Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My This is Roy Huggins.
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I'm the next door neighbor of Steve Bozell, and I
want to encourage you all to get a backstage pass.
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A subscription to the Phil Henry Show website.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I had no idea that this was even a thing,
and Steve played some of the material from the website
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he has on the website the very famous they tell
me time when I.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Told Steve, you know, what do you do with you?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
K y jelly for fourth for the New Year's Eve,
You're in You're sick, sick.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Mand It's Steve Bozell.
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Thanks Roy, you will and get a backstage pass to
the world famous Phil Henry Show with Phil henrishow dot com, ring, radio,
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Speaker 1 (00:47):
The following is a world famous Hill and Rachel encore
presentation and now more from Jays of the Citizens Auxiliary
Police with a special guests Major Elvis Newton and lou Newton.
The Newton Thank you and welcome another edition here of
(01:11):
Jay Sanos and the Citizens Auxury Police Ano that we
were on last night with mister Henry, or yesterday with
mister Henry, and we're back today and we have very
exciting news because this will be for the second time
in two years. The week of December second, it'll be
fan out, spread out with me, Jay Santos. So the
citizens Augxury Police as we spread out on the week
(01:35):
of December second, it's going to be fan out with me,
Jay Santos. And what we do is the citizens of
Auxury Police subcommanders fan out and spread out into all
the neighborhoods of the South Bay in the Los Angeles
area in southern California, all the cities of Torrents and Hawthorne,
Rancho Palace, rodes Hermosa Beach, Ronano Beach, all those places.
(01:57):
Can I interrupt for just a you know, General, I
just guess you. I gotta say one thing, Jay, go ahead.
I live in Rancho Palace, Verdi's Estates, and if you
think you're coming into my house and looking at my
wife's underwear, you just give it a rest. Okay. If
I could just say, General, this is major Newton. Yeah,
I can see that. Look, if you want to go,
(02:20):
let me tell you something major. You guys come into
my house looking at my wife's underwear. We're not did
I see anything? Well, look at your wife's underware. You
know what. Tell me where you live, and we will
make sure we don't live your wife's I don't want
to look at your wife's underware. Do you think about that?
Which that's supposed to mean? Oh my god, you don't
want us to look at your wife's underwear. You want
us to look at your underwear? No, I don't. All right,
(02:41):
give us your address and we'll avoid looking at your underwear,
even though compromises the safety of the neighborhood. It really does.
Oh my ass, let me Can I get back to this?
Thank you very much? God damn yellow. Yeah, yeah, you've
got some real squirrels here anyway. If you want to
see a squirrel, go ahead and pull out your nuts.
What they Oh my god, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, Yeah, where
(03:05):
manais the citizens general? I would think you'd be a
little bit more growing up about it. No one calls
me a squirrel and gets away with it, all right.
I'm sorry. God, if you want to see a squirrel,
show me your nuts. That's what I said. Don't wear
it out anyway. All of the South Bay communities. Did
we go? And then we and we fan and we
(03:26):
fan it out, you know, and just spread out and
when you think about it, and I have with me
Major Elvis Newton, Major Knwton. How are you, sir, I'm
very good. Thank you for doing this, Jay, I'm overwhelmed.
Thank you sir for the founding of the Citizens Augustury Police.
And also with me today is Lou Newton, the Newton,
my son, Hey doing Newton. You can't see Newton. You
(03:47):
had to say hello, how you doing? Lou Newton? Words
to say hello the Newton. I'm sorry I forgot to
say the Newton. Yes, always referred to my son as
the Newton because he's the Arab. That's right, Okay, that's wonderful,
and I'm very happy to have you with us here,
the Newton, along with Major Elvis Newton, who is the
(04:08):
founder and leader of the Citizens Auxiary Police. Now we
are going, Yes, sir, I hadn't finished talking. Oh I'm sorry,
go ahead. Yes. The spread out with and fan out
with Jay Sandos was designed by me, meticulously by me
and my wife Bellunia, also the Newton's mother. She and
I sat down one night and with pen and paper,
(04:31):
sculpted it out and drew a map, a map of
what we called the perfect fan out. We wanted to
get all these neighborhoods, Jaye, and in these neighborhoods, you
and all the other sub commanders would go door to door,
checking underwear drawers, seeing what was in them, seeing what
was what families were at risk, who was pushing the envelope,
(04:54):
who was well within the norms. Because it's important to
point out that fan out spread out with Jay Santas
the in auxury police, which is the fan out? You know, yes,
it's the fan out, but you should not be redundant.
