Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Will you accept this rose? A production of
I Heart Radio. Oh yeah, I want to get all
up in you tonight. It feels so good. I just
got one finger when you reach your world. Hello, and
(00:40):
welcome to a very sensual Sunday afternoon to my garage
feeling super horny quarantine style. My name is artem Mauren
and speaking of horny, I am looking at a man
who's got nothing to lose. You're sitting in front of
it appears to be a four Your hair I think
(01:01):
might be in a man bun or top not. He's
got great looking headphones on and a neckerchief. Ladies and gentlemen,
you probably don't know him from Still the King. You
definitely know him from I Carly, and you for sure
know him from Jacob Drake and Josh. Ladies and gentlemen.
(01:23):
Rookie of the Year twenty Jerry Trainer. Yes, thank you
very much for having me. I'm not in a man bun.
My hair is not that long. It's in a beanie
which is being masked by the headphones, so I understand
why it looks that way. I have I have a
(01:43):
question about your career, Jerry, Yes you have, but which
came first, I Carly or Drake and Josh Drake and
Josh and how many seasons did you do of that?
I did all in all nine episodes as the character
Crazy Steve, and then we did a Christmas movie. Okay,
(02:06):
people love Crazy Steve. It's a very love Crazy Steve.
There was not that. That's the weird thing about Crazy
Stephen Drinking Josh in general is it wasn't There were
not that many episodes, and yet they it lasted and
people kind of loved it. That's like our friend Steve
Heightener who played Banya on Seinfeld the It's Gold Year Gold.
(02:27):
I think he did like eight episodes, but because he
was on the Soup Nazi episode and it was such
a strong character. I've never been with somebody who gets
recognized more than Steve Heightener for because they still so
you have like the older crowd that watches it, and
then their kids they watch unlike TBS every night like
(02:49):
every they still air it all the time, and so
everybody says It's Gold Year Gold to him everywhere he goes.
It is strange how things like that occur. Now for
some reason, Spencer for my Carly is on these memes yes,
sent them to me. People are sending me memes like
have you seen this? Have you seen Like, yeah, I've
(03:09):
seen it. But it's like a lot of the memes
have to do with the pandemic. So it's like, I'm
this weird face of pandemic means I'm gonna google that.
I need might need Tanna. We might need Tanna to
go find a meme of you for the pandemic. Um
with Us also is a woman who also put a
beanie on, and she's also wearing a bun and a banie.
(03:32):
She's got a great looking house. She is our bachelor
historian guiding us through this ship show Ladies and Gentlemen.
One of my very best friends and favorite humans on Earth,
my friend Laurie. I thought I put on my beanie.
I love your yeah and solidarity. Get that beanie that's
(03:55):
got a cute little tag on it. What is that
that's cute? I don't know? You know? Um, LORI, can
I just say that you've been one of Just getting
to chat with you every week about this has been
one of the highlights of my pandemic. I mean just well,
I feel like we're part of like some weird sport
that we play on the weekends pickup game. In a way,
(04:16):
I hope that we can continue this for a very
long time. And in a way I hope we also
get out of the shelter employees pretty soon one of
one of the two. Well hang away, I feel the same. Well, regardless,
you're a part of the fam, and you can always
you can always zoom in um. Also with us today
(04:36):
is a woman who has in the past rocked a
fringe bikini, been on a boat, worked on her tan,
and wrestled with alligators, ladies and gentlemen and a tann
Hey sorry I've been laughed. There's one really funny Jerry
Trainer memes something please. Also coming at us is all
(05:00):
woman who wants to get her hair cut in her
driveway so badly that she's figured out how to social distance.
Maybe if you had your haircut person use like long
garden shares. You're both in liked keeper outfits, but you
put your hair out at the top, but you still
have like a full face mask and like goggles on,
and then he could come with gloves and like face
masks and then use like long long scissors like Edward
(05:23):
scissor hands. Maybe if you get a haircut. I think
it could work. I really think if we were outside
all messed up, there's no wind, we could get we
could get our hair cut. You know, it could happen.
