What does it mean to be truly vulnerable? To show and be who you really are? These are the guiding questions for Episode 51 of VulnerABILITY, where host Marisa Donnelly welcomes Dan Munro, coach and author of The Naked Truth to talk about honesty and aligning with your true self. In a world so hell-bent on keeping secrets and running from pain, Dan is determined to break down barriers and help people see (and connect with) the core of themselves.
Highlights of the Episode:
[2:00] “The whole book is about revealing who you are – in a sense being ‘naked’ psychologically.”
[3:30] “When I say ‘nude’ or ‘vulnerable,’ I’m really talking about shamelessness – this revealing what you want to hide, revealing what you don’t think other people want to hear or see. It’s really important for us to reveal that stuff if we want to have high self-confidence, [and] if we want to show people who we really are.”
[4:15] “The only reason we would label [secrets].. the ‘worst,’ or ‘bad,’ or ‘wrong’ is because we’ve hidden them. It’s the nature of hiding things that turns it into shame.”
[4:50] “You know you’re shameless about something when it feels the same to talk about it as it does to talk about what you had for breakfast [or] what the weather is like today – that neutral emotional connect with it.”
[5:50] “We think that whatever we’re hiding is really big deal, but most people wouldn’t agree with us because they haven’t spent a lifetime hiding it.”
[6:50] “The more you are willing to talk about [your pain], the more you find healing… Bringing it to the open allows for healing and allows others to resonate with it as well, and say, ‘Oh, you know I’ve done something like that or I’ve gone through something like that, too. And now that you’ve talked about it openly, I have less shame. And now we’re healing together.”
[7:00] “People think a connection is based on good times… that’s not what deep connection is built on. Deep connection is based on revelation.”
[8:40] “That ‘not good enough’ story that plagues us – we create that by hiding things about ourselves. We’re the ones who decide something’s not good enough by keeping it a secret… See, if you share it, it must be good enough because it’s being shared.”
[10:05] “If you can’t fully acknowledge it and get rid of that underlying secret, how do you truly heal from it? Well, you don’t.”
[13:30] “I feel like people have stories that are worth sharing, and the more we can bring them to the light, the more we grow collectively.”
[13:45] “How do you really connect with people unless you’re willing to share where you’re coming from?… If we don’t challenge ourselves to share those things, we miss out on the depth of what life has to offer.”
[16:15] “Every time we pretend, other people see us do that. They think it’s the truth and that puts pressure on them to pretend even further themselves. And we kind of bounce off each other in this way.”
[18:10] “This is where our loneliness comes from. This is where pressure comes from. This is where not feeling good enough comes from. This is imposter syndrome, where you pretend to be strong than you actually are and then you feel like you have to live up to it. We’re doing all of this to ourselves by just the tiniest of white lies, just a little bit of hiding.”
[20:15] “We want to show our best selves, and while it’s okay to want to show our best selves, there’s the element of – What happens off the screen? And is that ever being acknowledged?”
[25:50] “You just let people polarize away from you with honesty.”
[26:15] “Ultimately, people-pleasing is the core of the issue. We’re raised to make other people feel good and comfortable. And we feel good and comfortable when we feel good and comfortable. And we have this constant pressure to never ruin that.”
[33:15] “What we can control is our behavior, including how honest we choose to be.”
[33:20] “Would you rather be positive or real? Because you’re going to have to choose between those two.”
[34:20] “We expect other people to be real with us, to share what’s really going.
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