacombs.
Wilson (06:10):
As above, so below.
Captain (06:11):
Yeah, so below, yeah.
Wilson (06:12):
So below.
What kind of Coke are youdrinking?
Captain (06:16):
Um it's uh Coke Zero, a cigarette fridge, as they say.
Or wait, no, a fridgecigarette.
Wilson (06:24):
I have a uh coat diet coke downstairs.
I know what I should havegotten that.
I'm drinking LaCroix.
Captain (06:30):
Lame.
Wilson (06:31):
Yeah.
Captain (06:33):
Really just gotta take the itch off.
You know, I still um I stillhave my uh shark koozie and I
love it so much.
Best thing is steal Citicon.
Um okay.
Uh oh, yeah, we didn't talkabout it last time, but we both
(06:54):
finally saw weapons.
Wilson (06:56):
Oh yeah.
Captain (06:58):
Um and I just wanted to say it was great.
Wilson (07:01):
That was um It was great.
That was a fantastic movie.
And I think I told you when wefirst tried to watch it, like
halfway through, the fire alarmgot pulled, so everyone had to
leave, and then we're like,we're not waiting for this, so
we went to a different theater.
Captain (07:15):
You get weird movie situations.
Wilson (07:17):
I do.
This is like the third orfourth time something like this
has happened to me.
Um and then we went to thisother theater.
We ended up just starting itbasically at the beginning.
Um, but it was like it was areally cool experience to um
wait for the audience's reactionto one, the scene where um the
main character falls asleep inher car and the like zombie mom
(07:40):
comes out and like snips thehair yeah, but where she like
opens the back door of the car.
Um and then the other time whenJosh Brolin wakes up and he's
like, What the fuck?
Uh so that was enjoyable justto get everyone's uh So you you
saw a decent amount in like youwere a decent amount in the
(08:03):
movie before you had to res rerestart.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was like a really goodchunk.
Captain (08:08):
Wow.
Wilson (08:08):
I was pretty annoyed about it.
Yeah, we watched the first likehalf plus um decided to go have
dinner and then caught the nextshowing at a different theater.
Captain (08:18):
Yeah, that's unfortunate.
It is a really good moviethough.
It was um it was pretty packedwhen we saw it.
Not not super packed, but it wthere was a decent amount of
people in the theater.
Um, and no one like ruined it,so that was good.
I was nervous because likeyou're seeing a movie in the
summer when kids are off school,and like you know what I mean,
but I think that type of movie,it's like you get hooked in
(08:40):
really quickly because you'relike, what the fuck are these
children doing?
Yes.
The scene where um Marcus comesrunning at the main girl, her
like uh principal.
Oh my god.
That is like that could giveyou nightmares.
Oh, that scene like tore me up.
I was like not prepared for uhhim running at her like that.
(09:02):
Um but yeah, it was reallygood.
I um were you the one that sentme that um or maybe I just saw
it, but um it was like everyHalloween party this year, and
it's just like a gazilliongladnesses every I don't know if
I sent that to you or not, butI I have heard that.
Yeah.
And that's that's fair.
(09:22):
Um but yeah, anyway.
It was good.
I I just wanted to we hadn'tactually talked about it, like
that we've both seen it.
What's um why do you keepbringing up Twilight, dude?
What is this Twilight T?
Wilson (09:32):
I I can't help it.
Um, but uh uh in any case, Idon't know if you heard, but
they're re-releasing the moviesin theaters this month and be in
October.
Um uh and they have veryspecific days that they're
showing the movies.
Um so I'm gonna go see thefirst one and the last one in
theaters.
Uh I didn't plan all this tohappen at the same time, but
(09:55):
then also in November, umthey're doing one of those
things, it's like a tour aroundthe country or something where
they do like a liveaccompaniment of a movie's score
while playing the movie.
Captain (10:08):
What?
Sorry, I so they have like awhole orchestra.
No, no, I I sorry, when I Iknow I've seen that before, I
know what you're talking about,but when you first said live
accompaniment, I thought likeKristen Stewart and like I
thought Pattinson and them, likeI thought they were coming.
When you said liveaccompaniment, like no no, but
the orchestra stuff, yeah, I'veseen that before.
Wilson (10:29):
Yeah, I originally just signed up for that because I
thought it'd be cool.
And then, you know, a coupleweeks ago when they announced
they'd be back in theaters.
I was like, well, when am Igonna get to see it in theaters
again?
So I was like, let's do it.
Captain (10:38):
You are fully aware that I have not seen these TVs,
right?
Wilson (10:41):
Yeah, but I send me the memes anyway, because I'm like,
you probably get the gist.
But just like you should justlike get it over with and watch
them.
Captain (10:49):
Sir, I have so much better TV to watch.
Wilson (10:51):
It's really good rotting, like couch rotting
cinema.
Captain (10:56):
I would much rather watch like I don't know.
Wilson (11:00):
All of Down Abbey.
Captain (11:01):
Yeah, if I had yes, all of Doubt Nabbee, or like I like
to watch those really like uhweird uh docudramas.
Wilson (11:09):
Can you the next time you watch one, can you recomm
well can you recommend one?
Because I don't I'm gettingtired of docudramas that like
overall don't really s sayanything, there's no
development, and it's just likeso now I'm nervous to start any
new ones.
Captain (11:27):
Um, yeah.
How sad how sad do you want itto be?
Wilson (11:34):
Sad's okay.
Did you watch the Natalia Graceone with Ellen Pompeo?
