January 20, 2024 • 51 mins
This is Part 2 of a series on Emotional Wellness. The conversation explores various aspects of our emotions, including the connection between lifestyle medicine, such as exercise, sleep, and diet, and our emotional well-being. We also discuss promoting emotional well-being in schools and in the workplace. We discuss the influence of social media and technology on emotional wellness. Emily breaks down the positive effect of connection with nature, and fostering deep and meaningful relationships on our emotions. She discusses the challenges faced by different groups in relation to emotional wellness: men v. women, old v. young, and differences along racial lines, as well as other minorities. She then turns to the concept of an emotional set point and sensitivity. She identifies the red flags of emotional distress, and how we cqn support others who might be struggling. The path to emotional wellness begins with awareness, and Emily discusses other strategies such as journaling and breathwork to help us move our emotional wellness in the right direction. Emily emphasizes the importance of changing perspective and blocking out negative self-talk. Instead she suggests using mantras and positve affirmations to promote self-love. Emily also highlights the importance of seeking help and support when needed, and the need for public mental health campaigns to foster open conversations about mental and emotional health, and to dispel stigmas. The conversation concludes with personal stories of emotional challenges that the panel members have experienced. We finish the podcast with Coach Lindsay's pearls of wisdom. We hope that you enjoy the show.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, this is Dr MacMillan and welcome to
Wellness Connection MD.
This episode is part two of aseries on the important topic
emotional wellness.
You might have fabulous bodilyhealth, but you're not optimized
unless you also have emotionalwellness.
These are challenging times welive in these days, so whether
you need to climb out of anemotional hole or you want to
get emotionally optimized, thisis the show for you.
(00:23):
Our special guest today isEmily Huedek, and she will
present to you some practicaltake home solutions to help you
achieve your emotional best.
We hope you enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Welcome to the Wellness Connection MD podcast
with Dr MacMillan and CoachLindsay, where we bring you the
latest up to date, evidencebased information on a wide
variety of health and wellnesstopics, along with practical
take home solutions.
Dr MacMillan is an integratedand functional MD and Lindsey
Matthews is a registered nurseand IIN certified health coach.
(00:55):
Together, our goal is to helpyou optimize your health and
wellness in mind, body andspirit.
To see a list of all of ourpodcasts, visit wwwengendcom and
to stay up to date on thelatest topics, be sure to
subscribe to our podcast on yourfavorite podcast player so that
you'll be notified when futureepisodes come out.
The discussions contain thesepodcasts for educational
(01:17):
purposes only and are notintended to diagnose or treat
any disease.
Please do not apply any of thisinformation without approval
from your personal doctor.
And now on to the show with DrMacMillan and Coach Lindsay.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
In this age of advanced technology, how do you
see social media influencingemotional wellness, both
positively and negatively?
It seems to me that the socialmedia platforms are not always
healthy places to hang out,especially for our young kids,
who might not have the filtersto know what's truth, what's not
truth and how to deal with that.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yeah, so I think social media is a blessing and a
curse.
It allows us to remainconnected, it allows us to stay
in touch with family members andfriends and so forth.
And you know that's not to saythat real in person connection
is not more valuable than, say,a connection via the internet.
(02:15):
I think we learned that a lotwith the pandemic and it's
really wonderful that we hadaccess to telehealth and we had
access.
But you know, a lot of researchwas done on social isolation
during that time and you knowsocial distancing and so forth,
and I really don't believe ithas the same effect necessarily
as having in person, you know,connection.
So in one way, we can begrateful that that was, you know
(02:39):
, that was available to us,because I think outcomes would
look very differently if wedidn't have such a powerful
ability to stay in touch withpeople.
And then, on the flip side, Ithink social media is, you know,
negatively influencing us.
This comes from, you know, thefact, that diet, culture and you
(02:59):
know this ideal body image andyou know comparisons and all of
these expectations that thesechildren and adolescents and
teens, and even now as adults,that we have and we place on
ourselves, based on thehighlight reel that we see on
social media, and I think what'sproblematic here is the fact
(03:21):
that I feel very lucky that mygeneration I don't think I was
maybe 17, 18 when social mediareally became more prominent in
my life, right with Instagramand TikTok, wasn't even a thing
right.
But now we're seeing generationsone-year-olds, two-year-olds,
three-year-olds exposed to theseplatforms, so their
(03:46):
understanding of reality isalready skewed before they even
have the words to reallyunderstand what it is that
they're seeing.
Right, and I think that this isso harmful because we have such
a distorted view now of what isreality, what is falsified,
what is, you know, an elaborateillustration of?
(04:07):
You know what the female bodyshould look like, or you know
these routines and theselifestyles that are so over the
top and buying all of the latestand greatest, and you know it's
a very elaborate, veryluxurious and materialistic type
of view, and if we're not ableto see the difference, we can
(04:29):
only imagine how that's going toimpact an individual's
self-esteem, how they seethemselves, their body image and
so forth.
Right, so I think it can beseen in both lights and I wanted
to be sure that I emphasize thepositives of it too, but I
think, negatively speaking.
It's definitely headed more inthat direction.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Well, it circles back to me to just our whole
conversation about emotions ingeneral.
You have bad and good.
Well, you have positive andnegative emotions, just like you
said, and I think the samecould be said with the social
media experience.
So, just like we're talkingabout having emotional
intelligence, I think we almostneed to coin the term like
social media intelligence.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Like just those boundaries and how to create
them and what that looks like.
So I appreciate your insight onthat.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I mean, it seems to me like socialization is an
important aspect in developingemotional wellness.
In the old days we used to stopby spontaneously and visit with
each other and spend qualitytime with friends and neighbors
and family.
Down south we call that frontporch time.
You know people come by andnext thing you know they come up
on the porch and we're chattingand we get out to Ben Joe in
the fiddle we smoke a corn poppipe ram it to back.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Which you truly do play the by the fiddle, dr
McMahon, I do.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You're laughing because you've probably done
that.
You've had that experience Ihave.
It's a good experience.
Right, right, but nowadays itseems like it's almost rude to
even call somebody, have to textthem and say is this an okay
time to talk, right, yeah, sure,much less like stopping by
spontaneously.
But it seems like I don't know.
In this sort of high-paced,fast-paced world we live in, how
(06:05):
can we foster deep, meaningful,authentic relationships with
others?
I mean, that's something that'sreally missing these days.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I think you know we don't havethose experiences like you're
saying right, where you wouldjust stop in.
Or, you know, with morespontaneous, less planned and
like you're saying now it's, Ihave to send a text before I
even make a call.
Why can't I just make the call,right?
Or why can't I just stop in?
And you know, to some extent,I'm sure there's some
(06:32):
relationships that you know thatstill does apply.
But I think when it comes to,you know, fostering these
meaningful, authenticconnections, I think part of it
has to do with, like we justtalked about, staying connected
with someone, right?
I think that that's an obvious,an obvious example of how we
can continue to maintain theserelationships Staying connected,
(06:56):
staying engaged, staying, youknow, in communication with
someone, right?
I think, making time for theseindividuals.
I think that is a big thing.
That's changed as well is we'rejust too busy.
We're just too busy for others,and I find it for me for sure.
I notice sometimes, if Ihaven't seen certain girlfriends
of mine, or my mom or my dad,you know, we just get caught up
(07:17):
in the day to day, the go, go,go, and we forget how important
social connection is and howimportant these relationships
are.
I think remaining present withthese people is really important
and avoiding distraction.
I think we are constantly, evenwhen we're out to lunch or
we're having coffee with someone, we're checking our phone, or
(07:37):
our phone sitting on the tableor you know, we're distracted by
what do I have going on?
Next, what happened before?
Right, we're very non-present,and I think just mindfulness and
being present is a whole topicof conversation in and of itself
.
But I think, when it comes tospending time with these
individuals, even if you onlyhave 30 minutes, be in those 30
(08:00):
minutes with that person, right.
Be willing to stay and be therewith that person for the sake
of that connection, because Ithink we underestimate how
valuable that can be and I thinkwe are Constantly being pulled
in a thousand differentdirections.
And, yeah, maybe you do have alot going on and maybe you do,
you know, stress and worry aboutthe meeting you have later in
(08:22):
the day or what so and so saidto you yesterday, or your phone
is blowing up with a millionemails, right.
But think about it in relationto the respect and the
relationship that you have infront of you, right, the respect
for the relationship that youhave in front of you, and it
might take a little bit extraeffort right to to to do this.
(08:42):
It might be harder for some todo this, but I think, ultimately
, if we really want to establishand maintain these
relationships in a way that youknow is long term, that feels
authentic, that's genuine Ithink that this is it were the
world is against us in thatregard, but I think we really
can foster them still so long aswe're conscious of what needs
(09:04):
to, what needs to happen inorder for them to Sustain, for
them to maintain.
And then, I think, lastly, justtake care of yourself, Right?
I think we forget sometimesthat investing in ourselves also
means investing in those aroundus.
It means investing in ourchildren and means in investing
in our children's children bytaking care of yourself in a way
that's both supportive of mindand body.
I think that's one of the bestways to be authentic to the
(09:27):
relationships that you have.
I think that's great.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I think that that last bit that you were just
talking about talks about atopic that doctor that is near
and dear to Dr Whitman and in myheart, which is just loving
kindness loving kindness toourselves and the people that
were around, and and just howthat impacts Everything when it
comes to how that's sofoundational.
So I think that just highlightshow that plays a big role in
(09:55):
emotional wellness, how wemirror that loving kindness back
on ourselves in the form ofself-compassion, self-acceptance
, self-forgiveness, self-love.
I think think those have a bigplace there in our emotional
wellness.
Do you have any other commentson that or any other thoughts
about loving kindness?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Yeah, well, just briefly, I think it is.
It is so unfortunate how hardwe are on ourselves and we don't
have self-compassion, we don'thave self-love, we aren't
forgiving of ourselves, we'renot patient with ourselves on
our journeys, on our wellnessjourneys, on our journey of life
, right, and so you know, whilewe might consider ourselves
(10:35):
Perfectionistic or we want towork hard, I think a lot of it
has to do with the hustleculture and the toxic
productivity and so forth butJust practicing and setting
forth with each day with theintention of cultivating that
self-compassion and self-loveand whatnot it emanates, you
know it really does, you know,impact those around you when
(10:57):
you're able to show that foryourself inwardly.
So I think that that's reallyall I have to say on that, but I
think it's so important, so soincredibly important and, like I
said before, it does make ahuge difference in our
relationships and then, as aresult, our wellness.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Yeah, you know, emily , previously you've kind of
touched on this, but I'd like tojust talk about a little bit
more any particular challengesfaced by particular groups of
people in relation to emotionalwellness, such as Women versus
men, old versus young or othersort of cultural or racial
breakdown of emotional wellness.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Yeah, I think this is definitely not a
one-size-fits-all Issue, like wehad been kind of touching on
throughout this wholeconversation.
When it comes to boys and men,I mean, I had an entire class in
grad school just on counselingfor boys and men because of the
fact that, statisticallyspeaking and in terms of how
(11:49):
mental health issues present andand fake challenges men face
versus challenges women face,it's different, right, and it's
not going to manifest the samein one person versus another.
