August 14, 2025 • 42 mins
All summer long, we’re bringing back some of our most-loved episodes from the This Organized Life archives—because let’s be honest, good conversations deserve a second (or third) listen.
One of the questions that I often get from listeners is “how do I avoid conflict as we blend our households?”Whether you are talking about physical stuff, which pots and pans should we keep?To deeper conversations surrounding the habits and routines you plan on implementing in your new life together. Between the overflow of physical items, to the practical side of chores, expectations, and family dynamics-blending families is more than just organizing the linen closet.
Joining me today is one of our SBO Partners, Kim Snodgrass, founder of Rustic Home Organizing in Portland, OR. Kim is a mom to 3 girls and has first hand experience blending families-something she talks candidly about on the show. During our conversation Kim shares her story of marriage, divorce, moving across the country and the importance of communication.
One of the questions that I often get from listeners is “how do I avoid conflict as we blend our households?”Whether you are talking about physical stuff, which pots and pans should we keep?To deeper conversations surrounding the habits and routines you plan on implementing in your new life together. Between the overflow of physical items, to the practical side of chores, expectations, and family dynamics-blending families is more than just organizing the linen closet.
Joining me today is one of our SBO Partners, Kim Snodgrass, founder of Rustic Home Organizing in Portland, OR. Kim is a mom to 3 girls and has first hand experience blending families-something she talks candidly about on the show. During our conversation Kim shares her story of marriage, divorce, moving across the country and the importance of communication.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to This Organized Life. If you're a mom, wife,
or coffee lover seeking advice on how to reduce clutter
and reclaim time, look no further than your host, Louri Hellau,
Founder Simply Be Organized and author of Hot Mess, a
practical guide to getting organized. For a lot of people,
clutter is their dirty little secret, but it doesn't have
to be. Each week, we will share.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Practical tips, chat with experts.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And provide strategies on how.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
To keep you organized.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I hope that by sharing our stories you feel a
little less alone and more empowered to tackle the areas
that are holding you back. So let's get started.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Hi everybody, and welcome to today's episode of This Organized
Life podcast. I'm your host, Lori Palau, and I am
so excited that you are joining us. If you are
new to our show, welcome. We drop new episodes every
single Thursday, and we have since twenty seventeen, which is
like crazy time to think about out and we talk
(01:01):
about all things organizing. We talk about physical organizing of spaces,
we talk about emotional clutter and how to get rid
of it. We talk about schedules and productivity, all of
the things.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
So really our goal is to.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Give you tips, strategies, and have you learned from people
who have either been there, done that, or experts in
a certain topic. And today I'm really excited to talk
about this because this is an area that I don't
personally have a lot of experience in, so I really
had to look outside into my network of people to say,
who will be a good person to talk to about
(01:37):
this topic. And what we're going to be talking about
is blended families. And we've done some episodes before where
we've talked about things kind of in a top line basis,
but I really wanted to dive into the nuts.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
And bolts of blending households.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
And when you're blending households, it's not just the personalities
that are blending, but you're also blending stuff, bringing in two.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
Of everything from households.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Then if you are blending in families with kids, it
is parenting responsibilities. And I set this chore expectation, but
you might not and how do you navigate that? Because again,
so much about living an organized life has to do
with healthy communication, and when you're blending people that came
from different life experiences, sometimes that can be challenging. So today,
(02:26):
joining me is one of our SBO partners, Kim Snodgrass.
And Kim is in the Portland, Oregon area, and she
is just a wealth of knowledge. She's a mom of three,
and she's been married, she's been divorced, she's been in
relationships with people.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
So she is going to.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Share her story about going through the transition of blending households,
and we're going to just dig into all of the things.
And as I said to her when we were kind
of preparing for this, I had a bunch of questions
in mine mind.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
But there are things that I don't even know.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
So feel free to just like educate me on things
that our listeners might want to hear about, maybe some
pain points that they might be struggling with. So, without
further ado, please let me welcome my friend Kim to
the show.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Welcome, Hi, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
This is a great topic. I love that you were
addressing it.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I am hold on, I'm trying to like my computers.
Get my computer's getting weird. Sorry about that. I am
really excited. And if anybody's watching here on YouTube, Kim
is my glasses twin, So I just want everyone to look.
Everyone can look and see. Yes, she's my glasses twins.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
So it's funny.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
I'm looking at her right now, going good, but she's
got but she's got way better hair than me. So
I'm like, oh, anyway, Kim again, I give our listeners
like real kind of top line, gave them a little
bit of insight into kind of why I wanted to
bring this. I think it's such an important topic and
again something that I don't personally have experience with, and
(04:06):
so I like to bring people on who can really
come from a perspective that I can't bring. So tell
our listeners a little bit about you, and you know
who you are.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Oh yes.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
So I think usually my introduction is a little more generic.
I don't really bring in a lot of my past,
but I think today is a great opportunity to introduce
myself differently. So I am an Oregonian by birth. Well
actually I was born in California, but quickly moved up
to Oregon. I spent majority of my life in Oregon.
(04:42):
I got married fairly young, early twenties. I had my
first baby, and then I had my second baby very quickly,
and then almost simultaneously divorced, So it was only married
for a couple of years, had two children out of it,
and then fairly quickly remarried again, and that was also
(05:07):
in my early twenties, and that marriage lasted just shy
of twenty years with one other baby involved, so three
total girls, a bit of an age gap. So I
have my two older ones who are twenty nine and
twenty six, and then I have my youngest one who
is nineteen, so all.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Of them out of the house. One stole in college, but.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
Recently, recently, as of six years, reconnected with an old
high school boyfriend who I have been with now for
going almost seven years. And during my second marriage had
moved quite a bit around the country, three or four
different states, and found my way back to Oregon about
(05:55):
six years ago after seven years ago after my divorce,
and I'm you're again living in a rural community and
learning how to live with boys and also be an
empty nester at the same time. So I'm kind of
living two lives every other week. But started my business
(06:17):
as an organizer about eighteen months ago and realized how
important organization has become, and even looking back in my
past to blending families, and so I am thrilled today
to talk about that and hopefully give some insight to
some people that might need a little direction.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Yeah, no, absolutely, and thank you for kind of walking
us through that.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
I think it's really helpful. And just for context.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
So you're and you call your partner your guy, right,
that's what.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
You call I call him my guy. Yeah, that's my guy.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Right, So what not? That's how we're going to refer
to him. So your guy also has children? Correct?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yes, yes he does, and just.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Context wise, and they're boys. How many too?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
He has two boys? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (07:07):
And how old are they?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
So they are now.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
Twelve and thirteen, but you know when we got together
they were six and seven and quite an age gap
from my kids to his kids, boys versus girls and
me going from Florida back to Oregon and living in
a rural community. I was a beach girl and mud
(07:31):
and dirt and boys and smell.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
And it's been a transition.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
He and pee everywhere from what I understand with all
my boy mom friends.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Yes, so yeah, so again, lots of new things, a
lot of change, a lot of things. Now does he
share custody of the boys? Are they with you part.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Of the time and then they're with their minds?
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Okay, so we have a week on, week off situation.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Yeah, and again there's my wheels are turning because I
am just thinking of so many I think it's hard enough.
And we've talked about this on the show before. When
you have a completely nuclear family and I don't even
know what the correct terminology is, but like same parents,
same kids, to get everybody on board, Like, that's hard
enough if it's even possible, right, I don't even know
(08:24):
if it's possible.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
To get everyone on board.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
But when you have the but then when you start
layering in, you've got people that are living there part time,
people that may have one set of rules at one
home versus different set of rules at a different home.
Then there's also different expectations of you as a step mom.
What are the boundaries from where or the not stepmom?
But you know what I mean, like the other like
(08:46):
you're not their parent, can you know what are the
what is the appropriate level of discipline and responsibility that
you're allowed to have? And obviously this is going to
be nuanced for each individual person in their situation, but
there's all of these other factors to consider that, like
where I tell my kid, hey, you need to pick
up your stuff, and I don't think about the repercussion
(09:08):
that it could be like that's not your place, you know,
or I don't do that at my mom's kind of
a thing. So I guess just I don't even know
where to beget because I have so many things. One
of the things I would say is, you know, what
are some of the biggest you know, things that surprised
you when you started entering into this.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Absolutely.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (09:33):
So first of all, I had two very different situations.
So when I divorced my first husband and I remarried,
he didn't have any kids my second husband, so this
was me coming in with very young kids. So they
were two and four when we got married. So that
(09:58):
plays a factor in to how you're going to blend
that family versus when Chad and I my guy got together,
you know, my kids were older. I had one in college,
I had one out of college, and I had one
in high school. And I had girls, and he had
boys that were in elementary school.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
And.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
I had in my second marriage, you know, I had
I never had the luxury of having a cohesive co parenting.
It was very volatile on both of my situations, so
I never had that now chat. On the other hand,
his boys mom is very involved in their life and
(10:42):
so they don't need another mom.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That wasn't something that they needed.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
So I think that when I divorced my first time
and remarried my girls, I needed.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
That family unit. I needed to feel that they had
a dad.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Well.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
First of all, their dad lived on the West coast
and we lived on the East coast. So it was
very important for us to become that idealistic family unit,
you know, and we did really well at that. People
that would meet us would have no idea that that
was their quote unquote step dad.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
You know, it was just it was just dad.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
And that worked, and that was our expectation going into it.
