Miller Morning Madhouse: S1E9: Everything Sucks Now...

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SoCool Daniella (00:00):
All you guys do is just sit up there and talk

(00:17):
about how fucking cool you are.

Josh Scramble (00:21):
WSBR Super Beach Radio, the best station between
Rush and Ridley.

Jen Pancake (00:29):
Somehow less rage y today. Even though I know I seem
rage y most of the time.

Rage y against the machine?

Rage y against the machine. Always killing the name
up. Like today, for example, Ihad two students, a fourth and
fifth grader, and they didn'tknow how many brothers and
sisters they had because theyhave

Jerry Pancake (00:49):
so much We have situations.

Is it because, like, they're out of the
household?

I don't know. I didn't I I mean, what are you
what follow-up questions do you

What's up, my fellow burned out humans? We're
back from our extended hiatus,partly due to sickness, partly
due to being absolutely sick ofthis bullshit. But don't worry.
We've returned just in time totell you exactly why everything
sucks now. Travel, a nightmare.
Movies, unwatchable. Popculture, a flaming dumpster

(01:45):
fire. In the White House, it's aTesla dealership now. Great news
if you've got an extra 80 klaying around. Terrible news if
you were hoping for any kind offunctional leadership.
But before we spiral too fardown the drain, let's give a
huge shout out to our sponsors.So coolshirts.com. If the
world's going to hell, you mightas well look good on the way

(02:06):
down. Grab a T shirt, hoodie, orhat, and let people know you're
over it in style. The MillerCommunity Theater.
Tickets are on sale now fortheir spring musical, the twenty
fifth annual Putnam CountySpelling Bee, hitting the stage
this April at the Marshall jGardner Center. It's hilarious.
It's heartfelt, and it's one ofthe few things in life that

(02:27):
doesn't suck. Check out the shownotes for ticket links. And
finally, I'll ingest trivia withJosh scramble coming up on
Friday, March 28 at the Marshallj Gardner Center.
Get ready for a night of triviadrinks and Josh scrambles
questionable game show hostskills. Will you win? Will you

(02:48):
lose? Will you accidentallyorder a Tesla from the White
House? Only one way to find out.
Welcome back to the MillerMorning Madhouse. It's your two
favorite idiots, myself, JerryPancake. And your boy, Josh
Gramble. Bringing you the onlymorning show that gets worse
with age. And we have someapologies to make since we have
missed quite a bit of time.

(03:10):
Josh Scramble told me the otherday, almost two months since
we've recorded.

It has been quite a while.

Two months in blink of an eye.

And we also have my lovely wife here, Jenny
pancake

from

In the

blink of a nightmare.

In the blink of a nightmare. We are we are we are
back. We also have Jenny pancakehere.

Hi everyone.

And she is ready to do some funny things today, I
guess. I don't know.

Maybe.

But here has what has been happening. We, I got
COVID for Christmas from, I'm Ithink the Flamingo, which, you
know, people say that Wuhan,like, was where COVID started,
but I have other theoriesbecause

It wasn't the Flamingo, it was the side
streets.

It was someone that was at Flamingo. I'm not
they're not pumping it into theair. But I also I've gotten sick
almost every time I've gonethere. And I think the last time
I got airborne AIDS, whichluckily they have like a a good

Jabs.

Jabs for that. Got seven jabs, right before we
went to Arizona. So we've beentraveling as well. And I got
them all in one arm. The nurseor you just get shots from the
pharmacist now.

Think it's just the cashier.

Yeah. Like they

It's a cashier and scrubs.

Yeah. They like have this cubicle they can set
up in, like, five seconds.

Oh, when I

In the Walgreens in Lake Oh, that's where I go
for all my vaccinations is LakeStation. Because no one in Lake
Station you're not gonna wait inline there. No one is getting
vaccinated over there.

That's offensive.

I'm sorry.

Is it really offensive? It's a Lake Station
night.

Jay can't take us from

Most people are at convenience stores or getting
cigarettes. I mean, there's9,000 guests.

Oh yeah. If you want

to line up They've been to everything.

I got seven jabs all in one arm because I didn't
want to roll up my other sleeveand then immediately got super
sick once I got home frombeautiful sunny and warm
Arizona. Josh scramble, wherehave you been traveled to?

