July 20, 2025 • 42 mins
🎙️ Episode Title: Born on the 3rd of July
👥 Hosts: Jerry Pancake, Josh Scramble, Elizabeth Benedict
🎧 Presented by: SoCoolShirts.com & The Miller Beach University of Advanced Consumption
💥 In this red, white, and totally unhinged episode, the gang recaps a wild stretch of summer madness in Miller Beach. First up, a fight breaks out at The Flamingo just before the 4th — punches, flip-flops, and bad decisions flying through the air like bottle rockets.
☀️ Then we check in on the heatwave that’s got everybody spicier than gas station salsa, and reflect on the emotional toll of 92 degrees, warm beer, and shirtless overconfidence.
🎆 And finally, it’s our 4th of July wrap-up — Miller-style. One rookie drinker nearly goes down for the count, but is heroically saved by a bikini-clad mom-squad trained by sheer instinct and poolside Pinot Grigio. If you're new to Miller, know this: our 4th is not for beginners. It’s T-ball meets MLB fastballs, and the only rule is don't pass out in the sand.
🧢 Sponsored by SoCoolShirts.com — where your hangover can be stylish — and the prestigious Miller Beach University of Advanced Consumption — educating the next generation of questionable decisions since last Thursday.
🔊 Tune in and remember: in Miller, the fireworks don’t stop just because the sky clears.
- (00:50) - Welcome to the Madhouse
- (02:10) - Return of Elizabeth
- (14:06) - The 4th of July Recap
- (16:49) - Festivities Before the 4th
- (28:26) - The IV Incident
- (40:50) - Conclusion and Thanks
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
All you guys do is just sit up there
Speaker 2 (00:05):
and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
WSBR Super Beach Radio, the best station Pancake
and the scramble. Audiobreakfast with your favorite
(00:34):
guys.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Hey. Hey. Pancake here with another Sun Fried
episode of the Miller morningmadhouse. Today, I am joined by
Josh Scramble and ElizabethBenedict. This week, we're gonna
break down a little fight thatpopped off just before the
fourth.
Things got a little wild, andsomeone's sandal is still up in
the ceiling fan. Then we'regonna dive into the fourth of
(01:07):
July. Do a little recap there.Fireworks, Barefoot Chaos, and
one rookie who almost didn'tmake it. Here's a pro tip.
The fourth and Miller is not forfirst timers. It's not for first
time drinkers. It's like puttinga t ball kid up against Major
League heat. Thankfully, ourbikini clad mom squad MVPs were
(01:29):
on duty and saved the day andthe dude. So grab something cold
and enjoy the show.
We are sponsored today bysocoolshirts.com where the
shirts are questionable and so Idon't know. Anyway, go to
showsocoolshirts.com and get ashirt. It helps the show. So
(02:11):
welcome back. We're back.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
We're back.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
To the Miller Morning Madhouse. My name is Jerry
Pancake,
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Joshua David Scrembo,
Speaker 6 (02:22):
and Elizabeth Benedict.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Alright. We have Elizabeth back. Been a while.
It's been a while. Where haveyou been?
Speaker 6 (02:30):
I'm happy to be back. Michigan for a very long time,
but I'm happy to be back.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Alright. Michigan. Where do you go in Michigan?
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Frankfurt.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I have been there with you guys. I have not.
Speaker 6 (02:48):
Know. I'm so yeah. We haven't
Speaker 5 (02:50):
been there period. Not I'm not, like, calling you
out or anything. I'm just I'venever been there.
Speaker 6 (02:56):
You're fine if you were. No. We I've been there for
I think I've spent at least amonth there this whole summer.
We're going back with the kidsfor, like, a whole week. Yeah.
Nice. But yeah. But I missed allof fourth of July.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Oh. I don't know if you missed it.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Mean, are you
Speaker 6 (03:18):
Fourth of July here.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Were you did you feel like, did you have FOMO?
Speaker 6 (03:24):
Oh, I was definitely curious about what was you know?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
It was hot. I could tell you.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Hot. It was fuck.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Like, we didn't even go down for half the day. Like,
we had we had the it was thelongest golf cart kid bike car
fourth of July parade inhistory. Lasted like
Speaker 6 (03:42):
Fifty five.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Eight minutes, which is like Twelve. It was twelve
minutes.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Twelve? Wow. Well, you know, Bob goes very slow,
and he almost hit that rockagain. Yeah. Like, very close.
Speaker 6 (03:54):
I remember that.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Well, so afterwards, I was returning people to their
homes and I saw Jerry at afriend's house, and they offered
me Mimosa, and I'm like, whynot? And as we were there, Bob
almost hit the rock again.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Like, he was Within inch or inch? Inches, maybe? I
don't know. Yeah. It was veryclose.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Of us, so we couldn't tell And
Speaker 4 (04:17):
he was just like not looking again, and waving at
people.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
There was no one in the street. Thank God.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Yeah. There was no kids behind him on bikes.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
Was that's that's what I'm remembering. Right?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
And Derek trying to start a fight with him. What?
Speaker 6 (04:30):
And but then he he did handle it well once he
calmed down, I think. Right? Itwas
Speaker 4 (04:35):
I mean, it he reversed really fast and almost
hit the kids on the bikes, andthen Derek got really mad. Our
friend Derek What? What's hislast name? Derek what's it? D
Speaker 5 (04:49):
Doily? Derek Doily? No.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
What's a breakfast what's a d word? A breakfast d
word?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Devil Donuts.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
Donut. Derek Donut. That makes him sound fat,
though. Donuts are DerekDoughnuts.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Derek Doughnut hole?
Speaker 6 (05:09):
What about deviled eggs?
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Not
Speaker 4 (05:11):
really breakfast, but hey, it's a it's a fourth
Speaker 5 (05:15):
of
Speaker 4 (05:15):
July themed thing. They probably had deviled eggs
somewhere, not anywhere I went,unfortunately.
Speaker 6 (05:22):
Bet someone's able to give us a really good one right
now that we can't think of.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
I'm sure there's why can we not think of a d
breakfast?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Call us (219) 200-4280 and give us a name for
Derek. Is breakfast related.Derek Tyson also, if you really
wanna Oh, yeah. He did punchsomeone.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Rightfully so, though. They they definitely
earned it.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Did we go over that?
Speaker 4 (05:49):
That guy punched a girl.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
He did
Speaker 6 (05:51):
that too.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Oh, yeah. So that was just before July 4, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Yeah, it was. It was. So it's been very
Speaker 6 (05:58):
don't know that guy.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
No. No. That's good. It's been very hot here and
Speaker 6 (06:03):
Like warm?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
When it gets hot yeah. Like warm and hot. And
like when it gets hot, peoplewill get cranky and
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Isn't it proven like the crime rate goes up for every
degree over like 90
Speaker 6 (06:13):
Florida.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
Well, Chicago. Like, I remember in the mid nineties,
they used to say, like, forevery degree over 90 it gets,
like, the crime rate jumps twopoints or something.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That's crazy. I believe you.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I mean, I don't remember the exact statistics,
but do you remember, like, theyhad that dangerous in the mid
nineties that was like 98degrees for a week straight, and
it killed a bunch of people?Yeah. The crime rate also, like,
went off the chart that weekbecause people were just, like,
pent up because they couldn'tcool down pretty much. Like,
they didn't know outlet, so theyjust like
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah. So it's like that movie, The Son of Sam,
which was like New York City. Iforgot about was a heat wave,
and like no one had fucking airconditioning, and like, then
that guy was murdering a bunchof people. Anyway. Yeah.
So when things get hot, like,the tempers start to flare, and
apparently, this was, I don'tknow, maybe a couple weeks
(07:03):
before the that long. Maybe aweek week the weekend before the
fourth. Things were gettingcrazy.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
When it happened? Because I remember seeing
Speaker 5 (07:13):
All the police. Fix police
Speaker 6 (07:14):
cars, and they were
Speaker 4 (07:15):
just Which is the biggest police response in the
history of Gary in Indiana.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
That's why I was so concerned. Yeah. I was like
like, something must have beenon fire.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Domestic not domestics. We shoot. This was a
bar dispute, so that gets moreattention than anything. Like,
if you break into people's cars,the
Speaker 4 (07:31):
or even shoot two people and murder one of them,
you're not gonna get six copsthere.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
That doesn't matter, but, you know, God forbid, we'd
not bring up this bar fight.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Don't soil the flamingo, sir. We will send all
of our we'll send a tank if yousoil the flamingo.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
Do you think, like, Nick has a bat phone in the back
of the flamingo?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
He does. He has one of those red phones like that,
but it's red, and it just goesstraight to the mayor.
Speaker 6 (07:56):
Yeah. Who do know
Speaker 5 (07:57):
who called
Speaker 6 (07:57):
the police when that happened?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
I don't know. Probably someone in the bar
since it's all, you know, Godlove everybody that works there,
but they're all women. So, like,apparently, what had happened
What? Was that one of ourfriendly neighborhood bartenders
there threw ranch dressing on acustomer because he was being an
(08:23):
idiot and drunk. And so I heardthis part.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
Nor did I.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Yeah. There was some ranch. I think it was ranch. It
might have been like HiddenValley. It might have been
French or whatever.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
Because that stains.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
And so the guy got really mad and then started
throwing stuff around in there,and then he hit one of our
neighbors, who a fella, and thatthat particular fella didn't
really respond. He got hitpretty good and just
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Just took it.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Just took it, I guess.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
That's how it should go.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
And then the guy went outside and he was Alright.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
That's understandable. I I deserve
that.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Rummaging through the like, throwing all the outside
furniture, you know, on thatside part.
Speaker 6 (09:14):
Mhmm. Temper tantrum.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yeah. Just throwing everything, throwing umbrellas,
whatever. Jeez. I didn't hearhim. And then one of the Miller
all stars, Ashley, he hit her inthe face, like, just straight in
the face, because she's tryingto calm him down.
Then our Derek Donuts
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Is she okay? Like, did she
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Laid him out with one punch, and then apparently,
neighbor just really laid intohim once he was, like, on the
ground.
Speaker 6 (09:46):
I'm so happy that Derek did that.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Derek to the rescue.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
I mean, yeah, that was very classy, and we commend
you, and you'll be getting aaward from the so cool or the
Miller Morning Man House.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
You know?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Sorry. So cool podcast, Miller Morning Man
House.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
Like that. I don't I I always think, what would I do
in that situation? And I
Speaker 5 (10:06):
I know you, and I think you just freeze up.