And it's certainly not going tomanifest the same in terms of
women versus men.
And so I think, when it comesto men, I think there's an under
Acknowledge prevalencedepression and anxiety and men
(12:12):
because men are much less likelyto report Symptoms or or report
struggling or, you know evenfurther, they might even be able
to identify that they'reexperiencing depression or
anxiety or any other mentalhealth concern for that, for
that issue, right.
So I think in men it's it's notthat it's not there.
I think a lot of our researchand all of our statistics are
(12:34):
shown in women and anystatistics that are shown in men
are probably Underrepresented,right.
So definitely, in terms ofmental health concerns, I think
men need much more Support and Ithink boys, young boys, need
that.
Like we had said before, that'sfurther education and support
in in terms of Creating andstrengthening their emotional
(12:57):
intelligence.
I think with racial backgrounds,different racial backgrounds,
like just being a part of agroup, of a minority group, is
Traumatic in and of itself,right.
So it's essentially just thisconcept that you know, being a
black background or being of anAsian descent or whatever the
case is Right.
Being part of a group of aminority, right, that comes with
(13:19):
its own trauma and you knowthese kind of microaggressions
that exist, that are embeddedwithin our country and our
culture and so forth.
That plays a big role in ouremotional wellness right.
And for those who are maybefemale, who are considered, you
know, of a minority group andhaving a different racial
background, also, you know,having multiple identities that
(13:39):
are considered the minority thatjust comes along, that
inherently is Stressful,inherently has its own kind of
traumatic flavor to it becauseof what we're faced, you know,
society-wide.
So that is definitelyinfluential on emotional
wellness.
Socioeconomic status, for sure,Influences emotional wellness
right.
(13:59):
This changes our access, itchanges our ability to To have,
you know, resources when itcomes to emotional wellness.
And then also young versus old,I think that that plays a huge
role as well.
Right, older generations maybehave a different exposure to you
know what it means to beemotionally well the younger
generations.
So, like I said, we're seeingmore suicide, we're seeing more
(14:22):
self-harm.
So, definitely, based on youknow, a Generational shift what
the conversation looks like interms of you know older
generations versus youngergenerations I think is going to
make a big impact on their levelof emotional intelligence level
, emotional wellness as well.
So I think it's it's alldifferent, it's it's varying in
all arenas.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It seems like a lot of people have what I call an
emotional set point.
Some people just sort of popout and they're called the
cucumber.
Others tend to go through lifekind of tightly wound.
Similarly, certain triggers Forone person that same trigger
might be devastating, while theother person just kind of rolls
off their back.
So talk to us about just for amoment, the concept of, say, an
emotional set point, or why somepeople are more sensitive than
(15:08):
others.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Yeah, I think it comes back to the conversation,
like you're saying, about natureversus nurture.
It's centered on our upbringing, it's centered on genetic
components potentially right.
And I think you're able toactually increase your emotional
set point if you are willing todevelop that emotional
resilience that we've kind oftouched on here and there.
(15:31):
If we're willing to put in thework to really identify and
raise our awareness around ourfeelings, we can actually
strengthen that ability torespond differently to certain
issues that might have otherwisebeen more challenging for us to
face.
I think that's beautiful, right, that we're able to actually
shift and change throughneuroplasticity, right Through,
(15:55):
you know, awareness.
One author that I really loveher name's Jensen Sarrow.
She wrote the you Are a Badassbooks, very motivational, and
she says self-awareness is thekey to transformation.
And that's so true, right.
The more that we can identifyand understand our emotions and
really respond to them in a moreconstructive way, the better
equipped we are at responding toemotional situations that maybe
(16:18):
six years ago, eight years ago,10 years ago, would have really
triggered us and caused us alot of distress, whereas now,
yeah, it can still be difficult,it can still be triggering,
right, but how we respond to itcan also change, and the
physiological reaction thattakes place within the body can
also change too.
So I think, while there's anemotional set point that might
(16:38):
be predetermined by geneticmakeup or just by the way that
we're born, I think there's alot of room for growth there as
well.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
So let's kind of talk about what people can do when
they are in that negativeemotional funk state.
First, what are some of the redflags that we really can be on
a lookout for as a friend tothose people or a family worker
or a coworker.
What might indicate thatsomeone's going into a bad, a
(17:09):
negative emotional state thatraised a red flag?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, totally.
So I think, first and foremost,what I would encourage anyone
to do is really authenticallycheck in with the people around
you, right, and even if someoneappears okay, right, quote,
unquote, okay, it still does nothurt and it still does not mean
(17:33):
that someone isn't stillstruggling, right and suffering.
And I think, just askingsomeone, how are you Not the,
how are you, oh, I'm good, howare you Right, the actual
legitimate, how are things Right, talk to me, what's going on
right?
And some might dismiss you,some might still say, oh yeah,
everything's fine, no big dealright.
But I think that can go a longway for someone, because I think
(17:56):
a lot of times, people who arestruggling can put on the facade
, can put on the mask, can puton the I'm okay type of behavior
when in reality, underneath thesurface, they're really not
doing well.
And so I think, first andforemost, that would be my
suggestion is you willing toinvest in the people around you
in that way?
(18:16):
Because it could be anopportunity for them to open up
and ask for help or ask forsupport, and that could really
change their lives Some of themore prominent ways to identify
when things are maybe not soright or maybe dysfunctional in
some capacity, shifts in mood,maybe some extremes of
(18:37):
irritability or anger or sadnessDraw is really big right.
Withdrawing from normalactivities, lacking productivity
or lacking interest in thingsthat maybe someone previously
found interest in Conscious andeating patterns, I think is
really big too.
And then, also considering thatthere's a lot of subtle changes
(18:59):
that could take place, and Ithink that's where this question
of asking someone and checkingin with someone can be really
valuable, because it's notalways noticeable and especially
when we're very caught up inour own day to day, in our own
lives, maybe we're not takingnotice to some of these things,
right, because they're so subtle.
So taking time out of your dayjust to check in what someone
(19:20):
can be really transformationaland really helpful for someone.
And it's not always superobvious when someone might be
struggling.
Sometimes what we see on thesurface isn't so obvious as
being oh, this looks like thisperson's depressed or this
person needs help, right,because a lot of times we just
try to push through and we don'twant to acknowledge that we're
struggling or we're suffering,and sometimes that can progress
(19:42):
to being too late, right.
So definitely just checking inwith someone and then noticing
some of these more prominentsymptoms.
That can happen too.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
There are lots of medications out there, emily,
for anxiety and depression andwhatnot, but we'll leave that
for some other discussion forright now, but to be clear,
there's a time and place formeds, but we're going to focus
more on a holistic approach.
Today, However, on our podcast,as you know, emily, we're all
about trying to lead people withpractical take home solutions,
and so if you could just sort ofsummarize for us some of the
(20:11):
things you would recommend forpeople to help to improve their
emotional wellness, just foreverybody, but also especially
for somebody who might be in adark place- yeah, sure, yes.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I could go on and on about this, because I love to
talk about it, but for the sakeof just offering a few tangible
takeaways, really taking anaudit of your lifestyle
behaviors and looking into how'smy quality of sleep, am I
moving my body in a way that'sconsistent?
(20:41):
What does my relationship withfood look like?
Am I eating real whole foodsand nourishing my body and
making choices that are inalignment with good brain health
?
I like to say, feel for thebody and feel for the mind and
feel for the soul.
So talking about foods that arereally nourishing for the body,
talking about foods that arereally nourishing for the brain
and then feel for the soul, areall the good stuff that we like
(21:02):
to have Thanksgiving, pumpkinpie and ice cream on a summer
day, things like that.
But what does my relationshipwith food look like?
Am I choosing good qualitynutrition, stress management and
self care?
I cannot speak on this enough.
I think really being in tunewith how you feel stress, what
your experience of stress lookslike, nervous system support and
(21:24):
regulation is huge.
So integrating things likebreath work and meditation,
journaling and maybe some ofthese more woo-woo approaches to
health, which can be absolutelytransformational for you if you
can consistently integrate themon a habitual daily basis and
for someone who might be in adark place.
I think it's a challengingplace to be, and I say this
(21:47):
because of the fact that I sawclients who are very depressed
in my work as a therapist.
And for me to tell them eathealthy, right, I'm
oversimplifying it.
Right, for the sake of theexample, eat healthy, move your
body, get the best quality sleep.
For someone who's actually verydepressed, who's lacking
motivation, who feels hopeless,who barely gets out of bed in
(22:09):
the morning, right, it can bereally hard to try and advise
them in this way when they'rebarely eating right, and then
they need to just eat whateverthey may have access to for the
sake of that day.
Right, because they need to eatit.
So, when it comes to someonewho's in a dark place, or maybe
someone who's just gettingstarted, I suggest really
starting small.
(22:29):
Right, taking time to getoutside, even if it means for a
minute to get some sunshine.
Right, that could be one smallthing that you do to get that
exposure.
It helps support a healthycircadian rhythm.
You get a dose of vitamin D,right, you get some fresh air
and it's not a massive changethat you're requiring yourself
to do, but maybe emotionallyyou're just not in a space to do
(22:51):
that and really anyone can dothis.
Like I said, it's definitelyhelpful for somebody who's in a
darker place to implement butfor the sake of getting started,
if it feels overwhelming,taking small, bite-sized pieces
of maybe the larger goal canreally help you implement them a
little bit more consistentlythan through the benefit.
Through the improvement, you'redrawn to do more of it right,
(23:14):
you're motivated to invest in itmore, and that's really what
you want is to build themomentum.
So I think you know if I'mgoing to give tangible
strategies, it's, as I mentionedbefore, around nutrition and
movement.
Getting moving is so important.
I actually founded a nonprofitorganization a few years back
called Move for Mine, and it'sall about movement and mental
(23:36):
health and how we need to be.
You know, moving our bodiesdaily to support mental health
and then you know, incrementallymaking those changes to really
cultivate this daily practicethat's best supportive of your
emotional health and well-being.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Hey, emily, I was out there one day and I was
listening to something on theradio and they're talking about
how just listening to birdsounds produces anxiety.
And so just think about if yougo for a walk, like say, a
gratitude walk Okay, you'reoutside, you're getting sunshine
, fresh air, blue skies,whatever You're in nature,
you're exercising, and you'rehearing bird sounds.
Wow, that's powerful medicine.
(24:11):
Yes, it is Just getting on theside alone.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Okay, goodness, yeah, yeah, yeah, amazing that would
be good medicine for folks.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
yes, yeah, absolutely .
You know your comment about.
You know taking what.
Have you phrased it?
Taking account of your motions?
I think journaling is apowerful tool for that.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Because I think sometimes you know, we go
through our day and we don'treally realize what emotions
we're having.
But if we really stop and wejust write it down, force
ourselves to write it down, andyou can kind of go back and look
at it and stuff like that, butyeah, I think journaling is a
really powerful tool.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
I think journaling is one of the most
transformational because you'regetting to know yourself on the
level that a lot of times wedon't have.