Captain (11:39):
Uh and Mark Duplace.
Wilson (11:41):
I think it's Mark Duplass.
Captain (11:44):
Uh, I don't know.
Wilson (11:46):
That one got mixed reviews, but I kind of Oh, with
the Orphan?
Captain (11:50):
No, I did not see that.
I've watched the movie like toomany times to want to watch the
documentary or the docudrama.
Wilson (11:56):
Uh that's fair.
I didn't watch season two ofthe documentary because I didn't
seem like it was really gonnasay anything new.
Captain (12:04):
Hmm.
Did you did you watch Drinkseason two?
The Drinks?
What was that?
You watch The Drinks, right?
The D I'm sorry.
You've never watched The Jinx?
Wilson (12:19):
Dude, if you I've never even heard of this.
Captain (12:22):
Oh my god.
Don't spoil anything foryourself.
If you want to watch some typeof true crime, you gotta watch
the Jinx.
Wilson (12:30):
Who the cuss?
Captain (12:34):
Don't spoil anything!
Wilson (12:35):
Why does this say release 2015 and 2024?
Captain (12:39):
Because season one and season two are that far apart.
Wilson (12:44):
Okay, let me add it to the list.
Captain (12:46):
Dude, Robert Durst's story is insane.
I can't believe I haven't seenthat.
On Rotten Tomatoes, it has a 90and a 91.
Wilson (12:54):
Jeez.
Alright, alright.
Captain (12:56):
The jinx is like boots down.
Wilson (13:01):
Boots the house down.
Captain (13:02):
Seriously.
Technically not a docudrama,but it's more important that you
watch this before anythingelse.
Wilson (13:11):
Uh we'll see about that.
Captain (13:13):
I mean, in that genre in that general genre.
Wilson (13:16):
Oh, oh, oh.
Okay, okay, okay.
I can I can make that happen.
Captain (13:19):
Okay.
Um here we have.
Do you want to bring us in?
Wilson (13:25):
It's time.
I think it's time.
Captain (13:27):
Okay.
It's a gem here.
Um, okay, welcome to the wait,which one is oh, this is 170.
Welcome to the 178th episode ofthe Red Rum Podcast, where we
review horror movies whileenjoying a dull beverage or two,
thanks.
And I'm Captain.
Wilson (13:46):
And I'm Wilson.
Captain (13:47):
And this week we're reviewing the 2010 American Hara
film.
I pretty sure this wentstraight to DVD.
Wilson (13:54):
That does not surprise me.
Captain (13:55):
I I like didn't have to be.
Wilson (13:57):
I would have been shocked if this went to
theaters.
Captain (14:01):
I didn't see any any box office stuff.
I I'm pretty sure.
And then there was somethingabout the DVD release, and I was
like, yeah, that seems likethat was the only release.
Um okay, so this was writtenand directed by Gabriel Cohen.
Um, he was originally amusician.
He's actually more known forthe band that he formed with
(14:22):
David David Arquette.
Wilson (14:23):
Um that was the hot gosh that I had, so whatever, it's
fine.
Captain (14:27):
Oh sorry.
Well, yeah, he's usually mostlyknown for his musician stuff
with David Arquette.
Um they helped write the scorefor Scream 2 and Scream 3.
Um, but I don't think theybanned anymore.
I don't think.
Um why are you making thatpiece?
Wilson (14:46):
I was reading more of his um What do you have do they
have a band name?
Captain (14:50):
I I didn't find that.
Wilson (14:52):
Yeah, I don't I'm sure if I like tried hard I could
maybe find it.
Um They I saw so it says afterhe graduated from school he like
you know directed this movieand it became the number one
horror rental on iTunes.
On iTunes Sorry, number one wasthis when iTunes came out.
Captain (15:17):
Like what I don't know.
I I I I don't know.
Wilson (15:22):
I'm gonna need some like factual backups on that.
Captain (15:25):
What's this man's name?
Gabrielle?
Wilson (15:28):
URL didn't even go anywhere.
Captain (15:32):
I mean, there's lots of lies on the internet.
I don't see what I need a bandname, to be honest.
I don't know.
Wilson (15:42):
I don't know, man.
Captain (15:44):
Okay, so um jumping into oh yeah, so jumping into
the cast yeah.
Oh yeah, I don't know if he'sdirected anything else that was
worth mentioning.
Okay, so jumping in the cast,we have oh gosh.
Oh gosh.
Mercia Monroe.
Wilson (16:04):
Oh, sorry.
Um I found the band's name ifyou're curious.
Captain (16:06):
Oh yeah, what is it?
Wilson (16:08):
It's ear 2000, and there's no space between ear and
2000.
Captain (16:13):
Ugh.
I roll.
Wilson (16:14):
And he goes by Gabe.
Captain (16:16):
Okay.
Um okay, uh, Mercia Monroe, Ithink, um, plays Jamie, the main
girl.
Um, she's mostly known for hercomedy drama shows, Heart of
Dixie, and there's some showcalled Episodes.
Never seen it.
Um her brother in this film isplayed by Christopher Strand.
(16:40):
I didn't really find anythingfor him.
Um, and then she's got twofriends, so Nora Kirkpatrick as
Kristen.
Kristen's probably the mostknown person in here.
She um is known for her ABCfamily show Greek.
Um, she was in the office um asDwight's girlfriend for a
season as well.
(17:00):
Is that why you recognize her?
Wilson (17:04):
Yeah.
