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July 1, 2025 • 16 mins

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What's the difference between someone who has all the motivation and enthusiasm you could wish for and someone who, even though they don't have depression, still can't feel motivated? Well, in order to answer that I think it's worth looking at what motivation actually is.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Richard (00:02):
And hello to you, and welcome to the Richard Nicholls
podcast, the personaldevelopment podcast series
that's here to help inspire,educate, and motivate you to be
the best you can be.
I'm psychotherapist RichardNicholls, and this episode is
titled Motivation.

(00:23):
And if you are ready, we'llstart the show.
Happy New Month.
You lovelies Hope you've had agood start to your summer.
I've just got back from a coupleof city breaks.
I went to Prague and then Viennafor a few days each, which was
amazing.
I don't get away very often, soit was quite nice to see some

(00:45):
different things.
Nice to get.
Back though, and come back towork.
And I know I'm quite privilegedto be in a job.
I don't need a week away toescape from,'cause a lot of
people live for their holidaysand even their weekends.
And as Monday gets closer, everyhour that goes by on a Sunday
seems to sap their energy andtheir motivation before finally

(01:09):
Monday comes around and they'vegotta drag themselves along.
Energy and motivation are funnythings, aren't they?
Some mornings, even if it takesa couple of strong coffees,
we've got that spark.
We want to get things done, andthen there are other times where
there's nothing.
We go through the motions, but.

(01:30):
The spark's gone.
And that doesn't usually flip.
Day to day tends to last inseasons.
We'll go through whole monthswhere we're full of drive and
then maybe whole months where wecan't be bothered.
But we are still the sameperson, same brain, same body.
And in the absence of somethinglike depression.

(01:51):
What's the difference betweenthose two versions of us?
What actually is motivation?
Well, to me, motivation is thefeeling that's in between the
thinking and the doing.
Some people call it energybecause motivation feels
energetic.
They want to do something andthey feel ready to do it, and to

(02:12):
them, that's motivation.
It's the fuel that makes thingshappen.
And I like that.
That makes sense to me, thatmotivation is the fuel.
Because if we want to powersomething, we can't just have
fuel.
We have to get fuel.
We can't have motivation.

(02:33):
We have to get motivation.
And once you know how to dothat, then you can use
motivation as fuel to help youto get things done.
And one of the ways of doingthat is to make sure that there
is a purpose to the action.
It's almost impossible to feelmotivated to do something that
feels pointless if there's noreason to do it.

(02:54):
There's no spark between thethought and the action.
There's no fuel.
There's no fire.
But if there is a reason, evenif it's a small one, we can
light the match.
Purpose creates ambition, andambition brings motivation.
Now, if your only goal right nowis just to get outta bed and
make it through the day, that isstill a goal.

(03:18):
And in the depths of depression,that might be the only ambition
you've got and that's okay.
Even then, you can give yourselfa sense of purpose.
Now in the real depths ofdepression, sometimes that might
be the only ambition we havejust to get outta bed or to just
have a shower and then wait togo back to bed again.

(03:39):
But even in those cases, ourambition can include other
things, whether it's to findrecipes for healthy meals, to
make sure that we are gettingnutrition or recipes for
cheesecakes to make sure we'renot missing out on the things we
like.
No matter what a purpose to whatwe are going to do is going to
give us the motivational fuel tomake it happen without a

(04:01):
purpose.
All we have is this feeling ofsimply trying to make it through
the day and we are going toresent our own lives.
If that keeps up, it's going tofeel boring.
It's going to feel pointlessbecause it is pointless.
Unless there is a purpose towhat we're doing, then there is
no point in doing it.

(04:22):
Now the reasons to do them andthe purpose may well be there
and we're just not seeing them.
Maybe because it's somebodyelse's purpose.
And if that's the case, we mightneed to make it our own as well,
or have our own separatepurpose.
We might need to rethink things,wipe the slate clean, and ask

(04:43):
ourselves if I could start allover again, what would I do with
my life?
Because if after really thinkingabout that, the answer comes
back and it is very different tothe life that you've got, then
you've found some ambition.
You've got a reason to live yourlife and not just bumble through

(05:03):
it trying to get through to thenext weekend or the next holiday
away from your life.
If there's something that you'dreally like to create in your
life, then start settingyourself a few goals.
Look at the end result of whatyou want and work out the steps
in between that you need tofocus on so that you can make it

(05:24):
happen.
'cause when you have thosesteps, then you have a purpose.
No matter how temporary, youhave a purpose, a reason to get
outta bed in the morning, areason that will drive you
forwards.
And that is motivation.
That purpose isn't somethingthat gets you motivated.

