May 1, 2025 • 17 mins
Today is all about Obsessive Compulsive Personality.
OCD is talked about a lot because it's such a life destroying disorder, and so is quite obvious if someone has it. But when it's a personality trait people can often just get labelled as "difficult" and they don't seek help.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Richard (00:02):
And hello to you, and welcome to the Richard Nicholls
podcast, the personaldevelopment podcast series
that's here to help inspire,educate, and motivate you to be
the best you can be.
I'm psychotherapist RichardNicholls, and this episode is
all about obsessive compulsivepersonality.
(00:24):
And if you are ready, we'llstart the show.
Hello, you beauties.
We've got another flipping bankholiday again, and if you're
listening to this at the end ofMay, then there'll be another
one.
This time of year always throwsmy schedule out the window,
'cause Mondays are usually myTherapy Natters podcast, editing
(00:47):
day and having to make up forlost time can be a bit of a head
spin for anybody.
I'm okay with it.
I just need to make sure that Ischedule everything that needs
to be done into my diary.
Doesn't matter to me if I'mdoing something at the wrong
time to when I usually do.
I'm fairly flexible.
And I wanna talk a little bitabout flexibility today with, as
(01:08):
I was saying, what's calledOCPD, Obsessive Compulsive
Personality Disorder, which isdifferent from OCD, and I'd say
OCPD is probably more common apersonality disorder than
Borderline Personality Disorderor Narcissistic Personality
(01:28):
Disorder.
And yet we hear and talk aboutthose things all the flipping
time.
The thing is, most people withOCPD don't seek help.
Because they probably don'tthink that there's anything
wrong with the way that theybehave, whereas having OCD makes
it pretty obvious that there'ssomething not right.
Someone with OCD knows that it'sover the top to bleach the
(01:53):
kitchen every day, but theycan't stop themselves.
Whereas OCPD is when the extremebehaviors feel so natural that
it's normal, and so they aren'tquestioned.
Well, they might be questioned,but it's usually by other
people, friends, family,coworkers.
But the person with it, theythink it's completely normal to
(02:14):
strive for perfection andcriticise even the slightest
mistake.
So these folks, they're not veryeasy to work with and they're
even more difficult to livewith.
So what is OCPD and how do weknow if we've got it?
Well, let me tell you a littlestory about a man called Jeff.
Long-term listeners will know Myfictitious men are always called
(02:37):
Jeff.
Apologies to every real Jeff outthere, but this Jeff is a health
and safety manager at anengineering firm.
He has a set of rules andregulations and refuses to budge
from them.
Even if they're massively outtadate, even if they're
unnecessary.
So the people who work withJeff, they find him stubborn and
(02:58):
those that work for him, theysay he's a control freak.
So his department's got thishigher staff turnaround than
other departments.
'cause one of the reasons he'sso difficult to work for is
because he doesn't delegate.
So his staff get bored,unfulfilled, and they're walking
everywhere on eggshells as well.
'cause they can't live up to hisstandards.
(03:20):
So he doesn't trust that otherswill do as good a job as him.
And he ends up taking oneverything himself.
So he gets stressed, he getsangry, and he goes home feeling
undervalued.
And he's not trying to bedifficult at work'cause he
genuinely feels anxious whenthings aren't done right, so
called.
So he goes home full of stress.
(03:41):
As if it doesn't matter how hardhe works, it still isn't enough,
and his home life is kind of thesame.
He likes structure, routine,makes meals with recipes to the
letter, and gets angry when hiswife Joan, doesn't follow the
right recipes or does thingsdifferently.
'cause to him different iswrong.
(04:03):
If the recipe says a Romano redpepper, heaven forbid Joan uses
a red bell pepper, what are youthinking, Joan?
But to him, he's right.
It's everyone else doing thingswrong that make him stressed.
It's not his fault.
To Jeff, it's almost like peopledo things wrong on purpose just
to wind him up.
So he's really angry whensomebody's late.
(04:26):
Because he always tries to bebang on time.
There's no flexibility in hisexpectations.
So that's Jeff, the man withobsessive compulsive personality
disorder.