Captain (17:05):
She looks like somebody else.
She looks like a differentblonde actress that was more
popular in like this time periodor earlier.
Wilson (17:15):
DM her on Instagram and tell her that.
Captain (17:17):
I like couldn't re find I look like somebody that's
more popular than you.
I like couldn't remember theactress's name, and it's gonna
be so hard to find her, so uhwhatever.
Um okay, and then Brian Krauseplays Marco.
He's mostly known for his rolein Charmed.
Did you watch Charmed?
Wilson (17:36):
Oh hell yeah.
Captain (17:37):
Hell yeah, brother.
Um do you remember Leo?
Wilson (17:41):
Oh yeah.
Captain (17:42):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Wilson (17:43):
He's like a main character.
Captain (17:44):
Okay, well he was uncharmed.
Um and he played the lead rolein some horror movie called
Sleepwalkers.
I wonder if that's good.
Oh, are you looking it up?
Wilson (17:55):
Uh it did it looks like it probably broke even.
The cast is pretty good.
Captain (18:00):
On the least.
Wilson (18:02):
On the least.
Yeah, always adding shit to thelist.
As a 29%.
So this might be a bad movie.
I feel like there's like someslight cultiness maybe to this.
Captain (18:15):
Wow, I love the movie poster.
Wilson (18:17):
This yeah, like this looks like it'd be good.
Like, if you look at that cast,that's a lot of a lot of meat
on the bones.
Is this a Stephen King?
Oh.
Wait.
Uh is it?
Yes.
Well, okay, he at least wrotethe movie.
I don't know if that means healso wrote the like if there was
a book for it too.
Captain (18:40):
I have no idea.
Um, and then Larkin.
Oh, sorry, I always I tried sohard not to do that.
Um Richie Ryle, real, um, asLarkin, he's probably the most
famous person.
He's done a gazillion characterroles.
Like, I you would recognize himas like kind of like that
little um, I don't know.
(19:00):
I don't want to be mean, butlike a little frumpy.
Wilson (19:05):
Um yeah, he's just he appears in everything.
Captain (19:07):
Yeah.
Wilson (19:08):
But you like don't really know his name.
Captain (19:10):
Yeah, I I honestly tried to figure out where I knew
him from from his list, and Icouldn't tell because like he's
just yeah, he's in everything.
Um, but he's mostly known forplaying Walt Finerty in Grounded
for Life.
Um, and he's done a bunch ofappearances in Star Trek, and he
was also in Halloween too.
Do you think you recognize himfrom Star Trek?
Wilson (19:31):
Um, I don't know.
They have so many, like, somany famous people in there, and
they put them in all this weirdmakeup usually.
I don't remember him offhand,but if I saw his character, I'd
probably be like, oh yeah.
Captain (19:44):
Do you think he's an alien?
Wilson (19:47):
In real life?
Captain (19:49):
In Star Trek.
Wilson (19:52):
Oh.
I mean well, now I'm curious,so I have to look it up.
Alright, it's fine.
It's not a big crazy.
How do you spell this re okay?
Got it.
Um I'm gonna answer you in tenor eleven seconds.
Okay.
Um, it looks like he was alwaysdressed as a human.
Captain (20:12):
Okay.
Um, you know what?
Wilson (20:14):
I recognize him from Office Space.
Captain (20:16):
Oh yeah, that's where I know him from too.
I've seen the movie like fourtimes.
Wilson (20:22):
It's a good movie.
Captain (20:23):
I think it was a pretty good movie.
Um, okay, so let's jump inhere.
Um so it starts off with umwords on the screen that says
one in a four Americans have aparasite.
Dot dot dot.
Many of them are deadly.
Um The words on the screen goby so fast.
I actually missed them.
Like they went by so fast.
(20:43):
I don't even know if you caughtthem.
Wilson (20:46):
Um I might have paused, but yeah, they were fast.
Captain (20:49):
Um but anyway, we get um, like uh some zombie runaway
looking man was like chasedafter cops and he like ran into
some water and he's likescreaming in pain, and it seems
like that killed him.
Um there's not really a lot ofuh detail into that, but then it
(21:10):
cuts to uh in 19 what is it?
Um in 19 ohine on Cuddle HuckIsland, some scientists called
Mason Lane used microscopicparasites to advance human
evolution.
And we don't get like we get itin pieces, like we don't get
all of that at the beginning.
We we get that he um first uhgenetically modified uh clams so
(21:35):
that the pearls were likereally big.
Um and I don't know who toldyou that you can leap from clams
to human beings, but that'scrazy work.
Um But yeah, he uh was doingsome experiments that resulted
in stronger, smarter, healthyhealthier humans that had like
(21:57):
parasites inside of them.
Um but like some type of chaoshappened when he was presenting
it and um like a bunch of peopledied on the island.
And like we're like I said,we're getting like cuts of this
kind of in and out.
Wilson (22:11):
Um I think this part went like way too fast.
Like I was I did like get well,I think I was already getting
the impression I was like, thismovie's gonna be something, so I
got distracted and missed partof that explanation.
I was like, I probably shouldhave heard that, but we're gonna
keep going.
Captain (22:27):
Yeah, it I mean it's just a lot of like scenes of
them doing some type of scienceand then like accidents or
people are dying.
Um they're like not wearing anyPPE, like I I I don't know
what's happening.
Um, but and then I also missedwhen it cuts to present day and
like a group of people aregetting in a car and coming back
to the island.
