Social Capital

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This week I'm looking at how everyday moments with others help us feel more connected. From quick chats to shared experiences, we explore what fills our social meter and what happens when it runs low. It’s a gentle reminder to reach out, notice those around us, and stay open, even when it feels easier to hide.

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Episode Transcript

Richard (00:00):
Hello folks.
It's Friday again, nearly theweekend.
And whether you are gonna becurled up on the sofa or out and
about, I hope you're going to dowhat feeds you.
And that might mean rest.
It might mean productivity.
There are no rules here.
'cause sometimes what you needisn't about being introverted or

(00:23):
extroverted.
It's about where your energy'ssitting right now.
If your social battery's alreadyfull from last week.
A quiet weekend might lift yourspirits more than a social one,
but if you've been running on anempty, maybe a natter with a
mate or even a smile from astranger is just what you need.

(00:44):
Which brings me onto somethingthat I've been thinking about
lately, A concept called socialcapital, which I know sounds a
bit technical, but it's reallyjust about human connection.
Imagine an internal fuel tankthat fills up whenever we feel
connected to somebody else.

(01:04):
Now, that can come from a deep,heartfelt chat with a friend,
but also just literally apassing smile on the train or a
quick Hello in the supermarketaisle.
In transactional analysis, thesecan get referred to as strokes.
You either give a stroke or youreceive a stroke.
And these strokes, this socialcapital, is what binds us all

(01:29):
together.
Not through grand gestures, butthe everyday moments that say I
see you.
Like when I went to thesupermarket the other week for
some bread, I ended up changingmy mind, putting something back,
and then going to get a bigmassive French stick because
French stick, isn't it?

(01:49):
So I was walking down this aislewith this giant breadstick,
poking out my basket.
This woman clocks it and says toher son, Oh, we need one of
them.
And I could see she was about tohead in the wrong direction.
So I just sort of pointed hertowards the right aisle, that's
all.
And she smiled.
And I smiled, and that was it.
Just a tiny throwawayinteraction that just fills up

(02:14):
our tank just a little bit.
And these moments, theseseemingly little strokes, they
aren't nothing.
They're the glue that holds oursocial fabric together.
And the more of them we have,the more resilient we feel, the
more likely to cope well withstress we are.
To empathise with others, tofeel like we belong.

(02:35):
And that's something that manyof us are craving without even
realising it.
Especially now in this veryremote age when working from
home and digital connectionshave made it easier than ever to
drift.
So we might be sending quickmemes to somebody or a little DM
and thinking that we're stayingin touch, but the emotional

(02:56):
depth, the shared space, the I'mreally here with you, that's
what often goes missing and itmatters.
Sometimes it's the sharedexperiences that top up our
social capital the most, the pubnights, the weekend retreats,
even just being stuck in atraffic jam with a guy you're
with.
A colleague, just laughing aboutit later on.

(03:19):
These little things, they becomepart of our story, our
connection, which we don'talways get through screens.
Now we can to a degree, if it'sdone properly.
A good discord server oflike-minded folk can absolutely
be better than nothing.
And if that's your thing.
Do that as much as you like.
And of course not everyone needsthe same kind of connection at

(03:43):
the same time.
For some, a quiet walk withsomeone tops them up just as
much as a loud dinner partywould for somebody else.
And that's okay.
But if you ever feel likesomething's missing, bit a
loneliness creeping in, it mightbe time to check in with your
social capital.
And that doesn't mean throwingyourself into a crowd.

(04:06):
It literally could just be asmile to somebody in the
supermarket.
Just a message, a recognition ofpresence when somebody's talking
to you.
In the full episode over onPatreon, I dive a bit deeper
into this about why thesemoments are so important to us,

(04:26):
how we might be emotionallyshutting down to protect
ourselves, and how to gentlyreconnect even if it feels hard.
So.
If this resonates or if you'rejust fancy topping up your own
social capital a little bittoday, come and join me on
Patreon, because connectiondoesn't have to be deep or
dramatic to be meaningful.

(04:47):
Sometimes it's just pointingsomebody towards the right bread
aisle, and that's powerful too,in its way.
Anyway, have a lovely weekend.
Whatever you do, I'll speak toyou again soon.
Bye for now.