Episode 310 | Unlocking the Quantum Woman with Shamina Taylor

In this episode of the Wealthy Woman Lawyer® podcast, I chat with Shamina Taylor, an attorney turned wealth expert, bestselling author, and host of the Unapologetically Rich podcast. Shamina has helped over 50 women become millionaires and multimillionaires, and she's on a mission to normalize big money for women everywhere.
 
 Listen in as Shamina and I explore:

·      The pivotal moment that changed everything for her—and how it set her on a mission to redefine wealth for women.

·      The difference between true desire and hustle-driven goals (and why most high achievers have them backwards).

·       Why regulating your nervous system could be the key to unlocking abundance.

·      The hidden connection between unhealed trauma, overachievement, and income ceilings.

·      How tapping into your feminine energy can help you create wealth with ease—and stop running on empty.

·      Practical shifts that can transform your relationship with money, leadership, and your business.
 
Go here to listen:

LINKS TO LOVE:

Learn more about Shamina and her work at shaminataylor.com.

Imagine: scaling your law firm to multiple millions, working less, and enjoying the freedom and flexibility you deserve. It's possible, and I can show you how. For over a decade, I've helped hundreds of women law firm owners achieve this dream with my proven blueprint. Now, you can get your hands on this same blueprint for just $27. But don't wait, this offer won't last forever.

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts!
 

Episode Transcript

Intro (00:01):
Welcome to the wealthy woman lawyer podcast. What
you could hang out withsuccessful women lawyers, ask
them about growing their firms,managing resources like time,
team, and systems, masteringmoney issues, and more? Then
take an insight or two to helpyou build a wealth generating
law firm. Each week, your host,Devina Frederick, takes an

(00:22):
in-depth look at how to thinklike a CEO, attract clients who
you love to serve and will payyou on time, and create a
profitable, sustainable firm youlove. Devina is founder and CEO
of Wealthy Woman Lawyer, and hergoal is to give you the
information you need to scaleyour law firm business from 6 to
7 figures in gross annualrevenue so you can fully fund

(00:43):
and still have time to enjoy thelifestyle of your dreams. Now
here's Devina.

Davina (00:50):
Hello, and welcome to the Wealthy Woman Lawyer
podcast. I'm your host, attorneyDevina Frederick, and my guest
today is Shamina Taylor. Shaminais a renowned wealth expert,
attorney, best selling author,mother of two, and host of a top
rated podcast dedicated tonormalizing big money for women.
She's on a mission to liftincome ceilings, break financial

(01:11):
barriers, and make being wealthythe new standard for women
everywhere. With a proven trackrecord of helping over 51 women
become millionaires andmultimillionaires, Shamina is
passionate about showing what'spossible when women
unapologetically claim theirpower and wealth.
So please join me in welcomingShamina to the Wealthy Woman

(01:33):
Lawyer podcast. Hi, Shamina.It's good to see you. I'm glad
you could be here.

Shamina (01:37):
Hi, Davina. Thank you for having me.

Davina (01:40):
So tell us a little bit about your story and yourself.
You have quite an interestingstory. I've I've read your book,
and, you share it on yourwebsite and in your book. But
I'd love to hear in your ownwords sort of your journey to
doing the work that you do. Whathappened in your life?

Shamina (01:57):
Well, like many people, I who've had a shift in where
they were at, there's thisdefining moment for me that had
a before and after and was verylife changing. And it happened
back in January of twentythirteen. I was on a Yakuta yoga
mat, and I had this moment whereI literally had my life flash
before me. I was getting intothis yoga pose. I've done yoga

(02:18):
three times at Finnishbodybuilding competition, and my
life was you know, everythingseemed to to be okay.
But in this moment, the yogainstructor had said, are you
happy? And at the moment, I wasnot happy because I was trying
to put one leg one way, anotherleg the other way. And I was
trembling, but I was I was ofthe mindset, no pain, no gain.
And as I was pushing throughthis physical pain, she was

(02:39):
like, are you happy? You'reliving the life of your dreams.
And, you know, at that moment, Isaid I forgot who Shamina was.
And I just started crying andbawling. And it was like a wake
up call for me because Irealized in that moment, while I
had checked off all the boxesthat they said success would
look like, in that moment, Irealized that I was still very
much unfulfilled and somethingelse was going on below the

(03:01):
surface. The accolades, theachievements, the material
possessions, all the things thatI had done to that point, it's
still something was stillmissing. And after that up that
moment on the mat where I bawledfor the next forty five minutes,
I had the ugliest cry of mylife.
I went home and spoke to myhusband at the time, and, you
know, we both realized that wewere pretty unhappy in the state

(03:23):
of our marriage. He was, like,my dream partner. Yet we come
into a place where we were kindof just going through the
motions through life. Andanyway, a month later, he moved
out. And then I went on to avery deep journey for three and
a half years of figuring out whoI was and why did I how did my
perfect life get to this place?
And how did this happen? And itwent it went something like,

(03:47):
okay, we have to figure out whoShamina is because I'd forgotten
her. But then also, I had a lotof unresolved trauma that was
beneath the surface, and I hadto really re I had to really go
and find myself again. And itwas such a beautiful experience
because I'm a hustler. Like, youknow what then?
I was. I was someone who couldget anything done. And, you

(04:07):
know, being an attorney andhaving my own law firm, I mean,
there was nothing I I couldn'tdo. However, what I realized was
I was not being who I needed tobe, and that was the that was
the precipice of where I amright now.

Davina (04:19):
Right. Right. So I really wanna set the scene for
this. So you were a lawyer. Youhad your own law firm.
You had two children?

Shamina (04:27):
Yes.

Davina (04:28):
Four were their ages at the time?

Shamina (04:29):
Four and five.

Davina (04:30):
Four and five and been married for how long?

Shamina (04:33):
Fourteen years. Twelve years? Twelve years. Twelve
years. Yeah.
Twelve years.

Davina (04:36):
Fourteen years. Twelve years. Okay. And you had you
were a bodybuilder.

Shamina (04:40):
Uh-huh. I was also competing in figure
competitions. I did triathlons.I was very active and busy doing
things because that's what Idid. I did things.
You know? I was a doer.

Davina (04:51):
And you and you and this yoga, you talk about in the book
how this was actually on TV.This wasn't some random yoga
class. Tell us a little bitabout what what that was what
was happening in the yoga class.

Shamina (05:03):
Well, my girlfriend had joined the bodybuilding
competition with me, and thenthen local news in Chicago here
wanted to do, a segment on howshe had gotten so fit because
she was overweight, and she'dlost a lot of weight. And I
wanted to be on TV too. So I waslike, this is my is my fifteenth
seconds of fame. I get to be onher fifteen minutes. And when I
went into the the yoga class,told told the camera guy, like,

(05:24):
don't pan on me too much.
But really what I was wanted todo was like, hey, look at me. So
everything was filmed. It wasfilmed on this TV segment of me
sitting in the same pose for thenext forty five minutes. And I
think people at first thought Iwas crying, but I was really,
like, just releasing decades anddecades of pent up trauma that I
had had I mean, feeling myemotions wasn't one of the

(05:44):
things that I was taught, norwas it a normal thing for me
because I was so cerebral. I wasvery masculine in my head, and I
wasn't an emotional person.
I was very ice queen y, youknow, at the time. And so for
me, it was just such a releaseto finally let that go. And I I
released decades of things thatI had held on to, and it
literally was the beginning ofthe massive transformation I've

(06:07):
had in my life. And it's been,you know, thirteen years since
that day, and so many thingshave transpired of who I've
become today. And now I helpthousands of women do the same
thing, and it's just beenamazing.

Davina (06:17):
What do you think it was about that particular moment? Do
you think it was the physicalpain and then also you were in a
place you couldn't get up andyou couldn't get up and easily
walk away from that at thatmoment?

Shamina (06:30):
Absolutely. I think it was like I think I had many wake
up calls along the way, but forthat one, I was pinned. I was in
the frog pose, if you wanna knowwhat it is. I I I don't do yoga,
and I've done a I done I didyoga after that a little bit,
but I haven't done it for a longtime. But I didn't know what it
was at the time, and I it was avery advanced move, and we hold
all of our emotions in our hips.
And so it was like I wasphysically putting my psoas

(06:54):
muscles and my hips in a stateto release. But it was so when
you are doing any type ofhealing work, you're not
supposed to go to the you're notsupposed to force it. But my
personality and my mindset atthe time was like, pain, no
gain. So push, push, push. Andso I push, push, push.
And so it was like it was liketick, tick, tick, boom. And so
it was like, alright. I I'm sograteful for that moment because

(07:18):
it forever changed my life. Itwas like someone came down with
a hammer on my head. I'm like,alright.
Time to wake up. Now you'vegotta get real. And I feel like
that physical pain turned toemotional pain, and it just gave
me permission to finally belike, okay. I don't have to hold
the weight of the world or allof this unresolved trauma on my
shoulders anymore. And it justgave me permission to be present

(07:40):
for the first time in my life.
And I I ended up becoming verymasterful at my meditation after
that. Have for eight yearsduring that thirteen year
period. I meditated for an hourevery day. I've gone through
every single healing, you know,modality you can possibly think
of and, you know, really wantingto connect to myself again. And
it was just really powerfulbecause I would have kept doing.

