October 2, 2025 • 26 mins
Brad Fixden’s “I’ve Been Able To Figure A Few Things Out So Let Brad Fixden Take The Wheel” Show hits the air. It’s about as weird as the title indicates. Another phrase that pays means two free tickets to “The Pitch.” Plus Mark Cargon is a news man who just makes up news on the fly. Sign up for a Backstage Pass and enjoy Hours of exclusive content, Phil's new podcast, Classic podcasts, Bobbie Dooley's podcasts, special live streaming events and shows, and oh so very much more…
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, it's Phil Henry on the streets of New York,
where I'm more comfortable than not, and that scares me.
But nonetheless, we are here in New York City, as
you know, until the oh the middle to the end
of November, as we are appearing in Tom alpers great
play The Pitch off Broadway at the Actors Temple Theater
on forty seventh Street. And guess what today we're giving
away another two tickets. We've got another pair of tickets
(00:22):
for roughly around the first week of our run. We begin,
as they say, a soft opening on October the ninth.
I learned that from my stepdaughter Catherine. Thank you Catherine
for that, the soft opening everynew Anyway, we're gonna give
away another couple of tickets to see the Pitch. We
would love it if you're able to get it to
the theater. You know that it being your rear end.
(00:43):
And what I mean by that is if you're in
the New York area, that's probably a good one, unless
if you're out there on American you plan on being
in New York for the dates mentioned. Hey, that's cool too,
so stick around. We're gonna be asking you to listen
for the phrase that pays today on the Phil Henry Show.
And when you hear that phrase, we want you to
send it along with your name, along with your email address,
(01:05):
and along with the city you're in, and the phrase
to service at Phil Hendryshow dot com. Stick around for
that one meantime, get a backstage pass to the world
famous Phil Henry Show website and enjoy thousands and thousands
of hours of our radio Hall of Fame show, our
great podcasts, the podcasts of Bobby Dooley, Elcott, The Next Step,
the Milwaukee Lions, and oh so very deeply much more.
(01:27):
We also have video casts. You can watch me performing
the show. We have home movies from the Henry family.
It's a very intimate and familial. In family, it's a war.
It's like sitting down to just baked bread and I
looking like my mother. Say I'm in a wig and
I look like my mom and I've just cooked the bread.
Never mind. It's the world famous Phil Hendriy. Good one Phil,
a world Famous Phil Henry Show. At Phil Henryshow dot com.
(01:49):
The greatest value online other than porn. Welcome to today's show.
Today's phrase that pays, Folks is the following and it
must be uttered by Brad fixed The phrase is Brad
Fixton is one gigantic asshole. When you hear that, be
sure to send it in at service at Phil Henryshow
(02:11):
dot com. Service at Phil Hendryshow dot com, along with
your name, the town you're in, your email address, and
of course the phrase itself, Brad Fixton is one gigantic asshole,
and it must be uttered by Brad Fixton himself. Hello,
this is Brad Fixton, and this is Brad Fixton has
got a couple of ideas about things that have heretofore
(02:36):
not been solved. And let's just let Brad take the wheel.
You know we're going to do that. How you doing, general,
I'm good, I just did a question. No, I'm gonna
take the wheel. I know you have questions. And Margaret
Gray is with us too, Margaret, Hello. And I think
mister Henry is what he is rehearsing. I Phil is
running his line, rehearsing his lines for the Play's gonna
(02:59):
be a yes. Well, I want to thank mister Henry
for allowing me to be on the air, but I
have to say it was a no brainer in my
opinion to let Brad Fixton, who's got a couple of
ideas on how things should go, and so let's let
Brad Fixton take the wheel. And that's the name of
the show and the reason I can almost anticipate your question.
(03:21):
You're mister Dickman, right, yes, and you sit and stare
at me like that. Why well, he's not staring at you.
Wait a minute. I'm Brad Fixton, and you've got a
couple of ideas about how things should go, and you
want to let Brad Fixton take the wheel, and I
won't let That's not what I said. It's nobody said
general all right. I The name of the show, as
(03:41):
approved by mister Henry before he went to do his rehearsal,
was I'm Brad Fixton, and this is Brad Fixton has
a couple of ideas on how things should go. So
let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Okay, yeah, fine,
I know it seems long. Now my second question is,
what's your name? I'm Bud Dickman, okay, And you're supposed
(04:02):
to sit there and stare at me like that. You're
sitting about you're in a tiny little stool, and he's
staring up at you, and you're staring up at me. Yeah,
that's generally what mister Henry will have me do with
a lot of a lot of the hosts. I don't
know what's the problem, Brad, what's the problem, Brad? I'm
already I already feel like I'm in hostile territory. Brad,
this is not the way it's done here in the
(04:23):
Phil Henry Show. I'm Brad fixed in and yes, but
Brad Fixton has got a couple of ideas and how
the way, how a thing on how the things should go,
And let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. That's the
name of the show. So I don't want to spend
a whole lot of time talking. We're already rolling right, yes, sir,
we are okay? And are you the engineer? Yes, sir,
I am. Then why why aren't you playing with the
(04:46):
knobs and everything instead of sitting there on that milk
but looks like a milking stool staring up at me
like you're a bad like you're almost a bad elf. No, sir,
I'm just here. This is where mister Henry generally tells
me to be so I can get I can have
access to the controls, you know, the technical control as
well as be a part of the show. Yeh, that's seen.
He's got the microphone. Well why is he sitting in
(05:07):
that little stool because you can see there's all kinds
of there's all kinds of processing equipment down here. Oh
I oh, okay, I see that. Yeah, so I have
to be near the processing equipment as well as the broadcast.
Loves the control board for the audio as well as
a microphone. Okay, it just it was a bit disquieting
to look down and I see you staring up at
(05:27):
me like it's like you're in It's like you're in
an imp or some evil imp that lives under the
of the bed. I don't know. Yeah, whatever, whatever, Brad,
go ahead, And what does that mean? What just do?
Brad fixed in has got a couple of ideas about things,
and so let's let Brad take the wheel. Go ahead,
(05:49):
all right? Who's doing the announcing? I am are you ready? Yes?