I did not get COVID for Christmas. I stayed
healthy, but I did bring oversome food and wanted to stay
here to escape the, chaos thatwas going on at my house. But
you guys were sick, so that wasnot an option.

Jerry was dead that day. I remember. I was. You're
like, woah. He's really sick.

Yeah. I walked in and Jerry

over the couch.

Jerry was in a semi fetal position under a
blanket looking like deathwarmed over. But, we just went
skiing because, you know, we'rethose people who go from a cold
environment to a colderenvironment. So we've visited
the lovely country of Canada,which was interesting in the,
political times we're in right

Our fifty first state, I hear.

But they don't yeah. It was very interesting
being an American abroad duringeverything. Yeah. They're kinda
banding together.

Cue the Russian national anthem.

If you ever want to unite another country, just
start throwing dumb shit atthem, and that'll do it because
they're, like, they areliterally pulling all the
bottles from the bar that areAmerican. I I ordered a Captain
and Diet, and they're like,well, if we still have any left
because once we run out ofanything American, we're taking
it off the menu. I'm like, what?Way to go. I mean, say it with

(06:54):
your money.

Good for them. I hope they reopen that Elsinore
Brewery, the one in strange brewwhere they were doing the mind
altering drugs in the beer.Those guys, the Mackenzie
brothers.

Could have ordered a little more gown.

Actually, the funny thing is they, on the
labels up there, I guess inFrench rum is spelled with an h
r h u m. So it's room. Well, youknow, the funny little
differences.

I love the French. They they're like
burning it down over there. Likewhen they get, when they want to
strike, they're just like all ofthem in the streets. Nobody
cares. They, they burned up aTesla dealership, set it on
fire.
Oh yeah. They're, they're notfucking around over there, man.
I don't know what you know, youthink of a French person like,

(07:50):
you know, whatever. I kind ofOnce

they get motivated, they get motivated.

Yeah. They're not they will guillotine people in a
second. Like, didn't they inventit?

The L's are silent.

Guillotine? Yeah. Guillotine. Four years of
French.

I say guillotine. I'm an American. It's a
guillotine wire. It's guillotinearound here, lady.

Around these parts, we call it a guillotine.

Portage. Definitely calling it a
guillotine in Portage.

That's a that's a Port Gay guillotine. Port Gay
get proud.

Shout out to miss McPherson, Portage Portage High
School.

That's who

I had. Did you?

I don't

think she likes You're not supposed to say real
names, but that's fine.

Oh, she's long retired.

I thought you were gonna say dead.

She might be dead.

Well, she will be now. So we we're good at when we
mention people they try

to In twenty

years, she didn't

own a TV. She did not own a TV.

Smart lady.

Which mhmm. No. But this was like thirty,
twenty, well, twenty years. Freeinternet.

What she do? Read books?

Yeah. Like a weirdo. Sorry. She only watched
one thing, the Olympics, whichalways like I don't okay. If you
don't watch a lot of TV, Iunderstand.
But if you don't watch any TV,it kind of like But the

she watched the Olympics though.

She liked watching the Olympics. So for
two weeks every four or sorry.Two weeks every two years, she
would watch TV.

I just have to

Where did she she rent the TV at the time? You
could right

there and and lead with teachers are very weird. So
in general.

We know some. We are some.

Because you have to deal with fucking assholes
every day.

Well, that could be one reason.

Yeah. I see. But you have

to be nuts to do this job. I've I think I've
realized.

I spent we've we've been out also very busy.
It's testing season. We are inthe education sphere.

God bless you.

And so it's test state testing time. And that's
been an interesting situation.

My were tested by Rusty the Railcat yesterday.

Yes. Jen is doing her testing at the Railcat's
stadium because we are virtual.

And that is not a joke. One of the teachers put on
the y, mascot outfit. And taughtin it?

No. Trying to amuse the testing Did

it stink?

I don't know. I stayed far away, but I I can
tell you that once he was out ofit, he was completely drenched
and his clothes were soaked.

Asking if the suit stink. Like, I would think
that, you know

I mean, if it didn't, it does now because he's

swept through clothes. The kid in that stupid
suit in the middle of, like,July and it's 90 degrees, 90%
humidity, this fucking kid hasto walk around in a bear
costume.

I'm just gonna say they're they're gonna have to
dry dry clean it again. And it'sa cat. It's right in the name.

Yeah. But he's not. Oh, I guess he technically
he is, but he looks like a bear.

