January 20, 2025 • 40 mins
Empowering Family Businesses: Insights from 'The Family Business Manifesto'
In this episode of the Restaurant Technology Guys podcast, host Jeremy Julian is joined by business coach and author Mike to discuss his new book, 'The Family Business Manifesto.' The conversation delves into the unique challenges and dynamics of family-run businesses, sharing key lessons from the book that aim to help such enterprises thrive. Mike highlights the importance of establishing clear roles, responsibilities, and communication, while also maintaining family harmony. The episode is packed with valuable insights for anyone involved in or associated with family businesses.
00:00 Family Business Manifesto
00:51 Introduction and Welcome
01:00 Guest Introduction: Meet Mike
01:41 Mike's Background and New Book
03:10 The Prevalence of Family Businesses
04:40 Challenges and Dynamics in Family Businesses
08:24 Key Principles for Family Business Success
15:32 The Importance of Clear Roles and Responsibilities
24:36 Establishing Core Values and Behaviors
34:10 Effective Communication Strategies
36:13 Conclusion and How to Learn More
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
This is the RestaurantTechnology Guys podcast.
Helping you run your restaurantbetter.
Jeremy (00:10):
In today's episode, we are joined by a friend and a
mentor who wrote book aboutfamily business with all of the
restaurants out there that arefamily businesses.
I recognize that a lot of you,these messages are going to
resonate.
Mike wrote the family businessmanifesto as a way to help
family businesses to thrive intoday's day and age.
(00:31):
He's got a lot of lessons thathe shares throughout the podcast
episode.
If you are a family business,know somebody in the family
business or have ever workedwithin a family business.
Lots of the messages that heshares will resonate with all of
you.
If you don't know me, my name isJeremy Julian.
I am the chief revenue officerfor custom business solutions.
We sell the north star on asales solution for multi-unit
(00:54):
restaurants.
Check us www.Cbsnorthstar.com.
And now onto the episode.
Welcome back to the RestaurantTechnology Guys podcast.
I thank everyone out there forjoining us.
As I say each and every time, Iknow you guys got lots of
choices.
So thank you for joining ustoday.
I am joined by a friend andsomebody that I respect highly.
(01:15):
I'm gonna let Mike tell you alittle bit about Why we're
talking today after he goes inand gloats a little bit about
himself, knowing Mike on theoutside of the podcast, I'm sure
it's going to be a little bittougher for him to, to do But
Mike, again, you're one of thosepeople that I look up to in
business and in life.
I love what you get to do andhave gained so much insight over
the last few years that we'vegotten to know each other.
(01:35):
But, why don't you tell ourlisteners a little bit about who
you are before we jump into yournew book and kind of what it is
that you've been doing lately.
Michael Mirau (01:43):
good.
first of all, Jeremy, thank youfor having me on today.
always consider it an honor toget to share some thoughts with
folks.
I am a business coach.
I have a business coachingorganization.
we've been around, almost 24years and we've worked with,
over a thousand differentbusinesses and over 107
(02:07):
different industries.
And through all that, we've seena lot of what works and what a
lot of what doesn't work.
And so the, what kind ofgenerated our conversation today
was the fact that, in Septemberwe released a new book, The
Family Business Manifesto.
And that was built on mypersonal experience growing up
(02:29):
in a family business, alsoworking a lot of my corporate
Years in a family business.
And then at least 80 percent ofthe clients I've had over the
last 24 years have been someform of family business.
And so I think it gives me aunique perspective on some of
the things that work and some ofthe things that don't work.
(02:51):
And we tried to capture that ina book and, we're real happy
with it.
We hit, it was an Amazonbestseller in two days.
So we're pretty happy aboutthat.
Jeremy (03:01):
Very cool.
And again, for those that arelong time listeners, everybody
that's listened to me for morethan 10 minutes knows that I'm
in a family business.
I know you might, you and I'vetalked quite a bit about my own
family, good and bad.
And it's funny as I've beendigging into the book, it's been
fun to dig through a little bitof that.
Talk to me, I was struck as Ipicked up the book and started
reading and I know you've sharedthis with me.
(03:21):
What percentage of businessesare family businesses?
Again, our audience a lot oftimes is these restaurants.
Many of them are started by afirst generation and they move
through that journey.
talk to me a little bit about asyou've been doing the research
for the book, I was blown awaywith what a large percentage of
the U.
S.
GDP, as well as just overall howmany businesses by count in the
(03:41):
U.
S.
are based there.
around families and aroundfirst, second, third generations
and such.
Michael Mirau (03:46):
what we found we did, we actually started
researching the book about fiveyears ago and we started having,
one on one conversations withowners of family businesses and
in doing the research to reallygive, an understanding of the
scope.
A family business in the UnitedStates.
What we discovered that,according to the small business
(04:07):
administration, which kind of isthe hub of data, all data
business, 70 percent of allbusinesses in the United States
are some form of familybusiness.
And that goes everything fromthe folks you just described,
the solopreneur with a familymember working in the business
could be a husband running abusiness with the wife doing the
(04:29):
bookkeeping or things like that.
Or it could be a company aslarge as Walmart.
Which is a family business and alot of people go, Walmart,
really?
That's publicly traded.
Yeah, but it's still a familybusiness and there are others
out there.
And, when we started looking atit and doing the research, we
said, Oh my gosh, this is a bigdeal.
(04:50):
And so that was part of theimpetus on us, moving forward in
writing the book, because wereally think that there's Some
lessons that can be learned thathelp people be successful in the
business.
And then there are how toovercome some of the challenges
that come with being in a familybusiness.
Jeremy (05:06):
Yeah, I was definitely blown away with, I guess the
depiction of a family business,because I think a lot of
people's perception is, it's a,father, son, it's a, mother,
daughter, it's a father,daughter, kind of thing where
they're small, they're, 10people versus you, in early in
the book, you talked about someexamples, Walmart being a family
business.
Obviously it started, by theWalton family.
(05:26):
But I was also blown away withhow big those things have
gotten.
Because I think really, as wedig into this conversation,
Mike, I want to let our audienceunderstand a little bit about
what does it take to get there.
And so before we jump into that,talk to me a little bit about
why you called it a manifesto,because I also thought that was
an interesting idea versus justa, best practices or some other
(05:48):
means because that word reallymeans something number one and
number two, I think it depictswhy the book is structured the
way it is.
And really, we can dig into kindof some of those chapters and
what you learned.
Michael Mirau (06:00):
Yeah.
A manifesto by definition is astatement of beliefs about a
circumstance or situation.
And a lot of times the wordmanifesto kind of has some
negative connotations about,this organization, their
manifestos to, Eliminate thisgroup of people or take over
the, this country or territoryor city or whatever.
(06:23):
And it's more of a vigilant.
Approach, but our purpose inusing the word manifesto was to
say, this is what we believeabout family business, and if
you read the very first of thebook, it lists 10 things that is
really our family businessmanifesto.
Things that, all businesses arereally impacted by family,
(06:46):
either in the business, runningthe business, or the business
supports families.
So you have people on your teamthat have families and those
families are impacted eitherdirectly or indirectly by what
goes on in your business.
And what we've learned is thatthe wall between business and
(07:09):
family is almost non existent.
that the family drama bleedsinto the business and the
business drama bleeds into thefamily.
and one of the challenges isgetting away from it.
I have a daughter, we talk aboutthis in the book, my daughter,
we actually own a familybusiness, a printing company.
And my daughter and son in lawrun that company.
(07:31):
And one of the things we try todo when we're together is not
talk about business because it'sso easy to be the default
conversation about a customer ora member of our team or some
situation or challenge.
and you just want to leave thatalone for a while and let's just
be family.
let's just enjoy each other'scompany and things like that.
(07:52):
And that's part of what we'reafter with the book is to show
people how they can do that.
Give them some tools.
That will empower them to createthat wall.
So to speak, not that the familyand the business don't inter
intercede, they don't connect,but giving you some ways to be
able to have that separation sothat, you can deal with family
(08:16):
stuff.
As a family, rather than,leveraging the business into
that.
And the other side of it is,focusing on the business stuff
to help the business besuccessful.
Jeremy (08:26):
Yeah.
And I want to get into that injust a little bit about some of
the pain and suffering that youexperienced and saw, as well as
some of the people that did itwell.
And Walk me through you talkabout your 10 principles that
are part of the manifesto.
Probably the one that stuck outto me is just how important
family above business even is asit relates to that.
Can you expound on that and whyyou think that's such a critical
(08:48):
based on your worldview and evenwhat you experienced in the
research and writing of thebook?
Michael Mirau (08:53):
Absolutely.
one of the, one of the tenantsof the manifesto is that family
is more important than business.
