Best of This Organized Life: Procrastination and The Enneagram with Brittany Thomas | Ep 451

All summer long, we’re bringing back some of our most-loved episodes from the This Organized Life archives—because let’s be honest, good conversations deserve a second (or third) listen.


Joining me today is Brittany Thomas. Brittany is a certified Enneagram coach and educator. She is also the founder of the popular Instagram account @eneagramexplained.Today’s topic is all about PROCRASTINATION.   

During our conversation Brittany opens up about her own struggles with procrastination as an Enneagram 1 (the perfectionist).We talk about clutter and organization in her home as a parent of 5 kids ranging in age from seventeen to eight.Brittany walks us through each of the types and shares her insights into how procrastination looks with all nine types.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This Organized Life. If you're a mom, wife,
or coffee lover seeking advice on how to reduce clutter
and reclaim time, look no further than your host, Laurie Hellau,
Founder Simply Be Organized and author of hot Mess, a
practical guide to getting organized. For a lot of people,
clutter is their dirty little secret, but it doesn't have
to be. Each week, we will.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Share practical tips, chat with experts.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
And provide strategies on how to keep you organized. I
hope that by sharing our stories you feel a little
less alone and more empowered to tackle the areas that
are holding you back.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
So let's get started.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
Hi everybody, and welcome to today's episode of This Organized
Life podcast. I'm your host, Lorid Palau, and I'm really
excited that you are here. We are kicking off a
new series. And for anybody that's been around me for
a minute knows how much I love the enneagram.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
And I love it because for a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Of reasons, but one of the reasons in particular is
it gives us language to use to help improve our
communication and understand a little bit about why we thrive
in certain areas and why we struggle in certain areas,
and again, so much conflict that comes from people one
persons having certain expectations over certain things, specifically when it

(01:24):
comes to clutter and an organization, if you're looking at roommates
or spouse's or parent child. Really there's just so many
different areas that we can dive into an unpack.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
And so if you are brand new to the enneagram,
we've done.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
Series before, you can absolutely go back and check those out.
But today we're going to focus in on the series
that we're starting has to do with our five clutter pitfalls. Now,
I talk about in Hot Mass the three main types
of clutter, which as you guys know, are physical clutter
the stuff that you see, emotional clutter, which is the
guilt and fear and all that stuff that holds us back.

(02:01):
And then of course we talk about calendar clutter, which
is being overscheduled. And then the next step in our
identifying where we struggle with clutter is looking at those
five clutter pitfalls, and we're going to run through them.
I'm going to give a very top line overview, but
every episode in this series is going to focus in
on one of the pitfalls and specifically how that particular

(02:26):
pitfall relates to the different types on the enneagram. So
the five clutter pitfalls, just to remind you, guys, are procrastination, indecision, guilt,
and its little sister twin sister fear, overwhelm, and then
of course time. And so today I felt like it
would be way too much, way too overwhelming, and a

(02:49):
super long episode to cover all of them in one.
Like I said, we're breaking it down into a series,
and today we're kicking it off talking all about procrastination.
And so I decided for this particular series, I wanted
to seek out the advice and input from a lot
of Any Graham experts that are so joining me today
is Brittany Thomas. And many of you might be familiar

(03:12):
with Brittany from her Instagram handle which is called Anyagraham explained,
and she's based in southern California where she goes with
her husband and five kiddos. She's an Anya Graham one
with a nine wing and we can talk a little
bit about that, and she's a certified Any Graham coach
and enthusiast. And I reach out to her and I

(03:34):
explained what we were doing, and she said, I would
absolutely love to come on and talk about this. So,
without further ado, let me welcome my new friend Brittany
to the show. Welcome Brittany, Hey, thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
She'll be sure.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Yeah, I'm really excited to dive into this.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
And before we were talking, before we hit record, you
and I were just chatting. And again, the anagram is
so encompassing. There's so many different layers that we can
you could it's easy to go down a rabbit hole
and it's easy to oftentimes get overwhelmed.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
And I said, we're arn't the purposes. I'm hoping to
try to.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Give likectionable, like bite sized, digestible content for our listeners.
So I'm really excited that you're going to be walking
us through this. But before we get into everything, I'm
wondering if you could just tell our listeners a little
bit about you.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
I feel like you kind of ever think about me already.
I am a centivite Enneagram coach. I do have five
kids ranging from seventeen to eight, which sounds like a lot,
but based on my husband and my personality, they've molded
into what we need so it doesn't seem as chaotic
as it is. And yeah, I'm in southern California. I

(04:50):
was born and raised here, transferred to Seattle for almost
eighteen years, and I'm back in southern California now, which
is interesting now that I'm older.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
I'm just curious, So what are your mix of boys
to girls and your crew?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah? I got two boys followed by three girls, so
oh wow, the gender is separate was convenient.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yeah, you're definitely like in the give this spectrum of
what we're almost out the door, and yet we still
have the lower heads.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
It's very weird. It's I do really well with babies, okay,
and even kids. It's this transition period where I'm in now,
where I'm letting go of the rains and my older
ones and letting them get a job. And my two
elves will be both dual enrolling in college this fall,
and so I'm not homeschooling them anymore and hoping that

(05:42):
they have what it takes to survive college. My oldest
is alreadybby year, so he's actually doing just fine, which
is good. It helps reassure it.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
That's the first born, that's the first oh year.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
I know, we could just toss him in a room
full of books and he would have a college education eventually,
because he's just like a kid. But I'm getting there.
I'm not really ready for him to actually move out
of the house yet. That is an area I'm going
to have the leg go eventually.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
We can talk about that because I am all about
my oldest just well, she just graduated college and recently
just moved to Chicago, so we're in the Northeast, so
I can talk all about that whole season. It is
a very different style of parenting, that is for sure,
But I want to really dive in today, So tell

(06:29):
us just before we get into it. I'm always curious
give us your kind of any Agraham journey, Like how
did you get introduced to the enneagram? How did this
become something that you're like, I wanted just more than
just like a conversation starter at a party. We really
want to dive into this and turn this into a career.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
So I actually Dudley Hills against the ending ground when
I first heard about it. I don't know why. I
thought it was a fad and I didn't just want
to jump in and follow the crowd, so I actually
held off while all my friends were getting into it.
Eventually something clicked and so I just borrowed all the
library books, went down a huge rabbit hole the aneagram,
started doing Uneagram book groups with my friends. Started my

(07:08):
Instagram account because I needed somewhere to just blurt out
all the Enneagram stuff without ruining my personal feed and
my friends hating me. So that's why I started the
Anagram account initially, and then I got servied as a
coach because I realized that was just the next step.
If I'm already this deep in, I might as well
actually make this more of a career, and so that's

(07:31):
where I started. It's one of those things where I
think at first it was just another personality test. It
was cool, I liked that explained who I was. And
then as you got deeper and I realized there was
more to it, I think it was just this eye
opening thing of I now could see that there are
eight other types besides my type of how to see

(07:52):
the world, how to interact with the world. It really
helped me have more grace for other people because based
on my personality type as a one, I have a
very like black and right, right and wrong mentality and
self create Aneagram. I just judged everybody or thought they
just why can't you handle this. This isn't a big deal.