I am Hello everyone, and welcome to the streets of
New York. I'm Margaret Gray, I'm General Helen Shaw, and
I'm Bud Dickman. And this is Brad Fixton has a
couple of ideas on how things should go. So let's
let Brad Fixton take the wheel with your host, Brad Fixton.
(06:10):
Thank you very much, Margaret Gray. I am Brad fixed
in and I've had a lot of different ideas on
how things should go. So guess what it's about time
we let Brad Fixton take the take the wheel. And
when I say take the wheel, what does that mean?
It could mean that you're still sitting shotgun. But I
sort of pushed you out of the way and I said,
let me have the wheel, and I've moved into the
driver's seat and I've moved you over to the shotgun
(06:34):
and you can sit there and just think about how
you weren't doing such a great job. Who's hanking that horn?
That's just doing We're doing this live as you know,
I know it just that's New York. Yeah. Uh so
they let me roll beck. You're going to edit all
this out, yes, sir, Brad Fixton, Welcome to Brad Fixton
(06:55):
has a couple of ideas on how things should go,
and so let's let Brad Fixton and no other take
the Wheel. That's it. That's the part. That's the part
you were missing. Huh, that's the part I was missing. Yeah.
I want to thank Phil Henry for letting me come
in and bring the Brad Fixton solutions to his podcast
as well as to all the listeners around the world. Now,
(07:15):
before we get going with, Brad Fixton has a couple
of ideas on how life should go. So let's let
Brad Fixton takes the weak. God, I messed the name up. Well,
the name is it's general, isn't it. No, it's very specific.
Brad Fixton has a couple of ideas on how life
should go. So let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Okay,
that's the name of the show. And it was not
(07:37):
too long ago, and I had I had a lot
of concepts. I was working for the Modane Corporation. This
was a broadcast corporation, and they had promised me my
own podcast, my own radio show. At one point they
wanted me to do a half an hour of television
for Modane broadcasting across the Tri state area. And when
(07:58):
I asked him what states those were, they wouldn't answer me.
I said, well, what Tri State area And I said wall,
he said I would. They said, that's study your business,
until finally I said I demand to know, and they
came back with this and you can edit this out,
but they came back with a note that said Brad
Fixton is one gigantic asshole. And I said, you know what,
(08:19):
I quit. That's the day I quit, and that's the
day that Oh man, this is Brad Fixton has got
a couple of ideas on how things should go. So
let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Brought to you
by the world famous Phil Henry Show Backstage Pass. Get
a subscription today and listen to the thousands of hours
(08:39):
of what it is what mister Henry does on his website. Yes,
the Phil Henry Show Backstage Pass. It's worth every nickel.
Get it today at philhinbyshow dot com, the greatest value
online other than Porton. Welcome back here to Brad Fixton
has a couple of ideas and how things should go,
and so let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Now,
(09:00):
I just butchered the name of that up again brand.
You know you're gonna have to write it down I'm
not gonna write it down. I know the name of
my own show. Something that I've been thinking a lot
about is how we can get into the day with
a positive mindset and at the same time practically apply
good things physically as well as to our work environment.
(09:21):
What do I mean by that? You know, we get
into the car and we drive to work. We're listening
to podcasts, we're listening to newscasts, and much of this
stuff is very depressing. It's just got us kind of
bumming out, you know, as we used to say back
in the day. You know, I'm just I'm all bummed out.
You remember those days, Margaret, Yes, I do. I remember
just people saying that's a bummer. Yeah, they say that's
(09:43):
a bummer, But I remember them saying I'm all bummed out, right,
And we used to joke around until I took that seriously.
We used to say, well, he's all bummed out. That
means he's got his pants down. You know, what does
it mean? What does it mean? It means if you're
all if you're bummed out. Oh, I gets yet it. Yeah, yeah,
he's all Oh look at Charlie, he's bummed out. His
pants are down. And he's sticking his bum out. But
(10:06):
when I started to get serious about life, I said,
you know, I'm all bummed out that man. I was
just not having a good life. How do we take
life by the horns early in the morning and just
go for it? Okay, Well apply the Brad fixed in concept,
and that is Brad Fixton has got a couple of
ideas on how things should go. So let's let Brad
(10:28):
Fixton take the wheel. And what I want you to
do is I want you to when you're having a
problem in life, say I'm gonna let Brad Fixton take
the wheel. And here's what you do. Running and singing
on your way to work takes your mind off of
the commute problem. It takes your mind even off of
(10:51):
the physical stress of running. What it does is it
tells you it feels good to run. I'm happy that
i'm running, I'm happy I'm going to work, and I'm singing.
You're running, you're singing. You're fully clothed for your day
at work. You may have a backpack on, maybe you
even have on a suit. But as you run, sing
a great and favorite song, like my favorite song. Did
(11:14):
you do this coming over here. Well, I'm staying with
an autum mind in Queen's and I took an uber
over here. Well, why didn't you you run and sing?
I didn't run and sing. Brad Fixton has got a
couple of ideas on how things should work out. So
let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. All right. Sorry, yeah,
I'm jeez, I'm digging the wheel now. To answer your question, though,
(11:36):
it was a long way, Okay, it was going to
be a good hour and a half if I walked it.
Even if I ran, it'd be about an hour, maybe
an hour and a half from Queen's on over to here.
So but if you just if you're got a regular
job and you don't you know, okay, maybe you've got
the hour to burn. I don't not today. Usually run
(11:57):
I would be running and singing my favorite song, who
let the Dogs Out? Bark bark, bark barker, Who let
the dogs out? Bark bark bark, Who let the Dogs Out?
