January 19, 2024 • 50 mins
It gets real as we delve into a raw discussion on colorism and beauty standards within the black community. From the sting of backhanded compliments to the weight of 'good hair' expectations, we lay bare the personal stories that have shaped our understanding of self-worth.
Then we switch it up with a spirited exchange about the rise of charcuterie boards and muscle car enthusiasts' peculiar road antics. Don't miss out as we also shine a light on Amy Smith, a local realtor, making a splash in Charlotte and Fort Mill. Find Amy on Facebook at Amy Smith Dupree and on Instagram at @asmith_hereforhousing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'm Yola Gilliam.
I'm your girl, Lene Johnson,AKA Leni.
If you've been serious on myother friends, that call me Leni
.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Yo, what's going on?
Oh yeah, I have trouble keepingup with the days of the week.
I don't know what day of theweek it is, Um, but I'm day, I'm
day.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Oh it is, so I'm going to be going to the.
I'm day.
I'm day, oh it is, so it's beenan event for week.
We had um both of the boys athome.
We've been hanging out watchingmovies.
It's been rainy, we hadChristmas, so we wore pajamas
(00:43):
for two days straight, which isthe highlight.
You know, I like to be comfycozy.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah.
What you been up to we'reabsolutely nothing, just trying
to get things ready for theplays, and I have guests coming
in this week for new year's tostay.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Oh, that'll be fun.
How many guests do you havecoming, oh?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
just two no that's not too many, no, just two.
It just, you know, for rental,that's all.
Oh, okay, yeah, just for rental.
So I have to get the placeready and so that's what I've
been doing, nothing, justchilling and trying to clean and
just be out by the time theyget here.
So that's it.
Just like you, comfy and cozy,and you know same thing, my
(01:33):
onesie.
You know, I love a good onesie.
I love a good onesie.
What movies were you watching?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Oh my goodness.
So I decided that I wanted tocatch up on some things and
watch stuff with, like, tiaMaury in it for some strange
reason.
So I did a lot of that.
She's got.
She's been on the Lifetimemaking holiday movies, so I
watched several of those.
(02:01):
Tatiana Ali has several too, soI kind of got in that zone
where I was just watching a lotof stuff with black folks in it.
I do like black folks atChristmas and you know Kelly
Rowland has a series, themarried little Christmas series.
So I watched all three of thoseMostly.
(02:22):
And we, like, I said Warpedpajamas and we ate, and ate, and
ate.
Eric makes all the good food,and so he had a sit up nicely
for Christmas dinner, and sowe've been eating on that for a
couple of days.
What did you have?
Oh, he made he fried a turkey.
It was a hot honey fried turkey.
(02:45):
Oh, he made a ham, mac andcheese, some green beans, some
dressing, a couple of cakes I'mmissing a couple of tea.
He goes all out.
Dressing, not stuffing.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Not stuffing.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It was not in the bird, it was on its own, uh-huh.
Oh, he also made some gum bug.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Hmm, as you know, people or some of them may or
may not know Eric, her husband,is a deaf.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
He is, he is, and we take full advantage of that we
enjoy that aspect of his life.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, yeah, did you say hot honey turkey?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yes, hot honey, deep fried turkey Well that sounds
good.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That sounds so good, but I can't eat turkey.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Really why I have gout.
I do too.
That is a weird thing to havein common, so I have to eat it
in moderation.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, and like I know if I'm going to eat it which I
don't eat it that much at all Imake sure I have my cherry juice
because it will set it off.
And so I know when I drinkcherry juice it kind of like, uh
, I won't have an episode, but Ijust try to just really limit
my gout intake.
(04:08):
But that's very weird that, um,that we're so young and we get
it.
I remember my first filletrough they said usually old
women get it.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I know my great-grandma was like 90s had
it, but yeah, I actually have aprescription for it.
What do you take?
It begins with an I.
I can't remember the whole nameI endow something.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, my dad used to take that and he no longer takes
that anymore.
He takes one that starts withan A, but my cousin has it and
usually either men or old womenget it.
So, wow, I didn't know you hadgout as well.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, I found out because I thought I was dying,
my foot was going to fall off,and I went to the emergency room
and they were useless.
But then I went to my owndoctor and she walked me through
some things and I learned thatsome of my like my favorite
foods, like the spinach and thebrussel sprouts and things like
(05:07):
that that I eat a lot oh yeah,exacerbating it.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, yeah, oh wow.
I too found out some years ago.
I was still living in Atlantaand on Sunday I remember it was
that Sunday I had made turkeynecks and because I love a good
turkey neck girl.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
That is an old woman thing.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh, turkey necks.
Oh, my God, it's so good.
Um, I had for breakfast I hadlike bacon and grits and
something I think.
For dinner I had like turkeynecks.
I think I had mac and cheeseand you can't remember what else
.
But that day it felt like I hadstuck my toe and I kept thinking
why did I have to stuck my toe?
(05:53):
Um, and then around, I had tosay it was around like maybe two
o'clock in the morning I wentto use the bathroom and I had to
walk on the side of my foot.
That's how bad it was hurting.
I didn't know what was going on.
By six o'clock, when I used thebathroom again, I literally was
crawling, literally was crawlingto the bathroom and went to the
urgent care and he thoughtbecause I had had um bunion
(06:15):
surgery when I was in highschool, he thought it was
because there was a screw stillin my foot.
So he made a appointment to gofor me to go to the orthopedic
surgeon and I had told my daddy.
He was like it sounds like goutand I'm like in and gout.
He was like mm.
Okay, because I remember havingmy cell in vain on it.
My foot was.
It was first of all was soswollen and the mirror air from
the ceiling van and the flatsheet it just so when I went in
(06:38):
and not have the sheets on youhave got to.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Just the foot needs to be exposed.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Touching it, the absolute worst.
So by the time I got to theorthopedic surgeon I literally
was crawling and they had tocome get me with the wheelchair.
And so the doctor comes in.
He said tell me what you ateyesterday.
And I told him he said do youhave a history of gout?
I just chuckled Because my dadhad just told me, like a few
(07:04):
hours ago, he thought it wasgout and that's when I found out
that I had it.
And he said you know, you maynot have another flare-up for
another month, another year, twoyears.
He's like this will probablylast for about a week, and after
that it was as if there's nosign of it.
So I just have to be, we haveto be cognizant of what we can.
And I don't know.
For me it's turkey, so I try tolimit that.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Mind the spinach Beef .
And well, see, I would like myfavorite meal is like a rib eye
with spinach and mushrooms andBrussels sprouts, which all can
exacerbate gout, which I did notknow, and so, but I do like I
would throw for lunch.
I'd throw a leg of spinach anda ball with some shrimp, or I'd
be like, oh, I'll just makethese Brussels sprouts before
(07:49):
they go back, and so I eatBrussels sprouts and spinach
like two, three times a weekeach.
Thank you, and I learned thatwhen I was looking at the list
of foods that I need it to bemindful of, you know, because we
all know the beef and thosekinds of things.
Yeah, but I was not expectingall of my favorite vegetables to
be on the list.
You have to be mindful of that.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, that's, that's great Like for my dad, I think
he he loves sardines.
I love sardines too, but hecan't have that.
And you know, of course theysay pork and shellfish will do
it.
And I have noticed that I'mgoing to have to start doing a
food diary because I havenoticed that certain things that
I eat, it will almost feel likeI have stumped my toe, like the
(08:34):
first time I had a flare up.
Yeah, I never know what it is,because I'm not writing things
down and I'm like, please, Lord,don't let it be seafood,
because if I have to give upseafood, that is going to be a
sad day.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
A very sad day.
I think you have to do it inmoderation, like you can't have
it all the time, but if you doit in moderation, you should be
fine and have to keep thatcherry juice on deck because I'm
like first turkey, now see Lord.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
So but you know, tatiana Ali has a cute little
movie with Pamela Belle.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Cornelia Smith.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
No, he plays the handsome guy who plays all state
guy.
What's his name?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Dennis Hayesburg in Cornelia Smith yes, yes, yes.
The one when her sister passesaway and she goes, yes.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Oh my God, that was that.
That's a cute little movie that.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I have seen that one, and I watched that one this
year too.
Yeah, that was a good one.
So you're real, are you right?
That's not the one she doeswith Cornelia.
So the one she does withCornelia Smith, he should not
pull in, plays her sister inthat one and tip his blood, so
isn't.
So that's jingle bells.
But the one that you're talkingabout I think maybe it's Andre
(09:55):
would feel that.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, he is in that one.
Yes, he's in the movie.
Yes, yes, that one is.
He's been around a long timebecause, remember, he played
Robert.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
That's how I think of him.
When I see him, I think Robert.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Oh my God, classic that he has.
He has been around.
Wow, you, when you start reallydigging you see, these actors
and actresses have been around along time, a long, long time.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
But yeah, it's funny because people always make them
out to seem like they're justovernight successes and I was
like they've been grinding for awhile for a while.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And you know what?