(08:13):
You should be able to do this, but it was.
I could, but that doesn't mean the other eight types
could of And so it's given me a lot more
grace and understanding of how people work, and so I
can actually be nicer to them or have normal expectation
instead of my high expectations.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
Absolutely, yeah, one hundred percent.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
And I always say, well, I think it's great to
first obviously, like most things, start with yourself, but it
is really helpful when you if you're in conversations with people,
whether it's again spouses or coworkers or whatever, that also
have an understanding of the anagram. And again it gives

(08:52):
you context for knowing, oh, this is going to we
need to have a longer runway, this person's going to
we need to just pull the trigger, or this person's
gonna have to analyze it five times before they do something.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
Anyway, I love that.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
Okay, we talked about, or I mentioned at the top
of the episode, obviously the five clutter pitfalls, and I
really thought it would be helpful if we really looked
to procrastinate but won them and just went through almost
all the types, giving an overview of what each one
is and you're going through it. And then because we
sell people that are in that self discovery mode. And

(09:28):
I don't know about you, but I believe that the
best way to learn about the enneagram is really self discovery,
not just a quiz. It's a great starter, but as
it's not always the most accurate, So the more that
we can hear from people like yourself explaining it, sometimes
it clicks when you hear one person explain it versus

(09:49):
somebody else. I'm going to turn the reins over to
you and let you take it away.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Okay, So, as you've mentioned, there are nine Enneagram types,
and I will preface right now that there is way
more to it than just nuring tune sorry, narine types.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
There's a lot more.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's the tip of the iceberg to find your type.
There's a whole bunch more underneath that's actually going to
be affecting you too. But you do need to find
the main type because that's what we're going to be
most of your growth work and stuff is. I'm going
to categorize them a little bit based on there and
call them triads or their center of intelligence, which is
just each of these groups takes in the world and

(10:31):
processes that either through their thinking, they're feeling, or they're doing.
And sometimes I'm going to preface that doesn't seem what
you do right off the bat. So I think I
process with doing and I'm very much ado, but I
would also think, no, I'm a thinker too. I think
all the time, but doing is what my first instinct

(10:52):
is to do. And so sometimes it'll get a little
hazy of like you feel like, I mean, we all
use all three, we just use one dominantly, and so
I'm going to break them up based on those so
that you can see, oh, I'm probably in this group.
I'm probably a doer. I'm probably a feeler or a thinker.
But then I'll break it up by the nine types too, sir,
I can actually hopefully find their type, or if not,

(11:13):
find a few that kind of resonate with. The first
one I'm going to do is then it's technically called
the dut triad, but they're doing or instinct based, and
so they're not really thinking about things first. It's just
so that needs to be done, I'm going to do that,
or it doesn't need to be done, and I'm not
going to do that since we're talking about procrastination and so, yeah,

(11:34):
so been the doing triad is eight, nine and one,
and so I'm actually going to start with eight. Which
did you say you were an eight?

Speaker 4 (11:42):
I was just going to say, I didn't want to interrupt.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
I'm like, I'm an eight and I love to hear
how people describe and to see where I'm like, was
I knew my type early on and I didn't ob skewed?
Did you recognize your type didn't jump out at you
when you first learned about where you're like, oh, yeah,
that's definitely nay.

Speaker 4 (11:58):
Or did it take you a little while.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
I actually mistyped as a six initially. I have my
father to blame for a bit of that, because he
ingrained so much of his type six traits in me
that I just recognized those traits initially. And so my
big thing that I always talk about is you're trades,
being squat linik ship points to the enneagram at least
in finding your type. And so it wasn't until I

(12:22):
actually looked at the core motivations, which we'll get to
in a second, that I realized, oh, I have a
lot that looks like a six. But I actually am
in a one because I do all those things for
the motivation of one and not six's motivation. Yeah, it
was one of those things where six was very high,
one was very high, but it took me a while
to actually figure out which one I was.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
Yeah, and that happens for a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
I just mind like screamed right out of me and
I was like yeah, and I read it and read
more and I was like, yeah, this is what it is.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
But let's talk about it.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
So we're going to talk about we're sharing with the
gut tryad people so or the teaching. Instead of starting
at one, we're starting at eight.

Speaker 4 (13:02):
So here we go.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
And I actually hate starting at any other number than
one because I like to go numerically. But it works
for the trias exactly, So go for it, all right,
So eights are going to be I'm going to give
you the motivation first and then I'll work it into
the how it works with procrastinations. So eights want to
be strong, independent, protective of themselves, but also it'll include

(13:28):
those close to them. They're people, and so I think
a lot of times that gets let out with Type
aids is they get perceived as this strong bully, but
really they're just trying to protect themselves and their closest people,
and so that's what they're motivated for. But their core fear,
the flip side of it is they don't want to
be weak or harmed or controlled. Not necessarily that they

(13:53):
have to be the ones in control, but they have
to if they're being controled, if somebody's above them, they've
got to have somebody who they trust, their authority, who's
doing it. Well. If somebody is not controlling the situation,
well the eight will take over because it needs to
be done right or justly. That's the core motivation. But
working into the procrastination side of things, they type eights

(14:16):
might procrastinate because they don't want others telling them what
to do. Even if it's somebody telling you, okay, you
need to be at this party starts at two. An
eight might be like, no, this is my weekend, it's
my time. I'm going to show up when I want to.
I don't know if that resonates with you. I know
somebody like that and putting it out there, but it's

(14:37):
that I'm.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Not a big procrastinator in general. And again I'm just
speaking for myself, and not every eight looks the same
or any type looks the same. I actually procrastination causes
me anxiety, so I don't procrastinate for the most part.
There are things that I will kick the can down
the road a little bit, and it's mostly because I

(14:58):
find them boring or not interesting or fun. I'm actually
a procrastiner when it comes to packing we're going away.
I'm somebody that will wait till the last minute because
I'm just like, it's annoying and I don't really care
for it. Yeah, it comes to like important things like
a project, a deadline. Even in school, like I was
somebody that would The thought of leaving something to the

(15:20):
last minute caused me anxiety, so I would rather get
ahead of it and leave that margin in case something
went wry, then wait to the last minute.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
I think if that makes sense or if anything out
there can relate, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
I'm a one, but I totally resonate with that. And
I think my son's in me, and I think that's
very similar. And he's a first born eat so that
might have some of it too, But he's so much
everything's done on time or early. I don't usually have
to worry about dragging him out of bed to go somewhere.
But yeah, so these are all They're going to be
some sort of basics. Most of this hopefully will hit.

(15:53):
But like I said, there's this tip of the icebury
that we're hitting, and then there's a whole bunch of
other reasons you could be progressed needing. Even just your
Meyers Briggs type could have effects into it, or how
you were raised well affects. This won't be the one
answer of why you procrastinate.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
Yeah, no, And I always tell people and it's worth repeating,
like the enneagram in general, and how we apply it
here at this organized life, it's really just again I
call it a framework to give you tools in your toolbox.

Speaker 4 (16:27):
It is not the gospel, It is not the excuse,
it is not all of those things.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
It is just to give you an understanding and some
hopefully some clarity, like you said, some grace and some
language to be able to say, Okay, why is this
strategy not working? Or what strategies can we use that
are going to make sense? Because a strategy that works
for an eight might be totally different than the strategy
that works for four and as opposed to either white

(16:55):
knuckling your way through flatter and organization or anything in
your life.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
But specifically for our purposes.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Let's try to use the language of the strategies and
the systems that are going to just align organically with
what already works. Yeah, definitely, all right, so let's talk
about let's move to the nines. Do you have any
nines in your family?