(08:02):
I would have kept myself insurvival state and being a
hustler. But, you know, you getto a point where you hit
exhaustion and where you justcan't take it anymore. And and
I'm really grateful for thatbecause I don't know if I would
be here if I didn't have thatmoment.

Davina (08:15):
Yeah. Yeah. Have lots of questions for you around the,
around desire, which we'll talkto we'll talk about in a minute,
because because on the surface,it it appears like you have
everything that anybody wouldever want. Right? You say that.
You say, I had everything. Youknow? I had the dream husband,
the the kids, the body, thewealth, the business, all of

(08:40):
that. And, but there wassomething more that you wanted
or needed that you reallyweren't even aware of at that at
that point. And I think a lot ofwomen, high achieving women can
really relate relate to that.
So tell me the title of yourbook is Unlock the Quantum
Woman. So tell me what a quantumwoman is.

Shamina (09:02):
We have a definition of her, and I believe that the
quantum woman lives in all ofus. It's just that this woman
who she is wealthy, she'ssuccessful, she's emotionally
mastered, she has emotionalintelligence. She is someone who
gets to have whatever she wants.She is powerful. She's fully
seen.
She's you know, she's notworking very hard for what she
has. She knows how to be, do,and have. You know, there's this

(09:25):
woman who can create wealth. Shecan collapse time. And I feel
like it's just this version ofme that had to come out.
It was the balance of thefeminine, the masculine energy.
And the quantum field andquantum physics is like the
ushering of fastness of time.You know? And there's still a
part of me that wants thingsdone yesterday, but forced

(09:46):
nature and pushing through isnot the way I do it anymore. I
do it through my feminineenergy.
I do it through energetics. I doit through a peaceful, easy way
of making millions of dollars asopposed to working nonstop, nine
to five or sorry. Not nine tofive. Gosh. I was working, like,
12:15.
Yeah. So I had to really correctthat. I was on another podcast

(10:08):
earlier. I was talking aboutthat. So forgive me.
That needs to be edited. But Iwas working nonstop and then
also running a family, going tothe gym, doing challenge like,
the the workouts, you know,competing, still having lots of
friends. It was overload. Andnow I do everything with ease. I
have easy mornings.
I make millions with ease. It'sjust a different way of doing

(10:28):
it. So the quantum woman, sheknows there's another way. I
just didn't know before thatthere was another way. And my
brand and the whole trademarkingand how it came about was that
there's this there's thisquantum woman in all of us.
And how how about we wake her upand she doesn't have to live in
suffering and make money fromhustle anymore? She can make it
from abundance.

Davina (10:47):
Mhmm. Mhmm. And so the reason I, mentioned desire, you
talk about four keys to, anevolution of sort of becoming
this quantum woman, getting intouch with who you really are
and what you truly want andmaking it, you know, and being
able to manifest with ease, forlack of a better word. I think

(11:10):
the word manifest probably getsoverused a lot of times, but but
that being able to, get what wedesire with a lot of ease. But I
wanna specifically dial in onthe first key that you talked
about, which is desire.
Because I think a lot of peoplewould look at your life and go,
she has everything I woulddesire. I want that. Right?

(11:32):
Because you did get all of thatthrough hustle. So what is it
that you felt you desired onthis on this metaphysical sort
of level?
What is it that you felt thatyou desired that was missing
from what you had?

Shamina (11:53):
You mean before or after?

Davina (11:55):
Well, as you went through this process, you said,
you know, I had this. I had thiscareer, this husband, this body,
this life. And then there wassomething when you came to the
point of key number one, whichis desire. There's a desire
there for something more. Andthe desire, I'm I'm guessing, is
probably ease in getting that.

Shamina (12:17):
Right? As opposed to my

Davina (12:19):
What was was your what was different about your desire?
Because I think a lot of peoplewould look at your life from the
external out and go, oh, she hadeverything.

Shamina (12:27):
What what

Davina (12:28):
else does she want? She's already making a good
living. She's already got thegood you know, like, all that.

Shamina (12:33):
Yeah. So I'll explain to you, I think, that

Davina (12:34):
for you that was missing, and what was that
missing piece that you had adesire for?

Shamina (12:38):
Well, I think there needs to be, like, a little bit
of preface with this. So beingthere's a difference between
desire and goal oriented. And soachievement, it was one of my
biggest things that I wentafter. So I was a high achiever.
I could get everything done.
If you put put a challenge infront of me, it would get done.
And most women who becomelawyers are the same way. We're
high performers. We're highachievers. However, there's the

(13:00):
thing that shifted was thereasoning why I wanted these
things.
So I don't know if you've everheard of the saying be, do,
have. You need to be. You needthat you do, and then you will
have. But what I did with mylife before I had my awakening
and where I am now is that Iwould do so that I would have
and then I would be. So I got itbackwards.
So I would do all the things,have all the accolades, and then

(13:22):
maybe I would be happy. But onthat yoga mat that day, it did
not make me happy. Anytime we dosomething, it's for the feeling
it would give us. But whenyou're disconnected from your
emotions and you do not know howto feel your emotions, you
actually can't connect to yourdesires truly. And so whenever
you're hitting an achievement,it's always like, what's next?
What's next? So for a lot of thewomen I work with and thousands

(13:42):
of women, this is a pattern, isthat what will happen is we hit
that next level. Like, I havethree degrees. Right? I've okay.
Made a million. What's next?What's next? If we don't sit and
enjoy the success that we have,it'll never you won't be able to
feel it and and let it amplify.I couldn't do that before
because I was so disconnectedfrom my emotions because that
whole feminine energy was lockedoff in me.

(14:02):
And so when we talk aboutdesires, I I didn't know what my
desires was. I knew what mywants, my needs for success
were, my goals were before. Soon paper, they tell you, like,
success is supposed to look acertain way. You know, you have
a perfect body. Go to school.
You get your degree. You go tograd school. You start your own

(14:23):
law firm, you marry a great guy.He has his own business. You
create businesses together.
We go to Europe. We go to theTurks And Caicos. We have
amazing life. But it's allbecause you're supposed to show
here how successful I am. I havethese things.
But really what that is not isnot actually a desired state.
It's a goal state. So stay withme for a second. I wanna explain

(14:44):
to you the whole process of it.Yeah.
So instead of being in my heartand in my body to feel it, I was
all in my head. And this is whatwhere this is the deciphering
between, do I really wantsomething, or I'm just going
after it because that's whatsociety told me I'm supposed to
do? So when I start out withmost women, I'm like, well, what
do you want? You know, what'syour desires? Like, what is the

(15:05):
thing that and a lot of themhave a really hard time with
actually going to that, like,big vision because the vision is
the feminine.
The masculine is like, okay.I'll do this. I'll do this. I'll
do this, and then I'll be happy.But a but a vision, a a desire
that comes from your soul, thatcomes from a place that you
can't explain why you want whatyou want.
It is it is not it it doesn'tmake sense to other people. And

(15:27):
so now that I've done this work,I actually can tap into my
desires. And if we're talkingabout creating money and wealth,
money needs a place to go. It'snot just a matter of making
money. We want to be able tohave our money go somewhere.
So if we're really tapped intoour desires, then the money will
have a place to go. But goals,they fly they fall flat. They're
like, I checked this off, andit's always every single high

(15:49):
performer. What's next? Evenbefore that goal's done, she
wants to put a check beside itand go, what's next?
What's next? That's all I did. Ialways lived for what's next
because none of it fulfilled me.And the thing that I was looking
for on that yoga mat was not thethings, it was fulfillment. It
was like, how is this gonna makeme feel?
How fulfilled am I? And youcan't buy or achieve
fulfillment. You have to becomea woman who knows how to access

(16:11):
fulfillment, to be fulfilled, tofeel fulfilled, or otherwise,
you spend your whole life goingafter this, this, this. This is
like when people lose weight.They're like, well, I lost ten,
fifteen pounds.
I'm supposed to feel better. I'msupposed to this is supposed to
feel better. Why don't I feelgood enough? I need to lose five
more. I need to do this.
I need to have this. And so highachievers never hit a place

(16:32):
where it's like, I feel goodenough. And this stems into a
whole another conversation whichI experienced, which is like the
unworthiness wound. And this issomething that is so completely
tied to someone's income intheir business too. Like, I had
a lot of childhood trauma that Ididn't get to work through
throughout my lifetime.
I did now, and I'm healed fromit. But that's what drove the

(16:53):
masculine, the suffering, andthe success. And a lot of women
don't realize, like, whenthey're in hustle mode and when
they're a high performer,underneath that is a very, very
much unhealed trauma that'srooting that drive to show that,
one, I can be I'm good enough.I'm validating myself. Look at
all the success I have.
They don't consciouslynecessarily do it. It's all in a

(17:13):
subconscious level because oursubconscious is run by our
emotions. And if our emotionsare, I don't feel good enough,
you're gonna spend all day everyday trying to prove to the world
and yourself and whoever else,look at me, look what I can do.
Right? Money never makes us feela lasting feeling of success or
of look what I've look what I'veachieved.

