Untoxicated Podcast
Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a normal life – normal marriage, normal careers, a normal house and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism. While their experience sounds rare, with over 15 millions problem drinkers in America, their alcoholic marriage was all too normal. Matt has been writing about their experiences in alcoholism and recovery for years. On the Untoxicated Podcast, Sheri and Matt talk about it, too. No subjects are off limits as the couple discusses the trauma of active addiction, the pain of early recovery, the destruction and rebuilding of trust, and the impact on their intimate relationship. If you love an alcoholic, the disease will terrorize your relationship. We hope you’ll listen and find healing in our shared stories. For more support from Sheri and Matt, check out their Echoes of Recovery program providing connection and healing for the loved ones of alcoholics.
Episodes
September 25, 2023 • 64 mins
No. That's the short version of the title question's answer. An emphatic, "no," in fact. But as with most of the world's hard-to-solve problems, there is much more to the story. On this episode, Sheri and Matt breakdown what happens in a alcoholic relationship breakdown, the roles of the partners, and how the relationship can be repaired.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the co...
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September 18, 2023 • 72 mins
Our six panelist share their experiences and perceptions with a wide variety of alcohol addiction recovery programs. Some common themes emerge, like the healing power of finding your tribe, and that when it comes to recovery programs, there is no one size that fits all. Our roundtable discusses the role of science, the role of spirituality, traditional methods, new ideas, large formats, small groups, free resources and programs tha...
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September 11, 2023 • 67 mins
Sheri and Matt welcome the most special of guests, their daughter, Cathryn, for a return visit to the podcast. This time, instead of working through the heart wrenching experiences of Cathryn's childhood, like they did on Ep200, they talk through all the details about their newest program: The Developing Story Writing Workshop for teens who have been impacted by alcohol abuse in the family. Cathryn shares how writing her story has ...
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September 4, 2023 • 60 mins
Sheri and Matt discuss the personality type that often underlies high-functioning alcoholism. Removing the alcohol doesn't change the personality, and for Matt, and millions of others, the work of recovery is understanding their discomfort with contentment. Confused much? Give this one a listen.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your questio...
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August 28, 2023 • 59 mins
Kim's nervous system, her mental health and her marriage were all suffering from the trauma of addiction. A happy ending seemed woefully unlikely. But with persistence, fortunate timing and openness to consider different alternatives, Kim's husband has found lasting sobriety, and theirs is a story of redemption and hope - a story Kim thrives from telling.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you w...
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August 21, 2023 • 59 mins
Addiction sucks so much of the air from any relationship. Then in early sobriety, recovery work replaces alcohol taking priority over the alcoholic's family. As recovery continues, that third energy intruding on the relationship morphs into replacement addiction and other family issues. Having something there, the third side of the triangle, becomes a compulsive need in and of itself. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about how ...
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August 14, 2023 • 81 mins
It's the story of a romantic courtship and the rekindling of a spark felt when they were in their youth. Bhavini loved him and wanted so badly for it to work that she ignored the red flags that she recognizes only now in hindsight. As she processes her whirlwind experience as the spouse of an alcoholic, she pays tribute to love, learning and a deep thoughtfulness woven through her emotionally moving story.
Sheri and Matt start the...
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August 7, 2023 • 55 mins
Bravery is not just about what you do or say or refuse to tolerate. There is another component. Bravery is also about what you are up against. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss his relentlessness as a tyrannical protector of their family secret, and what bravery was in Sheri's circumstances. Sometimes, often really, survival is a remarkable display of tremendous bravery.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listen...
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July 31, 2023 • 80 mins
Who has the right to tell the story and seek support? When you are involved in an alcoholic marriage, your stories are woven together, and opening up means shame and anger. But it also means relief and healing. How do you find balance? That's the topic that ten very experienced loved ones explore LIVE from our Echoes of Recovery retreat in the Colorado Rocky Mountains.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s que...