Oh no, and I just texted us thing breaking news.
According to TMZ, Jerry Trainer was recently hospitalized due to
severe back paintings caused by the burden of carrying the
(05:45):
entire show of I Carly for six seasons. We all
speed recovery. That is Oh my god. Okay, I'm looking
at another one. Oh look at your thing. What's happening.
It's on the text. It's on the text. Jerry, What
was the character you played on Carl the personality of
(06:08):
that the personality? Yeah, well what was your character? He
was Spencer. He was an artist, so he was a
sculptors and he's just whacking do The whole thing is that,
you know, the kids are the smart ones and I'm
the idiot. But he has the heart of gold and
he's when he needs to be responsible. He kind of
comes through question why is this adult hanging out with
(06:30):
kids all the time. He's saying, he's the brother of Carlin. Okay,
I see, I see, he's the caretaker of Carly because
our father is overseas and the navy it and the
mom is never addressed. I love that. So you're not
even worth and it's just like what mom? Who? Yeah,
we see that, we meet the grandfather and then the
in the finale, we meet the father. All good kids
(06:52):
shows exist with no adults. It's just fantasy to get
rid of the kid need no adults. But it was
it resident because it was like, you know, YouTube was
a thing, but this is like pre snapchat, pre all
that stuff, and these kids were starting their own web show.
And so Carly who played Carly Miranda Cosgrove Okay, I
(07:15):
still talk to a lot and you made a friend? Yeah, okay,
wait here and when was it on? We started shooting.
It premiered in September of seven, and then it went
and it's still they still run it. They still. We
stopped shooting in like two eleven. I think it say
is how you guys met John Wick? The photo of
Kenna Reeves and this is how I met John Wick.
(07:38):
I hate that you're doing this so good. So oh
I gotta love this. I love this for you, I
love this for you. Well, colusion, this is this is true.
So here's a question. So I found uninstatiable at first,
Anna is dying? Did she find another one? He's dying?
(08:08):
John Wake or will you put this on our face page?
I'm sorry, sorry why I got paid the little books
I found, like normally on shows I would work with,
like the Kenny Vanyard or like hanging out with you
(08:30):
in Nashville or hanging out with um uh John not
John Farley, Kevin Farley. John. I also know Chris's other brother,
but like I'm used to sort of like my funny
little dingungs. It was interesting doing Insatiable when you're when
you're on like a sexy kids show like Child Like
who was your buddy? Who did you hang with on
(08:51):
that show? Was it hard? I hung with the people
the like producers. That makes sense because the kids would
all go to school and then I just hung with
like the writers and producers and you know, because age.
That's so great, such a delight. I'm such a Jerry
Trainer fan. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, here we go,
(09:13):
and Drake and Josh who played Drake and Josh Drake
was Drake Bell and Josh is Josh Peck. I don't
believe I believe Drake is Drake. That's right, that's right,
and Drake was on there you go. I in my
mind you worked with Drake and then you worked with
(09:37):
um Josh Josh Josh Hamilton. Yes, Josh Hamilton's that's right. Okay, great,
all right, So here we are. We're just gonna go
very quickly through women until all um. All right. First off,
we're catching up with Shawn and Catherine. They've just gotten
back from their honeymoon. She's cut bangs and they were
(09:59):
talking about how couldn't wait to watch their wedding after
their wedding night it was so romantic and they were
basically asking like did you guys get at it in
the fantasy suite? And she said there were quick fireworks
and calling him a two pump chump and just giggled.
I really liked her, like she just she just is
like a little bit of like a little firecracker, and
(10:21):
was like, yeah, that was disappointing. But he was like
a god got her during the honeymoon, but like she
didn't seem to care, but she wasn't gonna let him
own that he was any great lover that day, Laurie,
what did you think of that. Yeah, I mean there's
such an odd pairing and still together, they're still shooting
off those fireworks because they're on baby number three. She's
been pregnant for like four years straight. Why say I
(10:44):
think they're adorable. I mean, they're clearly a perfect pairing.
