July 18, 2025 • 5 mins
This week, I'm reflecting on the complex, shifting nature of friendship. Why some relationships thrive, others fade, and how that’s all a natural part of life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Richard (00:00):
And hello to you.
Today I am talking aboutfriendships.
If you've ever wondered why somefriendships feel life giving,
and others quietly leave youdrained, then today's bonus
Friday episode is for you.
We often talk aboutrelationships in terms of love
or work or family, butfriendships, that quiet glue in
(00:22):
the middle, often getsoverlooked, and yet they shape
us just as much, maybe even moresometimes, because friendships
aren't static.
They evolve, sometimes theydeepen, sometimes they drift.
Sometimes they just end, andthat's okay.
But if you've ever foundyourself lying awake, wondering
(00:42):
why a friendship might feelone-sided, or why you feel like
you don't quite fit in with agroup that you used to laugh
with a lot, I want to say this.
You're not doing anything wrong.
There's a phrase I use a lot intherapy.
And I'd encourage everybody toask this sometimes.
Where do I end and someone elsebegins?
(01:03):
And that applies so much tofriendships.
'cause when we blur that line,when we give and give without
boundaries, it's easy to loseourselves.
We shrink to fit, we smile whenwe don't mean it, and we stay
quiet when we should speak up.
So maybe you've had that momentwhere you start to ask yourself,
(01:26):
why do I always feel tired afterseeing them?
Or why do I keep chasing someonewho never seems to have time for
me?
Friendships should feel like atwo way street and not a
performance, not a test, not acompetition.
And yet so many of us carry allthese stories from our childhood
(01:46):
about being liked, about beingaccepted, being enough.
And we play them out in ouradult friendships even when they
no longer serve us.
But here's something to trytoday.
A simple question to askyourself.
Who am I when I'm not trying toplease anyone?
Sit with that for a moment.
(02:08):
Let it linger because thatversion of you, the one who
isn't performing or adjusting orediting yourself, that's the
version that deserves to beseen.
That's the version that deservesreal connection.
And here's where it can gettricky, because once you start
showing up as that person.
(02:30):
You'll start to notice whichfriendships truly support you
and which ones only workedbecause you were bending
yourself outta shape.
And that can be hard'cause itmight mean some friendships
fade.
It might mean saying no moreoften.
It might mean letting someonedown gently or accepting that
(02:50):
they've already let you go.
And I don't want you to think ofthis as cutting people off with
anger.
This is about creating space inyour life for people who
energise you, people who seeyou, who allow you to be fully
yourself.
'Cause friendships come in alldifferent shapes.
Some of them are deep andlifelong, and others are light
(03:13):
and fun or fleeting.
Some people turn up likeguardian angels just at the
right time when you need them.
Others will challenge you,stretch you.
Might even break your heart abit.
But all of them, every singleone, teaches you something.
And the most valuable lesson isthat you don't have to be
everything to everyone.
(03:34):
You don't have to keep shrinkingto stay liked.
You don't have to hold ontoevery relationship just because
it once meant something.
You are allowed to grow and youare allowed to outgrow, and
that's not selfish, that'snecessary.
So today take a moment.
Think about the people in yourlife, the ones you see in
(03:56):
person, the ones you meetonline, the ones who take up
space in your head.
How do they make you feel?
Do you feel heard, respected,energised, or do you feel small,
unsure, like you're treading oneggshells?
(04:17):
I want you to think about someof that.
'cause you don't need to doanything about it right away.
Awareness is the first step.
'cause there could be otherreasons and it's worth figuring
it out.
But once you know what nourishesyou and what depletes you, you
can start choosing moreconsciously.
And here's the thing I want toleave you with.
Friendships don't have to bepermanent to be meaningful.
(04:40):
Some people walk with us for aseason, some for a reason, some
for a lifetime, and all of themmatter.
So if a friendship ends, let itgo with gratitude.
Honour what it gave you.
Don't feel guilty for moving on.
'cause real connections don'task you to be anyone but
(05:00):
yourself.
And that version of you, thehonest, unfiltered, whole
version.
That is more than enough.
If this has resonated with youand you'd like to go a bit
deeper, the full episode to thisis available on Patreon, along
with loads more and lots of myhypnotherapy audio as well to
(05:22):
compliment my episodes.
But even if you just take thismoment today to pause and
reflect on your connections,that's enough.
