The Save The Marriage Podcast
Learn how to save your marriage and improve your relationship. Stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship. Join Dr. Lee H. Baucom for this impactful podcast that can save your marriage.
Episodes
July 30, 2025 • 17 mins
Your spouse thinks it’s hopeless. You may even be wondering that, too. But is it? Is it hopeless?
Or is the problem that your spouse is hopeless — not the situation?
Let’s be honest: if you give up hope, it may become a hopeless situation.
Sometimes, having hope is not based on seeing the way. We find the way because we hold onto hope.
In one of my books, Beyond the 3 Barriers, I note that one barrier for your spouse is ho...
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July 23, 2025 • 16 mins
Are your efforts to save your marriage getting stalled? Maybe we should take a look at your plan.
You do have a plan, don't you?
Let's talk about 5 reasons your plan (or lack of plan) may be the trouble -- and what we can do to make a switch.
To be crystal clear, all 5 reasons are in your control. YOU can choose how you move forward in each of these issues. You may not have control over your spouse's reaction, but you do have...
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July 16, 2025 • 26 mins
Every marriage crisis starts as a crisis of an individual. As it expands into the marriage, the question is whether you, the spouse, will get pulled under by the crisis.
Have you ever tried to save a drowning person?
This can be kind of like that. Get too close, and they will drag you under with them. Their desperation will overcome any sensible decision. Running purely on terror, they will flail, grab, and pull at anything t...
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July 9, 2025 • 24 mins
What makes a marriage work?
What makes a marriage GREAT?
Maybe you are trying to save your marriage, and aren't sure if that even matters. Maybe you are trying to aim your marriage in a better direction, and aren't sure what that even looks like. Or maybe you are considering getting married, but aren't sure if you have what it takes.
In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I'll give you the 5 core ingredients to have...
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July 2, 2025 • 19 mins
The email said, “I talked my spouse into going to therapy.” Another one asked, “How do I drag my spouse to therapy?” Oof. The first person was proud of the “convincing.” The second person got my response:
You Don’t!
(Unless, of course, you want to damn the process from the very beginning… and in that case, drag away!)
Marriage therapy tends to be the default response to a marriage crisis (although the stats would not support thi...
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June 25, 2025 • 14 mins
Nothing gets your focus and attention like a crisis. But sometimes, that Crisis Clarity isn't so helpful.
Let's backtrack just a minute. What is Crisis Clarity?
Just for a moment, let's assume that you have had a sense that something was not right with your marriage. Maybe you asked about it. Or perhaps you just hoped for the best -- that things would turn around, settle down, and get on-track.
Then suddenly, the crisis emer...
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June 18, 2025 • 21 mins
I can’t count how many times a couple has come to me for “help with our communication skills.” Funny thing is, they communicate just fine.
Then why are they stuck in conflict? Why are they disconnected? Why does it seem like they aren’t on the same team?
Viewpoints. About each other and about the situation that caused the conflict.
And because they have decided to prove their viewpoint to their spouse. That is very dangerou...
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June 11, 2025 • 20 mins
At the beginning of a coaching session, my clients often tell me what they have been focused on in their marriage crisis. Almost always, they are focusing on the wrong things.
And in the process, they are not focusing on the right things.
Where we focus is what gets our attention. Focus on the wrong things, and the wrong things get our attention… our energy… and our investment.
That can head you right toward disaster and furth...
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June 4, 2025 • 23 mins
The email was pages long, all about the problems in her marriage. Each line was about how her husband had ruined the marriage. She pointed out actions of her husband, and he did make mistakes (no abuse, mind you).
She wanted to know what to do -- how to save her marriage -- given the fact that it wasn't her fault. She was clear that she wanted the marriage, but she just didn't know what to do, after all he had done to damage th...
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May 28, 2025 • 22 mins
Have you done an online search for info on how to save your marriage? Were you overwhelmed with the results?? And the crazy amount of different approaches??
How do you sort through them? How do you find a real approach, from someone who knows what they are doing?
It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.