(17:34):
Like, you can buy the Mercedes.You can get the the diamonds,
but they're all very temporary.You know? Because I always say
money will never change whoyou're being. You have to get
that from within, and that comesfrom removing the layers of the
masculine and getting out ofyour head and into your heart.
You know? And a lot of womencan't do it because they can't
be present. They can't meditate.When they're busy, their

(17:55):
schedules are busy. That's atrauma response, and they have
no idea that they're in it.

Davina (17:59):
Right. Right.

Shamina (18:00):
So that's that's that's how that works.

Davina (18:02):
I wanna dig deeper. No. I'm glad you explained it
because I think that that wasvery helpful. I wanna get into
the, trauma part because I havequestions about that. But before
we go there, if you couldclarify masculine and feminine
because I think a lot of people,you're not talking about
identity or sexuality oranything like that when you're

(18:23):
talking about masculine,feminine energy.
Talk about what those what thoseare.

Shamina (18:28):
Sure. So we all have masculine and feminine. No
matter if you are heterosexual,same sex, it doesn't matter. We
all have it. If you're a man,female, it doesn't matter.
All of us have masculine andfeminine. Now for I'm gonna take
for all intents and purposes thegals who are listening to this
call and us and high performers.So many of us, we have we are
predominantly intermasculine. Imean, it's one of the things

(18:51):
that I don't think we evenrealized. I didn't realize at
the time when I was doing it.
It was just a natural state. Soit comes with you don't have to
have massive abuse in yourchildhood to be a masculine.
Your mother could have hadunhealed trauma, which she
passed down to you, which ifyour mother didn't heal her
trauma, and it doesn't matterwhat it looks like, It could
have been, like, being in anabusive relationship or not

(19:12):
feeling good enough or she hasan identity crisis. Whatever it
is, if she didn't heal it, shecould have gone into her
protective state, which ismasculine. And then that would
force you to go

Davina (19:20):
in, like, a hid. It's like a real intellectualizing of

Shamina (19:24):
I'll explain to you. I wanna just that aggressive
report it.

Davina (19:27):
Right?

Shamina (19:27):
You can understand how it is. So, like, when we are
looking for masculine, we'relooking for protection provider.
It's analytical. It'soverthinking. It's planning.
It's I need to know all thedetails, how I'm gonna get it
done. It's perfectionism. It'sit's trying to control the
narrative. It's it's it's thedoer. It's doing energy.
So feminine is this is where Iwould ask all the women, are you

(19:51):
intuitive? And all of them wouldsay yes. And I said, do you
trust it all the time? And Iwould get probably a no because
they go into the masculine. Andfeminine is knowing, trusting,
allowing creativity.
It's unforeseen things. It'schaos. It's not organized. It's
very much the beauty of who weare. It's actually our
superpower.

(20:11):
It's receiving. You know, mengive, we receive. It's a very
different dynamics. And so whenwomen have tapped into their
feminine and then they go domasculine tasks in their
business, that's when they makemoney in an abundance as opposed
to in suffering or out ofhustle. So when I look at a
woman who is in her feminine,she's allowing, she's trusting,

(20:32):
She's not micromanaging.
She knows how to receive supportin her business. She's got SOPs.
She's got, you know, systems inher business as opposed to a
woman who is, you know, all inher masculine. I can do
everything by myself. She'sstill doing those nine to five
tasks herself.
She's answering the phones.She's doing all the hourly jobs
as opposed to having a team.Right? Because when a woman can

(20:52):
be supported, she knows how toreceive and have a team. A woman
who's doing everything herself,she's constantly like, I got
this.
I got this. I got this. And soshe's got this
hyperindependence. So she'sshe's she's overperforming,
overdoing. It's just her, like,I'm gonna do it all.
Like, and I don't need anybodyto help me kind of thing. And
asking for help is it feels likeit's a weakness. It's like it's

(21:14):
a level of intimacy that shecan't handle because I how dare
I would never ask anybody forhelp because I can do it all by
myself. And so this is a fallacythat most of us were raised
with. I mean, I was in thehospital delivering my second
baby on a call with a lawyer,and he's like we were closing a
deal.
And he's I was like, I'm gonnahave a baby soon. And he's like,
so, like, next week? I'm like,actually, in an hour. I mean,

(21:34):
like, at what why was I doingthat? Why didn't I let Like,

Davina (21:38):
the number of stories I've heard, like, I had a my
first call with a client. Shewas in the hospital. She was in
the hospital having her firstVIP session with me, and I she
called, and I'm like, what areyou doing? You're in a hospital
gown. You're in the hospital.

Shamina (21:50):
Why are you why are you treating me now? She had been
that patient.

Davina (21:54):
She was having a heart attack at 30 years old because
she was so driven with thedriving energy. Yeah.

Shamina (22:01):
Well, it's not just drive. I think it's act that's a
fallacy, actually. I think it'snot drive. It's like, I it's
there's no off. And because it'slike it's like if you if I stop
you know, one of the things Ihelp with women when they come
with me, like, what am Isupposed to do?
Just watch watch Netflix? Like,just take some time off? I'm
like, yeah. I'm like, it feelslazy. I said, that's actually a

(22:21):
precondition of yours becauseyou have a dysregulated nervous
system.
So you don't actually know howto be present. This is why
meditation or being in thestillness or doing the be part
of the be do have is hard for somany women because they have to
be busy because they actuallycannot be in their own body. So
it's like, let me get out of mybody. Let me do a bodybuilding
competition. Let me exercise.

(22:41):
Let me do, do, do, do, do, havea fully booked out schedule of
things personal and, you know,business wise because then I
never have to be present. Andthat's why they're in the next,
next, next. And so for me,learning to regulate my nervous
system was actually the biggestthing that ever happened for me
because then it also helped myneural pathways get out of fight
or flight. So I realized all theway that I had done things

(23:04):
before was just out of atraumatic response as opposed to
actually being cognitive oflike, wait, this is this is
actually safe for me to be here.And then I adopted it with money
for women.
And then that was a huge shiftfor why women like, we've had
51,000,000 sorry. We've had 51women become millionaires or
multimillionaires with me, andand 346 have their highest cash

(23:24):
months because they're breakingself imposed ceilings that
they've put on themselvesbecause they're in this state.
And so when you think about whywe perform so much, where are
you going? Like, women who haveto wake up at 5AM, they just
wanna do a million things in theday. And I wake up, and I have
soft girl mill soft girl moresoft girl millions mornings, you
know, where I'm just like, Iwake up.

(23:45):
I don't need to rush off tothings because I'm not trying to
do a million things in a day.And I learn how to work less and
make more money because of thestructure of my business and my
offers and everything that I'vedone, but also how I get up
every morning. And this is whatI want help more women do. Like,
you don't have to hustle andgrind yourself down. But when we
come back to the masculineenergy, we create a wounded

(24:07):
version of this masculineenergy.
So I'll I'll break it down. So alot of women I work with,
they're they're not really openand free to say I love you, or
they're not really like huggers,or they're like, they just like
posts because loving them wouldbe too emotional. They're they
have this shield on their heartbecause it's unsafe for me to
let my guard down and letanybody in because they haven't

(24:29):
learned how to feel theiremotions to process
disappointment or to processwhen something has hurt them. So
they stay on alert to be in aprotective state. So they create
a false sense of masculinity.
And this is why so many women gointo masculine. It's not their
fault. Like, when I hear a womanwhen they I see memes and I see
people talking about women beingtheir masculine, it is not a
choice that most women made.They made it because they had no

(24:52):
other choice. They went into asurvival state.
It's like this is do or dieright now. Like, they don't even
realize it. I need to protectmyself so that I can go function
and be successful. But whathappened is they turned off that
whole feminine, everything aboutit, because this is was unsafe.
Like, when we were growing up,did anybody say to you, like,
how are you feeling?
Like, what are your emotions? Itwas like, how fast can you run?