Now, like I say, people likethat don't really think that
there's anything wrong in theirattitude, so they don't come for
therapy for that.
They come because of theanxiety, depression, or panic
(04:47):
attacks, which has developedbecause of their personality
disorder.
And it takes a while for them torealise that this is what's
going on.
Because tackling any personalitydisorder means shaking the
absolute foundations of who theyare, literally their
personality.
It means altering their entireviewpoint on themselves and the
(05:08):
world.
And that's quite a scary thing.
I mean, sometimes they mightsuspect that something wasn't
quite right in the way they dothings, but so more often,
therapy is really veryinsightful as they start to
challenge their ideas andbehaviours.
And it helps to explain so muchwhen people get that Aha Moment,
(05:28):
as we call it sometimes, whenthey say, Oh.
Does this explain why my Unidissertation had 15 different
versions that I kept on tryingto improve on until I had no
choice but to submit it at thelast minute, and it still felt
it needed more work.
Yes, Jeff.
Yeah, it does.
And to figure it out forthemselves, why their friends
(05:51):
don't invite them on weekendmini breaks anymore.
'cause they take over the wholeweekend with structure and order
and put everybody's nose out ofjoint is quite the eyeopener for
someone with OCPD.
They've often got a spare roomjust for USB leads or fuses or
electrical adapters, that sortof thing.
'cause they don't like the ideaof throwing something away that
(06:13):
might be useful in the future.
So there can be a bit of ahoarder, although it's more
about the utility of the thingsthat they keep, compared to an
emotional connection that peoplewith hoarding disorder find.
So it is different.
And they might even do the samesort of thing with money as
well, saving for emergenciesjust in case with a separate
(06:35):
bank account just for if theroof collapses and they won't
use any of it to pay for aholiday because, well, what if
the roof collapses the weekafter we get back and we've
spent the money on the holiday,Joan, what are you thinking
woman?
Now I'm painting thesecharacters in a bit of a bad
light here.
'cause obviously those negativetraits are the ones that get
(06:57):
noticed.
Whereas actually someone withOCPD is likely to likely to be a
very conscientious andthoughtful person as well.
They've got a great attention todetail.
They've got a good, honest valuesystem.
They're nice people.
They're just rigid andinflexible.
There's a theory in fact thatOCPD is an exaggerated
(07:19):
conscientiousness, andconscientiousness is part of the
OCEAN acronym of personalitytraits.
If you are new to my podcastseries or you are new to
psychology and you've neverheard of this before, then I'll
fill you in.
OCEAN is what we call the fivefactor model of personality
traits.
So quick crash course into thefive factor model for you over
(07:43):
the last.
60 years or so, psychologistshave attempted to group all the
words that describe a trait ofsomeone's personality into
groups.
Back in the 1930s, there wassomething like four or 5,000
words to describe somebody'spersonality traits, and bit by
bit they've been groupedtogether until we've got now
(08:06):
five that describes someone on aspectrum of each one.
So we often use the acronymOCEAN to help us remember,
because the Big five personalitytraits are openness,
conscientiousness, extroversion,agreeableness, and neuroticism.
And it's long been acknowledgedthat if there's a way of
(08:26):
describing someone'spersonality.
Any word you can think of canfit into one of those five
categories somewhere.
And so obsessive compulsivepersonality disorder might well
be when someone is really highon conscientiousness, which
means to be competent, orderly,and disciplined.
I mean, who doesn't wanna bethat?
(08:48):
It's not a bad thing, is it?
Better that than be theopposite, which is careless and
unreliable.
But the thing is, OCPD canactually backfire and make
people unreliable sometimesbecause they try so hard to make
everything perfect that it takes10 times longer to do something,
(09:09):
and then someone else has tostep in and take over, or it's
just not gonna get done.
So someone with OCPD shoulddefinitely not organise a last
minute hen weekend or something.
They'll just spend a day workingout a schedule of what needs to
happen before they even bookanywhere.
So if you think ofconscientiousness on a
(09:29):
continuum, it's got totalreckless impulsivity at the
lower end and it blends intospontaneity and then
flexibility.
And then at the top end we'vegot rigidity.