There was a guy up till mymother who just passed.
Forget his name, hispanic actor.
He's such a good actor as well,but I know he played I think
he's his original.
He starred in originally on, Ithink, days of our life.
(10:55):
I didn't realize he played onthat, but I know he was in law
and order.
Forget his name, I'll get backto you on that one.
But he passed away and he wassuch a good actress.
I mean, excuse me, actor.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, actor, I'll send it toyou.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Because you like to play in law and order and I was
like I know she's on my BenjaminBrett.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
No, no, and you know I realized that a lot of you
know people don't realize that alot of actors have been in law
and order in actresses.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Everybody Like I think, anybody who is acting has
been on an episode of law andorder or an episode of the West
Wing.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
My goodness, they really, really have.
I literally just sent it to you.
It is being delivered to you aswe speak.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Do you remember him?
You keep saying as we speak Ijust got it, I know I don't know
him.
I think I know him.
I sure as heck don't know himfrom days of our lives or
whatnot.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I wouldn't like to live.
It, says one like the one, likehis name is Pamara Day Los
Reyes.
Well, I guess the soul so young, 56.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Condolences to his family and love.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I know but yeah, but I'm glad that you were able to
spend time with your family.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I did.
I have teenagers, so spend likewe watched.
I guess we watched a couplethings together.
We watched me and the youngestone, he's 15.
We watched two versions of theGrinch, like the original one,
and then the most recent one.
I don't do that, jim Carrey one, and then I mean the older one
ended up watching the EddieMurphy candy cane Lane, which
(12:57):
was cute.
It's a new one, right?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, it's new this year, because I think that I saw
some advertisements for that.
Is that on prime?
It is it is.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You can't tell.
Quality time is my lovelanguage, so anybody who spends
time and hangs out with me yeah,it makes me warm and fuzzy.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Well, so what do we have this week?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
What you got us about to talk about is I'm always
nervous at this point, Just like.
Well, we're about to talk aboutnow.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
This week I thought we were talking about because my
cousin and I had a conversationand we were talking about Hair
and color.
There was a situation we weretalking about and that she said
(13:57):
that a gentleman walked up toher friend and said you know,
you are so pretty to be darkskin.
And I said what did she say?
What Did she get offended?
And I think she just kind ofwas like whatever and just kind
(14:17):
of like moved on and I said wow,so we got into the.
You know, when you starttalking about something that
snowballs into you knowdifferent things.
And then we started talkingabout good hair and quote
unquote what that means and thatyou know it just kind of Hate
(14:39):
that term.
So I said you know what thiswill be so good to talk about on
the podcast.
So have you ever?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
The audacity to say I mean, I guess over these I've
been told I was pretty for blackgirls, pretty for a big girl.
I don't know what the qualifiesfor you either, or you aren't
to somebody like you can justsay to somebody I think you're
pretty and leave it at that.
Yeah, you don't need to qualifythat as this thing that you
(15:09):
evidently don't usually find tobe attractive, that they have
some kind of way Exceeded yourexpectations and you feel like
they should know it in that way.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I agree, I agree, I have had that happen to me a lot
.
Actually, you know, you are sopretty, you're so cute to be a
dark skin, to be dark skinReally, I mean and I find that
obviously the only people thatsay that For people in our race.
(15:45):
I've never had anybody inanother race say that.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
No, I think you're just be pretty as a black girl.
Yeah, or just you're justpretty.
No, I've never had Well, I'vehad only one.
And I have actually dated somefolks outside of my race and I
still, which is why I wouldn'tdate them long With that whole
pretty as a black girl say for ablack girl thing.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
They said that yes.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Really, this is like people.
They think it is a compliment,but they, what they are telling
you is that this is my standardof beauty and some kind of way.
You are an exception to thatand I need to let you know that
you are an exception to the rule.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Well, now you're, so I just want to make sure that
I'm here.
You correctly You're sayingsomeone said that you were pre
to be a black girl.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yes, white men have said that.
Wow, Let me say black men mightsay you were pretty to be dark
skinned.
But white men will say or not?
Black men will say you arepretty for a black girl.
I had it said to me.
I've had friends who had itsaid to them.
Like I said to me, it justmeans that they have a, in their
(17:05):
mind, a particular standard ofbeauty.
They feel like you are anexception to that and, instead
of just letting you know thatthey find you to be attractive
or pretty, they want you to knowthat, hey, this is my normal
standard, but I have singled youout as an exception to that and
you should feel good aboutyourself.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
And that is not okay, people.
Okay for anyone to say that toanyone period, that is just a
news flash.
You don't say that, don'tunderstand where people get off
thinking that they can just saycrazy stuff like that, like
(17:49):
you're just pretty period.
Not for a black girl, not for awhite girl, not for Hispanic
Asian Indian.
You're pretty, period, end ofstory.
But I don't think that peoplereally see how offensive that
could be.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
But I don't know that it happens to not black women.
I think that black women arethe ones who get the qualifiers
Like you're not.
They always want to let youknow that you would not normally
be seen as this, so peoplethink it is a compliment.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
That ordinarily you, your race of people as a group
for females, are not.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
That's what I think.
I think they don't think as awhole.
Black women are beautiful.
So if they are going to tellyou that you are beautiful, they
want you to know that this isin addition to what the regular
standard is.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
But the standard is not beautiful, is not pretty or
beautiful for black as a cultureI don't think that black women
are considered.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Well, we know that black women are not the,
absolutely not, no.
And then it becomes you.
You said yourself like itbecomes.
Then the colorism enters thechat with the.
You're pretty for dark skingirl.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, because they don't look at dark skin to be
pretty.
No, they don't, or they'll saywas she, was she, was she
caramel or caramel, or was she?
You know, that's what they'llsay, which leads me into this.
So did you see the reel that Isent to you from YouTube?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yes, out the hair.
That pissed me off.
So not only are we not pretty,but we've all had it too.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah.
So let's give some context tothe people who didn't see it,
because we'll post it, because Ithought it was really good.
Hopefully we can post it.
So, anyway, the girl comes onand I'm pretty girl, darker skin
girl, chocolate girl, and soshe says she has long, real long
hair and it's gorgeous too, bythe way.
And the comment was when I looklike this, he had perm here.
(20:15):
He said no one questioned me,no one ever came up to me and
asked me what was I mixed?
She said but she is now naturaland her hair, she has her
natural Toil curly hair, meaningunprocessed, it's not permed,
it's just natural.
(20:35):
And it's long as to her waist.
And she said now that she now,because her hair is long and has
her natural curl, she gets allthe time what are you mixed with
?
As if back women get not growhair.
And she said that is very, veryoffensive.
I said that's just.
(20:58):
I don't know.
I just I just saw her to whereI thought the hair was beautiful
.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Her hair was beautiful.
It, like you said, it had hernatural curl pattern.
It was very, it was very long.
It is long hair for anybody.
It's not just long hair forblack women, it is long hair for
anybody.
It's to her waist, yes, it wasto her waist, yes, and she has
(21:23):
features that would beconsidered African features.
Like she looks like a blackperson and, like she said, she
was never questioned about herracial makeup or ethnicity prior
to wearing her hair this way.
When she just wore, you know,shoulder length relaxed.
But because it is very long andher curl pattern is phenomenal,
(21:48):
folks automatically havedecided that there has to be
something contributing to that,aside from just the hair growing
out of the scalp of this blackwoman.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
That she has to be miss.
She can't just be black, Ithink.
I think I hope I'm notmisquoted but I think she said
they asked her she mixed withIndian.
Yes, I think that's what shesaid.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And so you know what I find interesting about that Do
you have Indian in your family?
I'm using my quote fingers.
You've heard that about peoplewith yeah, with their good hair.
But I will say this I haveoften heard that from black
people that is not even otherraces or ethnicities asking that
question.
So I'm assuming, like when sheis saying people are asking this
(22:34):
question, it is not just likewe want to jump to the
conclusion that is just whitefolks or non black people.
But I, when she said that part,my assumption was these are
also black people asking herwhen they're like you got Indian
in your family because you gotgood hair.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It's just you know what it reminds me of, but I'm
sure you haven't heard this, butit's this bit on outcast song,
and everybody knows I loveoutcast, and so it's a bit on
there that says she says the guysays oh my God, your hair is so
(23:21):
beautiful.
And he says she said well, youknow, I got Indian in my family.
It's hilarious, I literallythought about this.
And he said, girl, that ain'tno good hair, that's just
Hawaiian silky, Hilarious,Hilarious.
But yeah, it's not just blackpeople that ask that, but I just
(23:45):
.
It's so crazy to me that peoplejust think that you have long
hair, you have to be mixed withsomething, or the standard is oh
, their hair can grow, and thenotion of good hair.
So when you hear someone saygood hair, what do you think
(24:09):
that people assume?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I assume that people are talking about either
straight hair like no kinky noquote, unquote nappy hair You've
got either straight hair oryou've got like big, luscious,
3c curl type situation.
