October 14, 2025 • 29 mins
Margaret hosts in New York, squatting in a door front on 8th Avenue. Chris Norton has a new film “Ball Four Or Four Balls.” Playwright Duck Buckward guests. Duck has never gotten a play published or performed. Jay Santos checks in with the New York security report.Sign up for a Backstage Pass and enjoy Hours of exclusive content, Phil's new podcast, Classic podcasts, Bobbie Dooley's podcasts, special live streaming events and shows, and oh so very much more…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, It's Phil Henry for the World Famous Phil Hendry
Show Backstage pass while we're here in New York. I
want to thank you all for hanging with us and
being backstage past members. If you're a backstage past member,
and if you're not, I'd like to invite you to
join our BSP family. We've been going strong since around
nineteen ninety nine thereabouts, and we feature thousands of hours
(00:23):
of our radio show as well as our NetCast, and
we communicate via the pre show where people hear me
talk about all kinds of things relative to the show.
It's a great way to kind of hang with our show,
the world Famous Phil Henry Show. And like I say,
I'm grateful for all of you guys. If you want
to get a subscription, you just check out our website,
Phil Hendryshow dot com. Less than ten dollars for a month,
(00:46):
less than seven dollars a month if you get a
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(01:07):
comedy that we've done down through the years. It's all
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archive comparatively speaking to other radio or you know, new
media shows. So join us, won't you at Phil Henryshow
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pass subscription to our website, the greatest value online other
(01:27):
than porn.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yes, Hello, this is Margaret Gray from New York City
and I'm here hosting today's Phil Henry Show podcast. Phil
has just completed, along with his cast mates and other
performance of Tom Alpers the Pitch. Yes, I am here
on the streets of New York and yes, I'll be
perfectly honest with you because hold on, Bude, you hold
(01:52):
on Bud. Because there was a little bit of we
did get some emails and some controversy. People say, well,
and it was interesting. You know, people will say this
behind your back, will they say it to your face? Well,
I know there's a siren, would you Why did you
back off?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Alad?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And so they said in some of these emails that
they say behind you know, it's easy to eat email
someone and say.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm not even going to
dignify it.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Margaret was a lot of people wrote in and said, boy,
I wish I was there while you were squatting on
a box, the animation being that they wanted to look.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Up for can we happy? So anyway, I'm here.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We're on eighth Avenue where we were last night. Phil
has gone on ahead to get some sleep, I think,
is what he's saying. I guess I'll answer the question. Yes,
we are using different things to sit on. And again
I say the words sit on, as in sitting down
(02:56):
on something, not the way.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
This one here. I was only saying, mister, I'll go ahead.
General Phil insisted that Bud be here, that Margaret.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Would I got it.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Phil is off sleeping, and he said I could do
the show as long as Bud and the rest of
the crew were here.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
He didn't want any changes. But he did tell you, Bud,
he told me that I was.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
He didn't tell you that you get every time I
say the term when Margaret here, I got it. When
Margaret says sin on it or anything like that, Bud
is not allowed to laugh.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Did you understand that when mister.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Henry said that, Yes, sorry, I am also chewing on
some altoyds because I have I detected anyway, some fetid breath.
My breath has been bad, and I don't have a
problem talking about this. My breath has been bad, i'd
say the last fourteen hours. General, Well, I gotta you
(03:48):
don't have to tell us.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
What he said. He got a whiff of it.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Where did I tell you.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
She didn't hit him. I pushed you a little bit.
You're not allowed to. Oh you had to make a
big deal out of it, Bud, you pushed me.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I'm sorry you can't. My breath has been fetted. I
would say it's been even rank from I don't know
what the.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Coffee well, I think it's a combination of coffee not
brushing your teeth.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Excuse me, but I did not have the opportunity to
brush my teeth this morning.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Why are we even talking about this?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I got it. I'm Bud dickment.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Thing and we're here on the streets of New York. Yes, okay,
I'll go ahead and I'll continue what I was saying.
I'm not ashamed of most people. What is the hawking
going on? Is that the guy again. That's that same
cab driver from yesterday. Hey, up yours, No, let me
do it. Hey, you just sit on this. Huh this
what I'm pointing at, y'all.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Bet you would.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Vulgar, crude slob like some of the cab drivers here
in New York, not all of them. But a moment
ago this man drove by and he did recognize me,
right he did.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
He said, you, Margaret drag and msger. You ignored him.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I ignored him, but I nodded yes, or so you
didn't acknowledge it, yes, And that's when he said, I
got something for you.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I've got something for you to soon on.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Can we start this all over again?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah, let's roll big Hello on. Hi, I'm Margaret.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Wait a minute, I'm Margaret Gray from the streets of
New York. And that sounds bad too, because it sounds
like I'm walking them. It sounds like I'm walking the streets. Yeah, Like,
all I gotta do is show you a twenty dollars bill. Well,
you don't have to put it that way, you slob.
Let's take a break. Wipe that up there, wipe that
up there. I put my elbow in it.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What is it? It looks like it's apple juice or something.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
It's not apple juice, Oh god, some kind of proud
of it. Rotten fruit.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
They got a rotten tangerine here and something like it.
Oh God, I put my elbow right in that, Bud.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I don't love that it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
If we can get somebody to host this part of
the street off, that's good luck for that.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Three two one you and welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Back to the world famous Phil Henry Show. I'm Margaret Gray,
I'm General Gillonshaw, and Bud Dickman.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
And has gone ahead after a successful performance this evening
along with his wonderful cast mates of the Pitch at
the Actors Temple Theater on twenty seventh Street. We are
here on eighth because we've been allowed to sit here
where we've tried to stop. The problem is Phil's trying
to get some sleep up in his apartment, and so
(06:21):
in order to complete the show for tomorrow, we've have
to sort of got a mixshift and we've.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Had to just set the studio up where we can.
We got rid of the milk crates, a lot of
people will be happy to know, and we.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Have a this is a well it had diapers.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
I don't care if it had diapers. It's a box.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It's an empty box that used to have diapers in it.
But thinks that means that there's I think there's baby
shit out. I thought there might be baby shit.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
I cut all of that out.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, well sorry, and we found a very large and
substantial box.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Your arms and funny of them mouth.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I'm getting two altoids.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
As I was mentioning my breath because of coffee and
occasionally coffee and I truth be told.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
On the rare occasion, I smoke a pipe. Now, something
we haven't.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Really told, we really told a listener is that, Well,
I'm telling them now because I've had this.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Let me just double check my breath.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Oh god, God damn it, Margaret, hold on. So I
am eating altoids because my breath is I won't say
it's foul. But I smoke a pipe on a case
I had a couple of, so I smoke some of
the rum soaked tobacco. It's a pipe my father gave me.