That you know that relationshipwith ourselves, so totally.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Sometimes when you write out those things, you
realize what kind of chatter hasbeen going on inside and you
think I would probably never saythat to someone else, but I'm
saying it to myself.
You know, I think sometimeswhen we're get down, we can have
these repeated loops ofnegative self-talk and limited
belief.
So how can we break those loops, Like you were saying, I think?
(25:18):
What was your statistic earlierabout the percentage of
thoughts that are negative, theones that are subconsciously
also like?
Talk about that and how we canbreak the cycle with those
negative thoughts.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Yeah, yeah.
So 80% of our thoughts arenegative and 90% of them are
repetitive.
So when we really think aboutthat, the vast majority of what
we're thinking a lot of timesare on autopilot, right.
We're not even recognizing themas being problematic, because
they are something that we justcommonly think, whether it's
from our childhood, you know,some sort of belief that
(25:54):
developed over the course of ourchildhood and upbringing and so
forth, or beliefs we'vedeveloped for recently, and
they're mostly negative.
They're mostly negativeself-talk, they're mostly
negative based, right, there'sflavors of negativity to them.
So, when it comes to breakingthe loops and overcoming this
chatter, once again we'retalking about awareness, right.
(26:16):
It's the key to transformingour lives.
It's the key to transformingour mental health and really
tuning into how powerful ourthoughts can be.
And something I do with clientsand something I did as a
therapist was we did somethingcalled a thought log, and now
I've actually been doing asimilar strategy, a similar
activity, with my clients as acoach, just with, you know,
(26:42):
different techniques associatedwith it.
But a thought log isessentially really tuning into
thoughts that are coming up foryou, identifying the emotion
that's resulting from it.
And then what is?
How?
Is that changing your behavior,right?
How is that driving a certainbehavior?
And it's really a verymicroscopic process, which I
think it makes it both easy andchallenging, right?
(27:04):
Because it's like, oh well, allI have to do is just tune into
these thoughts and be aware ofhow they're playing out.
But then it's also, like I said, it's very microscopic, so it
can happen in the blink of aneye and we don't even realize.
I have this negative thoughtabout my ability to make a
lifestyle change.
I had this negative thoughtabout my performance at work and
if we're not really tuning in,we're not going to be able to do
(27:27):
anything about it.
So I think journaling, as wejust mentioned, is one of the
best ways to start to uncoverthat for ourselves.
In, you know, journaling andover the course of several weeks
or several days, and then goingback and noticing patterns and
noticing things that arestanding out to you that are
like wow, this shows up a lot,right, or this concept or this
(27:47):
thought I'm having really makesitself apparent, right?
How am I able to maybe look atthis and then stir to tune into
when that thought comes up, andthen what we know is that we can
respond to it in a way that'smore productive.
We can reframe it.
We can, you know, rewire it alittle so that it's maybe not so
negative, or you know it's it's.
It's all about tuning into thethoughts that are driving the
(28:11):
emotions and driving thebehaviors and replacing them
with something that's moreproductive, maybe more positive.
And it's not to say that youknow you're going from I'm the
worst at my job to I'm the bestat my job.
Right, it's maybe I don'tperform as well as I would like
and I'm getting better right, orand I'm working towards
improving it.
So it's not this kind of youknow, unrealistic way of looking
(28:33):
at your thoughts where you'resuddenly going to say you know,
I'm the greatest person, I doall these things right.
It can be a dialectic whereit's you know, I'm working on it
, or I'm getting better, orwhatever the case may be.
So I think, ultimately, ifwe're looking at maybe a step
one that would be my suggestionand getting started, and then
the process becomes a littlemore organic for you.
But at first it can be a littlewonky because you're not really
(28:56):
taught how to do this right.
So anything new is going tofeel uncomfortable at first.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
You know, one tool I use sometimes is just to, when I
catch myself in a negative loop, I try to come to back to my
breath and try to sort of be inthe present moment when I can,
because we've lived so much ofour lives in the past and the
future, and if you could be inthat present moment and say gee,
right now things are prettygood, and so just try to enjoy
that and be with your breath.
(29:22):
And also, I think sometimesdeveloping mantras can be
helpful.
Sure, like your subconscious isjust telling you this negative
loop, but you can make up apositive mantra that you can,
you know, substitute it with andto keep repeating that phrase,
whether it's something generic.
I used to actually give mypatients mantras based on their
(29:44):
palm, but the general one wouldbe.
You know, like every day andevery way I'm getting better and
better.
I mean, that's just a generalmantra.
If you keep repeating that overand over and over, it can
really improve your process.
But you can have specificmantras based on your loops.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
I just wanted to mention, you know, the author,
louise Hay.
I'm not sure if you're familiarwith her but yeah, so she's big
on that where you know, that'sanother illustration of her
other illustration of themind-body connection, where you
know rewiring and you knowspeaking healing into your body
in that way, I think, is areally powerful tool that you
can implement alongside,obviously, all these other
(30:19):
strategies.
But it just really does furtherhow your thoughts create your
existence.
And if you're continuing to sayI'm always going to be sad or
I'm always going to be anxious,you're really perpetuating that.
And so by you know identifyinga mantra that's more specific to
your circumstances and yourneeds, or like you're saying,
every day I'm getting better andbetter, are we healing every
day?
Whatever the case is reallytuning into that, looking into
(30:40):
the mirror and saying that,repeating it and then kind of
creating that as part of yourmental chatter for lack of a
better word.
Right, you're actually able tomake a huge difference, not only
in your mindset but also inyour physiology and your body.
So I'm glad that you mentionedthat because it's super, super
powerful.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah.
Yeah, emily, I'm really kind ofinterested in technology.
I'm an old guy but I'm tryingto learn new tricks.
But you know there's so manypodcasts and apps and stuff like
that these days on anxiety anddepression, grief, et cetera.
I remember this interview Iheard by this Harvard mental
health professional about an appcalled WESA, w-y-s-a, and it
(31:17):
was really kind of interesting.
It was sort of a mental healthbot friend you could actually,
you know, carry on aconversation with, and this bot
friend would actually get toknow you, and the academicians
from Harvard were really kind ofpositive on it.
And it's kind of interestingfrom a guy who grew up.
Well, most of my life we didn'teven have computers, much less
AI, and now we have these botfriends.
(31:39):
It's really kind of fascinating.
So I'm just kind of interestedin your thoughts on using.
We talked about technology,social media as a negative, but
what about using technology inthis situation to help us with
emotional wellness?
Any thoughts on that?
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Yeah, yeah, I think that you know I'm very grateful
that a lot of these apps andonline resources do exist,
because I think it's reallyexpanding access, which it's
funny because in my ethics classin grad school we talked about
and this was back in maybe 2018,I would say 2018, we talked
(32:19):
about what are the effectsbehind online therapy and we're
like no way, no way, this is notethical, we can't do it, it's
not the same.
And then fast forward, right,two years and what do we do?
Right, we had no choice.
So I think telehealth if we'respeaking just kind of generally,
telehealth is wonderful.
I'm very grateful that itexists and access now has
(32:41):
probably quadrupled, right interms of someone being able to
access help in that way,especially from the comfort of
their own home.
But then other resources that Ifound to be helpful there's the
calm app and the headspace app,which are both meditation,
mindfulness based apps.
So that's really wonderful thatyou know you're able to access
(33:02):
maybe daily meditations ormindfulness practices that you
know can, can be specified tocertain needs, whether it's a
calming or a, you know, antianxiety or whatever.
It is right.
So there's a lot of resourceslike that available now, too.
I know.
There's a lot of journalingapps, too, out there that you
can.
You can access and offer youprompts.
(33:23):
Personally, I prefer handwrittenwhen it comes to journaling.
I think there's a there's alevel of impact that is greater
when it comes to handwrittenjournals, but I like that.
That exists right.
I like that.
That's available For mepersonally.
I am a Peloton rider and I havethe Peloton app and there's
meditations on the app and Ilove that.
(33:43):
So I wanted to be sure.
I said that because I use themeditations on Peloton all the
time, and not only, obviously,the physical activity benefits
that come along there too.
And then there's a lot of appsnow that that offer you mantra
mantras rather.
So I have one that you knowit's called.
The app is called I am, and Iget reminders throughout my day
of just auto auto mantras thatare sent to me that I can, you
(34:07):
know, read and reflect on, andso forth.
So I definitely think there's awide array of resources
available.
Do your research would be mysuggestion in terms of what
you're utilizing and, you know,be willing to kind of shop
around and find what works foryou.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, cool, interesting.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Emily, when a person starts down that slippery slope
towards those more just,predominantly negative emotions
and you get in that negativeloop we were talking about, just
to cycle back to that, how dothey get help?
What are their options?
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, well, I think, first and foremost, I would say
you know, most of us are notgoing to reach for help until
we've hit rock bottom, and so ifanyone's listening and is in a
space that they feel that helpwould be beneficial to them but
maybe they don't feel likethey're at a place yet where you
know they're sick enough orunwell enough or struggling
enough, there's never a wrongtime to reach for help.
(35:03):
You know, I think even thosewho are maybe emotionally in a
good place, right, and just wantto have that level of
maintenance and upkeep, you know, by checking in with the
therapist from week to week orwhatever the case may be, I
think there's a lot of benefitsto that.
But if you're feeling like youare struggling and you need help
, I think, first and foremost,reaching out to someone that you
(35:23):
trust, whether or not they're ahealthcare professional or not,
I think that can be reallyhelpful, just so that there's
someone there that knows you'rehaving a hard time and so I can
check in with you that you feel,you know you have a
relationship with, that you knowyou can confide in.
Maybe they can offer you somesupport or guidance.
But then also just talking toyour healthcare provider right
and seeing what is available andyou know what's around you.
(35:46):
They can also make suggestionson level of care right based on
how you're presenting what yoursymptomology looks like.
For me personally, I'm not apracticing clinician anymore,
but if someone was interested inworking with me, it would be a
lot of.
You know nutrition, exercise,health related strategies to
help promote emotional wellness,so there's plenty of
(36:07):
individuals out there that alsooffer that type of approach,
whether they're holistic or anintegrative.
You know health coach orwhomever right, so there's a lot
of options.
It's just about being willingto to reach out, taking that
first step knowing that you'renot alone in that and then
really finding someone whoaligns with what your needs are
(36:27):
at this moment in time.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
You know, in the back of the old days when people had
something like depression, wejust didn't talk about it, we
swept it under the rug.
It was almost like having a STDor something like you know, a
sexual disorder disease.
It was harsh when it was kind ofshameful to have depression,
but it seems like things arestarting to change for the
better, although we still have aways to go.
So tell us about the importanceof sort of a public mental
health campaign to encourageopen conversations and to foster
(36:53):
a more positive supportingenvironment for people who have
things like depression and todispel some of the myths and
stuff like that to go along withthat.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Yeah, yeah, I just I think, like I said at the
beginning, right, I mean we seecommercials and, you know,
organizations and associationsand efforts and all sorts of
energy put into physical health,right, and we need to be doing
(37:20):
the same and we need to beputting forth the amount of
investment into our emotionalhealth and really opening the
conversation.
And you know we hear a breakthe stick.
