Episode Transcript
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Socool Daniella (00:20):
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Josh Scramble (00:25):
The USPR Super
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Donald Trump (00:31):
So I just want
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Jerry Pancake (01:15):
Welcome back to
the Miller Morning Mad House,
everybody. First of all, thankyou for listening. My name is
Jerry Pancake, and I am herewith my brother from another
mother, Josh Scramble. In thisepisode, we're serving up a
toast to the wild side withtales of throuples and the
(01:36):
undeniable allure of warm vodka.But before you dive in, don't
forget to hit that rate button.
Every rating helps us stay onthe air and out of the vodka
aisle. Big thanks to socoolshirts.com for keeping us
looking sharp. And a heads up tojoin us at all ingest trivia
with Josh Gramble at theMarshall J Gardner Center on the
(01:58):
day after Thanksgiving or BlackFriday as some people call it.
It's trivia post turkey style,stretchy pants, optional, but
highly recommended, and you canalso get those at
socoolshirts.com. Alright.
(02:19):
Welcome back to the MillerMorning Madhouse. So one of the
ideas that we were presented,this one by a fan, Rank the top
5 weirdest things you found onMiller Beach this week, and
instead I'm gonna spin that alittle bit. I'm gonna spin it to
(02:44):
maybe the top. We'll just do thetop 2 weirdest things that had
happened on the beach this this,season. So many things to choose
from.
There is, but one is very it's astandout for me. So we, we were
(03:04):
on the beach one morning, meand, missus pancake, and, we
were all relaxing, having a nicejust a nice calm day. It was
during the week, I think.
Josh Scramble (03:19):
So weekday. So no
weirdos should be around quite
early. Theoretically.Theoretically. Yeah.
I get it.
Jerry Pancake (03:24):
Everything here
is theoretical for sure. So
we're down there and, there is acouple of neighbors come down
and, there's 3 of them in fact,and they are in they're in the
mood for a couple things. One ofthem was
(03:45):
warm straight vodka in a usedGatorade bottle that we were
offered, so it was very sweet ofher to offer us.
Josh Scramble (03:53):
Very generous,
but I usually have a policy to
only drink out of a Gatoradebottle when I hear the seal
crack.
Jerry Pancake (04:00):
Well, it was
unusual in the fact that it was
it was kind of a morning ishtime. It's a proper brunch hour.
Yeah. And you so my firstthought was, like, what happened
to the Gatorade? Becausecouldn't you have just drank
(04:23):
half the Gatorade?
Josh Scramble (04:24):
Dump the vodka
in.
Jerry Pancake (04:25):
Yeah. Or just
mixed it in a with a dip
something else? Well, that wouldbe discretion, and
Josh Scramble (04:33):
a lot of people
don't have that. I mean
Jerry Pancake (04:35):
But didn't even
have a mixer or ice Just
straight
Josh Scramble (04:38):
warm vodka.
Jerry Pancake (04:39):
Straight warm
vodka. So needless to say, I
took a swig of it, because justjust because it's You have to be
polite, here, and it was it wasterrible. I don't know what kind
of vodka, maybe Kirkland orsomething. One of those.
Josh Scramble (04:57):
That's way too
high class for a clear for a
used Gatorade bottle. You'retalking it's Skoll or Popov?
Like,
Jerry Pancake (05:05):
one
Josh Scramble (05:05):
of those really
it the it's a plastic container,
you know.
Jerry Pancake (05:09):
Yeah. Well, they
had it's then that negates the
reason to put it in anotherplastic container.
Josh Scramble (05:15):
Maybe they had it
in a very large cheap container.
Jerry Pancake (05:18):
Oh, so he didn't
wanna bring the gallon down just
to quart?
Josh Scramble (05:22):
No. He just
wanted a little bit of a time.
He is not he you know, he wantsto travel and drink and then
come home and drink.
Jerry Pancake (05:28):
And then if he
got pulled over by the cops, of
course, they wouldn't know thatit was vodka in there. You could
just say it was water.
Josh Scramble (05:35):
I'm well, I mean,
you could, but the overwhelming
smell of shame and disgust andbooze on you would probably give
away that it's not water.
Jerry Pancake (05:45):
So yeah. And so
the other thing was there were 3
of the people.
Josh Scramble (05:49):
I was just going
to ask. You mentioned there were
3, which seems like an oddnumber of people to be hanging
out.
Jerry Pancake (05:54):
Well, it's it's a
throuple situation. I don't know
if you know what those are, JoshScramble.
Josh Scramble (06:00):
I I now that you
mentioned that, I know exactly
who I think I know who you'retalking about. But You
Jerry Pancake (06:05):
don't wanna point
them out. No. Whatever works for
you, I certainly, it will nevertalk against it. I have not
tried it personally. It seemsvery, very complicated.