I was like, who the fuck arethese people?
(22:47):
Like I miss that because theywent through it so fast and
you're introduced to like sixpeople really quickly.
So it took me a while torealize what who they were.
But the main girl, Jamie, shecame back to the island to clean
out her um great uncle's house,this Mason Lane guy who died.
Um, and she's there with herboyfriend, what's his name?
(23:08):
Marco or something, and thenhe's she's there with her
stepbrother and herstepbrother's girlfriend.
Well, actually, no, they'renot.
I don't know if they're gonnabe.
Wilson (23:18):
Their relationship between like all their however
they were all related orconnected was way too
complicated for this movie.
Captain (23:25):
Yeah, I I cause I don't know why she's there, because
they said they weren't dating,and he was like, I don't sleep
with women just to sleep withwomen.
But like, why the fuck was shethere then?
Who is she?
I I don't And then there wasthat other girl, Sarah with a
baby.
I was like, Who the fuck isthat?
I ha I honestly have no idea.
Um I don't know.
But yeah, so this is twentyyears later.
(23:47):
They they go come back to theislands, Jamie and Marco and
then Justin and Kristen.
Um Oh, Jamie's fatherspearheaded the original
project.
I thought that was her didn'tshe say uncle?
Wilson (24:03):
I think it was her dad.
Captain (24:05):
Oh, maybe it was Kristen's uncle?
Maybe that was like theircousin?
I don't know.
Um anyway.
So they get back to the island.
Wilson (24:14):
Um there's they're supposed to get like two million
dollars for it to pay off likedebts.
Captain (24:23):
Oh, yeah, that's why they really came back, yeah.
Because they didn't want tocome back, but because a bunch
of people died when they werekids.
But yes, the property'ssupposed to be worth two million
dollars.
So they were like gonna cleanit out, sell it, take all the
money and yeah, get lifetogether.
Also, Jason is some type ofsick and he apparently he needs
medication, which they weregonna use the money for.
They don't really talk aboutdetails.
Wilson (24:44):
Missed that.
Captain (24:46):
They go through it really fast.
Um, and then um, yeah, so Ithink it starts out with um
Kristen um is like going on arun and she is spray painting
trees while she's going on arun, which in my notes I was
like, that's fucking crazybecause she's on a clear trail.
Like, why is she spray paintingtrees when she's running on
(25:09):
like an obvious trail?
But there's a reason for that,which comes up later in the
movie.
Um, and then you see thatsomebody is watching her, like
dressed in all black.
Um, so that's the first timeyou see that character.
Um and then I think uh early onshe res she gets a visit from
Larkin Um, who informs her thatshe's not gonna be able to sell
(25:33):
her property.
Like he was like, Yeah, this isnot worth two million dollars.
You can't sell it because it'slike either the land itself is
owned by the city or like thehouse or something, and he was
like, I can offer you 75k andthat's it.
Wilson (25:49):
Yeah, I think he was trying to say it's like the town
has to approve a sale, andwe're not going to approve a
sale, so we will give you$75,000 for your trouble, but
you cannot sell it.
Captain (26:01):
Yeah, and I she asked she says, Who's the city council
that I can talk to?
And he goes, Well, I'm the headof city council.
Um Yes.
Um, and then there's also ascene around this time where
like it's clear that like hedidn't want Jamie to come back
here.
Um, and he kind of like uh Idon't know, like, is mad at
(26:23):
somebody for bringing him.
I was really confused by thatscience scene that was
happening, like, in present daythat happens around this time
where like uh a lady is left inthe lab by herself while the
sheriff and the council city manare talking, and then like she
gets parasited.
(26:43):
Do you know what that like thatwas modern day, right?
Like that wasn't a flashback.
So like they're still doingparasite studies.
Wilson (26:52):
I think they weren't supposed to be doing it.
Captain (26:54):
Yeah.
Well, she was left in there byherself.
Like he explains to her what'shappening.
Like, these parasites are usedto make the perfect human.
Um, like we got the pearl, andwe were like, okay, cool, let's
do it on people.
Um and they mention how Jamiewas supposed to be brought back
here because she has some typeof immunity, but or she knows
(27:14):
something about the immunity,but like nobody knows what she
knows about it.
Um, and she's the only personthat would know.
Um it was very confusing whenthey first bring it up, too,
which uh yeah, that's the moviefor you.
Um and then yeah, so um what uhJustin gets um parasited when
(27:36):
he get jumps in that water,right?
Wilson (27:39):
Uh in the river.
He almost did, but I think itwas while he was having sex with
the girl on the beach and itwent in his foot.
Captain (27:48):
Oh yeah, that was so nasty.
Um yes.
So yes.
He gets it in his foot, andthen he gets sick really
quickly.
Like he's like looks rabid,he's like uh uh I don't know,
like in pain, and you can seethe parasites wiggling
underneath his skin.
(28:08):
Um, and then like everybody'son a frantic search for a
doctor, which like all thesecharacters come in that I'm like
like the town's doctor andSarah's friend, and I don't
know.
But anyway, when they're goingthrough the town, like it's
clear, like us as the audience,we can see that like a bunch of
people have already had parasiteattacks.
Like there are dead people inhouses.
We saw that scene earlier oflike that little girl Emily that
(28:31):
like gets parasited and likethe parasites leap out of her
body and attack her parents inbed.
Um it was a really fast scene.
I don't know if you rememberthat.