He does look like a bear.

Yeah. It's not a good rendition of a cat. For
sure.

Just big and furry are also. Big and furry.
Yeah.

I mean, I hope he's not listening. Surely, you know
what mean? Have probably way thevirtual school is I don't know
any of my coworkers.

Yeah. And I was over in on Ridge Road at the
Excel Center. I don't know ifyou're familiar with that, but
it's

Lots of excelling.

Right next to the Goodwill outlet.

I know where you're talking about.

And it's interesting. It's a school for
adult learners.

Who messed up the first time around?

Yeah. Yeah. Or a place for homeless people to do
like business things, like setup their doctor's appointments
and

Oh, I thought you meant like

Like use the microwave or whatever. And like
then after they close, they goon to wherever wherever they're
gonna be. So that has been aninteresting thing. And that part
of Gary is such a weird it'skinda on the border of Griffith.

It's kind of another world.

Yeah. It's very it's very interesting over
there. Definitely different thanMiller here. So we've been busy
with that. And again, weapologize, but we're gonna try
and get a couple episodes out.
We're really gonna

dazzle you today.

Dazzle.

I do have a update, news update for our
listeners. I will say that Ionce challenged everyone one of
our listeners, if you could finda empty parking lot photo of
romantics, I would give you $20.I can officially call that
contest closed, andunfortunately, won by myself.

What lonely ass day that were you out there?

So it was Sunday, January 18 at 09:52AM according
to the time stamp on my phone.Sunday. It was a Sunday. I had a
the fuck did you know it was aSunday just from the date?

So here's the thing with romantics. They're
competing with a lot of thechurches in the area. They
really are. So a lot of thosepeople, super religious people,
they go there, get their dildos,get the butt plugs and jack off
then get a fucking like the onereview. Then, yeah, like on

(13:22):
Sunday morning,

go wash it all away on Sunday.

Yeah. They're going to go confess and that
priest is going to be like,alright, well, tell

me what sins you did at the romantics this week.
You smell like a sex booth inshame.

Mister James, what bad things did you do at
the romantics this week, sir?

So but to give some context as to why I caught
this photo, I was repairing afaucet on one of our sinks. And
of course, one sink is not thesame size as the other. So I had
to go buy some, attachments forthe lines in. And on the way to
the hardware store, saw one carand was very disappointed. And

(14:04):
on the way back, took a browseover and was like, oh, crap.
And immediately grabbed my phoneand caught a live photo. So we
can we'll probably post it toour Instagram just to have the
actual proof.

Was there a blizzard?

No. It was just just no. If you look at the
photo, was a minor amount ofsnow on the ground. It was cold
and cloudy, but I mean, therethere was no weird

No explainable reason.

No. Just it was the time of day. I guess I
caught I mean, I looked up andthere was no eclipse going on.
So I just Maybe

the cashier had a emergency of some sort.

No. I mean, I I just think it's probably not
it's probably not fun for justone person. Like, you gotta have
a lot of people in there for

If you're looking for that, there's always gotta
be the first person to show upto a party.

It is true. Even a circle check.

I mean, but also alright. Let's I have another
theory too. There's a lot oftruck parking right there. So, I
mean, people could walk. They'retrue.
But

also if you That

parking lot is never empty.

But I've also seen a lot of full tractor
trailers just parked in there,like

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just getting a quick jerk
in or whatever.

Zero fucks.

Because I think you could jerk in one of those
trucks. They're pretty roomy.

Oh, they've got that whole bed attachment. It's
like a minor bedroom.

But it's not as exciting that that doing it that
way.

It would be difficult to put a glory hole in
the back of a semi truck.

I bet people have done it. Those truck drivers are
free.

Just a little more more cramped.

Get a get a sheet of plywood like I'm already
envisioning it.

It's not even a, it's not even a wall. It's just
like a little, a

very pro

glory hole. Jenny pancake glory hole design.

Pro pro glory hole.

You could do, like, you know how they do those
home improvement videos?

A flower. Glory hole makeover.

Yeah. Like, do those quick, like, home videos.

That bus.

They'll do those quick little sped up videos
where they, like, build a wholedeck in, like, thirty seconds,
And yours is just, like, makinga glory hole.

It's just a sheet of plywood, and I paint a flower
on

it and

go all the through the center.