(05:45):
It's gonna be something thatkeeps you motivated.
Because whether it is aconscious or an unconscious
process, you're gonna have somesort of positive expectation, an
expectation that you are goingto achieve something no matter
how small or seeminglyinsignificant in the grand
scheme of things.

(06:05):
You can still expect to achievesomething, and living in the
mindset of expecting somethingis far more motivational than
the mindset of just wishing forsomething, of just hoping that
something will happen with thosesteps and any end result in
mind.
It also gives you some influenceover your life, some sense of

(06:29):
control, and that's not a badthing either With all of this.
You'll find that motivation justcomes with it.
It's part of it.
So you don't need to look formotivation.
Already motivated.
People don't look for motivationto help them do stuff.
They work out what needs to bedone, and as long as there's a

(06:50):
good reason to do it, thenthey've got a purpose and
motivation comes as part of thepackage.
But I guess what we need to dois make sure that we've got some
consistency.
That this attitude is maintainedso that it can not only be a
part of what we do and how weact, but who we are and it can

(07:11):
become part of our personality.
Then it becomes what we expectof ourselves, and that takes
time and repetition.
It takes feeling that it iswrong at first out of character.
Until enough repetition goes bythat it feels right.
So it takes a bit of patience,but mostly it takes persistence.

(07:35):
The best way to keep motivatedis to stay focused on your plan,
to have those steps that moveyou towards the end goal in your
mind on a daily basis, whichmight mean something else has to
give.
There's maybe not enough room inyour mind to be focused on the
goals you have if you're havingto push it away all the time
because you've set yourself toomany goals.

(07:56):
It's not gonna be so easy towrite a book if at the same time
you've also decided to quitsmoking.
lose weight, learn the violin.
If you have multiple goals, thenin order to tackle them at the
same time, each one in turnneeds to become automatic and
not a conscious effort beforeyou can move on to the next one.
So start with one thing and makethat your focus for a while

(08:19):
until you've got this motivatedfeeling, and then you can use
the domino effect.
To move on to the next thing.
Otherwise you'll just feeloverwhelmed.
And that's stressful, notmotivational.
And we don't want stress tobecome a habit.
Remember, anything that yourepeat consciously will become
unconscious.

(08:40):
That's just how the brain works.
And that's not just for the goodhabits, that's the bad habits as
well.
And everyone says how hard it isto break a habit.
That's not gonna be anythingthat's.
Earth shatteringly surprising toyou.
That comes outta this podcastepisode.
We know that bad habits are hardto break.

(09:01):
Well, so are good ones.
The same rule applies soconsistent good habits will
create the life you want, butyou need to work out what those
habits need to be.
Now I'm trying.
In this episode to be asambiguous as I can so that what
I talk about could be foranything and everything.

(09:22):
So I do hope you can findsomething appropriate in what
I'm waffling on about here,because needing motivation is
gonna mean something differentto each and every one of you.
But no matter what it is thatyou might need motivation for,
there are rules that apply to itall.
And the most important beingsomething I've said plenty of
times, I think that actions comefirst, not feelings.

(09:48):
Being motivated will only becomea feeling after repeating the
behaviour Many, many, manytimes.
We can't sit around waiting tofeel motivated before it feels
right to start something.
The starting something and therepetition of the doing of
something has to come first,even if it feels wrong.

(10:09):
we can't say, I'll do it when Ifeel motivated, or I'll do it
when it feels right, becauseit's the other way around.
It's the taking of the steps andthe doing of the thing that
creates the motivation tocontinue with it.
It sounds a bit harsh, but wecan't just sit around waiting
for the motivation fairy to comeand sprinkle some motivational

(10:30):
dust on us.
We have to take responsibilityfor it ourselves.
We have to make the plans.
We have to take the steps andmake the motivation happen, and
it does.
It honestly does.
Taking daily action will makeyou feel good no matter how
small the steps you'll feel thatyou're getting somewhere.