Um, but it's already like afull outbreak in the city, but
like I I guess the citycouncilman is trying to keep it
on the DL.
Um and um they basically don'tneed to find a j a doctor
(28:55):
because Justin says, Justkidding, I'm fine, right?
Or that was after his nightout.
Wilson (29:04):
Yeah, I think so.
This is like so a good chunk ofthis movie I would just tune
back in periodically, but thenscroll on my phone because I was
like I I got halfway into thismovie and I was like, how is
there still so much left?
Captain (29:20):
Yeah, I it's really it's so talk about like ABC th
movie or like a bay I mean thisis so low budget, this movie,
and way more complicated than itneeds to be.
Wilson (29:34):
Oh my gosh, yeah.
And just the pacing was like Idon't know, it was really rough.
Captain (29:39):
Um so yeah, Justin before he gets better, he
basically like uh wakes up inthe middle of the night, he like
sexually assaults Kristen.
I I don't know what that was,and she was like, I'm sleeping.
So then he leaves.
Do you remember that?
He like sticks his fingers downher pants and she's like, I'm
sleeping.
Wilson (29:58):
Uh I remember uh something.
About a bedroom scene, yeah.
Captain (30:01):
Um, and then he goes to the bar, and when he's in the
bar, he gets into a fight, um,and his heightened abilities
make it easy for him to win.
Like he he like, you know fullywins over his opponents.
Um and he was talking to a girlin the bar, which is why the
fight started, and he um chokesthat girl out and rips out part
of her neck.
(30:21):
Um and you can see like wormscoming out of his body,
parasites coming out of his bodywhen he's like making out with
her slash choking her.
Um, because she was like, Whatthe heck is that?
Like they're coming out of hisears.
Um, but he kind of wakes up thenext morning unsure of what
happened, unsure if that was agood dream or not, and he like
seems fine.
Um, however, he vomits out likeparasites in the toilet um that
(30:45):
morning.
Um talk about like a poor oneout.
That was like the most nastiestvomit I've ever seen.
There was like live wormscrawling around in it.
It was so nasty.
Wilson (30:55):
It was nasty.
Captain (30:57):
Um okay, and then I think Kristen she keeps going
out on runs every morning orevery day, and she finds this
gigantic mass cemetery graveyardwhere like it's just a bunch of
uh like wooden stakes, woodenuh crosses.
Um, Wikipedia says like uhthree-quarters of the town died
(31:18):
when this first outbreakhappened.
I don't remember them sayingthat, but I don't either.
Wilson (31:23):
Apparently Why would you stay there at that point?
Captain (31:26):
Why would anyone stay there?
It's like Snake Island, it'slike let it be just be Parasite
Island.
Yeah, it's not that importantum if you're gonna die there.
So anyway, she's out on a run,um, just finds this mass
graveyard, but then a mysteriousfigure um like I think uh grabs
her and attacks her um whileshe's out there.
(31:46):
Um and then I think uh we getto see like that figure is like
mostly a parasite person.
Like you don't get to see theirface, but like a gigantic
parasite um looks just likealien, actually.
Like the worms the worm tongueum comes out and attacks her.
Wilson (32:07):
Um yeah, shoves itself down her throat.
Captain (32:10):
Yeah, it's um definitely CGI, it could be
worse, right?
Wilson (32:15):
Yeah.
Um I wish there were practicaleffects.
I know that's that could beexpensive.
That character was kind ofreally like mean though.
Like the first quarter of themovie, I was like, this
character is insufferable.
Captain (32:30):
Yeah, no, Kristen sucks.
She's terrible.
Yeah.
I mean yeah.
The only person that wasactually like I enjoyed was
Jamie's boyfriend.
I think he the guy fromCharmed, I think.
Wilson (32:44):
Oh, yeah, he was just like a fine character.
Captain (32:48):
Um but yeah, so she gets attacked, um, and then I
think the doctor finally showsup that said, um, hey, you were
looking for me like two daysago, like I'm here for Justin.
And then they explain the umsymptoms to Justin and how he's
better, and he goes, Oh no,you're in like he's like really
(33:08):
diseased and he's sick, and likeyou've got to get out of here,
and like um, you know, they saidhe left five minutes ago, and
then like this huge artillery oflike 12 people show up that are
like here to hunt him downbecause they they know that this
parasite uh uh a pandemicepidemic on the island is
(33:29):
happening, and they're just likenot telling the citizens or the
people that are here to visit.
So like they know that this ishappening and they know that
that's what he's got, andthey're just shooting anybody
that has parasite, which doesn'tseem to actually do anything.
Like the parasite just jumps tothe next person.
Wilson (33:44):
Yeah, they don't really seem that concerned about like,
yeah, you could kill the personright next to you, but there
could be worms all over theground and it just would need to
crawl up your leg.
Captain (33:52):
Like, I don't I mean the worms die with water.
Why aren't we just why don't wejust have cups of water
available to us?
Wilson (34:03):
Couldn't tell ya.
Captain (34:05):
My laptop's gonna die.
Um yeah, so they um go throughand they like um um like shoot
everybody that looks like theymight have had the parasite, and
then they also um like salt theground, which I don't know if
they really explain that.
Um I think it's I think themain thing is the uh the
(34:29):
parasites don't like salt waterslash salt, so like salt plants
are um but anyway the doctordoes some dumb shit when he's
out there where he doesn't tapehis pant legs before walking
outside, which is like thatshould be a requirement.
The fact that they handed himtape while he was already
outside was so fucking stupid.
