October 24, 2025 • 36 mins
In this heartfelt episode of The Thriving Christian Artist Podcast, I talk with multi-talented creative Karen Bulbuk, whose artistic journey has spanned fine art, graphic design, music, photography, and more.
From her small-town Massachusetts roots to her current home in Michigan, Karen shares how her creativity has been a constant companion—even during seasons of caregiving, transition, and uncertainty.
We discuss the unique challenges of pursuing art alongside other life responsibilities, the powerful ways God has spoken to her about the purpose of her art, and how she’s learned to see creativity as a language for communicating His truth. Karen’s story will encourage any artist who’s felt “on the sidelines” to step back into their calling with renewed passion and vision.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How a diverse creative background can enrich your artistic voice
- Lessons from blending art with life’s changing seasons
- Why creativity is a language for communicating God’s truth
- Overcoming discouragement and finding encouragement in community
- The importance of aligning your art with God’s purpose
🌟 Favorite Quotes from This Episode:
“Art is like a language… once you learn it, you can communicate God’s truth to people through visual images.” — Karen Bulbuk
“So many artists tell me, ‘I was an artist… but then life happened,’ and yet God is still calling them back into that creative place.” — Matt Tommey
🌐 Connect with Karen Bulbuk: http://heartcreations.net
✅ Stay Connected & Grow as a Thriving Christian Artist:
- 📬 Subscribe to The Thriving Christian Artist Weekly: https://thrive.matttommeymentoring.com/tca-weekly
- 📚 Find My Best-Selling Books: https://www.matttommeymentoring.com/resources
- 🎓 Explore Artist Mentoring Programs: https://www.matttommeymentoring.com/mentoring
Find out more about The Created to Thrive Foundations Course
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Join thousands of Christian artists who are growing in faith, creativity, and purpose.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All over the world, artists are awakening.
Painters and potters, writersand weavers, poets and dancers
not chasing followers or fame,but sons and daughters called
for such a time as this,Transformed from the inside out,
creating with purpose,releasing the glory of God and
living in the power of thekingdom.
Right now, this is the ThrivingChristian Artist.
(00:21):
Well, hey, friends, welcomeback to the podcast.
Super glad that you're here.
You know so many artists that Imeet over the years have told
me Matt, I was an artist, I aman artist, but then this thing
in my life happened andeverything changed.
Maybe they became a caregiverfor a spouse or a family member.
You know a friend, a child, andlife just became different.
(00:44):
And my guest today, Karen,who's not only a member of our
mentoring program for a lot ofyears but just a great friend,
great artist.
She's got a lot of experiencein walking through this.
And, Karen, I'm so glad thatyou're here today because I just
believe God's going to use thisso powerfully.
So, welcome to the podcast, soglad you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Thank you so much, matt, and I really appreciate
the opportunity to be on here,and I just hope that whatever I
have to share will be anencouragement to some artists
out there maybe, who are feelingdiscouraged.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So yeah, yeah, absolutely so, for those folks
that are just kind of getting toknow, you tell everybody what
you do creatively, maybe whereyou are in the world, and then
we'll kind of jump into a littlebit of the backstory.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Are in the world and then we'll kind of jump into a
little bit of the backstory.
Well, I say my creative journeyhas been all over the map, both
literally and figuratively.
I've done a lot of differentthings and I've lived in
different places.
Currently I'm living inMichigan and I'm from a small
town in Massachusetts and I'vebeen a lot of other places.
But artistically I've been afine artist.
(01:49):
I've always loved to draw.
I've done graphite coloredpencil, pastels, I've done
watercolor painting and a littlebit of acrylic and more
recently I've done digitaldrawing and painting.
And I was also trained as agraphic designer and worked as a
graphic designer for a while.
(02:09):
And I also am a musician.
I play the flute and I play theguitar and I sing and I've been
on worship teams in variousplaces over the years and I've
also done nature photography forabout 20 years.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You're just one of those people that got extra,
karen.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I mean come on right, I know, well, you know, I
didn't realize until I becamepart of Created to Thrive that a
lot of artists are like that.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
They just have a lot of different areas that they're
involved in.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So it was kind of like, oh, there's other people
like that too.
That's'm not weird, right yeah,right, so, um, anyway, that's
those.
That's basically kind of whatI've done artistically.
I, I, um, I've made.
I did blank greeting cards andprints for a while, sold them.
I made some books and a videowith my nature photos and some
(03:02):
of that.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
So that's through the years that you always done your
art as a hobby, or part-time,or full-time, or how has that
that looked for you over theyears?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It's been well.
I started a business many yearsago and, um, I didn't have you.
I had no idea how to do it.
It was really a very expensivehobby.
It was not really a business,it was more of a hobby, but did
it part-time.
I did some portrait commissions.
So quite a few years ago I dida few portrait commissions and
(03:30):
that sort of thing and I triedto start more of an art business
but it never got off the ground.
So it's been kind of on theside and I've been one of those
people where I knew I was anartist and I even started out in
college as an art major and itwas in the early 70s and at that
time the philosophy in thesecular world regarding art was
(03:51):
just not something I could getinto.
I ended up dropping out of thatand ended up getting a BA in
psychology, and so I haven'treally pursued the art as a real
strong business, it's just beenalways kind of on the side.
But God's given me some strongwords about it, like he gave me
(04:17):
at one point, showed me that artis like a language that you can
communicate If you learn theskills of drawing and painting.
It's like learning the grammarand syntax of a language, and
once you learn it, you cancommunicate whatever you want.
And that way you couldcommunicate to people that you
didn't even know their language,but you could communicate the
(04:38):
truth, god's truth, to themthrough visual images.
And I was like wow, I reallywant to learn how to do that.
I didn't really know how to doit.
And then also at another time,he gave me a very specific word
this was about 20 years ago ormore about that I was going to
(04:59):
be used in a studio with art andmusic and playing the flute and
that people were going to bedrawn to me and that guy was
going to heal them and give backto them the art that had been
robbed from them and stolen fromthem and everything and that.
And that was like wow.
But again I was like I don'tknow how this is going to happen
.
It just kind of went on theback burner and I've had life
(05:22):
happened.
You know many times lifehappened.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, you know, and you know this because we talk to
each other just on our groupcalls and that kind of stuff
over the years.
But you, you hear people I thinka lot get so discouraged when
life happens and they think thatif they're not in a situation
where they're selling their artfull time or doing shows every
weekend or owning a gallery orsomething like that, that
(05:47):
somehow they're not a realartist, and that's one of the
things the enemy loves todiscourage people with.
But I mean you, as well asanybody, know that that's
absolutely not true.
I mean, I'm sure God's probablydone a lot of deep work in your
heart to get you to the placewhere, no matter what season I'm
in, uh what I, what I do, doesnot define who I am.
(06:09):
And so talk a little bit aboutthat process, cause I know that,
even though you've been anartist all these years, probably
expectations of how that woulduh look in your life and and the
outflow of that, maybe thetiming of things is is become
very different than than whatyou may have thought it would
years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, well, I, I mean , I went to.
I actually, um, I went to, Iwas part of YWAM with a mission
for several years and I wentthrough training schools and a
couple other schools and then Iwas in Hawaii and I was like I
(06:49):
really want to learn how to dothis.