No. Even need to speed the whole video up. It's
just Jen with a drill for thirtyseconds. And this

one is a clown's mouth.

Hello kids. And

this is a gentleman from the eighteen
nineties.

It's a fun house

with that looks like Charlie Chaplin.

We call it the Old Glory Hole. You You see?

Yeah. That might take off. We gotta look into The

old Glory Hole. That's that takes me back.

We got a lot of federal workers losing their
jobs. So, you know, maybe we canstart making glory holes and
doing you know, they can make alittle money that way, maybe.

Tariff the glory hole.

Make America glory hole again.

Make America glorious again. Glorious.

Yeah. It's like yeah. We have to that is
definitely like, put that on ourlist. Side What list? What list?
The side gigs. Hustles.

I love to see this business card. Jerry
pancake, gory, wholeentrepreneur. Although you are,
you do make fuck sheds. So Yeah.

And you That's an attachment to

fuck shit.

I'm thinking renting is the way to go with a
glory hole.

We we have a lease for

you. Because you don't sometimes you don't want
some of your people coming overto your house and being like, oh
god. He put that glory holeright in the front yard.

Can I make one suggestion?

Like your parents come over, you wanna like hide
it or put it in the bank.

Very high security deposit.

Oh. We can get some like decorative dividers for
privacy?

I I don't know.

It sounds like a fuck shed now.

Those When our when our fake school business
implodes, which

Well, maybe we can get a PPP loan for the glory
home business.

A PP how about just a PP loan? PP loan.

Or a PP. Yeah. They're only doing the PP now.

They need

to because there's no pandemic anymore.

If there's any PP loaners out there listening.

How long are my PP?

There's a lot of them in the world right now.

Yeah. I can think of a few.

Pee pee loners? Yep. Hate to see the interest
rate.
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Welcome back to the Miller Morning Madhouse. We
are gonna do a segment. We'veall been traveling recently.
Right?

We have.

So we're gonna start doing a segment here,
called everything sucks now.

Anyone who knows Jerry, it's a plentiful amount
of things.

Man, everything does suck. There's only, like,
four things I like doinganymore.

We're gonna we're gonna make it a separate
podcast, but but we don't havethe capacity to

sell space. No. We thought about that and, for
just a minute or two, but we'regonna incorporate it here into
the madhouse. Everything sucksnow. We're this is kinda like a
almost a history historic kindof The

historians will look back on Miller Moring
madhouse.

Yeah. Now that I'm in my fifties, I've there
was a time when everything waspretty awesome. Okay.

Was it the eighties, Jerry?

It was the eighties. But our first first
segment of this, because all ofus have been traveling, is the
plane travel sucks. I can agree.Now did you go on some Canadian

(22:06):
airline or just a regular?

So interesting. We flew Air Canada the way out
there, which is part of theUnited family. But the Air
Canada flight out seemed to havemore amenities than the United
flight on the way back.

It always does.

That makes a lot of sense to me. I remember when
we traveled to, Mexico, was it?

Oh, that was amazing.

I don't know if you've ever flown Aeromexico,
but I have not. Bro. I'm gonnastart saying that a lot now,
bro.

Talk talk about breakfast.

Yeah. They gave us a hot breakfast.

It was good.

And it was delicious.

The stewardesses look like Stewart. They're all
dressed up in, like, fulllipstick. They fed us.

I don't condone that, by the way. But it was
they were beautiful and and verynice.

Oh, yeah. Nice to

look at. That just reminded me of our next
episode of everything sucksbecause I just thought of
something.

Perfect. But, yeah, like super way more room
on that on that Aeromexicoplane. So it seems like the
foreign

markets, I think, have a much better idea of,
please do not just make this abus in the air.

I would gladly pay more Give

us some Canadian amenities that you experienced,
Scramble. Just an

extra treat. There was so they did two rounds
of the

Oh, two pass throughs?

Yeah. Well, it was a four oh, not a four hour
fight, but I think three and ahalf because it was here to
Vancouver.

Oh, okay. That's pretty. So they

did one round of the, you know, the snacks and
the drink, and then they didanother one. It was the first
flight that I had been on since,you know, remember back in like
the '9 no. No. Not that long.I'm just kidding.
But back in the nineties whenthey started saying like, look
at how much technology we'rethrowing in a plane, and they
always used to show the videoscreens. It was the first legit

(24:10):
flight I was on where it had thevideo screen and like it didn't
fucking suck ass. Like, Itactually worked. It worked. It
worked fantastic.