That's the hip hop song. Yes, sometimes I'll just sing
something like this, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you, Brad, Happy birthday to you. Oh
(12:19):
you know, like that or I'll sing you know, Santa
Clauses come into town. Any song that makes me feel good,
and I'm running, I'm singing, I'm running, I'm singing. I'm running,
I'm singing. And by the time you get to work,
by the time I get to work, I forgot that
I'm you know, tired, and I forgot that I'm actually
soaked in sweat. And if you bring along some under
armed de orderant and you're you're ready to go, okay,
(12:40):
you spray a little bit down where you need to
up under the arm pitch, and you're ready to rock
and roll there in the in the in the in
the in the in the in the in the in
the in the in the thing you all right, yeah,
I don't in the Can you edit this? Yeah? Edit together,
I'll edit the first in you to the last one
in in. I forget what I'm saying. Well, you're you're
you're feeling good because you're saying your favorite song. If
(13:00):
I'm feeling good because I've fan if I fanned on
my favorites, I didn't fan on it, that's striking out
in baseball. I know that I'm feeling good because I
sang my favorite song, and I ran and I didn't
feel tired at all. You see this is what I mean.
Run and sing. You get to work, maybe about thirty
minutes longer than it would take you, but you're happy.
(13:22):
You just got a good little bit of fitness at
training in, You got a little exercise in, and you
have found a whole new way to get into the
day fully ready to go. See this is Let Brad
Fixton take the wheel. Okay, let Brad Fixton take the wheel.
Write Brad for his brochure on how to make Life
(13:44):
more gooder. Brad Fixton has got a couple of ideas
and how things should go. So let Brad Fixton take
the wheel.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Hello, I'm Agnus Jimmy Man, and I got a hold
of Brad Fixton's book. Brad Fixton has a couple of
ideas and how life should go. So let Brad Fixton
take the wheel. And I let Brad take the wheel
of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
And while it careened into what Brad calls a ditch
of self examination, I was able to climb out of
the destroyed car of bad decisions, climb up the mountain
side of recovery and now I'm hitchhiking down the highway
of success. That's what I wanted to say. Brad Fixton's
(14:25):
got a couple of ideas on how things should go.
So let Brad Fixton take the wheel for a while,
send away for his brochure today. This is Brad Fixton,
and welcome back to Brad Fixton's got a couple of ideas.
We'll I get a few more minutes because then I
have to give way to my friend Mark Cargan and
the Mark Cargan's News Hour. And waiting to hear Mark Cargan.
(14:46):
He's going to be on the Brad Fixton Network. So
we're going to have Brad Fixton teaching you how to
get into the day happily. And then we have the
Mark Cargan News Hour. Mark Cargan's News is completely invented,
but we think it's news that's going to happen that day.
That's why we do the Mark Cargan. Waitill you hear
and it's really great. Wait a minute, it's hold on
(15:08):
for a minute. No, it's he makes it up. He
makes the news up. Yes, Mark Cargan makes up. It's
called the Mark Cargan News Hour. Do you have to
sit there in that milking stool staring at me? Yes, sir,
I do. It's unfortunate, It's an unfortunate thing, but I do.
Jesus Christ, this has been Brad Fixton has got a
couple of ideas on how things should go. So let's
let Brad Fixton take the wheel for a while. On
(15:31):
the World Famous Phil Henry Show website. Shit hell our one,
this is General Galen Shawn. Listen. The backstage pass to
the world Famous Phil Henry Show is the smartest way
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(15:53):
Phil's show. You have another foot in the present as
Phil muddles his way through life. Now he's in a
play in New York's and you have one foot in
the future. What weird concepts, strange ideas, and new beginnings
will come forth from the Phil Henry Show. Yeah, yeah,
it's yeah. Ah man, take it easy. Get a backstage
(16:15):
pass to the Phil Henry Show. A subscription is less
than ten dollars for one month, less than seven dollars
a month for the year. Phil Henry has not raised
the price on his backstage pass for thirteen years. Sounds
like you don't like that. I don't know. Thirteen years,
mister Henry has not raised the price and he's not
going to raise it now. He spoke with me about
(16:36):
it just earlier before he went off to memorize his
lines for this play, and he said, no, no, no, no,
I will not bullshit the world famous Phil Henry Show
at Phil Hendryshow dot Com, the greatest value online other
than porn. You're listening to the Phil Henry Show.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
It's time for Mark Cargan, Mark Cargan's new I'm Mark
Cargan and welcome to Mark Corgan's News Hour as part
of the Brad Fixton. Brad Fixton's got a few ideas
and how things should go, So let's let Brad Fixton
take the wheel for a while. Network. The Mark Cargan
News Hour is brought to you by Phil Henryshow dot Com.
(17:19):
And I'm sure it's a great, great product. I have
not heard Phil Henry. What I have heard about Phil Henry.
Some of it's good. Some of it's bad, but we're
very happy to have him as a sponsor. Now, let's
take a look at the news in Czechoslovakia people had
In Czechoslovakia, people put on shorts and those shoes with
(17:39):
the buckles and slap dance their way all through the
day today. They did it as a way of saying,
we're going to be happy regardless of the world's condition.
The slap dancing in Czechoslovakia then spilled over into Germany
and Austria, and there was a full slap dance happening
throughout the day. In San Francis, let's go California, gay
(18:01):
people decided that they just as soon have sex with
members of the opposite sex. Just spontaneously decided it. It
didn't mean that they weren't gay, but it meant that
let's just give it a try. Let's go ahead and
see how it feels. So all the gay people in
San Francisco decided to have sex with people of the
opposite sex.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
That happened. This is the Mark Cargan News. Mark Krgan
is reporting news that he hopes happens here. Well, don't
say that I'm contractually obligated. You're contractually obligated to do
what I tell you to do, or you're fired. I'm sorry,
I have to follow it. The Henry Show says, you're fired. Goodbye.
In other news, in the Mark Krgan World, the Russians
(18:44):
have decided that they want to give this democracy thing
one more try. Vladimir Putin said, let's do it. Let's
try this thing. I'll go ahead and sit in the
backseat for a while, and I'll see what business I
have to attend to. You go ahead and get this
democracy thing going on in Russia, and I won't bother you.
