March 1, 2025 • 22 mins
Ever heard of Sensory Processing Sensitivity?
It's a neurological trait that means that one in 6 people have super duper processing abilities of all of their experiences. Sounds like a superpower doesn't it?
Some with it don't always think so though.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Richard (00:02):
And hello to you, and welcome to the Richard Nicholls
Podcast, the personaldevelopment podcast series
that's here to help inspire,educate, and motivate you to be
The best you can be! I'mpsychotherapist Richard Nichols,
and this episode is all abouthighly sensitive people.
(00:24):
And if you're ready, we'll startthe show! Hey, hey! It's
officially spring! Where, herein the UK, you don't know
whether to put your shorts on orfetch an umbrella.
Especially this week, we've gotdrizzle all weekend, and then
next week, it's going to be sobright and sunny that you can't
(00:47):
see without sunglasses, even inthe shade.
It's weird around here.
I do wonder how we copedthousands of years ago, before
we had sunglasses.
Back in very ancient times, didwe all just sit in the shade
eating ants, waiting for it toget dusk?
Maybe, our eyes weren't quite sosensitive to light in those
(01:07):
days.
We'd have to ask a primateanatomist, I guess.
But maybe we're more sensitivenowadays to stimulation than we
used to be.
It's possible.
Some of us do have a geneticdifference that means our brain
processes stimulation ever soslightly differently to most
people.
But it's always going to be inthe minority.
(01:29):
Because when it comes tosensitivity it's only an
advantage in natural selectionwhen it's rare.
If everyone was sensitive, thenit would probably be a
disadvantage.
We call it Sensory ProcessingSensitivity.
And maybe that differencewouldn't have been that good for
(01:49):
natural selection a hundredthousand years ago, and it
didn't become more common.
It's just an assumption, but I'dhave thought that those highly
sensitive people would havetaken fewer risks.
And risks are needed if we'regoing to travel across unknown
lands or try out different typesof fruit to see if they're
(02:10):
poisonous or not.
And the safety that comes frombeing more sensitive to your
environment and more aware ofrisks.
just wasn't quite enough tobecome dominant.
Either way, the highly sensitivegene isn't that common even now.
But still, around one in sixpeople do have a particular
(02:30):
genetic marker that means theyprocess the world more intensely
than other people do.
Emotions are felt deeper.
Background noises are moreintrusive.
Flavours taste stronger.
Smells are more noticeable.
Coffee makes you twitchy.
It's like a superpower.
Everything's turned up.
(02:51):
So for these one in six, theworld might seem quite
overwhelming, sometimes.
And this isn't introversion.
Up until relatively recently,really, within the last sort of
20 years, as far as us laypeople were concerned, it was
just assumed that thedifferences in these people were
put down to being introverted,which is about whether being
(03:14):
stimulated drains your energy orfeeds it.
Introverts will be drained bystimulation, and so will a
highly sensitive person.
So they were all clumpedtogether.
But actually, HSPs, if we'regoing to use that acronym for
highly sensitive people, theycan be extroverted too.
It's not a 50 50 split.
(03:35):
Like in non HSPs, but studiesseem to show that around 30
percent of HSPs are actuallyextroverts.
And just like non HSPs, allextroverts can get fed by
stimulation.
It wakes them up, and 30 percentof HSPs will too.
But they just don't need as muchstimulation because they're so
(03:57):
sensitive to it.
So, if you've never heard of thephrase, a highly sensitive
person, or sensory processingsensitivity, let me give you
some background.
Back in the 70s, a German doctorcalled Wolfgang Klages noted
that some patients seem to havea lower threshold for
stimulation in the thalamus, asmall but super important part
(04:21):
of the brain that acts a bitlike a Wi Fi router, sending out
signals to the rest of thebrain.
For most of us, we have a way offiltering out the irrelevant.
And the thalamus doesn't evenreceive the signal.
So we don't see the blind spotin the eye, which is a big black
hole for our optic nerve.
We don't hear the ticking of theclock, or the guy two streets
(04:45):
away mowing his lawn.
Because it doesn't need to getprocessed by the thalamus.
But what Klages proposed is thatcertain people are hardwired to
get more signals into thethalamus and then out into the
cerebral cortex and into ourawareness.
And scientists just nodded alongand agreed amongst themselves,
(05:07):
but it never really made its wayinto the real world, not for
decades.
So every one of these one in sixpeople carried on thinking that
there was something wrong withthem.