And on rare occasions, I take a few hits on
(07:34):
a pipe.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
It's not narrow water or anything. No, it's not. It's tobacco.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
But you combine that with the fact that I did
not have an opportunity to brush my teeth. This morning,
I drank a couple of cups of coffee and yeah,
I keep blowing my breath into my hand and.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
It is Jesus, it's nothing that it's not.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Good, and that's why I Can you do me a favor?
Are we still recording? Yes, ma'am, I stopped the recording.
Get me an appointment with doctor Howser Bilberman.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Howser Bolger.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
No, I said Bober, and you know, I said Bober
Howser Bilberman. He's over on Kaleaney Hill in New Jersey.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, can I have the number?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Don't do it now? Sure there is a general Galen Shaw.
Margaret Gray is with us. She has been eating altoids,
and I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
And the reason why is because ordinarily I'm very careful
with my breath, but my breath has been foul and
fetted for three days and every time I go, huh,
if I breathe it into my hand to smell my breath,
I don't.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Even want to talk about it. This is hanging you up. Huh.
It's it's not making this easy to do right?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Well, it was Gray, I did get a I did
get a whiff of it.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I did get a whiff of it as you turned
and you and hey, bud eh, you know, and I
did it did?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
So so what? Oh? God, damn it.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Ordinarily I'm very pistials with my personal habits, ladies and gentlemen.
But as I say, coffee a couple of pups on
a pipe that I smoke, people think that that what
does that make me?
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Butcher?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Something of Margaret?
Speaker 4 (09:09):
You know? I love the misogyny, you know, don't you? Ladies?
Because I smoke a pipe. Well, how often do you
smoke the pipe? What business is it of yours?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You say that it gave you foul breadth?
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I smoke a.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Pipe once a month. If that it's something I shared
with my father, my dear departed father. He and I
would share a pipe.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Well, how old were you?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I was fifteen? What General Shaw's laughing?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Margaret Gray is now flipping me off, and she's walked
to the other side of missus Gray. We have a
show to do.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Mis Gray.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
She's flipping me off, holding her hand extending it out,
now both hands extending out, flipping me off. She's smiling.
She's waving them up and down. Jesus, all right, I'm done.
Do you get the message out?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Yes? You flip me off with both hands. Same.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I'm Margaret Gray. I don't know how much of this
Bud Dickman will be editing this. I shouldn't even say that, though.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah, because people will think it'll be it'll be, it'll
be edited.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Talk much, Margaret.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Just all right, This is Margaret Gray, and welcome again
to the world famous Phil Henry Show. We're in the
wonderful city of New York. Who did oh god, a
guy walked by and farted. A pedestrian walked by and just,
oh god, a man walked by and cut you know,
broke wind and the wind was just right, Yeah, it
(10:37):
blew back into the into the We're actually sitting here
in the steps of a closed store here on Eighth Avenue.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Ms.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Gray is, well, you're not squatting, but you're sitting. Your
knees are almost up to your chin.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I'm sitting on a short step. My knees are up
to my chin.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Thanks well, Margaret, you are so Her knees are almost
up to her chin. Mine are almost up to my chin.
And anyway, A guy just walked by and he cut. Yeah,
he did cut, he did cut wind, and it blew
just perfectly into Miss Gray's face.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Who all right, I'm better now. You can hear the
sirens in the background, the steps of people moving along
the avenue.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Here in New York.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I'm Margaret Gray, and this is the world famous Phil
Henry Show. When we talk about theater in New York,
I don't think there's too many people that skip over
the name Duck Buckward. Duck Buckward has been one of
our great playwrights, and most of what he's written has
he not yet been published, nor has it been put
(11:40):
on the stage.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
But I think people understand Duck well.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I hope so, because what I attempt to do is
right for the common man. And I insist that only
people are cast that I approve of and know where
the production process has slowed because I have exacting and
demanding standards.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
This is what I was trying to tell people. When
the name Duck Buckward is mentioned. Here in New York.
Everyone knows who thinks they're going to produce one of
your plays. They know that you'll be there.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I'm always at the elbow of anyone who's going to
produce a duck Buckword play what I call the duck
Buckward joint or the duck Buckward way. Mister Buckward, you
don't call me mister. You call me father Buckward. What
do you mean, Father Buckward? Don't ask, That's just I
(12:33):
prefer to be called father Buckword. Are you religious? Are
you in a are you in a religious order? No?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
My name is Duck Buckward. But if you want to
say excuse me, sir, simply say excuse me, father Buckward.
All right, Well, how many of your plays have actually
been performed?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
All of them have been performed, but in New York.
I don't want to put any of them on a
stage in New York until I'm assured of the what
I call the cleanliness, Till I'm assured that it is clean,
it's swept, it's been wiped down. There's not a theater
in New York that I think is worthy of a
(13:11):
Duck Buckward, of a duck Buckward project.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
And a lot of people are asking, then why would
you have this man on? Yes?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Can I interrupt? Are you going to ask why would
you have this man on your show? And the answer
is because Duck Buckward is because Duck Buckworth is because
there's no theater in New York without Duck Buckward.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Because I go from everything I see to every play
in New York. I go from theater to theater, and
I will watch each production, and I have extensive notes
for the actors and the directors and the people that
produce these plays. And when people see Duck Buckward coming
right down the street, so they'll be looking down the street,
(13:55):
there's no one. Then they see suddenly rounding the corner,
they'll see the very familiar checkered sports jacket and checker
slacks with a checkered shirt.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
This is the distinctive Duck Buckward. I look, by the way,
yes it is.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I wear a checkered sports jacket, checkered slacks. I have
a checkered and checkered socks. And then you wear these
what are these? What do they look like? Well, there's
sort of a boot, a half boot. They are a
half they're an iron what I call an Irish boot. Okay,
And you wear the big hat. I wear a large
checkered hat and sunglasses. And when you see Duck Buckward coming,
(14:29):
you better man. I don't know what to say.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
You better know that a theater expert is coming.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yes, did you see that? He just flipped me off
to Oh no, he's hung his Oh my god, we
got a guy. Okay, guy just drove by and hung it. Yeah,
let us say say go ahead for christ A guy
just drove by and hung his hung as his bear
bear rear end out. Is this the kind of thing
that you have on your show? Is great?