I'll just be in the back seat, you know, looking
(19:04):
at my day planner and seeing what phone calls I
have to return. I'm Vladimir Putin. I'm willing to give
this democracy thing a chance. In Washington, d C. Today,
President Trump released the Epstein files and guess what he
wasn't in them. Yeah, I'm Mark Cargan the Mark Cargan
News Hour. Mark Cargan Weather. The weather today, sunshine from
(19:27):
sun up until sundown. The temperature sitting at a seventy
five to eighty degree range, depending upon the part of
the country you're in. Light winds, no precipitation, to speak of,
and it'll be nice and dry with low humidity. It's
in other words, that's perfect weather. But you have to understand,
I'm also going to need to bring a hurricane and
some blizzards because perfect weather will drive you insane. It
(19:50):
will drive you mad with boredom. So you've got to
have a blizzard, maybe even a hurricane. So a blizzard
is coming and a hurricane too. Mark Cargan Sports In sports,
the Los Angeles Dodgers won, but they didn't win the
World Series. But they kept on winning games, so their
fans are happy not winning the World Series. The rest
of the people in America are happy too, because they
(20:12):
don't want to see the Dodgers win anything. Okay, the
winners of the World Series are the Chicago think about that.
I won't tell you just yet, but these guys will
win the World Series the Chicago dot dot dot. Yeah,
it could be. It could be the Chicago Cubs, could
be the White Sox, or it could be who knows,
(20:32):
there might be another team that we're not aware of
that made the playoffs. This is Mark yet, that's right,
Mark Corgan's world. Anything as possible. Now I'm Phil's here,
Phil Hi Mark. How are you Phil Henry Right, I'm
in the middle of Mark Cargan News. I think I
think we were going to edit this Bud right, Yes, sir,
I think we don't need to. I've been outside. I've
been doing lines. You've been outside doing lines. I don't
(20:56):
understand that. What cocaine? No, sir, I'm doing a play.
Oh oh, when you said you're sitting outside, but he
thought I was outside just doing rails of coke. Yeah,
that's what I thought. Well, thank you very much, Mark.
We're gonna take over from here, Mark Cargan. Well, I
got a whole lot more to do here. I mean
the Mark Cargan News Hour, I know, but thank you anyway. Okay,
(21:18):
so you're kicking me. I didn't see you kicking out
Brad Fixton or whatever the fuck his gay name is. Jeez,
I thought you worked for him. I'm not anymore. I don't, apparently,
I don't. Okay, I'm sorry that I was not here
for any of this. Well, it was pretty bad Brad Fixton,
and I heard let me take the wheel. It was
Brad Fixton's got a few ideas on how to fix
(21:39):
things or whatever. Yeah, and then he complained about me,
mister Henry. He said, I looked like a like an
evil dwarf or something sitting here on a milking stool. Well,
why are you sitting in a milking stool? Because I
got more access to the pressing processing equipment down here.
So you were staring up at him? Yeah, I was
staring up at him and he got creeped out and
he thought it was like some mad dwarf staring. It
(22:01):
wasn't anything, he was just this guy fixed in his
concentration's lousy. See. Oh, Brad coming in Hi. So you
didn't like it, huh not really, Brad? All right, Well
we had the secret phrase. Yeah, the secret phrase was
Brad Fixton is one gigantic asshole. I think it's what
it was, and it had to be uttered by Brad. Yes,
(22:22):
all right, I'm assuming we're gonna have a winner, and
congratulations to our winter yesterday. Tad Richards of New York City.
So people are asking me, well, how are you you know,
how are you living in New Yorkville? And well, Verbo,
So people are asking me, how are you living in
New York How are you eating? What do you eat?
(22:43):
You know, this kind of thing. I'm in midtown Manhattan.
I'm just down from Times Square, up from Times Square,
so something like that. I'm near Central Park on the
way to Central Park. See what else? And you know,
we're around the corner from just about everything. I mean radio,
you saw Radio City, Music Hall, and a lot of
really exciting things. Now, how am I, you know, going
(23:05):
about life? First of all, there's not exactly a lot
of supermarkets in Manhattan. There is a Whole Foods which
is down about three blocks. But mostly what I've been
doing is eating in restaurants and so it's like it's
a throwback to my bachelor days, you know, and I'm
having things like, you know, food that I ordinarily don't eat.
I mean I've been I've been pretty strictly vegan for
(23:25):
many years, but being in New York and sort of
having to, you know, go the native route, I've been
eating steak. You're kidding. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I've
had steak because you figure, you know, animal protein is
quite frankly the main source of get a load of
the lost. So this is going to be good. I
(23:47):
told you my chiropractor, Ralph Albee said, And Ralph was
like one of the most vegan guys. But he said
animal protein is the best protein for humans. Okay, so
you're rationalizing eating these poor animals. I'm not rationalizing an
I'm just I'm living the way they live in New York. Okay,
So I had a couple of stakes I've had. See
you had fish and chips too. I had fishing chips
(24:07):
today at this place called Roso Gradies. Is another restaurant
that I ate at that I told you guys about
called ted Montana's, which is just down the street. And
let's see what else. Well, you know, I was at
at the tap House across the street from my old place,
and I ate at the Peruvian Joint and you know
(24:27):
the Barking Dog. Now you haven't been to the Barking
Dog because you're far away from there. Yeah, I am.
Plus the fact that in moving to this new digs
and they're great, but I'm now eleven minutes. It's an
eleven minute walk between here and the theater on forty
seventh Street, and it used to be just about five
or six minutes. But you know what, like I care, man,
it's still the way I got it figured is I'm
(24:48):
probably gonna lose twenty pounds living here, you're going to
keep eating all that animal fat? How are you gonna
lose twenty pounds walking my ass off, Jack, walking all
over this town. So that's the update. So you already,
so you've heard the phrase that pays today and by
now maybe we've got a winner. I don't know. We've
already given away one pair of tickets. We have five
(25:09):
total to give away. We'll give it away another pair
to day for the pitch and the opening is October
the ninth at the Actors Temple Theater on forty seventh
Street in New York City. Looking forward to it, looking
forward to seeing a lot of you guys and a
lot of friends that I'll be seeing from New York
area as well. All Right, that's it, man, you gonna
get some more copy. No, I'm not gonna get some
(25:30):
more copy. Man, I'm gonna I don't know, I'm gonna
do it downstairs. Get a candy bar. Yeah, maybe that's
what I'll do, get a candy bar. World Famous Phil
Henry Show is executive produced by me Phil Henry fort
Simpre Incorporated. All rights reserved on iHeart Podcasts. Don't forget
(25:54):
a backstage past the Phil Hendry Show, Phil Everryshow dot com.