It it made your travel experience better Yes.
Versus the opposite.

Oh, they gave you free headphones.

They they did offer free headphones, but I had
my own. The only thing that Idid not like is it offered
Bluetooth, but the Bluetoothsucked ass. But I'm like, I came
prepared. Radio Shack scrambleover here had his own wired
headphones he could use too.Well,

I mean, you don't wanna I it's my opinion. You
don't wanna really fuck aroundwith radio signals on today's
planes. Just, know, especiallythe Bluetooth. Bluetooth sucks,
but that's a whole othereverything sucks

funny about you asked about the big difference.
So we flew out of O'Hare.Everybody on Air Canada was
French or French Canadian. AndI'm like, did you literally
bring these people down fromCanada to work for the airline?
But I mean, I'm talking theticket counter person, the
baggage person.
Oh, wow. Everyone was French orI'm sorry. French Canadian. So

(25:15):
maybe Quebec, it was funny. Iwas like, none of you are
American.
I didn't say this out loud, Ilooked at miss Graham, I'm like,
everyone on this crew isCanadian.

So do they I mean, being that a flight attendant is
my dream occupation and has

been since I was glad for punishment. You're a
teacher and then you wanna be aflight attendant? Are you trying
to hit, like, every bastardcategory there is?

So you get stationed somewhere and that's
your that's your term.

Your whole Yeah. Your home base.

Yeah. You have and you have to put some time in at
a place that is not your homesometimes. So I'm but but you're
even saying the ticket peopleand the

Everyone. Everyone I dealt with from the
moment we At O'Hare? At O'Hare.It was weird. Like, from the
moment we walked up to theticket gate to weigh our bags,
check-in to the flight counterThis is a time on the plane was
all French Canadian.
This is

a good time to ask our listeners if they have any
knowledge of this. Call innumber

Call in to 219. 1 9?

Yeah.

420-8200. I don't think that's the number. Will I
will have to throw that inthere.

Never mind.

No one call in.

My brain is not

Scrambled.

It's a little scrambled today. But like so
your experience was soundsfantastic, at least going there.

Well, it was a long day because it was a full
day of travel. Like, our flightwasn't until one, and it was a
three and a half hour flight andthen a two hour shuttle from the
airport to the ski resort. So itwas a full all day, and we got
in late. So it wasn't that bad,but had we left earlier in the
day, it would have been a lotbetter.

Was it a full flight? Because I'm getting to
that.

Yeah. I've never been on a flight once. Sorry.
I've been on one flight where ithasn't been completely full. And
that flight I was on, there wasfive people on and it wasn't
around 09:11.
But every flight I've ever beenon except that one has been jam
packed full of assholes.

Oh, man. Flying after 09:11 must have been like
paradise. Like, you're just likethree people on the plane and
you're like, hey. Yeah. We gotthis whole fucking plane.
You wanna smoke?

Early pandemic. Early pandemic.

We went skiing to another

round trip

to to another place and it was a giant plane.
It was like, not a seven eightyseven, but one of the bigger
Boeing planes. And I'm like,well, we gotta get a safety row
so I could get them more legroom. We got on, four people
passed us checking or getting onthe plane. They shut the door
and I looked around like, whatbizarre world are we in?

(28:06):
It was awesome.

Yeah. But they have I think the I I don't know.
I watched some stupiddocumentary on they have, you
know, this algorithm thatfigures out how to sell every
single seat on every singleflight and oversell some. Yeah.
So we our experience, we flewSouthwest and God love them.

(28:31):
God love Southwest, but they arepacked every flight. Cattle call
airline. And you can't pick yourseat. You could pay $1,000,000
and you nope. You're getting inthat stupid line with the

(28:52):
numbers, and no one's looking atwhat number they have.

I actually got very shitty with some people on
a Southwest airline once. Notthe employees, but, like, other
people.

Where they lined up in the wrong place and then
some of the gate people check,but some of them don't care.

No. It wasn't even that. So you're not
supposed to reserve or likeblock seats from people sitting
down, but I was on hour thirtyof being awake after a couple
people in my party ended up inthe hospital.

Oh, jeez.