You are enough.
So look after yourself and I'llspeak to you again soon.
Bye for now.
And hello to you.
Today I am talking aboutfriendships.
If you've ever wondered why somefriendships feel life giving,
and others quietly leave youdrained, then today's bonus
Friday episode is for you.
We often talk aboutrelationships in terms of love
or work or family, butfriendships, that quiet glue in
(00:22):
the middle, often getsoverlooked, and yet they shape
us just as much, maybe even moresometimes, because friendships
aren't static.
They evolve, sometimes theydeepen, sometimes they drift.
Sometimes they just end, andthat's okay.
But if you've ever foundyourself lying awake, wondering
(00:42):
why a friendship might feelone-sided, or why you feel like
you don't quite fit in with agroup that you used to laugh
with a lot, I want to say this.
You're not doing anything wrong.
There's a phrase I use a lot intherapy.
And I'd encourage everybody toask this sometimes.
Where do I end and someone elsebegins?
(01:03):
And that applies so much tofriendships.
'cause when we blur that line,when we give and give without
boundaries, it's easy to loseourselves.
We shrink to fit, we smile whenwe don't mean it, and we stay
quiet when we should speak up.
So maybe you've had that momentwhere you start to ask yourself,
(01:26):
why do I always feel tired afterseeing them?
Or why do I keep chasing someonewho never seems to have time for
me?
Friendships should feel like atwo way street and not a
performance, not a test, not acompetition.
And yet so many of us carry allthese stories from our childhood
(01:46):
about being liked, about beingaccepted, being enough.
And we play them out in ouradult friendships even when they
no longer serve us.
But here's something to trytoday.
A simple question to askyourself.
Who am I when I'm not trying toplease anyone?
Sit with that for a moment.
(02:08):
Let it linger because thatversion of you, the one who
isn't performing or adjusting orediting yourself, that's the
version that deserves to beseen.
That's the version that deservesreal connection.
And here's where it can gettricky, because once you start
showing up as that person.
(02:30):
You'll start to notice whichfriendships truly support you
and which ones only workedbecause you were bending
yourself outta shape.
And that can be hard'cause itmight mean some friendships
fade.
It might mean saying no moreoften.
It might mean letting someonedown gently or accepting that
(02:50):
they've already let you go.
And I don't want you to think ofthis as cutting people off with
anger.
This is about creating space inyour life for people who
energise you, people who seeyou, who allow you to be fully
yourself.
'Cause friendships come in alldifferent shapes.
Some of them are deep andlifelong, and others are light
(03:13):
and fun or fleeting.
Some people turn up likeguardian angels just at the
right time when you need them.
Others will challenge you,stretch you.
Might even break your heart abit.
But all of them, every singleone, teaches you something.
And the most valuable lesson isthat you don't have to be
everything to everyone.
(03:34):
You don't have to keep shrinkingto stay liked.
You don't have to hold ontoevery relationship just because
it once meant something.
You are allowed to grow and youare allowed to outgrow, and
that's not selfish, that'snecessary.
So today take a moment.
Think about the people in yourlife, the ones you see in
(03:56):
person, the ones you meetonline, the ones who take up
space in your head.
How do they make you feel?
Do you feel heard, respected,energised, or do you feel small,
unsure, like you're treading oneggshells?
(04:17):
I want you to think about someof that.
'cause you don't need to doanything about it right away.
Awareness is the first step.
'cause there could be otherreasons and it's worth figuring
it out.
But once you know what nourishesyou and what depletes you, you
can start choosing moreconsciously.
And here's the thing I want toleave you with.
Friendships don't have to bepermanent to be meaningful.
(04:40):
Some people walk with us for aseason, some for a reason, some
for a lifetime, and all of themmatter.
So if a friendship ends, let itgo with gratitude.
Honour what it gave you.
Don't feel guilty for moving on.
'cause real connections don'task you to be anyone but
(05:00):
yourself.
And that version of you, thehonest, unfiltered, whole
version.
That is more than enough.
If this has resonated with youand you'd like to go a bit
deeper, the full episode to thisis available on Patreon, along
with loads more and lots of myhypnotherapy audio as well to
(05:22):
compliment my episodes.
But even if you just take thismoment today to pause and
reflect on your connections,that's enough.
You are enough.
So look after yourself and I'llspeak to you again soon.
Bye for now.
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