(25:12):
You know? It's like, what canyou do? Show me how smart you
are.
Like, are you a oh, you're agood girl. You did this.

Davina (25:17):
You got gold stars. You're a straight a student.
Whatever it was. Right? Yeah.
I I will I'm I wanna a couplethings I wanna talk about. One
is that, I don't I don't so thethe masculine energy, I thought
it was really interestingbecause there's nothing wrong
with masculine and feminine.Feminine is what it is. Right?
There's a time and place foreverything.
But it's like a hyperdrive ofmasculine energy that we get

(25:40):
into. And I I like when youtalked about it's there to
protect you. It's a protector.Because I think that's where it
where mentally and emotionallywe go when we get in that energy
is I'm here to make sure myfamily has enough to eat, to
make sure that the children aretaken care of, to make sure that
I'm doing all the things thateverybody thinks that I should

(26:03):
be doing or whatever. And whatwas interesting to me in your
book is you I often think oftrauma as childhood trauma, and
I think most of us have somesort of childhood trauma.
I've yet to meet anybody whohasn't. But, you know, maybe
there are those people outthere. There are some people who
will tell you, I had a perfectchildhood. I had a beautiful
childhood, and and there arethose people. But the the

(26:26):
interesting thing you said is itdoesn't have to be childhood
trauma.
It can also be some other traumathat's occurred in your life.
And I think that's veryinteresting because a lot of
people on here who are mothersare sitting here going, oh,
yeah. It's always the mother.How am I traumatizing my kid?
You know, like, they they takeit and they go, you know, or do
we all have trauma?
Am I traumatizing my kids? Andand sometimes you can have

(26:48):
what's a perfect childhood, andand maybe it wasn't as perfect
as you thought. Maybe whilewe're talking about trauma
there's little t and there's bigt. I've heard it referred to,
but still t. So big trauma iswhat we might associate with
things like abuse and sexualmolestation or parents divorcing
or or whatever these sort of bigtraumas that have, some apparent

(27:11):
dying.
But little t is this idea ofthere were a a thousand little
incidents where somebody saidsomething and you internalized
it, and it traumatized you eventhough might not have been their
intention to traumatize you. Ittraumatized you because it's how
you received it, and then youhaven't healed it as an adult.

Shamina (27:32):
Yeah. Compound. So

Davina (27:37):
when you're talking about the next key you talk
about is healing. So talk to meabout some of the well, kind of
how you realized that you neededhealing. And when you're talking
with your clients, how you helpthem come to a pace place where
they realize that there'ssomething that needs to be
healed? Because there's a

Shamina (27:58):
lot of

Davina (27:58):
denial, I think, that probably happens.

Shamina (28:00):
Well, there's and I agree with what you're saying.
There's there's so so manydifferent stages and layers.
Like, you know, when when Iteach strategy in my with my
business coaching, I'm like,well, first, we need to do the
identity work because we need toget you that nervous system
regulated, your neural pathways,you know, like, feeling like
you're not in fight or flight.We don't have something that's
combating because all of thatcreates resistance. It creates
the ceilings like I talkedabout, and it creates the

(28:22):
overdoing.
And so you're not reallyactually running your law firm
or wherever you're running youryour your your, you know, your
medical practice, whatever theway you want to because you're
constantly holding on to thepast with you as opposed to,
like, getting a fresh startevery day, opening up your eyes,
and having no resistance outinto the world. You know, when
we're when we're in thatmasculine state, you'll you'll
even go to, like, the nail tech.I was at the nail tech the other

(28:43):
day, and she was so angry. Shewas, like, throwing everything.
And it's like when you seepeople who are, like, every day
carrying that baggage from thepast, it has nothing to do with
me, but that person is bringingtheir anger to every
conversation that they'rehaving.
I always say that you're theblueprint for your life and
business. So if you don't go andfigure out what's inhibiting the

(29:03):
success of your life andbusiness, then it's gonna keep
showing up. And it doesn't justshow up in, like, the income. It
shows up in the weight. It showsup in your face.
Like, women can see from a yearwhen they work with me, they're
completely even physicallytransformed. You know, it it it
locks in in different placeswhere it's holding energy.
Because if you don't transmuteor move that energy out, it's
gonna stay stuck in you. Soit'll be like a little reminder.

(29:24):
Hey.
Don't forget. I'm actuallyafraid of the dark. Or, hey.
Don't forget. Someone yelled atme one day, so I'm afraid to
show up online.
Hey, don't forget that someonetold me I was fat, so you know
what? I'm never going to dressthis way. And so we carry all of
these things with us through ourlife, and then they affect all
of our decision makingprocesses, like how we do
everything. So when we go backto heal, I looked at it this
way. Was there something that Iwanted in my life right now that

(29:48):
I didn't have?
Okay. Well, whose whose faultwas that? And then when I
realized that it was my own,like, there's a difference
between having a scarcity and avery victim mindset, and there's
one that's of abundance andsomeone who is taking
accountability and that thatthey're they're self
accountable. Right? And I wasnot somebody who was self
accountable my entire life.
For decades, I was like a closetvictim, you know, person. I was

(30:09):
blaming other people'ssituations. You don't know what
happened to me. I didn't tellpeople what happened to me, but
I was like, you don't know whathappened to me. You don't know
the struggles I've been through.
You don't know how hard it is.And I would I was really an
angry woman for a very longtime. I was ice queen. I was I
was someone who was veryjudgmental, and I was not
somebody who, you know, but Ididn't know any better. I didn't
know you're supposed to resolvethese things.
I was just a pusher through herin life. You know, I had lots of

(30:32):
friends, but how close werethose friendships? And what what
were they really real? Right? Orwere they just surface?
And so part of the process Iwent through, I started seeing
this. I'm like, you know what?When I healed something, all of
a sudden, I made an opening withme and the universe for it to
come in. And then I got addictedto it. I was like, wow.
There's nothing that I can'thave in this lifetime. As long

(30:53):
as I can get myself open toreceiving it, I can have it.
Whatever it is, I could I coulddo it. Like, when I came into
the online space and I leftpracticing law and I started my
business here because I got thiscall and after the yoga mat said
I was here for something big, Iwas like, I saw everybody making
money online. I'm like, allright.
I declared to the world a yearfrom now I was gonna be a
millionaire. Well, a year fromthen, I made a million dollars

(31:14):
in my practice, and I workedliterally a third of what I
worked in my firm. So it waslike, okay, I'm onto something
right now. So maybe there's more

Davina (31:21):
to from hustle.

Shamina (31:23):
No. It wasn't from hustle. It was from such a
different way. And so I startedreally working on, like, healing
the thing that put me in themasculine state. So when you
think about masculine, it is avery much like the wounded, the
survival state masculine, notthe healthy masculine.
The survival state is masculine.It's usually coming from a place
where and if we have underneaththe next layer an unresolved big

(31:46):
T or little t trauma, it's stillgonna put you into a scarcity
and lack state without youknowing about it because it's
not coming from a place ofabundance. There's something
that's unresolved because maybeyou have been victimized or
something happened, but you havenot dealt with it. So that's why
you're protecting it with thatmasculine shield. So when I
figured that out, I was like,alright.
We're no longer doing that waybecause that way is so hard. My

(32:09):
kid drew me in preschool. Like,I opened up this thing, and I
there's a stick figure layingsideways. And I was like, who is
that? He's like, mommy.
I was like, oh, shit. That'smommy on the couch, I guess,
when I was really tired at somepoint.

Davina (32:22):
Your phone probably.