(10:51):
You'll produce more of thechemicals that antidepressants
are supposed to help push alongconsistent daily action creates
that feelgood dopamine releasethat comes with motivation.
And if you still don't feelparticularly motivated, then
probably one or two things isgoing on here.
Either the end goal you setisn't inspiring enough, maybe

(11:14):
'cause it's not what youactually want, but maybe
something that you think youshould.
Want, so it can't drive youforward.
Or maybe it's what you want, butyou just don't have the steps in
between.
There's no direction to go in,so it feels unrealistic.
And so you have a backgroundexpectation of failure.

(11:34):
Sometimes people will say to methat they lack motivation, and
I'll ask them, motivated to dowhat?
And they say everything, andthat's what leads them to me for
therapy.
Until there is a reason to bemotivated until we have some
sort of goal, then why wouldthey need motivation in the

(11:55):
first place?
Sometimes it's not depressionthat causes the lack of energy.
Sometimes it is, of course, butsometimes it's the lack of
motivation.
It's the lack of purpose.
There's no goal to get motivatedabout.
If there's no target, thenthere's nothing to aim for.
And the chances of hitting atarget where you don't even know

(12:15):
where it is is a bit slim, isn'tit?
And if there isn't actuallyanything to aim for anyway, then
what do you need the motivationfor?
Well, you don't.
So it's no wonder that you feelflat.
So before thinking about thebenefits of motivation, you
might need to look at thebenefits of goal setting first,

(12:35):
whatever that goal is, whetherit's to have 5,000 Instagram
followers, or it's a goal tohave a tidy house.
No matter what it is, there arealways specific clear steps to
take that, make that happen.
And by writing it down,committing it to a to paper or
at least the notes up on yourphone and seeing the steps that

(12:58):
you've got to take, it'll giveyou brain an expectation of
success.
Of achievement, a purpose, areason to open your eyes every
day.
It gives you the fuel, theenergy to make it happen, and
that is what motivation is.
The reason why people who havegoals are more motivated and

(13:18):
enthusiastic in life is becausethey know where they're going,
not just with consciousthoughts, but with unconscious
feelings as well.
Whether their goals are big orthey're small, they get up every
day.
Knowing and feeling that theyhave a plan to work towards that
day.
Because motivation isn't allit's cracked up to be.

(13:40):
It's just a feeling.
And on its own, it's not gonnamake anything happen.
It takes action, but with enoughtime and practice, the action
and the direction createsmotivation.
And as long as you keep up withthe actions, the doing of the
stuff.
Then the combination ofmotivation and action means

(14:02):
you'll probably achieve thingsthat in the past you never
believed that you could, but itneeds to be consistent.
It needs to be regular becausestaying motivated is the key
here.
It's not just getting motivated,it's staying motivated.
That's what makes things happen.
And if at first it feels out ofcharacter, then unless you're

(14:24):
okay with that, it can feelfake.
As if you're just pretending tobe someone who can achieve
anything they set their mind toand you don't see that you are
learning how to be that, whichobviously means not being that
in the first place, and that'sokay.

(14:44):
Motivation with a purpose canturn the average person into a
high achiever if that's whatthey want.
And there's no better feelingthan when you're on a journey
that excites you, whether it'sabout health improvement, home
improvement, mind improvement,there's a purpose to it that
creates an electric energy thatgets you through your day, gets

(15:07):
you through your week, yourmonth, your life with pleasure,
with happiness.
That's why when I first startedthis podcast back in, what,
2010?
I called it motivate yourself.
It probably didn't stand thetest of time being called that,
'cause my demographic grew, butit was appropriate at the time
because I could see thatmotivation is the fuel for a lot

(15:29):
of people.
And I knew that people needed tohear that message about it, but
we can be inspired andenthusiastic with any words, my
words or the people's words.
They can really make us hopefuland excited and if that's the
case, then great.
I'm glad to do that for you.
But there is more to it becauseI, despite you listening, I, I'm

(15:54):
here, but I'm still external toyou.
I can't do this for you.
I can help you get motivated andmaybe today's episode has done
that for somebody.
But you need to back that upwith deliberate action and
purpose.
If you're missing somemotivation, you might need to
look further into your desiresand find that purpose, find out
what it really is that you wantto achieve, and then you can

(16:17):
genuinely commit your days tomaking it happen.
And you will, and you won't haveto work very hard to generate
some motivation.
So, you go and do that I'll beoff for now.
You have a super duper weak podfans and I'll speak to you all
again very, very soon.

(16:38):
Tarra.
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