Uhould say spread out and fan out with Jay Santos,
citizens auxury Police as we go door to door going
through underwear drawers. Oh that's a good point. Did you
(05:16):
hear what the Newton just said? Yes, Sir, I heard it,
But I think it's very it's it's very what he's
never liked me, sir, it's it's it's what are you
trying to say, Jay, I'm just saying, that's a very
long title, Sir. I think we can get by with
just spread out and fan out with Jay Santos, the
citizens auxury police. And then in the subtext or excuse me,
in the in the when when we explain it. Okay,
(05:37):
that's that's fair enough. Well, sir, sir, I don't think
that'll look at the Newton. Why don't you sit down
and I bought you here's some cornuts. You like those? Right?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I do?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah, there's three bags of cornuts. Go right ahead, Jaye.
So anyway, thank you, sir.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
The citizens auxury police will be will be will spank out,
not spank out, we will the Newton shut up or
I'll strangle you. Well, shut up or I will strangle
Go ahead, jay, the citizen's auxury police. We'll be fanning
out and spreading out with me, Jay Santos the week
of December second. In the South Bay area, if you
(06:14):
live in those communities that we mentioned, all the way
on to the South Bay is bordered on the north
and the west basically by the Pacific Ocean, and in
the city of Los Angeles, it's bordered on the south
and the east by the Pacific Ocean and the city
of Los Angeles. But it's a compact area that we
call home. Yes, indeed we do. And my wife Balloonia
(06:36):
and I purchased our home in nineteen fifty nine when
I came home from service in Germany in the United
States Army and decided this would be where I would
make my stand as a true blue citizen of our
country and a defender of the peace at home. Sir,
we appreciate every day you did it that you done,
(06:57):
did that. Thank you? So she wants me to explain, Yes,
explain to the people now, Jay, what fan out and
spread out with Jay Sanders So the citizens of auxiliary
police means and Roman hero some notes that the BALLOONA made.
Thank you? What fan out spread out means? We're going
door to door in groups of three or four sub
commanders sometimes maybe be just two, maybe just maybe maybe
(07:18):
just two of us. I am very, very gratified to
know that walking the first neighborhoods in Hawthorne with me
will be Major Elvis Newton, just the two of us. Right. Well,
when you say just the two of us, I don't
want it to sound like we're walking down the street
copping each other's ass. I told you to shut up.
He's just laughing at you, sir. I've got it. What
did I tell you? The Newton? Sorry, you left. You
(07:41):
left the way your mother laughs after she came home.
When they did the procedure, I don't want to get
into it. Well, I certainly didn't just sound like that, Sir,
I unders did it. But Major Elvis Newton and myself
will be walking the first neighborhoods in Hawthorne on Fan
Out and spread Out Night December the second of twenty
twenty four this year. We'll be introducing ourselves and saying
(08:04):
we would love to come in and inspect all underwear
drawers in your domicile. As citizens auxili police, of course,
we do have citizens arrest powers, and if we feel
there is a threat to the community at large, we
do have the right to do what we call a
spin move. That is, we point in one direction and say, hey,
(08:25):
look at that, and then we spin the opposite direction.