And given the choice, weprobably want to be in between
spontaneous and flexible.
'cause that's gonna keep uscontented.
That's gonna keep us happy.
(09:50):
And mean we're able to deal withwhatever the world can chuck at
us.
But OCPD pushes us into that topend of rigidity with everything.
And it's not realistic to thinkthat we can live there happily.
And treating it is trickybecause as I say, people with it
think that it's everybody elsethat needs to change, not them.
If only everyone else fitted inwith their viewpoint, then they
(10:14):
wouldn't be angry or anxious orstressed all the time.
'cause I think that their viewis always the right one.
So the first step is insight.
Awareness.
It's recognising that they havethis overly conscientious
personality that gets in the wayof a normal life.
(10:34):
It's been long said with athousand different problems that
the first step in overcoming itis recognising that you have the
problem.
And so maybe this podcastepisode can do that.
Maybe not for you, maybe foryour partner or your friend.
I doubt though that someone withOCPD is gonna take too kindly to
(10:55):
being emailed a link to anarticle all about it with a,
Hey, saw this and thought of younote.
But there's probably some subtleways of bringing it into
conversation, even if all you dois say when it's appropriate,
you know?
I do worry about you, Jeff.
You seem far too conscientious.
Ah, I dunno how you live like itsometimes.
(11:17):
That that need for rigidity mustmake things really hard in a
world that is so unpredictable.
You know, I dunno, maybe thatcould go one or two ways.
Another reason why it can seemso normal to have these traits
is that it tends to run infamilies.
Now is this nature or nurture?
Who knows?
Probably both.
But it could well be thatsomeone with OCPD was brought up
(11:41):
with a parent who was the same.
And so it cements in this ideathat it's normal to think that
everyone's got high expectationsof you and you should worry what
people think.
So to bring that up in aconversation can be helpful.
Things like.
You know, Jeff, you're very muchlike your Dad sometimes.
It does make me smile, and aslong as you don't turn into a
(12:03):
complete control freak like himwho constantly worries about
perfectionism, I'm sure you'llbe fine.
Now, I keep using Jeff herebecause although women do have
OCPD.
It's often thought to be morecommon in men, although that
might just reflect on how thesetraits are noticed or reported.
(12:24):
So more studies need to be done.
And if there's anybody studyingpsychology at uni at the minute
that's listening to these sortsof podcast episodes, maybe
you've got some, you've got,you've got some research to do
here.
And I've talked about havingthese conversations really'cause
one of the biggest factors insomeone dealing with OCPD is the
support that their family givesthem.
(12:45):
Having their family involved isreally, really important.
And that's for any personalitydisorder, actually if I'm, if
I'm honest.
If you can find the most brokenpart of someone, the angriest,
darkest, most spiteful part ofthem, and love them, not because
of those parts, but despitethose parts.
(13:08):
Then they can heal and you canbe proud of both of you,
especially when they don't evensee that what they're doing is
ultimately hurting them.
OCPD can sometimes get picked upin marriage guidance sessions or
family therapy, and having anunderstanding family that can
support by both acceptingsomeone's problem and
(13:29):
challenging them a little isreally, really helpful.
But they're probably gonna needa psychotherapist to help them
with this, to help them tounravel their irrational
thoughts, their irrationalbeliefs, maybe even help them to
learn how to repairrelationships that might have
been damaged, especially atwork.
Because their work is likely toplay a really huge part of their
(13:52):
life, far bigger than is fairbecause they're convinced that
the place would fall apartwithout them.
That they are the keystone toeverything holding the business
together.
And of course they're not.
It just feels that way.
And because of theirconscientiousness, they have to
put in the work.
They have to have an empty intray and a clean desk.
(14:13):
And if they haven't, well thenthey obviously weren't working
hard enough and so probably endup going in at weekends as well.
So it is not a fun disorder atall if there is such a thing as
a fun disorder, but it can bereally very nice to see somebody
come through it.
Now, it is hard work for them.
From a self-help perspectivethough, the things to focus on
(14:37):
would be things like.
Emotional regulation, learningsome social skills, distress
tolerance.