But the expectation going into Mayan and Chad's relationship was
very different. It was it was communicated that neither of
us was necessarily looking for a co parent.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
This was our relationship.
Speaker 6 (11:48):
And so I think that that is one determining factor
on how you're going to blend your families, is where
you're at in that stage of life and what you're
bringing into the relationship and what you're not going into
the relationship.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
I think that's so good and if anybody's I'm told
I usually take notes when our guests come on because
I want to remember these like nuggets of wisdom that
you're saying.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
And I think that that is really important.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
And I would hope and I would think that you
would have these conversations before you're embarking on this, like
what are our expectations, you know what, because somebody might
be like I don't want to be this step dad
or I really want to be and it's like, no,
they have somebody there, So like, kind of how are
we going.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
To navigate these types of.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Situations based on kind of like you said, where you
are in the season of life you are, how old
your kids are, and what you feel like you and
everybody else needs.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
So I love that.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
And then when you moved again, you're talking about stuff,
so I don't know what the relationship was. So you actually,
I know you said when you remarried this for the
second time, you were across country from your first exhusman,
so you weren't doing a week on, week off if anything,
your girls were seeing him for like summer break or
Christmas break or whatever, so you weren't you didn't have
(13:12):
that like flipping of I'm keeping this at moms.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
I'm keeping this at dad's.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
Yes, yes, and I did not have to do that,
but I do watch Chad do that. So I was
given us a stand. Yeah, I understand the importance of systems. Gosh,
the functional systems and zones and stations become so important
(13:42):
not only to the kids, but to the adults that
are involved as well. It relieves any question gray areas.
It allows for simplicity and comings and goings, getting ready
(14:02):
for sports or heading back to moms.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
You know, I have. It took a little bit that.
You know.
Speaker 6 (14:12):
The one thing you have to go into a blended
family with is open mindedness and willing to pivot when
pivoting is needed. And I almost address some of our
living obstacles just like I would any client.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I go into their.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
House and say, what are your pain points and how
can we make this easier for you? So you know this,
this is commonly asked. But will you decant your cereal
or do you want to just put the box on
the shelf here? What is going to work for you?
So I figured out very quickly. So remember I was
in Florida and moved back to Oregon and moved back
(14:55):
directly in with Chad into his home that he had
just bought, a nineteen fourty farmhouse that was updated in
some areas and not in some. I don't have heat,
I have a fireplace and I have a pellet stove.
I have mud, I have pine needles. The first month
(15:18):
I was here, my little, tiny, little red car that
I loved so much. We kind of live on a
slant range so hard, and my car just kind of
started sliding, I don't know, and so I had to
get in the big board pickup to go pick up
Kaitlin from school. But there's just been like things that
have made me realize the importance of finding solutions too
(15:44):
simple problems, just like I do in organizing. So we
put gravel down so my car doesn't slide down the
hill anymore.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
That's important.
Speaker 6 (15:50):
It is important, Yes, it's very important. In the front area,
the boys throw their shoes, that's when they take them off,
they flip them, you know. And I would not have
allowed my girls to do that. But that was me
that was raising my girls. This is Chad raising his
boys and I have to respect that.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
So yeah, so I want you to elaborate on that
because I feel like that's where that's where a lot
of the.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Tension can come in. Yeah, So how do you navigate that?
Speaker 6 (16:24):
Well, first of all, I hope that if somebody is
listening to this and they're in a blended situation, that
they have come into this blended situation learning from their
first I don't want to use it the word mistakes.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
But experience, experience.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
Experience, yes, And that they have not ignored red flags
and they have figured out what their triggers are, what's.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Important, and.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
They have not carried any of the toxic traits that
were in their first relationship into the second relationship.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
So I had to let a lot of control go.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
I was very hard on my girls. I needed neat
and tidy home. I needed everything to look pretty because
that was how my brain stayed calm. Now, I wasn't
as picky about my girls doing dishes and whatnot, because
I actually preferred to do them because I did them right.
(17:21):
Chad was totally opposite. He didn't care about shoes being
taken off or things being laid over the back of
a chair, but he was sure that before his boys
left the kitchen, those dishes were put in the dishwasher.
So for me and Chad Chad had to let go
of the fact that I didn't force Caitlin to do that,
(17:42):
and so eventually I would just do it that day
and he warmed up to that. And for me with
the laying stuff around, I created a zone right when
you walk in, and it's a big feeding trough that
I got at the feed store. I love it at
yeah trough and they literally their shoes into it. Now
I have shoe marks on my wall. But I had
(18:04):
Chad put up a really good paint so that I
can just wash it off when I need to. And
I put really nice coat racks up that are studded
into the wall so coats can just go there, and
shoes get flipped, and each boy has a basket. The
backpacks get thrown in there. But it's simple. It's not beautiful,
but it's simple.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
And so those are just a few.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Examples of the importance of seeing where they're at, what's
important to them, and not pushing what you did in
the past with your kids onto them. You have to pivot.
You have to have respect for what's important to the
other party. It just isn't going to work unless you do.
Speaker 7 (18:46):
So.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I have another question, which kind of piggybacks off of this.
So right now again, your kids are totally different. You know,
your kids are pretty much launched, right, you still can't
live it. But even though she's she's pretty much launch.
But when you had when she was in high school
living at home, and you had his little kids, and
(19:07):
you're sitting down to dinner and Halen's like used to
getting up and leaving her dish there for you to
take her or maybe just putting in a sake in
going about her business, and his boys are like getting
ready to clear the table and put all the dishes
in the dishwasher or wash them by hand or whatever. Well, like,
(19:31):
how did those conversations happen? Because there's got to be
like why doesn't she have to do it?
Speaker 5 (19:35):
And I do?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
And like those types of responsibilities and expectations. Is it
just sitting down and having a conversation of like, we
do things differently, and I'm wondering for the child, how
does that translate?
Speaker 6 (19:51):
First of all, that's a really good question and a
really good point to bring up because it's something we
actually never addressed.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It was.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
I think it's somewhat solved itself because Caitlyn.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Was so much older.
Speaker 6 (20:04):
Okay, and they are they were boys, they are boys,
and so there. I don't think they overthought much. I
think it was a seek and destroy mission. I want
to get upstairs to either watch TV or play video games.
So I'm just put my dish in the dishwasher and
I'm out of here.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
You know, Roles reverse.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Maybe Caitlin being younger, that probably could have been a
topic that would have had to have been addressed, but
it was definitely something Chad and I.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Would have to talk about.
Speaker 6 (20:35):
Yeah, you know, that's just she's not gonna change. I mean,
at this point, this is just what I've done, this
is what you've done, and this is just how it's
going to be. And you know, I'm not saying he
doesn't get irritated with it, but it's it's just the
way it is, and and we moved past it.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
It's small.
Speaker 6 (20:54):
It's so it's so small, and that that's another thing
to think about when you're trying to overcome some obstacles
in your relationships.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Is they really truly are small? Most things are pretty small.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Totally totally.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
We make it a big thing, and it really it
really isn't. And that's present company included you know, I've
learned a lot through the years, lots of trial and error,
and again, you know, one of the things that I
was when I was preparing knowing that I wanted to
do this episode is in my mind again, I saw
(21:30):
it as two different aspects of blending households.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
You have the tangible tech.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Like physical stuff like we both have couches, we both
have dishes, we both have bbs, you know what I mean,
Like we have dumble of things because we have two
households that were now merging into wine. And then again
you have that blending of responsibilities of kind of like
the interpersonal dynamics. So we touched, So we touched, you know,
(22:01):
you know, we touched on kind of the relational part
of it, which is great. Maybe we'll come back to it,
but I want to pivot a little bit talk about
the actual like physical stuff of blending, because I feel
like that's going to be a big thing for a
lot of people of who gets what where are we going?
Are we going to a neutral place? Are you moving
into my place? What does that look like?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:22):
Well that that was an easy one for us because
I had left Florida and I didn't have anything here,
so it was easy.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
We just moved in. But I must tell.
Speaker 6 (22:31):
You, Caitlin didn't have a room, and luckily Chad is
a custom home builder and our house was big enough.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
He added a.
Speaker 6 (22:39):
Room on for her, so you know, and truthfully, his
boys are great because he or she gets this plush,
brand new bedroom, you know, And now they get the
upstairs Jack and Jill a area, which has really been
good for us too, because I don't have to go
up there.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Ever.
Speaker 6 (22:55):
I tried the first year and then I just let
it go.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
It's gone done.
Speaker 6 (22:59):
But I love your point about things, so yes, and
I'm not a minimalist, but I realize the importance of
keeping things simple with a blended family. And not only
did I come into the marriage with things, Chad came
in or to our relationship with things. But I lost
my dad right after I moved home, and I lost
(23:23):
my grandmother, all within a short amount of time. So
I not only had our things, but I now have
a flood of emotional things that I have to power through.