Next thing you know, we're inside the house. Once we're inside,
then we may say, well, as long as we're here,
we'd like to inspect all underwear drawers here and anywhere
in the area. Right if we're on the ground, for
it's a two story, say I inspect underwear. I want
to see your underwear now. And now all we need
(08:47):
say is get your pants off. I want to look
at your underwear. That means we'd like to inspect your
underwear drawer. That legally, as we are told by our attorneys.
The only thing we need to say. So when you
hear a citizen's auxili police officer who has done the
spin move is now in your home and he says,
pull your pants down, I want to, you know, get
right up in there and take a look at your underwear.
What he's saying is, where is your underwear drawer? I
(09:10):
want to inspect it. If you give us any pushback,
if you're in, if we're in the home, remember that
spread out and fan out with Jay Santas. It's going
to be a fun thing. It's going to be great
for a community. It's going to be fun for all,
for me, for me to you.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
So when you go and we've had this happen in
the past, Hey, you're in my house. Get out of
my house. I have to, I said, I explained. I
did explain the spin move. I explained. So, yes, what
I do is I just spin to my right and
I'm in. I say to them, I did I did
a spin move. I'm in. Get your pants off. I
want to look at your underwear. You know, maybe that's
(09:45):
not all. And most of the time people say, oh, okay,
you know, now, what are we looking for. What we're
looking for when we look at the underwear drawer. Are
we looking for underwear that we think is provocative, underware
that is going to show it all? You know, We're
looking for underwear that could be a problem in community
in future dates if, for instance, you are in a
(10:07):
fire or in an accident and they have to take
your pants off and there you have underwear that's basically
just a jockstrap and the you know, dental floss up
the rear. This is going to be a problem if,
for whatever reason, if you are wearing this around the
house and people see through the back, like someone who's
cleaning your pool or a gardener, and you're walking around
with your underwear way down, way way down, that's a problem.
(10:31):
So what we're saying is you're taking too much speed
it up, will you? For christ? Yeah I was going
to say that major Oh shut up. Okay, So anyway,
what we want to do is check the underwear drawers
make sure. And also the other thing is if your
underwear is dirty. If we're looking at some skid marks
in there. We got problem here. Now, what is the
problem with skid marks? The problem with that is that
you're wearing dirty underwear to work and it's gonna it's
(10:55):
not a good situation. Anything from people notice the smell
to you know, you're scratching your People with dirty generally
will reach down. That's the thing that Yeah, that was
the thing that bothered me. People will reach down, dig
right into their pants and scratch the ass. Yes, yes,
and we can't have that. We can't have that at all.
(11:15):
I'm Major Elvis Newton and I am briging your Admirald
Jay Santos, And this is a special edition of Jay
Santos Citizens Luxury Police Report. As we talk about, spread
out and fan out with me, Jay Santos, December the second,
all through the South Bay area, the Citizens Luxury Police
will be spreading out and fanning out, knocking on your
(11:37):
doors and asking to see your underwear? Right, what are
you looking at? Nothing? Father? I just wonder the feasibility
of this. You know what the Newton? There are days
that I wish I would have made Jay the Newton.
That's right, what are you laughing at? You wouldn't dare
my mother Balloonia? Well, what has Balloonia got to do
(11:58):
with it? My mother Balloonia is a co author of
the articles of the Citizens of or Xuri Police. Father
wouldn't my father would make no move. My mother has
my father's balls right in the palm of her hand.
She squeezes. He's walking around going, Hi, what are you
laughing at? You know what? Let's set You're right, I'm sorry.
(12:20):
Let's just talk about what we're going to do there
on the week of the second in December there as
we get out, fan out and spread out for fan
out and spread out with me and Jay Shannas the
week of December.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Second, Hi, this is Subcommander Gleason. Well, we go into
your neighborhood and we spread out. We'll knock on the door.