But she was like the vegan from Seattle and he
was He's like the evangelical Christian from Texas, and so
it was fairly interesting pairing. But it seems like they
are a match made in heaven. I like that he
didn't go for the obvious choice that he was like, no,
(11:06):
I want that one. I want that because she was
like she was like kind of like I recall watching
their wedding, she was like a little saucy you know,
yeah she is. She's fun and sassy and and you know,
the runner up, the second place person was just a complete,
like mindless ding dong, So he really scored on that.
Speaking of ding dongs, his dick got bit by a
(11:27):
sting ray, Yeah, that was the whole thing. Was very
know that your dick could get bit by a sting, right.
I didn't know that. I was like, I'm good last year.
You don't even knew things to be afraid of in
the ocean. Yeah, yeah, when they're like if you're looking
dicky in my mind, like the shark should be the problem.
(11:50):
Like the shark wasn't the problem. Like that sharks are
known to go for the junk, they go right for it.
Is that true? But the sting I went right for
the dick. They're blind, they don't have eyes. They're just
like sucking on whatever's protruding. I said that, who's who's
the zoo guy that got killed? Uh? What, I'm not crocodile?
(12:14):
Thank you, Stephen. Wasn't he killed? Yeah? It went straight
through his heart? He was total Yeah, giants thing right,
it like it literally just it like shot its tailor
and it went through his heart. And wrestling with alligators
and like you know, it was like a one of
the women and just watched the barb went right through
(12:36):
into his cart. Like had it stabbed him somewhere else,
he probably would have survived. It was but just and
he was dead within like seconds that I remember when
I was on Mad TV, I submitted a sketch and
I read it every table, read like nine times, trying
to do an impression of Bendrowin and and uh, that
(12:56):
they never let me do it. Okay, how you gotta
do it? Well, it wasn't even this is your forum.
Well now, like I mean, I can't. I can't even
I would have to like remember, I would rememborize Anna nose.
I cannot do Australian accents right. Well, if you worked
on it a long long time, you could. I mean,
(13:17):
after a while, we slowly get it a little bit,
a little bit. I can't even like like he passed
and she dashed. I can't even remember. It all goes
up in the end. He needs there's like but it
also some vaguely I reached you what I'm talking It
does terrible to Maybe that's why they said, no, I
like it. We're gonna cut it for time. We're okay, right,
(13:38):
So then they have um Miss Piggy and Kermit in
the weirdest cross promo. I love the Muppets. This made
me panic a little bit. Jerry Traynor, what did he?
I just didn't know what was going on. I was like, oh,
this is a commercial for something. Yeah, but we're watching
something from two thou fourteen, so it made no sense. Yeah,
(13:59):
Kermit was like had a Russian accent because it wasn't
Russian version of Kermit Russia's. It felt like so much
longer ago than I felt like. It felt six of
like what is happening here? Yeah, didn't didn't didn't get
it didn't land for us modern people in quarantine? In
(14:21):
what are modern folks in quarantine? I want to say
that um At first, and the women tell all, there
did seem to be a bit of sour grapes, like
of there was a tiny bit of sour grapes of
this is just the deal with the show. He's not
going to wine and die. Twenty eight women, they're like,
I just feel like it was a surface connection, like
(14:44):
he never asked enough questions, And then they were really
threatened by the mom's being the special ones, like why
am I not the like there's people that barely got
any time. But then they went down the line and
except for your girlfriend who you all love named me like,
he didn't seem to ask anyone any questions and so
(15:07):
on the one hand, and then as like you know,
I got to know a little bit more, but it
was like this is this began me really starting to
not turn on one papa a little bit sure who yes,
finally um, got there, um and got their hard style.
The next step in the phone, Yeah, well not there yet,
(15:30):
but they said so then I guess some woman. He
asked where do you see yourself in five years? And
they asked where do you see yourself in three years?