What God told me you know,maybe they have a training
program here for that.
Well, they didn't.
So I was like, ok, god, well,do you want me to pray something
into existence?
And so I started praying andthey eventually had a school of
graphic design.
So I took that and worked ingraphics.
(07:10):
But that wasn't exactly what Iwanted.
And then my supervisor came tome and said they wanted to do,
um, a school of illustration.
So I was really excited aboutthat, like, yeah, I want to take
that.
And he, well, he wanted me tolead it.
And I'm like I want to lead it,I want to take it.
He said, well, you can.
He wanted me to lead it.
And I'm like I want to lead it,I want to take it.
He said, well, you can take ittoo.
And so I ended upadministrating the school not
(07:32):
teaching or anythingadministrating it and I was able
to participate some, but notfully.
But that led me to the point ofrealizing and feeling that the
Lord was calling me to leaveYWAM and go get more training in
art.
So I chose Art Center Collegeof Design in California and I
went there.
And very expensive, veryintense school.
(07:54):
I worked for a year, did a term, ran out of money, worked two
more years, did two more terms,ran out of money.
I was very good.
The training was very good, but,um, I just anyway.
And then that was when lifestarted happening.
Um, I ended up, um, becoming asingle mom to a teenage foster
(08:16):
daughter.
Um, not anything I planned.
I call it my unplannedspiritual pregnancy.
It was a very intense season,and then after that, I ended up
meeting.
Well, towards the end of that,I ended up meeting someone who
eventually became my husband,john, and we got married and he
(08:38):
was called to Romania and he isfull-blooded Romanian, and so we
ended up being part-timemissionaries to Romania for 10
years, like yo-yos, going backand forth every few months and
being in Romania.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Excuse me, I was going to say we have so many
commonalities because did youknow that I taught at the School
of Illustration at Kona?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I do.
I saw that you were doing thatand I was so excited.
I'm like, yes, that is so crazy.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And then I actually went to Romania.
Uh, what was this?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Probably four years ago five years ago we did a book
.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Uh, I spoke at several churches over there in
Romania and uh and uh flew intoBudapest and then drove over to
Romania.
How cool we could visit for along time on that, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
So, um you know, all this art stuff just was kind of
on the back burner, I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I did.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I was on the worship team there and I did a few
things while I was there, butyou know it was not a major
emphasis or anything.
I did some photography andstuff, but or anything, I did
some photography and stuff.
And then we ended up comingback to the US in 2010 because
my parents my dad had prostatecancer and he'd been caring for
(09:54):
my mom who had dementia and someother things going on, and so
we ended up moving in with themand taking care of them.
My dad passed away and I tookcare of my mom 24-7 at home for
three years and then, towardsthe end, well, I ended up having
to put her in a facility forthe last year, which was hard,
(10:15):
but at that point my husband,john, was actually starting to
show some signs of having somephysical issues and just a
little bit of cognitive declinestarting to go on.
He he robbed the cradle.
He's 19 and a half years olderthan I am, but anyway.
So shortly after my mom passedaway and we ended up moving here
(10:41):
to Michigan because most of hisfamily is here, and so we moved
here and he began.
He went into a you know, moreof a decline and it's been a
slow decline over all theseyears and for now, three.
Tomorrow will be three yearsand three months he's been on
(11:01):
hospice which is a really longtime, but he
went from very slowly.
He would have some sharperdeclines and then he'd kind of
come to a new normal and thenyou know, like that.
But he went from being a verystrong, healthy, active athletic
to where now he is totallybedridden, functionally,
(11:24):
basically like a quadriplegic.
He can't talk, he can't evennod his head or shake his head.
Really in communication he hasbeen doing a little bit more
that.
He had a downturn on Mother'sDay and since then he hasn't
really been able to talk orcommunicate and he has vascular
dementia.
And he knows who I am,thankfully.
(11:46):
But um but he, you know it stillhas the dementia and stuff.
So it's it's been quite aroller coaster to say the least
you know it's been a difficulttime, but that's kind of where
my life has gone.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So you know, I've just, I've watched you over the
years.
I've heard pieces and parts ofof your story and that sort of
thing and you are always filledwith with joy and faith and
you're like I'm just amazed, youknow, I'll see um, cause
sometimes like John will be on,I'll see John on the call, with
you, right there, you knowyou're sitting by his bed
listening and and that sort ofthing, and I and I get off and
(12:24):
I'm like Tanya, I'm like Godbless, karen, I'm like man.
You are just the fortitude andtenacity and perseverance that
God has worked in you and to beso joyful.
I mean I just think how manypeople would have given up or
just put their art and theircreativity to the side and
(12:44):
they're like, for whateverreason I just can't do this
right now Like I gotta, andnothing bad on that, it's just
like.
You know, some people just, butlike you in the middle of this,
it seems like your creativity,because you've not ever allowed
it to define who you are.
The Lord has been able to sortof reinvent that with you to
where that's now a real place ofsolace and joy and maybe outlet
(13:09):
for you in the middle of ofcaregiving.
So I guess, for all of thosepeople that may find themselves
out there with mom or dad or achild or a spouse that is going
through something like this andthey've maybe laid down their
creativity, we'd just love tolearn some of the things that
you've learned and are learning.
Because, guys, before westarted, karen's like I don't
(13:31):
want anybody to think that I'vegot it all together and I said,
no, none of us do.
It's like he's still working onme.
Right, we're all in process,but you've learned some things
along the way.
So I mean, just, however theLord leads you, we'd love to
hear some of those things.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Sure, yeah.
Well, you know, at thebeginning, especially when my
husband just before and when hewent on hospice, I kind of had
this attitude at first of I'mjust putting my life on hold and
I'm going to help him throughthis time and then I'll get back
to my life whenever, you knowWell, that can be appropriate if
it's going to be a couple ofweeks or a month or so.
And, um, and especially at thebeginning, when something like
(14:11):
that happens, it's justoverwhelming.
I mean, I had been in CTT for ayear and a half and then I
dropped out because I was like Ican't even do this right now
and I'm paying for something Ican't even use.
You know, so I did, I droppedout for like a year and a half
and then I ended up coming backa year and a half later, you
know.
But but I realized after, whenI realized that, you know, he's
(14:33):
apparently not going anywhereright away, so I need to learn
how to be a caregiver and havemy life as well.
And there there were severalthings that came into that.
You know, even before he wenton hospice, that he was starting
to need more and more of mytime and my attention, and I
(14:56):
admit that for a while I kind ofstruggled with feelings of
frustration and even resentmentabout that, because it's, like
you know, um, I say at thispoint, taking care of someone in
John's condition.
It's like trying to live twopeople's lives with one person's
time allotment.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Wow, not to mention energy and focus, and all that
right, right, yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So.
But when I before we moved toMichigan and he was already
starting to have some symptomsand a good friend of mine looked
me in the eye and she said helphim finish well, and that has
just become like my mantra and Irealized this is a sacred
(15:45):
privilege that God has given meto help him through this time of
transition, however long it maybe, but it's helping him to
transition from this life to thenext and I want to help him
finish well and it's a privilegeto do this.