Yeah. It was it was fun. And, there was this
group of women who were comingback from a girl's trip, and
they asked, like, hey. Is thereany chance you might be able to
help us save some seats? I'mlike, I am your guy right now.
And these people walked by,like, are those seats seeking?
I'm like, yes. They are. They'relike, well, I thought you
weren't supposed to. I'm like,they're taken.
I'm like, move along. These arenot the droids you're looting
for. Move along. This woman,what turns around, she's like,

(29:44):
wow. You were taking thisrequest very serious.
I'm like, it's been a long day,ma'am.

I'm ready to fight. Baby, bro.

Here's a little pro tip when you're traveling,
because this is what hadhappened to Jen Pancake and
myself. My sister, Day DayPancake, has two small children,
my niece, my beautiful niece,and my handsome nephew. And they

(30:19):
didn't have to reserve anything.All they had to do was have
those kids.

Because no one wanted to hear them.

No. No. No. They're watching their iPads.

Automatic speaker.

Full fucking volume. Like no headphones. And
no one is go like, they werealmost, it was surprising that
anyone was even sitting in anyof the rows that were in front
or behind them, in fact. And sowe got seats saved, by them. So
we were able to even though weboarded the plane almost, like,

(30:55):
dead last.
That was

Oh, we never board dead last because or here's a
here's a thing. Here's a starkdifference between me and

Mister Pancake.

Mister Pancake. I prefer to be the last one on the
plane. I do not like lines orwaiting in lines or anything to
do with lines.

One day at the beach, we should just make a
fake line out of people. Yeah.We make

fake lines all the time. I don't know if you're
aware, but people love lines.

They love The security, the TSA.

The performing lines. They love lines. Here's
the thing though.

You know what?

You just wait until everyone gets on the plane,
there then you just get right onand

you don't

have put in a line.

Next time you're somewhere public, just have you
and a couple people make a line,people will just automatically
start going behind you thinkingthat They

will get behind you. It it happens in cars too.
It doesn't even matter. Peoplelove lines.

So what is your most and I don't wanna say
terrible.

I know a lot of people that love lines too.

Is your most stressful Stressful. Alright.

Alright. Calm down, scramper, pancake.

What is your most stressful moment in the entire
port part of air flight travel?I can tell you mine.

It's I can tell I can tell you pancakes. So when
when we're getting ready for itto be our turn to go stand by
the dumb number, And I say, oh,you know what? I'll be right
back.

Oh, yeah. She's gonna go to the bathroom, or I'm
gonna go get a coffee. And thenI'm like, can you get back here?
What the fuck?

He loses his marbles every

She can see it in my face too because I know she
she does it every time.

I do it every Just

to fuck with you now?

Yeah. Oh,

yeah. No. Yes. No. Come on.

She likes doing it. I

can I don't like

doing She's, like, resisting? She doesn't
wanna be in the line. I followthe rules. I get in the line
with whatever

This is his

dumb number.

This is his dumb excuse that he that he that he
wants to be in the line, becausehe likes to follow rules. I
don't think any that I

don't think Jerry loves order.

Separate issues. The line and then getting on
last are two separate things.

Just think if you were only waiting in that line
to crash to your death.

So well, that's that's the funny thing. So

Like, imagine that. Imagine how sad that is.
You're like, oh, I waited allthis time in this line, and
we're just gonna die. So Somaybe you have the right idea
because if you miss the planeand it crashes

I've not. You're alive. I don't believe I've ever
missed

a flight. I think that's how it works.

I've never missed I've never missed a flight on my
own. Like of my own cause.

My other pancake former wife did miss a couple
planes, two or three.

In a row?

Not in a row. She's not someone else that we
know. But, yeah, the one timeshe had it, she missed her
flight, she had to spend thenight in the airport.

Ugh. Alright. Pancake, do you have a stressful
moment?

I thought we just

Well, I mean, that was that would be my

Your prediction? My prediction.

So I don't like security, but I will tell you a
very funny story about it. Oh mygosh. Is So my this is a couple
couple years ago when we weregoing to Arizona. Pre or post
09:11.

You shouldn't have

Post 09:11. This is just a couple Oh,

okay.

It was right after, like, the pandemic and
everything.

It was You should have held off talking about when
it was until after the storybecause it's it's funnier to
think that you were young anddumb.

Oh, no. This was very recently, like two years
ago.

Old and dumb. Who cares?