Speaker 6 (10:08):
I just completely freeze up.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
No offense. This is No.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
I just No. I I'm glad that that was my answer though
because
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Yeah. Like, I could just imagine you just look a
shock just like
Speaker 6 (10:18):
Well, I need like a lot of time to process
something.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
So, like, I would be good for one punch, but then I
would be running out of therebecause, like, I would be
worried. Always have this thingwhere like, I get in a fight,
and then it's like one guy, andI think I can like do pretty
well against one guy, but thenlike
Speaker 6 (10:37):
The friends.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
The friends all end up joining in, and like the one
time
Speaker 5 (10:41):
You're like that guy in the dazed and confused when
he's like, all I need to do isget one good punch and then get
the shit kicked out.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah. And I just got the shit kicked out of me like
every time where it's like, oh,man, I'm gonna have to go back
and like seek revenge laterbecause these guys really fucked
me up. So anyway Yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:58):
His reaction was just, I think, really
impressive.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
But what I heard also is the reason there were so many
cops is someone claimed that hehad a gun, and that's what
brought out all the cops.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
So what happened is the guy got beat up pretty bad,
and he left, but then he cameback with friends, and
supposedly, they were armed, andthat's when the but like so this
just
Speaker 5 (11:22):
how looking?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Yeah. They so Derek slipped out when he saw them
come back into the bar becausehe's like, they're probably
looking for me.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
That's smart.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
And they were like
Speaker 6 (11:32):
You know, I can knock
Speaker 4 (11:33):
on Our friend got fucking jumped in here by white
guys and we're looking for him.Yeah. So that was, you know, a
big hullabaloo, and supposedly,they arrested someone. I don't
believe that at all. I but
Speaker 5 (11:49):
I'm just looking like, can you imagine the
conversation this guy, like,goes up to his friends? Hey,
man. I need you to come help meout. What happened? So I hit
this woman in the face, and thenI got my ass kicked.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
I'm sure he did not mention this.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
No. But I mean
Speaker 6 (12:02):
What? What the
Speaker 4 (12:05):
So and also, like, it just shows you so we've been
talking about this for a bit,Jen, Pancake, and I, that
there's a wide spectrum ofalcoholism here. Like, it's just
everyone's on it on the spectrumof alcoholism. But some people
are, you know, more No. Spectrumy. I mean, they're other people.
(12:27):
They're small
Speaker 5 (12:28):
stars for sure.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
And so the reaction of some of the people that are
heavy on this on this spectrumto the soul because I would have
left. Like, if I was in theredrinking and all this shit
happened, I would have beenlike, I'm getting the fuck out
of this place. Fuck. I'mprobably not gonna come back for
a while.
Speaker 6 (12:45):
Yeah. I don't wanna get, like,
Speaker 5 (12:46):
a sign punch bag. These things kinda start
happening. I give a look like,alright, finish the cocktails
because we're leaving in
Speaker 4 (12:51):
sixty We're getting the fuck out of here. I'll call
and I'll pay
Speaker 6 (12:55):
the tab tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah. I'll come back and pay tomorrow. Yeah. But
Speaker 6 (12:59):
Well, let's go across
Speaker 4 (13:00):
the street. Lot of our friends and neighbors are on
the spectrum of they're gonnadrink through this, and it's
fine. And so, like, we get allthese texts like, there's six
cops. Oh my god. Ashley got hitin the face.
All this stuff is happening.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Then Grateful for
Speaker 4 (13:17):
the And then, like Give
Speaker 5 (13:18):
me a refill.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Two hours later, they're like, oh, everything's
fine. Nothing. No big deal. I'mlike, what the fuck? Well, like,
delusional
Speaker 6 (13:26):
worried about.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Yeah. Like, how delusional are you? And then
everyone shut up and wouldn'ttalk about it for, like, two
days.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
Bad for the information.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Yeah. Well, we had to like we had to go to several
sources because people likedon't wanna like I don't know. I
don't know what the or it's justlike, oh, we were drunk and I
don't even remember. Maybemaybe, you know, the guy had
ranch dressing thrown on him andthat was why he was mad. But I I
(13:56):
don't care.
Like, it's it's these thishappens with all sorts of
serious situations around herelately that I can like, off the
top of my head.
Speaker 5 (14:07):
It's downplayed severely.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Yeah. So let's get into the fourth of July.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
Downplayed severely. Wait. I just have a quick
question on the ranch. Do youknow why the ranch was thrown?
I'm guessing she
Speaker 5 (14:17):
was carrying it, and it just happened to be
convenient to throw at him. Thatwould be my guess.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
No. I think it was something where the guy was,
like, belligerent about askingfor more ranch.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
He's desperate. Who? Who's what?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Oh, Jordan. Hi, Jordan.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Hey, Jordan.
Speaker 6 (14:36):
That makes you so happy.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Yeah. Like, he probably was being a drunk idiot
and was like, there's not enoughfucking ranch.
Speaker 6 (14:45):
Thought it was.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
And she probably was like, here's your fucking ranch,
you fucking asshole. Good forher.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
That's how you survive.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
WSBR Super Mutual Radio, the best station between
Rush and Ridley. We love playingmusic, but right now, we have to
pay some bills.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Are you tired of overpriced colleges that teach
you how to think, but not how todrink? Welcome to Miller Beach
University of AdvancedConsumption, where the only
thing higher than our GPA isyour bar tab.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Professor Pancake here. I have a PhD in PBR, and I
teach intro to booze logic onezero one every Friday. Syllabus,
who needs one? Just show up witha cooler.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
And I'm professor Elizabeth Benedict. In my class,
we cover essential life skills,like how to talk your way into
VIP with expired wristbands andhow to hide a fireball in a
beach chair.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
At MBUAC, our student body is 100% hydrated with
domestic light beer. We offeradvanced degrees in shot math,
hangover philosophy, and oursignature capstone course, You
Up? Text in the Art of Regret.Apply now and receive a free
koozie and honorary doctorate inbad decisions. Miller Beach
(16:31):
University of AdvancedConsumption, where the sand is
hot, the drinks are cold, andthe only thing we take seriously
is last call.
Classes start every weekend.Enrollment is rolling like your
cooler down the beach. Extracredit if you don't puke in your
Uber.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
So, yeah, the fourth comes around.
Speaker 6 (16:53):
Start from the beginning.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
So at The parade was the beginning.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Yeah. At 9AM, is it?
Speaker 6 (16:59):
Were there any festivities, like, before the
fourth? Wait. The fourth was aThursday?
Speaker 5 (17:03):
Thursday. So, yeah. No. So there was Wednesday at
the Bird, which I did not go to,because I'm like, if we're gonna
be partying all weekend, I donot need to be partying a fifth
day for
Speaker 6 (17:12):
That was that heat wave too.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
Yeah. It was hot too, so I did not go to the music.
Speaker 6 (17:17):
You're trying to remember?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Was it Jerry Clemens?
Speaker 5 (17:19):
I think it might have been.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
I probably went, but I didn't stay long because I was
nervous about getting shot orpunched in the face.
Speaker 6 (17:29):
Or ranch thrown on you.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Yeah. Or get ranched. But I I took it easy, I think,
Wednesday or may yeah. Mean,just my normal spectrum of
alcoholism. And then it startedwith the parade, which is way
too early, by the way.
I'm just gonna put that out
Speaker 5 (17:50):
there. Nine. Nine. Although, with as hot as it was,
it was probably a good thingthat it wasn't.
Speaker 6 (17:56):
Yeah. Nine's very early.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
On a holiday? On a holiday, yeah. So, yeah,
Speaker 5 (18:01):
we went, we watched the parade for all twelve
minutes. I returned some peoplewith my golf cart, and then we
went to a brunch at a friend'sof ours, which was very nice. It
was a good with as warm as itwas, although it was unusually
cool that morning, like, got alot of cloud cover, so it wasn't
severely hot. So we chilledthere at the brunch, and about
03:00, we wandered down to thebeach just in time for it to get
(18:23):
super hot out. Like, all theclouds disembarked, and it was
just like, here's your sun.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Is 03:00 late?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
For us, usually. Yeah. On the fourth, I think,
like, people are
Speaker 5 (18:34):
The beach was already somewhat full.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Because typically, people like, set up early.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
It was people were setting, and I didn't care. I'm
like, if I go down there and Ican't find a spot, I will figure
out something.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Right. Which is odd for
Speaker 5 (18:46):
me, because usually I'm down there like,
Speaker 4 (18:48):
claiming real estate like some old West prospector.
But yeah, it was not as so itkinda maybe it rained a tiny
bit. Or it looked like it wasgonna possibly rain. So I think
that had a impact on the amountof people, because there was
(19:08):
definitely less people on thebeach this fourth
Speaker 5 (19:11):
than looked like it was going to rain, but it never
hit. It was cloudy, thready.
Speaker 6 (19:16):
Tough the whole day?
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Till about it was cloudy ish from
Speaker 4 (19:20):
And then it just got fucking blazing hot.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Yeah. As soon as the clouds partied at, like, four,
everyone was in the waterbecause it was just like, damn,
it's hot out here. Like, it was90 plus. So it's it's super hot,
and it's like 04:30, 05:00.Dinner's Actually, it's later
than that.
Probably six because we went Iwent and fed the cats. We ate
(19:43):
something real quick and thencame back because we knew we
were gonna be there late. So weget back, and no names will be
mentioned. You know what youdid. So one of our friends,
recently out of college, brought
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Young. Young. Just of drinking age.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
Just of yes.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Just So I know.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Well, who it is. He brought his friend, and his
friend got a little shootityschnooted. So he had the He did?
His friend did. So the theperson we don't know came to the
beach and was very stumblybumbly.
(20:22):
Like, he was in the water andwas doing, you know, the wobbly
legs and the He's a real pastyfella. Yeah. He pro I'm amazed
Speaker 6 (20:29):
He's 21, though.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Yes. They they were legal, but they didn't know how
to drink. Guy's They're new.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Tequila and vodka at like started at ten in the
morning.
Speaker 5 (20:39):
Mix first of all, mixing tequila and vodka is a
bad idea to begin with,regardless of what the
temperature is. But on a 95degree day on the beach yeah.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
So There is something not to derail this, but there is
something to be said aboutpeople that know how to drink on
the beach or in the summertimeor whatever.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
It's a marathon.
Speaker 6 (21:00):
It's gift, I think. It's a gift. Like, when you when
I would bring up people toMichigan, and you would know if
they weren't they never went toa lake house. Like, to be able
to pace yourself
Speaker 4 (21:13):
It's kinda like the dark arts.
Speaker 6 (21:14):
Sun. It is a dark art. That's a good I
Speaker 4 (21:17):
like that. Yeah. Like, if you're gonna draft
somebody that's gonna drink onthe beach, who's your number one
pick?
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Oh, so like From here. The best drinker on the
beach.