And fortunately Chad was very patient. Our front porch was
a storage unit for a little while, so yeah, we
(23:45):
had to really slim down. We had to figure out
what things were important. And I learned very quickly you
need to ask, because I took upon myself to go
ahead and declutter the kitchen. While Chad was hunting season
and came home and he asked where his square dish
(24:08):
pan was. Now, this had like little flowers on it,
like blue.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
It was like a cornerware thing, like an old cornerware
one corner.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
Yeah, but like blue, flat blue blue and pink flowers.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
This.
Speaker 6 (24:20):
I was like, oh, this is out of here. And
it kind of had like a little crack going down
the middle.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
That was just a no brainer for me. It was gone,
went good Will.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Whole the whole pile of stuff went to good Well,
well comes home. Where do you know where that is?
I said, well, I got rid of that. We have
the other like nicer one. No I need it because
my spoon doesn't slip in when I'm doing French toast
and get in the egg. So he had to have
(24:48):
that square pan.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Okay, Well, I thought, I gotta say it was like
his grandmother's or something.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Goodness, No, I mean it was.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
He's still attached to it, like he still had a
reason for one to keep it.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
But it wasn't.
Speaker 6 (25:00):
But and chat is a very routined man like, he
does not like change. So me coming into his home already,
you know, trying to put my spin on things, and
now he's gone hunting and his favorite dish is gone.
I had to go back to Goodwill and repurchase it.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Oh, but you were able to You got it back.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
Oh my j Yeah, it cost me seven dollars, but
I did get the pan back and we still have it.
So I think it's important when you are bringing items
into the home, you need to find out what's important
to you. So for me, what happened to me was
I had a chair that I had purchased after I
left my marriage of almost twenty years, and I wanted
(25:44):
this chair because it was not a chair I was
ever going to buy in that relationship, and this chair was.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I was so excited to get this chair. I got
this chair.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
So when I moved here, I plopped the chair in
the living room and right away Chad's oldest son really
took to this chair, and it kind of it bothered me.
It bothered me because he would move the chair in
places that he wanted to sit to view the TV better,
and the arms were getting kind of you know, he's
a boy getting kind of party and yeah, yeah, And
(26:18):
I just kind of sucked it up for quite a
few months and I finally had just an outburst meltdown
about I want my chair back. Well, they had no
idea that this chair was so important to me and
the meaning behind this chair. This was a symbol for me.
It wasn't just a chair, it was a symbol. And
I learned really quickly that the importance of communicating what
(26:42):
items mean to us, what ones are important, and respecting
why those items are important to those that particular person.
But again I will go back to it's also important
to slim down, you know, our kitchen. I try and
keep our kitchen as minimalistic as possible so it's easy
for everyone to navigate in the kitchen. There isn't a
(27:05):
question of if somebody's unloading a dishwasher, where things go,
or this doesn't fit, or it's it's very simplistic. The
pantry is very simplistic. Labeled Caitlyn and there were some
(27:25):
things getting eaten that she didn't want eaten. So you know,
we have a bin that's you know, just for Caitlin
up hie. So when she comes home on the weekends.
If she has certain things she doesn't want anybody to touch.
She's got her own bin. So I think just respecting
each person's items, whether it's food, a chair, a pan.
(27:51):
You know, Chat doesn't like his shoes thrown into the
big trough.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
His boots.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
His boots are important to him, so we set them
to the side of the trough. You just have to pivot,
You have to give grace, and you have to allow
everybody to do what's important to them.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Yeah, and you bring up a really good point which
I think is universal for anybody, And this can apply
if you are going to college or getting a roommate,
you know what I mean, Like you're living with people
that maybe weren't like your people of origin, and all
of a sudden, we all have these again, these ideas
(28:29):
and these expectations in our minds of what's.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Right, what's wrong, what's respectful, what you would do.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
But if you grew up, for example, in a house
with multiple siblings and everything was just fair game and
you just went in and did whatever, and all of
a sudden, now you are face living with somebody who
isn't used to that, and my stuff is my stuff,
and all of a sudden, you just go and take
it because like that's what you're used to doing, and
(28:56):
somebody else perceives that as you know, you're in eating
my privacy or you know, taking my stuff without question,
and it's not necessarily coming from a place of mal intent.
I would say more often than that, most people are
not doing things to be hurtful, intentionally hurtful. You didn't
get rid of that pan to you know, hurt Chad's feelings.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
It was in your mind.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Something that was chipped, broken, damaged, old, we have something better,
and you were in your mind solving a problem. And
again it was not coming from a place of malice.
It was just you were trying to be helpful. And
that whole communication piece and setting that appropriate expectation is
really important in general, and I especially would think that
(29:47):
as you're coming into a blended household, if the kids
are you know, depending on their ages, but I would
say from probably young you know, six eight years old
plus as they get older, like setting those like what
is important to you, what is it that you are
comfortable with and allowing people to have a voice as
(30:11):
opposed to feeling like okay, I'm just you know, I'm
just a guest here or I'm just this is my space,
and because I would think that that's not the environment
that you're trying to create.
Speaker 6 (30:23):
No, no, it's not at all. And really I sometimes
feel blended families, I mean, at least for mine, almost
communicate more and respect to each other more, because you know,
when you start off in a relationship with somebody and
then together you have kids and you grow, it's an
(30:45):
you know, you evolve, it's such a slower pace and
you kind of morph everything and together when you're blending,
you know, it's go time. There isn't you know, this
evolution is in warp speed, and you better be on
your feet and ready to compromise and pivot and listen
(31:07):
and you know, come up with solutions to any of
these obstacles or problems. You know that that happened to
come into your daily life, and keeping the daily life
simple and continually flowing is really really important.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
You know.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
For me, like I said, we don't have I don't
have a furnace, I don't have a thermometer. When we
first moved here, we had a wood stove and that
was a challenge for me and I couldn't get the
fire going and I couldn't keep it going and the
house would get cold.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (31:44):
Yeah, coming from Florida, you know, and chads out on
job sites, it's not like he can help me.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
And you know, I had lots of frustration.
Speaker 6 (31:53):
So we finally got a pellet stuff.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
So I get a little.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
Button I can push and you know, but I still
I have to go outside and I have to get
a bag of pellets and I have to pour it
in there. And so he made sure those pellets were
in an area that we're somewhat close, in a covered spot,
so that I can go out grab the pellets and
put them in myself. We also fires were really difficult
(32:18):
for me to start in the fireplace, so.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I now.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Usually and sept he go to.
Speaker 6 (32:30):
Spot and I buy boxes.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Oh wait, wait, come wait, kim pause one second. Our
our thing got unstable, like I okay, you were like
breaking up, and so I just I want to m
(33:03):
you're frozen, all right, Kimberly. We're gonna have to edit
this part out. Hopefully she'll come back. It was like
around and at thirty nine something.
Speaker 5 (33:23):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 7 (33:26):
Mm hmmmmmm. We foreheard Comba.
Speaker 8 (35:06):
What roll.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Hope's coming back.
Speaker 8 (35:31):
Mm hm, get good of my teeth.
Speaker 7 (35:48):
Hope not mhm okay mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (36:51):
Ope, here we go.
Speaker 8 (36:55):
It's just super cute.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Okay, Hello, it's country living.
Speaker 4 (37:11):
It's okay, It's okay, you know, because there was one
other point midway through where you broke up a little bit,
but I didn't want to stop because it came right
back and I was like, we'll just put plow through.
Speaker 5 (37:21):
But that one got really bad, so I was that's
why I stopped. Then obviously completely first.
Speaker 6 (37:26):
So we have starlink and it's dumping snow right now,
so I think what happened is the snow melt feature.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
It's kicked on now.
Speaker 5 (37:36):
Yeah, no worries.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
We're in the home stretch anyway, so we'll figure I mean, yeah,
so I don't remember exactly where.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
I was talking about my wood and stuff.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
Yes, yes, I remember that.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Okay, So I'm gonna I'm just gonna kind of cut
to and Kimberly can work like figure out where to
the transitional be.
Speaker 5 (37:57):
So I'm just gonna pick it up the question. So
all right, here we go.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
So I guess my question is if we've got somebody
listening out there that is either good, like gonna be
taking this next step into kind of blending households, or
maybe they're there and have been struggling with certain things.
And I know you've given a lot of advice, but
if you could just kind of highlight, like, I don't know,
(38:25):
three to five things that you know, here, here's a
place to start, here's some things to think about.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
What would those what would those takeaways be?
Speaker 6 (38:36):
So Number one, I think you need to create your
clear zones for the family. You need your drop zone.
I think you need to simplify your kitchen. I think
you need to make your pantry simplistic labeled. I think
that you need to have a laundry station so that
everybody can do their own laundry. I think that's important
(38:59):
because I know for me, I didn't want to take
on three more people's laundry. So I think keeping things simple,
making things accessible, whether the kids are six or fifteen
or eighteen, making sure everybody can be self sufficient in
those major zones, you know, those major living areas that
keep your daily life functioning, I say make those as
(39:22):
functional as possible. Number two, determine what items have a
purpose and respect that those items are either going to
stay in the house or you know that item is
for that person and it's really not for everybody to
partake in or sit in or take to goodwill. But
(39:42):
understanding the importance of the things that you are bringing
into the home, and I think you need Number three.