It's like you don't have kinky,coily hair.
(24:32):
When they say good hair,they're talking about something
that is either straight or withbouncy spirals and curls, and
usually there's some length toit, but-.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And are you thinking that this person is black when
they talk about, quote, unquote,good hair.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, I don't think other people talk about good
hair.
I think it is something astigma that we have as black
people that go along with thecolorism that came out of days
when people were being forced tohave children with slaveholders
(25:16):
.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
No, no.
My question to you is when theysay and I want someone with
good hair, do you think thatthey are talking about someone
black?
Is what I'm saying.
When you hear someone say oh,she has good hair, does your
mind automatically think thatcannot be talking about someone
black, or do you think it's myquestion?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I think I'm talking about someone black, because I
don't think we think about otherpeople's hair in the same
context.
I got you, I got you.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I got you.
I see what you're saying.
You know I just can, we just so.
Does it offend you when someonesays good hair?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Offend is a strong word.
I will say this Eric has whatwould be considered good hair
Soft hair, it is soft hair.
It is curly, like browncoca-cans.
Curly black hair, like the songused to say, like finally easy
penis.
So I did think about honestlylike what kind of hair with my
(26:18):
children have if I procreate itwith this person and for me I
also end up having boys, so itmattered a bit less.
But because you're thinkingabout the manageability of the
hair, correct, it's not a goodthought to have.
But that is some people'sreasoning behind wanting their
(26:41):
children to have good hair,which means they have to.
Then they have to firstprocreate with somebody who has
good hair First time I say goodhair, I'm using Air quotes.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I get you know, we had this, this talk, and I said
it's not good hair.
Can we just say, ok, well, whatwould you like?
I was like, let's say, softhair, managerial hair, because I
guess for what they call it forseahair, but the coils in the
curls are tighter, but I don'tnecessarily, but my hair is very
(27:17):
soft.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So I think, like you said, is people think of it,
they're talking more aboutmanageable hair or hair that is
not as tightly curled or coiled.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yes, you do.
You think about your children.
I mean, I can see what you'resaying.
I think about, you know theyour children, because for a
girl that would be, and itwasn't a good thought to have by
any stretch.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Well, it is a horrible thing to think, but we
have been programmed to thinkabout those things.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Yeah, and I'm sure we probably were younger.
I know I used to remember thisverbatim.
When I was younger I alwayssaid I never want to marry
anybody black, no one dark skin.
Because I'm dark skin ObviouslyI don't think that way now but
because I was teased.
So I think when things are saidto you, you don't know how
(28:22):
triggering it may be to a person, because I was teased a lot.
Now now, granted, going back andthinking about it, probably
those people that teased me, theguys, probably had a crush.
But you don't think about thatwhen you're a child because you
know children can be mean.
But I always said, oh, I wantto marry someone Puerto Rican or
light skin Because you know Inever want my, if I have
(28:46):
children, want to experiencewhat I experienced when I was
younger, being called, just alltypes of things.
Like I remember this guy namedKenny we went to school with
would always tease me and oh myand I just remember being in had
to be six or seven grade, goingto the specific class, because
(29:10):
he would just tease me and Ijust remember saying I never
want my children to experiencethis.
So I do not want to marryanyone dark because I don't want
my children to come out dark.
But here's the catch what thatis just because you marry
someone who is lighter orsomeone that's under your
business not mean that thosegenes will not jump back.
(29:32):
Exactly so you didn't know thisas a child.
Now, obviously, I have grownand I don't think that way now.
So I love a dark skin guy.
I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
The thing is I thought that was my type, so I
did not marry a dark skin guy,to the point that when I first
introduced him to one of myaunts I found out later she
asked my daddy if he was Mexican.
Really, yes, but he is funnybecause we have been in places
with large you know let's, youknow, in Latinx populations and
(30:06):
folks have spoken to him andSpanish, because they had some
assumptions.
But yeah, I was.
I was a little bit hesitant Iknow it sounds weird because I
did want to marry somebody darkskin.
I was a little bit hesitant tomarry, to date, this light
skinned person.
And so, yeah, it's interesting,those things that we think that
(30:32):
we want based on how we've been, you know treated or treated or
things that may have happenedto you in the past.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah, I thought that obviously that was very ignorant
thinking, but again, I was achild.
Of course I do not think thatway now, but yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Those genes going to come out and do what those genes
going to do, so it won't evenmatter, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
So you know the people who are thinking, if I
marry a non black or a lighterskin person, that, oh, my
children are going to be.
You know, because peopleautomatically think, just being
a dark skinned person, becauseyou marry someone white or light
or another ethnic group, theirchildren are going to be
beautiful.
But that does not mean that.
(31:14):
That does not mean that BecauseI've seen it to where it's like
, oh girl, but we won't get intothat.
But I have seen where that wasnot the case.
So you know, just because youthink that you may be marrying
someone light or white orwhatever, does not mean that
your children are going to havethis quote unquote soft hair.
(31:37):
It doesn't necessarily meanthey're going to be quote
unquote light, Because, again,the genes be your color.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
So they are an amazing thing, they are very
much so they just have to breakthat habit and it's just just
very sad what, honestly, slaveryhas done to the culture of our
people.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
It just you know the things, yes, the way that you've
you know, you've been manifestthat, and there's a lot of like
internal colorism, internalracism, that we then decide
we're going to try to wipe outby doing things that are not
(32:23):
Healthy for us as it comes toterms of relationships, and so
we enter into relationships withpeople we ain't got no business
being in trying to combat somefeelings that we have internally
.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
And I think that, again, here's where growth can
come into play, and also timesyou do need to go, sit on
someone's brown leather couchand, just here, a third party
that's unbiased, to talk yourfeelings out.
So go to therapy, people,that's, that's that.
(32:59):
Look, that is the moral of thestory.
Yes, I mean, if you are having,you know you, just thoughts, or
sometimes you just need to workout things with the unbiased
person, it doesn't, you don'thave to be at your wits end, you
don't have to be in crisis.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
It's actually pretty good to start there before
you're fully in crisis.
That way, you have somebody tohelp you every step of the way
you know what Colorism is.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Just not for darker skin people too, because people
have colorism with light,lighter skin.
Sometimes they don't know wherethey fit in.
Too light to be white, toolight to be fit in with the
darker skin.
You know, oh, you're not blackenough, you're not white enough.
I've heard that too.
So it doesn't just come in theform of you know, with darker
(33:56):
skin.
Yeah, I believe in just withblack people, because I have
heard where there are in theHispanic culture the lighter,
the darker there.
So I tell you it has justreally done a number on people.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I think that's another thing.
People don't understand thatethnicity and race are two
different things.
So you can be Hispanic but alsobe black or be Hispanic and
also be white or be Hispanic orbe Asian.
It's ethnicity and race are twoseparate things and I think
that people have.
They look at people whoidentify as Hispanic or Latinx,
(34:31):
and we are so accustomed toseeing folks who actually do
Like, if you look at thempresent as Caucasian and so they
have some experiences thatdarker skinned folks, Hispanic
folks, don't have and that yourarely.
(34:52):
You rarely see like darkerskinned Hispanic folks or darker
skinned like Indian people orSouth Asian folks, without there
having to be some conversationaround it because they seem to
be outside of the norm whenthey're not.
It's just what we see.
You know, we always see thefair skin on billboards and in
(35:13):
ads and held up as beautystandard of beauty Exactly,
Beauty that is true.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
And so again going back to when we were younger and
me saying that you know I wasteeth, I know a lot of people
were, but that just wasn't.
You didn't see when you grew up.
You didn't see a lot ofcommercials or people who look
like you.
Growing up on my now, maybe Jet, ebony Essence, things like
(35:43):
that, yeah, but I'm just sayingjust regular L'Oreal and not
mainstream.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, you are going to see a lot of us mainstream?
No, so of course, when you see,I mean the truth of the matter
is it's still today looked at assome kind of anomaly when you
see a beautiful, dark skinnedwoman gracing, you know, the
cover of major magazines.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
True facts, true facts.
So I just think that everyone,no matter what color you are,
needs to be just comfortablewith your own skin and whether
other people think that you'repretty or handsome, believe that
yourself.
Yeah, I'm going to tell yousomebody who really but I don't
know if you follow him, but hamNewton.
(36:27):
Huh, well, I tell you, top tier, just confidence in himself,
like he is going to root forhimself no matter what, that's
good, it is great.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
His attire is drip as they say I do too.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
You know, people think that he's very out there.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Look, hey that just shows you all the problems.
Express himself.
Let him.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Exactly.
No, I can't, I can't hurt himand yeah, he just exudes
confidence, I mean, you know.
So, everyone, I just think,just needs to work on themselves
and working on being, you know,just secure and having
confidence in themselves,because, no matter what people
(37:12):
may say about you, you have tofill it within because if you
don't, no one else will.
