Stages of Growth

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Today I want to give you a little introduction into a way of understanding emotional and psychological growth called the 7 stages of process.It gives us a compassionate, flexible way of thinking about where we are on our journey. Whether we’re stuck, shifting, or feeling fairly sorted.

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Episode Transcript

Richard (00:00):
And hello to you and welcome to the podcast.
Today I want to give you alittle taster, a bite-sized
introduction to something thatCarl Rogers came up with.
And if you've never heard ofCarl Rogers, no worries.
He was one of the key figures inhumanistic psychology.

(00:20):
Kind of people are naturallygood and can grow and heal if
they're given the rightenvironment, type of therapist.
And one of his contributions wassomething that he called the
seven stages of process, a wayof understanding emotional and
psychological growth.
And it gives us quite acompassionate, flexible way of

(00:43):
thinking about where we are onour journey, whether we're
stuck, shifting, or feelingfairly sorted.
So I thought today, I'll giveyou a quick overview of these
stages, a little warm up beforeyou go and listen to the full
episode, which you can find overon Patreon, where we go a bit
deeper into each stage.

(01:03):
But here's the basics to wetyour whistle.
So.
Stage one, you might think ofthis as the I'm not the problem
stage.
This is where people often don'teven know that they're stuck.
Or if they do, they're certain,it's because of everybody else.
Their emotions are eitherirrelevant or they're scary.

(01:25):
I'm fine, is their catchphraseand therapy might feel pointless
at this stage to them becausethey're stubborn a little bit,
not because they're stubbornpeople, but usually'cause
they're fearful.
Change feels risky, but withtherapy they can begin to see
some alternatives and move on tostage two.
The maybe it's not justeverybody else stage.

(01:48):
Where there's a flicker ofinsight, there's still blame,
but a tiny crack appears.
Somebody might admit.
Yeah, I do lose my temper a bit,but it'll come with a, but only
because they push my buttons.
This is where awareness beginsto grow so they can move on to
stage three, where they'rebeginning to notice their
emotions.

(02:08):
Not necessarily feeling themparticularly deeply, but they're
observing them.
I think I felt sad about that,someone might say.
There's still some distance, butyou can see the curiosity
emerging.
Patterns become visible.
Connections start to form.
Its progress, they're halfwaythere.
Stage four is them stepping intovulnerability.

(02:31):
Feelings start to come throughin real time, not just memories
of them.
So somebody might crymid-sentence and surprise
themselves.
It can be quite daunting, butit's healing as well.
And this is where therapy canstart to get real because it's
transformative at this stage.
Stage five has got some realacceptance of how they feel.

(02:54):
Emotions aren't just felt,they're owned.
Maybe even welcomed becausethere's less shame about them.
There's more self-compassion.
People start owning theirfeelings rather than blaming
people or avoiding theirfeelings.
They might say things like.
I am angry and that's okay.
That kind of thing.
Life feels more honest, even ifit is still pretty messy.

(03:18):
But it leads on to stage six.
The I'm okay with being humanstage where vulnerability isn't
seen as a weakness anymore.
You can laugh.
You can cry almost at the sametime and not feel broken.
Relationships can deepen,communication can improve.
There's a sense of alignmentbetween what you feel and how

(03:38):
you live so that you can be opento stage seven where you can
live authentically.
And this is what Rogers would'vecalled a fully functioning
person.
Someone who knows that they'renot perfect, but doesn't mind.
Someone who responds to lifewith openness and flexibility,
they know who they are, evenwhen things are hard.

(04:00):
And they trust themselves.
Now, this isn't a finaldestination.
It doesn't mean you never dropback a stage when life gets in
the way, but it's a stage youcan hopefully return to.
So there you go.
A whistle stop tour of Roger'smodel of emotional growth.
And like I said, it's not astaircase that you climb and
never fall down.

(04:20):
You can drift back and forthbetween stages all the time.
That's being human, that'snormal.
And if this resonates with you,if you are curious where you
might be on that journey.
Why don't you come and join meon Patreon for the full episode
where we're going to each stagein a bit more detail with some
examples and reflections andsome practical ideas as well to

(04:41):
help you support yourself orsomeone else on their path.
And honestly, knowing about thismodel, even just loosely can
make a huge difference.
'Cause it reminds us thatemotional change isn't a light
switch, it's more like asunrise.
It happens slowly, almostwithout you noticing it.
And even if it's cloudy, it'sstill progress.

(05:04):
Anyway, I'll see you over onPatreon.
Bye for now.