Shamina (32:23):
Probably. It was like a wake up call to me. This is how
my child is seeing me. Like,there's something going on where
I am overexhausted that I'mspread so thin with I had no
more capacity. It wasn't abouttime anymore.
It was about capacity to holdthings because you carry the
world of the past and all thoseboulders with you, and then
you're trying to move forwardwith all the past stuff from

(32:45):
your life. You're you're gonnabe in a really hard state. So I
went on a healing journey tofigure out, okay. What do I
want, and why don't I have it?So I'm not telling everybody to
go dig up your entire past.
Okay? Because I do it on a,like, as need basis. You wanna
have a better relationship withyour significant other. I'm
telling you, I was emasculatingmy very masculine ex husband at

(33:06):
the time. This guy's a hunter,fisherman, engineer, ran his own
business.
But because I was so closed offand in my masculine, I didn't
even give open myself up toreceive his love in a way that I
could. You know? I was so in aprotective state. And when women
are in this state, they'remasculine, and their husbands
are like, well, I don't have sexwith anymore. I wanna be this
with him anymore.
He's too feminine. But whenwe're in this protective state,

(33:27):
we're not even allowing ourhusbands and our significant
others to come in. We're noteven allowing support. And
they're the ones that aresupposed to be being the
protector provider taking careof. We're not supposed to be
paying all the bills.
Like, yes, we make our ownmoney, but the men that we
desire in our lives, they'resupposed to be the leaders with
the high, powerful, masculinetaking care of us. Like, every
single woman I've ever talked tosaid, I want a man to come in
and just say, hey, baby. Packyour bags, or we're going on a

(33:50):
trip or we're going out fordinner here. This is what I
want. She doesn't wanna be thedecision maker.
But when you're in that unhealedmasculine state, you're gonna be
controlling and micromanagingand trying to do everything
because your nervous systemneeds that to feel safe. And so
every woman wants a man to comeand feel safe. So I said, okay.
Well, if I wanna attract the guyof my dreams, I need to get out

(34:10):
of this place and startattracting more healthier
relationships. You know, my exhusband was a provider, and I
still made money from my my firmmoney was fun money, buying all
the fun things, and his was totake care of the mortgage and
the other things.
So we had a good setup there.However, you know, to call in
other people, like support,friends, you know, not always be
the one that picks up the bill,but be the one that, like, can

(34:31):
be the give and taker in the inthe relationship. It is so
important that we heal that. SoI started taking an inventory of
my life and be like, what don'tI like? What what what is off
here?
And then I'm like, alright.Let's go in and find out where
this belief might be. And sowhen I say I talked about the
first pillar of identity work,I'll sit there and I'll journal
on it. I'm like, okay. You know,after I got divorced, I had a

(34:52):
big belief that I couldn'tsupport myself myself like, by
myself.
I was like, can I can I pay allthe bills myself? Because my ex
husband did it. So can I dothat? I mean, I had my own firm,
and I could, but but it was abelief because I just believed
it. And so I had to work on itfor a minute.
I'm like, alright. Yeah. I cando this. But I don't want to. I
wanna have someone come in thatcan't I wanna make my own money,
my millions, and have someonecome in.

(35:13):
Like, you're allowed to haveboth, and I didn't know that. I
thought I was supposed to takecare of everything. And and when
it comes to children, right, myI had to raise my son in such a
way that he understood hismasculine energy. Being a single
mom and being a mom itself,you're already in your masculine
because you're taking care ofeverybody. So you go from one
job being a lawyer, being inyour masculine.

(35:33):
Coming home, you're wearing it.And then you're like, oh, yeah.
By the way, and then I wantsomeone to just come over here
and, like, give me a foot ruband just take care of me. But
there's no room for that. Right?
So I had to you have torestructure how you show up.
And, like, especially with mychildren, I've I've ended
generational trauma with themand created generational wealth
because of what I've taughtthem. And, you know, it's really

(35:53):
specific things that how Iraised my son is, like, three
areas, and I can tell you later,and how I raised my daughter so
that they were emotionallymastered so that they can
understand, and they can be intheir healthy, masculine,
feminine, which, I mean, itchanges everything.

Davina (36:06):
Yeah. Yeah. When you when we're talking about
healing, tell me some of theidentifying those identifying
what's unhealed is critical. Butthen what are some of the,
modalities? You said you triedmany modalities.
What ultimately sort of led youto healing, and how quickly do

(36:28):
you heal something? Let's sayyou have trauma around, you
know, your relationship and notfeeling like you could be in the
feminine because you're in themasculine or or whatever. You're
protecting yourself. Andwhatever is at the root of that,
Getting to the root of that andthen healing it. I think there's
a lot of, misunderstanding orlack of understanding around

(36:52):
what healing means.
Some people say go to atherapist and I've been to
therapists and some are good,some are not good. And and some
of them, I've I've put theirkids through college. So and
didn't get and then I, then Irecently started following
somebody on social media who's ayoung woman, and she's a
therapist and she's calling outall the things that I could

(37:17):
never put a name on in therapythat was wrong with therapy and
what's happening and she talksabout how we're labeling things,
but we're not actually healingthrough it. Right? Right.
So tell me Sure. Your thoughtson sort of the healing through
it piece.

Shamina (37:33):
So one of the things I talk about in my book, Unlocking
the Quantum Woman, is yourtriggers. And this is, like, the
first identifier becauseusually, the thing that needs
healing, what's on top of it, isanger. So when we can find where
we get triggered, where we havean emotional response to
something, it's it it is like aclue box because it tells you,
okay. There's something here Ineed to look into. So I'll give
you an example.
Like, when the triggers couldcome from anger, rage, or, like,

(37:56):
oh my gosh. I feel so sad or Iwanna shrink or why do I feel
uncomfortable? Like, something'sbothering me. You know? So I
would tell my clients to go andI speak about it in the book,
and I I have one of my coursesthat I teach.
I say, I want you to just trackyour triggers for a week. I have
a client now. She's beentracking her triggers for two
years. And it's not to say thatthey they don't go away, that
new ones pop up. And it's not tosay that they can always be

(38:19):
dissolved, but you have a way ofresponding them to them easier.
So when you identify a trigger,then you're like, wait. You can
see a pattern. I keep gettingtriggered over this same type of
thing over and over again. Whatyou're doing is you're taking
yourself into the driver's seatand becoming self accountable
instead of you going out and belike, do you know what that
person did to me? Can youbelieve she did that?
Because that's usually whatpeople are are would say. And

(38:40):
then they wanna

Davina (38:41):
And do

Shamina (38:41):
call up a friend. Yeah. Yeah. Come up with a friend, be
like, can you believe it? Andthen they get that friend that's
like, oh, that bitch.
I can't believe she did that.But then there's actually no
solution because all it's doingis just satiating the little
child in you who needed to hearthat you weren't wrong or you
weren't bad, but it doesn'tresolve it. But the way that you
can resolve this is, like, tome, having a being reactory
towards something is not you andyour power, but being able to

(39:03):
control your response and decidehow you want to respond is a
powerful move. When a woman cansit there and go, Yeah, that
triggered me, I'm going to beupset and angry about it, but
process it and then decide howto respond. That's the best way.
Instead of getting defensive,you know, taking things
personal, like so many womentake things personal and they
make it about them. And I'mtelling you, 95% or maybe even

(39:24):
99% of what's going on withsomeone else has nothing to do
with you at the time. I alwayssay be grateful for a trigger
because even though that personmight have said something to
upset you, I guarantee you it'snever what they said. It's
always something that's happenedfrom a distant past, long time
ago, and it's just coming up foryou. And if you can have so much
emotional intelligence anddiscernment to be like, you know

(39:47):
what?
Thank you. Yep. This is great.I'm gonna go work on it. And
then this is the next process.
So once you've identified atrigger now and you see a
pattern, now you've gotta figureout where did it come from?
Where where did this where didthis originate from that I feel
this way about myself? You know,I had a client once, and so one
of her triggers were that everytime she went to go eat food,

(40:08):
she had a lot of guilt about it,let's say, for example. Well,
when she was four years old, wefound out that she took an extra
cookie when her mom was bakingcookies. And at this moment,
this her mom was like, no.
You're gonna get fat if you eatthis. You know, the woman, she
was in her fifties or somethingat the time. She's gonna get fat
if you eat that. And so everytime, she started eating food in
secret. And so she would shewould hide because she had shame
over even wanting seconds orhaving a cookie or anything

(40:30):
else.
And she didn't even realize shehad five children. She was a mom
of five. She had her ownbusiness and practice. And when
she realized the connection ofthis, she dropped, like, I don't
what's it, twenty five poundsbecause she realized, you know
what? I don't need to feel shameover.
I'm a grown woman. And I think alot of women forget that they've
become grown women, and theystill operate from this little
girl syndrome. Is because it'sun because whatever they're

(40:52):
feeling is attached to thatchildhood. Yes. And then she's
connected to it.
And so now she doesn't realizethat it's the little girl that's
making decisions in her life,not the grown ass woman. And so
when you can figure out wherethe trigger's coming from, you
can start putting that innerchild in the back seat and then
start driving the car instead ofthe inner child making all the
decisions. Because when you'rereacting when you're reacting

(41:13):
and you're not being, you know,cognitively responsive, your
your your inner child, though,healed. Like, that's not fair.
That you know, that's not nice.
And why this is important isbecause you don't heal these
things. They create income leaksin your business. Because when
you start making a lot of moneyand you hit a point and the
money is not compounding I'vehad many clients come to me that
are making a $100,000 a month,and they're like, why am I why

(41:35):
is this not sticking, Shamina?What the heck is going on? Well,
one, they're not they don't havethe capacity or regulated
nervous system to feel heal tohold the money.
And two, they have thisabandonment or betrayal or one
of those wounds come up, andthey're like, it's not safe for
me to hold this money. So youknow what? Subconsciously, I'm
gonna create all these expenses,these lawsuits, things coming
up, so the money's gonna goright out the door. And they're
like, okay. We got a patternhere.