Speaker 6 (21:29):
Because it isn't art. I really do think so.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
So are we talking like someone we've never seen
fucked up on the beach? Becausewe've all had those days where
we've all had too much.
Speaker 6 (21:36):
Or they can still be fucked up, but but not destruct
destructive.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Yeah. Like, that takes out a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
You know what
Speaker 6 (21:43):
I mean? Like oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
God. Who would I draft if I was, like, my number
one beach drinker? Who would Itake
Speaker 6 (21:52):
first over? Good.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Alright. We're gonna get into that. Yeah. I think I
think she's gotta be in theYeah. Top.
She's gotta be in the top.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
Because I've never seen her ever.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Now that I think about
Speaker 5 (22:07):
it, I've never
Speaker 4 (22:07):
but I've I haven't seen her drunk at the beach or
anywhere else.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
I've never I've never seen her
Speaker 6 (22:13):
She's
Speaker 5 (22:13):
hand. Up. Like, but she parties too. Like, it's not
like she's not cocktailing oranything.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
So every side is
Speaker 4 (22:20):
eating. Kristen doughnuts.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
Kristen Kristen doughnuts. And we're gonna do a
shout out to you as our one ofour local heroes this week on
the Miller Morning. Since we're
Speaker 5 (22:29):
in house. Like we said, our friend got Stumbly
Bumbly.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
Uh-huh.
Speaker 5 (22:35):
And he started going down and we're like, you really
need to get him taken care of.This is the warning sign. He's
gonna be like
Speaker 6 (22:42):
And is the face doing?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
It was the face. It was the body motion. It was the
lack of motor function. And weall told him like, you need to
get him some water and you needto get off the beach like now
because he's gonna be deadweightsoon. Sure enough, all he did
was cram watermelon down hisface and a hot dog,
Speaker 4 (22:58):
which Jen I mean spent Jen pancakes spent three
hours cutting up watermelon, andthat kid just pounded it, and
then, like, they were just usingthe Tupperware to pour water on
him after he was unresponsive.
Speaker 6 (23:12):
No. Yes.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
He was non respite. It was so
Speaker 6 (23:15):
Was it concerning or funny?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
And then they tried to give the Tupperware back, and
I'm like, just throw it in thegarbage, please. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
It was not it was not funny to begin with, because
it's like, okay, one, you don'tknow, like, what you Get
Speaker 3 (23:28):
with it.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Yeah. Like, be smarter about how you're
drinking. And there was no realsense of caution, and then
finally, we were like, Youreally need to either dial 911,
or like seriously, because thisis not getting anything
Speaker 6 (23:39):
a thing at that point.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
Yeah. We were cons like, not adults if he was like
if it was 60 if it was a daylike today where it's like 60
and he was drunk and be like,okay, like, he's not gonna die,
but the heat. So then someonecalled Kristen Donuts. She went
over, took a look at him,
Speaker 4 (23:55):
and she's like, she's in her bikini like, this is the
thing. She's in her bikini.Bikini all day. Fourth of July
bikini, and, like, she's like, II was coming back to, like, feed
the cats, and she's buzzing byon her on her golf cart to get a
yeah. To get, like like, it's aambulance or whatever and to
(24:16):
pick up IVs.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
IVs. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
For this poor kid. And so
Speaker 5 (24:25):
We can laugh about it now, but anyway, like
Speaker 4 (24:27):
I know. Like, so all of us are like, Yeah. Somebody
should call 91 And like, this isa dangerous situation.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Yeah. Kristen Donuts goes to get lifesaving IP. IVs.
IVs. So comes back, pumps thiskid full of fluids in one bag,
pumps a second bag at
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Well, also, Christina assisting
Speaker 5 (24:50):
was backup.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Also, shout out Shout out to Hero. Christina. Woah.
She's a d too. Donut.
Donette? Donette. ChristinaDonette. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
Really confusing. Kristen. Christina. Donut. Well,
Speaker 4 (25:09):
let's keep it confusing. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Kristen donuts and but, yeah, they pumped this kid
full of three I three full Idon't know if it
Speaker 5 (25:16):
was three full, but it was it went into a third bag.
I don't think the third bagfully got empty, but those are
that's like 48 or 40 ounces ofno.
Speaker 6 (25:26):
Was it free?
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Well
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Well, so that's the other thing. So the one of our
other friends, who is kind oflike, I don't know if he's a
stepdad too. Technically.Technically. Yeah.
Said, well, I'm gonna get themlike a gift certificate for
helping him, like $50 orwhatever. I'm like,
Speaker 5 (25:51):
Gianna and no.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Yeah. He was gonna get a gift certificate for
Kristen, and he's he's like,yeah, like $50, maybe like
Starbucks or whatever. I'm like,those IVs are like a $100
apiece. You better, like, justgive her a check for $500.
That's what you should dobecause she saved that kid.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Oh, yeah. And the the so the kicker of the story too
is like or like, how is he gonnabe tomorrow? And she's like,
he's not in a field thing.Because like the IV, like
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Well, she also asked when he could start drinking
again, which I thought was
Speaker 6 (26:23):
very Who asked that?
Speaker 5 (26:24):
The friends asked that. Yeah. Not I was like,
Speaker 4 (26:27):
well said he's gonna wanna drink again. And I said,
you know what he should do?
Speaker 5 (26:32):
Go home.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
No. I said, he should go to fucking church. Find
Jesus. Find the church, takethem there tomorrow, and tell
them you should thank the Lordthat you didn't die, and thank
these hot bikini ladies. Like,could you imagine if you were a
kid, and like, these hot ladiesare giving you IVs, and you're
(26:56):
dying?
Speaker 5 (26:57):
It's definitely like, in a more or less more or less
serious, it's definitely thestart to a porno.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Right? Like, it's like, what the fuck in what
world that are these nurses inbikinis doing IVs on the beach?
On July 4. It's Miller Beach.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
I don't remember
Speaker 4 (27:12):
that. That's what world you're in. Because if you
ever see I I don't know thatI've ever seen someone getting
an IV on the beach.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
No. Because it doesn't happen, Fury. Like, of
all the This should not I mean,thank God he's okay. This should
not have gone down like it did.But, yeah, like, no one
Speaker 6 (27:31):
You were lucky.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
No one was overly worried. Like, we were
Speaker 6 (27:35):
No, talk about that.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
There was concern in our group, and Mrs. Scramble was
kind of eg egging
Speaker 4 (27:41):
on like this. She was very concerned. I was also
concerned.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
My issue was once you start helping, you can't stop.
Like, liability wise, you can'tand I'm like, I'm not touching
that with a 10 foot pole.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
That's a good point.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
And I didn't wanna go over there because if, like, he
would have puked, I would havepuked, and
Speaker 5 (27:57):
then like, ruin your lifeguard. So I was lifeguard
certified when I was in highschool, and they tell you, the
bystander law says that you do Imean, if you're on duty, if like
you're walking down the streetand someone's having a heart
attack, you don't have to dojack shit. You can sit there and
watch him die. But if you decideto start helping
Speaker 6 (28:15):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
You cannot stop until professionals show up or they're
revived. Like, you can't just belike, oh, well, I I gave him
three pumps and a breath. Hedidn't make it, so I just walked
away. You can't do that.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Well, if he died, there would be no witnesses.
Anyway. But yeah, there were alot of witnesses to this. And
I'm gonna tell you, again, goingback to this alcohol spectrum
situation, like, did it ruinanyone's day is what you asked.
(28:48):
Right?
Yeah. No. Not at all. Not atall.
Speaker 6 (28:51):
That's amazing.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Everyone just kinda asks, is that kid okay? And then
like, oh, okay. Cool. Where arethe fireworks?
Speaker 4 (28:58):
I I
Speaker 6 (28:59):
don't know how to take that.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
I think if he would have died, that no one would
have no. No one would have givena shit. They still would have
wanted the the fireworks.
Speaker 6 (29:08):
Pluck this situation out of that and put it somewhere
else. Right?
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Like, if it's happened in Valpo?
Speaker 6 (29:14):
Anywhere. Like, at home. Frankfurt, Michigan. Sure.
Or like, if you saw a guygetting an IV,
Speaker 5 (29:22):
you know Well, also, the Fed I think a couple
factors. One, there were not alot of out of towners in town
because the cloud scared themoff. There was no official
authorities down. Like, no onesaw a cop or an ambulance or
like someone in an EMT, so thatwas also in
Speaker 4 (29:37):
There was a cop that threatened to get involved,
apparently.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
Yes. Which I'm not even to save the innocent and
those, I'm not gonna we're notgonna go down there. But yes,
the cops were around, but prettymuch, like, by the time it was
gonna get serious
Speaker 4 (29:51):
He was IV'd
Speaker 5 (29:52):
already. Yeah. IV Ivan.
Speaker 6 (29:55):
So it was was it
Speaker 4 (29:56):
like name him. He's not listening. Well, fuck him
anyway. Like, I don't want himDon't come back here if you
until you learn how to drink.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
I Well, no. Yeah. That's what I said. Like, don't
bring
Speaker 6 (30:06):
Or maybe this is how you learn.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Well, you don't learn. You don't learn. Okay. So
No. I don't know.
I'm I'm in t alright. So I'm int ball. Do and I'm a little
kindergartner, and do I go andface a major league pitcher
Speaker 6 (30:21):
Good point.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
That throws a 100 miles an hour? No. I don't
fucking do You you're you'regonna have a tea for me to hit
off of, which is like a highnoon or whatever. You get to
have that. That's going back tothese teenagers drinking.
They're like, I have never
Speaker 5 (30:37):
We're here.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
In my life thought that anyone would I would see
anyone shotgun a Twisted Tea,but I've seen it. I seen it, I
hate it. Don't wanna ever see itagain. It's not even carbonated.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Who shotguns? Who well, twisted tea.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
My niece and her boyfriend Oh. Shotgun the
twisted tea, and they call themTweez or some shit. Here's the
thing now. Shortened.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
I don't like it. If you're gonna drink tea with
booze, there's way better waysto do it because twisted Tea's
got a weird
Speaker 4 (31:08):
But it's not carbonated. There's no effect of
the shotgun. There's no need
Speaker 5 (31:12):
to shut it.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
You can just drink it down, like, from the hole.
Speaker 6 (31:15):
There's nothing impressive about it.
Speaker 5 (31:17):
No. It doesn't. That was the, like, that was the
reason you would shotgun a beeris because it's carbonated. So
you had to, like,
Speaker 4 (31:22):
wait and eat their mouths.
Speaker 6 (31:23):
Thing, but now I totally see what you're saying.
That that did make
Speaker 5 (31:26):
so shotgunning Twisted Tea's.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Man, I was so I'm still so mad about this. Like,
learn how to drink. But, yeah,like, this kid is not coming to
the pro like, the July 4, MillerBeach is pro. It's an all star
game.