Josh Scramble (06:15):
Well, I don't
like to share, like, anything.
Like, I
Jerry Pancake (06:18):
You you have that
reputation. Food?
Josh Scramble (06:21):
Oh, no. No. I
yeah. I will not give you a
French fry, so I'm not gonnagive you my main fry. Like, back
the fuck off.
Like no. But I don't like toshare. And I mean, my theory
always has been. I have nevertried the, manhage as some would
say. But, my theory is, youknow, if you're going to bring
in a extra member of the castfor your activities, it's
(06:41):
usually better to be singlebecause, you know, if you've
been eating the same cereal fora decade and, you know, all of a
sudden one morning you get someCaptain Crunch.
Captain Crunch instead of someCheerios. You start eating that
for a while and think
Jerry Pancake (06:54):
You're gonna like
that sugar for sure.
Josh Scramble (06:56):
And then, like,
you know, 2 months down the
road, you think, oh, shit. Ihaven't had Cheerios, and and I
don't wanna go back to hearthealthy. I want my sugary
Captain Crunch
Jerry Pancake (07:04):
in my mouth.
Well, my grandpappy, gave me
that advice when I was a youngchild. Wait. I My grandpa,
grandpa pancake, he said, don'tever do the swinger stuff.
Josh Scramble (07:20):
And I
Jerry Pancake (07:21):
didn't know what
he was talking about. I was on a
swing. Oh, wow. Yeah. And hejust random he was sometimes, he
would just randomly try to teachme these lessons even though I
was 4 years old and just say,like, maybe it'll, you know,
stick in his head later in life.
He'll and and that's what hewould say. He said later in
life, you'll know what I'mtalking about.
Josh Scramble (07:42):
So did it, like,
kids ever get hurt on the
playground on the swings andthen you just run around, that's
what my grandpa told me. Don'tplay in those swingings.
Jerry Pancake (07:49):
I mean, it my
parents and my grandparents may
be afraid of everything. Thatactually is on brand. And, also,
also, when we moved here, Iautomatically assume that every
single couple here, includingyou, Josh Scramble, that
(08:11):
everybody was swingers.
Josh Scramble (08:13):
I I could see
that, but, no, I obviously am
not. And if
Jerry Pancake (08:17):
I don't know you
and you come up to me as a
couple here, I will assume thatstill.
Josh Scramble (08:23):
You will assume
that. You will assume that a
proposition is coming in?
Jerry Pancake (08:27):
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Like Well,
Josh Scramble (08:29):
I mean, you do
have some net you do have some
nice flapjacks there for JerryPancake, I will say. So, I mean,
you're a prime target for athrouple.
Jerry Pancake (08:38):
But I'm not
available for a throuple. I I I
have weird intimacy stuff as youcan only imagine if you know me.
And I, like, I don't want athird person to deal with.
Josh Scramble (08:52):
It's been enough
dealing with 1 person, let alone
a second. Like, you know, thosemornings you just wake up and
you just think to yourself, ifeveryone would just leave me
alone for 5 minutes and you havethat, like, you know, God forbid
your wife or husband or whateverjust like not that they're
trying to do anything but bugsyou, and you're like, I just
wanna sit here and do nothing.And then having it twice, like,
(09:14):
I just
Ru Paul (09:15):
You better work.
Josh Scramble (09:17):
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Chad GPT, you're
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Jerry Pancake (09:52):
Oh, sweetie. I'm
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Fashion advice?
Really? Josh darling,
Jerry Pancake (10:09):
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t shirt and a fitted tee? Honey,let's get real. I'm here to make
sure you never look basic again.And don't get me started on your
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Uh-oh. I'm in trouble. Oh, don'tworry, babe. I'm not here to
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Whether you're trying to win atlife or just find the perfect
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Josh Scramble (10:36):
So you're saying
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Exactly. I'm not
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I'm fabulous intelligence. And,honey, you better believe I'm
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This is your girl Gwyneth. When
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Jerry Pancake (12:10):
So, yeah, that's
me every single day of the week,
Josh. Well, I don't like, I'llbe in the kitchen, you know,
like, I don't know, makinggetting a cup of coffee, and,
Jen Pancake will wander inthere. And she's always sneaks
up, but, like, she's thesneakiest. Like a ninja? Yeah.
And then I'll go, ah, like,it'll she'll scare me, and then
(12:32):
she'll laugh. And she's like, doyou didn't hear me, like,
walking through the house? AndI'm like, no. I was just focused
on my the voices in my own head.Like, they're loud in the
morning.
I can't you can't sneak up on melike that. But, yeah, I I I
don't, I don't wanna have athrouple, but it's interesting.
(12:53):
Those those were a couple thingsthat happened at the same time
on the beach to me. Have you anyany weird interactions this
season?