Actually practicing feeling outof control of situations, hence
the need for the emotionalregulation skills.
So that needs to come first andembracing novelty, embracing
change.
But once they see alternativesand can challenge their
(15:00):
thoughts, their work life getsbetter.
Their social life and familylife improves everything, just
feels easier, just takes a bitof time, takes a bit of patience
to make it happen.
So that's OCPD.
And if you or someone you knowneeds a little bit of help with
all of this, then you now knowthat it is possible to live with
(15:22):
it.
And maybe even overcome it intime, or at least minimise the
negatives of it.
The therapy's very clientdriven.
You almost have to teach them tobe psychotherapists so they can
kind of therap themselves.
They might even think that theyknow more about how to be a
therapist than the therapistdoes, which is difficult for the
therapist.
(15:43):
It's all because of theirproblem in the first place.
OCPD makes people a little bitskeptical, which is why it's a
good idea and why we oftensuggest things like journaling
to help them understand a bitmore about the emotions that
they're experiencing, ratherthan just intellectualising
everything.
When they start journaling, yousee, it starts off with a list
(16:05):
of things that happened thatday.
They just describe what they didrather than how they felt, but
with time they can gain moreemotional intelligence and can
actually be quite diligent indoing their homework.
So if a therapist asks them todo some relaxation exercises two
or three times a week, they'llquite likely pull them up on it
and say, well, which is it?
(16:26):
Two or three?
And if you tell them that threetimes would be great.
But don't worry if they only doit twice, you can pretty much
guarantee they'll do it Monday,Wednesday, Friday without fail,
and that's not gonna do anybodyany harm.
Speaking of which, if you needto take some time out for
yourself two or three times aweek, do remember on Patreon
(16:47):
I've got all these hypnotherapyrelaxation tracks for you.
There's a different one everyweek, as well as full podcast
episodes that are separate tothe public feed first thing on a
Monday morning.
So head over to Patreon.com andlook me up if you're not already
there listening to this anyway.
'cause patrons get my publicepisodes a day or so early and
(17:08):
you can have a chill out with ahypnotherapy track as well, if
you like.
Anyway, I shall leave you toyour week.
Have a good one.
I'll speak to you later on.
Ta ta.
And hello to you, and welcome to the Richard Nicholls
podcast, the personaldevelopment podcast series
that's here to help inspire,educate, and motivate you to be
the best you can be.
I'm psychotherapist RichardNicholls, and this episode is
all about obsessive compulsivepersonality.
(00:24):
And if you are ready, we'llstart the show.
Hello, you beauties.
We've got another flipping bankholiday again, and if you're
listening to this at the end ofMay, then there'll be another
one.
This time of year always throwsmy schedule out the window,
'cause Mondays are usually myTherapy Natters podcast, editing
(00:47):
day and having to make up forlost time can be a bit of a head
spin for anybody.
I'm okay with it.
I just need to make sure that Ischedule everything that needs
to be done into my diary.
Doesn't matter to me if I'mdoing something at the wrong
time to when I usually do.
I'm fairly flexible.
And I wanna talk a little bitabout flexibility today with, as
(01:08):
I was saying, what's calledOCPD, Obsessive Compulsive
Personality Disorder, which isdifferent from OCD, and I'd say
OCPD is probably more common apersonality disorder than
Borderline Personality Disorderor Narcissistic Personality
(01:28):
Disorder.
And yet we hear and talk aboutthose things all the flipping
time.
The thing is, most people withOCPD don't seek help.
Because they probably don'tthink that there's anything
wrong with the way that theybehave, whereas having OCD makes
it pretty obvious that there'ssomething not right.
Someone with OCD knows that it'sover the top to bleach the
(01:53):
kitchen every day, but theycan't stop themselves.
Whereas OCPD is when the extremebehaviors feel so natural that
it's normal, and so they aren'tquestioned.
Well, they might be questioned,but it's usually by other
people, friends, family,coworkers.
But the person with it, theythink it's completely normal to
(02:14):
strive for perfection andcriticise even the slightest
mistake.
So these folks, they're not veryeasy to work with and they're
even more difficult to livewith.