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July 24, 2023 • 60 mins
Ep200 was Cathryn's story. Sheri's and Matt's insightful and intelligent daughter shared her experiences of growing up with high-functioning alcoholism, and she revealed things on that episode that shocked Matt and confirmed Sheri's sadness. On this episode, Sheri and Matt react. This is not about defensiveness. This is about the very start of coming to grips with the destruction. Alcohol has no respect for what we want for our chi...
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July 17, 2023 • 97 mins
What better way to honor our bicentennial episode than with the most special guest in the history of the podcast, Sheri's and Matt's daughter. Cathryn describes in painful detail what it is like to grow up in a house with a high-functioning-alcoholic parent. It is amazing how many similarities they discuss between the defense mechanisms of the children and the defense mechanism of the spouses. It is equally eye opening how and why ...
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July 10, 2023 • 57 mins
There are short-term relapses that last a day or a weekend or a week, and there are long-term relapses that last weeks or months. Can you guess which type of relapse Sheri and Matt have come to believe is more dangerous? Like everything else related to addiction and recovery, the answer is counterintuitive (and worth a listen). Also, Matt guesses right. Kelly Miller's awesome new podcast is called The Addiction Nutritionist Podcast...
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July 3, 2023 • 70 mins
She is back with her signature combination of charm, empathy and brutal honesty that many of our listeners recognize from her engaging and informative YouTube channel, Put the Shovel Down. Addiction Counselor Amber Hollingsworth makes a return appearance on the podcast - this time answering questions from lots of our listeners and participants in our Echoes of Recovery group. In addition to her YouTube channel, check out all the re...
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June 26, 2023 • 57 mins
This episode quickly devolves into an hour long therapy session for Matt. He and Sheri talk about judgement, shame and hiding, with a healthy dose of religion and spirituality in reaction to a listener question.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.
If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recover...
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June 19, 2023 • 55 mins
Guilt can be a motivator. Guilt can be a moral compass. Guilt is not all bad. But the guilt that builds and festers in a family that is dealing with alcoholism is anything but helpful. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the distinction, and offer suggestions for how we can manage the overwhelming guilt experienced in an alcoholic partnership.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to a...
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June 12, 2023 • 60 mins
Back home Again in Indiana, and Sheri and Matt were thrust unexpectedly into the deep end of alcohol impact. If you think addiction is required in order for alcohol to leave painful, traumatic memories, give this episode a listen.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.
If you love or loved an alcoholi...
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June 5, 2023 • 63 mins
The bathing suits, blue ocean waves and smiling faces posted to social media don't tell the true story of vacations for families experiencing alcohol addiction or early sobriety. The truth behind the strained smiles is nothing short of trauma. And the anxiety caused by past vacation implosions can haunt the loved ones for years to come. On this episode, Sheri and Matt are thrilled to host a panel of guests who share their alcohol-i...
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May 29, 2023 • 51 mins
Sheri and Matt talk about the individual pieces of recovery all the time: resentment processing, nervous system stabilization, trust building, intimacy, etc. But until now, they have never put the pieces together on a timeline. In this episode, they lay out what might be expected as you move through the stages of recovery from alcoholism - as individuals, and as a couple.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s ...
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May 22, 2023 • 84 mins
Seven women who have made the impossibly difficult choice to move on from alcoholism through divorce talk about the challenges and the triumphs of their own personal recoveries. Some had small children, some had grown children and some had no children at the time of divorce. In come cases, their ex-husbands are now sober. In some cases, their ex-husbands are still drinking. Tragically, one of the ex-husbands lost his life to this d...
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May 15, 2023 • 55 mins
Many of the people finding success in the alcoholism recovery community embrace some form of assigning the blame to the alcohol. And yet, so many people who are trying to recover, both the alcoholics and the loved ones, struggle with this concept. On this episode, Sheri and Matt break it down and try to identify the obstacles that keep people stuck: accountability, envy, fear and anger.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answerin...
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