(41:56):
This is going on because thepattern's there. The pattern is
like going and looking at youryour books giving to your
accountant. It is there. Andwhat people don't realize is
that they think, like, dating aguy. Oh, this guy's not right
for me.
You know what? The second guywas the same thing as the last
guy. Oh, and the third guy andthe fourth guy. I was like, oh,
so who's the common denominatorhere? It's not the guys.

(42:16):
It's the pattern. And I do thiswith clients too. I'm like, oh,
you got another pain in the assclient coming in. Oh, another
pain in the ass client. Oh, thesame one.
The same one. Misalignedclients. The who's the pattern?
If you can be self accountableand have enough emotional
intelligence to turn around andbe like, hey. Maybe it's me,
then you can break it and get tothe root of it.
But until you identify the powerpattern, there's gotta be

(42:38):
awareness, and then there'sgotta be a methodology for you
to break it because it's like ahabit. Most of these things that
we're doing is at a habitualstate. It's because it's a
known. And we like to repeatknowns because we know what to
do. And this is what keeps mostwomen below their income levels
and not making more moneybecause they're staying stuck
reliving a pattern because itmakes their nervous system feel
safe.
So once we can identify whatyou're doing, we break that

(43:01):
pattern, it no longer has powerover you. And then you're like,
alright. I know I don't have toworry about this anymore, and
I've been worrying about thisbecause I just wanna feel safe.
And when you create that falsesense of safety, it actually
creates what it does is it keepsyou playing way below the bar of
where you could be. It doesn'tlet you go out and do the bigger
things in life.

Davina (43:21):
I I think that's a real contradictory kind of thing,
reality for us to hold to say,what do you mean it makes me
feel safe? It doesn't make mefeel safe every time I have a
roster of clients that I neverknow if are gonna fire me or I
never know if I'm gonna firethem or I'm gonna. And so it's
the same thing with, beingoverweight or obese. You'll hear

(43:44):
people say, well you're choosingthat because it makes you feel
safe and you're like, no I don'tfeel safe. I feel like I hate my
body and I'm constantly upsetabout it or I'm constantly
worried about food or whateverit is.
And so it's an interesting thingto say that it makes it that

(44:06):
people hold on to patterns andbehaviors because it makes them
feel safe. That's really about,like, familiarity.

Shamina (44:12):
Right? It's a known because because we we rather
know

Davina (44:16):
the devil you know.

Shamina (44:17):
That's exactly I was just gonna say that. So that's
better. And so this is why somany women play low below the
bar because it's a known, andit's comfortable. And they get
comfortable being in this verydisempowered state as opposed to
be and every single woman thatcome to you, they they they're
like, I'm a powerful woman. Ishould be playing a bigger game,
you know, making more money.

(44:37):
I should be running my, youknow, business this way. I
should be doing this, and I'mnot. And then why am I doing it?
I'm like, well, because you'reletting the pattern take over as
opposed to you, you know,running the show. And so when we
break the pattern, it's identitywork.
Right? You gotta break thepattern. It takes roughly about
four to eight weeks to really,you know, break the pattern.
Then I start seeing womenquantum leap. Then I start
seeing them have massiveresults.

(44:58):
Because what you're doing rightnow, it's like insanity because
you're doing the same thing overand over again thinking what
things should be different. Youknow, this that's what they say.
Right? Doing the same thing overand over again.

Davina (45:08):
Can't really see it.

Shamina (45:09):
Right. And they can't see it themselves because
they're living in it. And sountil you get a point to get it
mirrored back to you, thenyou're like, oh, I am doing
that. Like, I had no idea. Like,I I met a guy once, and he's
like, I I for the life of me, Ican't real I don't know why I'm
not losing weight.
There's gotta be somethingmedical. I watched this dude
over a two day period eateverything under the sun and

(45:30):
drink everything. And he's like,you know, I go to the gym, and I
don't lose weight. Well, I'vegone to the gym. Like, are you
consistent?
Well, I went a couple of times.And, you know, but I gotta
probably I've got probably got amedical issue. Like, why I can't
I I can't meet girls. And I'mthinking, okay. You just showed
me.
Are you open to seeing what'sgoing on right here or not?
Because we live in our lives allday long. You know? I was at

(45:51):
another mastermind event, and agal goes, I had a perfect child.
Every they both said it.
Perfect childhood. Yep. I spenta couple minutes with her, and I
was like, so tell me about that.You know? Like because I could
see she was a perfect child.
No. She was like, everything wasamazing. But but as she was
telling me the patterns of herlife, she had a mother wound.
And so it was coming up, and itwas affecting her money. I'm
like, here's the thing.

(46:11):
If you've got if you aren'tmaking payroll or you're having
a a problem with income, there'ssomething going on right now
that you have to look at, andyou can't just say there's no
issues. So if you're allowed tobe open to, like, thinking you
are the blueprint for your lifeand business. So whatever your
money mindset is, what yourwealth consciousness is, what
you believe is true, it is gonnashow up in your business, like,

(46:33):
on repeat and everywhere in yourlife. So if there's a result you
want and you don't have it, yougotta go back to like, I always
say this with the Taylor Swiftthing. I know like, she says,
I'm the problem, but you're alsothe solution, which is the most
beautiful thing.
So if you're the problem, youactually are the solution. And
honest honestly, a lot of women,they don't realize that they're

(46:54):
doing this thing because they doit at a habit. It's a habitual
thing. It's the way they put ontheir shoe, the habits that they
think every morning. And this iswhy self development and working
on yourself every day isimportant.
Like, I see clients all thetime. I'm like, you know, why
are you charging so little foryour services? Don't you feel
like you should be charging morefor this or, you know, you
should be attracting morepremium clients? Yeah. But you

(47:15):
know what?
You know, I need to get thebills paid or I need to do this.
I'm like, yeah. But everymisaligned client

Davina (47:20):
The market won't bear it.

Shamina (47:21):
Yeah. Every misaligned client you bring in is costing
you three high level clients,you know, where you could be
working less with people who arepremium coming to work with you
as opposed to you, but they'reconditioned and programmed
through a patterning becauseunresolved stuff creates that
masculine, but also does alsohas you in scarcity, which is
like, I've gotta take everybodyand anybody so I can get by. But

(47:44):
what that does is you're workingway harder for this client as
opposed to working for a premiumclient at a higher level of
service for less money. And sothat's how that conditioning
affects everything. Right?
And to me, it was like, okay.You can keep doing it and
suffering, or you can be like mewhere, you know, I make more
money in one day than I did awhole year sometimes at my law
firm. I'm going to the AmalfiCoast. I'm going to the French

(48:05):
Riviera. I'm taking three and ahalf weeks off of my business,
and I'm gonna go live my life.
You know? I would rather livethis way, and I and I have the
body of my dreams now, you know,instead of and everything. Not
just that, but all the waythings that I thought I had
before.

Davina (48:19):
I wanna ask you this. What is the difference now
between going to the AmalfiCoast and taking three weeks off
versus what you were doingbefore? Because you said, you
know, my husband and I, we wentto Europe and all that. So
what's the difference for younow? Where is the it's obviously
you're more fulfilled now doingit than you were then.
But explain that a little bit.

Shamina (48:40):
I'm present. I'm not anxious. Like, I'm not worried.
Like, I was trying to do dealswhen I was in Madrid. You know
when the time differencehappens?
It was like I felt like I had towork. I don't have to work when
I'm away anymore. I can take thetime off, and my business will
still run. You know, we havefunnels. We I have seven streams
of income.
There's ways of setting up yourbusiness so foundationally. It
doesn't matter what you do. Itdoesn't matter if you're a

(49:01):
lawyer, doctor, you know, acoach, a real estate agent. You
can make money without having tobe making money. Like, when
we're still in that exchangingtime for money mindset, that
means you are not in a place ofexpensive wealth.
But that also comes withidentity work because I have to
work. If I work hard, then I'llbe successful. Where I'm like,
no. If it's hard, then I don'twanna do it. If you once you're

(49:24):
scaling your business and you'rescaling, it should become
easier, not harder to do it.
Unless it becomes harder, it'syou know, you're working too
much. So that's the differencenow. It's like I get to go over
there, be present, fly my kidsfirst class there, you know,
back and forth.

Davina (49:38):
That everything's gonna fall apart while you're gone.

