ATTENTION! POOL RULES!
- Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15.
- Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool.
- This is a “Body Shame Free” zone. You must keep your eyes closed at all times.
- Chairs may only be saved with a passport, $50 bill, or a signed photo of Burt Reynolds.
- Towels available for a small fee—ask the Towel Troll for details.
- Water in the pool is a privilege, not a right!
- Just going to be honest here about going #1 and #2: going #1 is way less of a big deal than you think. Going #2 is way more of a big deal than you think.
- Do NOT talk to Randy about 9/11.
- NO CANADIANS
Also: what’s your theme song; Adam the lion; cloggin’ a drain; seeing yourself in a mirror; grits etc.; Burt Reynolds; peeing on Car 17; splashing is not drowning; pool chairs for everyone bro; browsing TV Guide; Robin Hood of chaises; an original Playstation; The Meerkats and the Laundry Bag; nipples in a crawlspace; ask Quora; the sausage sweats.
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It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
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