And the other five in six toldthem so.
If they were to complain thattheir T shirt label was
scratching them, or somebody'sperfume was too strong.
(05:27):
You know you're an HSP ifsomebody saying You're too
sensitive, seems to be everyfriend's catchphrase.
Because that's a bit ridiculous.
That's like saying, Your eyesare too blue.
But the thing is, beingsensitive to stimulation isn't
seen by most people as asuperpower.
It's seen as a flaw.
(05:48):
A weakness.
That means you can't handle thereal world.
And I think it's because peopledon't realise that this
phenomenon exists.
Despite the fact that one in sixpeople do have sensory
processing sensitivity.
And that's quite a lot of folk.
That's the same statistic forpeople experiencing mental
health problems.
(06:09):
And there will be a crossoverthere as well, of course.
Being an HSP won't causedepression, but the things that
do cause depression, like griefand socioeconomic stuff and
judgment from peers that lowersself esteem.
An HSP will feel those effectsmore deeply and it could tip the
scales in depression's favour.
(06:31):
It's annoying because an HSPwill process stimuli deeper and
slower than non HSPs.
Especially when they're young.
So a busy classroom or somethinglike that might quieten them
down as they watch rather thanreact to their environment.
And if we're not careful we'velabelled that kid as shy.
(06:53):
Because a well meaning teacherhas asked them, What's wrong?
And nothing was wrong.
They just needed a bit more timeto process everything because
they're noticing so much.
There's so much in theirawareness than with the other
kids.
And if you ask somebody at anyage, really, but especially when
they're young, if you ask enoughtimes, What's wrong?
(07:15):
Then they learn that whateverthey're doing is wrong.
However they are feeling iswrong, which is going to
influence their self esteem,which could lead to mental
health issues further down theline.
So it's important to be aware ifyou do have sensory processing
sensitivity, that you might needmore coping strategies than
(07:36):
other people do.
The academics, they were awareof this in the late 70s, but it
didn't really reach popularculture until the mid to late
90s, when a psychologist calledElaine Aron published her
research and turned it into awonderful book called The Highly
Sensitive Person.
(07:58):
Subtitle, How to Thrive When theWorld Overwhelms You.
In 1996 this was.
And within a couple of years,those one in six people that
thought of themselves as brokenin some way, They suddenly find
out that they're not alone andthey're not broken.
They're just easilyoverstimulated because they've
got greater awareness of what'sgoing on around them and have a
(08:20):
deeper way of processing theinformation.
And this isn't just in humanseither.
We see the same thing in dogs,in fish, even in fruit flies,
and especially in rhesusmonkeys.
We share a lot of geneticsimilarities with rhesus
macaques, especially when itcomes to the neurology in the
(08:41):
brain of processinginformation..
When it comes to learninganything we have two ways, you
see.
We've got responsive ways andwe've got non responsive ways.
Responsive ways are morereflective and sensitive to
their environment.
If you're going to do something,you do it once and you do it
right.
(09:01):
So you'll reflect on it first.
The non responsive ways are moreimpulsive.
It's a trait that says Just gofor it.
If you get it wrong, just tryagain.
And because this strategy is inso many species, at least a
hundred in the research paperthat I saw from, uh, let's have
a look, Max Wolf.
(09:22):
And it's called, just checkingthe title, Evolutionary
Emergence of Responsive andUnresponsive Personalities.
This was in 2008.
So we know that this is not aconscious choice.
It's an instinct.
It's part of who we aregenetically.
And it's not going to changejust because somebody says,
(09:44):
Don't be so sensitive, any morethan saying, don't be so tall,
is going to make somebodyshrink.
So, two questions often pop upwhen people ask about sensory
processing sensitivity and beingan HSP, they say.
How do I know if I'm an HSP, andwhat can I do about it if I am?
(10:04):
But I think a better questionthere would be, What can I do
about it if I'm not?
Because if you do have a highlysensitive emotional response to
stuff, but you don't havesensory processing sensitivity,
then, and only then, is it okayto look at ways of becoming less
sensitive?
Because that might be because ofpersonality development, over
(10:27):
time.
That becomes unconscious, ratherthan something more
instinctively unconscious, ifthat makes sense.
Like, natural instinct versushabit, nature versus nurture.
So sure, learn to change yourhabits, but don't fight with
your natural instincts.
If you are an HSP, it needs tobe understood and accepted.
(10:50):
So there's the answer to thesecond question of what can I do
about it if I am?