So, amen, no, that's, that's,that's my thought on that,
that's my thought on that.
So good, good, good, good topic.
I think that's something that,whether we know it or not, some
(37:34):
people may have to do.
Yeah, exactly, and unbeknownstto us.
People may have been teased orbeen the bully, but it just it
needs to stop, it needs it justjust, people, just be very
cognizant of what you say topeople.
Be kind to people.
(37:54):
Be kind, which brings us to,which brings us to.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
I'm not going to be kind.
I have an internet story.
Why you have to be kind, becauseI'm annoyed.
That's a pet peeve of mine.
So charcuterie, that's what I'mtalking about, meaning meats,
cold cuts and so people started,you know, having charcuterie.
(38:22):
People started havingcharcuterie boards, and then
people started putting everyJohn Brown thing on boards and
in the holiday season especially, people started having parties
and just if you bring in aplatter of food, you just bring
in a platter of food.
Everything ain't a board.
And I saw this video of theselovely ladies having a gathering
, okay, and they all seem tohave brought, you know, a dish,
(38:47):
but they had stuff like popcornboards and chicken wing boards
and doughnut boards, and thoseare just platters of food Like a
one-time board.
No, it's just a platter ofone-times.
You put it on a board, but itjust annoys me it does Tell us
how you really feel yo.
This is not like, trust me,nobody should go out and change
(39:09):
the fact that they do this justto appease me, but just out of
things that I saw scrolling onthe internet is last week, which
is how we find these thingsjust random stuff that makes us
feel some kind of way when wesee them.
This is true, and this was oneof mine.
I don't like it.
Stop putting everything onboards.
(39:30):
It's just a platter of food.
If you bring in chicken wings,just bring chicken wings.
We don't need a production.
It ain't a board.
Don't put it on a board becausethey're just going to fall off
the board.
Put it in a platter so thisfood is safe, so you can carry
it.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Well, let's go to Miriam and Webster's definition
of what that is.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I don't care what Miriam says.
Shakurda remains cold meat.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
No See, that's what I was going to say.
That is what the definition is.
First of all, I think whatpeople need to understand is how
to pronounce it.
Okay, so let the people know.
Yep, I agree, let the peopleknow how the correct
pronunciation of it.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I'm not saying I'm saying it right, but I know the
word to be charcuterie.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
That is correct.
That is correct.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
And the French will be mad at me because I probably
still didn't say it right.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Well, let's see Now, did you hear?
Speaker 1 (40:30):
that?
No, I did not hear thepronunciation.
Okay, but I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Charcuterie is what she says, and the definition is
a delicatessen specializing indressed meat and meat dishes.
So that is what the definitionis.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
So you were actually, so just put the rest of your
food on a platter and have agood day, and so what you're?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
saying is have a platter party.
Is what you're saying?
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You don't need to call it anything Like stop, just
bring this food.
If you are a signed donor, youdon't need to take them and put
them on this wooden board sothat you can feel like something
.
And trust me, I love acharcuterie, I love a cheese
(41:19):
board, but I'm not putting mychicken wings on a board Like
that's a step too far for me.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Now are you okay with the crackers and the different
cheeses?
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Yes, but then that is a charcuterie and cheese board.
Once you start adding all therest of the stuff the cheeses
and the fruits and the freshgreens tastes great.
That makes a different thing,but still those are the things.
If we don't have boards thatbelong on boards, popcorn does
not belong on the board.
It's just popcorn, it's just atray, you just have a platter.
(41:53):
But stop with the board parties.
People Just like that.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
With the board you motherboard.
You heard it.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Stop with the popcorn , don't let chicken wings, just
put them on a platter and bringthem to the party.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Put it on a.
She said, put it on a platterand just bring it to the party.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
It don't need a name.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Do not.
She said, put it on a woodenboard.
Okay, and tell the people thatis a charcuterie board.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
That is what she's saying Not a board, don't put it
on a wooden platter, just putit in a dish, bring it and bring
it.
Don't call it anything you canhave your food.
You don't have to take apicture of your food and you
don't have to name your food tobe able to eat it Now, does that
?
Speaker 2 (42:39):
annoy you when people take pictures of their dishes
and put it on Instagram?
Does that?
Speaker 1 (42:44):
annoy you.
People enjoy their food.
They can do that.
I don't really care about that.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I just threw that in, but you don't want them to put
it on a wooden board and dimpost it as a.
That's what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
I don't need to be, don't name it.
You are not the chef.
Don't name the dish, just justeat it.
Very unnecessary thing to sharewith people about my feelings
about this, but it was on theinternet and I had a lot of
strong feelings and I said it tomy friends.
I said a lot of stuff.
So here we are.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Look, that's how you feel, and it is.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
I have a podcast.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
And you can do that.
You can do that Random thought,random thought.
Have you ever noticed?
And you're going to notice itnow?
It literally just happened tome last night.
This annoys me.
People who drive Mustangs,challengers, camaro's and
(43:37):
Chargers this is for you.
Okay, I'm not trying to raceyou.
When I pull up to the light,okay, you know, it just seems
like, and just notice this.
When you pull up to, youalready know when they're
revving their engine or if theytake off, just know, just turn
to your left or your right andnotice it's going to be a
(43:59):
Mustang, challenger, camaro orcharger that thinks you want to
race.
When I pull up to the light,people, and maybe I'm speeding
and I come to a stop and I gojust a little bit above the line
, that does not mean when I pullup beside one of those four
cars, that I am at any pointtrying to race you.
(44:22):
Or if I pull off real fast,that does not mean that I'm
trying to race you.
It just means that I'm tryingto get where I am going.
Okay, so that does not meanthat when I'm sitting in a light
beside one of those four carsthat I mentioned, that you could
just rev, rev, rev your enginelike I want to, like, I want to
speed pack.
I don't, okay, I'm not tryingto see, I am just trying to get
(44:45):
to where we are, where I'mtrying to go, and that's for
everyone out there.
They're not trying to race you,okay.
So you don't have to peel offwhen the light turns green or
think that someone's trying toto race you.
Have you noticed that?
Speaker 1 (45:00):
y'all no, I just trying to race me.
I drive a minivan, nobody isthinking.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
But I'm just racing them.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
So no, I have not noticed that.
I'll pay attention now, but Idon't think people think I'm
trying to race them in myminivan.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
They, they and this goes out to the only people that
are trying to race you or otherMustangs, other chargers, other
Camaros and other challengers.
Those are the only people thatare trying to race.
Okay, I'm not, so just stopwith the peeling off, all right,
that annoys.
It literally just happened lastnight.
(45:34):
We'll see, I'm sitting at thelight and literally it was
raining and they just He'll raceit in the rain.
Racing in the right and I threwmy hand up.
I said I knew it, it was a dogor challenger.
It was a challenger.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
So Okay, challenger Everybody not trying to
challenge you.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Everybody is not trying to.
So stop, that's just my.
You know my random rent of theday.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
So, folks, whether you want it to or not, you now
know a couple of things thatannoy us, that are some pet
peeves of ours.
What are your pet peeves?
What are the things that can berational they can be rational
that just really get to you.
Tell us about it.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Tell us, tell us, please, please, please, please,
guys you know, let us know.
Interact with us.
Let us know how you like theshow, what we could do better.
Tell us about your pet peeves.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I don't know that I want you out of.
Tell me what I can do better.
But okay, you think you doeverything.
I don't think I do everything.
Well, but I don't know that I'mquite ready for the criticism
of either.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Okay, well, don't give us criticism.
I just get in guys like we canstop you.
We can't, we can't, but youknow, I just again.
I tell you this all the time Ilove doing this podcast cause
you know, you can just talk andwe can just talk random things
(47:04):
and, you know, share ourthoughts about our pet peeves.
Yeah, when we pull up to thelight, the challengers, you know
thinking that we're trying tochallenge him.
You know the charcuterie boardswith wings, donuts, that yo.
We have found out to them thatshe, she despises that.
So, guys, please don't do that.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Describes, is the well probably an appropriate
word.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
Never mind, yeah, you despise it.
Um, but yeah, guys, just let usknow how you, how you like the
show.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
That's what you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Hit that subscribe button, guys.
And so this week we arespotlighting who turn on your
notifications.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yes, we are spotlighting Amy Smith filter
services in Charlotte and Fortmeal.
Amy Smith to pre on Facebookand a Smith underscore here for
housing on IG.
Again a Smith underscore herefor housing on Instagram, and
we'll share all of those in ourInstagram and in our show notes
(48:11):
so you can be in touch with Amyif you're in Charlotte or Fort
meal or Fort meal.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Yeah, she's doing, she's doing good.
He has a little billboard on 77.
Go Amy.
So Amy, my cousin, is doing bigthings, Our well bankers.
So yeah, check her out again.
You know, this is probably oneof our favorite segments right
(48:38):
it is.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
It is.
We know great people doinggreat things and we wanted to
talk about them.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
So check her out again.