Speaker 4 (17:16):
I do.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
I have a lot in my extended family. And then
I have one child who he's probably a nine. He's
still teetering like a nine wood and I'm pretty sure
he isn't, but we're still letting him kind of work
through things. But yeah, I have quite a few nines.
For some reason, a nine's going to be motivated by
wanting to have peace, and that can be external peace

(17:38):
with people in their lives and being connected to them,
but it can also be internal peace. I have an
earning that she has to clean the house all the
time because clutter will disrupt her piece. She'll be way
too messed up with it. And so it can be
a little bit of both. It can be more on
one side or the other. They also want to be
like harmoniously connected to others. They don't want conflict or

(18:01):
discord or any sort of fragmentation in their relationships, and
they can procrastinate. Usually if their piece is going to
be disrupted or if they fear like taking action might
cause conflict with somebody, they will put it off because
they don't want to cause conflict, and so they just don't.
And that's typically why and nine might procrastinate. They are

(18:26):
in the doing triad. But I will add that theirs
is a little bit tricky. So they notice what needs
to go, they notice what needs to happen. They'll instinctively
know this needs to happen, somebody should do something about this,
but they don't necessarily connect it to I need to
do this. They might think it needs to be done,
but it's not my place. I'm not whatever for that job.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
I have a daughter, My older daughter is a nine,
and she is a master procrastinator. And I think a
lot of this she's Her personality is very chill. She
absolutely as conflict avoid and does.

Speaker 4 (19:01):
Not like it at all.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
She's the type of person and again this is also
very individual specific. Like when she was in school, like
she could wait to the last minute and that never
stressed her out and she was still able to get
like really good grades. And I kept saying, when you
get to college, when you get to high school, this
it's going to be a problem, and it wasn't. When
you get to college, this is going to be a problem,
and it wasn't. And so it's hard when you are

(19:26):
not it's not a pain point. So the procrastination for
her was not a pain point. And so I think
for a lot of people, it's if I can do that,
if I can wait till the eleventh hour and I
still am able to land on top why And I
see that a lot with like parents and kids, or
specifically when it comes to I want you to clean
your room or do the dishes or whatever it is,

(19:48):
and they're like, I'll get to it later.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
It's not bothering me. I call those people clutter blind.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
It's if it's not, if they don't, if it's not
something that is really in their way, it just doesn't
isn't a priority. Yeah, And so I feel like for
a lot of people, specifically some of the nines that
I've meant, and I don't know if you see this
in your work, but again I'm looking at through that
lens of clutter and organizations a lot of the nines,

(20:15):
like they look at like the breakfast Isians are sweating
the small stuff and we don't want to sweat the
small stuff.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
It definitely could be a lot of that. I was
you touched on the point of them being like clutter blind.
I think too good a line of growth for a
nine to figure think about, especially in this area, is
they don't care about the clutter because it's not bothering them.
And maybe they put it off because they don't want

(20:41):
to disrupt their peace, or maybe they're putting off having
a hard talk with somebody because they don't want that
piece disrupted. Right. But the trick for the nine to
learn is that they're avoiding conflict now, but they're actually
creating conflict in the long term. Like a parent asking
your kid to clean up. They don't care, it's not

(21:03):
their problem, but they're causing conflict with their parent now
because now their parent is angry that they didn't clean
their room in five minutes, because it would only five minutes.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
I always say, and I literally I'm not sure if
it dropped yet or not. We do this like tip
of the Week on Mondays, and one of them that
I've done is and this is like my new phrase
that I've been using a lot is choose your herd.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
You're either gonna is it.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
Do you want to take the time now and do
it and yes it's going to be annoying, but you're
saving time later. Or do you want to kick the
can down the road not put yourself away whatever, and
then when the time comes that you need it, you're
scrambling around. So just choose your heart. And I feel
like that is something that I'll use it for a
lot of different types. But yeah, I think a lot

(21:48):
of times they want I think that's a great example
of yeah, I don't want to rock the boat, but
it definitely can come back to bite them later.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, And I think that's probably actually true all of
our types. Is like the thing we're avoiding, we're actually
creating at the same time, even if it's this bigger,
grand scale so moving into ones, but yeah, I am
always avoiding making mistakes or the wrong action. I'm actually
creating this bigger, less perfect for myself because mistakes are

(22:23):
normal and it's okay if I make a bad decision.
I mean generally there's definitely some that are worse, which
is totally my type one. No it's not okay, but
I'm missing this whole bigger picture of the ultimate, big good,
big perfect includes mistakes because it's just not achievable for

(22:44):
me to actually be one hundred percent perfect. But yeah,
I think a lot of times those things we avoid
they come back to bite us and we're actually not
doing ourselves a certain I.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
Just I just wrote that down anybody that's watching on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
But I'm always in like taking notes when ever somebody says,
I guess says something that I'm like, oh, to repeat that.
I think that's so true. And yeah, I talk to
a lot of ones. I don't know if this if
you can relate to this or not. But I always,
for years would teach when I would be whether working
on one with a client, er if I was giving
like a workshop, and I would say just start small,

(23:17):
just do fifteen minutes a day and move on, because
to me, I'm like, okay, you're chipping away at it.
And that was how I looked at it, and I
when I started learning at the Enneagram, I started talking
to a bunch of ones and they were like, that
stresses me out. If I can't finish, if I can't
finish it. I don't want to start it. And I
was like, oh, like, it's causing me unrest to start

(23:41):
this and know that it's like in mid process and
I can't complete it. And so my approach was okay,
let's it completely shifted and I was like, Okay, so
we know that we have this project we want to tackle.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
How can we when can we carve out.

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Time for you to be able to do it from
start to finish as opposed to say, let's just do
a little break from at a time, because that was
more anxiety producing.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, No, totally resonate with that. And yeah, even to
the smallest things, right like my kitchen, see has to
be empty at night, so this thing needs to be done. Yeah,
And some of that is just because I don't want
to wake up in the morning and be like, oh,
now I have to start the day with a chore
where there's the piece. If it's gone in the morning,
it's a clean start. I can start with my normal
to do list instead of this extra one. But yeah,

(24:27):
I don't want to start organizing a closet unless I
can finish organizing the closet that same time.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
Safe and I talk a lot about my husband's I
don't know, we're not there yet, but my husband's a
three And I always, even before I knew anything about
the enneagram, I always said, on your tombstone, it's going
to say done is better than perfect, because he's all
about just get it done, just get it done and
put it out there. And I feel like, when it
comes to procrastination, the one is the complete opposite. They're like, no,

(24:56):
it has to be I have to write it, rewrite it,
make sure it ismpletely before I put anything out into
the world.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
I have to do that.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
And so that in and of itself breads procrastination, even
if they're not even if they're getting a jumpstart on it,
it's that execution of let's get this completed and done.

Speaker 4 (25:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, we findantally brings up definitely talked a lot about one,
but to actually properly cover them, that's the thing. For ones,
it's like, we want it good, perfect, we don't want
any mistakes. We don't want anything half done. We don't
want it to be the wrong choice, and so we
will put off things because we're afraid if I started,

(25:40):
it's not going to be perfect, or I might make
a mistake. Or like me, like I will put off
choosing and calling a dentist if it's like a new dentist,
because I am afraid of making the wrong choice. Some
of us do to pass dentist trauma, but like, I
am afraid that I'm going to have to go now
sit at a dentist and find out they were the

(26:00):
wrong one for me, and so I will put it
off forever despite needing.