And you know, jesus saidwhatever you do to the least of
these, you do to me.
So I think of it that way.
(16:07):
You know I'm serving the Lordand I say I would not do this
for money right now but I woulddo it for love, for love for the
.
Lord and love, love for John,you know, and so that's been
part of it.
And then I call it embracingthe season.
I had to embrace the season.
I had to let go of thatfeelings of frustration,
(16:29):
resentment, embrace it, say thisis.
I had to let go of thatfeelings of frustration,
resentment, embrace it, say thisis God's calling for me right
now and this is a season andit's a good season and he has a
reason and a purpose for it andyou know you helped me with.
you're talking about the joyfulspirit.
Well before I even joined CTT Iread at least part of I think
it was yeah, healing the Heart.
(16:53):
What's the artist?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Unlocking the Heart of the Artist.
Unlocking the Heart of theArtist.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
There you go and you talk about journaling gratitude
journaling I think so.
Well, I have journaled for manyyears and it was my prayer.
I would do it as a prayer to theLord, but a lot of it was just
like Lord, I'm this, I'm that, Idon't know, you know all my
issues going on and this is I'mhaving this problem and that
(17:20):
problem and whatever, and justpouring my heart out to the Lord
, which was good, but what Istarted doing after I read that
was like I went okay, before Istart doing that, I need to
write at least three things thatI'm grateful for in my journal.
And I started doing that everytime and at first it was hard.
(17:41):
It was like okay, thank you forthe sunshine today.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Lord, because my whole outlook.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Right, I mean I was just amazed at God is just doing
so many amazing things and somany times, even in the midst of
(18:15):
this situation.
I just find my heartoverflowing with joy at what
God's doing you know he's doneso much in so many things that
have been amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
So that's so cool.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm just blessed yeah .
Speaker 1 (18:28):
You know so many people, I think.
Think as artists, we can tendto think about our art from a
production standpoint, like I'mgetting ready for a show or I'm
trying to sell this or that orwhatever.
But I'd just be interested.
I think people would love toknow, like, how is your creative
process shifted?
Like, is it more for yourpersonal enjoyment now?
Um, and even, what does youknow?
(18:51):
Quote unquote studio time looklike, because I know that you
know you're.
It's not like I'm going to goout to the studio for six hours.
No, that's not a reality.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
You know Exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
So what does that look like for you that's wanting
to create on a regular basisbut but had the very real time
constraints of the season you'rein?
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Well, I had to definitely make some shifts.
I mean, like I said, I like todo watercolor and pastels and
stuff like that.
I mean I cannot go in thestudio and do that.
I couldn't leave him to go dothat.
But I had an iPad and an ApplePencil so I just started
(21:00):
experimenting with that andthey've really made an
incredible amount of progresswith that.
And I mean, drawing with anApple pencil on an iPad is
almost exactly like drawingpaper.
It's so responsive and it'sjust amazing.
So I just started doing digitalart and so my studio is wherever
I am with my iPad.
(21:23):
I can sit next to my husband anddraw or paint something, and
I've done portrait commissionssitting next to my husband and
I've also seen how.
I just decided like, okay, lord, I can't like go out and do
these things, like I don't evenget to go to church because, you
(21:45):
know, I don't want to asksomebody else to stay with him
so I can go.
So I watched the live streambut I thought, well, my flute
had been sitting there unused, Ihadn't been using my guitar
much.
So I decided, okay, lord, yougave me this word because when I
started going to CTT, itconvicted me I need to take this
seriously and do what I can.
There's things I can't do, butI'm going to do what I can do.
(22:06):
I can't spend five hours in thestudio, but I might spend 20
minutes.
I can't go be on a worship team, but I can play my flute along
with a live stream from mychurch and get my embouchure
back in shape with nobodylistening to me.
Our worship pastor has a worshiptime at his house, sometimes on
(22:29):
Sunday nights, several nights amonth, and I've been able to go
about once a month to that andhe lets me bring my flute and
play along with him, and that'sbeen a real blessing.
I got my guitar restrung.
I got my flute overhauled too,because it was in bad shape.
So I got my guitar restrung.
I got my flute overhauled too,because it was in bad shape, so
got my guitar restrung and ready.
And then the we have a seniorgroup in our church and they
(22:52):
decided to start doing a serviceat a rehab center that's real
close to our house, and so oneof the ladies who was in our
senior group said well, why, whydon't I stay with John, and
then Karen could go play theguitar for us?
So that's what we've been doing, and so once or twice a month
I'll do that.
There's another couple thatdoes it sometimes, but once or
(23:12):
twice a month I'll go to thisrehab center and lead the
singing for a church servicethere.
But I have a couple of neatstories about also how the art
and the music have ministered tome in the midst of this
situation.
Yeah, absolutely so my husbandended up going to the hospital
(23:37):
quite a lot.
His bladder doesn't functionproperly and he wouldn't get
UTIs and so I was in thehospital.
I went to the ER with him.
He had 103 degree fever andhe's lying on this gurney and if
you've been to ER I've beenthere a lot with other people
it's a minimum four or fivehours and often more.
(23:58):
So you're just sitting therewaiting for doctors to come and
test results and everything.
So I'm sitting there and I hadon my iPad I had my iPad with me
, no-transcript I set up aniPhone on my husband's bed, put
some praise music on it and thenI just took that thing out and
(24:22):
I started coloring it and I waslike I just felt so peaceful and
so calm and, you know, in themidst of this situation and it
was like, wow, this is cool youknow, it really helps.
cool, you know it's really helps.
And then I've also ended up.
I did one of one of theportrait commissions that I got,
(24:43):
which I am now doing on my iPad.
I was sitting next to him inthe ER and then in the hospital
and then in rehab, just workingon this portrait.
And um, but another um situationhappened just a few weeks ago,
maybe about four or five weeksago.
He had some fluid in his lungsand the nurse who had come was
(25:07):
you know asked the doctor to geta prescription for diuretic,
which he did, but it hadn't comeyet and that evening, as I was
getting him ready for bed, hewas really struggling to breathe
.
Ready for bed, he was reallystruggling to breathe and he was
having his whole chest andabdomen were just heaving, you
know, and I had oxygen on himcranked up, I was had the bed,
(25:28):
him sitting up in the bed, andhe was just and he's just
staring at me and of course hecan't talk, he can't communicate
to me, but he's just staring atme and you know like well, I
knew if I called hospice they'regoing to tell me to give him
morphine.
I had already talked to himabout that and he confirmed he
didn't want to be takingmorphine and I there is another
anti-anxiety med I could givehim, but I'm just not a real big
(25:50):
fan of meds, if, unless it'sabsolutely necessary.
So I said, okay, I'm going togo do something else.
So I went and got my guitar, Isat down and I started singing
some songs and then, after twoor three songs, I started
singing in the Spirit, which,singing in the Spirit, it's like
allowing the Holy Spirit topray through you, but in song,
(26:13):
and I didn't know what I wassinging or praying.
But I said the Holy Spiritknows better how to pray than I
do.
And so I just was praying andI'm just.
Our eyes were locked on eachother, you know, and I'm singing
.
I just sang nonstop for like anhour and I for a while there.