All of this will be on the sitein our show notes and on our
Instagram.
Again, another great podcast,and, as you know, I love doing
this.
Love it, love it, love it, loveit To subscribe to us and let
(49:02):
us know how we're doing, and sowe will see you again when yo.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
See you Fridays in the group chat.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
See you in the group chat.
I'm Yola Gilliam.
I'm your girl, Lene Johnson,AKA Leni.
If you've been serious on myother friends, that call me Leni
.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Yo, what's going on?
Oh yeah, I have trouble keepingup with the days of the week.
I don't know what day of theweek it is, Um, but I'm day, I'm
day.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Oh it is, so I'm going to be going to the.
I'm day.
I'm day, oh it is, so it's beenan event for week.
We had um both of the boys athome.
We've been hanging out watchingmovies.
It's been rainy, we hadChristmas, so we wore pajamas
(00:43):
for two days straight, which isthe highlight.
You know, I like to be comfycozy.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah.
What you been up to we'reabsolutely nothing, just trying
to get things ready for theplays, and I have guests coming
in this week for new year's tostay.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Oh, that'll be fun.
How many guests do you havecoming, oh?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
just two no that's not too many, no, just two.
It just, you know, for rental,that's all.
Oh, okay, yeah, just for rental.
So I have to get the placeready and so that's what I've
been doing, nothing, justchilling and trying to clean and
just be out by the time theyget here.
So that's it.
Just like you, comfy and cozy,and you know same thing, my
(01:33):
onesie.
You know, I love a good onesie.
I love a good onesie.
What movies were you watching?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Oh my goodness.
So I decided that I wanted tocatch up on some things and
watch stuff with, like, tiaMaury in it for some strange
reason.
So I did a lot of that.
She's got.
She's been on the Lifetimemaking holiday movies, so I
watched several of those.
(02:01):
Tatiana Ali has several too, soI kind of got in that zone
where I was just watching a lotof stuff with black folks in it.
I do like black folks atChristmas and you know Kelly
Rowland has a series, themarried little Christmas series.
So I watched all three of thoseMostly.
(02:22):
And we, like, I said Warpedpajamas and we ate, and ate, and
ate.
Eric makes all the good food,and so he had a sit up nicely
for Christmas dinner, and sowe've been eating on that for a
couple of days.
What did you have?
Oh, he made he fried a turkey.
It was a hot honey fried turkey.
(02:45):
Oh, he made a ham, mac andcheese, some green beans, some
dressing, a couple of cakes I'mmissing a couple of tea.
He goes all out.
Dressing, not stuffing.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Not stuffing.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It was not in the bird, it was on its own, uh-huh.
Oh, he also made some gum bug.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Hmm, as you know, people or some of them may or
may not know Eric, her husband,is a deaf.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
He is, he is, and we take full advantage of that we
enjoy that aspect of his life.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, yeah, did you say hot honey turkey?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yes, hot honey, deep fried turkey Well that sounds
good.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That sounds so good, but I can't eat turkey.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Really why I have gout.
I do too.
That is a weird thing to havein common, so I have to eat it
in moderation.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, and like I know if I'm going to eat it which I
don't eat it that much at all Imake sure I have my cherry juice
because it will set it off.
And so I know when I drinkcherry juice it kind of like, uh
, I won't have an episode, but Ijust try to just really limit
my gout intake.
(04:08):
But that's very weird that, um,that we're so young and we get
it.
I remember my first filletrough they said usually old
women get it.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I know my great-grandma was like 90s had
it, but yeah, I actually have aprescription for it.
What do you take?
It begins with an I.
I can't remember the whole nameI endow something.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, my dad used to take that and he no longer takes
that anymore.
He takes one that starts withan A, but my cousin has it and
usually either men or old womenget it.
So, wow, I didn't know you hadgout as well.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, I found out because I thought I was dying,
my foot was going to fall off,and I went to the emergency room
and they were useless.
But then I went to my owndoctor and she walked me through
some things and I learned thatsome of my like my favorite
foods, like the spinach and thebrussel sprouts and things like
(05:07):
that that I eat a lot oh yeah,exacerbating it.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, yeah, oh wow.
I too found out some years ago.
I was still living in Atlantaand on Sunday I remember it was
that Sunday I had made turkeynecks and because I love a good
turkey neck girl.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
That is an old woman thing.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh, turkey necks.
Oh, my God, it's so good.
Um, I had for breakfast I hadlike bacon and grits and
something I think.
For dinner I had like turkeynecks.
I think I had mac and cheeseand you can't remember what else
.
But that day it felt like I hadstuck my toe and I kept thinking
why did I have to stuck my toe?
(05:53):
Um, and then around, I had tosay it was around like maybe two
o'clock in the morning I wentto use the bathroom and I had to
walk on the side of my foot.
That's how bad it was hurting.
I didn't know what was going on.
By six o'clock, when I used thebathroom again, I literally was
crawling, literally was crawlingto the bathroom and went to the
urgent care and he thoughtbecause I had had um bunion
(06:15):
surgery when I was in highschool, he thought it was
because there was a screw stillin my foot.
So he made a appointment to gofor me to go to the orthopedic
surgeon and I had told my daddy.
He was like it sounds like goutand I'm like in and gout.
He was like mm.
Okay, because I remember havingmy cell in vain on it.
My foot was.
It was first of all was soswollen and the mirror air from
the ceiling van and the flatsheet it just so when I went in
(06:38):
and not have the sheets on youhave got to.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Just the foot needs to be exposed.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Touching it, the absolute worst.
So by the time I got to theorthopedic surgeon I literally
was crawling and they had tocome get me with the wheelchair.
And so the doctor comes in.
He said tell me what you ateyesterday.
And I told him he said do youhave a history of gout?
I just chuckled Because my dadhad just told me, like a few
(07:04):
hours ago, he thought it wasgout and that's when I found out
that I had it.
And he said you know, you maynot have another flare-up for
another month, another year, twoyears.
He's like this will probablylast for about a week, and after
that it was as if there's nosign of it.
So I just have to be, we haveto be cognizant of what we can.
And I don't know.
For me it's turkey, so I try tolimit that.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Mind the spinach Beef .
And well, see, I would like myfavorite meal is like a rib eye
with spinach and mushrooms andBrussels sprouts, which all can
exacerbate gout, which I did notknow, and so, but I do like I
would throw for lunch.
I'd throw a leg of spinach anda ball with some shrimp, or I'd
be like, oh, I'll just makethese Brussels sprouts before
(07:49):
they go back, and so I eatBrussels sprouts and spinach
like two, three times a weekeach.
Thank you, and I learned thatwhen I was looking at the list
of foods that I need it to bemindful of, you know, because we
all know the beef and thosekinds of things.
Yeah, but I was not expectingall of my favorite vegetables to
be on the list.
You have to be mindful of that.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, that's, that's great Like for my dad, I think
he he loves sardines.
I love sardines too, but hecan't have that.
And you know, of course theysay pork and shellfish will do
it.
And I have noticed that I'mgoing to have to start doing a
food diary because I havenoticed that certain things that
I eat, it will almost feel likeI have stumped my toe, like the
(08:34):
first time I had a flare up.
Yeah, I never know what it is,because I'm not writing things
down and I'm like, please, Lord,don't let it be seafood,
because if I have to give upseafood, that is going to be a
sad day.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
A very sad day.
I think you have to do it inmoderation, like you can't have
it all the time, but if you doit in moderation, you should be
fine and have to keep thatcherry juice on deck because I'm
like first turkey, now see Lord.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
So but you know, tatiana Ali has a cute little
movie with Pamela Belle.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Cornelia Smith.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
No, he plays the handsome guy who plays all state
guy.
What's his name?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Dennis Hayesburg in Cornelia Smith yes, yes, yes.
The one when her sister passesaway and she goes, yes.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Oh my God, that was that.
That's a cute little movie that.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I have seen that one, and I watched that one this
year too.
Yeah, that was a good one.
So you're real, are you right?
That's not the one she doeswith Cornelia.
So the one she does withCornelia Smith, he should not
pull in, plays her sister inthat one and tip his blood, so
isn't.
So that's jingle bells.
But the one that you're talkingabout I think maybe it's Andre
(09:55):
would feel that.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, he is in that one.
Yes, he's in the movie.
Yes, yes, that one is.
He's been around a long timebecause, remember, he played
Robert.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
That's how I think of him.
When I see him, I think Robert.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Oh my God, classic that he has.
He has been around.
Wow, you, when you start reallydigging you see, these actors
and actresses have been around along time, a long, long time.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
But yeah, it's funny because people always make them
out to seem like they're justovernight successes and I was
like they've been grinding for awhile for a while.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And you know what?
There was a guy up till mymother who just passed.
Forget his name, hispanic actor.
He's such a good actor as well,but I know he played I think
he's his original.
He starred in originally on, Ithink, days of our life.
(10:55):
I didn't realize he played onthat, but I know he was in law
and order.