Josh Scramble (13:04):
Oh, when are
they're not weird interactions
on the beach? On the beach, offthe beach. Also, I'm I think I
just have a face that says,please come talk to me if you
don't know me. Like, the numberof times I've just been
approached by people, like, hey,like, hello. Like, I don't
really wanna talk to strangers.
I will, but, like, most of themsuck. And for some reason,
(13:26):
especially, like, childrenchildren and special needs kids
love me or special needs people,I should just say, love me to
death and, like, engage me. Imake zero eye contact, yet I
still get the approach of, like,hey. I wanna hang out with you
all night.
Jerry Pancake (13:40):
Oh, yeah. Crazy
people are they are drawn to me
as well. Like, in New Orleans, Ialmost had a nervous breakdown
during COVID because there isthis guy trying to make some
joke about my shoes. Like, wherewhere are your shoes at or
whatever, and you're supposed tosay, like,
Josh Scramble (14:00):
whatever street.
He knows where you bought your
share, where you got your
Jerry Pancake (14:03):
Yeah. Like, yeah.
Like, on Duval Street or
something you're supposed to sayshit. And it was eerie because
we went during COVID, so, like,there's no one out except for
this crazy guy and he so, ofcourse, makes a beeline to me
and, like, I just told him, getaway from me. And then I like,
he went away and I was like, youknow, it's COVID.
(14:27):
You gotta stay away from people.And then he got mad because I
didn't give him any money. Andthen so we walked like a
different way and, toward theriver and that was a, treat
because, someone was bathing inthe filthy Mississippi River,
and they were fully nude.
Josh Scramble (14:47):
Well, taking a
bar of soap into the Mississippi
River down there is pointlessbecause, like you said, it's
filthy.
Jerry Pancake (14:53):
Also, like, why
are you doing full nude?
Josh Scramble (14:56):
It is New
Orleans.
Jerry Pancake (14:58):
But, like, you
could have your underwear on or
swimsuit.
Josh Scramble (15:03):
Mister pancake, I
think once you get in the water
with the idea of bathing inpublic, I think all bets are off
then, like
Jerry Pancake (15:09):
I guess if you
only have one set of clothes,
you don't wanna get your oneunderwear
Josh Scramble (15:14):
wet. Yeah. You're
one underwear.
Jerry Pancake (15:16):
But it probably
needs to be washed.
Josh Scramble (15:18):
The most critical
piece of
Jerry Pancake (15:19):
clothing you own.
It was like, you know, it's 95
degrees or whatever. So, like,you're it's not gonna not dry
out. Were you
Josh Scramble (15:27):
there in the
summer when this happened? Yeah.
Jerry Pancake (15:29):
It was the summer
of COVID road trip.
Josh Scramble (15:33):
Wow. Summer
COVID, and you went to one of
the most packed places on earth?
Jerry Pancake (15:37):
There was no it
was very it made it worse
because there was no one. Everysingle thing was closed, except
for the graveyard. So needlessto say, it didn't help, my
mental situation at the time.But, yeah, these interactions
with people that you don't wannatalk to, like, I don't wanna
(16:01):
make eye contact with anyone.
Josh Scramble (16:03):
It it doesn't
help. That that's my rule of
thumb. No eye contact. Primeexample. Me and miss Scramble
were going to dinner in thecity, and we were walking there.
I'm wearing a Beatles shirt, andthis woman just stops me. Like,
full on stops you. Like, oh, canI say something about your
shirt? And I'm like, okay. Andshe wasn't crazy or anything.
She's like, I'm expecting, oh, Ihad sex with John Lennon or,
Jerry Pancake (16:24):
you know, I was
Oh, that would be a good story.
Josh Scramble (16:26):
I knew Ringo's
brother or Yeah. You know,
something like that. No. It wasjust like, I still love that
album so much. Like, I I justlove that shirt.
It's like, yeah. I think a lotof people like Abbey Road, like
No
Jerry Pancake (16:37):
one no one liked
The Beatles. Yeah.
Josh Scramble (16:40):
Yeah. I was
expecting some landmark, like,
oh, yeah.
Jerry Pancake (16:44):
And there are I
don't know if anyone knows this.
There might not be as manyBeatles shirts as Jerry Clemens
bootleg shirts, but you couldprobably get a Beatles shirt at,
like, Target or
Josh Scramble (16:55):
I would think. I
mean, it's
Jerry Pancake (16:57):
a bigger market
than They are they the most
popular band of all time,probably? I mean, yeah.
Josh Scramble (17:04):
You have to put
it up there. Behind Stones. I
mean, you could easily get ashirt. It's not like they're
getting hacked
Jerry Pancake (17:09):
and, you know No.
Josh Scramble (17:10):
And putting Paul
McCartney's face on panties.