And in my mind, I thought I could be somebody
that's guilty of that. If there's twenty eight people, I
might cross my I might be so overwhelmed that I
might forget that. I asked somebody that question. Let me
ask you this, yes, do you Having watched other seasons
(15:54):
with the women tell all they definitely were like he
didn't seem that did in the process. That seemed to
be their main critique of him, that he was just
kind of a surfacing guy. There was he didn't really
dig with them. They didn't get a chance to dig
with him. He sort of picked his favorites in his quote,
special ones and kind of wrote everyone else off pretty quickly.
(16:17):
Is that not normal? Nor? Usually the women just attack
each other? I would say, I would say this was
the first time maybe maybe on R E season, but
like I felt like, this isn't the time they all
really unified in attacking the actual bachelor that I can
(16:37):
remember Anna do what do you think? Yeah, I mean
from what I remember, this is the most angry the
women have been, Like, I can't think of a single one.
Who else is Brad Womack one point though? Um but
I think I think I think One Pablo is probably
(17:00):
hated the most. Um, I think by both by both
producers and audience. I mean people don't like Ari either, Yeah,
I guess, I mean, I think what the difference with
Ari is that he the audience comes around if he
like he's found love now, like audiences within in a year,
(17:22):
it can become very forgiving, right. Um. Ari almost was
the opposite of One Pablo, where Ari fell in love
with everyone and he told everyone, I'm in love with you,
and so then they're all all of them were blindsided.
And then and then he so he almost felt like
a sex addict that like loved giving the present and
being like like like he thrilled him to tell someone
(17:44):
that he was in love with them, and like you
sort of believe that he believes it in the moment
and then like the next person is like, I'm in
love with you, you know. So he just told every
He literally told all four of the final four that
he was in love with them, and that like he
was a psychopath kind of like in some ways it's
almost more dangerous. One Pablos is a dick. Yeah, I
(18:07):
mean I think that. Um, you know. The the interesting
thing about one Pablo, I think which led him to
being hated by the producers is that he, you know,
in a way, he signed a contract that he's gonna
he's gonna be on a love show and at whatever,
you know, whatever happens is going to be part of
his story. And it's almost like he signed a contract
(18:29):
and he's like, well, on second thought, I mean we're
not going to We're not fully that's more than the
after the final But yes, that's true. I mean he's
he sucks. Yes, So here's I appreciated them bringing up
about Renee that he was using his daughter as an excuse,
and they're like, don't say Camilla in the ocean, Like,
(18:50):
like he didn't say Camilla when he was making out
with her in the ocean. It was only the next
day that he threw Camilla in and that like he
would say that I don't want to kiss you because
you have a son. But then he had no problem
making out with that one cutie pie that had the baby,
but he didn't want to do it with Renee like
that that and that he seemed to when he came out,
Like what's so frustrating about him is he has no accountability.
(19:11):
Like you can say it to him and he's like yeah,
like there's no getting through that. So he never he
never regrets anything. He just goes I'm honest, I'm honest. Yeah,
he has no accountability ever, and he doesn't see why
it's a problem that he made out with that one
(19:32):
cute gal who who's her name again, Mandra Cassandra Cassandra,
but he wouldn't make out with Renee and because of
the kid like that, he just he kept changing the
rules and he was not consistent with his rules. Yes,
and you're right, he gives zero ships. What's so crazy
(19:52):
to me as I was thinking about this as I
was watching, is that you know I would never be
able to, uh, you know, film the series and watch
myself back. I think it would just be so awful
to myself. And you know that Wan Pablo is sitting
eating his popcorn watching himself on the Bachelor, feeling absolutely nothing,
(20:14):
Like he's just like, what's loving Yeah, and there's no introspection, none, nothing.