Now, if you sit and interviewand we've discovered this when
we did our interviews, when youtalk to some of these business
owners, that line gets blurredbecause I can't support my
(09:14):
family if I don't have asuccessful business.
Okay.
But I can't have a successfulbusiness if my family isn't
involved.
And so you've got these dynamicsthat come into play.
But one of the things we reallybelieve is that family trumps
business.
Okay.
So if you're going, if you'vegot a situation, family takes
(09:36):
position one in the prioritiesover the business.
And what we found in ourresearch was those organizations
that are able to do that, thatthey put the family first as a,
instead of the business, theytend to be more successful.
So it's those that kind of getthose priorities out of whack
where the business is moreimportant than the family that
(09:59):
we start seeing, tension in thefamily about focus and, how much
are you dealing with some of thefamily stuff?
Or the other thing that we see,Jeremy, is that sometimes the
business leader will use thebusiness as an excuse, not to
deal with a family issue.
I can't do this because I've gotto be here because of my
(10:20):
customers.
If I don't take care of this andit could be missing a kid's ball
game, or it could be missing arecital or.
is simple as having a date nightwith your wife.
I can't do that because I haveto work late on Fridays.
and, those types of things comeinto play.
And so when you get thosepriorities, we tend to see those
(10:41):
businesses that get that squaredup, be more successful.
Jeremy (10:46):
Yeah.
So walk me through some of thethings that you guys found
through the book and I don'twant to give away all of it
because I think, many of ourlisteners, Are in family
businesses, work for familybusinesses.
I want them to dig through thisstuff because there's so much
gold in what you guys havefound, but walk me through, two
or three principles, Mike, thatyou have found, get places, get
people to a better place.
(11:07):
you talk about boundaries, youtalk about numbers, you talk
about some of these things.
So talk about the top two orthree things that come to mind
and let's expound on thosethings so that our listeners can
walk away with.
If I don't have this, how do Iget there?
They grab the book, they figurethose things out.
Michael Mirau (11:20):
So in the book, And it's toward the back
beginning of the back third ofthe book, we talk about what we
call the five keys.
And these are the things that wehave found work.
These are not just hope that itworks when you're able to do
these things inside your familybusiness.
(11:41):
It does make the relationshipsless tenuous, a little more
conducive to business as opposedto family.
And these five keys are proven.
I use them with the businessesthat I work with.
And so the first one, in myopinion, is the most important.
and that key is to check therelationship at the door.
(12:03):
See, the problem you run into isif we don't have clarity walking
into the business, then we beginto see favoritism to the family
that causes issues with theother people in the business.
the son can come in late andleave early and makes a whole
lot of money or gets a promotionwithout the same level of
(12:25):
contribution as the other teammembers.
And that has all kinds of issuesthat come with that.
So when the person, you got todefine who's in charge.
Who has the final say?
Okay.
This is not a democracy whereeverybody has a vote.
This is a way at work.
Somebody has to make the finaldecisions.
(12:46):
And you want to get clarityaround that.
But in order to do that, youhave to check the relationship
at the door and treat the peoplewho are in the positions of
authority with the level ofrespect that they are due
because of that position.
And that's one of the thingsthat we found is And then the
other, the flip side of that isthe people that are in that
(13:09):
position of authority must treatthe family members the same as
everybody else.
When they start showingfavoritism, you create all kinds
of jealousy, resentment,Backbiting and gossip and things
like that.
And they, it really makes itdifficult for the family member
working in the business to havethe level of success they need
(13:32):
and the level of cooperationwith everybody else.
And they put too much emphasison the last name.
he's only doing that because hislast name is so and it, so the
first key we talk about ischecking the relationship at the
door.
That and
Jeremy (13:49):
can I give you a quick story, or give our listeners a
quick story about that, Mike?
I actually got a little bit ofthe opposite treatment when I
started.
and I'll just give ourlisteners, because some of them
have known me the majority of mylife, and others have not.
I started working in the familybusiness and I would use, my
dad's name as dad.
I would say, Oh, Hey, did youtalk to my dad about these
things?
(14:09):
So now in my brain and peoplefind it baffling.
I, and again, you've experiencedthis even in some of our
conversations.
If I'm talking about work, Italk about art.
I'm talking about business.
if I'm talking about personal, Italk about my dad.
For me, I had to learn at a veryyoung age to do that.
I actually think I got reversefavoritism, I think because I
didn't report to my dad, I had afew people that would beat me
(14:31):
down to make sure that I couldmake it the opposite way.
And so they would be, they wouldtease me about it.
It's Hey, we're going to makesure that you're going to make
it.
and I guess I would just love tohear, have you, did you guys
experience any of that in yourresearch or any of the companies
that you work with that it's theopposite where they're getting
pushed in ways harder thanthey're Then maybe just a run of
the mill, family member might,
Michael Mirau (14:52):
we did encounter that and we did see that.
And that was one of the thingsthat we saw that really
contributed was not havingfamily members directly report
to other family members, havingsomebody in between, and that
really helps when you've gotsomebody that is, is a member of
(15:12):
the team, but not related.
It's a whole lot easier for themto, they're going to treat that
family member just like anothermember of the team, as opposed
to, Oh, they're the son.
So they get the easyassignments.
They get the easy stuff to do
Jeremy (15:26):
or show up late and
Michael Mirau (15:28):
yeah, yeah.
all those perceived perks thatcome from being a member of the
family.
Yeah, we did see that.
But predominantly we saw theother where there was no clarity
around roles andresponsibilities, which is key.
Number two is you got to haveclear roles and
responsibilities, and becausewithout that you're doing a
(15:49):
disservice to the company andyou're doing a disservice to the
family member because they'retrying to figure out where they
fit.
In the organization, they havegoals and aspirations and
desires and, but they've got tohave a chair and you've got to
define the chair.
And we go back to some of thetenants of Jim Collins in his
book, good to great.
(16:10):
Talks about, creating the seatson the bus, and then you put
people in the seats on the bus,but you don't create seats for
family members.
And because when you do, you're.
You're actually doing somedamage to the organization
because you're trying to makesomething that really doesn't
need to be there.
(16:31):
And we saw that a lot.
so and so's out of work.
We need to give him a job and sowe'll create an opportunity for
him.
He can come work for us until hefinds something else.
And he never goes find somethingelse.
Jeremy (16:43):
leaves well.
And I think all businesses needto have, Jim Collins, says it
and good to great.
Everybody needs to have a seaton the bus.
Everybody needs to know aboutthat clarity.
I guess it sounds like you guysfound, I don't want to say
predominantly, but many of thefamily businesses will employ
somebody, but they don't createclarity around who they are,
what they're doing, because theyhave the last name that might be
(17:04):
on the outside of the building,and they can come and go, and so
nobody knows what to expect fromthem, and thus the team and or
the leadership can't hold themaccountable.
Is that fair?
Michael Mirau (17:13):
That's very fair.
And that's one of the challengesis if you've got one of the
family members working for you,how hard can you push them
Jeremy (17:21):
Yeah.
Michael Mirau (17:21):
before they run to daddy and say, Hey man, this
guy's giving me a hard time, youthere's going to be some
hesitancy on the part of that inbetween person on how hard they
can, they can.
Jeremy (17:34):
Hold them accountable.
Michael Mirau (17:35):
Hold them accountable or challenge them.
that's the other side of it.
it creates some dynamics thatcome into play.
I was on a call yesterday with alady that has a family business
and we were talking about someof the challenges with the
family member and she goes, Ijust finished reading your book.
We've got to go back and createthose clear roles and
(17:57):
responsibilities so that wedon't have this problem.
And so that's, that's one ofthe, this, the other keys.
And then we get to the thirdkey, which is just as important
as the first two is you've gotto treat everybody the same.
When you're at work, you don'tget privilege because you're Of
(18:18):
your family.
And I'll give you an example.
we had a, a refrigerator at ouroffice that people would bring
their lunch and bring food andbeverages and stuff like that.
And one guy was a diet Cokefiend.
this guy drank more diet Cokethan anybody I think ever on the
planet.
(18:39):
And so he was like every otherday, bringing a 12 pack of diet
Coke in and putting it in therefrigerator.
No problem with that.
That's what it's there for.
what happened was one of ourfamily members was getting some
of that diet Coke and drinkingabout half of it.
And the guy one day comesrunning in just upset.
(19:00):
He goes, somebody's stealing mydiet Coke.
the family member just assumedthat it was for everybody and
was drinking it and giving it totheir kids and so on and so
forth.
And it was, they felt like theyhad privilege.
When it wasn't their stuff.