We'll say hi, I'm Subcommander Gleason of the Citizens on
Zuri Police. May I come in and look at your
underwear drawer. Here's why I want to do that. You
have crusting and skid marks. If it's thirty it could
(12:58):
be a type of underwear that webaka deviv. It could
be the type of underwear that with no thinking on
your part, guys are looking you up and down. You
know that is provoking people to want to break into
your house and look at your ass even more closely
than all Eric, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
That was Subcommander Gleason, Thank you very much for that,
sub Commander Gleason. Major Ninten. The fan out and spread
out has been deeply, deeply embedded in the DNA of
the citizens Auxury Police. We have done weekly walks along
the sidewalks in front of department stores asking to look
(13:38):
into the bags, the underwear bags of many people, yes,
a lot of them women. Occasionally they're underage, at which
point we'll back off and simply give them a warning
saying that underwear is probably going to create quite a
disturbance somewhere down the road here. Now, what we do
tell people is if we can look at your underwear.
(13:58):
It's hard to explain, it really really is hard to explain,
but it's something. It's one of the foundational principles of
the city of the Citizens Auxilary Police. One of the
things when people think of the citizens on Augxiary Police
we think about, we think about the fan out that's
correct on the spread out and the spread out. We
think about the coning down cone drops, Yes, and we
(14:19):
think about underwear inspection and a fan out. Yes, the
inspection of underwear has been critical in the development of
the Citizen's Auxiliary Police. I've never appreciated. I think it
sounds stupid. I didn't ask your opinion, did I did I? No, sir, Yes,
the citizens Auxury Police has had a vested interest in
(14:43):
looking at underwear and looking in the underwear drawers of
people in the South Bay area because the wrong pair
of underwear that's been slipped slipped on over, the wrong
pair of underwear on the wrong on, the wrong pair
of on the wrong asked buttock, asked, that's right. There
a problem. Yes, when you have a person that is
(15:04):
criminally prone, prone to exhibitionism, prone to indecency, and you
put on that person, you slip up over the legs
and over the ass pardon my language, slip up of
the legs and the buttock of that person the wrong
kind of underwear. Now you've got a situation. You've got
a situation that could spend our control and just be
(15:28):
he boy, I wouldn't want to you want to comment
on it? The Newton uh huh, Well, with the wrong
kind of underwear slipped on the wrong ass. It's wow.
I don't even want to think about it. There there
you go, Yeah, right there, that's the kind of thinking
I want from you, Sir Jay. This is Jay Santos
of the Citizens Auxury Police, and this is the Jay
(15:50):
Santos Special Report with Major Elvis Newton. We also have
the Newton Lou Newton with us, and of course we
have in the field Subcommander Gleason. As we talk talk
about the big fan out and spread out with me,
Jay Santas of the Citizens Auxiliary Police on December two,
chegging underwear and looking in the underwear drawer. I'm Major
(16:11):
Elvis Newton will be right back after these special messages
here on the Phil Henry Show platform. Hi am the Newton.
I am the son of Major Elvis Newton. My name
is Lou Newton. I'm the heir apparent. I'm going to
be inheriting the leadership role in the Citizens Auxiliary Police.
I will reserve judgment on what I think about the
fan out and the spread out, but I can tell
(16:32):
you God forbid my father goes anytime soon. But once
he does, there's going to be a lot of changes
around here. Yeah, go sit in the car oh Man,
sit in the car. Jay, Thank you very much. Major Newton.
The Citizens Auxiary Police asks you, no, we request, we
(16:53):
encourage you to get a backstage pass to the world
famous Phil Henry Show. It's incredible. There is sixty thousand
hours of audio and a lot of that involves myself,
Major Elvis Newton and the goings ons and the doings
and the stuff and the going You know that we
do that, that we've done that, we did do that,
(17:13):
we did do as members of the Citizens Uxury Police.
All of those hours are there, going back many many years,
and you can listen to those, listen to all of
the great interviews mister Henry's done at Phil Henryshow dot com.