You need to evaluate what stage you are in your life.
You know, for me, I was coming near the empty
nest zone, and so I had a little bit more
grace maybe and somebody coming in with much smaller kids.
(40:02):
You know, I had already been a mom for so long,
and for me, I knew it wasn't work and nothing
was worth overthinking. Everything was just going to solve itself
at some point. And so Chad had to go through
those stages on his own, and for me, it was
easier to sit back and just kind of observe and
just be there if he needed, you know, a listening ear.
(40:23):
But you need to determine where you are in your
journey and where your partner is in their journey and
figure out how those two are going to come together.
You know, we're in two very different places, but somehow
we communicated enough to make sure that those journeys meshed.
Number four, give everybody time you know, like I explained,
you know, if you start your relationship at birth, just
(40:47):
the two of you, and then have children, this is
a slow evolution. But when you're blending, that is you know,
it is zero to sixty and you need to give
yourself some time and definitely some great And then my
final one is it's so okay to make mistakes and
just learn from them. Make mistakes and learn from them.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
I love every single one of these and as you're talking,
these are these are just life skills that regardless of
whether this is a blended relationship situation or a nuclear
family relationship, like these are all so true and actionable
(41:31):
and universal across the board that I really really really
like them. And I hope, and I'm confident, but I
really hope that our listeners out there not don't only
just take this information for themselves and apply it, but
share this with a friend, like share this episode with
somebody that you know that might be going through transition,
and even if they did it a while ago, you know,
(41:52):
maybe there's an area that they want some guidance or
support or maybe just even validation for, Like I'm on
the right track.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
You know, so much of things that we do.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
Especially as parents that you're just like, well, I'm going
to figure it out and see what works. And just
when you hear that somebody else is doing this as well,
you're like, oh, I might be on the right track
as opposed to just going through going I don't know,
I'm trying to wing it.
Speaker 5 (42:19):
So I love those.
Speaker 6 (42:21):
Most of the obstacles that blended families and even not
blended families are dealing with, are really, if you just
peel it all the way down to the center, are
real simple, fixable obstacles, is really what they are. But
we just don't communicate enough, we don't speak up soon enough,
(42:44):
and so then it just compounds itself and it just
becomes such a bigger issue that really doesn't need to be.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
Yeah, case in point, the chair, chair, the.
Speaker 6 (42:55):
Chair, the pant, the shoes. You know, it's just okay,
you're not going to do that, but this is important
to me. So let's just get it figured out and
then we're done.
Speaker 5 (43:03):
Yeah, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
Before we take our last break, tell our listeners what's
the best place for them to connect up learn more
If they're in the Portland area and they want to
hire you or just Stoll you on social media just
all the things.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
All the things.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
Yes, I am outside and west of Portland in the
Washington County area and love to go into people zones
and help them out. I can be found on the
Internet at Rustic Home Organizing dot com or rh Organizing
dot com.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Either get you there. I can be.
Speaker 6 (43:40):
Found on Facebook at Rustic Home Organizing and then Instagram.
You can follow me at Rustic Underscore Home Underscore Organizing,
and my phone number is on my website. I'm happy
to take phone calls. You can also download my curated
home guide and that will also get you on my
(44:03):
newsletter that I send out. Not a lot, but I
do send one out that gives some tips and whatnot
throughout the year to help organize your home.
Speaker 5 (44:12):
And for all of our listeners out there who might be.
Speaker 4 (44:15):
New to our show, we include links to everything in
our show notes, so don't worry if you're out and
about walking the dog, just you know, in the car
driving somewhere. We will have everything directing you to Kim
and her business on our on our show notes, on
our web page, so you can access her there, and
(44:35):
of course you can also find her on our partner page.
Because she's one of our SBO partners. She's always accessible
through our website as well, so anyway you can connect
up with her. We're going to take one last break
when we come back, We're going to just do our
wrap up questions. So sit tight, all right, Kim. This
(44:59):
has been such a fun conversation and I just really
like soaked up all of this insight and wisdom that
you are sharing.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
So thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
We always like to talk to our guests about inspiration
because the show is really about inspiration and empowering people
and just like you said earlier, giving people grace. And
so I don't know, are you a reader? Are you
somebody who likes to read? Okay, good? So we ask
our guests and it's a selfish way for me to
(45:31):
get new book recommendations. Tell us a book that either
that you're reading and loving, or maybe a book that
has like been like transformational for you personally professionally that
maybe is your kind of one of your go to
books that you're like, this is a must I must read.
Speaker 6 (45:48):
I definitely have had some books that have transformed my
way of thinking and my way of living, but my
most recent favorite book is the one I'm going to
say okay, because it just really hit home to me
in the place I'm at in my life right now.
But it was Born to Shine by Kendra Scott Oh Okay.
(46:08):
Awesome book talks about her journey in building her business.
Speaker 5 (46:12):
I was going to say, yeah, and just.
Speaker 6 (46:15):
Her personal life and the challenges that she overcame, the
sadness in her life, and it is so inspirational, definitely
worth a read or a listen, whichever you do.
Speaker 5 (46:26):
Awesome.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
We will absolutely link to that in our show notes
as well, and then our last two questions that we
ask every yes in every episode in this particular season
of your life, Where do you feel the most organized
and where do you feel like a bit of a
hot mess?
Speaker 6 (46:43):
Definitely most organized in my pantry, in my kitchen, that
is just hands down. I love the organization in there
because it's easy to clean up at night, go to
bed with a nice clean kitchen, wake up to a
nice clean kitchen with your coffee.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
But yeah, I am an a salute.
Speaker 6 (47:00):
Hot mess is the back end of my business and
my photos, all right.
Speaker 5 (47:08):
So I can absolutely help you at the back end
of your business.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
That's what I'm here for we will be talking about that. Okay, photos, yeah, photos.
Are you talking digital photos or actual both?
Speaker 5 (47:22):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (47:23):
All right, Well we're that's that's a common one. That's
a common one for a lot of people. And we're
going to be doing some additional series or episodes on
some photo organization solutions because it's it is something that
is a struggle for a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Well, and I think the age we're at, we have this.
We have the physical ones.
Speaker 5 (47:48):
Yes, yes, and we have the yeah, yes, I agree.
So I don't go back, I don't wait.
Speaker 4 (47:56):
I just say let's start your habit from moving forward
and say starting like healthy and like let's let's get
organized moving.
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Forward from here on out.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Yes, love that.
Speaker 5 (48:08):
Yes, So do you manage them all on your phone?
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Or do you have they're all on my phone?
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Okay, all right, we're going to talk about that. We're
gonna we're going to do I think we're going to
do a clutter clinic and we'll do it maybe and
we'll we'll do it as a series. Maybe we'll do
clutter Clinic Digital and we'll do one on photos digital.
Speaker 6 (48:27):
Well, I think you need to do one just for
organizers too, you know, because my camera role is is
it's funny people's homes.
Speaker 4 (48:34):
It's funny that you say that, because so what I
do people real quick is and I've been doing this
for years and Shutterfly is not a sponsor, even though
they really I would love them to be. I for
years use a shared photos uh, put all of our
photos in Shutterfly, and I have an album by year
that each of our family members has access to. So
(48:57):
as they get photos on their phones, they don't always
upload them, but then I'll say, oh, dump that in
into the you know, twenty twenty two album, or if
we go on a vacation, we have a specific album
for that. And so that way we could I could
create a book, or everyone has access to all of
(49:17):
the photos and then you could theoretically.
Speaker 5 (49:21):
Clear them off your phone.
Speaker 4 (49:22):
I don't always do that in the spirit of transparency,
but it allows me to have one central place for
the ease of retrieval, and that to me is again
what it goes back to the ease of retrieval.
Speaker 5 (49:31):
How quickly can you get it?
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Now, the problem with organizers, and I'm sure this goes
for other people, but especially for us, is that, like
you said, if I score through my camera roll. Two thirds,
maybe even more of my pictures are of people's before
and afters, you know, or products that I'm taking pictures off,
(49:53):
and so you want to make sure that we're not
holding onto those and that's like where you're getting those,
And so I think there is two different kind of
categories of you know, how are you navigating those photos?
So we'll definitely do a webinar on that. I'll find
somebody that's an expert in that area to come and facilitate.
Speaker 5 (50:15):
Awesome, Well, Kim, thank you so much again.
Speaker 4 (50:18):
Kim rih Home Organizing in the Portland metro area. If
this is your first time tuning in, welcome, so glad
to have you here. Like I said earlier, please do
your friends a favor share this episode with them and
if there's a topic that you want to hear about,
(50:39):
let us know, just shoot us a DM. On social media,
we have a podcast Facebook group called this Organized Life Podcast.
Speaker 5 (50:46):
You could post your questions comments.
Speaker 4 (50:48):
In there, and of course, if you feel so inclined
to leave us a rating and review, we.
Speaker 5 (50:53):
Do appreciate that. So thank you so much for tuning in.