Speaker 4 (26:04):
To go to the diving tast Interesting. Yeah, I love that,
and I again, I think.

Speaker 3 (26:10):
For people it's so helpful to just have this insight
because on the exterior, somebody might come home and again
I'm not throwing your husband, I'm just saying your husband
be like did you make those Geni's appointments? And you're
like no, and he might be like what are you
talking about? Like or vice versa. Like I could see
myself getting annoyed at Josh for not doing something and

(26:30):
me just going what were you doing? Or you I
hate the word lazy, but we're just being lazy or
why didn't you prioritize that? And really you were like overthinking.
So I think that's that's such a relevant point. Yeah,
all right, should we move into the next.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
But yeah, we can move into the next s edge,
we'll move into our feelers. So they're going to be
very much I think they might most of them probably
fall into your like more emotional clutter, Eric, Yeah, they
probably have trouble with that, Not that they can't have
problems with the other areas, but I think that might
be a harder one for most of them because they're

(27:07):
taking in everything through their feelings and how either they
feel or how they want others to feel. And so
that's types two, three, and four. And type two is
they want everything, So this is a core motivation. They
want to be needed or wanted, appreciated. Lovable, loved is

(27:27):
sometimes used. I actually like to use lovable because everybody
wants to be loved, and I feel like there's a
slight difference there. But the flip side being is they
don't want to be unwanted or not needed or not appreciated.
And so a two might procrastinate because one, they already
have a very hard time of putting their needs before

(27:49):
anybody else's needs, so they might be busy doing it
and everybody else's things and putting off their things because
their things aren't going to make them needed or wanted,
although I think they picture they would because people want
to help you, but they're so focused on making themselves
wanted and needed by others, So they're going to be
piling their calendar with other people's staff, or they don't

(28:14):
want to. It could even be like they don't want
to purge their nicknap that great So gave them because
they don't want great suit and not like them because
they got rid of their thing and now they're not wanted. Right,
there's a lot of this connection of it. I'm going
to do everything to focus on other people so that
I'm still wanted and needed, and a lot of their

(28:35):
personal stuff will get pushed to the side and they'll
procrastinate on that.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah, I think a lot of twos and again, and
I talk a lot about this in the framework that
I put is like how each one of the types
can struggle with the physical clutter, the emotional clutter, and
calendar clutter, which are all intertwined. Right, If you have
calendar clutter and you're never at home to do the thing,
you're going to have physical clutter. If you are so

(29:00):
emotionally tied to things that you can't ever let anything go.
Then you're gonna have physical clutter if you're critically buying things,
so they all relate to one another, which they're not linear.
But yeah, two specifically, I think one of the biggest things,
or two of the big things, which you touched on beautifully,
was again about that I'm just gonna drop what I'm

(29:20):
doing to help somebody else. That energizes then makes that
worth and then also again the procrastination of which goes
deeper into the other pitfalls of but it really is
starting that whole again, like you said, that emotional clutter,
or what if I get rid of this high chair
and somebody comes to my house and they have a.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
Two year old. I don't have a high chair, even
though your kids are fifteen.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
I have a few things like that. I still have
my baby carrier, and it's not so much for other people.
That's more of what if I'm babysitting somebody's kid and
I want a carrier, But yeah, that would be my
I'm growing my two wings, So it's in.

Speaker 4 (29:57):
There exactly exactly.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
Let's fit the threes because I think threes and I'm
curious as an anagram I'll say an anagram expert, that's
done a lot of work. I know threes are in
the feeling center, but in the threes that I know
don't seem very feeling dominant, And I'm just wondering if
you can elaborate on them.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah, I'll start, And I touched on this with nine,
but like nine, three, and six, they're all in this
weird they're literally in a triangle. So it's like a
Barmeuda triangle, them being dominant in their triad, but they're
also repressed in their triad. And a like I said
with the nine, they notice they instinctively know what needs

(30:38):
to be done, but they don't necessarily do it. A
three notices the feelings of others or the expectations of others. Right,
they can read the room and they will morph into
what is needed for that room to make them valued
or admired or whatever. But they aren't very aware of

(30:59):
their own feelings, and they're very aware of others, not
so much of their own or if they think they
have their own feelings, sometimes they can be mistaking their
own feelings for other people's feelings, so they've grapped it
on themselves.

Speaker 4 (31:14):
See.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
So, yeah, they're in the feeling tad, but they're not
really in the feeling traad. They might not be very
attached to physical items. They might have no problem purging
everything from years past, but they will procrastinate if they
think they will become not valued or not admired by

(31:36):
whatever action needs to be taken.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
Or these touch on what the core mode.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
I notice, but the core motivation of the three because
I think, I jump that's my fault.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
I jumped ahead to.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
No, you're fine, yea, I so yeah, three wants to
be valued, admired and some of this I feel like
the hardest part with the feeling group is a lot
of their core motivations bleed into each other look a
little bit similar and so valued, admired, successful, which does
not always mean like they want to be the top

(32:07):
of the corporate ladder. They just want to be successful
in whatever realm they're in, even if it's like just
their family. And like I said, it sounds a little
bit like it too, and it'll sound a little bit
like a form when we get there, but it's very
much almost I think, deep deep down they want to
be valued for who they actually are without all their actions,

(32:28):
but they get caught up in the actions. What I do,
I hope I'm valued for and stuff like that. And
the opposite side of that is they don't want to
not be valued or admired, and the opposite of success
is failure, so they don't want to fail. And yeah,
their procrastination is going to focus around that of I
don't want to attempt this new task at job, at

(32:51):
my work, because if I fail at it, then the
worst thing in the world has just been different. Go
at it, or if I helendar clutter. I think is
a big thing for threes, because oh, for sure, a
lot to do, and for the most part, they actually
can do a lot. I resonate with threes a lot.
Actually they can do a lot of things.

Speaker 4 (33:11):
But I always say it because it annoys me.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
They're like the one type that can actually multitask, which
I know people say you could multitask, you should multitask,
and I've been preaching that for years, and I would
look at my husband and I'd be like, how can
you be watching TV working on a presentation and then
like your your iPad open to a sporting event and

(33:36):
be doing all of them?

Speaker 4 (33:38):
And I don't know that's how my brain works, right,
I don't know if that's an eighty.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
I don't know if that's his add if it's his three,
but I it's something that the more threes that I've
talked to over the years, they really have this innate
superpower to be able to juggle things, which also gives
a false sense of security that I can handle and
add more onto my calendar.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yes, so, yeah, yeah, very much. I always give an
example because I have a bit of three in me
even though I'm a one. But I will say yes
and keep adding my spinning plates, and I don't realize
that I can't do it until I add on that
last one, and then they all start coming crashing down

(34:22):
because I actually am quite capable, but I don't actually
know how many plates is my limit. And then the
al fall.

Speaker 3 (34:31):
That's a great analogy because I think a lot of
people can relate to that. It's I'll take a pilem
until literally that's the last straw, and then that's what's
set to.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
Over the edge.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
I yeah, I think I in my experience, and I've
talked about this, most of the threes that I know.