Get a backstage past today. You will love it. Oh God, God,
you will love it so much. Yes, a backstage pass
(17:34):
at the world famous Phil Henry Show. Take it from me,
Major Elvis Newton. It is something you need for your family,
for your well being, for your peace of mind, so
that you can come home and see your children doing
their homework, your husband making your dinner, and you're not
coming home to something out of the Manson family. Oh
(17:55):
my God, Get a backstage pass to the world famous
face Lenary Show now at Phil everyshow dot com, the
greatest value online other than porn. I didn't mean to
say that. I got carried away and welcome back to
Phil Henry Show. Actually, this is the Jay Santa citizens
(18:16):
Urie Police Report with me Jay Santas. I'm joined in
studio by Major Elviis Newton. Out in the field, we
have we have a subcommander Gleasing and we're talking about
fan Out twenty twenty four. It has found out twenty
twenty four with me Jay Sandos, and I was going
to talk to you about that because when I go
to promote it on different programs, I sound like some
(18:38):
kind of a mental retard. You know. Well, we don't
want to use that terminology. I'm sorry, I forgive me,
but I'm going to be going here on the Zut
and Boris Show in about twenty five minutes, the Morning
show up here in Ventura. I have never heard of it. Well, okay, well,
if you're you man, you you really are out of
the loop, aren't you? Who is it? Anyway, I'm going
(19:01):
to be going on their show and I'm going to
be saying join us on December tewod for fan Out
and spread out with me, Jay Sanders, of the citizens
of Uxurrey Place. So I'm saying right, it's the name
of it, but it sounds it sounds idiotic when I
say it with me. My name is Major Elvers Newton. Oh, well,
you know we could. Well. I don't want to change
it or anything. I thought. I told you to sit
(19:24):
in the car. Father, I just want to say one thing.
Why not call it what it should be called? The
fan out and spread out with Major Elvis Newton? Because
I'm the host of it and I'm the one. Well, yes,
because Jay's the host of it. But you and mother,
you and my mother developed it. Yes, it is true, Jay,
that it was the brainchild primarily of Balloonia. Jesus, he's great.
(19:50):
I told you that I wouldn't laugh when I heard
the name Balloonia if you would allow this to be
named after me, didn't I? Yes, why would you laugh? Balloonia?
Oh listen to this guy's voice. Did you hear that
the Newton I did Balloonia. I don't need that, Jay,
not now, not at this time in my life. All right, fine,
(20:10):
so why don't you call it this? Well? Wait, you're
not telling me what to do are you no, sir,
I'm suggesting. I'm suggesting you cut you say, well, wait, father,
I have some thoughts. The Newton go back in the car.
Oh shit, go back in the car. Go ahead. I'm
thinking fan out and spread out with me, Major Elvis Newton,
because you're going to be with me as we walk
(20:31):
that first street. That is true. Yes, Jay and I
will be partnering up and we will be going door
to door looking through people's underwear drawers, making surant even
in some instances, asking people to pull their pants down
so that we can see what's going on. We have
a call in here. This is a sub commander glease
and go ahead and sub manor Gleason.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Yes. A lot of people are saying that they will
rea if you come into their home and you pull
their pads down to check their underwear. They'll react violently.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
That's when the three step takedown comes in.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
I try to explain that to them, and I laughed
about it.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
The three step takedown is simply, if Major Elvis Newton
and I were together at home, I would kneel down
behind the person. Major Newton would be engaging them. Then
he'd shove them and they'd fall over top of me.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
But that didn't scare them.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
It didn't scare them. You tell them it's called You
tell them that the three ST is on its way,
three ST, the three step takedown.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Oh oh yes, okay, I bet I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Well, what's the are people giving you pushback?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
They're saying, oh, I'm saying that they don't want to
open the door for people that got to be looking
at otherwhere.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
You tell them that this is a safety measure, but
that has been preordained by me, Major Elvis Newton, along
with counsel from Balloonia Newton. You tell them that, yes, sir,
so a lot of people, I'm sure a Newton, a
lot of people are absolutely down. They're down with it.
(22:05):
I think a lot of people will be done with it.