Until next week. I'm Lori Palau. Peace out. Thanks for
tuning in.
Speaker 4 (51:01):
If you'd liked this episode, please spread the love and
share it with your friends. And if this is your
first time joining us, make sure to click the subscribe
button wherever you're listening so you never miss an episode.
And while you're there, please leave us a review so
other people knew that our show is worth to listen.
You can also find us on YouTube and Instagram at
This Organized Life Podcast, and if you'd like to connect
(51:21):
with us, you can head on over to our website
at simply the letter, b like boyorganized dot com, which
is filled with tons of resources, including free downloads, checklists,
links to our amazing organizing partners, and all of our
digital offerings. I'll see you next week for another episode
of This Organized Life
Welcome to This Organized Life. If you're a mom, wife,
or coffee lover seeking advice on how to reduce clutter
and reclaim time, look no further than your host, Louri Hellau,
Founder Simply Be Organized and author of Hot Mess, a
practical guide to getting organized. For a lot of people,
clutter is their dirty little secret, but it doesn't have
to be. Each week, we will share.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Practical tips, chat with experts.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And provide strategies on how.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
To keep you organized.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I hope that by sharing our stories you feel a
little less alone and more empowered to tackle the areas
that are holding you back. So let's get started.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Hi everybody, and welcome to today's episode of This Organized
Life podcast. I'm your host, Lori Palau, and I am
so excited that you are joining us. If you are
new to our show, welcome. We drop new episodes every
single Thursday, and we have since twenty seventeen, which is
like crazy time to think about out and we talk
(01:01):
about all things organizing. We talk about physical organizing of spaces,
we talk about emotional clutter and how to get rid
of it. We talk about schedules and productivity, all of
the things.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
So really our goal is to.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Give you tips, strategies, and have you learned from people
who have either been there, done that, or experts in
a certain topic. And today I'm really excited to talk
about this because this is an area that I don't
personally have a lot of experience in, so I really
had to look outside into my network of people to say,
who will be a good person to talk to about
(01:37):
this topic. And what we're going to be talking about
is blended families. And we've done some episodes before where
we've talked about things kind of in a top line basis,
but I really wanted to dive into the nuts.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
And bolts of blending households.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
And when you're blending households, it's not just the personalities
that are blending, but you're also blending stuff, bringing in two.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
Of everything from households.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Then if you are blending in families with kids, it
is parenting responsibilities. And I set this chore expectation, but
you might not and how do you navigate that? Because again,
so much about living an organized life has to do
with healthy communication, and when you're blending people that came
from different life experiences, sometimes that can be challenging. So today,
(02:26):
joining me is one of our SBO partners, Kim Snodgrass.
And Kim is in the Portland, Oregon area, and she
is just a wealth of knowledge. She's a mom of three,
and she's been married, she's been divorced, she's been in
relationships with people.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
So she is going to.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Share her story about going through the transition of blending households,
and we're going to just dig into all of the things.
And as I said to her when we were kind
of preparing for this, I had a bunch of questions
in mine mind.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
But there are things that I don't even know.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
So feel free to just like educate me on things
that our listeners might want to hear about, maybe some
pain points that they might be struggling with. So, without
further ado, please let me welcome my friend Kim to
the show.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Welcome, Hi, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
This is a great topic. I love that you were
addressing it.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I am hold on, I'm trying to like my computers.
Get my computer's getting weird. Sorry about that. I am
really excited. And if anybody's watching here on YouTube, Kim
is my glasses twin, So I just want everyone to look.
Everyone can look and see. Yes, she's my glasses twins.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
So it's funny.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
I'm looking at her right now, going good, but she's
got but she's got way better hair than me. So
I'm like, oh, anyway, Kim again, I give our listeners
like real kind of top line, gave them a little
bit of insight into kind of why I wanted to
bring this. I think it's such an important topic and
again something that I don't personally have experience with, and
(04:06):
so I like to bring people on who can really
come from a perspective that I can't bring. So tell
our listeners a little bit about you, and you know
who you are.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Oh yes.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
So I think usually my introduction is a little more generic.
I don't really bring in a lot of my past,
but I think today is a great opportunity to introduce
myself differently. So I am an Oregonian by birth. Well
actually I was born in California, but quickly moved up
to Oregon. I spent majority of my life in Oregon.
(04:42):
I got married fairly young, early twenties. I had my
first baby, and then I had my second baby very quickly,
and then almost simultaneously divorced, So it was only married
for a couple of years, had two children out of it,
and then fairly quickly remarried again, and that was also
(05:07):
in my early twenties, and that marriage lasted just shy
of twenty years with one other baby involved, so three
total girls, a bit of an age gap. So I
have my two older ones who are twenty nine and
twenty six, and then I have my youngest one who
is nineteen, so all.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Of them out of the house. One stole in college, but.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
Recently, recently, as of six years, reconnected with an old
high school boyfriend who I have been with now for
going almost seven years. And during my second marriage had
moved quite a bit around the country, three or four
different states, and found my way back to Oregon about
(05:55):
six years ago after seven years ago after my divorce,
and I'm you're again living in a rural community and
learning how to live with boys and also be an
empty nester at the same time. So I'm kind of
living two lives every other week. But started my business
(06:17):
as an organizer about eighteen months ago and realized how
important organization has become, and even looking back in my
past to blending families, and so I am thrilled today
to talk about that and hopefully give some insight to
some people that might need a little direction.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Yeah, no, absolutely, and thank you for kind of walking
us through that.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
I think it's really helpful. And just for context.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
So you're and you call your partner your guy, right,
that's what.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
You call I call him my guy. Yeah, that's my guy.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Right, So what not? That's how we're going to refer
to him. So your guy also has children? Correct?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yes, yes he does, and just.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Context wise, and they're boys. How many too?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
He has two boys? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (07:07):
And how old are they?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
So they are now.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
Twelve and thirteen, but you know when we got together
they were six and seven and quite an age gap
from my kids to his kids, boys versus girls and
me going from Florida back to Oregon and living in
a rural community. I was a beach girl and mud
(07:31):
and dirt and boys and smell.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
And it's been a transition.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
He and pee everywhere from what I understand with all
my boy mom friends.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Yes, so yeah, so again, lots of new things, a
lot of change, a lot of things. Now does he
share custody of the boys? Are they with you part.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Of the time and then they're with their minds?
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Okay, so we have a week on, week off situation.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Yeah, and again there's my wheels are turning because I
am just thinking of so many I think it's hard enough.
And we've talked about this on the show before. When
you have a completely nuclear family and I don't even
know what the correct terminology is, but like same parents,
same kids, to get everybody on board, Like, that's hard
enough if it's even possible, right, I don't even know
(08:24):
if it's possible.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
To get everyone on board.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
But when you have the but then when you start
layering in, you've got people that are living there part time,
people that may have one set of rules at one
home versus different set of rules at a different home.
Then there's also different expectations of you as a step mom.
What are the boundaries from where or the not stepmom?
But you know what I mean, like the other like
(08:46):
you're not their parent, can you know what are the
what is the appropriate level of discipline and responsibility that
you're allowed to have? And obviously this is going to
be nuanced for each individual person in their situation, but
there's all of these other factors to consider that, like
where I tell my kid, hey, you need to pick
up your stuff, and I don't think about the repercussion
(09:08):
that it could be like that's not your place, you know,
or I don't do that at my mom's kind of
a thing. So I guess just I don't even know
where to beget because I have so many things. One
of the things I would say is, you know, what
are some of the biggest you know, things that surprised
you when you started entering into this.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Absolutely.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (09:33):
So first of all, I had two very different situations.
So when I divorced my first husband and I remarried,
he didn't have any kids my second husband, so this
was me coming in with very young kids. So they
were two and four when we got married. So that
(09:58):
plays a factor in to how you're going to blend
that family versus when Chad and I my guy got together,
you know, my kids were older. I had one in college,
I had one out of college, and I had one
in high school. And I had girls, and he had
boys that were in elementary school.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
And.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
I had in my second marriage, you know, I had
I never had the luxury of having a cohesive co parenting.
It was very volatile on both of my situations, so
I never had that now chat. On the other hand,
his boys mom is very involved in their life and
(10:42):
so they don't need another mom.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That wasn't something that they needed.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
So I think that when I divorced my first time
and remarried my girls, I needed.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
That family unit. I needed to feel that they had
a dad.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Well.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
First of all, their dad lived on the West coast
and we lived on the East coast. So it was
very important for us to become that idealistic family unit,
you know, and we did really well at that. People
that would meet us would have no idea that that
was their quote unquote step dad.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
You know, it was just it was just dad.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
And that worked, and that was our expectation going into it.
But the expectation going into Mayan and Chad's relationship was
very different. It was it was communicated that neither of
us was necessarily looking for a co parent.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
This was our relationship.