And so the, in treatingeverybody the same, they should
(19:22):
have, one of the things we'rereally big on is people have
clear roles andresponsibilities.
We create what we call a rolescorecard.
And on that role scorecard, wetalk about alignment with the
values and also the key resultareas.
Those have to be clearlydefined.
And if we are not holding ourfamily members to the same level
(19:45):
of expectation of performancethat we do the rest of our team,
I really believe you're doing adisservice to the team and also
to the family member, becausethey're not accountable at the
same level.
And again, it creates that,dissension within the ranks, for
those people, because they'renot being held to the same level
(20:05):
of accountability.
Jeremy (20:06):
Yeah.
I'm going to ask one, one quickquestion before you jump on to
point number four, which is ittakes a level of maturity to be
able to do that in a familybusiness.
and I know, at least as I'vebeen reading through your book,
as well as just talking withyou, I know Jeremy at 22 is very
different than Jeremy at 45 at22.
I thought I knew it all.
I was, my last name happened tobe on the, on the paychecks was
(20:29):
I wasn't the one signing the,the front of the paychecks, but
I felt like I had some level ofentitlement.
And as I've grown and matured,and I would say that my father,
having worked in a familybusiness, I guess I'd just love
for you to expound upon thatbecause it's hard when you go
over for a Sunday night dinnerto not talk about it to, the
blinds get blurred constantly asit relates to that.
(20:50):
And, I know, especially whenwe'll talk about it here in just
a couple of minutes.
The more family members that arein the business, the worse it
gets,
Michael Mirau (20:56):
it does.
Jeremy (20:57):
in, in my world, it's two people that are working in
the business and everybody elseis outside of the business and
they have their perceptions hereand there, and family dinners
and those kinds of things aredifferent.
But when you have, when I wasworking at times in the past
with my siblings, there was, itwas even harder that way.
So I'd love for you to justshare a little bit of your
thoughts
Michael Mirau (21:13):
you're absolutely right.
And that maturity is somethingthat develops over time.
we were all dumb and stupid at18 and 20 years old.
I was there too.
And I was like, Oh my gosh.
And I grew up in a familybusiness.
I started working in the familybusiness when I was 12 years
old.
We, we ran a service station ina small town in Texas.
(21:34):
I was changing oil and bustingtires and pumping gas and doing
all the things we did at aservice station in the
seventies.
And and my dad had very clearexpectations about what we did.
And he was very good aboutholding us accountable because
we were taking care of customersand we were doing work on their
(21:54):
cars and how we treated their,his mantra was treat the cars
like they belong to you.
And we always did.
and so he was really clear aboutthat, but my younger brother
worked in the business also.
And there were many times we'dhave a really tough job.
we had the, contract for schoolbus tires every year.
So every year, all the schoolbuses would come to our station
(22:17):
and we'd have to put new tireson the school bus.
And most school buses had.
approximately six tires, eachschool bus.
And these weren't tires that youbroke with a machine.
You had to bust them down byhand.
And it was hard.
It was hot.
It was during the summer.
And it's some of the hardestwork I ever had to do.
(22:38):
So my brother and I would.
Compete to see who didn't haveto do the school bus contract.
And so finally my dad said,that's over.
You're going to do this one.
You do the next one.
And he took charge of thatthing.
But the issue of maturity cameup a lot in our research is, and
here's what we found, Jeremy,those people that come into the
(23:01):
business at a young age,struggle more with that as
opposed to those that go worksomewhere else and come back.
And so it's like you learn overhere, how to be a good team
member working outside thefamily.
Then you come back and you canactually bring that maturity in
(23:22):
that level.
We saw that to work much betterthan those that were legacy
family members that grew up inthe business and stayed in the
business because it does, itcreates that entitlement
Jeremy (23:34):
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yeah, no.
and I would say from a businessperspective, it's probably the
one thing that my father says heregrets is that he didn't force
(24:16):
me to go work, cause I prettymuch came, through college
worked, waiting tables and thosekinds of things, and then went
straight into working in thebusiness and I started at the
bottom and I've done every job,but I can tell you that my
maturity.
And even some of the backtalkthat I heard in and around the
business was wrapped aroundthat.
And so I would tell any of ourbusinesses that are out there,
be really clear about who is incharge, what those roles and
(24:38):
responsibilities are, because itultimately is going to make
everybody better within thebusiness.
So why don't you jump to pointnumber four, Mike?
Cause I know you've got
Michael Mirau (24:47):
number four is to establish clear and committable
values and behaviors for all.
So this is a cornerstone of theculture that you create for your
business.
And without these core values,this defined behavior that we're
looking for, then you leaveeverything open to
interpretation in terms of howwe treat our customers, how we
(25:10):
treat our team members, how wetreat our vendors, all of those
things come into play.
And what we found was when thosethings are not clear inside of
the organization, it's, you'releft for people to interpret the
way you want things done, asopposed to being clear, this is
the way we handle thesesituations.
(25:32):
And so having that clarified,then you have a level of
standard of behavior that youcan hold everybody accountable
to.
And without that in place, then.
What happens is people do whatthey think as opposed to what
they really should do.
And that depends on theirconditioning, their belief
(25:53):
system, and all this otherstuff.
And what happens is if you getpeople that are not aligned with
those values, they createproblems inside the
organization.
And it's 2x the issue if it's afamily member.
Jeremy (26:07):
yeah,
Michael Mirau (26:07):
So this is what we found was you've got to get
those clear and committablevalues and behaviors for
everybody in the organization.
And that's just, that's not justfamily business.
That's all businesses.
That is, is
Jeremy (26:20):
a principle I would recommend for everybody.
And I think all too often familybusinesses either don't define
it because it's small and theydon't want to do that, or
they've got a problem with theirfamily member, not upholding
those family values.
And so it's hard to go tell therest of the organization, Hey,
go act this way.
While my son or daughter is notacting that way in, in
(26:42):
accordance with some of thosevalues.
Is that fair to say?
Michael Mirau (26:45):
That's very fair to say.
And what happens as a leader,you lose credibility when you
say, this is what we're going todo, but then you don't enforce
it on the family side.
And again, that's where we startgetting the jealousy and the
other conflicts that, that arisefrom that.
And so it's a, it's an exercisethat is worth every minute of
work to figure that out.
(27:07):
And making sure that you have amechanism within the
organization to celebrate itwhen it's being done right to
correct it when it's not beingdone right and to address it as
quickly as possible.
We have a criteria for corevalues that we like to use in
the organizations we work withis number one.
(27:29):
It's not really a core valueunless number one, you're
willing to, take a financialhit.
If it gets violated, number two,you're willing to fire an
offender.
In other words, somebody doesviolates this value.
You're willing to let them go.
And third, they're alive insidethe organization today.
Core values are notaspirational.
(27:50):
It's not what we want to be.
It's what we are.
and those are established by theCEO.
The CEO is the person that ownsthe culture inside the business.
And so what, getting thatclarified, it actually helps
with some of these issues thatcome up because now we know the
standard of behavior we'retrying to live up to.
(28:13):
And when we have that in place,now you've got that measurement,
that line that says, we don'tcross this line.
We don't go here.
I'll give you an
Jeremy (28:22):
I think even in that regard, Mike, if a family member
is not upholding those values,nobody is going to go to the CEO
and say.
Hey, Mike's not doing thisbecause they fear that they'll
lose their job.
I shouldn't say nobody, but veryfew people are willing to combat
that.
And oftentimes one of two thingshappens.
They stay and you've just got alack of continuity as to who you
(28:43):
are and what you believe or theyleave.
Is that something
Michael Mirau (28:46):
That's totally right.
and you use the right wordthere.
It's fear.
one of the things that comes upa lot is that, people are afraid
to confront, they're afraid toaddress, they're afraid to
treat.
Family members, the same aseverybody else.
And again, that creates aproblem both for the team and
the family member, becausethey're wondering why nobody
(29:09):
ever asked them to go havelunch.
They're wondering because there,there's this hidden fear that
they deal with.
And a lot of times that'sperpetuated by the founder, by
the part, the leader and gettingthis stuff clarified really
helps.
Smooth some of that out.
And so you want it, you want totake time, figure it out, and
(29:29):
then you consistentlycommunicate it.
That's the other thing that wesee is core values are not a one
time shot.
Oh, we got them.
Put them up on the wall.
Okay.
That's our core values.
I had a client out in Lubbockthat I was working with.
And, when we went my firstmeeting with him, I asked him, I
said, do you have core values asan organization?
(29:52):
He goes, Oh, yeah.
And he pulled out this piece ofpaper that had 10 core values on
it and I folded it in half and Isaid, Okay, tell me what's on
here.
Tell me what they are.
He couldn't tell me.