So 20 let's say twenty twenty three. So we're
going on this trip for mybrother. He's stressed out. So
we're kind of having like aguy's trip going on like a golf
trip to Arizona. We had all thisstaying in this beautiful home
and, you know, I decided I'mgoing to bring my golf clubs.
Right? Like, you know, we're weplanned on golfing, like, three

(35:03):
or four times. So I'm like

It's gonna be cheaper to just bring.

Yeah. And Southwest does not charge you.

Really?

If that's your only checked bag. Right?

I'm sorry. What? Just thinking of like, this is
what just the image of this ismy checked bag. Don't mind don't
mind the driver.

No. They like I

get I get what you're

You have to they have to be in a, like, a special
bag.

But you could check it, but I'm just thinking.
What are you bringing to wear?Oh, my 15 clubs and a T shirt.

So, yeah, I had a backpack that I brought on the
plane.

I get where you're

going. And so we're going my brother and I
are, like, we're very excitedand we get in the security line.
I got my golf clubs and we justwent straight to try to get
through security. And theyactually put my golf clubs on

(35:59):
the

On the on

the conveyor belt.

How would they even

fit on the wall? Laughing. They were all
laughing, by the way. And wejust had no idea. Wait.
Like, we just weren't thinkingabout it?

Like, through sick like, it was your carry on.
Yeah.

Yeah. Like that.

I thought that maybe they would take it.

Right.

They he tried to put in a special place.

Like, Like, was I

put it through the X-ray. Put the guy

through the X-ray machine?

Oh, he put it through there. Come on. And he
said Sir And they were alllaughing at us. And everybody in
line must have been like, whatthe fuck? Idiots.
These fucking two idiots. Andthe guy put it through, and he's
like, you know, this can't be afucking carry on, the TSA guy.

(36:50):
And then my brother and I justlooked at each other, and then
we're like, oh, fuck. And he'slike, by the way, you have three
full beers in there. Like, sawhe's, like, in the X-ray, and
all those guys are fuckinglaughing.
And he's like, you might wannatake those out because they will

(37:11):
likely explode. And sure enough,I was so embarrassed that when I
checked it, I did not take thebeers out.

Oh, good. They exploded.

One of them did explode, and my bag was full of
beer. I ruined my brother inlaw's golf bag because you put
him in this special travel bag.Oh. Because I saw that he had a
new one when we were justtraveling now. I'm like, what
happened to the old one?
He's like, well, it smelled likebeer.

Just when I think he's very smart, then I hear the
and then, you know, what like,what I just heard this story for
the first time when we were inArizona. And I assumed it was
when he was like, maybe, I don'tknow, in his twenties

or something. Like, ago. Never flew on a plane
before.

Or whatever, but nope. It was just the other day.

Just in 2023.

WSBR's Cedar Beach Radio, the best station
between Rush and Ridley.

Barack Obama (38:10):
Miller Beach, this is your president. When I'm
hanging out at Flamingos, Ilight a camel and put on the
Miller morning madhouse withJerry Pancake and Josh Scramble.

Alright, folks. That's it for today's episode of
the Miller morning madhouse. Bigthanks to our sponsors, So Cool
Shirts, where bad decisionsbecome great fashion. Check them
out for your next questionable Tshirt. And don't forget all in
just trivia with Josh scramblehosted at the Marshall j Gardner

(38:40):
Center.
It's the only trivia night wherethe questions are just as
unpredictable as the answers.Join us if you dare.
And a shout out to the Miller Community Theater
also at the Marshall j Gardner Center, where
the local stars shine bright.Big thanks to the MBACD for
hosting these awesome events andmaking Miller Beach the place to

(39:04):
be.
Thanks for hanging out with us, Miller
Beach. We will be back nextSunday, hopefully, with
a brand new episode. That is if we are not
too hungover. No promises. Butstay cool, stay crazy, and keep
supporting the madhouse. Catchyou next time.

All you guys do is just sit up there and talk
about how fucking cool you are.

Bam's a bam. What's a bam? Well, you wouldn't
even know. She
laughed and said, I know just where to begin. She
said, I know you like breakfastfood. I'm about to blow your
mind. I have a sandwich that wasmade for your kind. It's the

(40:02):
Moons Over My Hemi.
It's got cheese and egg. Eat iton sourdough as you check out my
leg. It's Moons It's the moon'sDo you understand the words that

(41:28):
come

out of my mouth?

You speak it in English?

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