Speaker 4 (34:50):
Actually have a visceral reaction to physical clutter.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
They don't like to see it. I think it has
to do with that image. We don't because clutter in
and of itself, a lot.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
Of people just looks like chaos.

Speaker 3 (35:02):
And threes want to be that perception, that image of
we have it together, and so the physical space of organization,
even if it's shoved away, not even properly.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
Yeah, but that's.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
Why it's we just want to see clean services. We
don't want to see clutter. We don't want to see
things out of place. But that doesn't mean that they're
intentional about organizing it per se. It just means that
we are. We just want to get it out.

Speaker 4 (35:32):
Of our site. They're very much out of sight, out
of mind.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Yeah, it's how little can we do to make this
look good and be successful? But they'll procrastinate on fully finishing, right,
Like I've heard story those threes who remodel the house
and it's most of the way done, but this area
is done. But it's because now I'm focused on this goal.
I need to crush this goal and be successful here.

(35:56):
Nobody's really going to see the unfinished bathroom. It's our bathroom,
we only use it. It's okay, I've got this now
to focus on, And so they can procrastinate finishing things.
They're actually pretty good at starting. It's the finishing that
they'll put off.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
Yes, yes, so true, so true. Okay, let's move into
the force.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Yes. Fours are probably your most feely feeling. They're very
much on their feelings, though, and they're motivated by wanting
to find meaning who they truly are. They want signific
into finding who they truly are. They want to have

(36:34):
significance for who they are, not significant for what they do,
like a three mite. And the opposite is they don't
want to have no meaning. They don't want to be
a cog in the machine. They want to have some
sort of ultimately deep purpose in life. And they will
get caught up procrastinating because they aren't in the mood

(36:54):
or they don't feel like doing something. And I know
that sounds superficial to how many of us, but for them,
if I don't feel it, then it's not authentically me.
I'm not being who I truly am if I forced
myself to do the dishes. I want to go walk
in nature, paint or listen to music and really connect

(37:15):
with my soul. And so they put off some of
the mundane things because they don't feel like it. Of course,
The problem is if you don't do your dishes, you
can't cook a really creative meal when you feel like it.
You got to get the mundane out of the way.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
Yes, and I again for our long term listeners, they
know this before our new listeners, like my other daughter
is a four, and it was again before I had
any enneagram knowledge or language to use. It was trying
to get her specifically when it came to organization and clutterly,
there was a lot and she has ADHD on top

(37:52):
of it, so it was trying to manage the lack
of executive function that was not developed properly intuitively for her.
And then on top of that, everything had feelings. So
the thought of getting rid of things and purging things,
we had to go down memory lane and again without
going down a whole rabbit hole.

Speaker 4 (38:13):
There were so many things, and.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
Really I had to use completely different organizing strategies with
her than I would with somebody else, because I had
if I wanted to authentically not just come in and
do it, but really get her to own that process.
Because again I said, my job is to make you
a functioning member of society, so I need to teach

(38:35):
you this. I can't just come in here and do it,
and that I had to learn.

Speaker 4 (38:40):
I want to get other tools and buy toolbox.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
We able to teach her because what worked in a
very kind of logical, analytical mainstream, what I might call
common sense way, didn't dect in land with her, and
so I needed to say, Okay, what language can we use,
what methods can we instill that is going to allow

(39:07):
that it's going to set you up for success so
that you can still be authentic to who you are
and for anyone out there like it's possible because she's
come so far and now she recognizes that in order
for her to be creative in her space, she can't

(39:28):
be surrounded by a lot of physical clutter that it
takes away.

Speaker 4 (39:31):
It sucks the energy, it sucks the distraction.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
So if she wants to be creative, we need to
Even though it may start to build up for her
more than maybe some other types may accumulate, she knows
that she.

Speaker 4 (39:45):
Has her own kind of breaking point.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
That's a great. Yeah. I actually have a four daughter
as well, and she's actually very organized. It's probably all
my Type one traits ingrained on her with the physical
so she's constantly rear organizing and organizing her and her
sister's stuff that you are correct that memories and old
paperwork and stuff. She definitely still is, thankfully they're all

(40:10):
organized in one box. But for her, it's procrastinating on
taking action on her dreams. And some of that is
fear based, but a lot of it, I think is
she doesn't want to go through the month we got
her guitar because she wanted to play guitar, and she
does not stick with practicing, even the most lowest level practicing.

(40:33):
She just she's not in the mood for it. She
wants to do something else in that moment. And so
you're never going to be a guitar career if you
don't sit down and do the boring stuff. We all
have to go through that. But yeah, for her, it's
procrastinating on her dreams in that sense.

Speaker 4 (40:50):
So I don't love it. I don't love it for her,
but I love that.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
I love that description because I do I see that
also with again, like you said, I don't feel it's
that I don't feel like it. I don't. So I
love that we're going to take a quick break and
then we're gonna come back and We're going to dive
all into.

Speaker 4 (41:11):
The head triad. So sit tight.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
Hey, guys, I just want to tell you about an
upcoming webinar that I'm going to be hosting on Wednesday,
the September the twentieth. Now, I know it's a little
ways away, but we're going to be opening up the
doors soon for you to register for the webinar, But
for now, we are going to be having a wait
list because this webinar is only going to be limited
to one hundred people and is geared towards anybody that

(41:36):
is interested in either starting a professional organizing business wondering
if this is the right fit for them.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
Maybe they're just like trying to figure out.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
What their next natural step is and they like organizing
and want to say, is this something that I might
be interested in doing professionally? Or maybe you have an
organizing business and it's not necessarily growing the way that
you want, or you're not a tracting the clients that
you want, And so if you fall into any of
those categories, I strongly encourage you to sign up to

(42:08):
attend this webinar.

Speaker 4 (42:09):
It's completely free and.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
We'll be giving away lots and lots of free content
and information. Thanks for you to think about moving forward.
And then anybody that attends gets first crack at joining
my mentoring my one on one mentoring program.

Speaker 4 (42:31):
Which is limited to ten people.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
That is it ten.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
With all the other stuff going on, we are really
blacking down on the amount of people that we're going
to be bringing into the program. And so if this
is something that's for you, definitely jump on the waitlist again.
Check out the links in our show notes, check out
the links in our bio, and on our website you

(42:55):
will find the sign up for the waitlist, and I
hope to see there all right, Brittany. So if hopefully
everyone's still with us, whether you're taking notes or not,
you can always go back and listen to this. But
I think it's really again, it's helpful to think about
as you're learning about the enneagram, all of the different

(43:15):
nuances and not that there's one specific way, that textbook
way that somebody looks if they're a particular type. But
hopefully some of the things that we're talking about are
resonating with you. Yeah, I definitely don't do that, or
yeah that sounds like me. I love talking about the
head try because I just think they're fascinating, So I'll

(43:37):
allow you to. I'll kick it back to you and
let you talk about all of our head our thinking,
the banking centers.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yep, yeah, yeah, so yeah, head types or thinking types,
those are going to be types five, six, and seven.
So they're all taking in the world through their thinking.
They're going to be very analytical based, not driven by
their emotions, not driven by what needs to happen. It's
what what do we need to think about? What do

(44:05):
we need to research and analyze and come to the
proper conclusion before just taking action For most of the types.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
You da exactly, because there's one of the types in
particular that I'm just like, they don't but I know
what you're saying, so I'll.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
It gets confusing. Yeah, they all think a lot, but
they all think in different ways or at different things.
Type five. That's actually my husband, he's a five.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
I was going to ask what your husband was, Okay, yes,
all right, yeah, he is a five.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
So they're motivated by wanting to be capable, incompetent, knowledgeable,
They want to be able to handle what's coming at them.
The flip side of that is the short sided answer.
We they don't want to be incapable or incompetent. But
that's not a nut. You need to go deeper because
they don't want to be incompetent because they fear they

(44:57):
will be overwhelmed their energy, you'll be depleted. They just
won't have when it takes invaded by other things, especially
if it's emotional things. They don't want to feel that
overwhelmed or the discomfort of that overwhelm. And so that's
the deeper core motivation. I think if you don't get
that deep, a lot of times everybody's I don't want

(45:19):
to be incompetent.