At the beginning I thoughtmaybe I'm just going to sing him
right into glory right now.
(26:36):
I thought, well, that would bea privilege.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
What a way to go.
Well, that didn't happen.
But and then I thought, well,that would be a privilege, what
a way to go right?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Well, that didn't happen.
And then I thought, well, maybeI can sing him to sleep.
Well, he didn't go to sleep.
But after just a few minutes ofsinging in the spirit, his
breathing started slowing down,started getting calmer and by
the time I finished he was calm,he was peaceful and he hadn't
(27:02):
fallen asleep.
But he was definitely calm andpeaceful, breathing at a normal
rate, and it was just like wow,you know, and a little while
later he did go to sleep and youknow, he was fine.
So that was just a really neatexperience.
It felt like a real holy moment,like the Holy Spirit was there
ministering through that.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Well, it's just such a beautiful example of allowing
God to use our yes and ourcreativity.
And not judging the outflow ofthat, but just saying Lord, in
this moment, this is all I'vegot to give.
I give this to you as my fishand loaves, right.
You're the one that's got totake this and just watch him use
it.
I just that's just so beautifuland I think for all of us, no
matter where we are in ourcreative journey, if we would
just allow the Lord to thefreedom of just saying take this
(27:51):
offering and use it however youwant to use it and I'm going to
see.
You know, sometimes we like toput our hands on the outcomes,
right?
And I think, if we I just hearthat, so much in you, I'm just.
I'm just, you know, I'm doingwhat I have time to do, I'm
doing what I can do in theseason that I'm in, and God's
using that not only to ministerto you, but minister to your
(28:11):
husband and even to others, andthat is that's living in the
kingdom.
I mean, that's just.
That's so beautiful.
Karen, I wonder what you wouldsay to somebody who's maybe
finds themselves in the samesort of situation that you're in
, and maybe they've, I don'tknow.
(28:31):
Just, with all the stuff,they've just felt like giving up
.
Maybe they have given up, orjust they push their creativity
to the side and just says well,it's just, it's not the time, I
can't figure out how to makethis work right now.
Or maybe they even feel guiltyfor wanting to do their
creativity you know whatevercreative expression because they
feel like they should be, youknow, focusing on the people
that need it the most aroundthem.
How would you encourage themtoday?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Right?
Well, you know, if God hasgiven you a dream, don't allow
circumstances or the enemy oranything else to destroy that
within you.
Just hold on to that andbelieve god.
It's like we do what we can doand we you always say that just
keep showing up and beingobedient and do what you can do
(29:15):
and, um, like you, you would sayyou know, learn how to pivot.
You have to learn how to pivot,you have to learn how to pivot.
It's like maybe you can't dowhat you did before, maybe you
can't do it the way you did itbefore, but instead of just
saying, oh, I can't do this, say, god, do you want me to do this
and, if so, how?
and what at this time and inthis season and you know
(29:38):
caregivers, it's always astruggle Like there's a balance
between being a caregiver andself-care, taking care of
yourself and if you don't takecare of yourself, then you're
not going to be able to takecare of the one that you love.
And I have to preach that tomyself because I know.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
All the time right.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, and sometimes I do kind of feel guilty about,
um, you know, taking time to dothings, but I know I need that
because if you're an artist,doing art, whatever or whatever
your creative outlet is, is partof self-care.
if you don't do that, youshrivel up and die inside yeah
and you become frustrated andyou become irritable and you
(30:20):
can't be the best for your lovedone.
And so taking the time to dothat is really vital, and there
are ways to do it that God canshow you.
And one important thing isdon't try to do it all by
yourself.
You can't do it all on your own.
(30:41):
First of all, of course, youneed the Lord and you need His
grace and you need His strengthand you need His wisdom.
But there's also other help outthere.
You need people, a team, asupport team around you, and if
you don't have that, naturallythere are ways to do that.
I am so blessed because John'sfamily they're not my biological
(31:02):
family, but they've been soloving and accepting of me and
so supportive and helpful.
I have a wonderful church,family, hospice staff, just have
a wonderful support group thathas helped me, and there's no
way I could have done thiswithout all of them.
And if you don't have that?
I know everyone's family isn'tlike that and you may not have
(31:26):
that kind of support, but thereis so much online now that you
can do.
There's a website calledAgeways and I believe it's in
several states I don't know ifit's in all the states, but they
have caregiver coaches actually, and I got a caregiver coach
several years ago that I wouldjust talk with on the phone.
(31:48):
There's different ways they canhelp you out, but she sent me
emails and information and wetalk on the phone and she has
helped me find ways to get somegrants for paying for respite
care, and so there are thingsout there, but you have to look
for it.
And I mean there's times andthere's days and, like I said,
(32:11):
especially at first, when it'sso overwhelming when you may not
be able to do anything, andthat's okay.
To learn, to give yourself gracein the midst of this situation
but eventually there, thereneeds to be a time when you do
take that time to and find a way, and find a support team and a
(32:33):
way to do it.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
And it.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
It just makes a huge difference.
It's kind of like when you goon the airplane and they say, if
the oxygen mask comes down, puton your own first before you
put on someone else.
And you have to do that.
You have to be able to takecare of yourself and do that.
Otherwise you'll just burn outand you won't be good for them
(32:57):
or yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
In fact.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
I had to learn that from my dad.
My dad was taking care of mymom for six years by himself and
he would not let anybody helphim because nobody would do
things the way he wanted themdone.
And I'm a lot like my dad.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
And he burned himself out.
He died four years before shedid, and so I'm trying to learn
from his mistake.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
That's right.
That's right.
Take it in the rhythm the Lordhas.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
So, yeah, it's just really important that you do
feed your soul and your spiritand do that.
And you know, one thing I endedup doing a friend mentioned it
to me and it has been so good.
I got this little spy camera.
I call it.
It's a security camera, just alittle security camera, and I
(33:51):
hitch it up.
It connects to the internet.
I have an app on my phone and Ican put that on John.
I can see him, I can hear himand I can even push a button and
speak to him.
When I'm out, I can go out on awalk, you know.
So I'm not because I felt likeI was on house arrest.
You know, this gives me anopportunity to go out for a walk
and be able to see him and hearhim and even talk to him while
(34:15):
I'm out.
And so I've been able to do somephoto walks, which for me is a
real life giving thing.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
So just making it work.
Making it work.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
I love it Well.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Karen, what a joy to have you on, and I know that
those that are in this situationor make be anticipating this
situation in their life.
I know they've gotten a lot ofencouragement from you today, so
I know folks may want to findout about your artwork and about
all that you're you're doingstill creatively.
So I know folks may want tofind out about your artwork and
about all that you're you'redoing still creatively.
So where's the best place theycan connect with you online?
Your website, maybe socialmedia?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Well, my website is art creations.
That's h?
E a r t c r e aO-N-S dot net.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
And I don't have actually a Facebook business
page at this point, just apersonal one.
But I do have a YouTube channel.
It's under Karen S Bullbook and, if you don't remember my
website name, if you searchKaren S Bullbook, it will come
up with my website, becausethere aren't too many of us,
(35:21):
although there is another oneclose by.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
How funny, that's great.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
My husband's daughter-in-law.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
So I call her the original Karen Bulbock.