Speaker 6 (11:48):
And so I think that that is one determining factor
on how you're going to blend your families, is where
you're at in that stage of life and what you're
bringing into the relationship and what you're not going into
the relationship.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
I think that's so good and if anybody's I'm told
I usually take notes when our guests come on because
I want to remember these like nuggets of wisdom that
you're saying.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
And I think that that is really important.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
And I would hope and I would think that you
would have these conversations before you're embarking on this, like
what are our expectations, you know what, because somebody might
be like I don't want to be this step dad
or I really want to be and it's like, no,
they have somebody there, So like, kind of how are
we going.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
To navigate these types of.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Situations based on kind of like you said, where you
are in the season of life you are, how old
your kids are, and what you feel like you and
everybody else needs.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
So I love that.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
And then when you moved again, you're talking about stuff,
so I don't know what the relationship was. So you actually,
I know you said when you remarried this for the
second time, you were across country from your first exhusman,
so you weren't doing a week on, week off if anything,
your girls were seeing him for like summer break or
Christmas break or whatever, so you weren't you didn't have
(13:12):
that like flipping of I'm keeping this at moms.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
I'm keeping this at dad's.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
Yes, yes, and I did not have to do that,
but I do watch Chad do that. So I was
given us a stand. Yeah, I understand the importance of systems. Gosh,
the functional systems and zones and stations become so important
(13:42):
not only to the kids, but to the adults that
are involved as well. It relieves any question gray areas.
It allows for simplicity and comings and goings, getting ready
(14:02):
for sports or heading back to moms.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
You know, I have. It took a little bit that.
You know.
Speaker 6 (14:12):
The one thing you have to go into a blended
family with is open mindedness and willing to pivot when
pivoting is needed. And I almost address some of our
living obstacles just like I would any client.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I go into their.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
House and say, what are your pain points and how
can we make this easier for you? So you know this,
this is commonly asked. But will you decant your cereal
or do you want to just put the box on
the shelf here? What is going to work for you?
So I figured out very quickly. So remember I was
in Florida and moved back to Oregon and moved back
(14:55):
directly in with Chad into his home that he had
just bought, a nineteen fourty farmhouse that was updated in
some areas and not in some. I don't have heat,
I have a fireplace and I have a pellet stove.
I have mud, I have pine needles. The first month
(15:18):
I was here, my little, tiny, little red car that
I loved so much. We kind of live on a
slant range so hard, and my car just kind of
started sliding, I don't know, and so I had to
get in the big board pickup to go pick up
Kaitlin from school. But there's just been like things that
have made me realize the importance of finding solutions too
(15:44):
simple problems, just like I do in organizing. So we
put gravel down so my car doesn't slide down the
hill anymore.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
That's important.
Speaker 6 (15:50):
It is important, Yes, it's very important. In the front area,
the boys throw their shoes, that's when they take them off,
they flip them, you know. And I would not have
allowed my girls to do that. But that was me
that was raising my girls. This is Chad raising his
boys and I have to respect that.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
So yeah, so I want you to elaborate on that
because I feel like that's where that's where a lot
of the.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Tension can come in. Yeah, So how do you navigate that?
Speaker 6 (16:24):
Well, first of all, I hope that if somebody is
listening to this and they're in a blended situation, that
they have come into this blended situation learning from their
first I don't want to use it the word mistakes.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
But experience, experience.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
Experience, yes, And that they have not ignored red flags
and they have figured out what their triggers are, what's.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Important, and.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
They have not carried any of the toxic traits that
were in their first relationship into the second relationship.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
So I had to let a lot of control go.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
I was very hard on my girls. I needed neat
and tidy home. I needed everything to look pretty because
that was how my brain stayed calm. Now, I wasn't
as picky about my girls doing dishes and whatnot, because
I actually preferred to do them because I did them right.
(17:21):
Chad was totally opposite. He didn't care about shoes being
taken off or things being laid over the back of
a chair, but he was sure that before his boys
left the kitchen, those dishes were put in the dishwasher.
So for me and Chad Chad had to let go
of the fact that I didn't force Caitlin to do that,
(17:42):
and so eventually I would just do it that day
and he warmed up to that. And for me with
the laying stuff around, I created a zone right when
you walk in, and it's a big feeding trough that
I got at the feed store. I love it at
yeah trough and they literally their shoes into it. Now
I have shoe marks on my wall. But I had
(18:04):
Chad put up a really good paint so that I
can just wash it off when I need to. And
I put really nice coat racks up that are studded
into the wall so coats can just go there, and
shoes get flipped, and each boy has a basket. The
backpacks get thrown in there. But it's simple. It's not beautiful,
but it's simple.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
And so those are just a few.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Examples of the importance of seeing where they're at, what's
important to them, and not pushing what you did in
the past with your kids onto them. You have to pivot.
You have to have respect for what's important to the
other party. It just isn't going to work unless you do.
Speaker 7 (18:46):
So.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I have another question, which kind of piggybacks off of this.
So right now again, your kids are totally different. You know,
your kids are pretty much launched, right, you still can't
live it. But even though she's she's pretty much launch.
But when you had when she was in high school
living at home, and you had his little kids, and
(19:07):
you're sitting down to dinner and Halen's like used to
getting up and leaving her dish there for you to
take her or maybe just putting in a sake in
going about her business, and his boys are like getting
ready to clear the table and put all the dishes
in the dishwasher or wash them by hand or whatever. Well, like,
(19:31):
how did those conversations happen? Because there's got to be
like why doesn't she have to do it?
Speaker 5 (19:35):
And I do?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
And like those types of responsibilities and expectations. Is it
just sitting down and having a conversation of like, we
do things differently, and I'm wondering for the child, how
does that translate?
Speaker 6 (19:51):
First of all, that's a really good question and a
really good point to bring up because it's something we
actually never addressed.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It was.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
I think it's somewhat solved itself because Caitlyn.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Was so much older.
Speaker 6 (20:04):
Okay, and they are they were boys, they are boys,
and so there. I don't think they overthought much. I
think it was a seek and destroy mission. I want
to get upstairs to either watch TV or play video games.
So I'm just put my dish in the dishwasher and
I'm out of here.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
You know, Roles reverse.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Maybe Caitlin being younger, that probably could have been a
topic that would have had to have been addressed, but
it was definitely something Chad and I.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Would have to talk about.
Speaker 6 (20:35):
Yeah, you know, that's just she's not gonna change. I mean,
at this point, this is just what I've done, this
is what you've done, and this is just how it's
going to be. And you know, I'm not saying he
doesn't get irritated with it, but it's it's just the
way it is, and and we moved past it.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
It's small.
Speaker 6 (20:54):
It's so it's so small, and that that's another thing
to think about when you're trying to overcome some obstacles
in your relationships.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Is they really truly are small? Most things are pretty small.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Totally totally.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
We make it a big thing, and it really it
really isn't. And that's present company included you know, I've
learned a lot through the years, lots of trial and error,
and again, you know, one of the things that I
was when I was preparing knowing that I wanted to
do this episode is in my mind again, I saw
(21:30):
it as two different aspects of blending households.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
You have the tangible tech.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Like physical stuff like we both have couches, we both
have dishes, we both have bbs, you know what I mean,
Like we have dumble of things because we have two
households that were now merging into wine. And then again
you have that blending of responsibilities of kind of like
the interpersonal dynamics. So we touched, So we touched, you know,
(22:01):
you know, we touched on kind of the relational part
of it, which is great. Maybe we'll come back to it,
but I want to pivot a little bit talk about
the actual like physical stuff of blending, because I feel
like that's going to be a big thing for a
lot of people of who gets what where are we going?
Are we going to a neutral place? Are you moving
into my place? What does that look like?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:22):
Well that that was an easy one for us because
I had left Florida and I didn't have anything here,
so it was easy.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
We just moved in. But I must tell.
Speaker 6 (22:31):
You, Caitlin didn't have a room, and luckily Chad is
a custom home builder and our house was big enough.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
He added a.
Speaker 6 (22:39):
Room on for her, so you know, and truthfully, his
boys are great because he or she gets this plush,
brand new bedroom, you know, And now they get the
upstairs Jack and Jill a area, which has really been
good for us too, because I don't have to go
up there.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Ever.
Speaker 6 (22:55):
I tried the first year and then I just let
it go.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
It's gone done.
Speaker 6 (22:59):
But I love your point about things, so yes, and
I'm not a minimalist, but I realize the importance of
keeping things simple with a blended family. And not only
did I come into the marriage with things, Chad came
in or to our relationship with things. But I lost
my dad right after I moved home, and I lost
(23:23):
my grandmother, all within a short amount of time. So
I not only had our things, but I now have
a flood of emotional things that I have to power through.
And fortunately Chad was very patient. Our front porch was
a storage unit for a little while, so yeah, we
(23:45):
had to really slim down. We had to figure out
what things were important. And I learned very quickly you
need to ask, because I took upon myself to go
ahead and declutter the kitchen. While Chad was hunting season
and came home and he asked where his square dish
(24:08):
pan was. Now, this had like little flowers on it,
like blue.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
It was like a cornerware thing, like an old cornerware
one corner.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
Yeah, but like blue, flat blue blue and pink flowers.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
This.
Speaker 6 (24:20):
I was like, oh, this is out of here. And
it kind of had like a little crack going down
the middle.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
That was just a no brainer for me. It was gone,
went good Will.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Whole the whole pile of stuff went to good Well,
well comes home. Where do you know where that is?