Shamina (49:40):
Exactly. But and be there and then shop and do what
I want. And, you know, it's justlike it's such a different way.
And and, honestly, I was I wasso restricted before in what we
spent money on. Like, I didn't Ihad the money, but I didn't have
the freedom to spend it the wayI wanted to.
I have way more money now than Idid then. But, I mean, it was
like, I I felt guilt about someof the things that I did. I

(50:03):
didn't I I had to justify apurchase or I was if it was on
sale, I bought it. Now if I wantsomething, I just want it. It's
full price.
I all money's money. I just knowthat forever and always till the
day I die, I will always be safewith money. And because I found
that safety within myself and Iregulated my nervous system
around the masculine, masculinethe masculine money and men and

(50:25):
all that, they're the sameenergy. So I realized that once
I could calm my nervous systemand feel safe, I never had to
worry. So going over on thosetrips, most people have this
anxiousness.
This is gonna cost me a lot.It's gonna be a 100 g's on this
trip. I'm gonna do this, this,and this. Where's this money
gonna come from? I go on thesetrips.
I come back, and I haveliterally, I've I'll have the
highest cash month the nextmonth when I come back because

(50:46):
of the way I've structured mybusiness, the way that I show up
in my business. That's thefeminine. She just trusts. She's
put things in place that thingsare gonna work. I don't have to
sit there and be anxious whileI'm gone.
And what if, let's say, it dipsin income a little bit that
month? The world doesn't end.I'm not saying it will, but if
it did if it did, the worlddoesn't end. Everything's gonna
be okay. But when and when youhave your own firm, you have a

(51:08):
lot of responsibilities.
There's a lot of things thatcome on your plate. And and a
lot of women could not even takea week off because they worry
things are gonna fall apart. Ihave an amazing team that's
gonna run my business when I'mgone. It's not a big team. I run
a very lean business.
We have an 85, 15% split, youknow, on my profit margin. The
way you set up your business, Icouldn't do that before. I would
do everything. Like I told you,I was in the hospital. I was

(51:29):
like, no.
My cheap mindset was like, I'mnot hiring all these people to
do this. I could do this faster.And, I mean, like, what was I
thinking doing that? You know?It was now I'm like, okay.
I'm gonna go away. My team'sgonna run it. They'll call me
when things are needed. I'mgonna maybe do a live. I'll you
know, here and there.
And that's the difference. Andalso, presence. I'm so present

(51:51):
that I'm not worried aboutwhat's next. I'm so present. I
have this calmness and stillnessinside of me that I soak up
every single moment with mychildren.
I realized very early on thatthere's this now that my kids
are gone off to school and gooff school, we only have them
for eighteen years, you know,really, where they're with us.
And I was rushing through mylife before and trying to do so

(52:12):
much that I was not a presentmother. I was too busy doing
everything else that I couldn'tsit in that stillness to be be
with my children. And and andthose memories that I've made
with my children now, they'rethey've forever changed my life
and theirs. And and I've I'veI've I can count on one hand how
many things I've missed.
My kids are athletes, superathletes. Like, we've got
cheerleaders, you know, footballplayer, rugby. And I can tell

(52:35):
you on one hand how many thingsI've missed. And that's, I
think, the difference. Before,my business would kind of trump
some of the other stuff.
Like, is it important? And nowit's like everything with them
is number one important, andeverything else comes second.
You know? So that's that's ifthat's the that's the big
difference. And now I'm like Iwould I have a driver when I go
over there.
I'm like, I don't mess around.I'm like, let's do it all

(52:57):
because it's just money. I'llmake more.

Davina (52:59):
Yeah. Yeah. I I have so many more questions for you, but
we are coming to an end. Iprobably better wrap it up.

Shamina (53:05):
Go ahead. Ask me the questions. I'll answer them
fast.

Davina (53:07):
Well, the other thing the other thing I was gonna ask
was around because I I'm hearingall of my of my women lawyers,
who have trust issues that theydon't realize they have. So, you
know, I'm hiring people, butthey're not good. They don't
want to work. They're not asgood as me that they can't get
it And there's this, I have thisone client who has, no problem

(53:32):
hiring people. And then I haveother clients who are like, I
can't hire anybody.
This, this, you know, it's justnot working. Nobody's, I can't,
there's nobody for me to hire.Nobody wants to work anymore.
You know, that kind of thing.And then I've got this one who's
just like, oh, yeah.
I hired three people in one day.And she wound up letting one go,
but the others turned out to begreat. You know? Like, it's so

(53:52):
there's there's something theretoo in that, ability to trust
other people to handle things.Like, if you don't have that
I'll break it down for you.

Shamina (54:02):
So this is how I look at this framework because I've
had this is, a problem with allmy clients. It's not like an
it's not a it's it's not a anunusual thing. So don't make
yourself feel wrong or bad forthis. Okay? So one of the things
is it's very intimate to havesomeone come in into your
business and like a safetything.
Right? Will they leave me? Andso letting my guard down to let
somebody I I had to go throughthis too. Like, I'm speaking
from experience. I've gonethrough a couple of team members

(54:23):
before I found my dream team,but it's letting my guard down
and letting that person in.
My abandonment wound would gettriggered. I'm like, okay. Why
are you gonna leave? Are yougonna are gonna take all the
things that I'm teaching you?Like, I only hire entrepreneurs
and entrepreneurs in mybusiness.
So people who wanna work for meas opposed to having their own
business, number one. Numbertwo, are they gonna leave, and
can I let my guard down? And andso a lot of the times what
happens is we are so programmedfor toxic relationships. I know

(54:47):
that sounds crazy to say that,but it's like confrontation with
a powerful woman is notsomething that we easily
embrace. We're like, we'll sitthere and go bitch to somebody
else about, look at thisperson's and then then finally,
the it's like the breakingpoint, then we get rid of them
as opposed to, you know, whatthey say, you know, hire slow,
fire fast.
And a lot of the times, we arewe have we don't have the

(55:08):
capacity to get rid of people.So we keep them on longer, and
then we start doing I had aclient. She was started doing
her receptionist or whoever orthat person's job, she she was
an anesthesiologist, and shealso had a practice where she
had plastic surgery and stufflike that. So she kept hiring
people. She's like, I can't getthe right person.
I'm like, okay. Let me ask youthis. Do you feel like you can

(55:30):
be supported? She's like, yes.But we went we got in deeper.
Her mother she's from SouthAfrica, and she lives in Canada.
Her mother and her father werealways the ones that she
supported financially, but alsoshe she took their praise really
high. She also felt like in hermarriage, which was failed, she
was not supported. She wastaking care of the man. And then

(55:51):
she also felt there's thiscompetition with her and her
sister that she never felt goodenough.
She took all of that and broughtit into her practice. So nobody
could ever do what she could dobecause she had to be the best
at what she did. So every singleperson that came in was never
gonna be good enough, even fromthe jump. And so I said to her,
go, do you really want support?Yes.
I do. I'm like, are you sure? Ordo you wanna just have a story

(56:11):
that you can tell people thatyou did it all by yourself? When
she had that moment, she startedcrying. She went through we did
some more things to go get getthe patterning and break it.
And then she realized, you knowwhat? Every single person, I
was, like, setting them up tofail to come in because I'd
never believed that I could besupported because I've had to do
everything on my own. She Shetook care of her ex husbands.
She took care of everybody. Shewas I didn't have the belief

(56:33):
that I could be supported.
And now that she does, she wasable to find her dream person,
which changed the wholetrajectory of her business
because you can't scale nothaving a team. Right? You can't
you can't do anything like that.So most of the time for women,
they don't believe they can besupported. They have a really
hard time with allowing peopleinto their space to trust them

(56:53):
because they're worried thatsomeone's gonna there's the
next, you know, wound, betrayal.
They're going to betray me. Soif you have any sort of betrayal
that has been resolved, guesswhat? It's gonna show up
everywhere, but that also gonnashow up in your money. So going
through this process is is likeit's like jumping out of a
plane. And the one client thatyou said she hired three, she's

(57:14):
learned.
Okay. I'm gonna test it out. I'mdriving a couple different of
them. See which ones I feel themost comfortable. And you know
what?
You might need someone who'sgonna keep reconfirming they're
not leaving, that they're safebecause you need that. You need
someone that say, yeah. I'm herefor the long haul. I'm I'm I'm
coachable. I'm willing to dowhatever.
And you as a leader, this iswhere a lot of women have a
problem, is they're notdelegating correctly, where

(57:35):
they're not actually askingpeople to do things because
they're doing it themselvesinstead of, you know, they're
cleaning up before the cleaninglady comes kind of thing. Right?
They're not sitting there,allowing people to do their job
because they're like they feellike if I ask them too much,
they might leave. Or if I givethem too much, they might get
angry with me if I do this. Andso they're they're they're
they're creating a situationthat doesn't need to be there,
and that's why they haven'tfound their dream team yet.