You know that's that's kind ofthe tagline associated with
mental health and you know theNational Association of Mental
Health and Mental Illness and soforth, right, but I think
(37:42):
really being willing to putforth the energy into this
epidemic that does exist is theonly way that we're going to
societally dismantle thesestigmas that do exist around
mental health.
And I'm grateful that youshared that about, you know,
depression, kind of beinglikened to an STD, because that
just goes to show that we haveprogressed right, because we
(38:03):
certainly don't have that same,that same shame that's
associated with it.
But it's a willingness to stepforward on an individual level,
on a societal level, to reallystart to normalize the presence
of these issues and then alsocall into question and start to,
you know, discuss preventionand what are we doing that's
(38:23):
causing such a widespreadincrease in depression and
anxiety, and that's a whole, butthe topic for a whole nother
time right, you know, reallyexploring why is this happening,
what can we do about it, andwhere are the resources that are
necessary to help anyone whoneeds it.
I think access is a really bigissue.
There, too, it's a lot of, youknow, a lot of money, and you
know we don't have enoughhealthcare providers to go
(38:44):
around.
So that would be my, that wouldbe my, my encouragement for us
to step forward in a differentway yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
You know there's just so.
This topic is so expansive, Ifeel like we're just kind of
like touching on the tip of theiceberg and there's a lot under
the surface to really explore.
There's so much we could gointo, like the microbiome just,
for instance, and the gut brainconnection, how
neurotransmitters are made therein the gut, how so many of them
are and how that affects mood,and also then just talking about
(39:16):
supplementation and herbs thatcan affect emotional wellness.
But in the interest of timewe'll have to save that
discussion for another time.
In the meantime, emily, arethere any final important pearls
of wisdom that you just reallywant people to take away from
listening today?
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Yeah, yeah, I think you know I really want to
emphasize how important it isfor us to take care of ourselves
every day, in both a physicaland emotional capacity, and we
can do that through the foodsthat we're eating, through the
lifestyles that we're feeding.
And so if I were to suggest toanyone how they can get started
here, it would just be to lookat these components of their day
(39:55):
, their daily habits and, youknow, be willing to address
those if you want to feel betterand improve your quality of
life.
And then also, you know, reallyemphasizing that there is help
for anyone who needs it, right,there is help in all different
capacities, for anyone out therethat needs support in any way,
and I think you know just beingwilling to communicate and step
(40:17):
forward and ask for that help isreally the hardest part, right,
but there's so much availableto us and you know it's
important that you're takingthat time to be honest with
yourself when you do need help,and doing it for the sake of
like we said before, rightInvesting in yourself.
You're doing that for the sakeof your relationships, for the
sake of your workplace, for thesake of your children, your
(40:38):
siblings, your you know parentsand so on.
And you know, it's really aboutnot only taking care of
yourself physically because youwould immediately go to the
doctor if there was an issuewith you physically but also
being willing to take care ofyou emotionally.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
You know one lesson before we wind down on the
podcast, just sort of make thispersonal in a way.
Let me ask the two of you forany particular times in your
lives that you would like toshare with us?
Were emotional challengesplayed a major role in your life
?
And I'll be the first one hereto be involved in this issue.
I'm thinking about a few yearsago, when my mom and dad both
passed away unexpectedly withina few months of each other after
about 65 years of marriage.
(41:14):
The family farm was our homeand it had been our anchor for
all our lives, and so withoutthem it seemed like I was just
sort of a ship without a rudderor an anchor, and I must admit
it kind of shook me up a bit.
It took me a while to kind offind my safe harbor.
Unfortunately, I had awonderful support system that
helped me through it, especiallymy brother, my sister, my
wonderful wife Cheryl, and sothat's sort of my story about.
(41:37):
You know an example of anemotional shipwreck that I got
through.
What about y'all?
Anything comes to mind you'dlike to share?
And, by the way, in the stateand age of HIPAA, you're both
welcome to decline to answer thequestion.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Well, I can go first.
You know I've talked about thison the podcast before, but I
think probably a really lowpoint in my journey so far was
when my husband got sick aboutfive or six years ago and we
didn't know what was going on.
You listeners, you canreference back I don't know the
podcast number, but it's the oneon dysautonomia and that was
(42:10):
just a really hard time.
Honestly, there were pointswhen I thought, well, tyler
might die, and that was reallyhard.
I think a couple of things werereally key in helping us move
forward and I would say, dr Mack, you are one of those key
pieces.
You helped us find solutionsand you reminded us of hope.
Dr Mack, you always had thatpicture in your office of this
(42:34):
black canvas, or maybe a starkgreen, but then it had the
bright words of hope across itand I'm so thankful for the role
you played in our life and thenit's many other patients' lives
, and I think that's a joy thatwe all three get in the
functional medicine field of youknow, when you're digging into
these places, you're digginginto the root causes and you can
(42:54):
really provide hope for people.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
So I think Dr Mack, you're here who can't find it
elsewhere?
By the way, who can't find itelsewhere, what do you mean?
Who have been to other placesand they can't find?
Speaker 3 (43:06):
any hope?
Yes, exactly, they're given.
No, hope.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
But through functional, integrative,
holistic medicine they find hopeRealistically, exactly,
absolutely, absolutely cool.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Yes, absolutely.
And then you know, the otherkey cornerstone of moving
forward out of that time was ourfaith, and God really brought
us through that.
And now, looking back, seeinghow that hardship has provided a
platform, you know you go frompain to purpose and your paid
gives you a story, makes youstronger, and then it gives you
(43:37):
purpose in your life to helpothers.
So that's my point.
What about you, emily?
What's your story?
Speaker 4 (43:45):
Yeah, I think I was trying to think you know, what
experience in life would I feelmost compelled to comment on?
I think, you know, I wentthrough a pretty challenging
time in my mental health,probably one of the first times
I experienced some level ofdepression and anxiety in my
late teens.
I was going through some lifetransitions.
(44:07):
I was, you know, going up tocollege and it wasn't the right
place for me.
So it was just kind of like aculmination of transition that
all happened to happen at thesame time and that was when I
really, you know, started to,you know, recognize the depths
that one can face when it comesto mental illness and mental
(44:28):
health.
And I saw psychiatrists at thispoint in time and, you know, I
definitely look back and Ireflect on how I managed and of
course, at the time I didn'thave the knowledge that I have
now and so I think about thethings I would do.
Right, I was drinking morebecause I was in college.
I was, you know, using food asa coping mechanism.
I wasn't taking care of myselfin the way that I know.
(44:48):
That if I physically was, well,I think it would change a lot
in terms of how I was feelingemotionally, even though I was
going through a transitionalperiod of time, and I'm super
grateful for that experience,not only because it gives me an
experience to now empower others, right, because I've learned
what it's like to be in thosepositions and you know, that's
one of a few different times inmy life where I kind of been
(45:11):
confronted with a similarexperience but really social
support during that time was thebest thing, the best, best
thing.
I am such a talker if you hadn'tnoticed that, especially when
I'm navigating issues, mygirlfriends probably are sick of
me, right, because I just liketo talk about it, I just want to
go over it again and again.
And so it was really during thattime, even though I was in a
(45:33):
dark time, you know, I was notable to turn to people that
cared about me.
I was getting help in some form,to some extent, and you know, I
made my way out of it and Ithink that that gives me the
faith and the hope that, nomatter what I go through, I can
get through it, because thatexperience was so challenging.
But at 18, 19 years old, right,it can often feel like, oh,
(45:55):
this is my life, this is how I'mgoing to live and there's no
hope, and I think that's where alot of people sit and they feel
like they're going to staythere forever.
That's from this experience andfrom others experiencing a
similar time in their life.
There is hope, there issomething coming, there is a
light at the end of the tunnel,even if it's a very dark place
(46:15):
that you're in, and I hope thatyou keep that in mind and
remember that you know howimportant it is for us to hold
on to that, because I thinkthat's where a lot of turmoil
exists, and then things canhappen that we can't undo.
So I just want to share thatthat there's hope and a light,
you know.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Well, thank you both for being vulnerable and sharing
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
And thank you, Dr McMinn, for sharing your story
to the audience and your parents.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
We all have stories.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Yes, and, emily, we're so grateful you could be
on the podcast with us today toshare your knowledge, your
wisdom, your experiences with uson this really important topic.
It was great to get to know youa little bit today and we just
hope to have you back too infuture episodes to talk about
some of those things we justcouldn't get around to.
(47:02):
This ended up being a nice longpodcast for you listeners out
there, so thanks for hanging inwith us.
In the meantime, please tell ourlisteners how they can get in
touch with you or, if they wantto see the resources that you
could provide them, tell usabout that.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
Sure, yeah, absolutely.
Thank you so much for that,lynding.
I can be reached on my website,wwwallwithemilycom, and I also
am very active on social media.
My Instagram is at underscorehole with Emily If anyone wants
to connect with me on there, andI can also share my email, if
(47:39):
that's relevant too, or if youwant to just list that.
If anyone is interested inconnecting or has feedback or
thoughts or questions aboutanything, I'm happy to connect
with you in that way, as well,will you say your website again,
emily?
It's wwwholewithemilycom.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
And we'll have all of Emily's contact information,
the website address, socialmedia platforms, all that stuff
listed on the website.
You'll find that all on myhomepage under the banner
helpful links and that's atwwwmcmdcom, by the way.
That should do it.
Please check out our stuff.
It's really first rate.
I've looked at it myself and itmakes me feel like I need to up
my game because Emily's stuffis so good.
(48:20):
So please check it out.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
You'll also have a brief bio of you, emily, and a
picture of you under our guestbiographies, so that you can get
to know her a bit better aswell.
We'll have some other resourceson the subject of emotional
wellness that Emily recommended,and we'll list for that for you
listeners on our website,wwwmcmdcom.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
And, by the way, just last month we started a blog,
kind of a companion blog, to thepodcast, and it's simply called
Wellness MD Blog and you canalso find that on wwwmcmdcom.
Just look at the headings atthe top of the page and you'll
see one called Wellness MD Blog.
I'll also put a link to thatblog and show those for you as
well.
Speaker 3 (49:02):
Well, that all about do it for this episode of
Wellness Connection MD.
Thank you for joining us.
We hope that we are able toshare something today that was
helpful to you listeners.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
But do take a moment to rate us on iTunes.
These reviews really do make adifference for us.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Thanks so much, emily , for joining us today again,
and it was so much fun to pickyour brain on this important
topic of emotional wellness.
Speaker 4 (49:28):
Thank you so much to both of you.
It has been such a pleasurehaving this conversation.
It's so important, it's soneeded, and I'm hopeful that it
touches your audience in a waythat empowers them and
encourages them to take a lookat their own emotional wellness
and they feel excited to investin it today.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
And now, coach Lindsey, can you leave us with a
final?
Coach Lindsey, pearl of Wisdom.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Thanks, dr Mack.
I'm going to circle back towhat Emily said about taking
that audit Listeners.
Take that audit of your life,look at your habits, look at
what things are serving you andwhat's not serving you, what's
moving in the direction that youwant and what's not, and expand
on the things that are retracton the things that aren't.
And emotional wellness doesn'thappen overnight.