But a parasite jumps up hisleg, and before he even has a
(34:52):
chance to like see if theparasite bit him or do anything
about it, they just shoot thedoctor.
I'm like, I'm sorry, you shotyour one town doctor.
Like, really?
We weren't gonna get any uh wayto I don't know, remediate
that.
I I don't know.
Um I I was just like you couldnot I was like damn, I was
(35:14):
really surprised they shot thedoctor.
Um anyway, it cuts back to thescene with Kristen and um the
mysterious figure, and um he isactually Dr.
Uh Mason Lane this whole time.
So the guy that they came toclean the house out, he's
actually not dead, he was alivethe whole time, and he was like
(35:35):
secretly continuing thisparasite perfect human research.
Um and he also wants he alsolike kidnaps Jamie because she
has supposedly has the anecdotefor sorry, not anecdote,
antidote for I guess thisparasite disease.
(35:56):
Um but she swears she doesn'tknow what the antidote is.
Um and they he's like whatstraps her to a table like
Frankenstein the worst uhrestraint because she gets out
of it almost immediately.
It's like a theater, like itreminds me of like a play, like
a like you know what I mean,like a high school play.
Wilson (36:19):
You mean just like they're just going through the
motions, but it's just likewhatever.
Captain (36:23):
Yeah, that's yeah.
Um but she gets out and like Ithink they argue a bit, but um,
she basically traps him in a thelab um and Larkin comes to
help, um, but they just killkill Mason um with like water.
But again, it releases all theparasites like just because his
body's dead doesn't mean thatthey're dead.
(36:44):
Like they just try to find thenext host.
Um there's a weird scene wherelike as they're getting away
from him, um, they find thatwhen their friend Sarah's dead,
and I'm like, damn, she's got afucking baby.
You know what I mean?
Wilson (36:59):
I kind of forgot about her.
Captain (37:01):
Yeah, but they the girl has a baby at the end, like
with her, no?
Wilson (37:05):
I was wondering how like I had forgotten, I was like, I
I don't know how you ended upwith this baby that you're
taking on a boat, but I'm justgonna roll with it.
Captain (37:13):
Yeah, so she decides that she's gonna save herself
and this baby that doesn't havea parasite, because everyone
else probably does.
So she like gets in a boat umto get away.
Jason is like tr trying tofollow her, but you know, he has
a parasite in him, so he can't,he's gonna get melty if he goes
into the water.
Um and Dr.
Larkin basically saves them.
(37:34):
Like he fights Jason until likeshe can get away.
Um and then she it literallyit's her and a baby and nothing
else on this rowboat.
And I guess they're justdrifting into the ocean
overnight.
And they when she's like, it'sthe next morning, um, and she is
obvious and obviously infected.
(37:55):
Like she coughs up worms andshe's like, oh fuck.
So she pulls out this littledoll that she picked up earlier
in the movie, and inside likethe wind-up toy crank in the
back, there's some antidote.
What is the antidote in there?
Was it like a vial orsomething?
I can't remember.
Wilson (38:14):
Uh what?
Uh yeah, I don't know.
Sorry, the cats are likefighting it out right behind me.
Captain (38:22):
It's very distracting.
Um, I can't remember what thatantidote was.
It was like a vial orsomething.
Um anyway, she hands it to thebaby.
Um, and then she just jumps.
Oh, sorry, she hears a boathorn, and I'm we don't see a
boat, but I'm sure there's aboat nearby that was gonna come
rescue them.
So she jumps into the water tobasically kill herself, and then
(38:44):
the baby is on the boat byitself with antidote.
Um yeah, and then like someCoast Guard eventually come pick
him up.
So that's really the onlysurvivor.
Wilson (38:53):
Um then I was like, yes, this movie's over, but then
there's another scene.
Captain (38:58):
There's an epilogue that says six months later in
South Korea, and we're in ajewelry store, um, and they're
selling those pearls from thisisland because they're like mega
big pearls.
Um, and this lady has like thiswhole freak out in the shop
about trying to returnsomething, and she's slamming
the glass, and as she's doingthat, she's like waking the
parasite eggs, which that'sreally what the giant pearls
(39:20):
are, is is eggs for theseparasites.
So they're like hatching inSouth Korea, so it's gonna
continue to be a problemeverywhere.
Um, yeah, and then the movie'sfinally over, but it's not good,
like it's complicated, it'sboring, um, it's very low budget
(39:42):
in uh production, in acting.
Um it's it's not good.
Wilson (39:48):
How did we find this?
Captain (39:50):
Um, so originally I wanted to do that's a great
question.
Originally I wanted to do, Ithink it's called Splice.
Wilson (39:57):
Yes.
We watched that in college.
Captain (39:59):
Okay, but I can't find it streamable.
Wilson (40:01):
I know.
Oh, yeah, no, you're right.
Like, I look I lookedeverywhere too, and I was like,
you cannot watch this movie.
Captain (40:06):
So this movie has Adrian Brody in it, and he is
like a geneticist that makeshybrid human species, and I was
like really kind of down forthat concept.
Like I had this in my in mylist for a while.
Um, so when we couldn't dothat, I was like, okay, well,
let me look up some otherhuman-genified movie from the
same time period.
(40:27):
So Splice is 2009, so this isthe only movie that really came
up.
Wilson (40:34):
Okay.
Captain (40:35):
That was the same time period and the same general
concept.
Um, but trust me, I much ratherwould have watched Splice.