That's right.
Well, karen, again, thank youso much.
What a joy to hear your storyand I know folks have been
really encouraged by it.
So thanks so much for being onthe show today.
Thank you, matt, I appreciatethe opportunity, god bless.
Hey, my friend, before you go,make sure that you're signed up
(35:50):
for the Thriving ChristianArtist Weekly.
It's my free newsletter, fullof spiritual encouragement,
creative inspiration andpractical tips to help you
thrive in everything that God'scalled you to do as an artist in
his kingdom.
Every issue is absolutely freeand it includes the latest
podcast episode, featured artistspotlights, a worship song of
the week and, again, tons oftips and encouragement and
inspiration for you to keep youinspired and encouraged in
(36:12):
everything that God's got foryou as an artist in the kingdom.
You can click the link righthere in the show notes to join
us, and it's a great way to stayconnected.
All right, love you.
Bye.
All over the world, artists are awakening.
Painters and potters, writersand weavers, poets and dancers
not chasing followers or fame,but sons and daughters called
for such a time as this,Transformed from the inside out,
creating with purpose,releasing the glory of God and
living in the power of thekingdom.
Right now, this is the ThrivingChristian Artist.
(00:21):
Well, hey, friends, welcomeback to the podcast.
Super glad that you're here.
You know so many artists that Imeet over the years have told
me Matt, I was an artist, I aman artist, but then this thing
in my life happened andeverything changed.
Maybe they became a caregiverfor a spouse or a family member.
You know a friend, a child, andlife just became different.
(00:44):
And my guest today, Karen,who's not only a member of our
mentoring program for a lot ofyears but just a great friend,
great artist.
She's got a lot of experiencein walking through this.
And, Karen, I'm so glad thatyou're here today because I just
believe God's going to use thisso powerfully.
So, welcome to the podcast, soglad you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Thank you so much, matt, and I really appreciate
the opportunity to be on here,and I just hope that whatever I
have to share will be anencouragement to some artists
out there maybe, who are feelingdiscouraged.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So yeah, yeah, absolutely so, for those folks
that are just kind of getting toknow, you tell everybody what
you do creatively, maybe whereyou are in the world, and then
we'll kind of jump into a littlebit of the backstory.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Are in the world and then we'll kind of jump into a
little bit of the backstory.
Well, I say my creative journeyhas been all over the map, both
literally and figuratively.
I've done a lot of differentthings and I've lived in
different places.
Currently I'm living inMichigan and I'm from a small
town in Massachusetts and I'vebeen a lot of other places.
But artistically I've been afine artist.
(01:49):
I've always loved to draw.
I've done graphite coloredpencil, pastels, I've done
watercolor painting and a littlebit of acrylic and more
recently I've done digitaldrawing and painting.
And I was also trained as agraphic designer and worked as a
graphic designer for a while.
(02:09):
And I also am a musician.
I play the flute and I play theguitar and I sing and I've been
on worship teams in variousplaces over the years and I've
also done nature photography forabout 20 years.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You're just one of those people that got extra,
karen.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I mean come on right, I know, well, you know, I
didn't realize until I becamepart of Created to Thrive that a
lot of artists are like that.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
They just have a lot of different areas that they're
involved in.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So it was kind of like, oh, there's other people
like that too.
That's'm not weird, right yeah,right, so, um, anyway, that's
those.
That's basically kind of whatI've done artistically.
I, I, um, I've made.
I did blank greeting cards andprints for a while, sold them.
I made some books and a videowith my nature photos and some
(03:02):
of that.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
So that's through the years that you always done your
art as a hobby, or part-time,or full-time, or how has that
that looked for you over theyears?
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It's been well.
I started a business many yearsago and, um, I didn't have you.
I had no idea how to do it.
It was really a very expensivehobby.
It was not really a business,it was more of a hobby, but did
it part-time.
I did some portrait commissions.
So quite a few years ago I dida few portrait commissions and
(03:30):
that sort of thing and I triedto start more of an art business
but it never got off the ground.
So it's been kind of on theside and I've been one of those
people where I knew I was anartist and I even started out in
college as an art major and itwas in the early 70s and at that
time the philosophy in thesecular world regarding art was
(03:51):
just not something I could getinto.
I ended up dropping out of thatand ended up getting a BA in
psychology, and so I haven'treally pursued the art as a real
strong business, it's just beenalways kind of on the side.
But God's given me some strongwords about it, like he gave me
(04:17):
at one point, showed me that artis like a language that you can
communicate If you learn theskills of drawing and painting.
It's like learning the grammarand syntax of a language, and
once you learn it, you cancommunicate whatever you want.
And that way you couldcommunicate to people that you
didn't even know their language,but you could communicate the
(04:38):
truth, god's truth, to themthrough visual images.
And I was like wow, I reallywant to learn how to do that.
I didn't really know how to doit.
And then also at another time,he gave me a very specific word
this was about 20 years ago ormore about that I was going to
(04:59):
be used in a studio with art andmusic and playing the flute and
that people were going to bedrawn to me and that guy was
going to heal them and give backto them the art that had been
robbed from them and stolen fromthem and everything and that.
And that was like wow.
But again I was like I don'tknow how this is going to happen
.
It just kind of went on theback burner and I've had life
(05:22):
happened.
You know many times lifehappened.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, you know, and you know this because we talk to
each other just on our groupcalls and that kind of stuff
over the years.
But you, you hear people I thinka lot get so discouraged when
life happens and they think thatif they're not in a situation
where they're selling their artfull time or doing shows every
weekend or owning a gallery orsomething like that, that
(05:47):
somehow they're not a realartist, and that's one of the
things the enemy loves todiscourage people with.
But I mean you, as well asanybody, know that that's
absolutely not true.
I mean, I'm sure God's probablydone a lot of deep work in your
heart to get you to the placewhere, no matter what season I'm
in, uh what I, what I do, doesnot define who I am.
(06:09):
And so talk a little bit aboutthat process, cause I know that,
even though you've been anartist all these years, probably
expectations of how that woulduh look in your life and and the
outflow of that, maybe thetiming of things is is become
very different than than whatyou may have thought it would
years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, well, I, I mean , I went to.
I actually, um, I went to, Iwas part of YWAM with a mission
for several years and I wentthrough training schools and a
couple other schools and then Iwas in Hawaii and I was like I
(06:49):
really want to learn how to dothis.
What God told me you know,maybe they have a training
program here for that.
Well, they didn't.
So I was like, ok, god, well,do you want me to pray something
into existence?
And so I started praying andthey eventually had a school of
graphic design.
So I took that and worked ingraphics.
(07:10):
But that wasn't exactly what Iwanted.
And then my supervisor came tome and said they wanted to do,
um, a school of illustration.
So I was really excited aboutthat, like, yeah, I want to take
that.
And he, well, he wanted me tolead it.
And I'm like I want to lead it,I want to take it.
He said, well, you can.
He wanted me to lead it.
And I'm like I want to lead it,I want to take it.
He said, well, you can take ittoo.
And so I ended upadministrating the school not
(07:32):
teaching or anythingadministrating it and I was able
to participate some, but notfully.