(50:14):
So what I would take then fromyour audit sometimes there's
habits that are keystones, so tospeak, ones that are movers
that in themselves, support moreand more habits.
So think about what could beyour keystone.
Maybe it's exercise, maybe it'sjournaling, but think about
that keystone concept in auditlisteners.
(50:35):
That's my pearl today, dr Mack.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
That's a good one, I think getting to a better place
starts with awareness, right,and that's what the audit will
help you do is to become aware.
You'll find an illustration ofthat on the website on this, one
called the Arch of Wellness.
So anyway, that should do it.
Thank you so much for listening.
This is Dr McMinn.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
And this is Coach Lindsey.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
Take care and be well .
Hello, this is Dr MacMillan and welcome to
Wellness Connection MD.
This episode is part two of aseries on the important topic
emotional wellness.
You might have fabulous bodilyhealth, but you're not optimized
unless you also have emotionalwellness.
These are challenging times welive in these days, so whether
you need to climb out of anemotional hole or you want to
get emotionally optimized, thisis the show for you.
(00:23):
Our special guest today isEmily Huedek, and she will
present to you some practicaltake home solutions to help you
achieve your emotional best.
We hope you enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Welcome to the Wellness Connection MD podcast
with Dr MacMillan and CoachLindsay, where we bring you the
latest up to date, evidencebased information on a wide
variety of health and wellnesstopics, along with practical
take home solutions.
Dr MacMillan is an integratedand functional MD and Lindsey
Matthews is a registered nurseand IIN certified health coach.
(00:55):
Together, our goal is to helpyou optimize your health and
wellness in mind, body andspirit.
To see a list of all of ourpodcasts, visit wwwengendcom and
to stay up to date on thelatest topics, be sure to
subscribe to our podcast on yourfavorite podcast player so that
you'll be notified when futureepisodes come out.
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(01:17):
purposes only and are notintended to diagnose or treat
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Please do not apply any of thisinformation without approval
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And now on to the show with DrMacMillan and Coach Lindsay.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
In this age of advanced technology, how do you
see social media influencingemotional wellness, both
positively and negatively?
It seems to me that the socialmedia platforms are not always
healthy places to hang out,especially for our young kids,
who might not have the filtersto know what's truth, what's not
truth and how to deal with that.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yeah, so I think social media is a blessing and a
curse.
It allows us to remainconnected, it allows us to stay
in touch with family members andfriends and so forth.
And you know that's not to saythat real in person connection
is not more valuable than, say,a connection via the internet.
(02:15):
I think we learned that a lotwith the pandemic and it's
really wonderful that we hadaccess to telehealth and we had
access.
But you know, a lot of researchwas done on social isolation
during that time and you knowsocial distancing and so forth,
and I really don't believe ithas the same effect necessarily
as having in person, you know,connection.
So in one way, we can begrateful that that was, you know
(02:39):
, that was available to us,because I think outcomes would
look very differently if wedidn't have such a powerful
ability to stay in touch withpeople.
And then, on the flip side, Ithink social media is, you know,
negatively influencing us.
This comes from, you know, thefact, that diet, culture and you
(02:59):
know this ideal body image andyou know comparisons and all of
these expectations that thesechildren and adolescents and
teens, and even now as adults,that we have and we place on
ourselves, based on thehighlight reel that we see on
social media, and I think what'sproblematic here is the fact
(03:21):
that I feel very lucky that mygeneration I don't think I was
maybe 17, 18 when social mediareally became more prominent in
my life, right with Instagramand TikTok, wasn't even a thing
right.
But now we're seeing generationsone-year-olds, two-year-olds,
three-year-olds exposed to theseplatforms, so their
(03:46):
understanding of reality isalready skewed before they even
have the words to reallyunderstand what it is that
they're seeing.
Right, and I think that this isso harmful because we have such
a distorted view now of what isreality, what is falsified,
what is, you know, an elaborateillustration of?
(04:07):
You know what the female bodyshould look like, or you know
these routines and theselifestyles that are so over the
top and buying all of the latestand greatest, and you know it's
a very elaborate, veryluxurious and materialistic type
of view, and if we're not ableto see the difference, we can
(04:29):
only imagine how that's going toimpact an individual's
self-esteem, how they seethemselves, their body image and
so forth.
Right, so I think it can beseen in both lights and I wanted
to be sure that I emphasize thepositives of it too, but I
think, negatively speaking.
It's definitely headed more inthat direction.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Well, it circles back to me to just our whole
conversation about emotions ingeneral.
You have bad and good.
Well, you have positive andnegative emotions, just like you
said, and I think the samecould be said with the social
media experience.
So, just like we're talkingabout having emotional
intelligence, I think we almostneed to coin the term like
social media intelligence.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Like just those boundaries and how to create
them and what that looks like.
So I appreciate your insight onthat.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I mean, it seems to me like socialization is an
important aspect in developingemotional wellness.
In the old days we used to stopby spontaneously and visit with
each other and spend qualitytime with friends and neighbors
and family.
Down south we call that frontporch time.
You know people come by andnext thing you know they come up
on the porch and we're chattingand we get out to Ben Joe in
the fiddle we smoke a corn poppipe ram it to back.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Which you truly do play the by the fiddle, dr
McMahon, I do.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You're laughing because you've probably done
that.
You've had that experience Ihave.
It's a good experience.
Right, right, but nowadays itseems like it's almost rude to
even call somebody, have to textthem and say is this an okay
time to talk, right, yeah, sure,much less like stopping by
spontaneously.
But it seems like I don't know.
In this sort of high-paced,fast-paced world we live in, how
(06:05):
can we foster deep, meaningful,authentic relationships with
others?
I mean, that's something that'sreally missing these days.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I think you know we don't havethose experiences like you're
saying right, where you wouldjust stop in.
Or, you know, with morespontaneous, less planned and
like you're saying now it's, Ihave to send a text before I
even make a call.
Why can't I just make the call,right?
Or why can't I just stop in?
And you know, to some extent,I'm sure there's some
(06:32):
relationships that you know thatstill does apply.
But I think when it comes to,you know, fostering these
meaningful, authenticconnections, I think part of it
has to do with, like we justtalked about, staying connected
with someone, right?
I think that that's an obvious,an obvious example of how we
can continue to maintain theserelationships Staying connected,
(06:56):
staying engaged, staying, youknow, in communication with
someone, right?
I think, making time for theseindividuals.
I think that is a big thing.
That's changed as well is we'rejust too busy.
We're just too busy for others,and I find it for me for sure.
I notice sometimes, if Ihaven't seen certain girlfriends
of mine, or my mom or my dad,you know, we just get caught up
(07:17):
in the day to day, the go, go,go, and we forget how important
social connection is and howimportant these relationships
are.
I think remaining present withthese people is really important
and avoiding distraction.
I think we are constantly, evenwhen we're out to lunch or
we're having coffee with someone, we're checking our phone, or
(07:37):
our phone sitting on the tableor you know, we're distracted by
what do I have going on?
Next, what happened before?
Right, we're very non-present,and I think just mindfulness and
being present is a whole topicof conversation in and of itself
.
But I think, when it comes tospending time with these
individuals, even if you onlyhave 30 minutes, be in those 30
(08:00):
minutes with that person, right.
Be willing to stay and be therewith that person for the sake
of that connection, because Ithink we underestimate how
valuable that can be and I thinkwe are Constantly being pulled
in a thousand differentdirections.
And, yeah, maybe you do have alot going on and maybe you do,
you know, stress and worry aboutthe meeting you have later in
(08:22):
the day or what so and so saidto you yesterday, or your phone
is blowing up with a millionemails, right.
But think about it in relationto the respect and the
relationship that you have infront of you, right, the respect
for the relationship that youhave in front of you, and it
might take a little bit extraeffort right to to to do this.
(08:42):
It might be harder for some todo this, but I think, ultimately
, if we really want to establishand maintain these
relationships in a way that youknow is long term, that feels
authentic, that's genuine Ithink that this is it were the
world is against us in thatregard, but I think we really
can foster them still so long aswe're conscious of what needs
(09:04):
to, what needs to happen inorder for them to Sustain, for
them to maintain.
And then, I think, lastly, justtake care of yourself, Right?
I think we forget sometimesthat investing in ourselves also
means investing in those aroundus.
It means investing in ourchildren and means in investing
in our children's children bytaking care of yourself in a way
that's both supportive of mindand body.
I think that's one of the bestways to be authentic to the
(09:27):
relationships that you have.
I think that's great.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I think that that last bit that you were just
talking about talks about atopic that doctor that is near
and dear to Dr Whitman and in myheart, which is just loving
kindness loving kindness toourselves and the people that
were around, and and just howthat impacts Everything when it
comes to how that's sofoundational.
So I think that just highlightshow that plays a big role in
(09:55):
emotional wellness, how wemirror that loving kindness back
on ourselves in the form ofself-compassion, self-acceptance
, self-forgiveness, self-love.
I think think those have a bigplace there in our emotional
wellness.
Do you have any other commentson that or any other thoughts
about loving kindness?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Yeah, well, just briefly, I think it is.
It is so unfortunate how hardwe are on ourselves and we don't
have self-compassion, we don'thave self-love, we aren't
forgiving of ourselves, we'renot patient with ourselves on
our journeys, on our wellnessjourneys, on our journey of life
, right, and so you know, whilewe might consider ourselves
(10:35):
Perfectionistic or we want towork hard, I think a lot of it
has to do with the hustleculture and the toxic
productivity and so forth butJust practicing and setting
forth with each day with theintention of cultivating that
self-compassion and self-loveand whatnot it emanates, you
know it really does, you know,impact those around you when
(10:57):
you're able to show that foryourself inwardly.
So I think that that's reallyall I have to say on that, but I
think it's so important, so soincredibly important and, like I
said before, it does make ahuge difference in our
relationships and then, as aresult, our wellness.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Yeah, you know, emily , previously you've kind of
touched on this, but I'd like tojust talk about a little bit
more any particular challengesfaced by particular groups of
people in relation to emotionalwellness, such as Women versus
men, old versus young or othersort of cultural or racial
breakdown of emotional wellness.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Yeah, I think this is definitely not a
one-size-fits-all Issue, like wehad been kind of touching on
throughout this wholeconversation.
When it comes to boys and men,I mean, I had an entire class in
grad school just on counselingfor boys and men because of the
fact that, statisticallyspeaking and in terms of how
(11:49):
mental health issues present andand fake challenges men face
versus challenges women face,it's different, right, and it's
not going to manifest the samein one person versus another.
And it's certainly not going tomanifest the same in terms of
women versus men.
And so I think, when it comesto men, I think there's an under
Acknowledge prevalencedepression and anxiety and men
(12:12):
because men are much less likelyto report Symptoms or or report
struggling or, you know evenfurther, they might even be able
to identify that they'reexperiencing depression or
anxiety or any other mentalhealth concern for that, for
that issue, right.
So I think in men it's it's notthat it's not there.
I think a lot of our researchand all of our statistics are
(12:34):
shown in women and anystatistics that are shown in men
are probably Underrepresented,right.