It's the greatest value online other than porn. I forget
Hey, it's Phil Henry on the streets of New York,
where I'm more comfortable than not, and that scares me.
But nonetheless, we are here in New York City, as
you know, until the oh the middle to the end
of November, as we are appearing in Tom alpers great
play The Pitch off Broadway at the Actors Temple Theater
on forty seventh Street. And guess what today we're giving
away another two tickets. We've got another pair of tickets
(00:22):
for roughly around the first week of our run. We begin,
as they say, a soft opening on October the ninth.
I learned that from my stepdaughter Catherine. Thank you Catherine
for that, the soft opening everynew Anyway, we're gonna give
away another couple of tickets to see the Pitch. We
would love it if you're able to get it to
the theater. You know that it being your rear end.
(00:43):
And what I mean by that is if you're in
the New York area, that's probably a good one, unless
if you're out there on American you plan on being
in New York for the dates mentioned. Hey, that's cool too,
so stick around. We're gonna be asking you to listen
for the phrase that pays today on the Phil Henry Show.
And when you hear that phrase, we want you to
send it along with your name, along with your email address,
(01:05):
and along with the city you're in, and the phrase
to service at Phil Hendryshow dot com. Stick around for
that one meantime, get a backstage pass to the world
famous Phil Henry Show website and enjoy thousands and thousands
of hours of our radio Hall of Fame show, our
great podcasts, the podcasts of Bobby Dooley, Elcott, The Next Step,
the Milwaukee Lions, and oh so very deeply much more.
(01:27):
We also have video casts. You can watch me performing
the show. We have home movies from the Henry family.
It's a very intimate and familial. In family, it's a war.
It's like sitting down to just baked bread and I
looking like my mother. Say I'm in a wig and
I look like my mom and I've just cooked the bread.
Never mind. It's the world famous Phil Hendriy. Good one Phil,
a world Famous Phil Henry Show. At Phil Henryshow dot com.
(01:49):
The greatest value online other than porn. Welcome to today's show.
Today's phrase that pays, Folks is the following and it
must be uttered by Brad fixed The phrase is Brad
Fixton is one gigantic asshole. When you hear that, be
sure to send it in at service at Phil Henryshow
(02:11):
dot com. Service at Phil Hendryshow dot com, along with
your name, the town you're in, your email address, and
of course the phrase itself, Brad Fixton is one gigantic asshole,
and it must be uttered by Brad Fixton himself. Hello,
this is Brad Fixton, and this is Brad Fixton has
got a couple of ideas about things that have heretofore
(02:36):
not been solved. And let's just let Brad take the wheel.
You know we're going to do that. How you doing, general,
I'm good, I just did a question. No, I'm gonna
take the wheel. I know you have questions. And Margaret
Gray is with us too, Margaret, Hello. And I think
mister Henry is what he is rehearsing. I Phil is
running his line, rehearsing his lines for the Play's gonna
(02:59):
be a yes. Well, I want to thank mister Henry
for allowing me to be on the air, but I
have to say it was a no brainer in my
opinion to let Brad Fixton, who's got a couple of
ideas on how things should go, and so let's let
Brad Fixton take the wheel. And that's the name of
the show and the reason I can almost anticipate your question.
(03:21):
You're mister Dickman, right, yes, and you sit and stare
at me like that. Why well, he's not staring at you.
Wait a minute. I'm Brad Fixton, and you've got a
couple of ideas about how things should go, and you
want to let Brad Fixton take the wheel, and I
won't let That's not what I said. It's nobody said
general all right. I The name of the show, as
(03:41):
approved by mister Henry before he went to do his rehearsal,
was I'm Brad Fixton, and this is Brad Fixton has
a couple of ideas on how things should go. So
let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Okay, yeah, fine,
I know it seems long. Now my second question is,
what's your name? I'm Bud Dickman, okay, And you're supposed
(04:02):
to sit there and stare at me like that. You're
sitting about you're in a tiny little stool, and he's
staring up at you, and you're staring up at me. Yeah,
that's generally what mister Henry will have me do with
a lot of a lot of the hosts. I don't
know what's the problem, Brad, what's the problem, Brad? I'm
already I already feel like I'm in hostile territory. Brad,
this is not the way it's done here in the
(04:23):
Phil Henry Show. I'm Brad fixed in and yes, but
Brad Fixton has got a couple of ideas and how
the way, how a thing on how the things should go,
And let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. That's the
name of the show. So I don't want to spend
a whole lot of time talking. We're already rolling right, yes, sir,
we are okay? And are you the engineer? Yes, sir,
I am. Then why why aren't you playing with the
(04:46):
knobs and everything instead of sitting there on that milk
but looks like a milking stool staring up at me
like you're a bad like you're almost a bad elf. No, sir,
I'm just here. This is where mister Henry generally tells
me to be so I can get I can have
access to the controls, you know, the technical control as
well as be a part of the show. Yeh, that's seen.
He's got the microphone. Well why is he sitting in
(05:07):
that little stool because you can see there's all kinds
of there's all kinds of processing equipment down here. Oh
I oh, okay, I see that. Yeah, so I have
to be near the processing equipment as well as the broadcast.
Loves the control board for the audio as well as
a microphone. Okay, it just it was a bit disquieting
to look down and I see you staring up at
(05:27):
me like it's like you're in It's like you're in
an imp or some evil imp that lives under the
of the bed. I don't know. Yeah, whatever, whatever, Brad,
go ahead, And what does that mean? What just do?
Brad fixed in has got a couple of ideas about things,
and so let's let Brad take the wheel. Go ahead,
(05:49):
all right? Who's doing the announcing? I am are you ready? Yes?
I am Hello everyone, and welcome to the streets of
New York. I'm Margaret Gray, I'm General Helen Shaw, and
I'm Bud Dickman. And this is Brad Fixton has a
couple of ideas on how things should go. So let's
let Brad Fixton take the wheel with your host, Brad Fixton.