But that led me to the point ofrealizing and feeling that the
Lord was calling me to leaveYWAM and go get more training in
art.
So I chose Art Center Collegeof Design in California and I
went there.
And very expensive, veryintense school.
(07:54):
I worked for a year, did a term, ran out of money, worked two
more years, did two more terms,ran out of money.
I was very good.
The training was very good, but,um, I just anyway.
And then that was when lifestarted happening.
Um, I ended up, um, becoming asingle mom to a teenage foster
(08:16):
daughter.
Um, not anything I planned.
I call it my unplannedspiritual pregnancy.
It was a very intense season,and then after that, I ended up
meeting.
Well, towards the end of that,I ended up meeting someone who
eventually became my husband,john, and we got married and he
(08:38):
was called to Romania and he isfull-blooded Romanian, and so we
ended up being part-timemissionaries to Romania for 10
years, like yo-yos, going backand forth every few months and
being in Romania.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Excuse me, I was going to say we have so many
commonalities because did youknow that I taught at the School
of Illustration at Kona?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I do.
I saw that you were doing thatand I was so excited.
I'm like, yes, that is so crazy.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And then I actually went to Romania.
Uh, what was this?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Probably four years ago five years ago we did a book
.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Uh, I spoke at several churches over there in
Romania and uh and uh flew intoBudapest and then drove over to
Romania.
How cool we could visit for along time on that, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
So, um you know, all this art stuff just was kind of
on the back burner, I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I did.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I was on the worship team there and I did a few
things while I was there, butyou know it was not a major
emphasis or anything.
I did some photography andstuff, but or anything, I did
some photography and stuff.
And then we ended up comingback to the US in 2010 because
my parents my dad had prostatecancer and he'd been caring for
(09:54):
my mom who had dementia and someother things going on, and so
we ended up moving in with themand taking care of them.
My dad passed away and I tookcare of my mom 24-7 at home for
three years and then, towardsthe end, well, I ended up having
to put her in a facility forthe last year, which was hard,
(10:15):
but at that point my husband,john, was actually starting to
show some signs of having somephysical issues and just a
little bit of cognitive declinestarting to go on.
He he robbed the cradle.
He's 19 and a half years olderthan I am, but anyway.
So shortly after my mom passedaway and we ended up moving here
(10:41):
to Michigan because most of hisfamily is here, and so we moved
here and he began.
He went into a you know, moreof a decline and it's been a
slow decline over all theseyears and for now, three.
Tomorrow will be three yearsand three months he's been on
(11:01):
hospice which is a really longtime, but he
went from very slowly.
He would have some sharperdeclines and then he'd kind of
come to a new normal and thenyou know, like that.
But he went from being a verystrong, healthy, active athletic
to where now he is totallybedridden, functionally,
(11:24):
basically like a quadriplegic.
He can't talk, he can't evennod his head or shake his head.
Really in communication he hasbeen doing a little bit more
that.
He had a downturn on Mother'sDay and since then he hasn't
really been able to talk orcommunicate and he has vascular
dementia.
And he knows who I am,thankfully.
(11:46):
But um but he, you know it stillhas the dementia and stuff.
So it's it's been quite aroller coaster to say the least
you know it's been a difficulttime, but that's kind of where
my life has gone.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So you know, I've just, I've watched you over the
years.
I've heard pieces and parts ofof your story and that sort of
thing and you are always filledwith with joy and faith and
you're like I'm just amazed, youknow, I'll see um, cause
sometimes like John will be on,I'll see John on the call, with
you, right there, you knowyou're sitting by his bed
listening and and that sort ofthing, and I and I get off and
(12:24):
I'm like Tanya, I'm like Godbless, karen, I'm like man.
You are just the fortitude andtenacity and perseverance that
God has worked in you and to beso joyful.
I mean I just think how manypeople would have given up or
just put their art and theircreativity to the side and
(12:44):
they're like, for whateverreason I just can't do this
right now Like I gotta, andnothing bad on that, it's just
like.
You know, some people just, butlike you in the middle of this,
it seems like your creativity,because you've not ever allowed
it to define who you are.
The Lord has been able to sortof reinvent that with you to
where that's now a real place ofsolace and joy and maybe outlet
(13:09):
for you in the middle of ofcaregiving.
So I guess, for all of thosepeople that may find themselves
out there with mom or dad or achild or a spouse that is going
through something like this andthey've maybe laid down their
creativity, we'd just love tolearn some of the things that
you've learned and are learning.
Because, guys, before westarted, karen's like I don't
(13:31):
want anybody to think that I'vegot it all together and I said,
no, none of us do.
It's like he's still working onme.
Right, we're all in process,but you've learned some things
along the way.
So I mean, just, however theLord leads you, we'd love to
hear some of those things.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Sure, yeah.
Well, you know, at thebeginning, especially when my
husband just before and when hewent on hospice, I kind of had
this attitude at first of I'mjust putting my life on hold and
I'm going to help him throughthis time and then I'll get back
to my life whenever, you knowWell, that can be appropriate if
it's going to be a couple ofweeks or a month or so.
And, um, and especially at thebeginning, when something like
(14:11):
that happens, it's justoverwhelming.
I mean, I had been in CTT for ayear and a half and then I
dropped out because I was like Ican't even do this right now
and I'm paying for something Ican't even use.
You know, so I did, I droppedout for like a year and a half
and then I ended up coming backa year and a half later, you
know.
But but I realized after, whenI realized that, you know, he's
(14:33):
apparently not going anywhereright away, so I need to learn
how to be a caregiver and havemy life as well.
And there there were severalthings that came into that.
You know, even before he wenton hospice, that he was starting
to need more and more of mytime and my attention, and I
(14:56):
admit that for a while I kind ofstruggled with feelings of
frustration and even resentmentabout that, because it's, like
you know, um, I say at thispoint, taking care of someone in
John's condition.
It's like trying to live twopeople's lives with one person's
time allotment.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Wow, not to mention energy and focus, and all that
right, right, yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So.
But when I before we moved toMichigan and he was already
starting to have some symptomsand a good friend of mine looked
me in the eye and she said helphim finish well, and that has
just become like my mantra and Irealized this is a sacred
(15:45):
privilege that God has given meto help him through this time of
transition, however long it maybe, but it's helping him to
transition from this life to thenext and I want to help him
finish well and it's a privilegeto do this.
And you know, jesus saidwhatever you do to the least of
these, you do to me.
So I think of it that way.
(16:07):
You know I'm serving the Lordand I say I would not do this
for money right now but I woulddo it for love, for love for the
.
Lord and love, love for John,you know, and so that's been
part of it.
And then I call it embracingthe season.
I had to embrace the season.
I had to let go of thatfeelings of frustration,
(16:29):
resentment, embrace it, say thisis.
I had to let go of thatfeelings of frustration,
resentment, embrace it, say thisis God's calling for me right
now and this is a season andit's a good season and he has a
reason and a purpose for it andyou know you helped me with.
you're talking about the joyfulspirit.
Well before I even joined CTT Iread at least part of I think
it was yeah, healing the Heart.
(16:53):
What's the artist?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Unlocking the Heart of the Artist.
Unlocking the Heart of theArtist.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
There you go and you talk about journaling gratitude
journaling I think so.