And I don't mean the clap. All right, let's get
a phone call, Derek. Let's get a phone call.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
Now.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
We have Duffy in Hawthorne. Duffy, Hi, you're on citizens,
Auxury Police, the assistants Auxury. Please showed me deb with me.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Jay SAMs, Yeah, thanks for finally spitting that out. Listen,
mister Santos, I don't know you and my wife and
I are new to the area. We moved here from Austin,
Texas about three months ago. So I don't know what
is the story here, but I can assure you you're
not coming into my home and looking at my underwear.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Sir, you're new to southern California. Yes, okay, this is
a standing order from the citizens. We knock on the
door and we say, and we are very gracious. We
don't push around anybody. We say we'd like to look
at your underwear. Yes, and I would say no, yeah,
but we do it in a charming way. We do
a spin move.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
I heard about this spin move.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, I'll say, hey, what's that It looks like Superman.
I'll spin. I'll go hey, And the next thing you know,
yes and you don't, he'll be standing behind you and
you'll swear to Almighty God that he's a vampire. He
moved that fast.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Well, how is this going to get me? How is
this going to convince me to show to show you
my underwear drawer. I didn't even think I have one
underwear drawer. I think I've got three or four.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Well, whatever, where are you keep your unerware? Wherever you
keep your own wear? Okay, what did you say, wherever
you keep your underware, your wife has an ourware drawer.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
You better believe she does. You guys going to you're
not gonna You're not gonna go in there. You're not
going to go in there.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Well, sir, we need to look and see if the
underwear that she's wearing is something that's potentially divisive, inflammatory
or we'll inflame it. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
You guys come into my house, look it, sir.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Don't get muscly with us. We're the citizen's AUXILARI police. Okay,
you get the three step takedown and then what's called
the two finger reminder? What is that? Oh, this guy's
never seen three stooges. You've never seen three stooges where
they do the two fingers.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
So you guys are gonna kneel down behind me, push
me over, and then poke my eyes like the three stooges.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
It's called a two finger reminder, the two fingered reminder. Sir,
I guarantee you'll be a good boy.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
No, no, you guys come into my house. I'll get
my gun.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Well, there you go, gentlemen. Who is we were kind
of clearing it up for him a lot of people
have to have it cleaned up and cleared up. Yes, father,
I think that there is an awful lot wrong with this.
If that man's going to get a gun and go
back to the car, the Newton, that's the Newton, ladies
and gentlemen. My son teld you you go back to
the car. Why don't you fuck off the Newton? What
(24:47):
did you say?
Speaker 4 (24:48):
What did you say to me?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Told you to fuck off my news. The Newton apologized,
I'm sorry, eh Day, you need the news now. You'll
be lucky if he doesn't press charges. I said, I'm sorry,
Oh Jay man up, sorry about that. You and I
canna have a commutation. Whatever, let me take over. You
(25:14):
sound like you're walking around with your finger buried in
your nose. Well, I didn't begin.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
He hit me.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
You put your hands on him. This is major Elvis
Newton reminding you all that on December the second, it
will be fan out, spread out and fan just fan
it back in with me, down to be with with me,
bring it air, Admiral J. Santos, and with me, boy,
that is dumb. Well, it's not as dumb as the
(25:41):
way you look right now. Well, your nose is getting
bigger for the second man. Yes, this has been the
Citizens Auxiliary Police Report with Jase Santos and Major Elvis
Newton from the Citizens Auxiliary Police. Don't forget on December
the second, it will be fan out and spread out
(26:02):
with me Jay Santos and me Major Elvis Newton. I'm
neither one of them, but that's what it's called. The
World Famous Phil Henry Show is executive produced by Phil Henry,
who's nowhere to be found tonight. I'm actually the one
producing this thing, produced for CMPRED Incorporated. All you know
what I'm saying, I'm year, I'm oh, shut up, shut up. Yeah,
(26:33):
all right, uh huh