Speaker 4 (14:55):
What do you mean the thing? What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Well?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Why, I was invited to talk about the theo or
in New York and a guy just drove by and
shoved both cheeks and then put his hands and spread
the cheeks. So you're looking right up to god, damn,
that was.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Vulgar and vile.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Don't look at me. I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
I know that, duck Buckward.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Well, I now you mentioned.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Your breath, and I just yeah, I just got not much,
miss Gray, but I got a small, just a small
a breeze blew it into my face.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yes, as I said, I've been drinking coffee and I
smoked a pipe earlier, and I had onion soup last
night over here.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
At Thesi at Rosio gradies.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
But that's the stay of the restaurant of fifty first.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yes, and you put that all together with the pipe
onion soup. My I have stale breath and.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, I just yeah, let me just catch mine, let
me just oh you need do I need? What?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Bud shit down?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I've never done a radio interview where I'm sitting on
I'm sitting on the sidewalk. Here.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Do we have a chair here for mister Buckwood.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I've had plan on getting you a chair, mister Buckwood,
but unfortunately all we have is this. All he has
his box here is that's one of his Bounty towns on.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yeah, we got out of a supermarket.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I thought Ms Gray, you were doing much better in
the life.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
I am doing well in life. Buck Okay, Well, you're
sitting on a box.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
It says as it says diaper, and I'm gonna okay.
This is the world famous Phil Henry show. Sitting in
for Phil is Margaret Gray. Here's market.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Duck Buckward is my guest, and Duck has written how
many plays have you written?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Upwards of three hundred and around three hundred, four hundred,
three hundred to four hundred, all right, three hundred to
four hundred plays. None of them have been none of
them have been performed in New York. No, and yet
you see me around. If you are known far and
wide here in New York City, you go to different
meetings and you tell people how to do things out.
(17:00):
But I I don't want my plays to be on
stage in New York.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Well, why don't you tell the truth? What are you
talking about?
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Nobody wants to I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
No one really has any interest in putting your place
on because they don't understand them. They consider them to
be well. The New York magazine said that the duck
Buckward the duck Buckward method, as he calls it, is
to wipe.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
In such a way as to see a word on
the toilet paper. You see you see what I'm saying. Yeah,
that's terrible.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Just so I don't like you're writing.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Doesn't make any difference. Can I have another one of
those events? Because if I can smell my own breath,
a god by breath, mine too, well, I know that
I could smell you a block off. Oh god, damn you.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
I just slapped your stupid get your ass out of here.
You don't publish anything going No you're gonna hear from La,
I hope. So Margaret Gray has just slapped Duck Buckward.
He said nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
He hasn't published anything or produced anything here in New
York for at least twenty years.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
He's a good.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Writer, but no one cares.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Would you shut up and get lost?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Mister Buckward? We don't, We don't need you any longer.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And so hey Buckward blow? Okay, yeah, you're gonna have it.
Why do you want the mint?
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Because my bront stinks?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Duck Buckward has been my guest and I slapped his
filthy mouth because he thought he'd be cute, and no
he wasn't. I'm Margaret Gray. I'm eating mince because I
have fetid breadth.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
You do not have to, Miss Gray, did not have
to admit that.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Back off, will you? Margaret?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Don't put your hands on him like that?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Might I do this?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
You pushed me?
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Watch this good? Oh? Just hit him in the nuts?
All right, I guess I'm gonna have to leave. There's Gray, O, man,
you almost give my mom.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And I kicked General Shaw on the balls because he
thought he was going to put the muscle on me.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
No no, no, no, no no no, Duck Buckward is
still duck. Would you bug off? Ooky?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
General Show? Do you want to stoo?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Yeah? I liked a sewer.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Oh, take it easy, it's not that bad. I'm the
one who's been made to look like a monkey.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Here.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I was squatting yesterday, literally squatting like the Chinese peasants
do when they're taking their lunch break. It looks as
if they're leaving themselves, but they're actually eating noodles.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Shit.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Ms.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Gray was squatting in that way for much of yesterday's show,
until finally we put a box under her.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Yes, but you.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Had no right to slide the box under me. Bud,
you give me the box, I'll do I'll slide it
under my.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Own rear end. Well, here comes General Shaw. How are
you feeling? I don't. I don't know. He got his
kicked and he's pissed off. I just do a man
walk by speaking some tongue i've never heard. Did you
hear that?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah? I believe it was good East Anglican or something.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
What do you mean East Anglican? You got your voice back? Yes?
I do?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
You know? Margaret, you're a woman. Otherwise I would have
picked you up and dropped you on your head right
in the middle of Eighth.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Avenue so Carr could hit me. Yeah, yeah, huh, yuh huh.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So you dropped me on my head so a truck
could roll over top of me, and my son might
read about it before actually being told by his father
to soften the blow. My son might read, Margaret Gray
dropped on her head at eighth Avenue and a truck
rolled right.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Over top of her. Excuse me over top of her? Yes,
something like that.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Okay, I think Phil Henry's going to hear the show
today and he's going to want to kill somebody.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
I'm General Galenshaw. We bring on now, Chris Norton, who
has another film in production. It was up to me.
I did promise Phil that you come on. Chris. How
are you?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I'm very good you have a new filb You know
I don't approve of the adult films that you create.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Well, Miser Gray, I've been on this program.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Wait wait a minute, I haven't stopped talking for christ
on a crutch. Margaret, relax, General, you see this, Why
don't you relax onto this? She's holding her thumb up.
I know I've seen you see you know you know
you haven't seen me see anything. Well you're actually a
general or relax on your thumb.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Chris Norton. Never mind, Chris Norton is here. What's the
name of your new film?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
A new film is called Ball four and I've only
got two.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Ball four and I've only got two What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Well, essentially, it's a film about a baseball star who
is also adult film performer. So he plays baseball and
then he nooss off for the afternoon and goes back
to his condo at ss So. In other words, this
is the same premise as the Mexican cannibal Mexican cannibal
zombie Holiday.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
What you did, Mexican cannibals. It was a bunch of
cannibals that knocked off for the day and went back
to the condo.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Well, yeah, they were, they were they take it easy man, Sorry,
those those was cannibals. Yeah, and they're eating people and
then okay, it's five o'clock, let's knock off and go
back to the condo and has us. So they went
back to their their zombie condo. Yeah, that was important.