So definitely, in terms ofmental health concerns, I think
men need much more Support and Ithink boys, young boys, need
that.
Like we had said before, that'sfurther education and support
in in terms of Creating andstrengthening their emotional
(12:57):
intelligence.
I think with racial backgrounds,different racial backgrounds,
like just being a part of agroup, of a minority group, is
Traumatic in and of itself,right.
So it's essentially just thisconcept that you know, being a
black background or being of anAsian descent or whatever the
case is Right.
Being part of a group of aminority, right, that comes with
(13:19):
its own trauma and you knowthese kind of microaggressions
that exist, that are embeddedwithin our country and our
culture and so forth.
That plays a big role in ouremotional wellness right.
And for those who are maybefemale, who are considered, you
know, of a minority group andhaving a different racial
background, also, you know,having multiple identities that
(13:39):
are considered the minority thatjust comes along, that
inherently is Stressful,inherently has its own kind of
traumatic flavor to it becauseof what we're faced, you know,
society-wide.
So that is definitelyinfluential on emotional
wellness.
Socioeconomic status, for sure,Influences emotional wellness
right.
(13:59):
This changes our access, itchanges our ability to To have,
you know, resources when itcomes to emotional wellness.
And then also young versus old,I think that that plays a huge
role as well.
Right, older generations maybehave a different exposure to you
know what it means to beemotionally well the younger
generations.
So, like I said, we're seeingmore suicide, we're seeing more
(14:22):
self-harm.
So, definitely, based on youknow, a Generational shift what
the conversation looks like interms of you know older
generations versus youngergenerations I think is going to
make a big impact on their levelof emotional intelligence level
, emotional wellness as well.
So I think it's it's alldifferent, it's it's varying in
all arenas.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It seems like a lot of people have what I call an
emotional set point.
Some people just sort of popout and they're called the
cucumber.
Others tend to go through lifekind of tightly wound.
Similarly, certain triggers Forone person that same trigger
might be devastating, while theother person just kind of rolls
off their back.
So talk to us about just for amoment, the concept of, say, an
emotional set point, or why somepeople are more sensitive than
(15:08):
others.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Yeah, I think it comes back to the conversation,
like you're saying, about natureversus nurture.
It's centered on our upbringing, it's centered on genetic
components potentially right.
And I think you're able toactually increase your emotional
set point if you are willing todevelop that emotional
resilience that we've kind oftouched on here and there.
(15:31):
If we're willing to put in thework to really identify and
raise our awareness around ourfeelings, we can actually
strengthen that ability torespond differently to certain
issues that might have otherwisebeen more challenging for us to
face.
I think that's beautiful, right, that we're able to actually
shift and change throughneuroplasticity, right Through,
(15:55):
you know, awareness.
One author that I really loveher name's Jensen Sarrow.
She wrote the you Are a Badassbooks, very motivational, and
she says self-awareness is thekey to transformation.
And that's so true, right.
The more that we can identifyand understand our emotions and
really respond to them in a moreconstructive way, the better
equipped we are at responding toemotional situations that maybe
(16:18):
six years ago, eight years ago,10 years ago, would have really
triggered us and caused us alot of distress, whereas now,
yeah, it can still be difficult,it can still be triggering,
right, but how we respond to itcan also change, and the
physiological reaction thattakes place within the body can
also change too.
So I think, while there's anemotional set point that might
(16:38):
be predetermined by geneticmakeup or just by the way that
we're born, I think there's alot of room for growth there as
well.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
So let's kind of talk about what people can do when
they are in that negativeemotional funk state.
First, what are some of the redflags that we really can be on
a lookout for as a friend tothose people or a family worker
or a coworker.
What might indicate thatsomeone's going into a bad, a
(17:09):
negative emotional state thatraised a red flag?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, totally.
So I think, first and foremost,what I would encourage anyone
to do is really authenticallycheck in with the people around
you, right, and even if someoneappears okay, right, quote,
unquote, okay, it still does nothurt and it still does not mean
(17:33):
that someone isn't stillstruggling, right and suffering.
And I think, just askingsomeone, how are you Not the,
how are you, oh, I'm good, howare you Right, the actual
legitimate, how are things Right, talk to me, what's going on
right?
And some might dismiss you,some might still say, oh yeah,
everything's fine, no big dealright.
But I think that can go a longway for someone, because I think
(17:56):
a lot of times, people who arestruggling can put on the facade
, can put on the mask, can puton the I'm okay type of behavior
when in reality, underneath thesurface, they're really not
doing well.
And so I think, first andforemost, that would be my
suggestion is you willing toinvest in the people around you
in that way?
(18:16):
Because it could be anopportunity for them to open up
and ask for help or ask forsupport, and that could really
change their lives Some of themore prominent ways to identify
when things are maybe not soright or maybe dysfunctional in
some capacity, shifts in mood,maybe some extremes of
(18:37):
irritability or anger or sadnessDraw is really big right.
Withdrawing from normalactivities, lacking productivity
or lacking interest in thingsthat maybe someone previously
found interest in Conscious andeating patterns, I think is
really big too.
And then, also considering thatthere's a lot of subtle changes
(18:59):
that could take place, and Ithink that's where this question
of asking someone and checkingin with someone can be really
valuable, because it's notalways noticeable and especially
when we're very caught up inour own day to day, in our own
lives, maybe we're not takingnotice to some of these things,
right, because they're so subtle.
So taking time out of your dayjust to check in what someone
(19:20):
can be really transformationaland really helpful for someone.
And it's not always superobvious when someone might be
struggling.
Sometimes what we see on thesurface isn't so obvious as
being oh, this looks like thisperson's depressed or this
person needs help, right,because a lot of times we just
try to push through and we don'twant to acknowledge that we're
struggling or we're suffering,and sometimes that can progress
(19:42):
to being too late, right.
So definitely just checking inwith someone and then noticing
some of these more prominentsymptoms.
That can happen too.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
There are lots of medications out there, emily,
for anxiety and depression andwhatnot, but we'll leave that
for some other discussion forright now, but to be clear,
there's a time and place formeds, but we're going to focus
more on a holistic approach.
Today, However, on our podcast,as you know, emily, we're all
about trying to lead people withpractical take home solutions,
and so if you could just sort ofsummarize for us some of the
(20:11):
things you would recommend forpeople to help to improve their
emotional wellness, just foreverybody, but also especially
for somebody who might be in adark place- yeah, sure, yes.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I could go on and on about this, because I love to
talk about it, but for the sakeof just offering a few tangible
takeaways, really taking anaudit of your lifestyle
behaviors and looking into how'smy quality of sleep, am I
moving my body in a way that'sconsistent?
(20:41):
What does my relationship withfood look like?
Am I eating real whole foodsand nourishing my body and
making choices that are inalignment with good brain health
?
I like to say, feel for thebody and feel for the mind and
feel for the soul.
So talking about foods that arereally nourishing for the body,
talking about foods that arereally nourishing for the brain
and then feel for the soul, areall the good stuff that we like
(21:02):
to have Thanksgiving, pumpkinpie and ice cream on a summer
day, things like that.
But what does my relationshipwith food look like?
Am I choosing good qualitynutrition, stress management and
self care?
I cannot speak on this enough.
I think really being in tunewith how you feel stress, what
your experience of stress lookslike, nervous system support and
(21:24):
regulation is huge.
So integrating things likebreath work and meditation,
journaling and maybe some ofthese more woo-woo approaches to
health, which can be absolutelytransformational for you if you
can consistently integrate themon a habitual daily basis and
for someone who might be in adark place.
I think it's a challengingplace to be, and I say this
(21:47):
because of the fact that I sawclients who are very depressed
in my work as a therapist.
And for me to tell them eathealthy, right, I'm
oversimplifying it.
Right, for the sake of theexample, eat healthy, move your
body, get the best quality sleep.
For someone who's actually verydepressed, who's lacking
motivation, who feels hopeless,who barely gets out of bed in
(22:09):
the morning, right, it can bereally hard to try and advise
them in this way when they'rebarely eating right, and then
they need to just eat whateverthey may have access to for the
sake of that day.
Right, because they need to eatit.
So, when it comes to someonewho's in a dark place, or maybe
someone who's just gettingstarted, I suggest really
starting small.
(22:29):
Right, taking time to getoutside, even if it means for a
minute to get some sunshine.
Right, that could be one smallthing that you do to get that
exposure.
It helps support a healthycircadian rhythm.
You get a dose of vitamin D,right, you get some fresh air
and it's not a massive changethat you're requiring yourself
to do, but maybe emotionallyyou're just not in a space to do
(22:51):
that and really anyone can dothis.
Like I said, it's definitelyhelpful for somebody who's in a
darker place to implement butfor the sake of getting started,
if it feels overwhelming,taking small, bite-sized pieces
of maybe the larger goal canreally help you implement them a
little bit more consistentlythan through the benefit.
Through the improvement, you'redrawn to do more of it right,
(23:14):
you're motivated to invest in itmore, and that's really what
you want is to build themomentum.
So I think you know if I'mgoing to give tangible
strategies, it's, as I mentionedbefore, around nutrition and
movement.
Getting moving is so important.
I actually founded a nonprofitorganization a few years back
called Move for Mine, and it'sall about movement and mental
(23:36):
health and how we need to be.
You know, moving our bodiesdaily to support mental health
and then you know, incrementallymaking those changes to really
cultivate this daily practicethat's best supportive of your
emotional health and well-being.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Hey, emily, I was out there one day and I was
listening to something on theradio and they're talking about
how just listening to birdsounds produces anxiety.
And so just think about if yougo for a walk, like say, a
gratitude walk Okay, you'reoutside, you're getting sunshine
, fresh air, blue skies,whatever You're in nature,
you're exercising, and you'rehearing bird sounds.
Wow, that's powerful medicine.
(24:11):
Yes, it is Just getting on theside alone.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Okay, goodness, yeah, yeah, yeah, amazing that would
be good medicine for folks.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
yes, yeah, absolutely .
You know your comment about.
You know taking what.
Have you phrased it?
Taking account of your motions?
I think journaling is apowerful tool for that.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Because I think sometimes you know, we go
through our day and we don'treally realize what emotions
we're having.
But if we really stop and wejust write it down, force
ourselves to write it down, andyou can kind of go back and look
at it and stuff like that, butyeah, I think journaling is a
really powerful tool.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
I think journaling is one of the most
transformational because you'regetting to know yourself on the
level that a lot of times wedon't have.
That you know that relationshipwith ourselves, so totally.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Sometimes when you write out those things, you
realize what kind of chatter hasbeen going on inside and you
think I would probably never saythat to someone else, but I'm
saying it to myself.
You know, I think sometimeswhen we're get down, we can have
these repeated loops ofnegative self-talk and limited
belief.
So how can we break those loops, Like you were saying, I think?
(25:18):
What was your statistic earlierabout the percentage of
thoughts that are negative, theones that are subconsciously
also like?
Talk about that and how we canbreak the cycle with those
negative thoughts.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Yeah, yeah.
So 80% of our thoughts arenegative and 90% of them are
repetitive.
So when we really think aboutthat, the vast majority of what
we're thinking a lot of timesare on autopilot, right.