Speaker 4 (45:20):
Well, I think we could think about anything.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
Most of the types of the twos are a helper
who doesn't want to be a helper, like everyone wants
to be a helper. But I see what I understand
what you're saying. I wonder if you see this with
your husband. But I in my experience, I've seen a
lot of fives procrastinate, specifically when it comes to decluttering,
because they have to have knowledge, right, they have to
gather information that there and again fears another clar pitfall.

Speaker 4 (45:46):
But I'm going to but they get fearful that if
I make a decision.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Now, I'm not gonna have all the facts like you
and the dentist, right, you don't want to make that mistake,
and the procrastination isn't there's something more fun I'd rather red,
which is potentially another type, but they are more about
I'm going to procrastinate on this because I don't eat,
I don't have all by ducks in a row, I

(46:10):
don't have all the knowledge yet to make an educated decision.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
Yeah, that is definitely an aspect. It's funny because my husband,
he's very minimal like me, so we don't have a
lot of clutter, but he will procrastinate on taking action,
which is way deeper under the iceberg. Is why they
delay taking action. But like you said, it's because they
want to have researched it enough first, or they want

(46:39):
to be fully capable or competent in that area before
they go start taking action, because if they aren't and
they start taking action too early, they're going to get
hit with being overwhelmed by how much they didn't know now,
or they weren't prepared and now they are being invaded
by people's emotional problems and opinion than what they're doing,

(47:01):
or stuff like that it's like my husband. Honestly, I
still don't understand why, but he for months, I want
to get calendar set up so that I stop missing
and double booking myself and missing meetings and stuff like
THATM like, okay, like just put it on ACCOUNTD like
it takes two seconds to build.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Like I'm like, that's like the Google calendar and have
all the kids' activities on it.

Speaker 4 (47:25):
That complicated, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
He but he put it off forever, and I think
it was just I don't think he needed more research
about it. He knew he was probably gonna he was
Google calendar because that's what we all used, but he
didn't want to be overwhelmed by how much it was
going to deplete him because his brain's working all the time,
so one more thing to do. He didn't have the
energy level for that, which is the great thing about

(47:49):
the enneagram and being me and him are married to
each other. And I was like, well, just let me
do it, And so I built his calendar because I
couldn't handle the talking about it anymore, and he wanted it.
So we just paired it together and I was able
to get that going. But that's very much is a
five will procrastinate because they want to keep preparing. And

(48:10):
the growth point here for them is realizing that how
much you have right now is quite possibly enough knowledge
and you're capable enough to already start taking action. They
tend to over prepare over research usually.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
I love that. Okay, let's talk about the sixes.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yes, sixes. I feel like the whole time I was
describing five's prepare kept coming out. And that's a very
six words. Sixes want to research and prepare and do
all that, but because they want security, they want supporting
guidance from their people, so they will be the people
who ask questions from all their friends before making a

(48:52):
decision because they fear being without security or without the
support of their group. And now I will add that
sixes have this weird, big spectrum. They will either be
quite fearful of whatever's coming in them and so they
will hold off on everything because they're afraid. But then
you have the other spectrum where they're still afraid, but

(49:15):
it's more I'm afraid of skydiving, so I'm gonna do
it to prove myself I'm not scared. And so they're
like they're the exact opposite and you're like, you'll look
more like an eight. You have no fear, and they're like, no,
I'm actually when they dig deep enough, and it takes
a long time, I think for those types of sixes
to find out that their actual core fear is fear itself,
because it's so buried under there. I'm just gonna prove

(49:37):
I'm not afraid, and so it's there, but it's massed
in a very different way than is stereotypically described as
a six. And so for a six, usually they're gonna
procrastinate one because they are so caught up in all
the what ifs. What if I clear the closet and
I needed that one item in two years from now.

(50:00):
What if I clean the closet, but then I don't
have enough boxes to put everything in and organize things.
What if I cancel disappointment because I need to do this,
But then that person they're going through all these what ifs,
and so it just stops them from taking action because
they're trying to work through all of the what if Unfortunately,
I think what ifs are always going to be there.

(50:21):
You're never going to reach the end of your what
if and so sometimes we just have to take action
despite all the what ifs. I you still can make
a very educated guess and be prepared, but you also
got to realize action does need to happen eventually. Yeah,
and so that they get distracted or they start listening
to too many voices, right, they want to pull all

(50:41):
the people. But if you've got seven friends telling you
seven different things, you're never going.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
To tention Yeah, it's yeah, trusting in yourself.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
And again it's and that's the beauty of looking at
all of the different coltor pitfalls as we work through
this series, is that there's a lot of overlhem right,
that whole what if that's full that reassurance. I find
like a lot of times my six clients, they really
they know what they need to do and they're making
the decision, but they want that reassurance. They just want

(51:10):
me there to say whether it's like giving them permission, Yeah,
it's okay to get rid of that, or they just
need to talk it through with somebody because they don't
not necessarily trusting in themselves.

Speaker 4 (51:22):
Yes, and so sometimes.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
It is they they're not as quick to make that
decision as say an eight or maybe a three or whatever,
because they are in their heads, literally in their heads
thinking about all the different things, and then I guess
we'll round everything out with the sevens.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Yeah, it feels weird to end the numbers with seven.
My brain is not okay with this. But type sevens
want to be satisfied or content, and then they fear
being deprived of things because if you're deprived, you're not
going to be satisfied or content or trapped in pain

(52:05):
and that it can be physical pain, but a lot
of times it's emotional pain. They don't want to deal
with the negatives of life, and I think that's their
big area of procrastination with especially clutter, because who wants
to organize a closet when you could go hiking. That's
trapping yourself in pain, And especially for a seven, they

(52:28):
fear it might not never end, which I think with
the physical stuff, I think we can all see an
end insight, there's an end to your closet. But with
emotional stuff, they don't know where the end is, and
so they'll fear they'll put off processing grief or whatever
because they don't know if there's an end to their grief.

(52:48):
They feel like they're going to be stuck in that
forever and they want to be happy and content, but
so they'll put off doing the hard things. And I
feel like a lot of sevens I talk to who
So if that come out on the other side of
things that they've gone through the journey once or twice,
they realize that they have to tell themselves, I'm not
gonna be stuck. I do need to go through this,

(53:10):
but there is an end. And I think even sometimes
even if there's not an end Reef for example, it's
a very long process, but that doesn't mean they have
to jump in and live there for the next two years.
They can jump in and then they can put a
pause on it. I don't think you can really fully
pause grief. But they don't have to stay there. They

(53:31):
can commit, like you said, carve out five minutes to
do the closet and then let the timer ring and
then go do something fun. They don't have to commit
to doing one day of organizing the garage. They can
do five minutes and then move on. And it's one
of those things that you're not causing yourself to suffer
by dealing with these hard things. You can choose to

(53:54):
do it for a said amount of time and then
go do the things you love. It doesn't have to
be one or the other.

