Peeking into the Kingdom: A Story About Rock Climbing El Capitan's East Buttress in Yosemite, Piss Ants, and Fatherhood

In an era of two-hour Nose ascents and El Capitan Free Solos here is a story about two middle-aged friends who climbed an intermediate route and it took all day. In fact, this story isn’t about climbing in as much as it is about life itself. The crux comes early when a drunk stranger poses a question, makes a prediction, and then walks away. This story relates to anybody who has ever wondered if they would spend their silver years camping alone.

Author’s Note: The East Buttress is technically part of El Capitan but it makes up the shoulder of the formation. Therefore, if you climb the East Buttress of El Cap the only folks who will say that you climbed “El Capitan” will be your parents. Unless your parents are rock climbers.

In this story, the protagonist urinates on a belay tree covered in ants and is subsequently punished by Mother Nature. The protagonist must have felt that he was not in a position to hold it or move. I am sure he regrets it now and would never do that again. The moral -  Don’t whizz at the belay because it disrespects the other beings - like rock climbers and ants.

 

To read about this route from the legend, please see the article titled John Long’s Favorite 5.10.

 

Music Attribution (in order)

Benevolence - Seeking Madras available at http://seekingmadras.bandcamp.com

Taodella - Blue Dot Sessions (Creative Commons)

Closet Interlude - Blue Dot Sessions (Creative Commons)

Lakeside Path - Blue Dot Sessions(Creative Commons)

Acid Jazz - Kevin MacLeod (Creative Commons)

Slamming On The Brakes - Spencer Radclifffe (Creative Commons)

In The Afternoon - Seeking Madras

 

Peeking into the Kingdom was written and produced by Wes Davis for Adventure Airwaves Podcast, December 2018

Ambient Sounds used on this episode can be found at FreeSound.org