So what is OCPD and how do weknow if we've got it?
Well, let me tell you a littlestory about a man called Jeff.
Long-term listeners will know Myfictitious men are always called
(02:37):
Jeff.
Apologies to every real Jeff outthere, but this Jeff is a health
and safety manager at anengineering firm.
He has a set of rules andregulations and refuses to budge
from them.
Even if they're massively outtadate, even if they're
unnecessary.
So the people who work withJeff, they find him stubborn and
(02:58):
those that work for him, theysay he's a control freak.
So his department's got thishigher staff turnaround than
other departments.
'cause one of the reasons he'sso difficult to work for is
because he doesn't delegate.
So his staff get bored,unfulfilled, and they're walking
everywhere on eggshells as well.
'cause they can't live up to hisstandards.
(03:20):
So he doesn't trust that otherswill do as good a job as him.
And he ends up taking oneverything himself.
So he gets stressed, he getsangry, and he goes home feeling
undervalued.
And he's not trying to bedifficult at work'cause he
genuinely feels anxious whenthings aren't done right, so
called.
So he goes home full of stress.
(03:41):
As if it doesn't matter how hardhe works, it still isn't enough,
and his home life is kind of thesame.
He likes structure, routine,makes meals with recipes to the
letter, and gets angry when hiswife Joan, doesn't follow the
right recipes or does thingsdifferently.
'cause to him different iswrong.
(04:03):
If the recipe says a Romano redpepper, heaven forbid Joan uses
a red bell pepper, what are youthinking, Joan?
But to him, he's right.
It's everyone else doing thingswrong that make him stressed.
It's not his fault.
To Jeff, it's almost like peopledo things wrong on purpose just
to wind him up.
So he's really angry whensomebody's late.
(04:26):
Because he always tries to bebang on time.
There's no flexibility in hisexpectations.
So that's Jeff, the man withobsessive compulsive personality
disorder.
Now, like I say, people likethat don't really think that
there's anything wrong in theirattitude, so they don't come for
therapy for that.
They come because of theanxiety, depression, or panic
(04:47):
attacks, which has developedbecause of their personality
disorder.
And it takes a while for them torealise that this is what's
going on.
Because tackling any personalitydisorder means shaking the
absolute foundations of who theyare, literally their
personality.
It means altering their entireviewpoint on themselves and the
(05:08):
world.
And that's quite a scary thing.
I mean, sometimes they mightsuspect that something wasn't
quite right in the way they dothings, but so more often,
therapy is really veryinsightful as they start to
challenge their ideas andbehaviours.
And it helps to explain so muchwhen people get that Aha Moment,
(05:28):
as we call it sometimes, whenthey say, Oh.
Does this explain why my Unidissertation had 15 different
versions that I kept on tryingto improve on until I had no
choice but to submit it at thelast minute, and it still felt
it needed more work.
Yes, Jeff.
Yeah, it does.
And to figure it out forthemselves, why their friends
(05:51):
don't invite them on weekendmini breaks anymore.
'cause they take over the wholeweekend with structure and order
and put everybody's nose out ofjoint is quite the eyeopener for
someone with OCPD.
They've often got a spare roomjust for USB leads or fuses or
electrical adapters, that sortof thing.
'cause they don't like the ideaof throwing something away that
(06:13):
might be useful in the future.
So there can be a bit of ahoarder, although it's more
about the utility of the thingsthat they keep, compared to an
emotional connection that peoplewith hoarding disorder find.
So it is different.
And they might even do the samesort of thing with money as
well, saving for emergenciesjust in case with a separate
(06:35):
bank account just for if theroof collapses and they won't
use any of it to pay for aholiday because, well, what if
the roof collapses the weekafter we get back and we've
spent the money on the holiday,Joan, what are you thinking
woman?
Now I'm painting thesecharacters in a bit of a bad
light here.
'cause obviously those negativetraits are the ones that get
(06:57):
noticed.
Whereas actually someone withOCPD is likely to likely to be a
very conscientious andthoughtful person as well.
They've got a great attention todetail.
They've got a good, honest valuesystem.
They're nice people.