I like same thing with theother movie I couldn't find.
I was like, Kira Knightley's inthis movie.
What do you mean it's notstreamable?
Like, it's not like I'm lookingfor some weird fucking you
know, movie that would cost$10,000 to make.
(40:56):
Like, real actors are in thesemovies that are not streamable.
Wilson (41:00):
Yeah, I like I wanted to try to find out if there was
like goss around likedistribution rights.
Captain (41:08):
Like Oh.
Wilson (41:10):
I don't I mean, I don't know if there is or not, but I
feel like something has to begoing on that you can't buy it
or rent it anywhere.
Captain (41:20):
Yeah, I it's just yeah, I don't know.
I mean, people are weird whenit comes to human genetically
modifying humans, so maybe ithas something to do.
Maybe somebody who's high uplike doesn't want that movie out
here.
I don't know.
Wilson (41:33):
There is a scene in it I remember that could be sort of
controversial, so I don't knowif that's part of it.
Captain (41:39):
I don't remember the movie.
We watched it, I was there.
Wilson (41:42):
I know, I definitely watched it.
Captain (41:44):
Um well, I won't be able to watch it anytime soon,
so if you want to ruin it forme, what's the controversial
scene?
Wilson (41:52):
Um well, so I think at the time it's what really
grossed me out.
Like they they make thisgenetically modified human, her
him and his like h uh wife orgirlfriend.
Um, but at one point he likehas sex with it, and it's just
like really icky.
Captain (42:13):
Oh no.
Ooh.
Okay.
Well, maybe you know, thismovie's not good, but at least
we didn't have to watchsomething like that.
Um it's giving that movie thatyou made you made us watch that
we stopped watching for the thatweird one.
Kubrick or no, it's not oh, umWe didn't even do it because I
(42:38):
was like, what are these tittiesall over the screen forever?
Wilson (42:43):
Oh, what was that?
I think it started with an N.
Um Necrophilia something.
Wasn't it?
It was what?
Captain (42:51):
The one we just did like two months ago.
Wilson (42:53):
Oh, I was thinking there was one we stopped watching
several years ago.
Uh with um Damn, what is hisname?
He plays Norman Osborne.
Why am I Willem Defoe.
Captain (43:06):
Oh.
Wilson (43:08):
There's like it just starts off at a hundred percent
like a sex scene, and it justfeels it's very weird.
Captain (43:17):
What's the one we just watched that was like based so
far in the future?
Cronenberg.
Cronenberg movie.
Wilson (43:24):
Oh, uh uh Crimes of the Future.
Captain (43:27):
Yes.
Wilson (43:28):
Yeah, that this is yeah, that's that was that was
interesting, yeah.
Captain (43:32):
Um, so some of my like takeaways from this movie is
like there's some weird likeSeventh Heaven Christian value
type something going on withJustin.
Like, because multiple times inthe movie they're like, I don't
have sex for fun.
Like, if I'm gonna be with agirl, like uh it's to really be
with her.
And it comes off like like Iliterally it's giving like
(43:55):
Seventh Heaven, like a a dramaTV show where it's like heavily
overlaid with like values.
I don't know.
Something about it was veryweird.
Um and like it it kind of comesthroughout the movie a couple
of times.
Like, I I don't know whatthat's about.
Um and it yeah, it's just notgood.
Like I wouldn't recommend.
(44:15):
I think if I had to give this arating, did you already put
this on letterbox for yourself?
Wilson (44:20):
I did.
Yeah.
I wasn't sure if you would haveseen it.
Um I didn't look before, yeah.
Captain (44:26):
What'd you give it?
Wilson (44:28):
I think I gave it a one.
Captain (44:32):
I'd probably probably agree with you on that one.
Wilson (44:34):
Yeah, I'm giving it a 10%.
Captain (44:38):
Yeah.
Wilson (44:39):
What what would you uh um Yeah.
Captain (44:44):
You know what's crazy is that the critic or there's no
a critic store, but theaudience score has a 72 and I
don't understand where that'scoming from.
Wilson (44:51):
Oh yeah, I saw some of these like was this like a
special release on iTunes whenpeople are like really excited
about iTunes releases andthey're like, this was like so
good.
I don't know.
Captain (45:02):
Like, I don't You could watch movies on iTunes, like I
don't even remember that.
Wilson (45:07):
I I bought a m like two movies on iTunes like a hundred
years ago, and they're still Ican still see them in my
purchase history, but I was likeWow, that's it.
Yeah, this is like Yeah, likepre-2009.
Captain (45:21):
Like I said, I didn't even know you could do that.
I don't even remember thatbeing an option.
Um But yeah, maybe that's maymaybe it is an iTunes like props
to them.
Wilson (45:33):
Wait, so what what's your what's your percentage for
this?
Captain (45:35):
Oh sorry.
Um yeah, I might give it like a13.
Salad.
Um yeah, I just don't know whatthe fuck they were doing with
this.
Um do you uh have there's likereally no hot goose, also like
there's nothing about this movieonline, unfortunately.
(45:56):
Um do you have a um raise aglass?
Wilson (46:04):
This was this was hard.
Captain (46:06):
Um I have a very specific spot on one.
Wilson (46:10):
I think I'll just say I guess it's not really a raise of
glass, but it's like it's moreof a closer to a pour one out.
I think the moment where Irealized I was like basically
done with this movie, or it wastoo much, is at one point they
like flip over a mattress andfind like a hidden safe under
the bed, and they like I waslike, alright, this is this is
(46:32):
too complicated.