Because the answer there isnothing.
It's your superpower.
Embrace it.
But what if you're just anxious?
What if you've had a difficultlife, a chaotic childhood, and
it's due to that that you'reeasily overwhelmed, because that
isn't rooted in your DNA.
And with time, therapy, and somepracticing of mental relaxation
(11:14):
exercises, that's likely tochange.
But if you are an HSP, it's notreally going to change.
The only thing that can changeis your reaction to your
sensitivity.
The sensitivity is still goingto be there.
So how do you know if youactually do have sensory
processing sensitivities?
(11:35):
Well, we tend to find that thereare four characteristics.
Number one.
Depth of processing.
Like the kid that stands at theback of the classroom watching
everything and everyone beforedeciding what to do.
That's 100 percent my wife.
Supermarkets are absolute hellto my wife.
There's too much stimulation,too much choice.
(11:56):
Too many people.
And she can't go in unless sheknows in advance exactly what
we're going in for.
And the shopping list is writtenin the order of the route around
the shop that we're going totake.
And I'm so laid back on theopposite, I might not even know
what I want until I go in thereand see what's going on.
And so, um, so for my wife, amenu in a restaurant, again,
(12:17):
it's overwhelming for her.
Too much choice! She's alreadystimulated anyway because we're
out.
There are people and backgroundmusic and smells and now she's
got an enormous menu and ifshe's honest, she probably knew
what she wanted before she evenwalked in there because it's
easier that way.
Rather than trying to processeverything on the menu.
(12:39):
I'm not an HSP, so I find iteasy to ignore the things I'm
not interested in.
She doesn't.
Her brain is acutely aware ofall the things she's not
interested in, as well as thethings that she is, which means
her world is deeper.
It's richer than mine.
Because of that, she's able tohave more appreciation for art,
(13:02):
for music, for nature.
She'll be awed easier.
Her life can be literally moreawesome than mine.
Which sounds great, doesn't it?
But our brain doesn't justselectively choose what to be
sensitive to.
It's everything.
Good and bad.
(13:22):
So, yeah.
Nice things are nicer, but badthings are badder.
Sad things are sadder.
She can't watch horror films.
She finds it too hard to hearabout bullying or injustice and
cruelty.
Even fictional ones.
Her empathy gets turned up.
She feels it alongside thecharacters.
So this is all of the fourcharacteristics, really.
(13:45):
So like I say, the first isdepth of processing.
The world is processed more, orrather more of the world is
being processed.
So things might take a littlelonger to get your head around.
This depth is advantageous inlearning, though, so it gives
HSPs good intuition.
They seem to know more thingsunconsciously, because their
(14:06):
brain has previously picked upon the answer, either through
their own experiences or fromunconsciously picking up other
people's experiences that nonHSPs, they were able to ignore
because it wasn't relevant.
Second characteristic is beingoverstimulated.
Tiring easier.
(14:26):
Like I said, this is separate tointroversion.
You can still be a sensitiveextrovert and you'll be
energised by the outside world,but you'll just tire quicker.
You need a bit more down timethan a non HSP extrovert would.
When your brain is noticingeverything, it's got to work a
bit harder.
That's what's going on there.
(14:47):
And this isn't a conscious JasonBourne style skill.
It's going on in the background,picking up on all the social
cues from other people and waymore about the external world
than everyone else.
And because of that, the thirdtrait is more noticeable.
And that's about having agreater emphasis on emotions.
(15:09):
Like I say, the good things feelawesome and the bad feelings,
they feel awful.
HSPs are more emotionally aware.
They will feel things insituations sooner than others
will.
They might be the first to cryat a wedding or a funeral, which
is a good thing because itstarts the ball rolling for
everybody else, which is thewhole point of crying.
It's why we do it.
(15:30):
It's a pro social trait thatpredates language, that means we
can connect together.
Although modern society seems todiscourage crying, but that's
another story.
Part of this ability to be moreaware of emotions will mean our
empathy skills get turned up.
HSPs will see the tiniestchanges in somebody's facial
(15:50):
expressions.
They'll pick up on otherpeople's emotions better than
non HSPs.
They make great therapists andgreat friends.
They have more activation in theinsula area of the brain.
If the thalamus is the wifirouter, the insular is your,
your Apple watch that picks upthe signals, gives you a little
(16:13):
tap on the wrist.
The insular reads thephysiological state of your
whole body and creates feelingsbased on what it thinks your
body needs.