I said, well, I got rid of that. We have
the other like nicer one. No I need it because
my spoon doesn't slip in when I'm doing French toast
and get in the egg. So he had to have
(24:48):
that square pan.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Okay, Well, I thought, I gotta say it was like
his grandmother's or something.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Goodness, No, I mean it was.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
He's still attached to it, like he still had a
reason for one to keep it.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
But it wasn't.
Speaker 6 (25:00):
But and chat is a very routined man like, he
does not like change. So me coming into his home already,
you know, trying to put my spin on things, and
now he's gone hunting and his favorite dish is gone.
I had to go back to Goodwill and repurchase it.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Oh, but you were able to You got it back.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
Oh my j Yeah, it cost me seven dollars, but
I did get the pan back and we still have it.
So I think it's important when you are bringing items
into the home, you need to find out what's important
to you. So for me, what happened to me was
I had a chair that I had purchased after I
left my marriage of almost twenty years, and I wanted
(25:44):
this chair because it was not a chair I was
ever going to buy in that relationship, and this chair was.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I was so excited to get this chair. I got
this chair.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
So when I moved here, I plopped the chair in
the living room and right away Chad's oldest son really
took to this chair, and it kind of it bothered me.
It bothered me because he would move the chair in
places that he wanted to sit to view the TV better,
and the arms were getting kind of you know, he's
a boy getting kind of party and yeah, yeah, And
(26:18):
I just kind of sucked it up for quite a
few months and I finally had just an outburst meltdown
about I want my chair back. Well, they had no
idea that this chair was so important to me and
the meaning behind this chair. This was a symbol for me.
It wasn't just a chair, it was a symbol. And
I learned really quickly that the importance of communicating what
(26:42):
items mean to us, what ones are important, and respecting
why those items are important to those that particular person.
But again I will go back to it's also important
to slim down, you know, our kitchen. I try and
keep our kitchen as minimalistic as possible so it's easy
for everyone to navigate in the kitchen. There isn't a
(27:05):
question of if somebody's unloading a dishwasher, where things go,
or this doesn't fit, or it's it's very simplistic. The
pantry is very simplistic. Labeled Caitlyn and there were some
(27:25):
things getting eaten that she didn't want eaten. So you know,
we have a bin that's you know, just for Caitlin
up hie. So when she comes home on the weekends.
If she has certain things she doesn't want anybody to touch.
She's got her own bin. So I think just respecting
each person's items, whether it's food, a chair, a pan.
(27:51):
You know, Chat doesn't like his shoes thrown into the
big trough.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
His boots.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
His boots are important to him, so we set them
to the side of the trough. You just have to pivot,
You have to give grace, and you have to allow
everybody to do what's important to them.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Yeah, and you bring up a really good point which
I think is universal for anybody, And this can apply
if you are going to college or getting a roommate,
you know what I mean, Like you're living with people
that maybe weren't like your people of origin, and all
of a sudden, we all have these again, these ideas
(28:29):
and these expectations in our minds of what's.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Right, what's wrong, what's respectful, what you would do.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
But if you grew up, for example, in a house
with multiple siblings and everything was just fair game and
you just went in and did whatever, and all of
a sudden, now you are face living with somebody who
isn't used to that, and my stuff is my stuff,
and all of a sudden, you just go and take
it because like that's what you're used to doing, and
(28:56):
somebody else perceives that as you know, you're in eating
my privacy or you know, taking my stuff without question,
and it's not necessarily coming from a place of mal intent.
I would say more often than that, most people are
not doing things to be hurtful, intentionally hurtful. You didn't
get rid of that pan to you know, hurt Chad's feelings.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
It was in your mind.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Something that was chipped, broken, damaged, old, we have something better,
and you were in your mind solving a problem. And
again it was not coming from a place of malice.
It was just you were trying to be helpful. And
that whole communication piece and setting that appropriate expectation is
really important in general, and I especially would think that
(29:47):
as you're coming into a blended household, if the kids
are you know, depending on their ages, but I would
say from probably young you know, six eight years old
plus as they get older, like setting those like what
is important to you, what is it that you are
comfortable with and allowing people to have a voice as
(30:11):
opposed to feeling like okay, I'm just you know, I'm
just a guest here or I'm just this is my space,
and because I would think that that's not the environment
that you're trying to create.
Speaker 6 (30:23):
No, no, it's not at all. And really I sometimes
feel blended families, I mean, at least for mine, almost
communicate more and respect to each other more, because you know,
when you start off in a relationship with somebody and
then together you have kids and you grow, it's an
(30:45):
you know, you evolve, it's such a slower pace and
you kind of morph everything and together when you're blending,
you know, it's go time. There isn't you know, this
evolution is in warp speed, and you better be on
your feet and ready to compromise and pivot and listen
(31:07):
and you know, come up with solutions to any of
these obstacles or problems. You know that that happened to
come into your daily life, and keeping the daily life
simple and continually flowing is really really important.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
You know.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
For me, like I said, we don't have I don't
have a furnace, I don't have a thermometer. When we
first moved here, we had a wood stove and that
was a challenge for me and I couldn't get the
fire going and I couldn't keep it going and the
house would get cold.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (31:44):
Yeah, coming from Florida, you know, and chads out on
job sites, it's not like he can help me.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
And you know, I had lots of frustration.
Speaker 6 (31:53):
So we finally got a pellet stuff.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
So I get a little.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
Button I can push and you know, but I still
I have to go outside and I have to get
a bag of pellets and I have to pour it
in there. And so he made sure those pellets were
in an area that we're somewhat close, in a covered spot,
so that I can go out grab the pellets and
put them in myself. We also fires were really difficult
(32:18):
for me to start in the fireplace, so.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I now.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Usually and sept he go to.
Speaker 6 (32:30):
Spot and I buy boxes.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Oh wait, wait, come wait, kim pause one second. Our
our thing got unstable, like I okay, you were like
breaking up, and so I just I want to m
(33:03):
you're frozen, all right, Kimberly. We're gonna have to edit
this part out. Hopefully she'll come back. It was like
around and at thirty nine something.
Speaker 5 (33:23):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 7 (33:26):
Mm hmmmmmm. We foreheard Comba.
Speaker 8 (35:06):
What roll.
Speaker 5 (35:14):
Hope's coming back.
Speaker 8 (35:31):
Mm hm, get good of my teeth.
Speaker 7 (35:48):
Hope not mhm okay mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (36:51):
Ope, here we go.
Speaker 8 (36:55):
It's just super cute.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Okay, Hello, it's country living.
Speaker 4 (37:11):
It's okay, It's okay, you know, because there was one
other point midway through where you broke up a little bit,
but I didn't want to stop because it came right
back and I was like, we'll just put plow through.
Speaker 5 (37:21):
But that one got really bad, so I was that's
why I stopped. Then obviously completely first.
Speaker 6 (37:26):
So we have starlink and it's dumping snow right now,
so I think what happened is the snow melt feature.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
It's kicked on now.
Speaker 5 (37:36):
Yeah, no worries.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
We're in the home stretch anyway, so we'll figure I mean, yeah,
so I don't remember exactly where.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
I was talking about my wood and stuff.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
Yes, yes, I remember that.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Okay, So I'm gonna I'm just gonna kind of cut
to and Kimberly can work like figure out where to
the transitional be.
Speaker 5 (37:57):
So I'm just gonna pick it up the question. So
all right, here we go.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
So I guess my question is if we've got somebody
listening out there that is either good, like gonna be
taking this next step into kind of blending households, or
maybe they're there and have been struggling with certain things.
And I know you've given a lot of advice, but
if you could just kind of highlight, like, I don't know,
(38:25):
three to five things that you know, here, here's a
place to start, here's some things to think about.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
What would those what would those takeaways be?
Speaker 6 (38:36):
So Number one, I think you need to create your
clear zones for the family. You need your drop zone.
I think you need to simplify your kitchen. I think
you need to make your pantry simplistic labeled. I think
that you need to have a laundry station so that
everybody can do their own laundry. I think that's important
(38:59):
because I know for me, I didn't want to take
on three more people's laundry. So I think keeping things simple,
making things accessible, whether the kids are six or fifteen
or eighteen, making sure everybody can be self sufficient in
those major zones, you know, those major living areas that
keep your daily life functioning, I say make those as
(39:22):
functional as possible. Number two, determine what items have a
purpose and respect that those items are either going to
stay in the house or you know that item is
for that person and it's really not for everybody to
partake in or sit in or take to goodwill. But
(39:42):
understanding the importance of the things that you are bringing
into the home, and I think you need Number three.
You need to evaluate what stage you are in your life.
You know, for me, I was coming near the empty
nest zone, and so I had a little bit more
grace maybe and somebody coming in with much smaller kids.
(40:02):
You know, I had already been a mom for so long,
and for me, I knew it wasn't work and nothing
was worth overthinking. Everything was just going to solve itself
at some point. And so Chad had to go through
those stages on his own, and for me, it was
easier to sit back and just kind of observe and
just be there if he needed, you know, a listening ear.