Forget his name, I'll get backto you on that one.
But he passed away and he wassuch a good actress.
I mean, excuse me, actor.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, actor, I'll send it toyou.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Because you like to play in law and order and I was
like I know she's on my BenjaminBrett.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
No, no, and you know I realized that a lot of you
know people don't realize that alot of actors have been in law
and order in actresses.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Everybody Like I think, anybody who is acting has
been on an episode of law andorder or an episode of the West
Wing.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
My goodness, they really, really have.
I literally just sent it to you.
It is being delivered to you aswe speak.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Do you remember him?
You keep saying as we speak Ijust got it, I know I don't know
him.
I think I know him.
I sure as heck don't know himfrom days of our lives or
whatnot.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I wouldn't like to live.
It, says one like the one, likehis name is Pamara Day Los
Reyes.
Well, I guess the soul so young, 56.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Condolences to his family and love.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I know but yeah, but I'm glad that you were able to
spend time with your family.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I did.
I have teenagers, so spend likewe watched.
I guess we watched a couplethings together.
We watched me and the youngestone, he's 15.
We watched two versions of theGrinch, like the original one,
and then the most recent one.
I don't do that, jim Carrey one, and then I mean the older one
ended up watching the EddieMurphy candy cane Lane, which
(12:57):
was cute.
It's a new one, right?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, it's new this year, because I think that I saw
some advertisements for that.
Is that on prime?
It is it is.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You can't tell.
Quality time is my lovelanguage, so anybody who spends
time and hangs out with me yeah,it makes me warm and fuzzy.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Well, so what do we have this week?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
What you got us about to talk about is I'm always
nervous at this point, Just like.
Well, we're about to talk aboutnow.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
This week I thought we were talking about because my
cousin and I had a conversationand we were talking about Hair
and color.
There was a situation we weretalking about and that she said
(13:57):
that a gentleman walked up toher friend and said you know,
you are so pretty to be darkskin.
And I said what did she say?
What Did she get offended?
And I think she just kind ofwas like whatever and just kind
(14:17):
of like moved on and I said wow,so we got into the.
You know, when you starttalking about something that
snowballs into you knowdifferent things.
And then we started talkingabout good hair and quote
unquote what that means and thatyou know it just kind of Hate
(14:39):
that term.
So I said you know what thiswill be so good to talk about on
the podcast.
So have you ever?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
The audacity to say I mean, I guess over these I've
been told I was pretty for blackgirls, pretty for a big girl.
I don't know what the qualifiesfor you either, or you aren't
to somebody like you can justsay to somebody I think you're
pretty and leave it at that.
Yeah, you don't need to qualifythat as this thing that you
(15:09):
evidently don't usually find tobe attractive, that they have
some kind of way Exceeded yourexpectations and you feel like
they should know it in that way.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I agree, I agree, I have had that happen to me a lot
.
Actually, you know, you are sopretty, you're so cute to be a
dark skin, to be dark skinReally, I mean and I find that
obviously the only people thatsay that For people in our race.
(15:45):
I've never had anybody inanother race say that.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
No, I think you're just be pretty as a black girl.
Yeah, or just you're justpretty.
No, I've never had Well, I'vehad only one.
And I have actually dated somefolks outside of my race and I
still, which is why I wouldn'tdate them long With that whole
pretty as a black girl say for ablack girl thing.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
They said that yes.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Really, this is like people.
They think it is a compliment,but they, what they are telling
you is that this is my standardof beauty and some kind of way.
You are an exception to thatand I need to let you know that
you are an exception to the rule.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Well, now you're, so I just want to make sure that
I'm here.
You correctly You're sayingsomeone said that you were pre
to be a black girl.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yes, white men have said that.
Wow, Let me say black men mightsay you were pretty to be dark
skinned.
But white men will say or not?
Black men will say you arepretty for a black girl.
I had it said to me.
I've had friends who had itsaid to them.
Like I said to me, it justmeans that they have a, in their
(17:05):
mind, a particular standard ofbeauty.
They feel like you are anexception to that and, instead
of just letting you know thatthey find you to be attractive
or pretty, they want you to knowthat, hey, this is my normal
standard, but I have singled youout as an exception to that and
you should feel good aboutyourself.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
And that is not okay, people.
Okay for anyone to say that toanyone period, that is just a
news flash.
You don't say that, don'tunderstand where people get off
thinking that they can just saycrazy stuff like that, like
(17:49):
you're just pretty period.
Not for a black girl, not for awhite girl, not for Hispanic
Asian Indian.
You're pretty, period, end ofstory.
But I don't think that peoplereally see how offensive that
could be.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
But I don't know that it happens to not black women.
I think that black women arethe ones who get the qualifiers
Like you're not.
They always want to let youknow that you would not normally
be seen as this, so peoplethink it is a compliment.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
That ordinarily you, your race of people as a group
for females, are not.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
That's what I think.
I think they don't think as awhole.
Black women are beautiful.
So if they are going to tellyou that you are beautiful, they
want you to know that this isin addition to what the regular
standard is.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
But the standard is not beautiful, is not pretty or
beautiful for black as a cultureI don't think that black women
are considered.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Well, we know that black women are not the,
absolutely not, no.
And then it becomes you.
You said yourself like itbecomes.
Then the colorism enters thechat with the.
You're pretty for dark skingirl.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, because they don't look at dark skin to be
pretty.
No, they don't, or they'll saywas she, was she, was she
caramel or caramel, or was she?
You know, that's what they'llsay, which leads me into this.
So did you see the reel that Isent to you from YouTube?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yes, out the hair.
That pissed me off.
So not only are we not pretty,but we've all had it too.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah.
So let's give some context tothe people who didn't see it,
because we'll post it, because Ithought it was really good.
Hopefully we can post it.
So, anyway, the girl comes onand I'm pretty girl, darker skin
girl, chocolate girl, and soshe says she has long, real long
hair and it's gorgeous too, bythe way.
And the comment was when I looklike this, he had perm here.
(20:15):
He said no one questioned me,no one ever came up to me and
asked me what was I mixed?
She said but she is now naturaland her hair, she has her
natural Toil curly hair, meaningunprocessed, it's not permed,
it's just natural.
(20:35):
And it's long as to her waist.
And she said now that she now,because her hair is long and has
her natural curl, she gets allthe time what are you mixed with
?
As if back women get not growhair.
And she said that is very, veryoffensive.
I said that's just.
(20:58):
I don't know.
I just I just saw her to whereI thought the hair was beautiful
.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Her hair was beautiful.
It, like you said, it had hernatural curl pattern.
It was very, it was very long.
It is long hair for anybody.
It's not just long hair forblack women, it is long hair for
anybody.
It's to her waist, yes, it wasto her waist, yes, and she has
(21:23):
features that would beconsidered African features.
Like she looks like a blackperson and, like she said, she
was never questioned about herracial makeup or ethnicity prior
to wearing her hair this way.
When she just wore, you know,shoulder length relaxed.
But because it is very long andher curl pattern is phenomenal,
(21:48):
folks automatically havedecided that there has to be
something contributing to that,aside from just the hair growing
out of the scalp of this blackwoman.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
That she has to be miss.
She can't just be black, Ithink.
I think I hope I'm notmisquoted but I think she said
they asked her she mixed withIndian.
Yes, I think that's what shesaid.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And so you know what I find interesting about that Do
you have Indian in your family?
I'm using my quote fingers.
You've heard that about peoplewith yeah, with their good hair.
But I will say this I haveoften heard that from black
people that is not even otherraces or ethnicities asking that
question.
So I'm assuming, like when sheis saying people are asking this
(22:34):
question, it is not just likewe want to jump to the
conclusion that is just whitefolks or non black people.
But I, when she said that part,my assumption was these are
also black people asking herwhen they're like you got Indian
in your family because you gotgood hair.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It's just you know what it reminds me of, but I'm
sure you haven't heard this, butit's this bit on outcast song,
and everybody knows I loveoutcast, and so it's a bit on
there that says she says the guysays oh my God, your hair is so
(23:21):
beautiful.
And he says she said well, youknow, I got Indian in my family.
It's hilarious, I literallythought about this.
And he said, girl, that ain'tno good hair, that's just
Hawaiian silky, Hilarious,Hilarious.
But yeah, it's not just blackpeople that ask that, but I just
(23:45):
.
It's so crazy to me that peoplejust think that you have long
hair, you have to be mixed withsomething, or the standard is oh
, their hair can grow, and thenotion of good hair.
So when you hear someone saygood hair, what do you think
(24:09):
that people assume?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I assume that people are talking about either
straight hair like no kinky noquote, unquote nappy hair You've
got either straight hair oryou've got like big, luscious,
3c curl type situation.
It's like you don't have kinky,coily hair.
(24:32):
When they say good hair,they're talking about something
that is either straight or withbouncy spirals and curls, and
usually there's some length toit, but-.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And are you thinking that this person is black when
they talk about, quote, unquote,good hair.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, I don't think other people talk about good
hair.