He what was interesting too, how Charlene, who has not
turned on one Pablo. But she did say about Claire,
she thought about the Camilla thing. After the ocean, she
(20:34):
did call him out on saying that she thought he
had a bit of Buyer's remorse of like hooking up
with her in the ocean, and then he like decided
to use Camilla as an excuse the next day. I
thought Buyer's remorse was a very well phrased thing, Jerry.
I think she was spot on right, Like I think
everything the women in the women tell all we're saying,
(20:57):
it was spot on. It was just correct. They so
then Chris Harrison brings up your girlfriend, Charlene, and they said,
you are the most interesting person we've had on And
she said I knew ultimately he wasn't for me. And
they brought up the fact that she said I wish
I was dumber. Yes, Jerry, when he said that to her,
(21:18):
how do you think that makes the other girls feel
when it's like you're so special, like you're so unique.
I get what they mean, but it feels so demeaning
to the other women that are sitting right there I
thought the same thing. What I thought the same thing,
that I would have felt terrible all season that for
(21:39):
whatever reason, I'm not intriguing like Charlene and even Chris
Harrison being like you're so intriguing, You're so exotic, Like
I think there was something like like the foreign opera singer,
like you're one of the most interesting women we've ever had,
probably the most interesting. Not you, Tam, Yeah, I did.
(22:01):
I agree with you. I thought the same thing. I
thought I would feel like ship here Anna, what did
you think? Uh? Yeah, that was weird, and him being
like in the everyone, the way he like categorized everyone,
like Shylene was the ultimate prize because she was an
opera singer. And I do want to say, I don't
(22:23):
know how much he really did ask her. I think
he mostly was like, can you sing for me? And
that was like, like I didn't see him asking a
ton of questions. They didn't seem to talk about her
what it was like for her live moving to Germany
and if it was hard not speaking the language, and
like he did sort of have those questions. I think
that because he could relate because he came bake the language,
(22:44):
and they I remember them actually having conversations, right, But
that was also maybe they were having that conversation because
it was a way for him to talk about himself, like, oh,
I also experienced that because probably it didn't. I guess
they also talked about kids. But yeah, I don't know,
it is weird, like how he's like the the moms
(23:06):
were special and Charlene was special and I don't know's
he's weird. Um. Andy said she could have fallen in love. Um.
And then she said when the doors closed and they left,
that she had fun for a little while. They talked
and they laughed. Um. They talked about his soccer and
his traveling, and then it was him starting to like
(23:28):
name drop and who he knew. And then it just
became negativity about the whole bachelor process, that he wasn't
grateful for the opportunity. He thinks he was a great
bachelor and um. And and then she thought it was
incredibly tacky that he brought up the overnight with Clara,
that she thought it was infen she wished she had
told him in the moment that it was offensive. I
(23:49):
think she was so stunned that she didn't and she
just wanted it to be done, so she pretended to
be asleep, and Chris Harrison is like, um, you know,
boy who hasn't pretended to fake sleep? And then she
said her telling him like him telling her about the
overnight with Claire made her feel cheap, and then him
to saying it's okay, it's okay under the guise of honesty.