(40:23):
But you need to determine where you are in your
journey and where your partner is in their journey and
figure out how those two are going to come together.
You know, we're in two very different places, but somehow
we communicated enough to make sure that those journeys meshed.
Number four, give everybody time you know, like I explained,
you know, if you start your relationship at birth, just
(40:47):
the two of you, and then have children, this is
a slow evolution. But when you're blending, that is you know,
it is zero to sixty and you need to give
yourself some time and definitely some great And then my
final one is it's so okay to make mistakes and
just learn from them. Make mistakes and learn from them.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
I love every single one of these and as you're talking,
these are these are just life skills that regardless of
whether this is a blended relationship situation or a nuclear
family relationship, like these are all so true and actionable
(41:31):
and universal across the board that I really really really
like them. And I hope, and I'm confident, but I
really hope that our listeners out there not don't only
just take this information for themselves and apply it, but
share this with a friend, like share this episode with
somebody that you know that might be going through transition,
and even if they did it a while ago, you know,
(41:52):
maybe there's an area that they want some guidance or
support or maybe just even validation for, Like I'm on
the right track.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
You know, so much of things that we do.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
Especially as parents that you're just like, well, I'm going
to figure it out and see what works. And just
when you hear that somebody else is doing this as well,
you're like, oh, I might be on the right track
as opposed to just going through going I don't know,
I'm trying to wing it.
Speaker 5 (42:19):
So I love those.
Speaker 6 (42:21):
Most of the obstacles that blended families and even not
blended families are dealing with, are really, if you just
peel it all the way down to the center, are
real simple, fixable obstacles, is really what they are. But
we just don't communicate enough, we don't speak up soon enough,
(42:44):
and so then it just compounds itself and it just
becomes such a bigger issue that really doesn't need to be.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
Yeah, case in point, the chair, chair, the.
Speaker 6 (42:55):
Chair, the pant, the shoes. You know, it's just okay,
you're not going to do that, but this is important
to me. So let's just get it figured out and
then we're done.
Speaker 5 (43:03):
Yeah, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
Before we take our last break, tell our listeners what's
the best place for them to connect up learn more
If they're in the Portland area and they want to
hire you or just Stoll you on social media just
all the things.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
All the things.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
Yes, I am outside and west of Portland in the
Washington County area and love to go into people zones
and help them out. I can be found on the
Internet at Rustic Home Organizing dot com or rh Organizing
dot com.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Either get you there. I can be.
Speaker 6 (43:40):
Found on Facebook at Rustic Home Organizing and then Instagram.
You can follow me at Rustic Underscore Home Underscore Organizing,
and my phone number is on my website. I'm happy
to take phone calls. You can also download my curated
home guide and that will also get you on my
(44:03):
newsletter that I send out. Not a lot, but I
do send one out that gives some tips and whatnot
throughout the year to help organize your home.
Speaker 5 (44:12):
And for all of our listeners out there who might be.
Speaker 4 (44:15):
New to our show, we include links to everything in
our show notes, so don't worry if you're out and
about walking the dog, just you know, in the car
driving somewhere. We will have everything directing you to Kim
and her business on our on our show notes, on
our web page, so you can access her there, and
(44:35):
of course you can also find her on our partner page.
Because she's one of our SBO partners. She's always accessible
through our website as well, so anyway you can connect
up with her. We're going to take one last break
when we come back, We're going to just do our
wrap up questions. So sit tight, all right, Kim. This
(44:59):
has been such a fun conversation and I just really
like soaked up all of this insight and wisdom that
you are sharing.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
So thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
We always like to talk to our guests about inspiration
because the show is really about inspiration and empowering people
and just like you said earlier, giving people grace. And
so I don't know, are you a reader? Are you
somebody who likes to read? Okay, good? So we ask
our guests and it's a selfish way for me to
(45:31):
get new book recommendations. Tell us a book that either
that you're reading and loving, or maybe a book that
has like been like transformational for you personally professionally that
maybe is your kind of one of your go to
books that you're like, this is a must I must read.
Speaker 6 (45:48):
I definitely have had some books that have transformed my
way of thinking and my way of living, but my
most recent favorite book is the one I'm going to
say okay, because it just really hit home to me
in the place I'm at in my life right now.
But it was Born to Shine by Kendra Scott Oh Okay.
(46:08):
Awesome book talks about her journey in building her business.
Speaker 5 (46:12):
I was going to say, yeah, and just.
Speaker 6 (46:15):
Her personal life and the challenges that she overcame, the
sadness in her life, and it is so inspirational, definitely
worth a read or a listen, whichever you do.
Speaker 5 (46:26):
Awesome.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
We will absolutely link to that in our show notes
as well, and then our last two questions that we
ask every yes in every episode in this particular season
of your life, Where do you feel the most organized
and where do you feel like a bit of a
hot mess?
Speaker 6 (46:43):
Definitely most organized in my pantry, in my kitchen, that
is just hands down. I love the organization in there
because it's easy to clean up at night, go to
bed with a nice clean kitchen, wake up to a
nice clean kitchen with your coffee.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
But yeah, I am an a salute.
Speaker 6 (47:00):
Hot mess is the back end of my business and
my photos, all right.
Speaker 5 (47:08):
So I can absolutely help you at the back end
of your business.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
That's what I'm here for we will be talking about that. Okay, photos, yeah, photos.
Are you talking digital photos or actual both?
Speaker 5 (47:22):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (47:23):
All right, Well we're that's that's a common one. That's
a common one for a lot of people. And we're
going to be doing some additional series or episodes on
some photo organization solutions because it's it is something that
is a struggle for a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Well, and I think the age we're at, we have this.
We have the physical ones.
Speaker 5 (47:48):
Yes, yes, and we have the yeah, yes, I agree.
So I don't go back, I don't wait.
Speaker 4 (47:56):
I just say let's start your habit from moving forward
and say starting like healthy and like let's let's get
organized moving.
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Forward from here on out.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Yes, love that.
Speaker 5 (48:08):
Yes, So do you manage them all on your phone?
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Or do you have they're all on my phone?
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Okay, all right, we're going to talk about that. We're
gonna we're going to do I think we're going to
do a clutter clinic and we'll do it maybe and
we'll we'll do it as a series. Maybe we'll do
clutter Clinic Digital and we'll do one on photos digital.
Speaker 6 (48:27):
Well, I think you need to do one just for
organizers too, you know, because my camera role is is
it's funny people's homes.
Speaker 4 (48:34):
It's funny that you say that, because so what I
do people real quick is and I've been doing this
for years and Shutterfly is not a sponsor, even though
they really I would love them to be. I for
years use a shared photos uh, put all of our
photos in Shutterfly, and I have an album by year
that each of our family members has access to. So
(48:57):
as they get photos on their phones, they don't always
upload them, but then I'll say, oh, dump that in
into the you know, twenty twenty two album, or if
we go on a vacation, we have a specific album
for that. And so that way we could I could
create a book, or everyone has access to all of
(49:17):
the photos and then you could theoretically.
Speaker 5 (49:21):
Clear them off your phone.
Speaker 4 (49:22):
I don't always do that in the spirit of transparency,
but it allows me to have one central place for
the ease of retrieval, and that to me is again
what it goes back to the ease of retrieval.
Speaker 5 (49:31):
How quickly can you get it?
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Now, the problem with organizers, and I'm sure this goes
for other people, but especially for us, is that, like
you said, if I score through my camera roll. Two thirds,
maybe even more of my pictures are of people's before
and afters, you know, or products that I'm taking pictures off,
(49:53):
and so you want to make sure that we're not
holding onto those and that's like where you're getting those,
And so I think there is two different kind of
categories of you know, how are you navigating those photos?
So we'll definitely do a webinar on that. I'll find
somebody that's an expert in that area to come and facilitate.
Speaker 5 (50:15):
Awesome, Well, Kim, thank you so much again.
Speaker 4 (50:18):
Kim rih Home Organizing in the Portland metro area. If
this is your first time tuning in, welcome, so glad
to have you here. Like I said earlier, please do
your friends a favor share this episode with them and
if there's a topic that you want to hear about,
(50:39):
let us know, just shoot us a DM. On social media,
we have a podcast Facebook group called this Organized Life Podcast.
Speaker 5 (50:46):
You could post your questions comments.
Speaker 4 (50:48):
In there, and of course, if you feel so inclined
to leave us a rating and review, we.
Speaker 5 (50:53):
Do appreciate that. So thank you so much for tuning in.
Until next week. I'm Lori Palau. Peace out. Thanks for
tuning in.
Speaker 4 (51:01):
If you'd liked this episode, please spread the love and
share it with your friends. And if this is your
first time joining us, make sure to click the subscribe
button wherever you're listening so you never miss an episode.
And while you're there, please leave us a review so
other people knew that our show is worth to listen.
You can also find us on YouTube and Instagram at
This Organized Life Podcast, and if you'd like to connect
(51:21):
with us, you can head on over to our website
at simply the letter, b like boyorganized dot com, which
is filled with tons of resources, including free downloads, checklists,
links to our amazing organizing partners, and all of our
digital offerings. I'll see you next week for another episode
of This Organized Life
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!