Speaker 6 (31:39):
But maybe but that's the thing is,
Speaker 5 (31:41):
like this yeah. This kid, up up in the fourth inning,
Randy Johnson's got a no hairgoing.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Here he goes. For tequila on top of the vodka at
eleven in the morning. It's 95degrees in Miller Beach.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Well, that was one of
Speaker 4 (31:52):
the first comments made is
Speaker 5 (31:53):
like, this is and I think you might have said it
like, this is a all star, like,hall of fame level day. Like,
you can't be bringing thatamateur bullshit.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
No. You gotta know your limits. You gotta start
maybe with some water, you know,maybe even wait till the
fireworks start to get
Speaker 5 (32:08):
Even even the pros, even weed, switch out, bring
water, like, you can't do
Speaker 4 (32:14):
was the of doing like mostly water, but a little bit
of vodka lemonade, but mostlike, it was pretty watered down
is what I did.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
And you gotta spend some yeah, gotta cool down. Some
keys. So to become a betterbeach drinker.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
To become a better Miller Beach Always
Speaker 5 (32:31):
keep your core temperature down. So if you're
at the beach and you aredrinking, once in a while, just
go in the water, sink down, getthe neck level, let the cold
water get your head under
Speaker 4 (32:42):
your body.
Speaker 6 (32:43):
Touch base with your body.
Speaker 5 (32:44):
Well, don't don't touch your base with your body
too much because that's illegalgoing on, unless you have a fuck
shed. If you have a portablefuck shed, then you can do all
you want.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
There were no fuck sheds on the beach this year.
Speaker 5 (32:55):
There were fuck tents that no one took down at
nighttime, which made no fuckingsense.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
So last year, there was this, like, I don't know if
it was like a changing stationor whatever, but it looked like
there were people going in thereand fucking. It was like a
little tent or shed
Speaker 5 (33:10):
or whatever. It looked like a portable outhouse.
Yeah. That was weird.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
But no no sight of those this year. Okay. No boats.
Not really a lot of boats. Thatwas nice.
No. The the cops actually did areally good job, like
Speaker 6 (33:24):
Yeah. Good.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
Clearing the beach where they were doing the
fireworks and clearing out theboats. No like, not 50 different
speakers. Although,
Speaker 3 (33:33):
there was
Speaker 4 (33:34):
one of our neighbors trying to even though there was
a huge sound system, he's reallyproud of his music and it's like
a menagerie of trash, like likefucking country and hip hop and
like zero taste.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Checked out. Yeah. Whatever. Reggae. It was an
interesting mix.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
And, you know, he was trying to get it going, but at
some point, someone was like,shut your fucking speaker off.
Speaker 6 (34:02):
Yeah. No.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
And yeah. Like, so that I don't under I'll never
understand. Like, why do peoplewant other people to hear their
music?
Speaker 6 (34:13):
The I'm the complete opposite. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (34:15):
That you want everyone to hear your music?
Speaker 6 (34:17):
I don't. Like like
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Oh, yeah. So when I walked down and I heard music,
I'm like, there's already somefucking boater asshole down
there blaring, and then I
Speaker 4 (34:25):
walked down, I'm like, oh, no. It's just the
Speaker 5 (34:27):
one they're gonna use for the show later, I guess.
But, yeah, like, to me, like, wecan all listen to our own music.
You don't have to blare it
Speaker 6 (34:34):
for everyone bad music than to music.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Oh, yeah. By yeah. What hearing, like, good music
drowned Yeah. Out with
Speaker 4 (34:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (34:44):
Not. Yeah. It's not good.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
It's annoying. Like, I didn't come down
Speaker 5 (34:47):
here to listen to your bullshit, or your bullshit
music. So But, yeah, thefireworks were decent.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
There were some big lags in
Speaker 5 (34:55):
the show, which was kinda weird.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
So so yeah. The fireworks, I had went into Jose,
thank you for the fireworks.Great job. Appreciate it.
Speaker 6 (35:06):
Does he set them off?
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Yes. I don't I think he set them off this year, which
good thing he didn't blowanything off. I mean, or, like,
any limbs or anything because hecan't afford to lose, like, any
height. Well, I mean
Speaker 5 (35:19):
well, even if he blows his legs off, he's only
gonna be, like, two inchesshorter. I mean, he's he's not a
tall man.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
But he did a it it was a well organized. I think
part of the problem with thefireworks were that, so I went
in, I saw them in the garagethere Mhmm. Before they set them
off.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
That's cool.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
And the fireworks on the box said, Trump is your
president. And then In caseanyone underneath it, it said,
made in China. So, like, it wasvery it was very Jerry's got
That was what the fireworksnamed were named. Trump is your
president.
Speaker 6 (35:57):
That's funny.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Yeah. Right? Like, what the fuck, man? Is that
Speaker 6 (36:00):
ironic, or is that like a That's
Speaker 4 (36:03):
kind It's kind of
Speaker 5 (36:04):
Like, we all know that the fireworks come from
China, but
Speaker 4 (36:07):
it's just kinda funny that Trump Trump is your
president. Like, duh. Like, isthat just a I slick marketing
Speaker 5 (36:14):
think
Speaker 6 (36:15):
it's cute. I think it's cute.
Speaker 5 (36:16):
Well, I mean, if you're trying to sell fireworks,
that's gonna that's gonna
Speaker 4 (36:20):
be the market. MAGA is your target market for
fireworks for sure because I amnot.
Speaker 6 (36:25):
I'm taking the complete opposite take. Like,
Trump is your it's like a it'sfunny. It's like,
Speaker 4 (36:32):
Yeah. And they did blow up, like, out of his face
too. So, like, it completely
Speaker 6 (36:37):
not wait.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
No. It had his mouth, and then it had, like, a tube.
Speaker 5 (36:41):
So it's like a blow up to all of the Yeah.
Speaker 6 (36:42):
I didn't that. You didn't see that.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Yeah. Like, it had a picture of him on the actual
fireworks, and then they cameout of his mouth.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
Do you have a picture of that?
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Well Somewhere. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
We do. We will post it
Speaker 4 (36:54):
to We'll put it in the show notes.
Speaker 5 (36:56):
And we'll put it on the show notes or our Instagram.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah. So like, just like blew out of his mouth. And
I think he had some super coolones that I've never seen before
that like shot horizontally overthe water and then went up.
Speaker 5 (37:12):
So
Speaker 4 (37:12):
They were they were amazing. And they look like
fireballs landed in the lake. SoDefinitely pollution.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
There were
Speaker 6 (37:19):
Drunk people putting these off, it makes me sad.
Speaker 5 (37:21):
Well, worried me because there were people in the
water when he lit that water.Yeah. And I wanted to, like
Speaker 4 (37:25):
And there's these huge fireballs falling into the
lake. They were like on fire. Solike, it was crazy.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
Like, it looked like an accident at first, and then
you see like all of a sudden
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Yeah. They like went up like missiles. They went
horizontal, and then they wentup, and then they fell down as
balls of fire.
Speaker 6 (37:41):
They should do a barge next year.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Firework barge?
Speaker 5 (37:44):
That's not what professionals do it. It costs a
lot of money.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Well, no. You can just you can
Speaker 4 (37:48):
just I mean, we just got buoys in, and it's almost
the July. I
Speaker 5 (37:51):
used to say like
Speaker 6 (37:52):
could find someone with a boat, and you could like
Speaker 5 (37:55):
Do you have access to a barge? No. More expensive than
you think.
Speaker 6 (38:00):
Sure it is.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
It probably takes a lot of gas.
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Not well, you gotta push the thing. I mean, the
barge itself doesn't. It's justa big giant water couch.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
So they were good. So there were some going straight
out into the water.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
They were just the one. It was just the one shotty.
Yeah. There were but there wasfireworks all the way up and
down the beach. So it wasn'tjust our group.
It was another group. Then youcould see Ogden Dunes, they were
doing theirs. I mean, had we nothad the Ivy Ivan situation, it
probably would have been a lotmore like patriotic, I guess,
(38:33):
and fun, but
Speaker 4 (38:34):
I don't know about patriotic.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
I mean
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Maybe more like a funeral is what I thought. But
Speaker 5 (38:42):
but that was kind of fourth of July, and then I,
like, I saw the finale on theway in because I after the well,
I'm like, oh, they must be done.And then, like, I'm not turning
around at this point. Once Ihead up that beach with all my
shit, I am not turning around.
Speaker 6 (38:53):
Oh, okay. So that was my next question.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 6 (38:55):
When the fireworks start, is that like you're
sitting, watching, then youleave? Or like, what's the
Speaker 5 (39:03):
Or is I it like
Speaker 4 (39:04):
mean, I think it was kinda buggy.
Speaker 5 (39:06):
It was buggy. Like, the wind stops of the gnats were
kinda like, I was deep woodsoffed, and I'm like, didn't have
any more in me.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
I'm sure there were some lunatics that started fires
on the beach or
Speaker 5 (39:19):
was a bomb that I could verify because I saw a
fire already going. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:23):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
Someone almost caught the dune on fire, and the cops
like ended up putting it out.
Speaker 5 (39:30):
I didn't see that. Yeah. It was
Speaker 6 (39:33):
Was it beach fire?
Speaker 4 (39:34):
No. It like one of the fireworks up the beach
toward maybe Park. Oh,
Speaker 5 (39:41):
okay. Yeah. So you like
Speaker 4 (39:44):
Like, got two like, somebody launched one into the
dunes, they they ended upputting it out. But but, yeah,
there was probably beach fires,you know, because a lot of
people like to do that. Not me.I mean, it wasn't because even
me, I this is the first timeI've ever stayed down there the
whole for the whole time.
Speaker 5 (40:01):
Well, also, to speak about drinking professionals, we
started at 9AM, and it was ten.Like, that's a solid thirteen
hours of drinking. Like,
Speaker 4 (40:08):
I I couldn't find so by the time I came up, I could
not find the beach path. Sothat's how, like, dark it
Speaker 5 (40:16):
gets. Wow. Well, it
Speaker 4 (40:18):
was also I wasn't drunk, but
Speaker 5 (40:20):
it was It was clear, and I don't think there I think
it was a new moon.
Speaker 4 (40:22):
Yeah. I couldn't like, I couldn't see where the
beach path was, and I ended uplike following somebody else.
But Alright, folks. That's itfor today's episode of the
(40:54):
Miller morning madhouse. Bigthanks to our sponsors, So Cool
Shirts, where bad decisionsbecome great fashion.
