Husband and Father // Building a Godly Family, Part 7

We men are a funny breed – we have the whole provider and protector thing going on inside us. And you know something, if we know how to live that out in a godly way, we can be such a blessing to our families.

We men are a funny breed. There's something deep inside us that makes us the protectors and providers for our families. Most men, not all but most men are programmed, hard wired, to provide and protect. Yet these days, women so often work and bring an income into the house and that's great but it tends to be the man, the husband, the father who carries the burden of protection and provision for his family around in his heart.

That's why, when things are financially tough, so many men take it personally. I was talking to a good friend of mine recently who had been counselling many of his friends in the financial services industry; men who had lost so much of their wealth through the financial crisis. Many of them were contemplating suicide. Why is that I asked him? And he said, "Well, here's the strange thing. By any global standard you'd have to say these men are still very wealthy. But through the loss they feel like such failures."

It's kind of how we are as men. And even though we men can so often get things wrong and become all dominating and reclusive and uncommunicative and even down right abusive, you know there's something special about the way that God’s made us. There's something inside us that wants to lead and that … that thing is a real asset to our families.

It's such a blessing to have a godly family. You know what comes from a godly family? A peaceful home and that is such a blessing, an incredible blessing – to walk in the front door, shut the door and know that we have, on this side of that door, peace. I love this passage from the prophet Isaiah in the Old Testament.

The effect of righteousness will be peace and the result of righteousness - quietness and trust forever. My people (says God) will abide in peaceful habitation in secure dwellings and in quiet resting places. (Isaiah chapter 32, verses 17 & 18)

Now, I don't know about you but I want that: peaceful habitation, secure dwelling, quiet resting place. And funnily enough that fits so well with the thing that we men have hard wired inside us somewhere, to be the protector and the provider. Because if we really thought about it that's the sort of home we'd like to provide for our families. I certainly would.

And that snug fit, that kind of 'hand in glove' thing that's happening here between God’s promise of the peaceful home and the man’s desire to provide and protect, you know what that tells me? It tells me that we men, husbands and fathers, we have a big role to play in bringing that blessing of peace to pass.

That's something I'd like to unpack today on the program because if the truth be known, there is more than one man listening today, for whom it's time to step up to the plate and be a man. To be the man God made him to be in his family: to protect, to provide, to bring peace and blessing to our homes.

There's this notion these days of the man being the head of the household is not particularly popular. It's not politically correct. But the reality is that the man’s protector/provider kind of strength fits him well for that role. Not to dominate people, not to abuse his power but to be a godly leader of the home. And here's the key, it's in that adjective "godly".

An ungodly husband and father can be such a destructive force in the home because he's so strong. His anger is so fierce. It's part of who he is as a man. A father can be destructive. Have a listen to this bit of Godly advice from the apostle Paul in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4. He says:

Fathers, do not (do not) provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

You see the two sides of the coin there? The strength that he has can let dad bring his kids up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. It's a great strength but it can be misused to provoke his children to anger. Godly strength wrongly applied becomes a harsh reality. And where there is harsh judgement and treatment from an ungodly man in the home, there can be no peace.

The other mistake we make, in the 21st century context, is the mistake of abdication. Many a father and husband walks away from his role as the leader of the home. And that's sad. Because as a godly leader he can bring such an incredible peace and stability and safety and order in the chaotic thing we sometimes call family.

The three most common reasons why we men sometimes abdicate are these. Firstly – we're just plain exhausted. We're working long hours to pay the mortgage and we just can't be bothered. We've got nothing left.

Secondly – it's not politically correct anymore for him t