Or Mexico in Mexico. Yeah, now you have ball four,
(22:27):
Ball four or four balls, Yeah, well, because basically it's
about two baseball players that had four balls who are
superstars in a sport. They hit a lot of home
runs and they strike out a lot of people, and
then they knock off for the day.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
They go back to the condo.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Let me, let me guess they're knock off for the
day and go back to the condo and have sex. Yeah, well,
I think okay, So thank you very much, Chris. We'll
look forward to that. People want to know more about it.
We're at Norton Splodes. That's Norton Splodes. It's Norton Splods Productions,
as well as Throb City Productions. It's called a ball
four or four balls.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Man? You try to do better? Getting better in my
sleep man?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yeah, all right, thanks a lot, Chris.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
What are you looking at I'm looking at you, Margaret.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
This show, in my opinion, mister Henry's gonna look listen, look, mister,
and he's gonna look, he listen, what's he gonna do.
He's gonna listen to this and he's gonna want to cry.
I think that's how bad it's been.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
The only thing bad about this show is I was
forced once again to squat on my haunches with my
rear end almost dragging on the cement.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, well, Margaret, you're the one that I'm the one
that what your show. You're wearing underwear.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
But yeah, and I didn't think that I was gonna
have to pull my skirt up and go. So I'm
sitting here, I should say, squatting here, my rear end
brushing the sidewalk. Everyone taking a look at what I got.
General Shaw's laughing.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Now.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
It rained briefly here in New York today and it
was nothing serious. But as you can hear behind me
lots of sirens. We thought we'd check him with Chase
Sanders of the Citizens au Zurich Police, who has been
here in New York City helping out with the New
York Pretend Police. Nice, he's your problem, I think the
(24:19):
whole idea of the New York Pretend Police.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
You know what I think of you? I don't you know?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Jay, Oh, Jay Santas the name. Who's the guy that
runs the New York Pretend Police. Well, it's actually a couple.
One of them is my good friend Rick Boloone. That's
the man Rick Boulogne, And this is the real man.
What take it easy market? So what is Bologne?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's difficult for us to say.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Is Rick Boulogne here? I'm sorry, Rick Boloone's not here
right now. Rick Bolone along with Dave. You know, I
guess you'll think I'm kidding here, but he's got the
head what they call the head Warrior of the New
York Pretend Police is Rick Bologne and his sub sub
which we call sub commander codependent warrior, the co war
(25:07):
is Dave is Dave mullone. And it kind of goes
like that. One of the things about the New York
for ten Police is all the names have to rhyme.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
All right, I don't want to be the takeoff general.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, I don't know if to sit listen of this,
what's his story?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
You understand that all of the names rhyme. That's correct.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Apparently the these are co warriors or the warrior warrior interlude.
These are the different ranks they have in the New
York for ten Police. Rick Boloone is master chef.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
And talking master chef. You know, is you looking like
a restaurant or something.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Yeah, I'm take it easy, We'll get But because Jay
is he's already he's starting to remove his pith helmet.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
What's that supposed to be me getting ready to rock
and roll.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I'm taking the pith helmet off and only take off
the shirt, so you're.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Gonna see, yeah, I'm gonna see how skinny your okay,
right now I'm getting flipped off. All right, stop it,
Jay k Fine. New York for ten Police also have
as their squadron, and these are the people that like
the Citizens Auxury Police, when we do our mobiles street
(26:16):
squad or street squak, what we're doing in New York
is what's called mobile street squad or street squeaky, sorry
wain squeak. This is a mobile street squad. The New
York for ten Police join up with us, and we
become that which knows no bounds. That's the official title.
When you hook up, when you hook up a New
York for ten Police and the Citizens Auxury Police squadrons,
(26:37):
it becomes that which knows no.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Bounds, that which knows no. Are you kidding or something?
Speaker 1 (26:42):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Now.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
First of all, you can hear the honking.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
What was the weather like today?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
The weather was wet and rick, Rick, So tell us
about what you guys are doing with today in New
York Potent Police. We were basically just had some traffic
and there was rain.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
H do you guys go there? I slept through most
of today. He slept through most of today. You are, Rick,
I'm fine? Okay?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So yeah, they The thing I want to say more
than anything else is that we respect in York for
Tend Police and Rick Bolone, uh Dave Malone read a
bone Loan. Who is rid a bone Loan? Excuse me,
but that she happens to be second command near Fortend Police.
You got Rick Boloone and Riad a bone Loan?
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Well, general, what's in your mind? What's in my mind
is the reality that these Jay It's tough enough accepting
you as something real. Now I got to accept it.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
What is that?
Speaker 3 (27:41):
It looks like, oh see he's giving you the finger.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
There's three fingers coming out of that cab.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
They're all directed in this way.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
So we are being flipped off by three different fingers.
Speaker 4 (27:51):
Are they three different people? Yes, they are.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
They're probably New Yorkers who recognize they feel they recognize
a general Shaw here in miss Green.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
The name is Margaret Gray.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I'm sorry, and Miss Gray. They recognize you as what
we call it, They recognize you as a three tea.
It's a turd, the three turds, turd one two three
one two three buckle my shoe?
Speaker 4 (28:13):
What is that again?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
The three t's the three turds. You, you and you?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
God you've got. Mister Bologna just went you, you and you.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
No, I did not, No, I did not.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
It did sound like it.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Well, who gives a shit?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
I don't want to be more of that language. Thank you,
mister boloone. Well Rick Bologne from the New York pretendient.
So while we harassed him, What have you been doing?
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Jay? What I have been doing is I have been
out with the citizens on Zouri Police in our move
in and move and we're moving in so we have
on our yellow range flickers on account it was, uh,
you know, raining today we did a sweep what's called
a move in sweep when we saw a look like
I don't know what it looked like. It is they
(28:55):
were selling food in a stand on the street. We
wanted to check out, make sure sure they had health
the restrictions and everything. What are you not going to
interfere with those people doing business?
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
We went in we said you have a health certificate,
and once again we were told, and only quote it.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
I've got it written down.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Here, go blow your grandfather. This was what a guy said.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
To me, Go blow your grandfather. That's right.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Thank you very much, Jaye. Well, thank you very much.