Well, I have journaled for manyyears and it was my prayer.
I would do it as a prayer to theLord, but a lot of it was just
like Lord, I'm this, I'm that, Idon't know, you know all my
issues going on and this is I'mhaving this problem and that
(17:20):
problem and whatever, and justpouring my heart out to the Lord
, which was good, but what Istarted doing after I read that
was like I went okay, before Istart doing that, I need to
write at least three things thatI'm grateful for in my journal.
And I started doing that everytime and at first it was hard.
(17:41):
It was like okay, thank you forthe sunshine today.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Lord, because my whole outlook.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Right, I mean I was just amazed at God is just doing
so many amazing things and somany times, even in the midst of
(18:15):
this situation.
I just find my heartoverflowing with joy at what
God's doing you know he's doneso much in so many things that
have been amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
So that's so cool.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm just blessed yeah .
Speaker 1 (18:28):
You know so many people, I think.
Think as artists, we can tendto think about our art from a
production standpoint, like I'mgetting ready for a show or I'm
trying to sell this or that orwhatever.
But I'd just be interested.
I think people would love toknow, like, how is your creative
process shifted?
Like, is it more for yourpersonal enjoyment now?
Um, and even, what does youknow?
(18:51):
Quote unquote studio time looklike, because I know that you
know you're.
It's not like I'm going to goout to the studio for six hours.
No, that's not a reality.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
You know Exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
So what does that look like for you that's wanting
to create on a regular basisbut but had the very real time
constraints of the season you'rein?
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Well, I had to definitely make some shifts.
I mean, like I said, I like todo watercolor and pastels and
stuff like that.
I mean I cannot go in thestudio and do that.
I couldn't leave him to go dothat.
But I had an iPad and an ApplePencil so I just started
(21:00):
experimenting with that andthey've really made an
incredible amount of progresswith that.
And I mean, drawing with anApple pencil on an iPad is
almost exactly like drawingpaper.
It's so responsive and it'sjust amazing.
So I just started doing digitalart and so my studio is wherever
I am with my iPad.
(21:23):
I can sit next to my husband anddraw or paint something, and
I've done portrait commissionssitting next to my husband and
I've also seen how.
I just decided like, okay, lord, I can't like go out and do
these things, like I don't evenget to go to church because, you
(21:45):
know, I don't want to asksomebody else to stay with him
so I can go.
So I watched the live streambut I thought, well, my flute
had been sitting there unused, Ihadn't been using my guitar
much.
So I decided, okay, lord, yougave me this word because when I
started going to CTT, itconvicted me I need to take this
seriously and do what I can.
There's things I can't do, butI'm going to do what I can do.
(22:06):
I can't spend five hours in thestudio, but I might spend 20
minutes.
I can't go be on a worship team, but I can play my flute along
with a live stream from mychurch and get my embouchure
back in shape with nobodylistening to me.
Our worship pastor has a worshiptime at his house, sometimes on
(22:29):
Sunday nights, several nights amonth, and I've been able to go
about once a month to that andhe lets me bring my flute and
play along with him, and that'sbeen a real blessing.
I got my guitar restrung.
I got my flute overhauled too,because it was in bad shape.
So I got my guitar restrung.
I got my flute overhauled too,because it was in bad shape, so
got my guitar restrung and ready.
And then the we have a seniorgroup in our church and they
(22:52):
decided to start doing a serviceat a rehab center that's real
close to our house, and so oneof the ladies who was in our
senior group said well, why, whydon't I stay with John, and
then Karen could go play theguitar for us?
So that's what we've been doing, and so once or twice a month
I'll do that.
There's another couple thatdoes it sometimes, but once or
(23:12):
twice a month I'll go to thisrehab center and lead the
singing for a church servicethere.
But I have a couple of neatstories about also how the art
and the music have ministered tome in the midst of this
situation.
Yeah, absolutely so my husbandended up going to the hospital
(23:37):
quite a lot.
His bladder doesn't functionproperly and he wouldn't get
UTIs and so I was in thehospital.
I went to the ER with him.
He had 103 degree fever andhe's lying on this gurney and if
you've been to ER I've beenthere a lot with other people
it's a minimum four or fivehours and often more.
(23:58):
So you're just sitting therewaiting for doctors to come and
test results and everything.
So I'm sitting there and I hadon my iPad I had my iPad with me
, no-transcript I set up aniPhone on my husband's bed, put
some praise music on it and thenI just took that thing out and
(24:22):
I started coloring it and I waslike I just felt so peaceful and
so calm and, you know, in themidst of this situation and it
was like, wow, this is cool youknow, it really helps.
cool, you know it's really helps.
And then I've also ended up.
I did one of one of theportrait commissions that I got,
(24:43):
which I am now doing on my iPad.
I was sitting next to him inthe ER and then in the hospital
and then in rehab, just workingon this portrait.
And um, but another um situationhappened just a few weeks ago,
maybe about four or five weeksago.
He had some fluid in his lungsand the nurse who had come was
(25:07):
you know asked the doctor to geta prescription for diuretic,
which he did, but it hadn't comeyet and that evening, as I was
getting him ready for bed, hewas really struggling to breathe
.
Ready for bed, he was reallystruggling to breathe and he was
having his whole chest andabdomen were just heaving, you
know, and I had oxygen on himcranked up, I was had the bed,
(25:28):
him sitting up in the bed, andhe was just and he's just
staring at me and of course hecan't talk, he can't communicate
to me, but he's just staring atme and you know like well, I
knew if I called hospice they'regoing to tell me to give him
morphine.
I had already talked to himabout that and he confirmed he
didn't want to be takingmorphine and I there is another
anti-anxiety med I could givehim, but I'm just not a real big
(25:50):
fan of meds, if, unless it'sabsolutely necessary.
So I said, okay, I'm going togo do something else.
So I went and got my guitar, Isat down and I started singing
some songs and then, after twoor three songs, I started
singing in the Spirit, which,singing in the Spirit, it's like
allowing the Holy Spirit topray through you, but in song,
(26:13):
and I didn't know what I wassinging or praying.
But I said the Holy Spiritknows better how to pray than I
do.
And so I just was praying andI'm just.
Our eyes were locked on eachother, you know, and I'm singing
.
I just sang nonstop for like anhour and I for a while there.
At the beginning I thoughtmaybe I'm just going to sing him
right into glory right now.
(26:36):
I thought, well, that would bea privilege.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
What a way to go.
Well, that didn't happen.
But and then I thought, well,that would be a privilege, what
a way to go right?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Well, that didn't happen.
And then I thought, well, maybeI can sing him to sleep.
Well, he didn't go to sleep.
But after just a few minutes ofsinging in the spirit, his
breathing started slowing down,started getting calmer and by
the time I finished he was calm,he was peaceful and he hadn't
(27:02):
fallen asleep.
But he was definitely calm andpeaceful, breathing at a normal
rate, and it was just like wow,you know, and a little while
later he did go to sleep and youknow, he was fine.
So that was just a really neatexperience.
It felt like a real holy moment,like the Holy Spirit was there
ministering through that.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Well, it's just such a beautiful example of allowing
God to use our yes and ourcreativity.
