Trader Hoes
Two Hoes dishing out weekly reviews of Trader Joe's products. New episodes every Monday!
Episodes
Well, Hoes, here we are. The final-ish episode of Trader Hoes. But before we embark on our bye-atus, we took a stumble down memory lane, aided by a few drinks recommended by you and a possible Penis Truck sighting.
Thank you, Hoes, for the recommendations, the messages, the support, and just for sticking with us through the years. We couldn’t have done any of this without you.
Until next time, #BBPP365.
🛒 In the cart:
- Añejo Te...
It's our second to last episode, which means there's just enough time to squeeze in a special guest appearance from the Trader Bros (aka our partners)! It's a Hot Ones inspired showcase of Trader Joe's spicy sauces so get ready feel the (heart)burn.
In the cart:
Incredisauce
Tamarind Sauce
Green Dragon Hot Sauce
Peri Peri Sauce
Chili Pepper Sauce
Jalapeño Hot Sauce
Habañe...
This week, we’re leaving it all on the table, including grandma. We tackle our InstaHoes’ savory suggestions, repay them by completely butchering their names, and walk away with a few new favorites. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Shrinky Dinks, a Trader Joe’s and Jack in the Box mashup, noods, and Katie’s love of uncooked rolled oats.
🛒 In the cart:
- Cheeseburger burrito
- Cascatelli Pasta
- Italian Style Meatballs
- Ro...
It is with heavy hearts and full carts that we announce the end of Trader Hoes will be coming at the end of this month. It probably won’t be goodbye for forever, but it is ciao for now.
We thank every one of you for tuning in each Monday and celebrating the best grocery store that ever existed with us. It’s been in incredible ride, and we’re honored you were a part of it.
But we’re not done just yet! Another thank you to everyone w...
Get your bifocals ready, Hoes. We're about to read our favorite but flawed grocery store like never before. While we may not be at RuPaul's Drag Race level, we do dig into everything from recalls to copywriting to commitment-phobia. Because after all, we've spent years supporting Trader Joe's, so a little tough love is in order.
Trader Joes's is bringing the heat and these Hoes are here for it. From a savory salsa to buffalo style almonds, Katie and Evie explore TJ's newest spicy items. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: extreme squeams, saguaro cacti, and is buffalo having a moment?
In the cart:
Buffalo Style Seasoned Almonds
Guajillo Salsa
Cinna-Dragons
The Trader Hoes put Trader Joe’s new pizza halloumi to the test and try the old Amsterdam gouda that has Bon Appetite writer, Alex Beggs talking. Get ready for a dairy fueled basket case that begs the question, why?
In the basket:
Pizza Bread Cheese
Old Amsterdam Premium Aged Gouda
If you’re into hugs, this episode is for you! If you’re not into hugs but are into chocolate and nut butters, this episode is also for you! If you’re not into hugs and don’t like chocolate or nut butters, well… we got nothing, but we still think you should listen. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: sleep deprivation, the beauty of marshmallow fluff, Evie’s noisy house, and Katie’s still-present hearing.
In the cart:
- Ba...
We love finding another person as obsessed with Trader Joe's as we are. So, we were thrilled when we stumbled upon Bon Appetit's Food People episode, "Why are people so obsessed with Trader Joe's?" Though we may not have agreed with all of her superlatives, we definitely want to be Alex Beggs' best friend. After all, friends don't let friends sleep on Unexpected Cheddar.
Forget assorted chocolates, all the Hoes want this Valentine's Day is cheese. (Fortunately for them, Trader Joe's love language is dairy.) From the heart shaped to the meat forward, get ready for romance with a rind. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Pride and Prejudice, Lunchables and the plot holes of many (all?) rom coms.
In the cart:
- Neufchâtel
- Bacon Cheddar
- Spicy Buffalo Cheddar
We’re rounding out this month with 360 degrees of flavor as we try some new and classic circular (breakfast?) foods from Trader Joe’s. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Wendy’s non-OCD-friendly food, Evie’s need for a blender, and Katie’s lost pineapple.
🛒 In the cart:
- Egg Frittata
- Cauliflower Pancakes
- Potato Pancakes
- Corn and Cheese Arepas
The Hoes dig into some juicy Trader Joe's stories and uncover a conspiracy, crossbow and some stolen TJ's wine. Buckle up with some Two Buck Chuck and get ready for some ridiculous grocery chain fodder.
Excuse our diacope as we dive into some new Trader Joe’s items to help kick off the new year. We’ve got apps, mains, and desserts covered here, and nothing goes the way we think it will. Not on the menu but definitely on our minds: The likelihood we’d be in a cult, Canadian bacon’s fashion, Trader Joe’s tours, and how you pronounce “pen” and “pin.” Seriously, we need to know.
🛒 In the cart:
- Kalua Pork Spring Rolls
- French O...
Stop what you're doing. Drop everything. Yep, don't even start the new episode. And go get your hands on some of these Cacio e Pepe Puffs from Trader Joe's. We'll wait.
And while we're waiting, we'll keep thinking of which other items Joe should expand like the Fast and Furious franchise. Maybe Katie will keep practicing her pronunciation of "cacio e pepe" too.
What do you...
It’s 2022, y’all! And the Hoes are hoping for a low stakes, high-cal kind of year. We’re talking slow news days and savory Trader Joe’s items, including this selection of heat-and-eat vegan entrees. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: storefront petitions, the Irish and Katie’s love of any and all things mac and cheese.
In the cart:
Vegan Mac
Vegan Shepherd’s Pie
Vegan Enchilada Casserole
What a year, what a shopping list! The Hoes reap the 2021 hits, misses and musings of the past year. More pickle products? Yes, please! A return of key lime popcorn? Dear god, NO. It's basket case episode chockfull of reflection – and yeah, okay, some wine too.
Want to share your Trader Joe's 2021 highlights and 2022 predictions? Message us at realtraderhoes on Instagram and Gmail, or reach out at realtraderhoes...
Simply put: This is a dystopian Christmas dinner. We’ve got guest co-ho Brian (aka Evie’s husband now!) sharing in a low-effort, only-slightly-sad holiday feast courtesy of Trader Joe. Not every dish is a gift, but at least one cheesy pick could be considered the reason for the season. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: TJ’s floor wine, why side dishes are the real star of the holidays, and the tragedy of the Star Wars Hol...
On this week’s Basket Case, we’re counting down the reasons that advent calendars should be available all year round. We also unpack the Hallmark movie and Disney fan Venn diagram, why Joe tries to fit his name in everything, and how we want PMS advent calendars.
We’re harkening back to our youths and somehow also getting a glimpse at our futures this week. Yep, we’re going up on a Tuesday with some Trader Joe’s liqueurs. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: what the heck fashion is these days, holiday shopping woes, and whether licking a fireplace is a good or bad thing.
🛒 In the cart:
- Kentucky Straight Bourbon Cream
- Golden Vale Irish Cream Liqueur
- Cold Brew Coffee & C...
The Hoes turn to Trader Joes for some culinary inspiration. From the somewhat promising to the slightly unsettling, it's a basket case breakdown of Trader Joe's newest recipes. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Evie's cat face, Katie's popped grapes and one-and-done salsa cooking.
*EDITORS NOTE*
The Trader Bros will be popping into the background on this one, hoes. We tried the best we ...
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