They're just rigid andinflexible.
There's a theory in fact thatOCPD is an exaggerated
(07:19):
conscientiousness, andconscientiousness is part of the
OCEAN acronym of personalitytraits.
If you are new to my podcastseries or you are new to
psychology and you've neverheard of this before, then I'll
fill you in.
OCEAN is what we call the fivefactor model of personality
traits.
So quick crash course into thefive factor model for you over
(07:43):
the last.
60 years or so, psychologistshave attempted to group all the
words that describe a trait ofsomeone's personality into
groups.
Back in the 1930s, there wassomething like four or 5,000
words to describe somebody'spersonality traits, and bit by
bit they've been groupedtogether until we've got now
(08:06):
five that describes someone on aspectrum of each one.
So we often use the acronymOCEAN to help us remember,
because the Big five personalitytraits are openness,
conscientiousness, extroversion,agreeableness, and neuroticism.
And it's long been acknowledgedthat if there's a way of
(08:26):
describing someone'spersonality.
Any word you can think of canfit into one of those five
categories somewhere.
And so obsessive compulsivepersonality disorder might well
be when someone is really highon conscientiousness, which
means to be competent, orderly,and disciplined.
I mean, who doesn't wanna bethat?
(08:48):
It's not a bad thing, is it?
Better that than be theopposite, which is careless and
unreliable.
But the thing is, OCPD canactually backfire and make
people unreliable sometimesbecause they try so hard to make
everything perfect that it takes10 times longer to do something,
(09:09):
and then someone else has tostep in and take over, or it's
just not gonna get done.
So someone with OCPD shoulddefinitely not organise a last
minute hen weekend or something.
They'll just spend a day workingout a schedule of what needs to
happen before they even bookanywhere.
So if you think ofconscientiousness on a
(09:29):
continuum, it's got totalreckless impulsivity at the
lower end and it blends intospontaneity and then
flexibility.
And then at the top end we'vegot rigidity.
And given the choice, weprobably want to be in between
spontaneous and flexible.
'cause that's gonna keep uscontented.
That's gonna keep us happy.
(09:50):
And mean we're able to deal withwhatever the world can chuck at
us.
But OCPD pushes us into that topend of rigidity with everything.
And it's not realistic to thinkthat we can live there happily.
And treating it is trickybecause as I say, people with it
think that it's everybody elsethat needs to change, not them.
If only everyone else fitted inwith their viewpoint, then they
(10:14):
wouldn't be angry or anxious orstressed all the time.
'cause I think that their viewis always the right one.
So the first step is insight.
Awareness.
It's recognising that they havethis overly conscientious
personality that gets in the wayof a normal life.
(10:34):
It's been long said with athousand different problems that
the first step in overcoming itis recognising that you have the
problem.
And so maybe this podcastepisode can do that.
Maybe not for you, maybe foryour partner or your friend.
I doubt though that someone withOCPD is gonna take too kindly to
(10:55):
being emailed a link to anarticle all about it with a,
Hey, saw this and thought of younote.
But there's probably some subtleways of bringing it into
conversation, even if all you dois say when it's appropriate,
you know?
I do worry about you, Jeff.
You seem far too conscientious.
Ah, I dunno how you live like itsometimes.
(11:17):
That that need for rigidity mustmake things really hard in a
world that is so unpredictable.
You know, I dunno, maybe thatcould go one or two ways.
Another reason why it can seemso normal to have these traits
is that it tends to run infamilies.
Now is this nature or nurture?
Who knows?
Probably both.
But it could well be thatsomeone with OCPD was brought up
(11:41):
with a parent who was the same.
And so it cements in this ideathat it's normal to think that
everyone's got high expectationsof you and you should worry what
people think.
So to bring that up in aconversation can be helpful.
Things like.
You know, Jeff, you're very muchlike your Dad sometimes.
It does make me smile, and aslong as you don't turn into a
(12:03):
complete control freak like himwho constantly worries about
perfectionism, I'm sure you'llbe fine.
Now, I keep using Jeff herebecause although women do have
OCPD.
It's often thought to be morecommon in men, although that
might just reflect on how thesetraits are noticed or reported.