I said, you don't have them.
You've got a piece of paperthat's got some great consultant
speak on there, but it really isnot the values of the
(30:12):
organization.
And we went up, we went throughan exercise to define those for
the company.
And then we communicated it outto the team.
And then we made it a part ofour process to address it
regularly.
And by doing that's how youdrive this down into the inside
of the organization.
(30:32):
You've got kids, right?
Jeremy (30:34):
yep.
I absolutely do.
Michael Mirau (30:35):
Do you have rules for your kids?
Jeremy (30:37):
Oh, unequivocally and
Michael Mirau (30:38):
Do you tell them the rules one time?
Jeremy (30:41):
know to the point that some of our friends make fun of
us about the rules that we havefor our kids.
We asked them, was that lovingand kind?
And we've got a really good setof friends that we, and they're
like, I love you.
That when I'll get upset withthe kids, they'll come back to
me, on the side and go, was thatloving and kind?
And I'm like, stop it.
Leave me alone.
I had a momentary blip, but thatis part of what our family core
(31:01):
values are.
and I agree with you.
It has to be constantlyreiterated, celebrated as well
as, reprimanded if there'sproblems.
Michael Mirau (31:09):
You have to address, you have to celebrate
when they do it right.
You have to, fix it when they doit wrong.
Okay?
And that's the thing, too.
Without that standard ofbehavior that you're trying to
establish, then you're, it'sopen to interpretation.
It's what people think.
Think they should do, andsometimes they get it right, and
most times they don't.
(31:30):
And, the, there's, one of thekey words we heard a lot in our
research was assumption.
So many assumptions are made inbusiness.
We assume people know what todo.
We assume people believe what webelieve.
Not true.
You, assumptions get you introuble.
And we assume that the familymember cares as much about the
business as you do.
(31:51):
Not true.
Jeremy (31:52):
Yeah, no.
And you had some examples in thebook that, that, we're quite
shocking to me, now working in afamily business for the last 25
plus years, it's been, it washard to read some of those
examples.
I'm like, how, why would anybodydo that?
But to your point, there arepeople that don't get it.
They don't believe it.
They don't, they're entitled,they're whatever.
They've got some other beliefsystem that caused them to get
(32:13):
to that place.
Michael Mirau (32:14):
Exactly.
What, the way we behave is basedon our mindsets and attitudes
and that all comes fromconditioning and that
conditioning started from theday we were born to today.
We're always in this mode ofconditioning and it's not saying
you can't change those thoughtsor those beliefs, but our
(32:35):
subconscious, 90 percent of whatwe do it without thinking about
it.
And that's in our subconscious.
we don't even consciously thinkabout it.
And because of that, only 10percent of the things that we
do, we consciously think, Hey, Ineed to go do this.
I need to go do this.
and, but we are creatures ofhabit and creatures of comfort.
(32:56):
So we gravitate to the easiestpossible path.
People do this all the time.
So what's going to make thiseasy as opposed to what's going
to make it right.
And the factors that come in iswhat's in it for me.
What's the consequence if Idon't do this, it's a whole lot
easier to say nothing than tosay something, because if I say
something, then there's a chanceI'll get reprimanded or
(33:19):
criticized or whatever.
And people don't like that.
and that, that fear factor comesinto play there.
And the ammunition to that isassumption.
We assume that people know thisstuff.
And so what the core values dois it allows you to define that
level of behavior and say, thisis the way we're going to play.
And everybody lines up to that.
(33:40):
It sets a standard, which.
you can see organizations wherethis stuff is very prevalent.
It's very, it's clear, it'sarticulated and it's adhered to,
and organizations that have nocore values.
It's one person is great.
This other person's a jerk andit's the same company.
It can happen on the same night.
(34:01):
you go to a restaurant and thisone server who the first one
that seats you Is friendly andcourteous and kind and then the
wait person comes up and they'rejust obnoxious and
Jeremy (34:14):
you can just tell that they're not adhering to what it
is
Michael Mirau (34:17):
yeah,
Jeremy (34:17):
what's that?
What's that 5th point that Mike,you had, past the core values
because I
Michael Mirau (34:21):
The fifth point is to establish clear
communication.
And this is also, again, itneeds to be intentional, not
accidental.
And so you need to define howare we going to communicate?
What are we going tocommunicate?
How are we going to communicateit?
And when are we going tocommunicate it?
Okay.
And so we believe in daily checkins or daily huddles.
(34:45):
Okay.
Because that's a chance to findissues fast.
The faster we find an issue, thefaster we can address it.
And so one of the agenda itemsin the daily check in is where
am I stuck?
What are my stucks today?
I'm stuck because I don't havethis over here to be able to do
my job, or I'm stuck because I'mwaiting on so and so over here
(35:06):
to get something done.
And so the faster we identifythat, the faster we can
eliminate the stuck and.
if it's holding them up, then weneed to address it quickly or
we're wasting time.
And so clear communication isimportant.
But the other thing it'simportant to the team members
also, because they want to knowwhere the organization is going
(35:28):
over a period of time.
And we talk about settingpriorities and goals.
What are our priorities for thisyear?
And for this quarter, what's ourpurpose?
Where are we going long term?
What's our 10 year vision?
Some people call that a BHAG.
where do we see the organization10 years from now, three years
from now, and getting clarityaround that so everybody can
(35:50):
line up to that, they understandthat this is going to be a good
horse to ride for a long time,because it's going someplace
good.
I like where it's going.
I like who we're helping.
I like who we're serving andestablishing that communication
because it's the biggest.
Problem you, what drivesconflict in every organization
(36:11):
is unmet expectations.
So if we're not communicatingthe expectations, we're not
communicating the direction thatpeople are making assumptions
Jeremy (36:19):
I was gonna say it goes back to that assumptions
Michael Mirau (36:21):
and assumptions get us in trouble.
Exactly.
Jeremy (36:24):
so Mike, how do people learn more?
How do people get the book?
Talk, talk us through again, Ican pull up, hold up a copy of
it.
Mike was, gracious enough tohand me a copy last time I saw
him, but where can they go?
How do they, how did they learnmore?
How did they learn more evenabout the consulting that you
guys do?
Because I think.
so many of our listeners outthere have these problems, such
a large percentage of thebusinesses are family
businesses.
(36:44):
Many of them have thesechallenges.
And I know not just the toolsthat are in the book, but other
things that you guys have, areon a path to help them out.
So how do they learn more?
How do they get connected?
Michael Mirau (36:53):
So if somebody is looking for a book, it's
available on Amazon, it's,available, you can order it
directly from Amazon.
The that's the best way to getit.
We just finished the audio book.
So we should have an audio bookout there within a few weeks,
that, cause some people arebetter listening to it as
opposed to reading it.
And, so that we just finishedthat and, it should be out there
(37:16):
shortly.
if people want to learn moreabout how we work with family
businesses, we have a websitecalled familyceos.
com and they can go there andsee what we're all about and how
we work.
And we have different levels ofcoaching programs, depending
upon what the needs are.
But one of the things we do fororganizations, whether we work
with them or not, is we have anassessment that compares the
(37:39):
organization to industry bestpractices.
And we offer that for free.
at no cost.
And we will actually debrief itwith the people that take it.
So if somebody is interested inthat, all they've got to do is
go to our website, say, Hey, I'dlike to get the assessment and
that'll send us an email.
We'll send them a link and theycan take it.
And then we'll schedule a timeto debrief it with them.
Jeremy (38:01):
All right.
One last question for you, Mike,before we sign off, all of the
family businesses in the U Swe're able to implement the
things that are in your book,what would the world look like
in a different way?
Michael Mirau (38:13):
First of all, you would have fewer divorce, fewer
divorces.
You'd have fewer estranged.
Children, people that leave andnever come back and the
businesses would be, I believetwo to three X more prosperous
than what they are today.
Because these challenges are inthese businesses actually hold
(38:35):
the business back.
The business is not able toperform at the level it's
capable of because of some ofthese issues.
And it's that fear that keepsthem from moving forward.
So it would dramatically improvethe performance of the business.
It would create a whole lot morepeace in the family.
we go to a family gathering forThanksgiving and we love doing
that because we don't work withany of them there.
(38:59):
We just get to see them aboutonce a year and it's great.
And it's good to catch up withpeople.
And we love going and lovehanging with those folks.
And One of the things that oneof our, one of our, clients told
us, she goes, I just want us tobe able to come to Thanksgiving
and not have everybody mad ateach other.
Jeremy (39:17):
Yeah.
and you've heard me say this.
Michael Mirau (39:19):
heard you say it too.
Yeah.
Jeremy (39:20):
I make decisions based on how Thanksgiving dinner is
going to taste more so than Ieven do about, the business here
and there.