(57:57):
We have a whole hiring, like,little thing that we teach
people. It's like, I'll I'llI'll this is what I'll give you
a little tip. Write down all thethings that you do not love
doing in your business. Right?But then next, write down all
the things that other peoplecan't do, where you're supposed
to do.
But and then start doing them,and then hire people out for
these specific jobs. The fastestway to grow your business and

(58:18):
start feeling safe with growinga team is to bring people in.
Now create SOPs so that when youknow, standard operating
procedures where people come inand you can have, like, a a VA
online. You can have one inperson. Doesn't matter how you
run your firm, but you shouldnot be answering the phones.
You should not be doing allthose things, And you should be
doing things that are moneymaking moves. But if you're not
making a money doing a moneymaking move, you're doing an

(58:39):
hourly move. And that's how I Iwould start thinking about it.
Like, is doing the laundry amoney making move? Is even going
inside a grocery store?
Like, if any of my clients areeven going grocery stores, I'm
like, we need to talk. Becausethat is not a money making move
for you to spend three hours togo grocery shopping. You could
be doing other things that evenif it's just sitting and
chilling and watching Netflix,gets what? That's a money making
move because you're in thebeingness as opposed to going to

(59:00):
do everything. Right?
So that's that that's the shiftthat I think that women don't
understand. And it's intimate.It's like, can I can I let my
guard down and ask for help?Because you know what? Will
somebody help me?
And that's really hard for womento do when they're in this state
is to ask for help because itlooks like it's a weakness.
Start asking. Start delegating.You're gonna get addicted to it.

(59:21):
It's gonna change the whole it'sgonna change your entire
leadership of how you show up inyour business.
It's gonna change the type ofbusiness that you run by able to
delegate and ask for help. And,it's a slow process, but once
you start doing it, are magical.It's a major shift.

Davina (59:38):
Right. I often tell people it's also the security of
knowing that you will be okayand your business will be okay
if people come and go. Because II tell people, I said, well, you
know, like, imagine you havethis business for ten, twenty,
thirty years, however long youhave it. Do you expect every
person you hire to stay with youfor thirty years? If you do,

(59:58):
that's an unrealisticexpectation.
Mean, like, people don't peopledon't stake for the gold watch
anymore. And you'll be okay.You'll be okay because Don't
know that. You're evolving andgrowing, and maybe the next
person that comes along, nomatter how painful it is when
this person leaves, will be partof the evolution of the
business. So there's a lot ofthere's a lot of stuff around
that.
So and like I said, you and Ican probably talk for another

(01:00:20):
hour, but we'll wrap it up withyou telling me how people can
get in touch with you Yeah. Morevalue.

Shamina (01:00:25):
No problem. One thing I wanna say, though, is it's like
people look at their workrelationships like their their
their personal relationships,and that's where that lens that
you see the world needs tochange. Because when you can you
can look at the difference, likeyour performance at work and how
you are at home, they have to betwo different lens that you look
through. Right? Because you'reexpecting your employee or your
support team or your team memberto be a certain way with you,

(01:00:47):
and you're you're putting a lotof your old stuff on them to do
things.
They're not your emotionalsupport. They're not all these
things. They're here to perform

Davina (01:00:54):
a job. Yeah. And our family.

Shamina (01:00:57):
And I and I this is a this is a really big thing when
people are like, my my my workpeople or my family. That that
has to change because they'renot. They're your team members.
Team members get us to the top.They're, you know, you're the
Sherpa leading the way.
But if you look at people asbeing family, then family's
gonna disappoint you. Family'sgonna let you down. But team
members, they're there toperform for you to get you to be
the best. So shift into notlooking at them as family and

(01:01:20):
how you look at them, and you'regonna have a massive shift on
how you're running yourbusiness. You know?
Alright. We could talk for anhour and everything, but here's
one thing. Thank you so much forhaving me on, Devine. I really
appreciate it. Now we talkedabout this book, Unlocking the
Quantum Woman.
I would go grab it, run, get it,read it. Do the workbook inside.
I know all of you like listeningto audio and multitasking
because that's how you're that'show you're wired. But if you can
sit down and actually do the thethe questions in this workbook,

(01:01:41):
it'll be transformative for you.Doesn't matter how much, Mikey,
if you're making multiplemillions, doesn't matter where
you are in your business, it'sgonna show you how to add more
capacity in, but also bring upthat identity work that I teach
about.
And, you know, you're gonnastart seeing, like, maybe I am
undercharging for my myservices. Also, I have this
podcast. It's calledUnapologetically Rich. The
reason why I created it isbecause I believe that we, as
women, we can beunapologetically rich, meaning

(01:02:03):
you don't have to justify apurchase or you don't have to
you don't have to donate just tohave. You don't have to explain
to anybody why you wanna bewealthy.
And it's not just money. It'sabout wealth in your life, your
success all over. It's like,what does your life look like
and what it's rich? And we havea great series going on right
now with with billionaires andmultimillionaires who've started
from scratch. You wouldabsolutely love it.
Also, people call me themillionaire mentor because I'm,

(01:02:25):
like, in your ear. They feellike it's they're getting
therapy. I've had, like,literally, I've had probably,
like, 50 therapists come andwork with me in my paid
programs. And they're like, youare better than any schooling or
therapist that we did because itit really helps me feel see, I
know you. I was you, so it'llhelp.
One last thing is that sinceDevina has given you guys so
much value and I've on her show,I wanna give you guys one thing
free. And, you know, I wannamake sure that it's something

(01:02:48):
that you're aligned with so,know, when you send me a
message. So it's like foreverybody listening, this is,
like, something that I I don'tshare publicly. You can actually
buy a certain level of program,but I wanna give it to you guys
free. And I reserve it for myhigh level clients.
And so let me explain what it'sfor. Like, so if you are a high
achieving, high performing womanwho's already built momentum in
your business and you knowyou're meant for more, you know

(01:03:09):
that there's still some gas inthe tank and you should bid at
the next level, And maybeyou're, you know, running on,
you know, a little bit of acapacity. You know, you're
hitting a capacity level, andyou but you wanna elevate with
ease. You wanna do thingseasier. Like, I'm all about
making money and living a lifewith ease.
But if you wanna still stillsuffer, probably not for you. If
you wanna hustle and work reallyhard, this is not gonna be for

(01:03:31):
you. But if you're really donewith doing that and you wanna
unlock your next income and yournext level and, you know, really
be able to apply yourstrategies, this is what it is.
So today, I'm giving yousomething that's designed to
help you shift and bridge thatgap, and it's called the instant
cash flow method. And so thisthis high level, you know,
guide, it outlines dailyactivity to help you activate,
you know, that wealth identity,work on that identity, move

(01:03:53):
from, you know, what alignedaction to take, and really how
to really get to that next levelof income.
And it's designed to help youcreate instant cash flow.
Because you know what? Makingmoney with ease is so much
easier than working really hardand hustling for it. So this is
all you have to do to do it. Gogo find me on Instagram, Shamina
Taylor.
It's the blue one. Blue checked.And then I want you to send the
name well, we could have Davina.Just all you have to do is just

(01:04:15):
send the word Davina. I wasgonna say send the whole
podcast, but just send Davina,and it's an automatic thing.
It's gonna send you. Nobody'sgonna sell you anything. I live
in abundance, so my whole thingis, like, if I can get more of
me, women who were I was in aplace of knowing that life does
not have to be so hard, like, itdoes you don't have to live in
suffering. You don't have to doit the hard way. It will

(01:04:37):
literally change where we are.
Women, we have a wealthtransfer, a huge one coming up.
And let me tell you, we're gonnabe running the world. And I've
taken it upon myself to helpmore women create wealth with
ease so we can go do powerfulthings. You guys are so smart
and intelligent. I want you todo things.
Where you don't have to work ashard for the money and have more
time back. So I am always givingfree stuff away all the time

(01:04:57):
because I live in abundance. Idon't gatekeep anything. So go
do that, and come join us in theQuantum Woman group on Facebook.
And I'm just so grateful.
Devina, thank you so much forhaving me on. I I love talking
about this. I could talk aboutall day.

Davina (01:05:08):
Thank you, Shamina. I appreciate you being here. I've
really enjoyed the conversation.Great.

Intro (01:05:13):
If you're ready to create more of what you truly desire in
your business and your life,then you'll want to visit us at
wealthywomanlawyer.com to learnmore about how we help our
clients create wealth generatinglaw firms with ease.