Speaker 4 (54:02):
Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
And to me, I always think the word freedom comes
to my mind when I think of Sevens, just if
I were to try to think. I know their official
name is like the Enthusiast, but I think of freedom.
They want that freedom. They don't like to be tied.
They want that flexibility. Again, there are a lot of
time and I'm stereotyping, so this is not every seven
but they're like the Fomo people.

Speaker 4 (54:22):
They're like they have all.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
This fear of missing out or they get excited and
they want to try. Oh, we have the opportunity to go,
like you said, we could go hiking, we could go
X throwing. Why would I want to stay in and
clean my closet when I could go do something? But
which totally I understand. But I think for me, where
I've had success with the Sevens who are my clients,

(54:46):
is really getting them to the point of belief that
by removing the physical clutter, that's giving them freedom, by
making space, by saying I'm.

Speaker 4 (54:57):
Going to I'm not going to just procrastinate. I see
this a lot, especially in the.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Summer with vacations where people are constantly away, and then
your house becomes like a drop zone because you're coming
in and it's like, oh, I was at the beach
this week, or I was here and now I'm going
to the mountains, or I'm going to my friends like house,
or which is all great, and I'm not saying that
you should sit there and clean your house twenty four
to seven.

Speaker 4 (55:19):
But what happens is after.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
Multiple weeks or we being gone every single weekend, and
then you come back and you're like, oh my god,
my house is a disaster.

Speaker 4 (55:29):
No kidding, it's just.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
Been it's been on pause, unless, of course, you're in
a position that you have people that are making sure
the machine runs when you're not there.

Speaker 4 (55:38):
But for a lot of us that it's oh, the
laundry is.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
Piling up, Oh the bills are oh there is the house?

Speaker 4 (55:45):
Does it to be dusted? Or we do have to
do all of these things.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
We have to go grocery shopping, all those boring but
those things that keep our homes and our lives running.

Speaker 4 (55:56):
And so how can we incorporate and make it a both?

Speaker 3 (55:58):
And I think for Evans, it's letting them believe that
it's not in either or That's what I find, because
I think there's this fear that I see from them
that it's got to be like I'm giving up if
I do this, that I'm sacrificing something else, sacrificing my fun.

Speaker 4 (56:15):
My happiness. And I don't think it's be that way.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Yeah, very much. And even you mentioned fomo, but calendar
clutter is a thing for seven. Not so much that
they're doing all the things, but they're saying yes to
all the things, and they are keeping themselves too busy
to clean their house or something. But even just that,
saying yes to five parties when you actually literally can
only attend one, you're cluttering your brain with all the yeses.

(56:40):
Not to mention you're giving a bunch of people false hope,
but that you actually gain freedom by only committing to one,
because then you can fully be present at that one
event instead of mentally being at five, or mentally being
at five for the week before, instead of just committing
to the one. You actually gain freedom by committing a it.

Speaker 4 (57:04):
Yeah, No, I love that. I love that.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
So now that we've walked through, and again, I know
there's a lot there, and there is definitely overlap. I'm
wondering if there's any like, regardless of your type, just
any general thoughts that you have with regard to procrastination
in life and how it relates to.

Speaker 4 (57:29):
Like I said, any of the anagram types.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
Yeah, so sorry. Something I was discussing with a client
the other day was knowing your why, which I think is.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Letter one on one.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
Everybody should know their why, but I think, especially for
a lot of the types, or all of the types,
just in different ways, you need to know your why
so that you still have a reason for doing what
needs to be done even when you don't feel like it,
or you fear it might go wrong, or you fear
you're not going to be stung enough to complete it,

(58:04):
or you know the wrath of grand suit. You need
to have that why to actually keep you anchored and
keep you moving forward for what you actually need to do,
so you don't get stuck in the feeling or the
thinking or your instincts that are like running rounded on
what you think is going to happen.

Speaker 4 (58:23):
I love that. That's great, it would be a great
place to pause.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
But I have one more question that I've been really
dying to ask, because it's more about you as an
enneagram one and a mother of five. So one of
the things that I've seen is with a lot of ones,
because they are have that inner critic. They are perfections
by nature. They want things done right and they know

(58:47):
that they can do that. Is I see them struggling
with delegation of things even and I'm talking about like
everyday routine things making the bed, loading the dishwasher, on,
learning the dishwasher, helping with dinner. One of my closest
dearest friends in the world is a one. And when
I was first like learning the anagram and connecting the dots,

(59:09):
she was like, my guinea pig, of does this land
with you? And she was like, oh my god, you're
reading my mail kind of thing, because I was. And
so I know for her a lot of the calendar
clutter and a lot of the stuff that she takes
on is somewhat self imposed, right because she's I have
now raised two children that don't know how to make
a bed or do basic life skills because I had

(59:32):
to control that so it was done right. So I'm
wondering you, how do you navigate that in your life
in your family?

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Poorly? As a one, I did it very poorly. Like
you said, I have a hard time delegating even the
smallest thing. So like my kids do not do the best.
I can get them to put their dishes in the
sink with some water, so they're I'm drying crusty, but
I don't. I've taught them like we homeschool, so my kids.
Actually I'll go through home met class where I do

(01:00:03):
properly teach them, but then I don't have them do
the dishes because I know if I do, I'm going
to spend an extra five minutes that I could have
done originally reorganizing the dishwasher or movie searching for the
spatula that should have been here but they stuck it
over here. I would rather just do it the first time,

(01:00:26):
even if it potentially in the very long run would
save me time. Eventually my kids would know exactly where
the dishes go and everything. But I don't want to
suffer that slow, painful of everything not in the right
place in the meantime. So it's something I'm working on.

Speaker 4 (01:00:43):
That's an area of growth. That's an area of growth. Forty.

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
And I appreciate you much and I appreciate.

Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
Your honesty on that and it really is, because it's
not an easy thing for a lot of people to admit,
and that is that's one of the one of the
biggest areas when it comes to clutter organization, especially in
a family unit, that I see that division of labor.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Yeah, and it's gotten better through the years. And so
like when the kids are really little, I did absolutely everything.
I cleaned the house fully perfectly, and it was a
weekly thing, like the whole house got top to bottom cleaned.
I did all the laundry, I did all the everything.
And as they've gotten older and I've gotten more responsibilities

(01:01:29):
or different responsibilities piled on, I've learned by necessity to
let some things go. So I still put the laundry
in the washer and the dryer, but then it comes
out into a big basket and the kids have to
fold in put it away because I don't I hate
folding laundry anyways, But they are old enough to put
it in their drawers. Their drawers like a mess. And

(01:01:50):
my boys might not even inside right side out their
shirts before they go in their drawer. But they're clean
and they're in drawers and I don't have to see them,
and that I think is one of those growth things
for at least me is a one. Is that's a
big growth.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Thing for a lot of people, because that is a
time consuming thing and the amount of laundry with five
kids is a lot. All right, we're going to I
could talk to you for hours, but I know this
is a long episode that we've got, but there was
so much content to cover, and I think you did
a great job walking us through each of the different

(01:02:25):
types and explaining like where and why they struggle. If
people want to learn more about you the work that
you do, can you just let them know what the
best place to connect up And obviously we'll put links
in our show notes before we take our last break.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
I'm honestly most active on pretty much just Instagram. I
have all my social media's are at any gram Explained.
Instagram is the one that I'm always on, so it's
very easy to contact me through there, and then my
website is any gram explained dot com, and that's what
I do on Instagram, get put onto the website, so
there's more of a permanent, long format, saveable resource for

(01:03:04):
everybody to find Anyagram info without having to dredge through
all the books or go to all the workshop.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
Absolutely, I love it, and of course again we will
link to all things Brittany her Socials website, everything in
our show notes and on our podcast page. So if
you're out and about, don't worry about not writing it
down because we've got you covered all right. We're going
to take our last break and then we'll be back
for our hot mess minute and just putting you in

(01:03:33):
the hot seat for one last time, So sit tight.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
Hey, guys.