(06:10):
Thank you very much, Margaret Gray. I am Brad fixed
in and I've had a lot of different ideas on
how things should go. So guess what it's about time
we let Brad Fixton take the take the wheel. And
when I say take the wheel, what does that mean?
It could mean that you're still sitting shotgun. But I
sort of pushed you out of the way and I said,
let me have the wheel, and I've moved into the
driver's seat and I've moved you over to the shotgun
(06:34):
and you can sit there and just think about how
you weren't doing such a great job. Who's hanking that horn?
That's just doing We're doing this live as you know,
I know it just that's New York. Yeah. Uh so
they let me roll beck. You're going to edit all
this out, yes, sir, Brad Fixton, Welcome to Brad Fixton
(06:55):
has a couple of ideas on how things should go,
and so let's let Brad Fixton and no other take
the Wheel. That's it. That's the part. That's the part
you were missing. Huh, that's the part I was missing. Yeah.
I want to thank Phil Henry for letting me come
in and bring the Brad Fixton solutions to his podcast
as well as to all the listeners around the world. Now,
(07:15):
before we get going with, Brad Fixton has a couple
of ideas on how life should go. So let's let
Brad Fixton takes the weak. God, I messed the name up. Well,
the name is it's general, isn't it. No, it's very specific.
Brad Fixton has a couple of ideas on how life
should go. So let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Okay,
that's the name of the show. And it was not
(07:37):
too long ago, and I had I had a lot
of concepts. I was working for the Modane Corporation. This
was a broadcast corporation, and they had promised me my
own podcast, my own radio show. At one point they
wanted me to do a half an hour of television
for Modane broadcasting across the Tri state area. And when
(07:58):
I asked him what states those were, they wouldn't answer me.
I said, well, what Tri State area And I said wall,
he said I would. They said, that's study your business,
until finally I said I demand to know, and they
came back with this and you can edit this out,
but they came back with a note that said Brad
Fixton is one gigantic asshole. And I said, you know what,
(08:19):
I quit. That's the day I quit, and that's the
day that Oh man, this is Brad Fixton has got
a couple of ideas on how things should go. So
let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Brought to you
by the world famous Phil Henry Show Backstage Pass. Get
a subscription today and listen to the thousands of hours
(08:39):
of what it is what mister Henry does on his website. Yes,
the Phil Henry Show Backstage Pass. It's worth every nickel.
Get it today at philhinbyshow dot com, the greatest value
online other than Porton. Welcome back here to Brad Fixton
has a couple of ideas and how things should go,
and so let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. Now,
(09:00):
I just butchered the name of that up again brand.
You know you're gonna have to write it down I'm
not gonna write it down. I know the name of
my own show. Something that I've been thinking a lot
about is how we can get into the day with
a positive mindset and at the same time practically apply
good things physically as well as to our work environment.
(09:21):
What do I mean by that? You know, we get
into the car and we drive to work. We're listening
to podcasts, we're listening to newscasts, and much of this
stuff is very depressing. It's just got us kind of
bumming out, you know, as we used to say back
in the day. You know, I'm just I'm all bummed out.
You remember those days, Margaret, Yes, I do. I remember
just people saying that's a bummer. Yeah, they say that's
(09:43):
a bummer, But I remember them saying I'm all bummed out, right,
And we used to joke around until I took that seriously.
We used to say, well, he's all bummed out. That
means he's got his pants down. You know, what does
it mean? What does it mean? It means if you're
all if you're bummed out. Oh, I gets yet it. Yeah, yeah,
he's all Oh look at Charlie, he's bummed out. His
pants are down. And he's sticking his bum out. But
(10:06):
when I started to get serious about life, I said,
you know, I'm all bummed out that man. I was
just not having a good life. How do we take
life by the horns early in the morning and just
go for it? Okay, Well apply the Brad fixed in concept,
and that is Brad Fixton has got a couple of
ideas on how things should go. So let's let Brad
(10:28):
Fixton take the wheel. And what I want you to
do is I want you to when you're having a
problem in life, say I'm gonna let Brad Fixton take
the wheel. And here's what you do. Running and singing
on your way to work takes your mind off of
the commute problem. It takes your mind even off of
(10:51):
the physical stress of running. What it does is it
tells you it feels good to run. I'm happy that
i'm running, I'm happy I'm going to work, and I'm singing.
You're running, you're singing. You're fully clothed for your day
at work. You may have a backpack on, maybe you
even have on a suit. But as you run, sing
a great and favorite song, like my favorite song. Did
(11:14):
you do this coming over here. Well, I'm staying with
an autum mind in Queen's and I took an uber
over here. Well, why didn't you you run and sing?
I didn't run and sing. Brad Fixton has got a
couple of ideas on how things should work out. So
let's let Brad Fixton take the wheel. All right. Sorry, yeah,
I'm jeez, I'm digging the wheel now. To answer your question, though,
(11:36):
it was a long way, Okay, it was going to
be a good hour and a half if I walked it.
Even if I ran, it'd be about an hour, maybe
an hour and a half from Queen's on over to here.
So but if you just if you're got a regular
job and you don't you know, okay, maybe you've got
the hour to burn. I don't not today. Usually run
(11:57):
I would be running and singing my favorite song, who
let the Dogs Out? Bark bark, bark barker, Who let
the dogs out? Bark bark bark, Who let the Dogs Out?
That's the hip hop song. Yes, sometimes I'll just sing
something like this, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you, Brad, Happy birthday to you. Oh
(12:19):
you know, like that or I'll sing you know, Santa
Clauses come into town. Any song that makes me feel good,
and I'm running, I'm singing, I'm running, I'm singing. I'm running,
I'm singing. And by the time you get to work,
by the time I get to work, I forgot that
I'm you know, tired, and I forgot that I'm actually
soaked in sweat. And if you bring along some under
armed de orderant and you're you're ready to go, okay,
(12:40):
you spray a little bit down where you need to
up under the arm pitch, and you're ready to rock
and roll there in the in the in the in
the in the in the in the in the in
the in the in the thing you all right, yeah,
I don't in the Can you edit this? Yeah? Edit together,
I'll edit the first in you to the last one
in in. I forget what I'm saying. Well, you're you're
you're feeling good because you're saying your favorite song. If
(13:00):
I'm feeling good because I've fan if I fanned on
my favorites, I didn't fan on it, that's striking out
in baseball. I know that I'm feeling good because I
sang my favorite song, and I ran and I didn't
feel tired at all. You see this is what I mean.