So it picks up if your stomachis empty.
Creates a hungry feeling, but italso receives signals from our
mirror neurons in the brainbecause as far as the insular is
concerned if you're thinkingabout swinging a tennis racket
(16:34):
because you're watching it withyour own eyes then the insular
gives you an urge to actuallymove yourself.
And this is the same withanything that we see with our
own eyes if we see a picture ofsomebody who's sad.
It makes us ever so slightlysad.
Most people won't notice, butHSPs will because they're more
(16:56):
in touch with their emotions,which merges nicely into the
last trait, which is aboutpicking up on the subtleties.
Because it's not just thesubtleties in someone's facial
expressions, but also thedripping tap in the bathroom,
the garlic in the bolognesesauce, the T shirt label
tickling the back of your neck,the sunlight reflecting off a
(17:19):
car bonnet, but also the changein somebody's hair, or the right
jigsaw piece that fits, andthey're great at spot the
difference pictures.
So having sensory processingsensitivity isn't all bad, and I
think living as an HSP needs afew things.
Firstly, You need to accept thatit's real, so that you don't
(17:42):
fight against it.
Because you'd accept it insomething else.
You'd accept it in the timidfruit fly or the slow to react
rhesus monkey.
So accept it in yourself, too.
I wish people hadn't beenlabelled by teachers or parents
as shy, though.
That label does so much harm toHSPs.
(18:03):
And in the acceptance of oursensitivity, we can be in a
better place to start letting goof those old labels.
We do it about everything else,don't we?
We change all the time.
There are loads of things aboutyou that belong in the past.
I once fell down the stairs athome as a preschool kid because
(18:24):
I was so excited about gettingdownstairs to watch Rainbow.
My tastes have changed, as youcould imagine.
That part of my life felt easyto move away from with every
month of my childhood.
But being given those labels ofshy and timid, they can stick
(18:46):
with you and become a beliefabout self.
And I know it's hard to changebeliefs about self.
If it wasn't, I wouldn't have ajob as a therapist.
But once you accept yoursensitivity as a genuine part of
you, rather than some disorder,you can better see it for what
it really is, rather than shy.
It might mean making somechanges though, and that can be
(19:07):
scary.
Like I say, my wife is an HSP,so she's worked in the same
place for nearly 25 years.
No, it is 25 years now she'sworked in the same place because
the office setup, that fits hersensitivity.
She's only ever really worked ina room with just a couple of
people and she's thriving there.
Because so many work from homenowadays, which she struggles
(19:27):
with because there is too manysubtle distractions at home.
And if her company did changethe way they did things and put
her in a big open plan office,like I used to work in 20 odd
years ago, she'd have toseriously reconsider her career.
If you want to thrive as an HSP,you might have to do that.
Because your sensitivity Itisn't going to go away if you
just put up with it.
(19:49):
An HSP might need more downtimeas well.
Most, as I say, HSPs areintroverted and are probably
used to doing that anyway.
But 30 percent are extroverted,which means they'll feel a pull
towards stimulation and otherpeople, but they can't live
there.
It's too much.
Even if people they reallyrelate to can do more, you might
(20:13):
not be able to.
So, quiet downtime is important.
With little to no stimulation.
Be okay with changing yourclocks from ones that tick to
those quiet ones that just goround.
And learn to relax your mind.
That's always important andthat's why I make all those
guided relaxation hypnotherapytracks for you to listen on
(20:33):
Patreon.
Mental relaxation is a greatskill anyway, HSP or not.
But it's especially useful ifyou are in HSP.
It has a side effect of trainingyour brain for sleep as well so
that it's easier to fall asleep.
And sleep is important if you'vegot sensitive processing issues.
(20:54):
The reason we sleep is becauseour brain needs to deal with all
the things it processed whilstyou were awake.
So an HSP will probably needmore sleep.
If this is you.
You need to be okay with that.
You might need to go to bedbefore your partner does.
Or get up later.
Accept that.
You're not being lazy.
(21:14):
You're being you.
And like so many of the topicsthat I talk about on here, I
only really scratch the surface.
And if you do think of yourselfas possibly having sensory
processing sensitivity, You canspend weeks reading about it in
articles and books, listening topodcasts and watching YouTube
videos about it.
It's a really popular subjectand it is well worth delving
(21:36):
deeper into if you want to.
Right then, I'll be off for nowas today's another long episode
today, isn't it?
Look me up on Patreon if you'dlike more content.