Speaker 3 (01:03:37):
A lot of people have been asking to learn more
about the Anagraham and clutter and whether or not our
framework is for them. If you're interested in learning about
how different personality types see the world, our any Graham
and Clutter online workshop might be just what you need.
As you all know, clutter and just organization is one
of the leading causes of conflict within households, largely in
part because the threshold for clutter varies from person of

(01:04:00):
Some people get stressed out while other people are what
I call clutter blind. This framework will help you understand yourself,
your family members, and, if you're a professional organizer, your.

Speaker 4 (01:04:11):
Clients in a whole new light.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
The insight that I've gained from applying these strategies isn't limited.

Speaker 4 (01:04:16):
To just clutter. It's become a tool that I've used.

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
To improve communication with the people that I do life with,
both personally and professionally. To learn more, visit simply be
organized dot com backslash anagram dash clutter. That's simply be
organized dot com slash anagram dash clutter, and use code
anagram tend to get started today. All right, Brittany, this

(01:04:42):
has been a really helpful and insightful conversation. And like
I said at the top of the episode, selfishly, I
love talking to other people who are well versed in
this because it gives me other language to use, and
I think it's just always helpful to hear from other
practitioners all of these things.

Speaker 4 (01:05:01):
So thank you, thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
I always like to ask our guests a couple of
wrap up questions because we are all about honesty and
authenticity as well as inspiration. So I don't know if
you're a reader or how much time you have to
read with your busy household, but if is there a
book and it could be an anagram book, it doesn't
have to be an anagram book that has either been

(01:05:23):
like transformational in your life or something that you like
refer to other You're like, oh, this is a must
read two friends.

Speaker 4 (01:05:30):
It could be something old, something new, whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
Yeah, you're right. I don't have a lot of time
to read, and so reading for fun has been like
not non existent. I think I always have an any
Gram book that I refer.

Speaker 4 (01:05:47):
What's your go to anagram book?

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
Yeah, so my go to is usually the Complete Anagram
by Beatrice Chestnut.

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
And you're anagram book I never read recent.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
It's really thick, but that means you're getting more than
just the fly by overview, which is why I like it.
And so that's probably in terms of any Gram books made.
It brings very high and the most impact of my life,
just because it really helps me make sense of my motivations,
but also the nuances of how I go through it,

(01:06:21):
because you can have a room full of type ones
and they're not all actually going to look exactly the
same because of certain different aspects of the enneagram, and
so that book walks through it with eye opening because
I'm not as guilt written as the stereotypical one, and
so there was a little bit of a disconnect there.
Why wasn't I guilt written like the other ones? And
that book helps walk through it, which was very helpful.

Speaker 4 (01:06:44):
Awesome, thank you for that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
And then, of course our last two questions did we
ask every guest in every episode, which is in this
particular season of your life with kids ranging from eight
to seventeen, But where do you feel the most organized
in your life? And where do you feel like a
little bit of a hot mess?

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
Okay, I actually feel most organized in my work, but
that can be like my enneagram work, the homeschool work.
School starts in a month, so I've got the whole
year is already planned out, and I have all my
books and everything my school work because I'm trying to
finish up a degree on top of everything. I told
you I was a little bit three ish. I've got
all the base. But that's very organized. I've got it structured,

(01:07:25):
I stick to it. I get ahead on the essays
and stuff I have the right because if I don't,
I won't have base for what life throws me. So
that part's very organized. I think the hot mess, though,
I think is relationship based, not that all of my
relationships are a hot mess, but putting in the effort

(01:07:49):
to develop deeper relationships. We just moved a year ago,
and I had a few past relationships scar me from
trying to restart new friendships because now I'm afraid of
what did they go wrong? Too. It's very much I'm
procrastinating on developing re relationships, and so that's a little

(01:08:11):
bit of a hot mess. Some of it. I'm trying
to either justify or give myself grace by telling myself
that I'm also still recovering. We're also still new again,
like it's only been a year. But at the same time,
I also know that's an area where I am dragging
my feet. There's a good and a bad that's coming
with dragging my feet and letting it be messy because

(01:08:32):
I'm afraid of navigating it again and not being perfect. Yeah,
messing up once again.

Speaker 4 (01:08:39):
Yeah, thank you for that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
And I wish that you were we were close by
because I'd be like, come on over, I'll be your friend.
Book out, Britty. It's been such a pleasure chatting with you.
Thank you so much for coming on our show sharing
all of your wisdom and insight. This is just the
tip of the iceberg people with this series. Next week
we're gonna be talking about another clutter pitfall, which is

(01:09:02):
indecision that what do I do? And so again, these
are all intertwined, but they are different ways and reasons
why people result, why clutter results, and when we can
really peel it back and start to understand it, that's
the best way through it. And so definitely, if you
enjoyed this episode, make sure that you tune in for

(01:09:25):
next week.

Speaker 4 (01:09:25):
If you're new here, click the subscribe, follow button.

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
YouTube, wherever, podcasts, whatever, all the things, and if you
like this episode, feel free to stop us a review.

Speaker 4 (01:09:35):
We appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
And I know other listeners do appreciate that, so that
they know our show is worth to listen. And then
the other final housekeeping that I forgot to mention at
the top of the episode is we have a webinar
coming up, and the sign up is on our website
if you just go simply be Organized dot com.

Speaker 4 (01:09:54):
I'll also include it in the show notes.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
And it's geared more for people who are either professional
organiz or are thinking about starting a professional organizing business,
and it's going to be talking about how you can
build a business, how can I make money doing this,
how can I turn something that I feel like I'm
passionate about I'm interested in how can I actually monetize this,
whether it's finding clients or doing speaking or starting a

(01:10:18):
podcast or whatever. So if you are interested in this,
it's totally free. I do them like once a year,
these webinars for people, but it is limited, so make
sure that you go ahead and register for that. And
if you can't make the live that I think it's
September twentieth is when the actual event is, And if
you can't make the live one, there will be a replay,

(01:10:38):
so make sure that you just check check that out
in the show notes to register for that. If that's
something that you're interested in until next week, then I'm
Lorid Flout peace out.

Speaker 4 (01:10:49):
Thanks for tuning in.

Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
If you'd like this episode, please spread the love and
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(01:11:11):
you can head on over to our website at simply
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Speaker 4 (01:11:22):
Partners, and all of our digital offerings.

Speaker 3 (01:11:25):
I'll see you next week for another episode of this
organized Life.