And I love that.
Mike, I personally, I'm deepinto the book.
I'm enjoying the heck out of it.
I set it at the onset.
Respect the work that you'redoing.
I learned something every timewe get connected and I know that
our audience has as well.
So thank you for not onlywriting the book for all of the
(39:41):
things that you do ultimately tohelp businesses to be in a
better spot to our listeners,guys.
I know that you guys got lots ofchoices, like I said, to be in a
better spot.
Already subscribed.
Podcast player.
Great day.
This is the RestaurantTechnology Guys podcast.
Helping you run your restaurantbetter.
Jeremy (00:10):
In today's episode, we are joined by a friend and a
mentor who wrote book aboutfamily business with all of the
restaurants out there that arefamily businesses.
I recognize that a lot of you,these messages are going to
resonate.
Mike wrote the family businessmanifesto as a way to help
family businesses to thrive intoday's day and age.
(00:31):
He's got a lot of lessons thathe shares throughout the podcast
episode.
If you are a family business,know somebody in the family
business or have ever workedwithin a family business.
Lots of the messages that heshares will resonate with all of
you.
If you don't know me, my name isJeremy Julian.
I am the chief revenue officerfor custom business solutions.
We sell the north star on asales solution for multi-unit
(00:54):
restaurants.
Check us www.Cbsnorthstar.com.
And now onto the episode.
Welcome back to the RestaurantTechnology Guys podcast.
I thank everyone out there forjoining us.
As I say each and every time, Iknow you guys got lots of
choices.
So thank you for joining ustoday.
I am joined by a friend andsomebody that I respect highly.
(01:15):
I'm gonna let Mike tell you alittle bit about Why we're
talking today after he goes inand gloats a little bit about
himself, knowing Mike on theoutside of the podcast, I'm sure
it's going to be a little bittougher for him to, to do But
Mike, again, you're one of thosepeople that I look up to in
business and in life.
I love what you get to do andhave gained so much insight over
the last few years that we'vegotten to know each other.
(01:35):
But, why don't you tell ourlisteners a little bit about who
you are before we jump into yournew book and kind of what it is
that you've been doing lately.
Michael Mirau (01:43):
good.
first of all, Jeremy, thank youfor having me on today.
always consider it an honor toget to share some thoughts with
folks.
I am a business coach.
I have a business coachingorganization.
we've been around, almost 24years and we've worked with,
over a thousand differentbusinesses and over 107
(02:07):
different industries.
And through all that, we've seena lot of what works and what a
lot of what doesn't work.
And so the, what kind ofgenerated our conversation today
was the fact that, in Septemberwe released a new book, The
Family Business Manifesto.
And that was built on mypersonal experience growing up
(02:29):
in a family business, alsoworking a lot of my corporate
Years in a family business.
And then at least 80 percent ofthe clients I've had over the
last 24 years have been someform of family business.
And so I think it gives me aunique perspective on some of
the things that work and some ofthe things that don't work.
(02:51):
And we tried to capture that ina book and, we're real happy
with it.
We hit, it was an Amazonbestseller in two days.
So we're pretty happy aboutthat.
Jeremy (03:01):
Very cool.
And again, for those that arelong time listeners, everybody
that's listened to me for morethan 10 minutes knows that I'm
in a family business.
I know you might, you and I'vetalked quite a bit about my own
family, good and bad.
And it's funny as I've beendigging into the book, it's been
fun to dig through a little bitof that.
Talk to me, I was struck as Ipicked up the book and started
reading and I know you've sharedthis with me.
(03:21):
What percentage of businessesare family businesses?
Again, our audience a lot oftimes is these restaurants.
Many of them are started by afirst generation and they move
through that journey.
talk to me a little bit about asyou've been doing the research
for the book, I was blown awaywith what a large percentage of
the U.
S.
GDP, as well as just overall howmany businesses by count in the
(03:41):
U.
S.
are based there.
around families and aroundfirst, second, third generations
and such.
Michael Mirau (03:46):
what we found we did, we actually started
researching the book about fiveyears ago and we started having,
one on one conversations withowners of family businesses and
in doing the research to reallygive, an understanding of the
scope.
A family business in the UnitedStates.
What we discovered that,according to the small business
(04:07):
administration, which kind of isthe hub of data, all data
business, 70 percent of allbusinesses in the United States
are some form of familybusiness.
And that goes everything fromthe folks you just described,
the solopreneur with a familymember working in the business
could be a husband running abusiness with the wife doing the
(04:29):
bookkeeping or things like that.
Or it could be a company aslarge as Walmart.
Which is a family business and alot of people go, Walmart,
really?
That's publicly traded.
Yeah, but it's still a familybusiness and there are others
out there.
And, when we started looking atit and doing the research, we
said, Oh my gosh, this is a bigdeal.
(04:50):
And so that was part of theimpetus on us, moving forward in
writing the book, because wereally think that there's Some
lessons that can be learned thathelp people be successful in the
business.
And then there are how toovercome some of the challenges
that come with being in a familybusiness.
Jeremy (05:06):
Yeah, I was definitely blown away with, I guess the
depiction of a family business,because I think a lot of
people's perception is, it's a,father, son, it's a, mother,
daughter, it's a father,daughter, kind of thing where
they're small, they're, 10people versus you, in early in
the book, you talked about someexamples, Walmart being a family
business.
Obviously it started, by theWalton family.
(05:26):
But I was also blown away withhow big those things have
gotten.
Because I think really, as wedig into this conversation,
Mike, I want to let our audienceunderstand a little bit about
what does it take to get there.
And so before we jump into that,talk to me a little bit about
why you called it a manifesto,because I also thought that was
an interesting idea versus justa, best practices or some other
(05:48):
means because that word reallymeans something number one and
number two, I think it depictswhy the book is structured the
way it is.
And really, we can dig into kindof some of those chapters and
what you learned.
Michael Mirau (06:00):
Yeah.
A manifesto by definition is astatement of beliefs about a
circumstance or situation.
And a lot of times the wordmanifesto kind of has some
negative connotations about,this organization, their
manifestos to, Eliminate thisgroup of people or take over
the, this country or territoryor city or whatever.
(06:23):
And it's more of a vigilant.
Approach, but our purpose inusing the word manifesto was to
say, this is what we believeabout family business, and if
you read the very first of thebook, it lists 10 things that is
really our family businessmanifesto.
Things that, all businesses arereally impacted by family,
(06:46):
either in the business, runningthe business, or the business
supports families.
So you have people on your teamthat have families and those
families are impacted eitherdirectly or indirectly by what
goes on in your business.
And what we've learned is thatthe wall between business and
(07:09):
family is almost non existent.
that the family drama bleedsinto the business and the
business drama bleeds into thefamily.
and one of the challenges isgetting away from it.
I have a daughter, we talk aboutthis in the book, my daughter,
we actually own a familybusiness, a printing company.
And my daughter and son in lawrun that company.
(07:31):
And one of the things we try todo when we're together is not
talk about business because it'sso easy to be the default
conversation about a customer ora member of our team or some
situation or challenge.
and you just want to leave thatalone for a while and let's just
be family.
let's just enjoy each other'scompany and things like that.
(07:52):
And that's part of what we'reafter with the book is to show
people how they can do that.
Give them some tools.
That will empower them to createthat wall.
So to speak, not that the familyand the business don't inter
intercede, they don't connect,but giving you some ways to be
able to have that separation sothat, you can deal with family
(08:16):
stuff.
As a family, rather than,leveraging the business into
that.
And the other side of it is,focusing on the business stuff
to help the business besuccessful.
Jeremy (08:26):
Yeah.
And I want to get into that injust a little bit about some of
the pain and suffering that youexperienced and saw, as well as
some of the people that did itwell.
And Walk me through you talkabout your 10 principles that
are part of the manifesto.
Probably the one that stuck outto me is just how important
family above business even is asit relates to that.
Can you expound on that and whyyou think that's such a critical
(08:48):
based on your worldview and evenwhat you experienced in the
research and writing of thebook?
Michael Mirau (08:53):
Absolutely.
one of the, one of the tenantsof the manifesto is that family
is more important than business.
Now, if you sit and interviewand we've discovered this when
we did our interviews, when youtalk to some of these business
owners, that line gets blurredbecause I can't support my
(09:14):
family if I don't have asuccessful business.
Okay.
But I can't have a successfulbusiness if my family isn't
involved.
And so you've got these dynamicsthat come into play.
But one of the things we reallybelieve is that family trumps
business.
Okay.
So if you're going, if you'vegot a situation, family takes
(09:36):
position one in the prioritiesover the business.