Jay signed us to the Citizens' Auxiliary Police. Let's go
tell me go blow grandfather. No, no way, no way,
no way. Well, the world famous Phil Henry Show executive
produced by Phil Henry, but seempre incorporated all rights preserved
on iHeart podcasts
Speaker 3 (29:39):
And Bud Dackman, you're what never mind
Hi, It's Phil Henry for the World Famous Phil Hendry
Show Backstage pass while we're here in New York. I
want to thank you all for hanging with us and
being backstage past members. If you're a backstage past member,
and if you're not, I'd like to invite you to
join our BSP family. We've been going strong since around
nineteen ninety nine thereabouts, and we feature thousands of hours
(00:23):
of our radio show as well as our NetCast, and
we communicate via the pre show where people hear me
talk about all kinds of things relative to the show.
It's a great way to kind of hang with our show,
the world Famous Phil Henry Show. And like I say,
I'm grateful for all of you guys. If you want
to get a subscription, you just check out our website,
Phil Hendryshow dot com. Less than ten dollars for a month,
(00:46):
less than seven dollars a month if you get a
year subscription, and with that money comes not only the
thousands of hours of our Hall of Fame radio show,
but also our podcasts, thousands of hours of video casts
of me performing the show. We have home movies, we
have podcasts from Bobby Dooley, Elcott the next step to
Milwaukee Lions, and a lot of short and long form
(01:07):
comedy that we've done down through the years. It's all
on our website. We think we've got a pretty big
archive comparatively speaking to other radio or you know, new
media shows. So join us, won't you at Phil Henryshow
dot com. That's Phil Hendryshow dot com. Get the backstage
pass subscription to our website, the greatest value online other
(01:27):
than porn.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yes, Hello, this is Margaret Gray from New York City
and I'm here hosting today's Phil Henry Show podcast. Phil
has just completed, along with his cast mates and other
performance of Tom Alpers the Pitch. Yes, I am here
on the streets of New York and yes, I'll be
perfectly honest with you because hold on, Bude, you hold
(01:52):
on Bud. Because there was a little bit of we
did get some emails and some controversy. People say, well,
and it was interesting. You know, people will say this
behind your back, will they say it to your face? Well,
I know there's a siren, would you Why did you
back off?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Alad?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And so they said in some of these emails that
they say behind you know, it's easy to eat email
someone and say.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm not even going to
dignify it.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Margaret was a lot of people wrote in and said, boy,
I wish I was there while you were squatting on
a box, the animation being that they wanted to look.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Up for can we happy? So anyway, I'm here.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We're on eighth Avenue where we were last night. Phil
has gone on ahead to get some sleep, I think,
is what he's saying. I guess I'll answer the question. Yes,
we are using different things to sit on. And again
I say the words sit on, as in sitting down
(02:56):
on something, not the way.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
This one here. I was only saying, mister, I'll go ahead.
General Phil insisted that Bud be here, that Margaret.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Would I got it.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Phil is off sleeping, and he said I could do
the show as long as Bud and the rest of
the crew were here.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
He didn't want any changes. But he did tell you, Bud,
he told me that I was.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
He didn't tell you that you get every time I
say the term when Margaret here, I got it. When
Margaret says sin on it or anything like that, Bud
is not allowed to laugh.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Did you understand that when mister.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Henry said that, Yes, sorry, I am also chewing on
some altoyds because I have I detected anyway, some fetid breath.
My breath has been bad, and I don't have a
problem talking about this. My breath has been bad, i'd
say the last fourteen hours. General, Well, I gotta you
(03:48):
don't have to tell us.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
What he said. He got a whiff of it.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Where did I tell you.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
She didn't hit him. I pushed you a little bit.
You're not allowed to. Oh you had to make a
big deal out of it, Bud, you pushed me.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I'm sorry you can't. My breath has been fetted. I
would say it's been even rank from I don't know
what the.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Coffee well, I think it's a combination of coffee not
brushing your teeth.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Excuse me, but I did not have the opportunity to
brush my teeth this morning.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Why are we even talking about this?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I got it. I'm Bud dickment.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Thing and we're here on the streets of New York. Yes, okay,
I'll go ahead and I'll continue what I was saying.
I'm not ashamed of most people. What is the hawking
going on? Is that the guy again. That's that same
cab driver from yesterday. Hey, up yours, No, let me
do it. Hey, you just sit on this. Huh this
what I'm pointing at, y'all.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Bet you would.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Vulgar, crude slob like some of the cab drivers here
in New York, not all of them. But a moment
ago this man drove by and he did recognize me,
right he did.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
He said, you, Margaret drag and msger. You ignored him.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I ignored him, but I nodded yes, or so you
didn't acknowledge it, yes, And that's when he said, I
got something for you.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I've got something for you to soon on.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Can we start this all over again?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah, let's roll big Hello on. Hi, I'm Margaret.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Wait a minute, I'm Margaret Gray from the streets of
New York. And that sounds bad too, because it sounds
like I'm walking them. It sounds like I'm walking the streets. Yeah, Like,
all I gotta do is show you a twenty dollars bill. Well,
you don't have to put it that way, you slob.
Let's take a break. Wipe that up there, wipe that
up there. I put my elbow in it.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What is it? It looks like it's apple juice or something.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
It's not apple juice, Oh god, some kind of proud
of it. Rotten fruit.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
They got a rotten tangerine here and something like it.
Oh God, I put my elbow right in that, Bud.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I don't love that it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
If we can get somebody to host this part of
the street off, that's good luck for that.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Three two one you and welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Back to the world famous Phil Henry Show. I'm Margaret Gray,
I'm General Gillonshaw, and Bud Dickman.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
And has gone ahead after a successful performance this evening
along with his wonderful cast mates of the Pitch at
the Actors Temple Theater on twenty seventh Street. We are
here on eighth because we've been allowed to sit here
where we've tried to stop. The problem is Phil's trying
to get some sleep up in his apartment, and so
(06:21):
in order to complete the show for tomorrow, we've have
to sort of got a mixshift and we've.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Had to just set the studio up where we can.
We got rid of the milk crates, a lot of
people will be happy to know, and we.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Have a this is a well it had diapers.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
I don't care if it had diapers. It's a box.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It's an empty box that used to have diapers in it.
But thinks that means that there's I think there's baby
shit out. I thought there might be baby shit.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
I cut all of that out.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, well sorry, and we found a very large and
substantial box.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Your arms and funny of them mouth.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I'm getting two altoids.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
As I was mentioning my breath because of coffee and
occasionally coffee and I truth be told.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
On the rare occasion, I smoke a pipe. Now, something
we haven't.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Really told, we really told a listener is that, Well,
I'm telling them now because I've had this.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Let me just double check my breath.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Oh god, God damn it, Margaret, hold on. So I
am eating altoids because my breath is I won't say
it's foul. But I smoke a pipe on a case
I had a couple of, so I smoke some of
the rum soaked tobacco. It's a pipe my father gave me.