Captain (46:33):
Yeah, they find Dr.
Lane's like uh tapes from uhwhen he was doing all these
experiments.
I've totally forgot about thatscene, yeah.
And but it's like mostly justrepeated images from the
splicing we saw earlier in themovie, and there's like a little
bit more of like behind thescenes.
Um I thought this movie wasgonna go in a different
(46:54):
direction.
Like as they were setting itup, I I didn't mean I I forgot I
wanted to mention this.
As they were setting this movieup, it appears like they tried
to make the perfect human that'spart parasite, um, and it
didn't work, and like chaosensued, and a bunch of people
died, right?
I thought 20 years later theywere gonna come back here and
some scientist, whether it wasMason Lane or somebody else,
(47:18):
made a human that was halfhuman, half parasite.
Like, I thought that's what thedark figure was, where I was
like, oh, they made like intheir mind the perfect human.
Like that would have been kindof cool.
But it's like, nope, it's justthe doctor and he lays got
parasites in him, but like hehimself is not like like maybe
they didn't have the budget forthe special effects or the uh uh
(47:40):
what are those called?
Practical effects, but likethat's what I was expecting.
Like they're gonna be likebasically a parasite, but with
like but with human arms andlegs and size.
Wilson (47:51):
That would have been interesting.
Like that would have been kindof cool, but it's just that we
got this super complicated plot.
Captain (47:56):
Yeah, I was like, oh, they made it.
Like they finally made thething they were trying to make.
Um, but no, that's not what itwas.
Um okay, my rack.
Okay, talk about complicated.
Like, what the fuck is this?
So my rack is early in themovie when all of them are
packed into this car and they'reunloading their stuff.
(48:17):
Uh Kristen and Justin are likechit-chatting a lot.
Kristen's kind of a bitch.
Um, and she's like teasingJustin slash like trying to
sleep with him.
Anyway, at one point she goes,All right, I'm gonna go to bed.
I'm just gonna like um ticklemy accordion and and hit the
hay.
And I was like, girl, what anasty way to say masturbate.
Wilson (48:37):
I remember that.
Captain (48:38):
I literally was like, why would you say it that way?
You could say anything else.
I said I said, tickle myaccordion and then I shit you
not.
This girl pulls out a literalaccordion.
Wilson (48:58):
I was like, I forgot all about that, but I I was like
who wrote that in here?
Captain (49:06):
Who wrote that in here?
Wilson (49:07):
I kind of appreciate that because that had to be a
euphemism, and then they werelike, we're actually gonna give
her an accordion.
Captain (49:13):
Okay, like that was supposed to be a joke, right?
Wilson (49:16):
Like I I feel like it had to have been, or at least it
better have been.
Captain (49:19):
I I was like, I was I literally was like, there's no
fucking way this girl literallyis pulling out an accordion
right now.
Um, and yeah, it must be a jokebecause she doesn't really play
it, play it.
Like she like does a little,but like she doesn't like give
us a jingle.
Um, but I I I think that was myrag because I was like, tickle
(49:41):
my accordion is crazy work.
Crazy work.
Wilson (49:46):
Uh yeah.
Captain (49:48):
Um yeah, so that was my rag.
Um, but in general, though, themovie is not good, and I do not
recommend at all.
Wilson (49:55):
No, absolutely not.
But I I own it now.
Captain (49:58):
Um you bought it?
Wilson (50:00):
Because when I went to go rent it, it was $3.99 to
rent, $3.99 to buy, and I waslike, I mean, I'm gonna buy it.
Captain (50:07):
Why?
I saw that and I rented that.
I don't want to own that.
Wilson (50:12):
That's the second podcast movie, or at least
third, that it was like garbage,but I own now.
Captain (50:17):
Yeah, I feel bad that one you bought was like ten
dollars.
Wilson (50:21):
I I think we just didn't have any other option.
I was like, uh, whatever.
Captain (50:24):
Yeah, that's the ixies.
Um yeah, I don't know.
I'm trying to think of likeadvice I'd pull for them for for
this movie.
I don't fucking uh advice I'dpull for this movie.
Wilson (50:38):
Well, wait, what about our next time?
Captain (50:39):
Oh, yes, sorry.
The movie next week, we'regonna do our little Halloween
movie.
Uh this one is called Pay theGhost.
Um, it's with our best buddyNick Cage.
Wilson (50:50):
Oh, okay.
Captain (50:51):
Have you seen that movie before?
Wilson (50:53):
No, I've never heard of it.
Captain (50:54):
Oh.
It's uh it's uh it's a wildNick Cage ride, it sounds like.
Wilson (51:01):
Okay, cool.
Well, cool.
Pay the Ghost.
I'm excited to see that.
Captain (51:04):
Okay, good.
Uh I'm glad you haven't seenit, because I it's supposed to
be insane.
Like, I don't know.
It's just it it's Nick Cage.
So Okay.
Um yeah.
Wilson (51:15):
What uh what advice do you got for me?
Captain (51:16):
Oh god, I don't.
This movie sucks.
Um, I don't know.
Okay, okay.
Just based on what people allthe science people are doing in
this um in the movie, um, mybiggest takeaway would be um
wear your PPE.
(51:38):
Like, no, there's no gloves,there's no goggles, there's no
sh anything.
So if you haven't learnedanything from COVID or whatever,
that would be my advice is allscience, all lab work, wear your
PPE.
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