Check them out for your nextquestionable t shirt. And don't
forget, I'll ingest trivia withJosh Scramble hosted at the
Marshall j Gardner Center. It'sthe only trivia night where the
(41:14):
questions are just asunpredictable as the answers.
Join us if you dare. And a shoutout to the Miller Community
Theater, also at the Marshall jGardner Center, where the local
stars shine bright.
Big thanks to the MBACD forhosting these awesome events and
making Miller Beach the place tobe. Thanks for hanging out with
(41:37):
us, Miller Beach. We will beback next Sunday, hopefully,
with a brand new episode. Thatis if we are not too hungover.
No promises, But stay cool, staycrazy, and keep supporting the
madhouse.
Catch you next time.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
All you guys do is just sit up
Speaker 2 (42:07):
there and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
Bam's a bam. What's a bam?
Speaker 5 (42:21):
Well, you wouldn't even know.
All you guys do is just sit up there
Speaker 2 (00:05):
and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
WSBR Super Beach Radio, the best station Pancake
and the scramble. Audiobreakfast with your favorite
(00:34):
guys.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Hey. Hey. Pancake here with another Sun Fried
episode of the Miller morningmadhouse. Today, I am joined by
Josh Scramble and ElizabethBenedict. This week, we're gonna
break down a little fight thatpopped off just before the
fourth.
Things got a little wild, andsomeone's sandal is still up in
the ceiling fan. Then we'regonna dive into the fourth of
(01:07):
July. Do a little recap there.Fireworks, Barefoot Chaos, and
one rookie who almost didn'tmake it. Here's a pro tip.
The fourth and Miller is not forfirst timers. It's not for first
time drinkers. It's like puttinga t ball kid up against Major
League heat. Thankfully, ourbikini clad mom squad MVPs were
(01:29):
on duty and saved the day andthe dude. So grab something cold
and enjoy the show.
We are sponsored today bysocoolshirts.com where the
shirts are questionable and so Idon't know. Anyway, go to
showsocoolshirts.com and get ashirt. It helps the show. So
(02:11):
welcome back. We're back.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
We're back.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
To the Miller Morning Madhouse. My name is Jerry
Pancake,
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Joshua David Scrembo,
Speaker 6 (02:22):
and Elizabeth Benedict.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Alright. We have Elizabeth back. Been a while.
It's been a while. Where haveyou been?
Speaker 6 (02:30):
I'm happy to be back. Michigan for a very long time,
but I'm happy to be back.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Alright. Michigan. Where do you go in Michigan?
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Frankfurt.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I have been there with you guys. I have not.
Speaker 6 (02:48):
Know. I'm so yeah. We haven't
Speaker 5 (02:50):
been there period. Not I'm not, like, calling you
out or anything. I'm just I'venever been there.
Speaker 6 (02:56):
You're fine if you were. No. We I've been there for
I think I've spent at least amonth there this whole summer.
We're going back with the kidsfor, like, a whole week. Yeah.
Nice. But yeah. But I missed allof fourth of July.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Oh. I don't know if you missed it.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Mean, are you
Speaker 6 (03:18):
Fourth of July here.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Were you did you feel like, did you have FOMO?
Speaker 6 (03:24):
Oh, I was definitely curious about what was you know?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
It was hot. I could tell you.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Hot. It was fuck.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Like, we didn't even go down for half the day. Like,
we had we had the it was thelongest golf cart kid bike car
fourth of July parade inhistory. Lasted like
Speaker 6 (03:42):
Fifty five.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Eight minutes, which is like Twelve. It was twelve
minutes.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Twelve? Wow. Well, you know, Bob goes very slow,
and he almost hit that rockagain. Yeah. Like, very close.
Speaker 6 (03:54):
I remember that.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Well, so afterwards, I was returning people to their
homes and I saw Jerry at afriend's house, and they offered
me Mimosa, and I'm like, whynot? And as we were there, Bob
almost hit the rock again.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Like, he was Within inch or inch? Inches, maybe? I
don't know. Yeah. It was veryclose.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Of us, so we couldn't tell And
Speaker 4 (04:17):
he was just like not looking again, and waving at
people.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
There was no one in the street. Thank God.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Yeah. There was no kids behind him on bikes.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
Was that's that's what I'm remembering. Right?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
And Derek trying to start a fight with him. What?
Speaker 6 (04:30):
And but then he he did handle it well once he
calmed down, I think. Right? Itwas
Speaker 4 (04:35):
I mean, it he reversed really fast and almost
hit the kids on the bikes, andthen Derek got really mad. Our
friend Derek What? What's hislast name? Derek what's it? D
Speaker 5 (04:49):
Doily? Derek Doily? No.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
What's a breakfast what's a d word? A breakfast d
word?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Devil Donuts.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
Donut. Derek Donut. That makes him sound fat,
though. Donuts are DerekDoughnuts.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Derek Doughnut hole?
Speaker 6 (05:09):
What about deviled eggs?
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Not
Speaker 4 (05:11):
really breakfast, but hey, it's a it's a fourth
Speaker 5 (05:15):
of
Speaker 4 (05:15):
July themed thing. They probably had deviled eggs
somewhere, not anywhere I went,unfortunately.
Speaker 6 (05:22):
Bet someone's able to give us a really good one right
now that we can't think of.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
I'm sure there's why can we not think of a d
breakfast?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Call us (219) 200-4280 and give us a name for
Derek. Is breakfast related.Derek Tyson also, if you really
wanna Oh, yeah. He did punchsomeone.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Rightfully so, though. They they definitely
earned it.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Did we go over that?
Speaker 4 (05:49):
That guy punched a girl.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
He did
Speaker 6 (05:51):
that too.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Oh, yeah. So that was just before July 4, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Yeah, it was. It was. So it's been very
Speaker 6 (05:58):
don't know that guy.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
No. No. That's good. It's been very hot here and
Speaker 6 (06:03):
Like warm?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
When it gets hot yeah. Like warm and hot. And
like when it gets hot, peoplewill get cranky and
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Isn't it proven like the crime rate goes up for every
degree over like 90
Speaker 6 (06:13):
Florida.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
Well, Chicago. Like, I remember in the mid nineties,
they used to say, like, forevery degree over 90 it gets,
like, the crime rate jumps twopoints or something.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That's crazy. I believe you.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I mean, I don't remember the exact statistics,
but do you remember, like, theyhad that dangerous in the mid
nineties that was like 98degrees for a week straight, and
it killed a bunch of people?Yeah. The crime rate also, like,
went off the chart that weekbecause people were just, like,
pent up because they couldn'tcool down pretty much. Like,
they didn't know outlet, so theyjust like
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah. So it's like that movie, The Son of Sam,
which was like New York City. Iforgot about was a heat wave,
and like no one had fucking airconditioning, and like, then
that guy was murdering a bunchof people. Anyway. Yeah.
So when things get hot, like,the tempers start to flare, and
apparently, this was, I don'tknow, maybe a couple weeks
(07:03):
before the that long. Maybe aweek week the weekend before the
fourth. Things were gettingcrazy.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
When it happened? Because I remember seeing
Speaker 5 (07:13):
All the police. Fix police
Speaker 6 (07:14):
cars, and they were
Speaker 4 (07:15):
just Which is the biggest police response in the
history of Gary in Indiana.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
That's why I was so concerned. Yeah. I was like
like, something must have beenon fire.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Domestic not domestics. We shoot. This was a
bar dispute, so that gets moreattention than anything. Like,
if you break into people's cars,the
Speaker 4 (07:31):
or even shoot two people and murder one of them,
you're not gonna get six copsthere.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
That doesn't matter, but, you know, God forbid, we'd
not bring up this bar fight.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Don't soil the flamingo, sir. We will send all
of our we'll send a tank if yousoil the flamingo.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
Do you think, like, Nick has a bat phone in the back
of the flamingo?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
He does. He has one of those red phones like that,
but it's red, and it just goesstraight to the mayor.
Speaker 6 (07:56):
Yeah. Who do know
Speaker 5 (07:57):
who called
Speaker 6 (07:57):
the police when that happened?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
I don't know. Probably someone in the bar
since it's all, you know, Godlove everybody that works there,
but they're all women. So, like,apparently, what had happened
What? Was that one of ourfriendly neighborhood bartenders
there threw ranch dressing on acustomer because he was being an
(08:23):
idiot and drunk. And so I heardthis part.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
Nor did I.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Yeah. There was some ranch. I think it was ranch. It
might have been like HiddenValley. It might have been
French or whatever.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
Because that stains.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
And so the guy got really mad and then started
throwing stuff around in there,and then he hit one of our
neighbors, who a fella, and thatthat particular fella didn't
really respond. He got hitpretty good and just
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Just took it.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Just took it, I guess.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
That's how it should go.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
And then the guy went outside and he was Alright.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
That's understandable. I I deserve
that.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Rummaging through the like, throwing all the outside
furniture, you know, on thatside part.
Speaker 6 (09:14):
Mhmm. Temper tantrum.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yeah. Just throwing everything, throwing umbrellas,
whatever. Jeez. I didn't hearhim. And then one of the Miller
all stars, Ashley, he hit her inthe face, like, just straight in
the face, because she's tryingto calm him down.
Then our Derek Donuts
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Is she okay? Like, did she
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Laid him out with one punch, and then apparently,
neighbor just really laid intohim once he was, like, on the
ground.
Speaker 6 (09:46):
I'm so happy that Derek did that.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Derek to the rescue.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
I mean, yeah, that was very classy, and we commend
you, and you'll be getting aaward from the so cool or the
Miller Morning Man House.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
You know?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Sorry. So cool podcast, Miller Morning Man
House.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
Like that. I don't I I always think, what would I do
in that situation? And I
Speaker 5 (10:06):
I know you, and I think you just freeze up.