And on rare occasions, I take a few hits on
(07:34):
a pipe.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
It's not narrow water or anything. No, it's not. It's tobacco.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
But you combine that with the fact that I did
not have an opportunity to brush my teeth. This morning,
I drank a couple of cups of coffee and yeah,
I keep blowing my breath into my hand and.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
It is Jesus, it's nothing that it's not.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Good, and that's why I Can you do me a favor?
Are we still recording? Yes, ma'am, I stopped the recording.
Get me an appointment with doctor Howser Bilberman.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Howser Bolger.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
No, I said Bober, and you know, I said Bober
Howser Bilberman. He's over on Kaleaney Hill in New Jersey.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, can I have the number?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Don't do it now? Sure there is a general Galen Shaw.
Margaret Gray is with us. She has been eating altoids,
and I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
And the reason why is because ordinarily I'm very careful
with my breath, but my breath has been foul and
fetted for three days and every time I go, huh,
if I breathe it into my hand to smell my breath,
I don't.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Even want to talk about it. This is hanging you up. Huh.
It's it's not making this easy to do right?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Well, it was Gray, I did get a I did
get a whiff of it.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I did get a whiff of it as you turned
and you and hey, bud eh, you know, and I
did it did?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
So so what? Oh? God, damn it.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Ordinarily I'm very pistials with my personal habits, ladies and gentlemen.
But as I say, coffee a couple of pups on
a pipe that I smoke, people think that that what
does that make me?
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Butcher?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Something of Margaret?
Speaker 4 (09:09):
You know? I love the misogyny, you know, don't you? Ladies?
Because I smoke a pipe. Well, how often do you
smoke the pipe? What business is it of yours?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You say that it gave you foul breadth?
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I smoke a.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Pipe once a month. If that it's something I shared
with my father, my dear departed father. He and I
would share a pipe.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Well, how old were you?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I was fifteen? What General Shaw's laughing?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Margaret Gray is now flipping me off, and she's walked
to the other side of missus Gray. We have a
show to do.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Mis Gray.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
She's flipping me off, holding her hand extending it out,
now both hands extending out, flipping me off. She's smiling.
She's waving them up and down. Jesus, all right, I'm done.
Do you get the message out?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Yes? You flip me off with both hands. Same.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I'm Margaret Gray. I don't know how much of this
Bud Dickman will be editing this. I shouldn't even say that, though.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah, because people will think it'll be it'll be, it'll
be edited.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Talk much, Margaret.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Just all right, This is Margaret Gray, and welcome again
to the world famous Phil Henry Show. We're in the
wonderful city of New York. Who did oh god, a
guy walked by and farted. A pedestrian walked by and just,
oh god, a man walked by and cut you know,
broke wind and the wind was just right, Yeah, it
(10:37):
blew back into the into the We're actually sitting here
in the steps of a closed store here on Eighth Avenue.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Ms.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Gray is, well, you're not squatting, but you're sitting. Your
knees are almost up to your chin.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I'm sitting on a short step. My knees are up
to my chin.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Thanks well, Margaret, you are so Her knees are almost
up to her chin. Mine are almost up to my chin.
And anyway, A guy just walked by and he cut. Yeah,
he did cut, he did cut wind, and it blew
just perfectly into Miss Gray's face.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Who all right, I'm better now. You can hear the
sirens in the background, the steps of people moving along
the avenue.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Here in New York.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I'm Margaret Gray, and this is the world famous Phil
Henry Show. When we talk about theater in New York,
I don't think there's too many people that skip over
the name Duck Buckward. Duck Buckward has been one of
our great playwrights, and most of what he's written has
he not yet been published, nor has it been put
(11:40):
on the stage.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
But I think people understand Duck well.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I hope so, because what I attempt to do is
right for the common man. And I insist that only
people are cast that I approve of and know where
the production process has slowed because I have exacting and
demanding standards.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
This is what I was trying to tell people. When
the name Duck Buckward is mentioned. Here in New York.
Everyone knows who thinks they're going to produce one of
your plays. They know that you'll be there.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I'm always at the elbow of anyone who's going to
produce a duck Buckword play what I call the duck
Buckward joint or the duck Buckward way. Mister Buckward, you
don't call me mister. You call me father Buckward. What
do you mean, Father Buckward? Don't ask, That's just I
(12:33):
prefer to be called father Buckword. Are you religious? Are
you in a are you in a religious order? No?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
My name is Duck Buckward. But if you want to
say excuse me, sir, simply say excuse me, father Buckward.
All right, Well, how many of your plays have actually
been performed?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
All of them have been performed, but in New York.
I don't want to put any of them on a
stage in New York until I'm assured of the what
I call the cleanliness, Till I'm assured that it is clean,
it's swept, it's been wiped down. There's not a theater
in New York that I think is worthy of a
(13:11):
Duck Buckward, of a duck Buckward project.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
And a lot of people are asking, then why would
you have this man on? Yes?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Can I interrupt? Are you going to ask why would
you have this man on your show? And the answer
is because Duck Buckward is because Duck Buckworth is because
there's no theater in New York without Duck Buckward.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Because I go from everything I see to every play
in New York. I go from theater to theater, and
I will watch each production, and I have extensive notes
for the actors and the directors and the people that
produce these plays. And when people see Duck Buckward coming
right down the street, so they'll be looking down the street,
(13:55):
there's no one. Then they see suddenly rounding the corner,
they'll see the very familiar checkered sports jacket and checker
slacks with a checkered shirt.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
This is the distinctive Duck Buckward. I look, by the way,
yes it is.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I wear a checkered sports jacket, checkered slacks. I have
a checkered and checkered socks. And then you wear these
what are these? What do they look like? Well, there's
sort of a boot, a half boot. They are a
half they're an iron what I call an Irish boot. Okay,
And you wear the big hat. I wear a large
checkered hat and sunglasses. And when you see Duck Buckward coming,
(14:29):
you better man. I don't know what to say.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
You better know that a theater expert is coming.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yes, did you see that? He just flipped me off
to Oh no, he's hung his Oh my god, we
got a guy. Okay, guy just drove by and hung it. Yeah,
let us say say go ahead for christ A guy
just drove by and hung his hung as his bear
bear rear end out. Is this the kind of thing
that you have on your show? Is great?