And what we found in ourresearch was those organizations
that are able to do that, thatthey put the family first as a,
instead of the business, theytend to be more successful.
So it's those that kind of getthose priorities out of whack
where the business is moreimportant than the family that
(09:59):
we start seeing, tension in thefamily about focus and, how much
are you dealing with some of thefamily stuff?
Or the other thing that we see,Jeremy, is that sometimes the
business leader will use thebusiness as an excuse, not to
deal with a family issue.
I can't do this because I've gotto be here because of my
(10:20):
customers.
If I don't take care of this andit could be missing a kid's ball
game, or it could be missing arecital or.
is simple as having a date nightwith your wife.
I can't do that because I haveto work late on Fridays.
and, those types of things comeinto play.
And so when you get thosepriorities, we tend to see those
(10:41):
businesses that get that squaredup, be more successful.
Jeremy (10:46):
Yeah.
So walk me through some of thethings that you guys found
through the book and I don'twant to give away all of it
because I think, many of ourlisteners, Are in family
businesses, work for familybusinesses.
I want them to dig through thisstuff because there's so much
gold in what you guys havefound, but walk me through, two
or three principles, Mike, thatyou have found, get places, get
people to a better place.
(11:07):
you talk about boundaries, youtalk about numbers, you talk
about some of these things.
So talk about the top two orthree things that come to mind
and let's expound on thosethings so that our listeners can
walk away with.
If I don't have this, how do Iget there?
They grab the book, they figurethose things out.
Michael Mirau (11:20):
So in the book, And it's toward the back
beginning of the back third ofthe book, we talk about what we
call the five keys.
And these are the things that wehave found work.
These are not just hope that itworks when you're able to do
these things inside your familybusiness.
(11:41):
It does make the relationshipsless tenuous, a little more
conducive to business as opposedto family.
And these five keys are proven.
I use them with the businessesthat I work with.
And so the first one, in myopinion, is the most important.
and that key is to check therelationship at the door.
(12:03):
See, the problem you run into isif we don't have clarity walking
into the business, then we beginto see favoritism to the family
that causes issues with theother people in the business.
the son can come in late andleave early and makes a whole
lot of money or gets a promotionwithout the same level of
(12:25):
contribution as the other teammembers.
And that has all kinds of issuesthat come with that.
So when the person, you got todefine who's in charge.
Who has the final say?
Okay.
This is not a democracy whereeverybody has a vote.
This is a way at work.
Somebody has to make the finaldecisions.
(12:46):
And you want to get clarityaround that.
But in order to do that, youhave to check the relationship
at the door and treat the peoplewho are in the positions of
authority with the level ofrespect that they are due
because of that position.
And that's one of the thingsthat we found is And then the
other, the flip side of that isthe people that are in that
(13:09):
position of authority must treatthe family members the same as
everybody else.
When they start showingfavoritism, you create all kinds
of jealousy, resentment,Backbiting and gossip and things
like that.
And they, it really makes itdifficult for the family member
working in the business to havethe level of success they need
(13:32):
and the level of cooperationwith everybody else.
And they put too much emphasison the last name.
he's only doing that because hislast name is so and it, so the
first key we talk about ischecking the relationship at the
door.
That and
Jeremy (13:49):
can I give you a quick story, or give our listeners a
quick story about that, Mike?
I actually got a little bit ofthe opposite treatment when I
started.
and I'll just give ourlisteners, because some of them
have known me the majority of mylife, and others have not.
I started working in the familybusiness and I would use, my
dad's name as dad.
I would say, Oh, Hey, did youtalk to my dad about these
things?
(14:09):
So now in my brain and peoplefind it baffling.
I, and again, you've experiencedthis even in some of our
conversations.
If I'm talking about work, Italk about art.
I'm talking about business.
if I'm talking about personal, Italk about my dad.
For me, I had to learn at a veryyoung age to do that.
I actually think I got reversefavoritism, I think because I
didn't report to my dad, I had afew people that would beat me
(14:31):
down to make sure that I couldmake it the opposite way.
And so they would be, they wouldtease me about it.
It's Hey, we're going to makesure that you're going to make
it.
and I guess I would just love tohear, have you, did you guys
experience any of that in yourresearch or any of the companies
that you work with that it's theopposite where they're getting
pushed in ways harder thanthey're Then maybe just a run of
the mill, family member might,
Michael Mirau (14:52):
we did encounter that and we did see that.
And that was one of the thingsthat we saw that really
contributed was not havingfamily members directly report
to other family members, havingsomebody in between, and that
really helps when you've gotsomebody that is, is a member of
(15:12):
the team, but not related.
It's a whole lot easier for themto, they're going to treat that
family member just like anothermember of the team, as opposed
to, Oh, they're the son.
So they get the easyassignments.
They get the easy stuff to do
Jeremy (15:26):
or show up late and
Michael Mirau (15:28):
yeah, yeah.
all those perceived perks thatcome from being a member of the
family.
Yeah, we did see that.
But predominantly we saw theother where there was no clarity
around roles andresponsibilities, which is key.
Number two is you got to haveclear roles and
responsibilities, and becausewithout that you're doing a
(15:49):
disservice to the company andyou're doing a disservice to the
family member because they'retrying to figure out where they
fit.
In the organization, they havegoals and aspirations and
desires and, but they've got tohave a chair and you've got to
define the chair.
And we go back to some of thetenants of Jim Collins in his
book, good to great.
(16:10):
Talks about, creating the seatson the bus, and then you put
people in the seats on the bus,but you don't create seats for
family members.
And because when you do, you're.
You're actually doing somedamage to the organization
because you're trying to makesomething that really doesn't
need to be there.
(16:31):
And we saw that a lot.
so and so's out of work.
We need to give him a job and sowe'll create an opportunity for
him.
He can come work for us until hefinds something else.
And he never goes find somethingelse.
Jeremy (16:43):
leaves well.
And I think all businesses needto have, Jim Collins, says it
and good to great.
Everybody needs to have a seaton the bus.
Everybody needs to know aboutthat clarity.
I guess it sounds like you guysfound, I don't want to say
predominantly, but many of thefamily businesses will employ
somebody, but they don't createclarity around who they are,
what they're doing, because theyhave the last name that might be
(17:04):
on the outside of the building,and they can come and go, and so
nobody knows what to expect fromthem, and thus the team and or
the leadership can't hold themaccountable.
Is that fair?
Michael Mirau (17:13):
That's very fair.
And that's one of the challengesis if you've got one of the
family members working for you,how hard can you push them
Jeremy (17:21):
Yeah.
Michael Mirau (17:21):
before they run to daddy and say, Hey man, this
guy's giving me a hard time, youthere's going to be some
hesitancy on the part of that inbetween person on how hard they
can, they can.
Jeremy (17:34):
Hold them accountable.
Michael Mirau (17:35):
Hold them accountable or challenge them.
that's the other side of it.
it creates some dynamics thatcome into play.
I was on a call yesterday with alady that has a family business
and we were talking about someof the challenges with the
family member and she goes, Ijust finished reading your book.
We've got to go back and createthose clear roles and
(17:57):
responsibilities so that wedon't have this problem.
And so that's, that's one ofthe, this, the other keys.
And then we get to the thirdkey, which is just as important
as the first two is you've gotto treat everybody the same.
When you're at work, you don'tget privilege because you're Of
(18:18):
your family.
And I'll give you an example.
we had a, a refrigerator at ouroffice that people would bring
their lunch and bring food andbeverages and stuff like that.
And one guy was a diet Cokefiend.
this guy drank more diet Cokethan anybody I think ever on the
planet.
(18:39):
And so he was like every otherday, bringing a 12 pack of diet
Coke in and putting it in therefrigerator.
No problem with that.
That's what it's there for.
what happened was one of ourfamily members was getting some
of that diet Coke and drinkingabout half of it.
And the guy one day comesrunning in just upset.
(19:00):
He goes, somebody's stealing mydiet Coke.
the family member just assumedthat it was for everybody and
was drinking it and giving it totheir kids and so on and so
forth.
And it was, they felt like theyhad privilege.
When it wasn't their stuff.
And so the, in treatingeverybody the same, they should
(19:22):
have, one of the things we'rereally big on is people have
clear roles andresponsibilities.
We create what we call a rolescorecard.
And on that role scorecard, wetalk about alignment with the
values and also the key resultareas.
Those have to be clearlydefined.
And if we are not holding ourfamily members to the same level
(19:45):
of expectation of performancethat we do the rest of our team,
I really believe you're doing adisservice to the team and also
to the family member, becausethey're not accountable at the
same level.
And again, it creates that,dissension within the ranks, for
those people, because they'renot being held to the same level
(20:05):
of accountability.