I'm there every single Mondaymorning with some hopefully very
useful stuff.
So have a super duper day andI'll speak to you again very
soon.
(21:57):
Take care.
And hello to you, and welcome to the Richard Nicholls
Podcast, the personaldevelopment podcast series
that's here to help inspire,educate, and motivate you to be
The best you can be! I'mpsychotherapist Richard Nichols,
and this episode is all abouthighly sensitive people.
(00:24):
And if you're ready, we'll startthe show! Hey, hey! It's
officially spring! Where, herein the UK, you don't know
whether to put your shorts on orfetch an umbrella.
Especially this week, we've gotdrizzle all weekend, and then
next week, it's going to be sobright and sunny that you can't
(00:47):
see without sunglasses, even inthe shade.
It's weird around here.
I do wonder how we copedthousands of years ago, before
we had sunglasses.
Back in very ancient times, didwe all just sit in the shade
eating ants, waiting for it toget dusk?
Maybe, our eyes weren't quite sosensitive to light in those
(01:07):
days.
We'd have to ask a primateanatomist, I guess.
But maybe we're more sensitivenowadays to stimulation than we
used to be.
It's possible.
Some of us do have a geneticdifference that means our brain
processes stimulation ever soslightly differently to most
people.
But it's always going to be inthe minority.
(01:29):
Because when it comes tosensitivity it's only an
advantage in natural selectionwhen it's rare.
If everyone was sensitive, thenit would probably be a
disadvantage.
We call it Sensory ProcessingSensitivity.
And maybe that differencewouldn't have been that good for
(01:49):
natural selection a hundredthousand years ago, and it
didn't become more common.
It's just an assumption, but I'dhave thought that those highly
sensitive people would havetaken fewer risks.
And risks are needed if we'regoing to travel across unknown
lands or try out different typesof fruit to see if they're
(02:10):
poisonous or not.
And the safety that comes frombeing more sensitive to your
environment and more aware ofrisks.
just wasn't quite enough tobecome dominant.
Either way, the highly sensitivegene isn't that common even now.
But still, around one in sixpeople do have a particular
(02:30):
genetic marker that means theyprocess the world more intensely
than other people do.
Emotions are felt deeper.
Background noises are moreintrusive.
Flavours taste stronger.
Smells are more noticeable.
Coffee makes you twitchy.
It's like a superpower.
Everything's turned up.
(02:51):
So for these one in six, theworld might seem quite
overwhelming, sometimes.
And this isn't introversion.
Up until relatively recently,really, within the last sort of
20 years, as far as us laypeople were concerned, it was
just assumed that thedifferences in these people were
put down to being introverted,which is about whether being
(03:14):
stimulated drains your energy orfeeds it.
Introverts will be drained bystimulation, and so will a
highly sensitive person.
So they were all clumpedtogether.
But actually, HSPs, if we'regoing to use that acronym for
highly sensitive people, theycan be extroverted too.
It's not a 50 50 split.
(03:35):
Like in non HSPs, but studiesseem to show that around 30
percent of HSPs are actuallyextroverts.
And just like non HSPs, allextroverts can get fed by
stimulation.
It wakes them up, and 30 percentof HSPs will too.
But they just don't need as muchstimulation because they're so
(03:57):
sensitive to it.
So, if you've never heard of thephrase, a highly sensitive
person, or sensory processingsensitivity, let me give you
some background.
Back in the 70s, a German doctorcalled Wolfgang Klages noted
that some patients seem to havea lower threshold for
stimulation in the thalamus, asmall but super important part
(04:21):
of the brain that acts a bitlike a Wi Fi router, sending out
signals to the rest of thebrain.
For most of us, we have a way offiltering out the irrelevant.
And the thalamus doesn't evenreceive the signal.
So we don't see the blind spotin the eye, which is a big black
hole for our optic nerve.
We don't hear the ticking of theclock, or the guy two streets
(04:45):
away mowing his lawn.
Because it doesn't need to getprocessed by the thalamus.
But what Klages proposed is thatcertain people are hardwired to
get more signals into thethalamus and then out into the
cerebral cortex and into ourawareness.
And scientists just nodded alongand agreed amongst themselves,
(05:07):
but it never really made its wayinto the real world, not for
decades.
So every one of these one in sixpeople carried on thinking that
there was something wrong withthem.
And the other five in six toldthem so.
If they were to complain thattheir T shirt label was
scratching them, or somebody'sperfume was too strong.