Speaker 4 (14:55):
What do you mean the thing? What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Well?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Why, I was invited to talk about the theo or
in New York and a guy just drove by and
shoved both cheeks and then put his hands and spread
the cheeks. So you're looking right up to god, damn,
that was.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Vulgar and vile.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Don't look at me. I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
I know that, duck Buckward.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Well, I now you mentioned.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Your breath, and I just yeah, I just got not much,
miss Gray, but I got a small, just a small
a breeze blew it into my face.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yes, as I said, I've been drinking coffee and I
smoked a pipe earlier, and I had onion soup last
night over here.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
At Thesi at Rosio gradies.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
But that's the stay of the restaurant of fifty first.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yes, and you put that all together with the pipe
onion soup. My I have stale breath and.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, I just yeah, let me just catch mine, let
me just oh you need do I need? What?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Bud shit down?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I've never done a radio interview where I'm sitting on
I'm sitting on the sidewalk. Here.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Do we have a chair here for mister Buckwood.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I've had plan on getting you a chair, mister Buckwood,
but unfortunately all we have is this. All he has
his box here is that's one of his Bounty towns on.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yeah, we got out of a supermarket.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I thought Ms Gray, you were doing much better in
the life.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
I am doing well in life. Buck Okay, Well, you're
sitting on a box.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
It says as it says diaper, and I'm gonna okay.
This is the world famous Phil Henry show. Sitting in
for Phil is Margaret Gray. Here's market.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Duck Buckward is my guest, and Duck has written how
many plays have you written?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Upwards of three hundred and around three hundred, four hundred,
three hundred to four hundred, all right, three hundred to
four hundred plays. None of them have been none of
them have been performed in New York. No, and yet
you see me around. If you are known far and
wide here in New York City, you go to different
meetings and you tell people how to do things out.
(17:00):
But I I don't want my plays to be on
stage in New York.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Well, why don't you tell the truth? What are you
talking about?
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Nobody wants to I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
No one really has any interest in putting your place
on because they don't understand them. They consider them to
be well. The New York magazine said that the duck
Buckward the duck Buckward method, as he calls it, is
to wipe.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
In such a way as to see a word on
the toilet paper. You see you see what I'm saying. Yeah,
that's terrible.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Just so I don't like you're writing.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Doesn't make any difference. Can I have another one of
those events? Because if I can smell my own breath,
a god by breath, mine too, well, I know that
I could smell you a block off. Oh god, damn you.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
I just slapped your stupid get your ass out of here.
You don't publish anything going No you're gonna hear from La,
I hope. So Margaret Gray has just slapped Duck Buckward.
He said nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
He hasn't published anything or produced anything here in New
York for at least twenty years.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
He's a good.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Writer, but no one cares.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Would you shut up and get lost?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Mister Buckward? We don't, We don't need you any longer.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And so hey Buckward blow? Okay, yeah, you're gonna have it.
Why do you want the mint?
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Because my bront stinks?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Duck Buckward has been my guest and I slapped his
filthy mouth because he thought he'd be cute, and no
he wasn't. I'm Margaret Gray. I'm eating mince because I
have fetid breadth.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
You do not have to, Miss Gray, did not have
to admit that.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Back off, will you? Margaret?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Don't put your hands on him like that?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Might I do this?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
You pushed me?
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Watch this good? Oh? Just hit him in the nuts?
All right, I guess I'm gonna have to leave. There's Gray, O, man,
you almost give my mom.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And I kicked General Shaw on the balls because he
thought he was going to put the muscle on me.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
No no, no, no, no no no, Duck Buckward is
still duck. Would you bug off? Ooky?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
General Show? Do you want to stoo?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Yeah? I liked a sewer.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Oh, take it easy, it's not that bad. I'm the
one who's been made to look like a monkey.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Here.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I was squatting yesterday, literally squatting like the Chinese peasants
do when they're taking their lunch break. It looks as
if they're leaving themselves, but they're actually eating noodles.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Shit.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Ms.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Gray was squatting in that way for much of yesterday's show,
until finally we put a box under her.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Yes, but you.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Had no right to slide the box under me. Bud,
you give me the box, I'll do I'll slide it
under my.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Own rear end. Well, here comes General Shaw. How are
you feeling? I don't. I don't know. He got his
kicked and he's pissed off. I just do a man
walk by speaking some tongue i've never heard. Did you
hear that?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah? I believe it was good East Anglican or something.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
What do you mean East Anglican? You got your voice back? Yes?
I do?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
You know? Margaret, you're a woman. Otherwise I would have
picked you up and dropped you on your head right
in the middle of Eighth.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Avenue so Carr could hit me. Yeah, yeah, huh, yuh huh.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So you dropped me on my head so a truck
could roll over top of me, and my son might
read about it before actually being told by his father
to soften the blow. My son might read, Margaret Gray
dropped on her head at eighth Avenue and a truck
rolled right.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Over top of her. Excuse me over top of her? Yes,
something like that.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Okay, I think Phil Henry's going to hear the show
today and he's going to want to kill somebody.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
I'm General Galenshaw. We bring on now, Chris Norton, who
has another film in production. It was up to me.
I did promise Phil that you come on. Chris. How
are you?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I'm very good you have a new filb You know
I don't approve of the adult films that you create.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Well, Miser Gray, I've been on this program.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Wait wait a minute, I haven't stopped talking for christ
on a crutch. Margaret, relax, General, you see this, Why
don't you relax onto this? She's holding her thumb up.
I know I've seen you see you know you know
you haven't seen me see anything. Well you're actually a
general or relax on your thumb.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Chris Norton. Never mind, Chris Norton is here. What's the
name of your new film?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
A new film is called Ball four and I've only
got two.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Ball four and I've only got two What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Well, essentially, it's a film about a baseball star who
is also adult film performer. So he plays baseball and
then he nooss off for the afternoon and goes back
to his condo at ss So. In other words, this
is the same premise as the Mexican cannibal Mexican cannibal
zombie Holiday.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
What you did, Mexican cannibals. It was a bunch of
cannibals that knocked off for the day and went back
to the condo.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Well, yeah, they were, they were they take it easy man, Sorry,
those those was cannibals. Yeah, and they're eating people and
then okay, it's five o'clock, let's knock off and go
back to the condo and has us. So they went
back to their their zombie condo. Yeah, that was important.
