A Thousand Tiny Steps

Baylie’s story is one of a night with friends gone wrong and how a series of choices lead to her death. From the police, to the hospital, to the investigation, to fighting to pull her off life support because she didn’t want that was a rollercoaster. It was so much more traumatizing than it had to be. But it inspired Shawnee to start a foundation, advocate for college safety, having a will, and writing a book to make s...

Skyler’s story is full of ups and downs from having a rocky childhood to getting pregnant while addicted to then finding sobriety with a husband that supports her. Through her journey she has posted on social media sharing her story, most recently of the last words she said to her mom and the things that will stick with her for a lifetime.

Key Takeaways:

[1:48] My parents were addicts, bei...

As I got into an argument with Gracie, it made me dive deeper into a topic that’s not talked about enough: sibling grief. People often focus more on the parent’s and not the child that has just lost the person they spent their formative years with. This can cause Gracie and I to have very different views and ways of grieving, but it has also opened my eyes on how to be more understanding. 

Key Takeaways:

This week, I sat down with my sister Eleanor who had a very different upbringing than me considering our father was 82 when she was born. She talks about the judgements people have, having to work hard to forge connections in the family, and how she looks past ageism to come from a place of understanding. 

Key Takeaways:

[2:58] My dad was 82 when I was born, but my childhood was normal 

In this episode, I just ask for you to sit with me in grief of losing my child. My thoughts on the birth of all my children, what I love, what I miss, and why dates are so important to people who are grieving. I contemplate Jack’s personality and the parts of both Molly and Gracie I can see in him. 

Key Takeaways:

[1:37] Jack’s birthday and my children’s births 

[4:53] Dates a...

Michelle and I sat down to have a conversation on her work with the nervous system, biofeedback, neurofeedback, traumatic responses, and addressing the root of a problem. She takes on work that’s not traditional in a therapist’s office, but is so needed because of the mind/body connection. 

Key Takeaways:

[3:15] Michelle is a complementary therapist and looking at the nervous system 

When Amy’s best friend's parents were murdered she suddenly didn’t just have a brother, but three new siblings who needed a lot of help after the trauma. That left Amy in limbo with her family dynamics and not feeling like she had a place. It shaped her identity as she went on to become a therapist.

Key Takeaways:

[2:33] Amy’s friends parent was murdered and suddenly they were all living w...

I got to talk with Emily, a former runner of mine who was a highliner, dealt with Lyme Disease, chatted about how the cycle of trauma can continue, and the life that she’s living now. A nomadic one with more freedom to run her own business and take of her own life. 

Key Takeaways:

[2:33] How Emily got into highlining 

[12:09] Dealing with Lyme disease 

[20:37] Spl...

In this episode, I talk about my season of guests, how the podcast has changed, and debating what will happen in the future with the podcast. I have some amazing guests lined up who are all in some way connected to me. 

Key Takeaways:

[3:28] My first season was about Jack and the second was about Molly

[4:21] My third season about trauma and the fourth season was about being a...

Filing a lawsuit came with its trials and tribulations, but it also came with a check: dead Molly money. It has taken me so much time to process Molly’s death and put together a foundation. I have finally decided it’s time to really make the foundation into something, instead of just giving money away because doing so will help the true spirit of Molly. 

Key Takeaways:

[1:45] Having to be ...

This week, I sat down with my friend Jenn, a teacher who has helped create a thrift store and a period program for students. The Red Dot Program helps people have access to all types of period products and clothing without having to go to the nurse or make a big announcement. 

Key Takeaways:

[2:56] What the Red Dot Program is and Jenn’s first period 

[7:22] Periods are not tak...

I’m just angry. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling angry when it comes to certain trauma, but I’m learning new ways to mitigate it. In this episode, I dig into what people think anger is, how I’m mad at myself, and why it’s okay to be angry, but what really matters is how you express it.

Key Takeaways:

[2:07] I make plans, they don’t go my way, I know they won’t, and then I get angry 

Period poverty and the stigma surrounding getting products, learning how to use them, and having them on you is an uphill battle. People miss school, sports events, and other important life activities all because they might not be able to afford period products or are too ashamed to ask for free ones. 

Key Takeaways:

[2:07] The pop culture movies that shaped how many women feel about perio...

When you hear the word period, what word comes to mind? Probably not something happy or optimistic. It’s most likely something rooted in misogyny or self-hatred. There is still so much stigma surrounding periods today and how they are seen as something gross. They are seen as something to be hidden. 

Key Takeaways:

[5:49] Starting my period and how people feel about them when they hear the...

Birth control is big business and they will do anything to make a profit, even if it means putting people’s lives at risk. I looked into the historical and political aspects of the pill as well as the most dangerous ones. In the episode, I reveal the lies told to women about birth control and how it should all fall on us. 

Key Takeaways:

[2:01] My period and experience with birth control 

I went to Bali for a month and it was the most unexpected experience. I saw the juxtaposition of wealth and poverty as well as pollution. But I also saw a culture of respect, beauty, and it opened up conversations in ways I could never talk about here. It helped me finalize my plans for the new year. 

Key Takeaways: 

[2:22] Expats in Bali 

[3:52] Seeing poverty next to wealth 

I watched a movie that went through how IVF was invented and it made me reflect on my IVF journey as well. But just because the science in the movie was real, does not mean anything else was. All the relationships, drama, and other mini storylines were made up to make - a good story. 

Key Takeaways: 

[2:15] My IVF journey 

[7:50] Often in religion women are seen as less than i...

Wow, the amount of movies that take someone’s life and completely misrepresent it? Too many to count. It hurts the lives of the people who the movie was made about, but also anyone that is like them. Because if they believe the story, they get false ideas in their head. 

Key Takeaways: 

[3:05] The Pocahontas movie was a downright lie 

[7:13] The I, Tonya movie was exaggerated 

As Christmas is upon us, I decided to dig up some lies on it, along with some of my childhood memories and how Christmas has differed for my kids. The biggest lie of all? When Jesus’s birthday occurs and what actually went down. I suppose it shall just remain another mystery. Happy Holidays. 

Key Takeaways: 

[3:05] My best Christmas time memory as a child 

[6:32] Finding out S...