I think it is something astigma that we have as black
people that go along with thecolorism that came out of days
when people were being forced tohave children with slaveholders
(25:16):
.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
No, no.
My question to you is when theysay and I want someone with
good hair, do you think thatthey are talking about someone
black?
Is what I'm saying.
When you hear someone say oh,she has good hair, does your
mind automatically think thatcannot be talking about someone
black, or do you think it's myquestion?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I think I'm talking about someone black, because I
don't think we think about otherpeople's hair in the same
context.
I got you, I got you.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I got you.
I see what you're saying.
You know I just can, we just so.
Does it offend you when someonesays good hair?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Offend is a strong word.
I will say this Eric has whatwould be considered good hair
Soft hair, it is soft hair.
It is curly, like browncoca-cans.
Curly black hair, like the songused to say, like finally easy
penis.
So I did think about honestlylike what kind of hair with my
(26:18):
children have if I procreate itwith this person and for me I
also end up having boys, so itmattered a bit less.
But because you're thinkingabout the manageability of the
hair, correct, it's not a goodthought to have.
But that is some people'sreasoning behind wanting their
(26:41):
children to have good hair,which means they have to.
Then they have to firstprocreate with somebody who has
good hair First time I say goodhair, I'm using Air quotes.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I get you know, we had this, this talk, and I said
it's not good hair.
Can we just say, ok, well, whatwould you like?
I was like, let's say, softhair, managerial hair, because I
guess for what they call it forseahair, but the coils in the
curls are tighter, but I don'tnecessarily, but my hair is very
(27:17):
soft.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So I think, like you said, is people think of it,
they're talking more aboutmanageable hair or hair that is
not as tightly curled or coiled.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yes, you do.
You think about your children.
I mean, I can see what you'resaying.
I think about, you know theyour children, because for a
girl that would be, and itwasn't a good thought to have by
any stretch.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Well, it is a horrible thing to think, but we
have been programmed to thinkabout those things.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Yeah, and I'm sure we probably were younger.
I know I used to remember thisverbatim.
When I was younger I alwayssaid I never want to marry
anybody black, no one dark skin.
Because I'm dark skin ObviouslyI don't think that way now but
because I was teased.
So I think when things are saidto you, you don't know how
(28:22):
triggering it may be to a person, because I was teased a lot.
Now now, granted, going back andthinking about it, probably
those people that teased me, theguys, probably had a crush.
But you don't think about thatwhen you're a child because you
know children can be mean.
But I always said, oh, I wantto marry someone Puerto Rican or
light skin Because you know Inever want my, if I have
(28:46):
children, want to experiencewhat I experienced when I was
younger, being called, just alltypes of things.
Like I remember this guy namedKenny we went to school with
would always tease me and oh myand I just remember being in had
to be six or seven grade, goingto the specific class, because
(29:10):
he would just tease me and Ijust remember saying I never
want my children to experiencethis.
So I do not want to marryanyone dark because I don't want
my children to come out dark.
But here's the catch what thatis just because you marry
someone who is lighter orsomeone that's under your
business not mean that thosegenes will not jump back.
(29:32):
Exactly so you didn't know thisas a child.
Now, obviously, I have grownand I don't think that way now.
So I love a dark skin guy.
I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
The thing is I thought that was my type, so I
did not marry a dark skin guy,to the point that when I first
introduced him to one of myaunts I found out later she
asked my daddy if he was Mexican.
Really, yes, but he is funnybecause we have been in places
with large you know let's, youknow, in Latinx populations and
(30:06):
folks have spoken to him andSpanish, because they had some
assumptions.
But yeah, I was.
I was a little bit hesitant Iknow it sounds weird because I
did want to marry somebody darkskin.
I was a little bit hesitant tomarry, to date, this light
skinned person.
And so, yeah, it's interesting,those things that we think that
(30:32):
we want based on how we've been, you know treated or treated or
things that may have happenedto you in the past.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah, I thought that obviously that was very ignorant
thinking, but again, I was achild.
Of course I do not think thatway now, but yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Those genes going to come out and do what those genes
going to do, so it won't evenmatter, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
So you know the people who are thinking, if I
marry a non black or a lighterskin person, that, oh, my
children are going to be.
You know, because peopleautomatically think, just being
a dark skinned person, becauseyou marry someone white or light
or another ethnic group, theirchildren are going to be
beautiful.
But that does not mean that.
(31:14):
That does not mean that BecauseI've seen it to where it's like
, oh girl, but we won't get intothat.
But I have seen where that wasnot the case.
So you know, just because youthink that you may be marrying
someone light or white orwhatever, does not mean that
your children are going to havethis quote unquote soft hair.
(31:37):
It doesn't necessarily meanthey're going to be quote
unquote light, Because, again,the genes be your color.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
So they are an amazing thing, they are very
much so they just have to breakthat habit and it's just just
very sad what, honestly, slaveryhas done to the culture of our
people.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
It just you know the things, yes, the way that you've
you know, you've been manifestthat, and there's a lot of like
internal colorism, internalracism, that we then decide
we're going to try to wipe outby doing things that are not
(32:23):
Healthy for us as it comes toterms of relationships, and so
we enter into relationships withpeople we ain't got no business
being in trying to combat somefeelings that we have internally
.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
And I think that, again, here's where growth can
come into play, and also timesyou do need to go, sit on
someone's brown leather couchand, just here, a third party
that's unbiased, to talk yourfeelings out.
So go to therapy, people,that's, that's that.
(32:59):
Look, that is the moral of thestory.
Yes, I mean, if you are having,you know you, just thoughts, or
sometimes you just need to workout things with the unbiased
person, it doesn't, you don'thave to be at your wits end, you
don't have to be in crisis.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
It's actually pretty good to start there before
you're fully in crisis.
That way, you have somebody tohelp you every step of the way
you know what Colorism is.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Just not for darker skin people too, because people
have colorism with light,lighter skin.
Sometimes they don't know wherethey fit in.
Too light to be white, toolight to be fit in with the
darker skin.
You know, oh, you're not blackenough, you're not white enough.
I've heard that too.
So it doesn't just come in theform of you know, with darker
(33:56):
skin.
Yeah, I believe in just withblack people, because I have
heard where there are in theHispanic culture the lighter,
the darker there.
So I tell you it has justreally done a number on people.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I think that's another thing.
People don't understand thatethnicity and race are two
different things.
So you can be Hispanic but alsobe black or be Hispanic and
also be white or be Hispanic orbe Asian.
It's ethnicity and race are twoseparate things and I think
that people have.
They look at people whoidentify as Hispanic or Latinx,
(34:31):
and we are so accustomed toseeing folks who actually do
Like, if you look at thempresent as Caucasian and so they
have some experiences thatdarker skinned folks, Hispanic
folks, don't have and that yourarely.
(34:52):
You rarely see like darkerskinned Hispanic folks or darker
skinned like Indian people orSouth Asian folks, without there
having to be some conversationaround it because they seem to
be outside of the norm whenthey're not.
It's just what we see.
You know, we always see thefair skin on billboards and in
(35:13):
ads and held up as beautystandard of beauty Exactly,
Beauty that is true.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
And so again going back to when we were younger and
me saying that you know I wasteeth, I know a lot of people
were, but that just wasn't.
You didn't see when you grew up.
You didn't see a lot ofcommercials or people who look
like you.
Growing up on my now, maybe Jet, ebony Essence, things like
(35:43):
that, yeah, but I'm just sayingjust regular L'Oreal and not
mainstream.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, you are going to see a lot of us mainstream?
No, so of course, when you see,I mean the truth of the matter
is it's still today looked at assome kind of anomaly when you
see a beautiful, dark skinnedwoman gracing, you know, the
cover of major magazines.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
True facts, true facts.
So I just think that everyone,no matter what color you are,
needs to be just comfortablewith your own skin and whether
other people think that you'repretty or handsome, believe that
yourself.
Yeah, I'm going to tell yousomebody who really but I don't
know if you follow him, but hamNewton.
(36:27):
Huh, well, I tell you, top tier, just confidence in himself,
like he is going to root forhimself no matter what, that's
good, it is great.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
His attire is drip as they say I do too.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
You know, people think that he's very out there.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Look, hey that just shows you all the problems.
Express himself.
Let him.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Exactly.
No, I can't, I can't hurt himand yeah, he just exudes
confidence, I mean, you know.
So, everyone, I just think,just needs to work on themselves
and working on being, you know,just secure and having
confidence in themselves,because, no matter what people
(37:12):
may say about you, you have tofill it within because if you
don't, no one else will.
So, amen, no, that's, that's,that's my thought on that,
that's my thought on that.
So good, good, good, good topic.
I think that's something that,whether we know it or not, some
(37:34):
people may have to do.
Yeah, exactly, and unbeknownstto us.
People may have been teased orbeen the bully, but it just it
needs to stop, it needs it justjust, people, just be very
cognizant of what you say topeople.