Jeremy (20:06):
Yeah.
I'm going to ask one, one quickquestion before you jump on to
point number four, which is ittakes a level of maturity to be
able to do that in a familybusiness.
and I know, at least as I'vebeen reading through your book,
as well as just talking withyou, I know Jeremy at 22 is very
different than Jeremy at 45 at22.
I thought I knew it all.
I was, my last name happened tobe on the, on the paychecks was
(20:29):
I wasn't the one signing the,the front of the paychecks, but
I felt like I had some level ofentitlement.
And as I've grown and matured,and I would say that my father,
having worked in a familybusiness, I guess I'd just love
for you to expound upon thatbecause it's hard when you go
over for a Sunday night dinnerto not talk about it to, the
blinds get blurred constantly asit relates to that.
(20:50):
And, I know, especially whenwe'll talk about it here in just
a couple of minutes.
The more family members that arein the business, the worse it
gets,
Michael Mirau (20:56):
it does.
Jeremy (20:57):
in, in my world, it's two people that are working in
the business and everybody elseis outside of the business and
they have their perceptions hereand there, and family dinners
and those kinds of things aredifferent.
But when you have, when I wasworking at times in the past
with my siblings, there was, itwas even harder that way.
So I'd love for you to justshare a little bit of your
thoughts
Michael Mirau (21:13):
you're absolutely right.
And that maturity is somethingthat develops over time.
we were all dumb and stupid at18 and 20 years old.
I was there too.
And I was like, Oh my gosh.
And I grew up in a familybusiness.
I started working in the familybusiness when I was 12 years
old.
We, we ran a service station ina small town in Texas.
(21:34):
I was changing oil and bustingtires and pumping gas and doing
all the things we did at aservice station in the
seventies.
And and my dad had very clearexpectations about what we did.
And he was very good aboutholding us accountable because
we were taking care of customersand we were doing work on their
(21:54):
cars and how we treated their,his mantra was treat the cars
like they belong to you.
And we always did.
and so he was really clear aboutthat, but my younger brother
worked in the business also.
And there were many times we'dhave a really tough job.
we had the, contract for schoolbus tires every year.
So every year, all the schoolbuses would come to our station
(22:17):
and we'd have to put new tireson the school bus.
And most school buses had.
approximately six tires, eachschool bus.
And these weren't tires that youbroke with a machine.
You had to bust them down byhand.
And it was hard.
It was hot.
It was during the summer.
And it's some of the hardestwork I ever had to do.
(22:38):
So my brother and I would.
Compete to see who didn't haveto do the school bus contract.
And so finally my dad said,that's over.
You're going to do this one.
You do the next one.
And he took charge of thatthing.
But the issue of maturity cameup a lot in our research is, and
here's what we found, Jeremy,those people that come into the
(23:01):
business at a young age,struggle more with that as
opposed to those that go worksomewhere else and come back.
And so it's like you learn overhere, how to be a good team
member working outside thefamily.
Then you come back and you canactually bring that maturity in
(23:22):
that level.
We saw that to work much betterthan those that were legacy
family members that grew up inthe business and stayed in the
business because it does, itcreates that entitlement
Jeremy (23:34):
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yeah, no.
and I would say from a businessperspective, it's probably the
one thing that my father says heregrets is that he didn't force
(24:16):
me to go work, cause I prettymuch came, through college
worked, waiting tables and thosekinds of things, and then went
straight into working in thebusiness and I started at the
bottom and I've done every job,but I can tell you that my
maturity.
And even some of the backtalkthat I heard in and around the
business was wrapped aroundthat.
And so I would tell any of ourbusinesses that are out there,
be really clear about who is incharge, what those roles and
(24:38):
responsibilities are, because itultimately is going to make
everybody better within thebusiness.
So why don't you jump to pointnumber four, Mike?
Cause I know you've got
Michael Mirau (24:47):
number four is to establish clear and committable
values and behaviors for all.
So this is a cornerstone of theculture that you create for your
business.
And without these core values,this defined behavior that we're
looking for, then you leaveeverything open to
interpretation in terms of howwe treat our customers, how we
(25:10):
treat our team members, how wetreat our vendors, all of those
things come into play.
And what we found was when thosethings are not clear inside of
the organization, it's, you'releft for people to interpret the
way you want things done, asopposed to being clear, this is
the way we handle thesesituations.
(25:32):
And so having that clarified,then you have a level of
standard of behavior that youcan hold everybody accountable
to.
And without that in place, then.
What happens is people do whatthey think as opposed to what
they really should do.
And that depends on theirconditioning, their belief
(25:53):
system, and all this otherstuff.
And what happens is if you getpeople that are not aligned with
those values, they createproblems inside the
organization.
And it's 2x the issue if it's afamily member.
Jeremy (26:07):
yeah,
Michael Mirau (26:07):
So this is what we found was you've got to get
those clear and committablevalues and behaviors for
everybody in the organization.
And that's just, that's not justfamily business.
That's all businesses.
That is, is
Jeremy (26:20):
a principle I would recommend for everybody.
And I think all too often familybusinesses either don't define
it because it's small and theydon't want to do that, or
they've got a problem with theirfamily member, not upholding
those family values.
And so it's hard to go tell therest of the organization, Hey,
go act this way.
While my son or daughter is notacting that way in, in
(26:42):
accordance with some of thosevalues.
Is that fair to say?
Michael Mirau (26:45):
That's very fair to say.
And what happens as a leader,you lose credibility when you
say, this is what we're going todo, but then you don't enforce
it on the family side.
And again, that's where we startgetting the jealousy and the
other conflicts that, that arisefrom that.
And so it's a, it's an exercisethat is worth every minute of
work to figure that out.
(27:07):
And making sure that you have amechanism within the
organization to celebrate itwhen it's being done right to
correct it when it's not beingdone right and to address it as
quickly as possible.
We have a criteria for corevalues that we like to use in
the organizations we work withis number one.
(27:29):
It's not really a core valueunless number one, you're
willing to, take a financialhit.
If it gets violated, number two,you're willing to fire an
offender.
In other words, somebody doesviolates this value.
You're willing to let them go.
And third, they're alive insidethe organization today.
Core values are notaspirational.
(27:50):
It's not what we want to be.
It's what we are.
and those are established by theCEO.
The CEO is the person that ownsthe culture inside the business.
And so what, getting thatclarified, it actually helps
with some of these issues thatcome up because now we know the
standard of behavior we'retrying to live up to.
(28:13):
And when we have that in place,now you've got that measurement,
that line that says, we don'tcross this line.
We don't go here.
I'll give you an
Jeremy (28:22):
I think even in that regard, Mike, if a family member
is not upholding those values,nobody is going to go to the CEO
and say.
Hey, Mike's not doing thisbecause they fear that they'll
lose their job.
I shouldn't say nobody, but veryfew people are willing to combat
that.
And oftentimes one of two thingshappens.
They stay and you've just got alack of continuity as to who you
(28:43):
are and what you believe or theyleave.
Is that something
Michael Mirau (28:46):
That's totally right.
and you use the right wordthere.
It's fear.
one of the things that comes upa lot is that, people are afraid
to confront, they're afraid toaddress, they're afraid to
treat.
Family members, the same aseverybody else.
And again, that creates aproblem both for the team and
the family member, becausethey're wondering why nobody
(29:09):
ever asked them to go havelunch.
They're wondering because there,there's this hidden fear that
they deal with.
And a lot of times that'sperpetuated by the founder, by
the part, the leader and gettingthis stuff clarified really
helps.
Smooth some of that out.
And so you want it, you want totake time, figure it out, and
(29:29):
then you consistentlycommunicate it.
That's the other thing that wesee is core values are not a one
time shot.
Oh, we got them.
Put them up on the wall.
Okay.
That's our core values.
I had a client out in Lubbockthat I was working with.
And, when we went my firstmeeting with him, I asked him, I
said, do you have core values asan organization?
(29:52):
He goes, Oh, yeah.
And he pulled out this piece ofpaper that had 10 core values on
it and I folded it in half and Isaid, Okay, tell me what's on
here.
Tell me what they are.
He couldn't tell me.
I said, you don't have them.
You've got a piece of paperthat's got some great consultant
speak on there, but it really isnot the values of the
(30:12):
organization.
And we went up, we went throughan exercise to define those for
the company.
And then we communicated it outto the team.
And then we made it a part ofour process to address it
regularly.
And by doing that's how youdrive this down into the inside
of the organization.
(30:32):
You've got kids, right?
Jeremy (30:34):
yep.
I absolutely do.
Michael Mirau (30:35):
Do you have rules for your kids?