Or Mexico in Mexico. Yeah, now you have ball four,
(22:27):
Ball four or four balls, Yeah, well, because basically it's
about two baseball players that had four balls who are
superstars in a sport. They hit a lot of home
runs and they strike out a lot of people, and
then they knock off for the day.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
They go back to the condo.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Let me, let me guess they're knock off for the
day and go back to the condo and have sex. Yeah, well,
I think okay, So thank you very much, Chris. We'll
look forward to that. People want to know more about it.
We're at Norton Splodes. That's Norton Splodes. It's Norton Splods Productions,
as well as Throb City Productions. It's called a ball
four or four balls.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Man? You try to do better? Getting better in my
sleep man?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yeah, all right, thanks a lot, Chris.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
What are you looking at I'm looking at you, Margaret.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
This show, in my opinion, mister Henry's gonna look listen, look, mister,
and he's gonna look, he listen, what's he gonna do.
He's gonna listen to this and he's gonna want to cry.
I think that's how bad it's been.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
The only thing bad about this show is I was
forced once again to squat on my haunches with my
rear end almost dragging on the cement.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, well, Margaret, you're the one that I'm the one
that what your show. You're wearing underwear.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
But yeah, and I didn't think that I was gonna
have to pull my skirt up and go. So I'm
sitting here, I should say, squatting here, my rear end
brushing the sidewalk. Everyone taking a look at what I got.
General Shaw's laughing.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Now.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
It rained briefly here in New York today and it
was nothing serious. But as you can hear behind me
lots of sirens. We thought we'd check him with Chase
Sanders of the Citizens au Zurich Police, who has been
here in New York City helping out with the New
York Pretend Police. Nice, he's your problem, I think the
(24:19):
whole idea of the New York Pretend Police.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
You know what I think of you? I don't you know?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Jay, Oh, Jay Santas the name. Who's the guy that
runs the New York Pretend Police. Well, it's actually a couple.
One of them is my good friend Rick Boloone. That's
the man Rick Boulogne, And this is the real man.
What take it easy market? So what is Bologne?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's difficult for us to say.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Is Rick Boulogne here? I'm sorry, Rick Boloone's not here
right now. Rick Bolone along with Dave. You know, I
guess you'll think I'm kidding here, but he's got the
head what they call the head Warrior of the New
York Pretend Police is Rick Bologne and his sub sub
which we call sub commander codependent warrior, the co war
(25:07):
is Dave is Dave mullone. And it kind of goes
like that. One of the things about the New York
for ten Police is all the names have to rhyme.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
All right, I don't want to be the takeoff general.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, I don't know if to sit listen of this,
what's his story?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
You understand that all of the names rhyme. That's correct.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Apparently the these are co warriors or the warrior warrior interlude.
These are the different ranks they have in the New
York for ten Police. Rick Boloone is master chef.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
And talking master chef. You know, is you looking like
a restaurant or something.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Yeah, I'm take it easy, We'll get But because Jay
is he's already he's starting to remove his pith helmet.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
What's that supposed to be me getting ready to rock
and roll.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I'm taking the pith helmet off and only take off
the shirt, so you're.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Gonna see, yeah, I'm gonna see how skinny your okay,
right now I'm getting flipped off. All right, stop it,
Jay k Fine. New York for ten Police also have
as their squadron, and these are the people that like
the Citizens Auxury Police, when we do our mobiles street
(26:16):
squad or street squak, what we're doing in New York
is what's called mobile street squad or street squeaky, sorry
wain squeak. This is a mobile street squad. The New
York for ten Police join up with us, and we
become that which knows no bounds. That's the official title.
When you hook up, when you hook up a New
York for ten Police and the Citizens Auxury Police squadrons,
(26:37):
it becomes that which knows no.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Bounds, that which knows no. Are you kidding or something?
Speaker 1 (26:42):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Now.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
First of all, you can hear the honking.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
What was the weather like today?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
The weather was wet and rick, Rick, So tell us
about what you guys are doing with today in New
York Potent Police. We were basically just had some traffic
and there was rain.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
H do you guys go there? I slept through most
of today. He slept through most of today. You are, Rick,
I'm fine? Okay?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So yeah, they The thing I want to say more
than anything else is that we respect in York for
Tend Police and Rick Bolone, uh Dave Malone read a
bone Loan. Who is rid a bone Loan? Excuse me,
but that she happens to be second command near Fortend Police.
You got Rick Boloone and Riad a bone Loan?
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Well, general, what's in your mind? What's in my mind
is the reality that these Jay It's tough enough accepting
you as something real. Now I got to accept it.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
What is that?
Speaker 3 (27:41):
It looks like, oh see he's giving you the finger.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
There's three fingers coming out of that cab.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
They're all directed in this way.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
So we are being flipped off by three different fingers.
Speaker 4 (27:51):
Are they three different people? Yes, they are.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
They're probably New Yorkers who recognize they feel they recognize
a general Shaw here in miss Green.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
The name is Margaret Gray.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I'm sorry, and Miss Gray. They recognize you as what
we call it, They recognize you as a three tea.
It's a turd, the three turds, turd one two three
one two three buckle my shoe?
Speaker 4 (28:13):
What is that again?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
The three t's the three turds. You, you and you?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
God you've got. Mister Bologna just went you, you and you.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
No, I did not, No, I did not.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
It did sound like it.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Well, who gives a shit?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
I don't want to be more of that language. Thank you,
mister boloone. Well Rick Bologne from the New York pretendient.
So while we harassed him, What have you been doing?
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Jay? What I have been doing is I have been
out with the citizens on Zouri Police in our move
in and move and we're moving in so we have
on our yellow range flickers on account it was, uh,
you know, raining today we did a sweep what's called
a move in sweep when we saw a look like
I don't know what it looked like. It is they
(28:55):
were selling food in a stand on the street. We
wanted to check out, make sure sure they had health
the restrictions and everything. What are you not going to
interfere with those people doing business?
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
We went in we said you have a health certificate,
and once again we were told, and only quote it.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
I've got it written down.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Here, go blow your grandfather. This was what a guy said.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
To me, Go blow your grandfather. That's right.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Thank you very much, Jaye. Well, thank you very much.
Jay signed us to the Citizens' Auxiliary Police. Let's go
tell me go blow grandfather. No, no way, no way,
no way. Well, the world famous Phil Henry Show executive
produced by Phil Henry, but seempre incorporated all rights preserved
on iHeart podcasts
Speaker 3 (29:39):
And Bud Dackman, you're what never mind
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