(05:27):
You know you're an HSP ifsomebody saying You're too
sensitive, seems to be everyfriend's catchphrase.
Because that's a bit ridiculous.
That's like saying, Your eyesare too blue.
But the thing is, beingsensitive to stimulation isn't
seen by most people as asuperpower.
It's seen as a flaw.
(05:48):
A weakness.
That means you can't handle thereal world.
And I think it's because peopledon't realise that this
phenomenon exists.
Despite the fact that one in sixpeople do have sensory
processing sensitivity.
And that's quite a lot of folk.
That's the same statistic forpeople experiencing mental
health problems.
(06:09):
And there will be a crossoverthere as well, of course.
Being an HSP won't causedepression, but the things that
do cause depression, like griefand socioeconomic stuff and
judgment from peers that lowersself esteem.
An HSP will feel those effectsmore deeply and it could tip the
scales in depression's favour.
(06:31):
It's annoying because an HSPwill process stimuli deeper and
slower than non HSPs.
Especially when they're young.
So a busy classroom or somethinglike that might quieten them
down as they watch rather thanreact to their environment.
And if we're not careful we'velabelled that kid as shy.
(06:53):
Because a well meaning teacherhas asked them, What's wrong?
And nothing was wrong.
They just needed a bit more timeto process everything because
they're noticing so much.
There's so much in theirawareness than with the other
kids.
And if you ask somebody at anyage, really, but especially when
they're young, if you ask enoughtimes, What's wrong?
(07:15):
Then they learn that whateverthey're doing is wrong.
However they are feeling iswrong, which is going to
influence their self esteem,which could lead to mental
health issues further down theline.
So it's important to be aware ifyou do have sensory processing
sensitivity, that you might needmore coping strategies than
(07:36):
other people do.
The academics, they were awareof this in the late 70s, but it
didn't really reach popularculture until the mid to late
90s, when a psychologist calledElaine Aron published her
research and turned it into awonderful book called The Highly
Sensitive Person.
(07:58):
Subtitle, How to Thrive When theWorld Overwhelms You.
In 1996 this was.
And within a couple of years,those one in six people that
thought of themselves as brokenin some way, They suddenly find
out that they're not alone andthey're not broken.
They're just easilyoverstimulated because they've
got greater awareness of what'sgoing on around them and have a
(08:20):
deeper way of processing theinformation.
And this isn't just in humanseither.
We see the same thing in dogs,in fish, even in fruit flies,
and especially in rhesusmonkeys.
We share a lot of geneticsimilarities with rhesus
macaques, especially when itcomes to the neurology in the
(08:41):
brain of processinginformation..
When it comes to learninganything we have two ways, you
see.
We've got responsive ways andwe've got non responsive ways.
Responsive ways are morereflective and sensitive to
their environment.
If you're going to do something,you do it once and you do it
right.
(09:01):
So you'll reflect on it first.
The non responsive ways are moreimpulsive.
It's a trait that says Just gofor it.
If you get it wrong, just tryagain.
And because this strategy is inso many species, at least a
hundred in the research paperthat I saw from, uh, let's have
a look, Max Wolf.
(09:22):
And it's called, just checkingthe title, Evolutionary
Emergence of Responsive andUnresponsive Personalities.
This was in 2008.
So we know that this is not aconscious choice.
It's an instinct.
It's part of who we aregenetically.
And it's not going to changejust because somebody says,
(09:44):
Don't be so sensitive, any morethan saying, don't be so tall,
is going to make somebodyshrink.
So, two questions often pop upwhen people ask about sensory
processing sensitivity and beingan HSP, they say.
How do I know if I'm an HSP, andwhat can I do about it if I am?
(10:04):
But I think a better questionthere would be, What can I do
about it if I'm not?
Because if you do have a highlysensitive emotional response to
stuff, but you don't havesensory processing sensitivity,
then, and only then, is it okayto look at ways of becoming less
sensitive?
Because that might be because ofpersonality development, over
(10:27):
time.
That becomes unconscious, ratherthan something more
instinctively unconscious, ifthat makes sense.
Like, natural instinct versushabit, nature versus nurture.
So sure, learn to change yourhabits, but don't fight with
your natural instincts.
If you are an HSP, it needs tobe understood and accepted.
(10:50):
So there's the answer to thesecond question of what can I do
about it if I am?
Because the answer there isnothing.
It's your superpower.
Embrace it.
But what if you're just anxious?