And the problem is, some approaches do more harm than good. And many times, you don’t even know who it is that is givin...
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May 14, 2025 • 65 mins
Does your brain help or hinder your efforts to save your marriage?
If you are like most people, your brain is actually a barrier in your efforts. It keeps you stuck in old, unhelpful patterns. And some of those pre-date even your marriage.
Unfortunately, most people just don't have an "owner's manual" for their brain... and how it is running. Which is too bad. We could all use some upgrades and some rewiring. Which is the go...
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May 7, 2025 • 22 mins
Do you feel like you are stuck in limbo? That crazy spot where you can’t move forward, but aren’t ending things? Is it a spouse who has you stuck there?
Well, that was the situation for “J.” He wrote me because his spouse could not decide on whether to stay or go, work on things or walk away.
He told me he was stuck in Limbo, didn’t know what to do, and didn’t know how to get his spouse to work on the relationship.
What shoul...
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April 30, 2025 • 23 mins
Maybe you have heard these lines:
"Love should just happen."
"This is just too much work."
"I'm not feeling it, so it must not be true love."
"I just don't feel the attraction/excitement I used to feel. Something is wrong."
Have you ever been told something so many times that you begin to doubt yourself? You begin to believe what the other person (an upset spouse, friends, family, etc.) says -- even if it goes against w...
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April 23, 2025 • 23 mins
Let me say it here, in writing: I am NOT opposed to marital therapy. I am quite concerned, however, on how marital therapy happens now. I am concerned about the effectiveness of marital therapy. And I am concerned for people who blindly seek out marital therapy, expecting it to help.
If you don't know it, my training and background is as a marriage and family therapist. I spent years, and several degrees, preparing to be a ma...
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April 16, 2025 • 18 mins
Many times, I watch couples caught in a spiral of accusations, each convinced of maliciousness on the part of their spouse. But I don't think that is actually it.
In fact, many times, both people in front of me seem to be hurting, but not malicious.
Which is why it seems so clear to me that maliciousness is not (usually) the issue.
I have that "usually" in there, because there are abusive relationships... in which case, someone...
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April 9, 2025 • 14 mins
Just to be clear, I am ALL FOR forgiveness. I have talked about on the Save The Marriage Podcast and on my Thriveology Podcast.
And in a marriage, there are ample opportunities to practice forgiving. "Every-day forgiving" and big-time forgiving. In such an intimate relationship, you are going to step on toes, hurt each other's feelings, make bad decisions -- and still have to figure out how to move forward. You do that by forg...
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April 2, 2025 • 21 mins
I used to notice how often an engaged couple would become so focused on getting married -- the wedding -- that they had a hard time focusing on what the process of being married would be.
The reason this concerned me is because I know what happens next. And unless they make a shift, their marriage will hit a disconnect event, a moment of hurt.
At the other end... when a marriage is hurting and in trouble, I watch as people once ...
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March 27, 2025 • 15 mins
There are lots of mistakes people make in their efforts to save their marriage. This particular mistake is what I consider to be the 3rd biggest. I hear it in the questions people send me every single week.
In fact, I hear this mistake probably 3 or more times each day. And here is the sad thing: the mistake is made with all the best of intentions. . . and all the worst of results.
Like all mistakes, it is avoidable. (If so...
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March 19, 2025 • 22 mins
Sometimes, just a hint or trick will do it. Maybe you want a trick or hint for an online game. Or even a trick for a better pancake. A hint for a better pushup.
But hints and tricks won’t work for saving a marriage.
Which is what I try to explain when I get the daily emails and voicemails, just asking for a hint or trick. Nothing wrong with asking. But the answer is, “you need more than a hint or trick. You need an approach...
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March 12, 2025 • 23 mins
I know it hurts. And I know that the pain, the anger, and the frustration can get you to act in ways that are not helpful.
Lots of people are not sure about what TO do (which is why I created the Save The Marriage System). But they may be less clear on what they should STOP doing.
In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I tell you about 5 very common, very unhelpful, things I see people do when they are trying to save ...
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