Run and sing. You get to work, maybe about thirty
minutes longer than it would take you, but you're happy.
(13:22):
You just got a good little bit of fitness at
training in, You got a little exercise in, and you
have found a whole new way to get into the
day fully ready to go. See this is Let Brad
Fixton take the wheel. Okay, let Brad Fixton take the wheel.
Write Brad for his brochure on how to make Life
(13:44):
more gooder. Brad Fixton has got a couple of ideas
and how things should go. So let Brad Fixton take
the wheel.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Hello, I'm Agnus Jimmy Man, and I got a hold
of Brad Fixton's book. Brad Fixton has a couple of
ideas and how life should go. So let Brad Fixton
take the wheel. And I let Brad take the wheel
of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
And while it careened into what Brad calls a ditch
of self examination, I was able to climb out of
the destroyed car of bad decisions, climb up the mountain
side of recovery and now I'm hitchhiking down the highway
of success. That's what I wanted to say. Brad Fixton's
(14:25):
got a couple of ideas on how things should go.
So let Brad Fixton take the wheel for a while,
send away for his brochure today. This is Brad Fixton,
and welcome back to Brad Fixton's got a couple of ideas.
We'll I get a few more minutes because then I
have to give way to my friend Mark Cargan and
the Mark Cargan's News Hour. And waiting to hear Mark Cargan.
(14:46):
He's going to be on the Brad Fixton Network. So
we're going to have Brad Fixton teaching you how to
get into the day happily. And then we have the
Mark Cargan News Hour. Mark Cargan's News is completely invented,
but we think it's news that's going to happen that day.
That's why we do the Mark Cargan. Waitill you hear
and it's really great. Wait a minute, it's hold on
(15:08):
for a minute. No, it's he makes it up. He
makes the news up. Yes, Mark Cargan makes up. It's
called the Mark Cargan News Hour. Do you have to
sit there in that milking stool staring at me? Yes, sir,
I do. It's unfortunate, It's an unfortunate thing, but I do.
Jesus Christ, this has been Brad Fixton has got a
couple of ideas on how things should go. So let's
let Brad Fixton take the wheel for a while. On
(15:31):
the World Famous Phil Henry Show website. Shit hell our one,
this is General Galen Shawn. Listen. The backstage pass to
the world Famous Phil Henry Show is the smartest way
to follow the Phil Henry Show, all of the antics,
all of the goings ons, all of the contesting. With
a backstage pass to the world Famous Phil Henry Show,
you have one foot in the great classic archives of
(15:53):
Phil's show. You have another foot in the present as
Phil muddles his way through life. Now he's in a
play in New York's and you have one foot in
the future. What weird concepts, strange ideas, and new beginnings
will come forth from the Phil Henry Show. Yeah, yeah,
it's yeah. Ah man, take it easy. Get a backstage
(16:15):
pass to the Phil Henry Show. A subscription is less
than ten dollars for one month, less than seven dollars
a month for the year. Phil Henry has not raised
the price on his backstage pass for thirteen years. Sounds
like you don't like that. I don't know. Thirteen years,
mister Henry has not raised the price and he's not
going to raise it now. He spoke with me about
(16:36):
it just earlier before he went off to memorize his
lines for this play, and he said, no, no, no, no,
I will not bullshit the world famous Phil Henry Show
at Phil Hendryshow dot Com, the greatest value online other
than porn. You're listening to the Phil Henry Show.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
It's time for Mark Cargan, Mark Cargan's new I'm Mark
Cargan and welcome to Mark Corgan's News Hour as part
of the Brad Fixton. Brad Fixton's got a few ideas
and how things should go, So let's let Brad Fixton
take the wheel for a while. Network. The Mark Cargan
News Hour is brought to you by Phil Henryshow dot Com.
(17:19):
And I'm sure it's a great, great product. I have
not heard Phil Henry. What I have heard about Phil Henry.
Some of it's good. Some of it's bad, but we're
very happy to have him as a sponsor. Now, let's
take a look at the news in Czechoslovakia people had
In Czechoslovakia, people put on shorts and those shoes with
(17:39):
the buckles and slap dance their way all through the
day today. They did it as a way of saying,
we're going to be happy regardless of the world's condition.
The slap dancing in Czechoslovakia then spilled over into Germany
and Austria, and there was a full slap dance happening
throughout the day. In San Francis, let's go California, gay
(18:01):
people decided that they just as soon have sex with
members of the opposite sex. Just spontaneously decided it. It
didn't mean that they weren't gay, but it meant that
let's just give it a try. Let's go ahead and
see how it feels. So all the gay people in
San Francisco decided to have sex with people of the
opposite sex.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
That happened. This is the Mark Cargan News. Mark Krgan
is reporting news that he hopes happens here. Well, don't
say that I'm contractually obligated. You're contractually obligated to do
what I tell you to do, or you're fired. I'm sorry,
I have to follow it. The Henry Show says, you're fired. Goodbye.
In other news, in the Mark Krgan World, the Russians
(18:44):
have decided that they want to give this democracy thing
one more try. Vladimir Putin said, let's do it. Let's
try this thing. I'll go ahead and sit in the
backseat for a while, and I'll see what business I
have to attend to. You go ahead and get this
democracy thing going on in Russia, and I won't bother you.