We're not even recognizing themas being problematic, because
they are something that we justcommonly think, whether it's
from our childhood, you know,some sort of belief that
(25:54):
developed over the course of ourchildhood and upbringing and so
forth, or beliefs we'vedeveloped for recently, and
they're mostly negative.
They're mostly negativeself-talk, they're mostly
negative based, right, there'sflavors of negativity to them.
So, when it comes to breakingthe loops and overcoming this
chatter, once again we'retalking about awareness, right.
(26:16):
It's the key to transformingour lives.
It's the key to transformingour mental health and really
tuning into how powerful ourthoughts can be.
And something I do with clientsand something I did as a
therapist was we did somethingcalled a thought log, and now
I've actually been doing asimilar strategy, a similar
activity, with my clients as acoach, just with, you know,
(26:42):
different techniques associatedwith it.
But a thought log isessentially really tuning into
thoughts that are coming up foryou, identifying the emotion
that's resulting from it.
And then what is?
How?
Is that changing your behavior,right?
How is that driving a certainbehavior?
And it's really a verymicroscopic process, which I
think it makes it both easy andchallenging, right?
(27:04):
Because it's like, oh well, allI have to do is just tune into
these thoughts and be aware ofhow they're playing out.
But then it's also, like I said, it's very microscopic, so it
can happen in the blink of aneye and we don't even realize.
I have this negative thoughtabout my ability to make a
lifestyle change.
I had this negative thoughtabout my performance at work and
if we're not really tuning in,we're not going to be able to do
(27:27):
anything about it.
So I think journaling, as wejust mentioned, is one of the
best ways to start to uncoverthat for ourselves.
In, you know, journaling andover the course of several weeks
or several days, and then goingback and noticing patterns and
noticing things that arestanding out to you that are
like wow, this shows up a lot,right, or this concept or this
(27:47):
thought I'm having really makesitself apparent, right?
How am I able to maybe look atthis and then stir to tune into
when that thought comes up, andthen what we know is that we can
respond to it in a way that'smore productive.
We can reframe it.
We can, you know, rewire it alittle so that it's maybe not so
negative, or you know it's it's.
It's all about tuning into thethoughts that are driving the
(28:11):
emotions and driving thebehaviors and replacing them
with something that's moreproductive, maybe more positive.
And it's not to say that youknow you're going from I'm the
worst at my job to I'm the bestat my job.
Right, it's maybe I don'tperform as well as I would like
and I'm getting better right, orand I'm working towards
improving it.
So it's not this kind of youknow, unrealistic way of looking
(28:33):
at your thoughts where you'resuddenly going to say you know,
I'm the greatest person, I doall these things right.
It can be a dialectic whereit's you know, I'm working on it
, or I'm getting better, orwhatever the case may be.
So I think, ultimately, ifwe're looking at maybe a step
one that would be my suggestionand getting started, and then
the process becomes a littlemore organic for you.
But at first it can be a littlewonky because you're not really
(28:56):
taught how to do this right.
So anything new is going tofeel uncomfortable at first.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
You know, one tool I use sometimes is just to, when I
catch myself in a negative loop, I try to come to back to my
breath and try to sort of be inthe present moment when I can,
because we've lived so much ofour lives in the past and the
future, and if you could be inthat present moment and say gee,
right now things are prettygood, and so just try to enjoy
that and be with your breath.
(29:22):
And also, I think sometimesdeveloping mantras can be
helpful.
Sure, like your subconscious isjust telling you this negative
loop, but you can make up apositive mantra that you can,
you know, substitute it with andto keep repeating that phrase,
whether it's something generic.
I used to actually give mypatients mantras based on their
(29:44):
palm, but the general one wouldbe.
You know, like every day andevery way I'm getting better and
better.
I mean, that's just a generalmantra.
If you keep repeating that overand over and over, it can
really improve your process.
But you can have specificmantras based on your loops.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
I just wanted to mention, you know, the author,
louise Hay.
I'm not sure if you're familiarwith her but yeah, so she's big
on that where you know, that'sanother illustration of her
other illustration of themind-body connection, where you
know rewiring and you knowspeaking healing into your body
in that way, I think, is areally powerful tool that you
can implement alongside,obviously, all these other
(30:19):
strategies.
But it just really does furtherhow your thoughts create your
existence.
And if you're continuing to sayI'm always going to be sad or
I'm always going to be anxious,you're really perpetuating that.
And so by you know identifyinga mantra that's more specific to
your circumstances and yourneeds, or like you're saying,
every day I'm getting better andbetter, are we healing every
day?
Whatever the case is reallytuning into that, looking into
(30:40):
the mirror and saying that,repeating it and then kind of
creating that as part of yourmental chatter for lack of a
better word.
Right, you're actually able tomake a huge difference, not only
in your mindset but also inyour physiology and your body.
So I'm glad that you mentionedthat because it's super, super
powerful.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yeah.
Yeah, emily, I'm really kind ofinterested in technology.
I'm an old guy but I'm tryingto learn new tricks.
But you know there's so manypodcasts and apps and stuff like
that these days on anxiety anddepression, grief, et cetera.
I remember this interview Iheard by this Harvard mental
health professional about an appcalled WESA, w-y-s-a, and it
(31:17):
was really kind of interesting.
It was sort of a mental healthbot friend you could actually,
you know, carry on aconversation with, and this bot
friend would actually get toknow you, and the academicians
from Harvard were really kind ofpositive on it.
And it's kind of interestingfrom a guy who grew up.
Well, most of my life we didn'teven have computers, much less
AI, and now we have these botfriends.
(31:39):
It's really kind of fascinating.
So I'm just kind of interestedin your thoughts on using.
We talked about technology,social media as a negative, but
what about using technology inthis situation to help us with
emotional wellness?
Any thoughts on that?
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Yeah, yeah, I think that you know I'm very grateful
that a lot of these apps andonline resources do exist,
because I think it's reallyexpanding access, which it's
funny because in my ethics classin grad school we talked about
and this was back in maybe 2018,I would say 2018, we talked
(32:19):
about what are the effectsbehind online therapy and we're
like no way, no way, this is notethical, we can't do it, it's
not the same.
And then fast forward, right,two years and what do we do?
Right, we had no choice.
So I think telehealth if we'respeaking just kind of generally,
telehealth is wonderful.
I'm very grateful that itexists and access now has
(32:41):
probably quadrupled, right interms of someone being able to
access help in that way,especially from the comfort of
their own home.
But then other resources that Ifound to be helpful there's the
calm app and the headspace app,which are both meditation,
mindfulness based apps.
So that's really wonderful thatyou know you're able to access
(33:02):
maybe daily meditations ormindfulness practices that you
know can, can be specified tocertain needs, whether it's a
calming or a, you know, antianxiety or whatever.
It is right.
So there's a lot of resourceslike that available now, too.
I know.
There's a lot of journalingapps, too, out there that you
can.
You can access and offer youprompts.
(33:23):
Personally, I prefer handwrittenwhen it comes to journaling.
I think there's a there's alevel of impact that is greater
when it comes to handwrittenjournals, but I like that.
That exists right.
I like that.
That's available For mepersonally.
I am a Peloton rider and I havethe Peloton app and there's
meditations on the app and Ilove that.
(33:43):
So I wanted to be sure.
I said that because I use themeditations on Peloton all the
time, and not only, obviously,the physical activity benefits
that come along there too.
And then there's a lot of appsnow that that offer you mantra
mantras rather.
So I have one that you knowit's called.
The app is called I am, and Iget reminders throughout my day
of just auto auto mantras thatare sent to me that I can, you
(34:07):
know, read and reflect on, andso forth.
So I definitely think there's awide array of resources
available.
Do your research would be mysuggestion in terms of what
you're utilizing and, you know,be willing to kind of shop
around and find what works foryou.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, cool, interesting.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Emily, when a person starts down that slippery slope
towards those more just,predominantly negative emotions
and you get in that negativeloop we were talking about, just
to cycle back to that, how dothey get help?
What are their options?
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, well, I think, first and foremost, I would say
you know, most of us are notgoing to reach for help until
we've hit rock bottom, and so ifanyone's listening and is in a
space that they feel that helpwould be beneficial to them but
maybe they don't feel likethey're at a place yet where you
know they're sick enough orunwell enough or struggling
enough, there's never a wrongtime to reach for help.
(35:03):
You know, I think even thosewho are maybe emotionally in a
good place, right, and just wantto have that level of
maintenance and upkeep, you know, by checking in with the
therapist from week to week orwhatever the case may be, I
think there's a lot of benefitsto that.
But if you're feeling like youare struggling and you need help
, I think, first and foremost,reaching out to someone that you
(35:23):
trust, whether or not they're ahealthcare professional or not,
I think that can be reallyhelpful, just so that there's
someone there that knows you'rehaving a hard time and so I can
check in with you that you feel,you know you have a
relationship with, that you knowyou can confide in.
Maybe they can offer you somesupport or guidance.
But then also just talking toyour healthcare provider right
and seeing what is available andyou know what's around you.
(35:46):
They can also make suggestionson level of care right based on
how you're presenting what yoursymptomology looks like.
For me personally, I'm not apracticing clinician anymore,
but if someone was interested inworking with me, it would be a
lot of.
You know nutrition, exercise,health related strategies to
help promote emotional wellness,so there's plenty of
(36:07):
individuals out there that alsooffer that type of approach,
whether they're holistic or anintegrative.
You know health coach orwhomever right, so there's a lot
of options.
It's just about being willingto to reach out, taking that
first step knowing that you'renot alone in that and then
really finding someone whoaligns with what your needs are
(36:27):
at this moment in time.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
You know, in the back of the old days when people had
something like depression, wejust didn't talk about it, we
swept it under the rug.
It was almost like having a STDor something like you know, a
sexual disorder disease.
It was harsh when it was kind ofshameful to have depression,
but it seems like things arestarting to change for the
better, although we still have aways to go.
So tell us about the importanceof sort of a public mental
health campaign to encourageopen conversations and to foster
(36:53):
a more positive supportingenvironment for people who have
things like depression and todispel some of the myths and
stuff like that to go along withthat.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Yeah, yeah, I just I think, like I said at the
beginning, right, I mean we seecommercials and, you know,
organizations and associationsand efforts and all sorts of
energy put into physical health,right, and we need to be doing
(37:20):
the same and we need to beputting forth the amount of
investment into our emotionalhealth and really opening the
conversation.
And you know we hear a breakthe stick.
You know that's that's kind ofthe tagline associated with
mental health and you know theNational Association of Mental
Health and Mental Illness and soforth, right, but I think
(37:42):
really being willing to putforth the energy into this
epidemic that does exist is theonly way that we're going to
societally dismantle thesestigmas that do exist around
mental health.
And I'm grateful that youshared that about, you know,
depression, kind of beinglikened to an STD, because that
just goes to show that we haveprogressed right, because we
(38:03):
certainly don't have that same,that same shame that's
associated with it.
