Untoxicated Podcast
Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a regular life–regular marriage, regular careers, a regular house, and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism and emotional abuse. Unfortunately, their experience is quite regular. Sheri and Matt talk to other experts, to roundtable panels, and to each other. No subjects are off limits: The trauma of active addiction, the pain of recovery, the impact of emotional abuse, the “should I stay or should I go” question, breaking the cycles for the kids, and both emotional and physical intimacy. Matt Salis is a behavioral health writer and researcher with over a decade of experience studying addiction and emotional abuse, and a master’s degree in sexual health. He is a leading expert on the impact of addiction and emotional abuse on intimacy in committed partnerships. Sheri Salis is the hero of their story, and the star of the Untoxicated Podcast. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
Episodes
What is the connection between addiction and never truly feeling content? We talk a lot about underlying issues for alcoholism – things like childhood trauma and financial stress. But what about when we chase external fulfillment because we are incapable of internal fulfillment? We pursue chaos because we are not comfortable being content. And what is it like to be in a relationship with someone who never feels contentment?
What is it like to feel safe to speak your mind and explore your emotions? No fear of reaction. No one telling you what to do. Listen to Jen, Nikki, Mike, Tara, Jennifer, and Avia explain the value they find in growing and recovering in a no-judgement zone on this roundtable discussion live from the Echoes of Recovery 2026 summer retreat in the Colorado Rocky Mountains.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better underst...
What is sober living, anyway? If an alcoholic has completed detox and treatment, why do they need a sober living environment? Matt used to think sober living was a sign of weakness, and Sheri thought it was a place where they used nicotine as a wall covering. But once they met Kyle, Rebecca, and Nathan, this episode’s panelists, Sheri and Matt learned the incredible value of sober living for former drinkers and partners. Clic...
Leading experts in alcoholism recovery promote that the partner and other family members of the drinker play a role in the drinker’s sobriety. Sheri and Matt disagree. What do you think?
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t real...
Overstaying at the party, making grandiose plans, saying stupid stuff, passing out in public, missing all the social cues: Sheri and Matt talk about his behavior in his intoxicated summers, and how it impacted her and their kids. If you hear examples that feel familiar, please know that it is not OK and you are not alone.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse ...
Emotional safety is critically important to both relationship recovery, and also individual growth and discovery. We are triggered to soothe when we don’t feel safe, and authentic connection is impossible without safety. Sheri and Matt suggest the things that help them feel more individually safe, and mourn connections lost.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotion...
Matt understands that his drinking and past emotionally unsafe behavior created for Sheri triggers and traumas. Reaching that understanding was a slow evolution through years of curiosity and growth for them both. On this episode, the couple talks about progressing from, “I got sober for you. What more do you want from me?” through all the stages of awakening and awareness. They also talk about when Sheri would have sol...
When asked about the impact on a relationship when an intoxicated partner begs for or demands sex, and the coercion works because the drinker’s partner is trying to keep the peace, Amanda Dames tells Sheri and Matt that the dynamic damages trust. And the partner who agrees to unwanted sex is using her body to find or maintain safety. Amanda Dames is a sexologist, a somatic certified sex and relationship coach, and the host of...
Sheri and Matt have covered the ways emotional safety improves relationship dynamic for the person on the receiving end: nervous system regulation, peace and relaxation, and comfort being authentic and vulnerable. In this episode, they consider the benefits for the person providing the emotional safety. Don’t do it just for her. Do it for yourself, too.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the imp...
This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: “Requisite”
That’s a picture of my bride from the summer we got married. Isn’t she cute? It’s a digital capture of a real photo taken with a camera that doesn’t make or ...
Jane is an Echoes of Recovery OG who taught us to call our growth and healing work, “Discovery,” because there is no going back. After six years of podcast appearances, Jane enlightens Sheri and Matt, once again, revealing the connection between working to physically strengthen and heal the body, and working to ease the pain of trauma and loss. What she is doing in the physical health industry is truly revolutionary, bu...
This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: “Exorcising the ‘F’ Word”
“You don’t need to come. I’m not dying.”
My mom had surgery last week, and that’s what she said when she heard I was flying a...
When it comes to parenting, there is no shortage of generational trauma cycle breaking to be addressed. Sheri and Matt talk about the two-generation cycle breaking they are working on with their kids, to implement 100% emotional safety after years of alcoholism, emotional abuse, and Matt’s mindset that it was his job to make his kids tough and resilient. They also talk about cats and Hawaiian shirts and grad parties.
This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: “Humans. Am I Right?”
Humans.
We humans do some really strange things. Am I right?…
If you are ready to consider the impact of alcohol and a lack of emotional safety, on you and your fam...
Lara Hammock is back for another quarterly segment full of probing questions and thoughtful, helpful, well illustrated advice! Lara is a mental health therapist and the host and producer of The Illustrating Therapist YouTube Channel. She shares her all-time best piece of marriage advice, dispels the myth of a bunch of gaslighting evil geniuses, brings comfort to the idea of overfunctioning, and provides a great visual for comm...
This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: “This Is Why She Doesn’t Trust You”
Serving as the facilitator for our Echoes of Recovery group has been the single greatest learning experience of my life. Below are the most important lesson...
It is not the compliment you think it is when you tell the partner of a heavy drinker how strong she is. And when you tell her that you’ll help more if she makes you a list, you’ve just asked her to do something else for you. Sheri and Matt discuss this while arguing about flag and snowman stamps, and while analyzing the best way to clean a gorilla cage.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand ...
Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “Never Quite Measuring Up”
I did the math in my head. If the sales revenue generated on the opening day of our fourth location remained even sort-of consistent, we would be good–finally over the hump to financial security. We started with one whole grain bread bakery in 2004, and four years later, we had added three locations, and I thought we had reached our goal. ...
On Untoxicated Podcast Ep206, Kim Augustus thought her family had made it out of alcoholism and into solid recovery. In this next chapter, Kim’s second appearance on the podcast, she explains how her husband’s relapse has led to divorce. Kim’s boundaries, detachment, and commitment to providing a safe environment for her kids are guiding her into a new life after addiction.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org&...
Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “Big Birthday Revolution”
My dad’s birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t send him a card. I called him on his birthday, but I got his voicemail, so I left a message. We didn’t talk until the next weekend. By then, it just felt like it had been too long to re-wish him a happy birthday, so I didn’t. He reads my blog, so Dad, happy birthday. Th...
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