I'll just be in the back seat, you know, looking
(19:04):
at my day planner and seeing what phone calls I
have to return. I'm Vladimir Putin. I'm willing to give
this democracy thing a chance. In Washington, d C. Today,
President Trump released the Epstein files and guess what he
wasn't in them. Yeah, I'm Mark Cargan the Mark Cargan
News Hour. Mark Cargan Weather. The weather today, sunshine from
(19:27):
sun up until sundown. The temperature sitting at a seventy
five to eighty degree range, depending upon the part of
the country you're in. Light winds, no precipitation, to speak of,
and it'll be nice and dry with low humidity. It's
in other words, that's perfect weather. But you have to understand,
I'm also going to need to bring a hurricane and
some blizzards because perfect weather will drive you insane. It
(19:50):
will drive you mad with boredom. So you've got to
have a blizzard, maybe even a hurricane. So a blizzard
is coming and a hurricane too. Mark Cargan Sports In sports,
the Los Angeles Dodgers won, but they didn't win the
World Series. But they kept on winning games, so their
fans are happy not winning the World Series. The rest
of the people in America are happy too, because they
(20:12):
don't want to see the Dodgers win anything. Okay, the
winners of the World Series are the Chicago think about that.
I won't tell you just yet, but these guys will
win the World Series the Chicago dot dot dot. Yeah,
it could be. It could be the Chicago Cubs, could
be the White Sox, or it could be who knows,
(20:32):
there might be another team that we're not aware of
that made the playoffs. This is Mark yet, that's right,
Mark Corgan's world. Anything as possible. Now I'm Phil's here,
Phil Hi Mark. How are you Phil Henry Right, I'm
in the middle of Mark Cargan News. I think I
think we were going to edit this Bud right, Yes, sir,
I think we don't need to. I've been outside. I've
been doing lines. You've been outside doing lines. I don't
(20:56):
understand that. What cocaine? No, sir, I'm doing a play.
Oh oh, when you said you're sitting outside, but he
thought I was outside just doing rails of coke. Yeah,
that's what I thought. Well, thank you very much, Mark.
We're gonna take over from here, Mark Cargan. Well, I
got a whole lot more to do here. I mean
the Mark Cargan News Hour, I know, but thank you anyway. Okay,
(21:18):
so you're kicking me. I didn't see you kicking out
Brad Fixton or whatever the fuck his gay name is. Jeez,
I thought you worked for him. I'm not anymore. I don't, apparently,
I don't. Okay, I'm sorry that I was not here
for any of this. Well, it was pretty bad Brad Fixton,
and I heard let me take the wheel. It was
Brad Fixton's got a few ideas on how to fix
(21:39):
things or whatever. Yeah, and then he complained about me,
mister Henry. He said, I looked like a like an
evil dwarf or something sitting here on a milking stool. Well,
why are you sitting in a milking stool? Because I
got more access to the pressing processing equipment down here.
So you were staring up at him? Yeah, I was
staring up at him and he got creeped out and
he thought it was like some mad dwarf staring. It
(22:01):
wasn't anything, he was just this guy fixed in his
concentration's lousy. See. Oh, Brad coming in Hi. So you
didn't like it, huh not really, Brad? All right, Well
we had the secret phrase. Yeah, the secret phrase was
Brad Fixton is one gigantic asshole. I think it's what
it was, and it had to be uttered by Brad. Yes,
(22:22):
all right, I'm assuming we're gonna have a winner, and
congratulations to our winter yesterday. Tad Richards of New York City.
So people are asking me, well, how are you you know,
how are you living in New Yorkville? And well, Verbo,
So people are asking me, how are you living in
New York How are you eating? What do you eat?
(22:43):
You know, this kind of thing. I'm in midtown Manhattan.
I'm just down from Times Square, up from Times Square,
so something like that. I'm near Central Park on the
way to Central Park. See what else? And you know,
we're around the corner from just about everything. I mean radio,
you saw Radio City, Music Hall, and a lot of
really exciting things. Now, how am I, you know, going
(23:05):
about life? First of all, there's not exactly a lot
of supermarkets in Manhattan. There is a Whole Foods which
is down about three blocks. But mostly what I've been
doing is eating in restaurants and so it's like it's
a throwback to my bachelor days, you know, and I'm
having things like, you know, food that I ordinarily don't eat.
I mean I've been I've been pretty strictly vegan for
(23:25):
many years, but being in New York and sort of
having to, you know, go the native route, I've been
eating steak. You're kidding. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I've
had steak because you figure, you know, animal protein is
quite frankly the main source of get a load of
the lost. So this is going to be good. I
(23:47):
told you my chiropractor, Ralph Albee said, And Ralph was
like one of the most vegan guys. But he said
animal protein is the best protein for humans. Okay, so
you're rationalizing eating these poor animals. I'm not rationalizing an
I'm just I'm living the way they live in New York. Okay,
So I had a couple of stakes I've had. See
you had fish and chips too. I had fishing chips
(24:07):
today at this place called Roso Gradies. Is another restaurant
that I ate at that I told you guys about
called ted Montana's, which is just down the street. And
let's see what else. Well, you know, I was at
at the tap House across the street from my old place,
and I ate at the Peruvian Joint and you know
(24:27):
the Barking Dog. Now you haven't been to the Barking
Dog because you're far away from there. Yeah, I am.
Plus the fact that in moving to this new digs
and they're great, but I'm now eleven minutes. It's an
eleven minute walk between here and the theater on forty
seventh Street, and it used to be just about five
or six minutes. But you know what, like I care, man,
it's still the way I got it figured is I'm
(24:48):
probably gonna lose twenty pounds living here, you're going to
keep eating all that animal fat? How are you gonna
lose twenty pounds walking my ass off, Jack, walking all
over this town. So that's the update. So you already,
so you've heard the phrase that pays today and by
now maybe we've got a winner. I don't know. We've
already given away one pair of tickets. We have five
(25:09):
total to give away. We'll give it away another pair
to day for the pitch and the opening is October
the ninth at the Actors Temple Theater on forty seventh
Street in New York City. Looking forward to it, looking
forward to seeing a lot of you guys and a
lot of friends that I'll be seeing from New York
area as well. All Right, that's it, man, you gonna
get some more copy. No, I'm not gonna get some
(25:30):
more copy. Man, I'm gonna I don't know, I'm gonna
do it downstairs. Get a candy bar. Yeah, maybe that's
what I'll do, get a candy bar. World Famous Phil
Henry Show is executive produced by me Phil Henry fort
Simpre Incorporated. All rights reserved on iHeart Podcasts. Don't forget
(25:54):
a backstage past the Phil Hendry Show, Phil Everryshow dot com.
It's the greatest value online other than porn. I forget
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