Speaker 6 (10:08):
I just completely freeze up.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
No offense. This is No.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
I just No. I I'm glad that that was my answer though
because
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Yeah. Like, I could just imagine you just look a
shock just like
Speaker 6 (10:18):
Well, I need like a lot of time to process
something.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
So, like, I would be good for one punch, but then I
would be running out of therebecause, like, I would be
worried. Always have this thingwhere like, I get in a fight,
and then it's like one guy, andI think I can like do pretty
well against one guy, but thenlike
Speaker 6 (10:37):
The friends.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
The friends all end up joining in, and like the one
time
Speaker 5 (10:41):
You're like that guy in the dazed and confused when
he's like, all I need to do isget one good punch and then get
the shit kicked out.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah. And I just got the shit kicked out of me like
every time where it's like, oh,man, I'm gonna have to go back
and like seek revenge laterbecause these guys really fucked
me up. So anyway Yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:58):
His reaction was just, I think, really
impressive.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
But what I heard also is the reason there were so many
cops is someone claimed that hehad a gun, and that's what
brought out all the cops.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
So what happened is the guy got beat up pretty bad,
and he left, but then he cameback with friends, and
supposedly, they were armed, andthat's when the but like so this
just
Speaker 5 (11:22):
how looking?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Yeah. They so Derek slipped out when he saw them
come back into the bar becausehe's like, they're probably
looking for me.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
That's smart.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
And they were like
Speaker 6 (11:32):
You know, I can knock
Speaker 4 (11:33):
on Our friend got fucking jumped in here by white
guys and we're looking for him.Yeah. So that was, you know, a
big hullabaloo, and supposedly,they arrested someone. I don't
believe that at all. I but
Speaker 5 (11:49):
I'm just looking like, can you imagine the
conversation this guy, like,goes up to his friends? Hey,
man. I need you to come help meout. What happened? So I hit
this woman in the face, and thenI got my ass kicked.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
I'm sure he did not mention this.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
No. But I mean
Speaker 6 (12:02):
What? What the
Speaker 4 (12:05):
So and also, like, it just shows you so we've been
talking about this for a bit,Jen, Pancake, and I, that
there's a wide spectrum ofalcoholism here. Like, it's just
everyone's on it on the spectrumof alcoholism. But some people
are, you know, more No. Spectrumy. I mean, they're other people.
(12:27):
They're small
Speaker 5 (12:28):
stars for sure.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
And so the reaction of some of the people that are
heavy on this on this spectrumto the soul because I would have
left. Like, if I was in theredrinking and all this shit
happened, I would have beenlike, I'm getting the fuck out
of this place. Fuck. I'mprobably not gonna come back for
a while.
Speaker 6 (12:45):
Yeah. I don't wanna get, like,
Speaker 5 (12:46):
a sign punch bag. These things kinda start
happening. I give a look like,alright, finish the cocktails
because we're leaving in
Speaker 4 (12:51):
sixty We're getting the fuck out of here. I'll call
and I'll pay
Speaker 6 (12:55):
the tab tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah. I'll come back and pay tomorrow. Yeah. But
Speaker 6 (12:59):
Well, let's go across
Speaker 4 (13:00):
the street. Lot of our friends and neighbors are on
the spectrum of they're gonnadrink through this, and it's
fine. And so, like, we get allthese texts like, there's six
cops. Oh my god. Ashley got hitin the face.
All this stuff is happening.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Then Grateful for
Speaker 4 (13:17):
the And then, like Give
Speaker 5 (13:18):
me a refill.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Two hours later, they're like, oh, everything's
fine. Nothing. No big deal. I'mlike, what the fuck? Well, like,
delusional
Speaker 6 (13:26):
worried about.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Yeah. Like, how delusional are you? And then
everyone shut up and wouldn'ttalk about it for, like, two
days.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
Bad for the information.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Yeah. Well, we had to like we had to go to several
sources because people likedon't wanna like I don't know. I
don't know what the or it's justlike, oh, we were drunk and I
don't even remember. Maybemaybe, you know, the guy had
ranch dressing thrown on him andthat was why he was mad. But I I
(13:56):
don't care.
Like, it's it's these thishappens with all sorts of
serious situations around herelately that I can like, off the
top of my head.
Speaker 5 (14:07):
It's downplayed severely.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Yeah. So let's get into the fourth of July.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
Downplayed severely. Wait. I just have a quick
question on the ranch. Do youknow why the ranch was thrown?
I'm guessing she
Speaker 5 (14:17):
was carrying it, and it just happened to be
convenient to throw at him. Thatwould be my guess.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
No. I think it was something where the guy was,
like, belligerent about askingfor more ranch.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
He's desperate. Who? Who's what?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Oh, Jordan. Hi, Jordan.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Hey, Jordan.
Speaker 6 (14:36):
That makes you so happy.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Yeah. Like, he probably was being a drunk idiot
and was like, there's not enoughfucking ranch.
Speaker 6 (14:45):
Thought it was.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
And she probably was like, here's your fucking ranch,
you fucking asshole. Good forher.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
That's how you survive.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
WSBR Super Mutual Radio, the best station between
Rush and Ridley. We love playingmusic, but right now, we have to
pay some bills.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Are you tired of overpriced colleges that teach
you how to think, but not how todrink? Welcome to Miller Beach
University of AdvancedConsumption, where the only
thing higher than our GPA isyour bar tab.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Professor Pancake here. I have a PhD in PBR, and I
teach intro to booze logic onezero one every Friday. Syllabus,
who needs one? Just show up witha cooler.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
And I'm professor Elizabeth Benedict. In my class,
we cover essential life skills,like how to talk your way into
VIP with expired wristbands andhow to hide a fireball in a
beach chair.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
At MBUAC, our student body is 100% hydrated with
domestic light beer. We offeradvanced degrees in shot math,
hangover philosophy, and oursignature capstone course, You
Up? Text in the Art of Regret.Apply now and receive a free
koozie and honorary doctorate inbad decisions. Miller Beach
(16:31):
University of AdvancedConsumption, where the sand is
hot, the drinks are cold, andthe only thing we take seriously
is last call.
Classes start every weekend.Enrollment is rolling like your
cooler down the beach. Extracredit if you don't puke in your
Uber.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
So, yeah, the fourth comes around.
Speaker 6 (16:53):
Start from the beginning.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
So at The parade was the beginning.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Yeah. At 9AM, is it?
Speaker 6 (16:59):
Were there any festivities, like, before the
fourth? Wait. The fourth was aThursday?
Speaker 5 (17:03):
Thursday. So, yeah. No. So there was Wednesday at
the Bird, which I did not go to,because I'm like, if we're gonna
be partying all weekend, I donot need to be partying a fifth
day for
Speaker 6 (17:12):
That was that heat wave too.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
Yeah. It was hot too, so I did not go to the music.
Speaker 6 (17:17):
You're trying to remember?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Was it Jerry Clemens?
Speaker 5 (17:19):
I think it might have been.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
I probably went, but I didn't stay long because I was
nervous about getting shot orpunched in the face.
Speaker 6 (17:29):
Or ranch thrown on you.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Yeah. Or get ranched. But I I took it easy, I think,
Wednesday or may yeah. Mean,just my normal spectrum of
alcoholism. And then it startedwith the parade, which is way
too early, by the way.
I'm just gonna put that out
Speaker 5 (17:50):
there. Nine. Nine. Although, with as hot as it was,
it was probably a good thingthat it wasn't.
Speaker 6 (17:56):
Yeah. Nine's very early.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
On a holiday? On a holiday, yeah. So, yeah,
Speaker 5 (18:01):
we went, we watched the parade for all twelve
minutes. I returned some peoplewith my golf cart, and then we
went to a brunch at a friend'sof ours, which was very nice. It
was a good with as warm as itwas, although it was unusually
cool that morning, like, got alot of cloud cover, so it wasn't
severely hot. So we chilledthere at the brunch, and about
03:00, we wandered down to thebeach just in time for it to get
(18:23):
super hot out. Like, all theclouds disembarked, and it was
just like, here's your sun.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Is 03:00 late?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
For us, usually. Yeah. On the fourth, I think,
like, people are
Speaker 5 (18:34):
The beach was already somewhat full.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Because typically, people like, set up early.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
It was people were setting, and I didn't care. I'm
like, if I go down there and Ican't find a spot, I will figure
out something.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Right. Which is odd for
Speaker 5 (18:46):
me, because usually I'm down there like,
Speaker 4 (18:48):
claiming real estate like some old West prospector.
But yeah, it was not as so itkinda maybe it rained a tiny
bit. Or it looked like it wasgonna possibly rain. So I think
that had a impact on the amountof people, because there was
(19:08):
definitely less people on thebeach this fourth
Speaker 5 (19:11):
than looked like it was going to rain, but it never
hit. It was cloudy, thready.
Speaker 6 (19:16):
Tough the whole day?
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Till about it was cloudy ish from
Speaker 4 (19:20):
And then it just got fucking blazing hot.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Yeah. As soon as the clouds partied at, like, four,
everyone was in the waterbecause it was just like, damn,
it's hot out here. Like, it was90 plus. So it's it's super hot,
and it's like 04:30, 05:00.Dinner's Actually, it's later
than that.
Probably six because we went Iwent and fed the cats. We ate
(19:43):
something real quick and thencame back because we knew we
were gonna be there late. So weget back, and no names will be
mentioned. You know what youdid. So one of our friends,
recently out of college, brought
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Young. Young. Just of drinking age.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
Just of yes.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Just So I know.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Well, who it is. He brought his friend, and his
friend got a little shootityschnooted. So he had the He did?
His friend did. So the theperson we don't know came to the
beach and was very stumblybumbly.
(20:22):
Like, he was in the water andwas doing, you know, the wobbly
legs and the He's a real pastyfella. Yeah. He pro I'm amazed
Speaker 6 (20:29):
He's 21, though.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Yes. They they were legal, but they didn't know how
to drink. Guy's They're new.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Tequila and vodka at like started at ten in the
morning.
Speaker 5 (20:39):
Mix first of all, mixing tequila and vodka is a
bad idea to begin with,regardless of what the
temperature is. But on a 95degree day on the beach yeah.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
So There is something not to derail this, but there is
something to be said aboutpeople that know how to drink on
the beach or in the summertimeor whatever.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
It's a marathon.
Speaker 6 (21:00):
It's gift, I think. It's a gift. Like, when you when
I would bring up people toMichigan, and you would know if
they weren't they never went toa lake house. Like, to be able
to pace yourself
Speaker 4 (21:13):
It's kinda like the dark arts.
Speaker 6 (21:14):
Sun. It is a dark art. That's a good I
Speaker 4 (21:17):
like that. Yeah. Like, if you're gonna draft
somebody that's gonna drink onthe beach, who's your number one
pick?
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Oh, so like From here. The best drinker on the
beach.
Speaker 6 (21:29):
Because it isn't art. I really do think so.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
So are we talking like someone we've never seen
fucked up on the beach? Becausewe've all had those days where
we've all had too much.
Speaker 6 (21:36):
Or they can still be fucked up, but but not destruct
destructive.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Yeah. Like, that takes out a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
You know what
Speaker 6 (21:43):
I mean? Like oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
God. Who would I draft if I was, like, my number
one beach drinker? Who would Itake
Speaker 6 (21:52):
first over? Good.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Alright. We're gonna get into that. Yeah. I think I
think she's gotta be in theYeah. Top.