(12:24):
So more studies need to be done.
And if there's anybody studyingpsychology at uni at the minute
that's listening to these sortsof podcast episodes, maybe
you've got some, you've got,you've got some research to do
here.
And I've talked about havingthese conversations really'cause
one of the biggest factors insomeone dealing with OCPD is the
support that their family givesthem.
(12:45):
Having their family involved isreally, really important.
And that's for any personalitydisorder, actually if I'm, if
I'm honest.
If you can find the most brokenpart of someone, the angriest,
darkest, most spiteful part ofthem, and love them, not because
of those parts, but despitethose parts.
(13:08):
Then they can heal and you canbe proud of both of you,
especially when they don't evensee that what they're doing is
ultimately hurting them.
OCPD can sometimes get picked upin marriage guidance sessions or
family therapy, and having anunderstanding family that can
support by both acceptingsomeone's problem and
(13:29):
challenging them a little isreally, really helpful.
But they're probably gonna needa psychotherapist to help them
with this, to help them tounravel their irrational
thoughts, their irrationalbeliefs, maybe even help them to
learn how to repairrelationships that might have
been damaged, especially atwork.
Because their work is likely toplay a really huge part of their
(13:52):
life, far bigger than is fairbecause they're convinced that
the place would fall apartwithout them.
That they are the keystone toeverything holding the business
together.
And of course they're not.
It just feels that way.
And because of theirconscientiousness, they have to
put in the work.
They have to have an empty intray and a clean desk.
(14:13):
And if they haven't, well thenthey obviously weren't working
hard enough and so probably endup going in at weekends as well.
So it is not a fun disorder atall if there is such a thing as
a fun disorder, but it can bereally very nice to see somebody
come through it.
Now, it is hard work for them.
From a self-help perspectivethough, the things to focus on
(14:37):
would be things like.
Emotional regulation, learningsome social skills, distress
tolerance.
Actually practicing feeling outof control of situations, hence
the need for the emotionalregulation skills.
So that needs to come first andembracing novelty, embracing
change.
But once they see alternativesand can challenge their
(15:00):
thoughts, their work life getsbetter.
Their social life and familylife improves everything, just
feels easier, just takes a bitof time, takes a bit of patience
to make it happen.
So that's OCPD.
And if you or someone you knowneeds a little bit of help with
all of this, then you now knowthat it is possible to live with
(15:22):
it.
And maybe even overcome it intime, or at least minimise the
negatives of it.
The therapy's very clientdriven.
You almost have to teach them tobe psychotherapists so they can
kind of therap themselves.
They might even think that theyknow more about how to be a
therapist than the therapistdoes, which is difficult for the
therapist.
(15:43):
It's all because of theirproblem in the first place.
OCPD makes people a little bitskeptical, which is why it's a
good idea and why we oftensuggest things like journaling
to help them understand a bitmore about the emotions that
they're experiencing, ratherthan just intellectualising
everything.
When they start journaling, yousee, it starts off with a list
(16:05):
of things that happened thatday.
They just describe what they didrather than how they felt, but
with time they can gain moreemotional intelligence and can
actually be quite diligent indoing their homework.
So if a therapist asks them todo some relaxation exercises two
or three times a week, they'llquite likely pull them up on it
and say, well, which is it?
(16:26):
Two or three?
And if you tell them that threetimes would be great.
But don't worry if they only doit twice, you can pretty much
guarantee they'll do it Monday,Wednesday, Friday without fail,
and that's not gonna do anybodyany harm.
Speaking of which, if you needto take some time out for
yourself two or three times aweek, do remember on Patreon
(16:47):
I've got all these hypnotherapyrelaxation tracks for you.
There's a different one everyweek, as well as full podcast
episodes that are separate tothe public feed first thing on a
Monday morning.
So head over to Patreon.com andlook me up if you're not already
there listening to this anyway.
'cause patrons get my publicepisodes a day or so early and
(17:08):
you can have a chill out with ahypnotherapy track as well, if
you like.
Anyway, I shall leave you toyour week.
Have a good one.
I'll speak to you later on.
Ta ta.
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