What if you've had a difficultlife, a chaotic childhood, and
it's due to that that you'reeasily overwhelmed, because that
isn't rooted in your DNA.
And with time, therapy, and somepracticing of mental relaxation
(11:14):
exercises, that's likely tochange.
But if you are an HSP, it's notreally going to change.
The only thing that can changeis your reaction to your
sensitivity.
The sensitivity is still goingto be there.
So how do you know if youactually do have sensory
processing sensitivities?
(11:35):
Well, we tend to find that thereare four characteristics.
Number one.
Depth of processing.
Like the kid that stands at theback of the classroom watching
everything and everyone beforedeciding what to do.
That's 100 percent my wife.
Supermarkets are absolute hellto my wife.
There's too much stimulation,too much choice.
(11:56):
Too many people.
And she can't go in unless sheknows in advance exactly what
we're going in for.
And the shopping list is writtenin the order of the route around
the shop that we're going totake.
And I'm so laid back on theopposite, I might not even know
what I want until I go in thereand see what's going on.
And so, um, so for my wife, amenu in a restaurant, again,
(12:17):
it's overwhelming for her.
Too much choice! She's alreadystimulated anyway because we're
out.
There are people and backgroundmusic and smells and now she's
got an enormous menu and ifshe's honest, she probably knew
what she wanted before she evenwalked in there because it's
easier that way.
Rather than trying to processeverything on the menu.
(12:39):
I'm not an HSP, so I find iteasy to ignore the things I'm
not interested in.
She doesn't.
Her brain is acutely aware ofall the things she's not
interested in, as well as thethings that she is, which means
her world is deeper.
It's richer than mine.
Because of that, she's able tohave more appreciation for art,
(13:02):
for music, for nature.
She'll be awed easier.
Her life can be literally moreawesome than mine.
Which sounds great, doesn't it?
But our brain doesn't justselectively choose what to be
sensitive to.
It's everything.
Good and bad.
(13:22):
So, yeah.
Nice things are nicer, but badthings are badder.
Sad things are sadder.
She can't watch horror films.
She finds it too hard to hearabout bullying or injustice and
cruelty.
Even fictional ones.
Her empathy gets turned up.
She feels it alongside thecharacters.
So this is all of the fourcharacteristics, really.
(13:45):
So like I say, the first isdepth of processing.
The world is processed more, orrather more of the world is
being processed.
So things might take a littlelonger to get your head around.
This depth is advantageous inlearning, though, so it gives
HSPs good intuition.
They seem to know more thingsunconsciously, because their
(14:06):
brain has previously picked upon the answer, either through
their own experiences or fromunconsciously picking up other
people's experiences that nonHSPs, they were able to ignore
because it wasn't relevant.
Second characteristic is beingoverstimulated.
Tiring easier.
(14:26):
Like I said, this is separate tointroversion.
You can still be a sensitiveextrovert and you'll be
energised by the outside world,but you'll just tire quicker.
You need a bit more down timethan a non HSP extrovert would.
When your brain is noticingeverything, it's got to work a
bit harder.
That's what's going on there.
(14:47):
And this isn't a conscious JasonBourne style skill.
It's going on in the background,picking up on all the social
cues from other people and waymore about the external world
than everyone else.
And because of that, the thirdtrait is more noticeable.
And that's about having agreater emphasis on emotions.
(15:09):
Like I say, the good things feelawesome and the bad feelings,
they feel awful.
HSPs are more emotionally aware.
They will feel things insituations sooner than others
will.
They might be the first to cryat a wedding or a funeral, which
is a good thing because itstarts the ball rolling for
everybody else, which is thewhole point of crying.
It's why we do it.
(15:30):
It's a pro social trait thatpredates language, that means we
can connect together.
Although modern society seems todiscourage crying, but that's
another story.
Part of this ability to be moreaware of emotions will mean our
empathy skills get turned up.
HSPs will see the tiniestchanges in somebody's facial
(15:50):
expressions.
They'll pick up on otherpeople's emotions better than
non HSPs.
They make great therapists andgreat friends.
They have more activation in theinsula area of the brain.
If the thalamus is the wifirouter, the insular is your,
your Apple watch that picks upthe signals, gives you a little
(16:13):
tap on the wrist.
The insular reads thephysiological state of your
whole body and creates feelingsbased on what it thinks your
body needs.
So it picks up if your stomachis empty.