Jerry Pancake (17:12):
So there might be
a lot of people wearing Beatles
shirts enough so that the ladyshouldn't probably talk to every
single person.
Josh Scramble (17:19):
That's what I'm
saying. Like, how many people
wear something, like do you walkup to everyone with a Rolling
Stones logo? Be like, oh my god.I love that. Like, just shut up
and keep walking.
Jerry Pancake (17:28):
No. I I love Van
Halen, but if I see someone
wearing a Van Halen shirt, Idon't talk to him.
Josh Scramble (17:34):
I don't
Jerry Pancake (17:34):
know him or not.
I don't need another friend.
Josh Scramble (17:37):
No. I I don't
hey. I get you. My
Jerry Pancake (17:41):
I got just a
short amount of time.
Josh Scramble (17:44):
We've probably
got a few we could, like, kick
to the curb, honestly.
Music (17:48):
Good morning, America.
Josh Scramble (17:51):
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Radio, the best station between
Rush and Ripley.
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All you guys do
is just sit up there
and talk about
how fucking cool you are.
Barack Obama (21:14):
Miller Beach, this
is your president. When I'm
hanging out at Flamingos, Ilight a camel and put on the
Miller Morning Mad House withJerry Pancake and Josh Scramble.
Music (21:25):
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Jerry Pancake (21:41):
Alright, folks.
That's it for today's episode of
the Miller Morning Mad House.Big thanks to our sponsors, So
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out for your next questionable tshirt. And don't forget, I'll
ingest trivia with Josh Scramblehosted at the Marshall j Gardner
(22:01):
Center.
It's the only trivia night wherethe questions are just as
unpredictable as the answers.Join us if you dare. And a shout
out to the Miller CommunityTheater, also at the Marshall J
Gardner Center, where the localstars shine bright. Big thanks
to the MBACD for hosting theseawesome events and making Miller
(22:23):
Beach the place to be. So we'vegot a special treat for the end
of this episode and it is apreview of our next episode.
We have a couple weeks wherewe're probably gonna be off,
but, we have kind of a behindthe music episode that we are
(22:45):
going to do for, Josh Scramble.And, it turns out, he may have
lied on his resume for thisshow. He he has worked before in
media and, went under the nameof Chuck Roundsteak. So stick
around for this preview of nextweek's episode. I think you will
(23:08):
enjoy it.
Josh Scramble (23:11):
Oh, and I like to
be perceived by my viewers. And
I usually say, well, that guy'sprobably an asshole, but, God,
he read the shit out of thatnews. Actually, it still holds
true with what I think.
Ru Paul (23:25):
He's brash?
Josh Scramble (23:26):
Hi. I'm Chuck
Roundsteak, and my dad can kick
your dad's ass. Straightforward.If you don't
like mosquitoes,
here's a story sure to piss you
off.
Ru Paul (23:35):
And the most unique
news anchor arrived.
Josh Scramble (23:37):
I'm not wearing
any pants, and this is Adjust
Your Land news.
Ru Paul (23:40):
We speak, of course,
about the one, the only, Chuck
Roundstick. Born to Angus andPhilly Brown State, some would
(24:11):
say he had a misspent youth.Watching every movie in the
house and hours of television,it was easy to see this young
boy had one dream, to be ontelevision.
Josh Scramble (24:24):
I went to school
for television production, and
after graduation, I worked at Jand N for several years behind
the scenes. I was makingoverlays, editing segment
pieces, dealing with the chaosof last minute changes. It was a
really great experience to startwith. Then one day, they
announced they were startingproduction on a new
entertainment show much likeEntertainment Tonight or Extra.
Few people thought I should try,and so I did.
(24:46):
And somehow, I ended up with ajob. Guess who made a surprise
appearance last night at thepremiere? We bet you can't. I'm
sorry. Can we just do this likeit's not the world's biggest
suck ass reading this?
I mean, wouldn't it be a loteasier if we just did it
straightforward? I always havebeen honest with my delivery.
I've always hated people whoacted the news. You can always
tell they're full of shit.People weren't stupid for better
(25:07):
or worse.
It worked out for me.
Ru Paul (25:09):
On September 9, 1988,
the world got its first view of
eye on Just a Land with anchorChuck Ralston.
Josh Scramble (25:19):
Miami Vice, great
show, our greatest show ever. We
take a look at where it ranksamong TV's best. Also, we have
Bruce Willis in the studiotalking about his next move
after the success of Die Hard.I'm Chuck Rouncey. That and more
on tonight's Eye on Jesterland.
Jerry Pancake (25:56):
Bam's a bam.
What's a bam? Well, you wouldn't
even know.
Music (26:00):
Outlets? Do you
understand the words that were
coming out of my
Josh Scramble (26:03):
mouth?
Music (26:05):
You speak it in English?