Jeremy (30:37):
Oh, unequivocally and
Michael Mirau (30:38):
Do you tell them the rules one time?
Jeremy (30:41):
know to the point that some of our friends make fun of
us about the rules that we havefor our kids.
We asked them, was that lovingand kind?
And we've got a really good setof friends that we, and they're
like, I love you.
That when I'll get upset withthe kids, they'll come back to
me, on the side and go, was thatloving and kind?
And I'm like, stop it.
Leave me alone.
I had a momentary blip, but thatis part of what our family core
(31:01):
values are.
and I agree with you.
It has to be constantlyreiterated, celebrated as well
as, reprimanded if there'sproblems.
Michael Mirau (31:09):
You have to address, you have to celebrate
when they do it right.
You have to, fix it when they doit wrong.
Okay?
And that's the thing, too.
Without that standard ofbehavior that you're trying to
establish, then you're, it'sopen to interpretation.
It's what people think.
Think they should do, andsometimes they get it right, and
most times they don't.
(31:30):
And, the, there's, one of thekey words we heard a lot in our
research was assumption.
So many assumptions are made inbusiness.
We assume people know what todo.
We assume people believe what webelieve.
Not true.
You, assumptions get you introuble.
And we assume that the familymember cares as much about the
business as you do.
(31:51):
Not true.
Jeremy (31:52):
Yeah, no.
And you had some examples in thebook that, that, we're quite
shocking to me, now working in afamily business for the last 25
plus years, it's been, it washard to read some of those
examples.
I'm like, how, why would anybodydo that?
But to your point, there arepeople that don't get it.
They don't believe it.
They don't, they're entitled,they're whatever.
They've got some other beliefsystem that caused them to get
(32:13):
to that place.
Michael Mirau (32:14):
Exactly.
What, the way we behave is basedon our mindsets and attitudes
and that all comes fromconditioning and that
conditioning started from theday we were born to today.
We're always in this mode ofconditioning and it's not saying
you can't change those thoughtsor those beliefs, but our
(32:35):
subconscious, 90 percent of whatwe do it without thinking about
it.
And that's in our subconscious.
we don't even consciously thinkabout it.
And because of that, only 10percent of the things that we
do, we consciously think, Hey, Ineed to go do this.
I need to go do this.
and, but we are creatures ofhabit and creatures of comfort.
(32:56):
So we gravitate to the easiestpossible path.
People do this all the time.
So what's going to make thiseasy as opposed to what's going
to make it right.
And the factors that come in iswhat's in it for me.
What's the consequence if Idon't do this, it's a whole lot
easier to say nothing than tosay something, because if I say
something, then there's a chanceI'll get reprimanded or
(33:19):
criticized or whatever.
And people don't like that.
and that, that fear factor comesinto play there.
And the ammunition to that isassumption.
We assume that people know thisstuff.
And so what the core values dois it allows you to define that
level of behavior and say, thisis the way we're going to play.
And everybody lines up to that.
(33:40):
It sets a standard, which.
you can see organizations wherethis stuff is very prevalent.
It's very, it's clear, it'sarticulated and it's adhered to,
and organizations that have nocore values.
It's one person is great.
This other person's a jerk andit's the same company.
It can happen on the same night.
(34:01):
you go to a restaurant and thisone server who the first one
that seats you Is friendly andcourteous and kind and then the
wait person comes up and they'rejust obnoxious and
Jeremy (34:14):
you can just tell that they're not adhering to what it
is
Michael Mirau (34:17):
yeah,
Jeremy (34:17):
what's that?
What's that 5th point that Mike,you had, past the core values
because I
Michael Mirau (34:21):
The fifth point is to establish clear
communication.
And this is also, again, itneeds to be intentional, not
accidental.
And so you need to define howare we going to communicate?
What are we going tocommunicate?
How are we going to communicateit?
And when are we going tocommunicate it?
Okay.
And so we believe in daily checkins or daily huddles.
(34:45):
Okay.
Because that's a chance to findissues fast.
The faster we find an issue, thefaster we can address it.
And so one of the agenda itemsin the daily check in is where
am I stuck?
What are my stucks today?
I'm stuck because I don't havethis over here to be able to do
my job, or I'm stuck because I'mwaiting on so and so over here
(35:06):
to get something done.
And so the faster we identifythat, the faster we can
eliminate the stuck and.
if it's holding them up, then weneed to address it quickly or
we're wasting time.
And so clear communication isimportant.
But the other thing it'simportant to the team members
also, because they want to knowwhere the organization is going
(35:28):
over a period of time.
And we talk about settingpriorities and goals.
What are our priorities for thisyear?
And for this quarter, what's ourpurpose?
Where are we going long term?
What's our 10 year vision?
Some people call that a BHAG.
where do we see the organization10 years from now, three years
from now, and getting clarityaround that so everybody can
(35:50):
line up to that, they understandthat this is going to be a good
horse to ride for a long time,because it's going someplace
good.
I like where it's going.
I like who we're helping.
I like who we're serving andestablishing that communication
because it's the biggest.
Problem you, what drivesconflict in every organization
(36:11):
is unmet expectations.
So if we're not communicatingthe expectations, we're not
communicating the direction thatpeople are making assumptions
Jeremy (36:19):
I was gonna say it goes back to that assumptions
Michael Mirau (36:21):
and assumptions get us in trouble.
Exactly.
Jeremy (36:24):
so Mike, how do people learn more?
How do people get the book?
Talk, talk us through again, Ican pull up, hold up a copy of
it.
Mike was, gracious enough tohand me a copy last time I saw
him, but where can they go?
How do they, how did they learnmore?
How did they learn more evenabout the consulting that you
guys do?
Because I think.
so many of our listeners outthere have these problems, such
a large percentage of thebusinesses are family
businesses.
(36:44):
Many of them have thesechallenges.
And I know not just the toolsthat are in the book, but other
things that you guys have, areon a path to help them out.
So how do they learn more?
How do they get connected?
Michael Mirau (36:53):
So if somebody is looking for a book, it's
available on Amazon, it's,available, you can order it
directly from Amazon.
The that's the best way to getit.
We just finished the audio book.
So we should have an audio bookout there within a few weeks,
that, cause some people arebetter listening to it as
opposed to reading it.
And, so that we just finishedthat and, it should be out there
(37:16):
shortly.
if people want to learn moreabout how we work with family
businesses, we have a websitecalled familyceos.
com and they can go there andsee what we're all about and how
we work.
And we have different levels ofcoaching programs, depending
upon what the needs are.
But one of the things we do fororganizations, whether we work
with them or not, is we have anassessment that compares the
(37:39):
organization to industry bestpractices.
And we offer that for free.
at no cost.
And we will actually debrief itwith the people that take it.
So if somebody is interested inthat, all they've got to do is
go to our website, say, Hey, I'dlike to get the assessment and
that'll send us an email.
We'll send them a link and theycan take it.
And then we'll schedule a timeto debrief it with them.
Jeremy (38:01):
All right.
One last question for you, Mike,before we sign off, all of the
family businesses in the U Swe're able to implement the
things that are in your book,what would the world look like
in a different way?
Michael Mirau (38:13):
First of all, you would have fewer divorce, fewer
divorces.
You'd have fewer estranged.
Children, people that leave andnever come back and the
businesses would be, I believetwo to three X more prosperous
than what they are today.
Because these challenges are inthese businesses actually hold
(38:35):
the business back.
The business is not able toperform at the level it's
capable of because of some ofthese issues.
And it's that fear that keepsthem from moving forward.
So it would dramatically improvethe performance of the business.
It would create a whole lot morepeace in the family.
we go to a family gathering forThanksgiving and we love doing
that because we don't work withany of them there.
(38:59):
We just get to see them aboutonce a year and it's great.
And it's good to catch up withpeople.
And we love going and lovehanging with those folks.
And One of the things that oneof our, one of our, clients told
us, she goes, I just want us tobe able to come to Thanksgiving
and not have everybody mad ateach other.
Jeremy (39:17):
Yeah.
and you've heard me say this.
Michael Mirau (39:19):
heard you say it too.
Yeah.
Jeremy (39:20):
I make decisions based on how Thanksgiving dinner is
going to taste more so than Ieven do about, the business here
and there.
And I love that.
Mike, I personally, I'm deepinto the book.
I'm enjoying the heck out of it.
I set it at the onset.
Respect the work that you'redoing.
I learned something every timewe get connected and I know that
our audience has as well.
So thank you for not onlywriting the book for all of the
(39:41):
things that you do ultimately tohelp businesses to be in a
better spot to our listeners,guys.
I know that you guys got lots ofchoices, like I said, to be in a
better spot.
Already subscribed.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!