And not judging the outflow ofthat, but just saying Lord, in
this moment, this is all I'vegot to give.
I give this to you as my fishand loaves, right.
You're the one that's got totake this and just watch him use
it.
I just that's just so beautifuland I think for all of us, no
matter where we are in ourcreative journey, if we would
just allow the Lord to thefreedom of just saying take this
(27:51):
offering and use it however youwant to use it and I'm going to
see.
You know, sometimes we like toput our hands on the outcomes,
right?
And I think, if we I just hearthat, so much in you, I'm just.
I'm just, you know, I'm doingwhat I have time to do, I'm
doing what I can do in theseason that I'm in, and God's
using that not only to ministerto you, but minister to your
(28:11):
husband and even to others, andthat is that's living in the
kingdom.
I mean, that's just.
That's so beautiful.
Karen, I wonder what you wouldsay to somebody who's maybe
finds themselves in the samesort of situation that you're in
, and maybe they've, I don'tknow.
(28:31):
Just, with all the stuff,they've just felt like giving up
.
Maybe they have given up, orjust they push their creativity
to the side and just says well,it's just, it's not the time, I
can't figure out how to makethis work right now.
Or maybe they even feel guiltyfor wanting to do their
creativity you know whatevercreative expression because they
feel like they should be, youknow, focusing on the people
that need it the most aroundthem.
How would you encourage themtoday?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Right?
Well, you know, if God hasgiven you a dream, don't allow
circumstances or the enemy oranything else to destroy that
within you.
Just hold on to that andbelieve god.
It's like we do what we can doand we you always say that just
keep showing up and beingobedient and do what you can do
(29:15):
and, um, like you, you would sayyou know, learn how to pivot.
You have to learn how to pivot,you have to learn how to pivot.
It's like maybe you can't dowhat you did before, maybe you
can't do it the way you did itbefore, but instead of just
saying, oh, I can't do this, say, god, do you want me to do this
and, if so, how?
and what at this time and inthis season and you know
(29:38):
caregivers, it's always astruggle Like there's a balance
between being a caregiver andself-care, taking care of
yourself and if you don't takecare of yourself, then you're
not going to be able to takecare of the one that you love.
And I have to preach that tomyself because I know.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
All the time right.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, and sometimes I do kind of feel guilty about,
um, you know, taking time to dothings, but I know I need that
because if you're an artist,doing art, whatever or whatever
your creative outlet is, is partof self-care.
if you don't do that, youshrivel up and die inside yeah
and you become frustrated andyou become irritable and you
(30:20):
can't be the best for your lovedone.
And so taking the time to dothat is really vital, and there
are ways to do it that God canshow you.
And one important thing isdon't try to do it all by
yourself.
You can't do it all on your own.
(30:41):
First of all, of course, youneed the Lord and you need His
grace and you need His strengthand you need His wisdom.
But there's also other help outthere.
You need people, a team, asupport team around you, and if
you don't have that, naturallythere are ways to do that.
I am so blessed because John'sfamily they're not my biological
(31:02):
family, but they've been soloving and accepting of me and
so supportive and helpful.
I have a wonderful church,family, hospice staff, just have
a wonderful support group thathas helped me, and there's no
way I could have done thiswithout all of them.
And if you don't have that?
I know everyone's family isn'tlike that and you may not have
(31:26):
that kind of support, but thereis so much online now that you
can do.
There's a website calledAgeways and I believe it's in
several states I don't know ifit's in all the states, but they
have caregiver coaches actually, and I got a caregiver coach
several years ago that I wouldjust talk with on the phone.
(31:48):
There's different ways they canhelp you out, but she sent me
emails and information and wetalk on the phone and she has
helped me find ways to get somegrants for paying for respite
care, and so there are thingsout there, but you have to look
for it.
And I mean there's times andthere's days and, like I said,
(32:11):
especially at first, when it'sso overwhelming when you may not
be able to do anything, andthat's okay.
To learn, to give yourself gracein the midst of this situation
but eventually there, thereneeds to be a time when you do
take that time to and find a way, and find a support team and a
(32:33):
way to do it.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
And it.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
It just makes a huge difference.
It's kind of like when you goon the airplane and they say, if
the oxygen mask comes down, puton your own first before you
put on someone else.
And you have to do that.
You have to be able to takecare of yourself and do that.
Otherwise you'll just burn outand you won't be good for them
(32:57):
or yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
In fact.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
I had to learn that from my dad.
My dad was taking care of mymom for six years by himself and
he would not let anybody helphim because nobody would do
things the way he wanted themdone.
And I'm a lot like my dad.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
And he burned himself out.
He died four years before shedid, and so I'm trying to learn
from his mistake.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
That's right.
That's right.
Take it in the rhythm the Lordhas.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
So, yeah, it's just really important that you do
feed your soul and your spiritand do that.
And you know, one thing I endedup doing a friend mentioned it
to me and it has been so good.
I got this little spy camera.
I call it.
It's a security camera, just alittle security camera, and I
(33:51):
hitch it up.
It connects to the internet.
I have an app on my phone and Ican put that on John.
I can see him, I can hear himand I can even push a button and
speak to him.
When I'm out, I can go out on awalk, you know.
So I'm not because I felt likeI was on house arrest.
You know, this gives me anopportunity to go out for a walk
and be able to see him and hearhim and even talk to him while
(34:15):
I'm out.
And so I've been able to do somephoto walks, which for me is a
real life giving thing.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
So just making it work.
Making it work.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
I love it Well.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Karen, what a joy to have you on, and I know that
those that are in this situationor make be anticipating this
situation in their life.
I know they've gotten a lot ofencouragement from you today, so
I know folks may want to findout about your artwork and about
all that you're you're doingstill creatively.
So I know folks may want tofind out about your artwork and
about all that you're you'redoing still creatively.
So where's the best place theycan connect with you online?
Your website, maybe socialmedia?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Well, my website is art creations.
That's h?
E a r t c r e aO-N-S dot net.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
And I don't have actually a Facebook business
page at this point, just apersonal one.
But I do have a YouTube channel.
It's under Karen S Bullbook and, if you don't remember my
website name, if you searchKaren S Bullbook, it will come
up with my website, becausethere aren't too many of us,
(35:21):
although there is another oneclose by.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
How funny, that's great.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
My husband's daughter-in-law.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
So I call her the original Karen Bulbock.
That's right.
Well, karen, again, thank youso much.
What a joy to hear your storyand I know folks have been
really encouraged by it.
So thanks so much for being onthe show today.
Thank you, matt, I appreciatethe opportunity, god bless.
Hey, my friend, before you go,make sure that you're signed up
(35:50):
for the Thriving ChristianArtist Weekly.
It's my free newsletter, fullof spiritual encouragement,
creative inspiration andpractical tips to help you
thrive in everything that God'scalled you to do as an artist in
his kingdom.
Every issue is absolutely freeand it includes the latest
podcast episode, featured artistspotlights, a worship song of
the week and, again, tons oftips and encouragement and
inspiration for you to keep youinspired and encouraged in
(36:12):
everything that God's got foryou as an artist in the kingdom.
You can click the link righthere in the show notes to join
us, and it's a great way to stayconnected.
All right, love you.
Bye.
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