(24:12):
She you know, Um, I think that was a real
eye opener. Laurie, what did you think about him being
ungrateful for the opportunity of being the bachelor? Well, I mean,
I think in a way it's kind of true. You know,
he is he wants all the benefits but none of
the criticism. But the criticism doesn't even matter because he's
(24:34):
not gonna he's not going to digest. He doesn't so
but but he he harbors the pettiness of being criticized,
but ultimately he doesn't he doesn't care. Yes, Um, I
actually liked Andy more at the Women Tell All, And
(24:56):
I felt like, you know, because she would sort of
defend him st you could see the side of her
that was a good prosecutor, you know, like, okay to
be fair, blah blah blah. But there was signs of
her that I started to like more during that, Jerry,
how did you feel about Andy? I thought all of
the women were had incredible poise and restraint to not
(25:21):
just unload on this guy. And I think I can't
remember her name. She starts crying. Later and the women
tell all about the pervert comment that he makes the
dog lover. The dog lover was there, Katie Casey, Kessi, Kelly,
Kelly Um. I think that's where the sort of the
gloves came off. But up until then, they're pretty diplomatic
(25:44):
for someone that I feel like they very easily could
have unleashed on. That was an interesting moment because they
brought up and then and again this is because we're
watching it now, and so we didn't know if if
it had been we were watching it, we would know
all about him, you know, making these comments about gays
being perverts and stuff. And she was like, tell me
(26:07):
what that what's that mean? In Spanish translated like oh god,
I know because she was. He was like, no, I
was taking out of context. English is my second language,
and yeah, and then she's like, okay, well then say
to me in Spanish and he was like, I'll tell
you privately. It's privateer and she's like, my parents are gay,
and like, you know, I need it's very hurtful to me,
(26:28):
and he's like, I love gay people stopped talking on
He's like, I'm not gonna waste four minutes here trying
to explain. I'll give you, I'll give you an hour
off camera, and it's just like, dude, you don't know
how this show works. And he had no remorse. He wasn't.
He would just out of context okay's and when he
used that my friends are gay, some of my best friends.
(26:50):
What contacts could make it okay rather than just saying well,
And that's the whole problem. That's that sort of gets
to the core of the problem of One Pablo, which
is he uses these he uses his language as a barrier,
and his daughter as a barrier, and being a parent
as a wall, as a barrier, as the shields. And
(27:12):
we've gotten to the end of the journey and we've
realized there's nothing deeper. It isn't the language barrier, it
isn't that he's a parent. He's just kind of he's
a deuce. There's just nothing more to him. And we'll
get he's a soccer player and on the next episode,
(27:34):
we won't do it. But now like even his parents
and family knows that he he stopped, so we'll get
to that. Join us next week we write down the
finale where all of a sudden, I will see a
preview of my episode for next week. I was I
felt like, I'll just speak for myself. Watching all of
this back, I hadn't minded Bob Pablo. I didn't like
(27:56):
how he treated Claire in the ocean, but um, overall
I found him at least to be kind of fun,
a little bit charming. Um, And I was like, Wow,
was America just being completely xenophobic because he was foreign? Like?
And it turns out, you know, he sucks, like he
is such a douche. And I'm sorry that I doubted you, America.
(28:19):
I get it. You were right I did with whole
judgment to the end, and you are completely right. He
you speak for me too. We're sorry, America, so sorry
that we doubted you American. Jerry, where can we find
you on on your on your gifts or your means? Yes,
(28:44):
just google Spencer I Carly Memes for all your laugh needs. Otherwise,
I'll be at Jerry Traynor on Instagram and Twitter, Um Laurie,
people can't find you, but they can send us appreciation
about you to Rose Podcasts at gm L dot com
because we love you. We know that they love you. Tanna,
(29:05):
where can people find you? I'm at Anna host on
Twitter and I'll spend the rest of my time looking
at Jerry Trainer Spencer. We have our Padreon if you guys,
if you're like I am so depressed and I need
a laugh and you want some escape, come join us
on Patreon. We're doing Bachelor Australia, Bachelor in Paradise Australia.
(29:26):
Love is Blind and we're gonna put a pole. We're
gonna narrow down to three shows and put a pole
on our Facebook, my Instagram, Twitter. We're gonna find out
what you guys. We are open to watching whatever you
want us to watch next. Jason Mesnick. Vote for Jason Mesnick. Okay? Great?
Katie Levine, I'm Katie Underscore Money on Twitter and Instagram
(29:47):
and make sure you shop small businesses and restaurants in
your hotels. I'm at art Marine on Instagram. A R
D E N M Y R I N. Please preorder
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Like what Katie just said, but send us the receipt.
(30:08):
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That's all coming up. Stay safe. You guys were proper
mouth coverings, masks and don't like telephone poles. Goodbye. Oh yeah,
(30:29):
it all so. I'm just gonna want to push girl
where you reach your word, you work, h Will you
(31:03):
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