She's gotta be in the top.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
Because I've never seen her ever.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Now that I think about
Speaker 5 (22:07):
it, I've never
Speaker 4 (22:07):
but I've I haven't seen her drunk at the beach or
anywhere else.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
I've never I've never seen her
Speaker 6 (22:13):
She's
Speaker 5 (22:13):
hand. Up. Like, but she parties too. Like, it's not
like she's not cocktailing oranything.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
So every side is
Speaker 4 (22:20):
eating. Kristen doughnuts.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
Kristen Kristen doughnuts. And we're gonna do a
shout out to you as our one ofour local heroes this week on
the Miller Morning. Since we're
Speaker 5 (22:29):
in house. Like we said, our friend got Stumbly
Bumbly.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
Uh-huh.
Speaker 5 (22:35):
And he started going down and we're like, you really
need to get him taken care of.This is the warning sign. He's
gonna be like
Speaker 6 (22:42):
And is the face doing?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
It was the face. It was the body motion. It was the
lack of motor function. And weall told him like, you need to
get him some water and you needto get off the beach like now
because he's gonna be deadweightsoon. Sure enough, all he did
was cram watermelon down hisface and a hot dog,
Speaker 4 (22:58):
which Jen I mean spent Jen pancakes spent three
hours cutting up watermelon, andthat kid just pounded it, and
then, like, they were just usingthe Tupperware to pour water on
him after he was unresponsive.
Speaker 6 (23:12):
No. Yes.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
He was non respite. It was so
Speaker 6 (23:15):
Was it concerning or funny?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
And then they tried to give the Tupperware back, and
I'm like, just throw it in thegarbage, please. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
It was not it was not funny to begin with, because
it's like, okay, one, you don'tknow, like, what you Get
Speaker 3 (23:28):
with it.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Yeah. Like, be smarter about how you're
drinking. And there was no realsense of caution, and then
finally, we were like, Youreally need to either dial 911,
or like seriously, because thisis not getting anything
Speaker 6 (23:39):
a thing at that point.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
Yeah. We were cons like, not adults if he was like
if it was 60 if it was a daylike today where it's like 60
and he was drunk and be like,okay, like, he's not gonna die,
but the heat. So then someonecalled Kristen Donuts. She went
over, took a look at him,
Speaker 4 (23:55):
and she's like, she's in her bikini like, this is the
thing. She's in her bikini.Bikini all day. Fourth of July
bikini, and, like, she's like, II was coming back to, like, feed
the cats, and she's buzzing byon her on her golf cart to get a
yeah. To get, like like, it's aambulance or whatever and to
(24:16):
pick up IVs.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
IVs. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
For this poor kid. And so
Speaker 5 (24:25):
We can laugh about it now, but anyway, like
Speaker 4 (24:27):
I know. Like, so all of us are like, Yeah. Somebody
should call 91 And like, this isa dangerous situation.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Yeah. Kristen Donuts goes to get lifesaving IP. IVs.
IVs. So comes back, pumps thiskid full of fluids in one bag,
pumps a second bag at
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Well, also, Christina assisting
Speaker 5 (24:50):
was backup.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Also, shout out Shout out to Hero. Christina. Woah.
She's a d too. Donut.
Donette? Donette. ChristinaDonette. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
Really confusing. Kristen. Christina. Donut. Well,
Speaker 4 (25:09):
let's keep it confusing. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Kristen donuts and but, yeah, they pumped this kid
full of three I three full Idon't know if it
Speaker 5 (25:16):
was three full, but it was it went into a third bag.
I don't think the third bagfully got empty, but those are
that's like 48 or 40 ounces ofno.
Speaker 6 (25:26):
Was it free?
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Well
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Well, so that's the other thing. So the one of our
other friends, who is kind oflike, I don't know if he's a
stepdad too. Technically.Technically. Yeah.
Said, well, I'm gonna get themlike a gift certificate for
helping him, like $50 orwhatever. I'm like,
Speaker 5 (25:51):
Gianna and no.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Yeah. He was gonna get a gift certificate for
Kristen, and he's he's like,yeah, like $50, maybe like
Starbucks or whatever. I'm like,those IVs are like a $100
apiece. You better, like, justgive her a check for $500.
That's what you should dobecause she saved that kid.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Oh, yeah. And the the so the kicker of the story too
is like or like, how is he gonnabe tomorrow? And she's like,
he's not in a field thing.Because like the IV, like
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Well, she also asked when he could start drinking
again, which I thought was
Speaker 6 (26:23):
very Who asked that?
Speaker 5 (26:24):
The friends asked that. Yeah. Not I was like,
Speaker 4 (26:27):
well said he's gonna wanna drink again. And I said,
you know what he should do?
Speaker 5 (26:32):
Go home.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
No. I said, he should go to fucking church. Find
Jesus. Find the church, takethem there tomorrow, and tell
them you should thank the Lordthat you didn't die, and thank
these hot bikini ladies. Like,could you imagine if you were a
kid, and like, these hot ladiesare giving you IVs, and you're
(26:56):
dying?
Speaker 5 (26:57):
It's definitely like, in a more or less more or less
serious, it's definitely thestart to a porno.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Right? Like, it's like, what the fuck in what
world that are these nurses inbikinis doing IVs on the beach?
On July 4. It's Miller Beach.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
I don't remember
Speaker 4 (27:12):
that. That's what world you're in. Because if you
ever see I I don't know thatI've ever seen someone getting
an IV on the beach.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
No. Because it doesn't happen, Fury. Like, of
all the This should not I mean,thank God he's okay. This should
not have gone down like it did.But, yeah, like, no one
Speaker 6 (27:31):
You were lucky.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
No one was overly worried. Like, we were
Speaker 6 (27:35):
No, talk about that.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
There was concern in our group, and Mrs. Scramble was
kind of eg egging
Speaker 4 (27:41):
on like this. She was very concerned. I was also
concerned.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
My issue was once you start helping, you can't stop.
Like, liability wise, you can'tand I'm like, I'm not touching
that with a 10 foot pole.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
That's a good point.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
And I didn't wanna go over there because if, like, he
would have puked, I would havepuked, and
Speaker 5 (27:57):
then like, ruin your lifeguard. So I was lifeguard
certified when I was in highschool, and they tell you, the
bystander law says that you do Imean, if you're on duty, if like
you're walking down the streetand someone's having a heart
attack, you don't have to dojack shit. You can sit there and
watch him die. But if you decideto start helping
Speaker 6 (28:15):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
You cannot stop until professionals show up or they're
revived. Like, you can't just belike, oh, well, I I gave him
three pumps and a breath. Hedidn't make it, so I just walked
away. You can't do that.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Well, if he died, there would be no witnesses.
Anyway. But yeah, there were alot of witnesses to this. And
I'm gonna tell you, again, goingback to this alcohol spectrum
situation, like, did it ruinanyone's day is what you asked.
(28:48):
Right?
Yeah. No. Not at all. Not atall.
Speaker 6 (28:51):
That's amazing.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Everyone just kinda asks, is that kid okay? And then
like, oh, okay. Cool. Where arethe fireworks?
Speaker 4 (28:58):
I I
Speaker 6 (28:59):
don't know how to take that.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
I think if he would have died, that no one would
have no. No one would have givena shit. They still would have
wanted the the fireworks.
Speaker 6 (29:08):
Pluck this situation out of that and put it somewhere
else. Right?
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Like, if it's happened in Valpo?
Speaker 6 (29:14):
Anywhere. Like, at home. Frankfurt, Michigan. Sure.
Or like, if you saw a guygetting an IV,
Speaker 5 (29:22):
you know Well, also, the Fed I think a couple
factors. One, there were not alot of out of towners in town
because the cloud scared themoff. There was no official
authorities down. Like, no onesaw a cop or an ambulance or
like someone in an EMT, so thatwas also in
Speaker 4 (29:37):
There was a cop that threatened to get involved,
apparently.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
Yes. Which I'm not even to save the innocent and
those, I'm not gonna we're notgonna go down there. But yes,
the cops were around, but prettymuch, like, by the time it was
gonna get serious
Speaker 4 (29:51):
He was IV'd
Speaker 5 (29:52):
already. Yeah. IV Ivan.
Speaker 6 (29:55):
So it was was it
Speaker 4 (29:56):
like name him. He's not listening. Well, fuck him
anyway. Like, I don't want himDon't come back here if you
until you learn how to drink.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
I Well, no. Yeah. That's what I said. Like, don't
bring
Speaker 6 (30:06):
Or maybe this is how you learn.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Well, you don't learn. You don't learn. Okay. So
No. I don't know.
I'm I'm in t alright. So I'm int ball. Do and I'm a little
kindergartner, and do I go andface a major league pitcher
Speaker 6 (30:21):
Good point.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
That throws a 100 miles an hour? No. I don't
fucking do You you're you'regonna have a tea for me to hit
off of, which is like a highnoon or whatever. You get to
have that. That's going back tothese teenagers drinking.
They're like, I have never
Speaker 5 (30:37):
We're here.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
In my life thought that anyone would I would see
anyone shotgun a Twisted Tea,but I've seen it. I seen it, I
hate it. Don't wanna ever see itagain. It's not even carbonated.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Who shotguns? Who well, twisted tea.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
My niece and her boyfriend Oh. Shotgun the
twisted tea, and they call themTweez or some shit. Here's the
thing now. Shortened.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
I don't like it. If you're gonna drink tea with
booze, there's way better waysto do it because twisted Tea's
got a weird
Speaker 4 (31:08):
But it's not carbonated. There's no effect of
the shotgun. There's no need
Speaker 5 (31:12):
to shut it.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
You can just drink it down, like, from the hole.
Speaker 6 (31:15):
There's nothing impressive about it.
Speaker 5 (31:17):
No. It doesn't. That was the, like, that was the
reason you would shotgun a beeris because it's carbonated. So
you had to, like,
Speaker 4 (31:22):
wait and eat their mouths.
Speaker 6 (31:23):
Thing, but now I totally see what you're saying.
That that did make
Speaker 5 (31:26):
so shotgunning Twisted Tea's.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Man, I was so I'm still so mad about this. Like,
learn how to drink. But, yeah,like, this kid is not coming to
the pro like, the July 4, MillerBeach is pro. It's an all star
game.
Speaker 6 (31:39):
But maybe but that's the thing is,
Speaker 5 (31:41):
like this yeah. This kid, up up in the fourth inning,
Randy Johnson's got a no hairgoing.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Here he goes. For tequila on top of the vodka at
eleven in the morning. It's 95degrees in Miller Beach.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Well, that was one of
Speaker 4 (31:52):
the first comments made is
Speaker 5 (31:53):
like, this is and I think you might have said it
like, this is a all star, like,hall of fame level day. Like,
you can't be bringing thatamateur bullshit.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
No. You gotta know your limits. You gotta start
maybe with some water, you know,maybe even wait till the
fireworks start to get
Speaker 5 (32:08):
Even even the pros, even weed, switch out, bring
water, like, you can't do
Speaker 4 (32:14):
was the of doing like mostly water, but a little bit
of vodka lemonade, but mostlike, it was pretty watered down
is what I did.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
And you gotta spend some yeah, gotta cool down. Some
keys. So to become a betterbeach drinker.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
To become a better Miller Beach Always
Speaker 5 (32:31):
keep your core temperature down. So if you're
at the beach and you aredrinking, once in a while, just
go in the water, sink down, getthe neck level, let the cold
water get your head under
Speaker 4 (32:42):
your body.