But it's a willingness to stepforward on an individual level,
on a societal level, to reallystart to normalize the presence
of these issues and then alsocall into question and start to,
you know, discuss preventionand what are we doing that's
(38:23):
causing such a widespreadincrease in depression and
anxiety, and that's a whole, butthe topic for a whole nother
time right, you know, reallyexploring why is this happening,
what can we do about it, andwhere are the resources that are
necessary to help anyone whoneeds it.
I think access is a really bigissue.
There, too, it's a lot of, youknow, a lot of money, and you
know we don't have enoughhealthcare providers to go
(38:44):
around.
So that would be my, that wouldbe my, my encouragement for us
to step forward in a differentway yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
You know there's just so.
This topic is so expansive, Ifeel like we're just kind of
like touching on the tip of theiceberg and there's a lot under
the surface to really explore.
There's so much we could gointo, like the microbiome just,
for instance, and the gut brainconnection, how
neurotransmitters are made therein the gut, how so many of them
are and how that affects mood,and also then just talking about
(39:16):
supplementation and herbs thatcan affect emotional wellness.
But in the interest of timewe'll have to save that
discussion for another time.
In the meantime, emily, arethere any final important pearls
of wisdom that you just reallywant people to take away from
listening today?
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Yeah, yeah, I think you know I really want to
emphasize how important it isfor us to take care of ourselves
every day, in both a physicaland emotional capacity, and we
can do that through the foodsthat we're eating, through the
lifestyles that we're feeding.
And so if I were to suggest toanyone how they can get started
here, it would just be to lookat these components of their day
(39:55):
, their daily habits and, youknow, be willing to address
those if you want to feel betterand improve your quality of
life.
And then also, you know, reallyemphasizing that there is help
for anyone who needs it, right,there is help in all different
capacities, for anyone out therethat needs support in any way,
and I think you know just beingwilling to communicate and step
(40:17):
forward and ask for that help isreally the hardest part, right,
but there's so much availableto us and you know it's
important that you're takingthat time to be honest with
yourself when you do need help,and doing it for the sake of
like we said before, rightInvesting in yourself.
You're doing that for the sakeof your relationships, for the
sake of your workplace, for thesake of your children, your
(40:38):
siblings, your you know parentsand so on.
And you know, it's really aboutnot only taking care of
yourself physically because youwould immediately go to the
doctor if there was an issuewith you physically but also
being willing to take care ofyou emotionally.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
You know one lesson before we wind down on the
podcast, just sort of make thispersonal in a way.
Let me ask the two of you forany particular times in your
lives that you would like toshare with us?
Were emotional challengesplayed a major role in your life
?
And I'll be the first one hereto be involved in this issue.
I'm thinking about a few yearsago, when my mom and dad both
passed away unexpectedly withina few months of each other after
about 65 years of marriage.
(41:14):
The family farm was our homeand it had been our anchor for
all our lives, and so withoutthem it seemed like I was just
sort of a ship without a rudderor an anchor, and I must admit
it kind of shook me up a bit.
It took me a while to kind offind my safe harbor.
Unfortunately, I had awonderful support system that
helped me through it, especiallymy brother, my sister, my
wonderful wife Cheryl, and sothat's sort of my story about.
(41:37):
You know an example of anemotional shipwreck that I got
through.
What about y'all?
Anything comes to mind you'dlike to share?
And, by the way, in the stateand age of HIPAA, you're both
welcome to decline to answer thequestion.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Well, I can go first.
You know I've talked about thison the podcast before, but I
think probably a really lowpoint in my journey so far was
when my husband got sick aboutfive or six years ago and we
didn't know what was going on.
You listeners, you canreference back I don't know the
podcast number, but it's the oneon dysautonomia and that was
(42:10):
just a really hard time.
Honestly, there were pointswhen I thought, well, tyler
might die, and that was reallyhard.
I think a couple of things werereally key in helping us move
forward and I would say, dr Mack, you are one of those key
pieces.
You helped us find solutionsand you reminded us of hope.
Dr Mack, you always had thatpicture in your office of this
(42:34):
black canvas, or maybe a starkgreen, but then it had the
bright words of hope across itand I'm so thankful for the role
you played in our life and thenit's many other patients' lives
, and I think that's a joy thatwe all three get in the
functional medicine field of youknow, when you're digging into
these places, you're digginginto the root causes and you can
(42:54):
really provide hope for people.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
So I think Dr Mack, you're here who can't find it
elsewhere?
By the way, who can't find itelsewhere, what do you mean?
Who have been to other placesand they can't find?
Speaker 3 (43:06):
any hope?
Yes, exactly, they're given.
No, hope.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
But through functional, integrative,
holistic medicine they find hopeRealistically, exactly,
absolutely, absolutely cool.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Yes, absolutely.
And then you know, the otherkey cornerstone of moving
forward out of that time was ourfaith, and God really brought
us through that.
And now, looking back, seeinghow that hardship has provided a
platform, you know you go frompain to purpose and your paid
gives you a story, makes youstronger, and then it gives you
(43:37):
purpose in your life to helpothers.
So that's my point.
What about you, emily?
What's your story?
Speaker 4 (43:45):
Yeah, I think I was trying to think you know, what
experience in life would I feelmost compelled to comment on?
I think, you know, I wentthrough a pretty challenging
time in my mental health,probably one of the first times
I experienced some level ofdepression and anxiety in my
late teens.
I was going through some lifetransitions.
(44:07):
I was, you know, going up tocollege and it wasn't the right
place for me.
So it was just kind of like aculmination of transition that
all happened to happen at thesame time and that was when I
really, you know, started to,you know, recognize the depths
that one can face when it comesto mental illness and mental
(44:28):
health.
And I saw psychiatrists at thispoint in time and, you know, I
definitely look back and Ireflect on how I managed and of
course, at the time I didn'thave the knowledge that I have
now and so I think about thethings I would do.
Right, I was drinking morebecause I was in college.
I was, you know, using food asa coping mechanism.
I wasn't taking care of myselfin the way that I know.
(44:48):
That if I physically was, well,I think it would change a lot
in terms of how I was feelingemotionally, even though I was
going through a transitionalperiod of time, and I'm super
grateful for that experience,not only because it gives me an
experience to now empower others, right, because I've learned
what it's like to be in thosepositions and you know, that's
one of a few different times inmy life where I kind of been
(45:11):
confronted with a similarexperience but really social
support during that time was thebest thing, the best, best
thing.
I am such a talker if you hadn'tnoticed that, especially when
I'm navigating issues, mygirlfriends probably are sick of
me, right, because I just liketo talk about it, I just want to
go over it again and again.
And so it was really during thattime, even though I was in a
(45:33):
dark time, you know, I was notable to turn to people that
cared about me.
I was getting help in some form,to some extent, and you know, I
made my way out of it and Ithink that that gives me the
faith and the hope that, nomatter what I go through, I can
get through it, because thatexperience was so challenging.
But at 18, 19 years old, right,it can often feel like, oh,
(45:55):
this is my life, this is how I'mgoing to live and there's no
hope, and I think that's where alot of people sit and they feel
like they're going to staythere forever.
That's from this experience andfrom others experiencing a
similar time in their life.
There is hope, there issomething coming, there is a
light at the end of the tunnel,even if it's a very dark place
(46:15):
that you're in, and I hope thatyou keep that in mind and
remember that you know howimportant it is for us to hold
on to that, because I thinkthat's where a lot of turmoil
exists, and then things canhappen that we can't undo.
So I just want to share thatthat there's hope and a light,
you know.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Well, thank you both for being vulnerable and sharing
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
And thank you, Dr McMinn, for sharing your story
to the audience and your parents.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
We all have stories.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Yes, and, emily, we're so grateful you could be
on the podcast with us today toshare your knowledge, your
wisdom, your experiences with uson this really important topic.
It was great to get to know youa little bit today and we just
hope to have you back too infuture episodes to talk about
some of those things we justcouldn't get around to.
(47:02):
This ended up being a nice longpodcast for you listeners out
there, so thanks for hanging inwith us.
In the meantime, please tell ourlisteners how they can get in
touch with you or, if they wantto see the resources that you
could provide them, tell usabout that.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
Sure, yeah, absolutely.
Thank you so much for that,lynding.
I can be reached on my website,wwwallwithemilycom, and I also
am very active on social media.
My Instagram is at underscorehole with Emily If anyone wants
to connect with me on there, andI can also share my email, if
(47:39):
that's relevant too, or if youwant to just list that.
If anyone is interested inconnecting or has feedback or
thoughts or questions aboutanything, I'm happy to connect
with you in that way, as well,will you say your website again,
emily?
It's wwwholewithemilycom.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
And we'll have all of Emily's contact information,
the website address, socialmedia platforms, all that stuff
listed on the website.
You'll find that all on myhomepage under the banner
helpful links and that's atwwwmcmdcom, by the way.
That should do it.
Please check out our stuff.
It's really first rate.
I've looked at it myself and itmakes me feel like I need to up
my game because Emily's stuffis so good.
(48:20):
So please check it out.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
You'll also have a brief bio of you, emily, and a
picture of you under our guestbiographies, so that you can get
to know her a bit better aswell.
We'll have some other resourceson the subject of emotional
wellness that Emily recommended,and we'll list for that for you
listeners on our website,wwwmcmdcom.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
And, by the way, just last month we started a blog,
kind of a companion blog, to thepodcast, and it's simply called
Wellness MD Blog and you canalso find that on wwwmcmdcom.
Just look at the headings atthe top of the page and you'll
see one called Wellness MD Blog.
I'll also put a link to thatblog and show those for you as
well.
Speaker 3 (49:02):
Well, that all about do it for this episode of
Wellness Connection MD.
Thank you for joining us.
We hope that we are able toshare something today that was
helpful to you listeners.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
But do take a moment to rate us on iTunes.
These reviews really do make adifference for us.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Thanks so much, emily , for joining us today again,
and it was so much fun to pickyour brain on this important
topic of emotional wellness.
Speaker 4 (49:28):
Thank you so much to both of you.
It has been such a pleasurehaving this conversation.
It's so important, it's soneeded, and I'm hopeful that it
touches your audience in a waythat empowers them and
encourages them to take a lookat their own emotional wellness
and they feel excited to investin it today.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
And now, coach Lindsey, can you leave us with a
final?
Coach Lindsey, pearl of Wisdom.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Thanks, dr Mack.
I'm going to circle back towhat Emily said about taking
that audit Listeners.
Take that audit of your life,look at your habits, look at
what things are serving you andwhat's not serving you, what's
moving in the direction that youwant and what's not, and expand
on the things that are retracton the things that aren't.
And emotional wellness doesn'thappen overnight.
(50:14):
So what I would take then fromyour audit sometimes there's
habits that are keystones, so tospeak, ones that are movers
that in themselves, support moreand more habits.
So think about what could beyour keystone.
Maybe it's exercise, maybe it'sjournaling, but think about
that keystone concept in auditlisteners.
(50:35):
That's my pearl today, dr Mack.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
That's a good one, I think getting to a better place
starts with awareness, right,and that's what the audit will
help you do is to become aware.
You'll find an illustration ofthat on the website on this, one
called the Arch of Wellness.
So anyway, that should do it.
Thank you so much for listening.
This is Dr McMinn.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
And this is Coach Lindsey.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
Take care and be well .
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