Creates a hungry feeling, but italso receives signals from our
mirror neurons in the brainbecause as far as the insular is
concerned if you're thinkingabout swinging a tennis racket
(16:34):
because you're watching it withyour own eyes then the insular
gives you an urge to actuallymove yourself.
And this is the same withanything that we see with our
own eyes if we see a picture ofsomebody who's sad.
It makes us ever so slightlysad.
Most people won't notice, butHSPs will because they're more
(16:56):
in touch with their emotions,which merges nicely into the
last trait, which is aboutpicking up on the subtleties.
Because it's not just thesubtleties in someone's facial
expressions, but also thedripping tap in the bathroom,
the garlic in the bolognesesauce, the T shirt label
tickling the back of your neck,the sunlight reflecting off a
(17:19):
car bonnet, but also the changein somebody's hair, or the right
jigsaw piece that fits, andthey're great at spot the
difference pictures.
So having sensory processingsensitivity isn't all bad, and I
think living as an HSP needs afew things.
Firstly, You need to accept thatit's real, so that you don't
(17:42):
fight against it.
Because you'd accept it insomething else.
You'd accept it in the timidfruit fly or the slow to react
rhesus monkey.
So accept it in yourself, too.
I wish people hadn't beenlabelled by teachers or parents
as shy, though.
That label does so much harm toHSPs.
(18:03):
And in the acceptance of oursensitivity, we can be in a
better place to start letting goof those old labels.
We do it about everything else,don't we?
We change all the time.
There are loads of things aboutyou that belong in the past.
I once fell down the stairs athome as a preschool kid because
(18:24):
I was so excited about gettingdownstairs to watch Rainbow.
My tastes have changed, as youcould imagine.
That part of my life felt easyto move away from with every
month of my childhood.
But being given those labels ofshy and timid, they can stick
(18:46):
with you and become a beliefabout self.
And I know it's hard to changebeliefs about self.
If it wasn't, I wouldn't have ajob as a therapist.
But once you accept yoursensitivity as a genuine part of
you, rather than some disorder,you can better see it for what
it really is, rather than shy.
It might mean making somechanges though, and that can be
(19:07):
scary.
Like I say, my wife is an HSP,so she's worked in the same
place for nearly 25 years.
No, it is 25 years now she'sworked in the same place because
the office setup, that fits hersensitivity.
She's only ever really worked ina room with just a couple of
people and she's thriving there.
Because so many work from homenowadays, which she struggles
(19:27):
with because there is too manysubtle distractions at home.
And if her company did changethe way they did things and put
her in a big open plan office,like I used to work in 20 odd
years ago, she'd have toseriously reconsider her career.
If you want to thrive as an HSP,you might have to do that.
Because your sensitivity Itisn't going to go away if you
just put up with it.
(19:49):
An HSP might need more downtimeas well.
Most, as I say, HSPs areintroverted and are probably
used to doing that anyway.
But 30 percent are extroverted,which means they'll feel a pull
towards stimulation and otherpeople, but they can't live
there.
It's too much.
Even if people they reallyrelate to can do more, you might
(20:13):
not be able to.
So, quiet downtime is important.
With little to no stimulation.
Be okay with changing yourclocks from ones that tick to
those quiet ones that just goround.
And learn to relax your mind.
That's always important andthat's why I make all those
guided relaxation hypnotherapytracks for you to listen on
(20:33):
Patreon.
Mental relaxation is a greatskill anyway, HSP or not.
But it's especially useful ifyou are in HSP.
It has a side effect of trainingyour brain for sleep as well so
that it's easier to fall asleep.
And sleep is important if you'vegot sensitive processing issues.
(20:54):
The reason we sleep is becauseour brain needs to deal with all
the things it processed whilstyou were awake.
So an HSP will probably needmore sleep.
If this is you.
You need to be okay with that.
You might need to go to bedbefore your partner does.
Or get up later.
Accept that.
You're not being lazy.
(21:14):
You're being you.
And like so many of the topicsthat I talk about on here, I
only really scratch the surface.
And if you do think of yourselfas possibly having sensory
processing sensitivity, You canspend weeks reading about it in
articles and books, listening topodcasts and watching YouTube
videos about it.
It's a really popular subjectand it is well worth delving
(21:36):
deeper into if you want to.
Right then, I'll be off for nowas today's another long episode
today, isn't it?
Look me up on Patreon if you'dlike more content.
I'm there every single Mondaymorning with some hopefully very
useful stuff.
So have a super duper day andI'll speak to you again very
soon.
(21:57):
Take care.
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