Speaker 6 (32:43):
Touch base with your body.
Speaker 5 (32:44):
Well, don't don't touch your base with your body
too much because that's illegalgoing on, unless you have a fuck
shed. If you have a portablefuck shed, then you can do all
you want.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
There were no fuck sheds on the beach this year.
Speaker 5 (32:55):
There were fuck tents that no one took down at
nighttime, which made no fuckingsense.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
So last year, there was this, like, I don't know if
it was like a changing stationor whatever, but it looked like
there were people going in thereand fucking. It was like a
little tent or shed
Speaker 5 (33:10):
or whatever. It looked like a portable outhouse.
Yeah. That was weird.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
But no no sight of those this year. Okay. No boats.
Not really a lot of boats. Thatwas nice.
No. The the cops actually did areally good job, like
Speaker 6 (33:24):
Yeah. Good.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
Clearing the beach where they were doing the
fireworks and clearing out theboats. No like, not 50 different
speakers. Although,
Speaker 3 (33:33):
there was
Speaker 4 (33:34):
one of our neighbors trying to even though there was
a huge sound system, he's reallyproud of his music and it's like
a menagerie of trash, like likefucking country and hip hop and
like zero taste.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Checked out. Yeah. Whatever. Reggae. It was an
interesting mix.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
And, you know, he was trying to get it going, but at
some point, someone was like,shut your fucking speaker off.
Speaker 6 (34:02):
Yeah. No.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
And yeah. Like, so that I don't under I'll never
understand. Like, why do peoplewant other people to hear their
music?
Speaker 6 (34:13):
The I'm the complete opposite. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (34:15):
That you want everyone to hear your music?
Speaker 6 (34:17):
I don't. Like like
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Oh, yeah. So when I walked down and I heard music,
I'm like, there's already somefucking boater asshole down
there blaring, and then I
Speaker 4 (34:25):
walked down, I'm like, oh, no. It's just the
Speaker 5 (34:27):
one they're gonna use for the show later, I guess.
But, yeah, like, to me, like, wecan all listen to our own music.
You don't have to blare it
Speaker 6 (34:34):
for everyone bad music than to music.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Oh, yeah. By yeah. What hearing, like, good music
drowned Yeah. Out with
Speaker 4 (34:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (34:44):
Not. Yeah. It's not good.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
It's annoying. Like, I didn't come down
Speaker 5 (34:47):
here to listen to your bullshit, or your bullshit
music. So But, yeah, thefireworks were decent.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
There were some big lags in
Speaker 5 (34:55):
the show, which was kinda weird.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
So so yeah. The fireworks, I had went into Jose,
thank you for the fireworks.Great job. Appreciate it.
Speaker 6 (35:06):
Does he set them off?
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Yes. I don't I think he set them off this year, which
good thing he didn't blowanything off. I mean, or, like,
any limbs or anything because hecan't afford to lose, like, any
height. Well, I mean
Speaker 5 (35:19):
well, even if he blows his legs off, he's only
gonna be, like, two inchesshorter. I mean, he's he's not a
tall man.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
But he did a it it was a well organized. I think
part of the problem with thefireworks were that, so I went
in, I saw them in the garagethere Mhmm. Before they set them
off.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
That's cool.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
And the fireworks on the box said, Trump is your
president. And then In caseanyone underneath it, it said,
made in China. So, like, it wasvery it was very Jerry's got
That was what the fireworksnamed were named. Trump is your
president.
Speaker 6 (35:57):
That's funny.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Yeah. Right? Like, what the fuck, man? Is that
Speaker 6 (36:00):
ironic, or is that like a That's
Speaker 4 (36:03):
kind It's kind of
Speaker 5 (36:04):
Like, we all know that the fireworks come from
China, but
Speaker 4 (36:07):
it's just kinda funny that Trump Trump is your
president. Like, duh. Like, isthat just a I slick marketing
Speaker 5 (36:14):
think
Speaker 6 (36:15):
it's cute. I think it's cute.
Speaker 5 (36:16):
Well, I mean, if you're trying to sell fireworks,
that's gonna that's gonna
Speaker 4 (36:20):
be the market. MAGA is your target market for
fireworks for sure because I amnot.
Speaker 6 (36:25):
I'm taking the complete opposite take. Like,
Trump is your it's like a it'sfunny. It's like,
Speaker 4 (36:32):
Yeah. And they did blow up, like, out of his face
too. So, like, it completely
Speaker 6 (36:37):
not wait.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
No. It had his mouth, and then it had, like, a tube.
Speaker 5 (36:41):
So it's like a blow up to all of the Yeah.
Speaker 6 (36:42):
I didn't that. You didn't see that.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Yeah. Like, it had a picture of him on the actual
fireworks, and then they cameout of his mouth.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
Do you have a picture of that?
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Well Somewhere. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
We do. We will post it
Speaker 4 (36:54):
to We'll put it in the show notes.
Speaker 5 (36:56):
And we'll put it on the show notes or our Instagram.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah. So like, just like blew out of his mouth. And
I think he had some super coolones that I've never seen before
that like shot horizontally overthe water and then went up.
Speaker 5 (37:12):
So
Speaker 4 (37:12):
They were they were amazing. And they look like
fireballs landed in the lake. SoDefinitely pollution.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
There were
Speaker 6 (37:19):
Drunk people putting these off, it makes me sad.
Speaker 5 (37:21):
Well, worried me because there were people in the
water when he lit that water.Yeah. And I wanted to, like
Speaker 4 (37:25):
And there's these huge fireballs falling into the
lake. They were like on fire. Solike, it was crazy.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
Like, it looked like an accident at first, and then
you see like all of a sudden
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Yeah. They like went up like missiles. They went
horizontal, and then they wentup, and then they fell down as
balls of fire.
Speaker 6 (37:41):
They should do a barge next year.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Firework barge?
Speaker 5 (37:44):
That's not what professionals do it. It costs a
lot of money.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Well, no. You can just you can
Speaker 4 (37:48):
just I mean, we just got buoys in, and it's almost
the July. I
Speaker 5 (37:51):
used to say like
Speaker 6 (37:52):
could find someone with a boat, and you could like
Speaker 5 (37:55):
Do you have access to a barge? No. More expensive than
you think.
Speaker 6 (38:00):
Sure it is.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
It probably takes a lot of gas.
Speaker 5 (38:03):
Not well, you gotta push the thing. I mean, the
barge itself doesn't. It's justa big giant water couch.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
So they were good. So there were some going straight
out into the water.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
They were just the one. It was just the one shotty.
Yeah. There were but there wasfireworks all the way up and
down the beach. So it wasn'tjust our group.
It was another group. Then youcould see Ogden Dunes, they were
doing theirs. I mean, had we nothad the Ivy Ivan situation, it
probably would have been a lotmore like patriotic, I guess,
(38:33):
and fun, but
Speaker 4 (38:34):
I don't know about patriotic.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
I mean
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Maybe more like a funeral is what I thought. But
Speaker 5 (38:42):
but that was kind of fourth of July, and then I,
like, I saw the finale on theway in because I after the well,
I'm like, oh, they must be done.And then, like, I'm not turning
around at this point. Once Ihead up that beach with all my
shit, I am not turning around.
Speaker 6 (38:53):
Oh, okay. So that was my next question.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 6 (38:55):
When the fireworks start, is that like you're
sitting, watching, then youleave? Or like, what's the
Speaker 5 (39:03):
Or is I it like
Speaker 4 (39:04):
mean, I think it was kinda buggy.
Speaker 5 (39:06):
It was buggy. Like, the wind stops of the gnats were
kinda like, I was deep woodsoffed, and I'm like, didn't have
any more in me.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
I'm sure there were some lunatics that started fires
on the beach or
Speaker 5 (39:19):
was a bomb that I could verify because I saw a
fire already going. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:23):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
Someone almost caught the dune on fire, and the cops
like ended up putting it out.
Speaker 5 (39:30):
I didn't see that. Yeah. It was
Speaker 6 (39:33):
Was it beach fire?
Speaker 4 (39:34):
No. It like one of the fireworks up the beach
toward maybe Park. Oh,
Speaker 5 (39:41):
okay. Yeah. So you like
Speaker 4 (39:44):
Like, got two like, somebody launched one into the
dunes, they they ended upputting it out. But but, yeah,
there was probably beach fires,you know, because a lot of
people like to do that. Not me.I mean, it wasn't because even
me, I this is the first timeI've ever stayed down there the
whole for the whole time.
Speaker 5 (40:01):
Well, also, to speak about drinking professionals, we
started at 9AM, and it was ten.Like, that's a solid thirteen
hours of drinking. Like,
Speaker 4 (40:08):
I I couldn't find so by the time I came up, I could
not find the beach path. Sothat's how, like, dark it
Speaker 5 (40:16):
gets. Wow. Well, it
Speaker 4 (40:18):
was also I wasn't drunk, but
Speaker 5 (40:20):
it was It was clear, and I don't think there I think
it was a new moon.
Speaker 4 (40:22):
Yeah. I couldn't like, I couldn't see where the
beach path was, and I ended uplike following somebody else.
But Alright, folks. That's itfor today's episode of the
(40:54):
Miller morning madhouse. Bigthanks to our sponsors, So Cool
Shirts, where bad decisionsbecome great fashion.
Check them out for your nextquestionable t shirt. And don't
forget, I'll ingest trivia withJosh Scramble hosted at the
Marshall j Gardner Center. It'sthe only trivia night where the
(41:14):
questions are just asunpredictable as the answers.
Join us if you dare. And a shoutout to the Miller Community
Theater, also at the Marshall jGardner Center, where the local
stars shine bright.
Big thanks to the MBACD forhosting these awesome events and
making Miller Beach the place tobe. Thanks for hanging out with
(41:37):
us, Miller Beach. We will beback next Sunday, hopefully,
with a brand new episode. Thatis if we are not too hungover.
No promises, But stay cool, staycrazy, and keep supporting the
madhouse.
Catch you next time.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
All you guys do is just sit up
Speaker 2 (42:07):
there and talk about how fucking cool you are.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
Bam's a bam. What's a bam?
Speaker 5 (42:21):
Well, you wouldn't even know.
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Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.