Be kind to people.
(37:54):
Be kind, which brings us to,which brings us to.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
I'm not going to be kind.
I have an internet story.
Why you have to be kind, becauseI'm annoyed.
That's a pet peeve of mine.
So charcuterie, that's what I'mtalking about, meaning meats,
cold cuts and so people started,you know, having charcuterie.
(38:22):
People started havingcharcuterie boards, and then
people started putting everyJohn Brown thing on boards and
in the holiday season especially, people started having parties
and just if you bring in aplatter of food, you just bring
in a platter of food.
Everything ain't a board.
And I saw this video of theselovely ladies having a gathering
, okay, and they all seem tohave brought, you know, a dish,
(38:47):
but they had stuff like popcornboards and chicken wing boards
and doughnut boards, and thoseare just platters of food Like a
one-time board.
No, it's just a platter ofone-times.
You put it on a board, but itjust annoys me it does Tell us
how you really feel yo.
This is not like, trust me,nobody should go out and change
(39:09):
the fact that they do this justto appease me, but just out of
things that I saw scrolling onthe internet is last week, which
is how we find these thingsjust random stuff that makes us
feel some kind of way when wesee them.
This is true, and this was oneof mine.
I don't like it.
Stop putting everything onboards.
(39:30):
It's just a platter of food.
If you bring in chicken wings,just bring chicken wings.
We don't need a production.
It ain't a board.
Don't put it on a board becausethey're just going to fall off
the board.
Put it in a platter so thisfood is safe, so you can carry
it.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Well, let's go to Miriam and Webster's definition
of what that is.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I don't care what Miriam says.
Shakurda remains cold meat.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
No See, that's what I was going to say.
That is what the definition is.
First of all, I think whatpeople need to understand is how
to pronounce it.
Okay, so let the people know.
Yep, I agree, let the peopleknow how the correct
pronunciation of it.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I'm not saying I'm saying it right, but I know the
word to be charcuterie.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
That is correct.
That is correct.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
And the French will be mad at me because I probably
still didn't say it right.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Well, let's see Now, did you hear?
Speaker 1 (40:30):
that?
No, I did not hear thepronunciation.
Okay, but I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Charcuterie is what she says, and the definition is
a delicatessen specializing indressed meat and meat dishes.
So that is what the definitionis.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
So you were actually, so just put the rest of your
food on a platter and have agood day, and so what you're?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
saying is have a platter party.
Is what you're saying?
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You don't need to call it anything Like stop, just
bring this food.
If you are a signed donor, youdon't need to take them and put
them on this wooden board sothat you can feel like something
.
And trust me, I love acharcuterie, I love a cheese
(41:19):
board, but I'm not putting mychicken wings on a board Like
that's a step too far for me.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Now are you okay with the crackers and the different
cheeses?
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Yes, but then that is a charcuterie and cheese board.
Once you start adding all therest of the stuff the cheeses
and the fruits and the freshgreens tastes great.
That makes a different thing,but still those are the things.
If we don't have boards thatbelong on boards, popcorn does
not belong on the board.
It's just popcorn, it's just atray, you just have a platter.
(41:53):
But stop with the board parties.
People Just like that.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
With the board you motherboard.
You heard it.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Stop with the popcorn , don't let chicken wings, just
put them on a platter and bringthem to the party.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Put it on a.
She said, put it on a platterand just bring it to the party.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
It don't need a name.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Do not.
She said, put it on a woodenboard.
Okay, and tell the people thatis a charcuterie board.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
That is what she's saying Not a board, don't put it
on a wooden platter, just putit in a dish, bring it and bring
it.
Don't call it anything you canhave your food.
You don't have to take apicture of your food and you
don't have to name your food tobe able to eat it Now, does that
?
Speaker 2 (42:39):
annoy you when people take pictures of their dishes
and put it on Instagram?
Does that?
Speaker 1 (42:44):
annoy you.
People enjoy their food.
They can do that.
I don't really care about that.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I just threw that in, but you don't want them to put
it on a wooden board and dimpost it as a.
That's what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
I don't need to be, don't name it.
You are not the chef.
Don't name the dish, just justeat it.
Very unnecessary thing to sharewith people about my feelings
about this, but it was on theinternet and I had a lot of
strong feelings and I said it tomy friends.
I said a lot of stuff.
So here we are.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Look, that's how you feel, and it is.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
I have a podcast.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
And you can do that.
You can do that Random thought,random thought.
Have you ever noticed?
And you're going to notice itnow?
It literally just happened tome last night.
This annoys me.
People who drive Mustangs,challengers, camaro's and
(43:37):
Chargers this is for you.
Okay, I'm not trying to raceyou.
When I pull up to the light,okay, you know, it just seems
like, and just notice this.
When you pull up to, youalready know when they're
revving their engine or if theytake off, just know, just turn
to your left or your right andnotice it's going to be a
(43:59):
Mustang, challenger, camaro orcharger that thinks you want to
race.
When I pull up to the light,people, and maybe I'm speeding
and I come to a stop and I gojust a little bit above the line
, that does not mean when I pullup beside one of those four
cars, that I am at any pointtrying to race you.
(44:22):
Or if I pull off real fast,that does not mean that I'm
trying to race you.
It just means that I'm tryingto get where I am going.
Okay, so that does not meanthat when I'm sitting in a light
beside one of those four carsthat I mentioned, that you could
just rev, rev, rev your enginelike I want to, like, I want to
speed pack.
I don't, okay, I'm not tryingto see, I am just trying to get
(44:45):
to where we are, where I'mtrying to go, and that's for
everyone out there.
They're not trying to race you,okay.
So you don't have to peel offwhen the light turns green or
think that someone's trying toto race you.
Have you noticed that?
Speaker 1 (45:00):
y'all no, I just trying to race me.
I drive a minivan, nobody isthinking.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
But I'm just racing them.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
So no, I have not noticed that.
I'll pay attention now, but Idon't think people think I'm
trying to race them in myminivan.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
They, they and this goes out to the only people that
are trying to race you or otherMustangs, other chargers, other
Camaros and other challengers.
Those are the only people thatare trying to race.
Okay, I'm not, so just stopwith the peeling off, all right,
that annoys.
It literally just happened lastnight.
(45:34):
We'll see, I'm sitting at thelight and literally it was
raining and they just He'll raceit in the rain.
Racing in the right and I threwmy hand up.
I said I knew it, it was a dogor challenger.
It was a challenger.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
So Okay, challenger Everybody not trying to
challenge you.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Everybody is not trying to.
So stop, that's just my.
You know my random rent of theday.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
So, folks, whether you want it to or not, you now
know a couple of things thatannoy us, that are some pet
peeves of ours.
What are your pet peeves?
What are the things that can berational they can be rational
that just really get to you.
Tell us about it.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Tell us, tell us, please, please, please, please,
guys you know, let us know.
Interact with us.
Let us know how you like theshow, what we could do better.
Tell us about your pet peeves.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
I don't know that I want you out of.
Tell me what I can do better.
But okay, you think you doeverything.
I don't think I do everything.
Well, but I don't know that I'mquite ready for the criticism
of either.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Okay, well, don't give us criticism.
I just get in guys like we canstop you.
We can't, we can't, but youknow, I just again.
I tell you this all the time Ilove doing this podcast cause
you know, you can just talk andwe can just talk random things
(47:04):
and, you know, share ourthoughts about our pet peeves.
Yeah, when we pull up to thelight, the challengers, you know
thinking that we're trying tochallenge him.
You know the charcuterie boardswith wings, donuts, that yo.
We have found out to them thatshe, she despises that.
So, guys, please don't do that.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Describes, is the well probably an appropriate
word.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
Never mind, yeah, you despise it.
Um, but yeah, guys, just let usknow how you, how you like the
show.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
That's what you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Hit that subscribe button, guys.
And so this week we arespotlighting who turn on your
notifications.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yes, we are spotlighting Amy Smith filter
services in Charlotte and Fortmeal.
Amy Smith to pre on Facebookand a Smith underscore here for
housing on IG.
Again a Smith underscore herefor housing on Instagram, and
we'll share all of those in ourInstagram and in our show notes
(48:11):
so you can be in touch with Amyif you're in Charlotte or Fort
meal or Fort meal.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Yeah, she's doing, she's doing good.
He has a little billboard on 77.
Go Amy.
So Amy, my cousin, is doing bigthings, Our well bankers.
So yeah, check her out again.
You know, this is probably oneof our favorite segments right
(48:38):
it is.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
It is.
We know great people doinggreat things and we wanted to
talk about them.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
So check her out again.
All of this will be on the sitein our show notes and on our
Instagram.
Again, another great podcast,and, as you know, I love doing
this.
Love it, love it, love it, loveit To subscribe to us and let
(49:02):
us know how we're doing, and sowe will see you again when yo.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
See you Fridays in the group chat.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
See you in the group chat.
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