"How you feel, what you want, and what you think have to be important to you. But it has to be more important than what anyone else wants, thinks, or feels." - Terri Cole
Have you ever wondered why you feel exhausted despite being incredibly capable and getting everything done? Licensed psychotherapist Terri Cole joins me to expose the hidden epidemic of high-functioning codependency that's leaving accomplished women in their 40s and beyond feeling burned out, resentful, and unknown by the people closest to them. This powerful conversation reveals why boundary setting for women isn't just about saying no—it's about reclaiming your authentic self and creating relationships where you're truly known. We dive deep into why saying "I don't care" when you actually do care is corrupting your relationships, how anticipatory planning is stealing your peace, and why that voice in your head saying "I don't want them to feel bad" is actually about control, not love. Terri reveals the two game-changing questions that will transform how you respond to every request and opportunity, plus why your automatic "yes" might be the very thing preventing authentic intimacy in your life. If you're ready to stop being everyone's rock and start honoring your own needs, this episode on boundary setting for women will transform how you show up in every relationship.
What you’ll learn:
How to identify if you're a high-functioning codependent versus someone who's simply caring and thoughtful
The hidden cost of being the "rock" everyone relies on and why nobody checks in on your well-being
Two essential questions to ask before agreeing to anything that will save you from resentment and burnout
Why giving advice immediately instead of asking expansive questions is sabotaging your relationships
The difference between your preferences, desires, limits, and deal breakers in boundary setting for women
How to use a resentment inventory as your GPS to identify where boundaries are needed
Why tolerating behaviors and situations is a form of self-abandonment that leads to bitterness
The connection between people-pleasing patterns and childhood indoctrination into the "cult of nice"
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Full show notes (including all links mentioned): https://jjvirgin.com/terri
Get Terri’s HFC High-Functioning Codependent) Toolkit
Order Terri’s book Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency
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The Terri Cole Show
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