HBP, 14 Revisit: Caterpillarhorn

On Episode 369 we discuss…→ Getting lost on the way to class
→ The nightmare of flesh eating trees
→ Everything you wanted to know… and maybe not know about potatoes
→ What Hermione’s and Ron’s house looks like in the future
→ We want to know your most awkward encounter
→ Harry’s a fabulous third wheel
→ No one dates at Hogwarts
→ We love you, late bloomers
→ Everyone’s childhood is ruined
→ Harry forgets that people have other things going on it their heads
→ Gossip, ghoul
→ Nixon’s Quidditch-gate
→ Alison discovers something new

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/alohomora-the-original-harry-potter-book-club--5016402/support.

Episode Transcript

(00:17):
This is episode three hundred and sixtynine of alohomra for March eleventh, twenty
twenty three. Welcome to another episodeof Alohomore, the fandom's original Harry Potter

(00:41):
book Club. I'm Rex Hadden,I'm Alison Sigurd, and I'm Cat Miller.
And our guest today is no strangerto Alohoma. Your friend and ours
Tyler Starr, the co author ofthe Unofficial Harry Potter Vegan cookbook and creator
of the Protago Foundation. Hi Tyler, Hello friends. This is going to
be so exciting. I think everybodyknows that Half of Prince is my favorite

(01:02):
book, So what an invite toget very excited to be here. And
I think when you and I werechatting about you coming on the episode,
we figured out had been three yearssince you've been on this show, which
is crazy. Yeah, very long, tiime flies, But it's nice to
see such an amazing show, likea little more continue the fandom's original book

(01:25):
like rereading podcasts like oh my Gosh, I Love You. Also always an
honor to be here almost eleven years. Man, it's a long time.
Yeah, it's a long time.Yeah. And I don't know if you
know this or not, but weare getting back to our roots and we're
just doing chapter episodes again and wehave an exciting one today. As you

(01:45):
mentioned your favorite book, Half BloodPrince, Chapter fourteen Felix felicis the first
time we talked about this. Okay, this, this always makes me feel
so old when I say these dates. But it was episode one hundred and
forty two from April eleventh, twentyfifteen, Crazy with Myself, Eric,
Michael, and Allison. So ifyou are looking for even more from chapter

(02:08):
fourteen Half Blood Prints, listen tothat episode before you enjoy this one.
I don't remember how long that episoderecording went, and I don't think I
want to know how long that episoderecording. I mean with the four I
mean, yes, the four mosttalkative people in the history of this podcast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ifthat episode is under two hours,

(02:31):
I'd be surprised. And I betthe raw recording is like three and a
half. Ye, no joke,easily. Yes, Well, it's who
we are. We own it,friends, we own it. It is
a lohle More after all, Yesit is. And this episode is sponsored
by Emily on Patreon, who isa two time sponsor, and if you

(02:57):
want to become a patren on patreonon you just go to patreon dot com
slash Aloha mourra on it. Youcan see our faces when we record.
You can see the four of us. You can see Cat's bald head.
Hey man, I got hair onlyfrom certain making me self conscious. You
said it before we started recording,and I wanted to throw it in there.

(03:22):
Um. But we also have adfree listening to the episodes. We
have bonus content. There are otherthings on there probably that I should probably
make a list of to mention,But it's fun over there. It just
costs two bucks a month to join, or two hundred pennies or eight quarters

(03:43):
how many days whatever the conversion isto your nations currency. That was That
was great. You definitely convinced alot of people to come sign up for
our Patreon. Appreciate that, palgood. I tried. And before we
dive into our episode today, wehave to give our shout out Maxima from
episode three hundred and sixty seven wherewe talked about a chapter in order of

(04:06):
the Phoenix, and I don't rememberwhich one it is because I forgot to
write that down. Luna, Lovegod, that's the one I knew it was
something like that, And so ourcomment comes from dis Kid. This is
kind of the conversation we were havingabout Ron being a prefect and kind of

(04:27):
what was going on there, Andso dis Kid says, Ron, it
seems to be both a mix ofachievement and power for why he enjoys it
it being a prefect, not tosay he's a power hungry. I don't
believe we see him abuse his powerjust to be a bossy butt, which
I love that just that Ron isthe youngest brother and has five older brothers,
two of them being the princesters ofthe family, where he's the only

(04:49):
brother younger than them, so he'sbasically been the butt of all the jokes
his whole life and feeling powerless.I'm sure he gets a thrill out of
finally being in a position of controlwhere no one can pick on him because
he's at the bottom. Now he'sin a more respectable position, and of
course, being the youngest of thebrothers, achievement and the sense of importance
is very important to him, aswe see in the Mirror of Air set

(05:10):
his first year. Being a prefectis an achievement as it gives you a
sense of importance. British users,please correct me if what I heard was
biased. But I have heard frommy British friends that becoming a prefect is
more to do with favoritism than itdoes academic achievement and responsibility what Percy would
have considered to be the route toget there. I have one friend whose
knows is still bent out of shapebecause despite being top of her class,

(05:33):
she was not selected to be prefectof her year because she was not the
headmaster's favorite student. If this isindeed the case, I'm sure that gave
Ron a little thrill to feel likeDumbledore considered him a valued student even though
he knows perfectly well Harry is thefavorite. Definitely, this has a lot
of merit I think. I meanRon being kind of pleased that he's picked

(05:55):
over Harry, I think is abig part of some of his excitement when
he gets that that at last,he's finally kind of the one who's at
the top. Yeah. I wishwe had a brit on the show now
to confirm if that is the actualcase, although I feel like let's just
pretend that it is, because thatvalidates diss dis Kid's argument here and I

(06:19):
actually think it's probably right, andisn't it. I forget what book it's
in. I think it's at theend of Order. I think it's at
the end of Order of the Phoenixin the Last Prophecy, actually, when
Dumbledore is talking about please forgive mefor not making a freak back, yes,
that you had enough, right,So I think that that probably maybe
confirms that at least a little bit. Yeah, I mean I think it

(06:42):
probably depends on the school if it'sfavorite, so we're not, you know,
I think that's a probably a schoolby school basis, But definitely I
think it's one of those funny thingswhere it fulfills part of what Ram sees
in the Mirror of Air said inthe first book. So just let Ron
be happy. Let Ron be happy. I mean, he gets there eventually,

(07:06):
I know, does he. Hedoes. Ron has a great life.
But another thing we talked about onthe episode that someone brought up and
I was so excited they did.Um absent minded Raven brought up that a
twenty minute walk is probably about amile, and we were trying to guess

(07:28):
where Grimald places in relation to King'sCross because they walk about twenty minutes from
Grimald Place to get to King's Cross. So we had the map pulled up
and we were looking at the radiusaround Kings Cross to try and figure out
where that might be. So doyou guys have any guesses because you weren't
on that episode. I don't knowLondon geography. I have the thing in

(07:54):
the dock if I could talk.Yeah, So, um, that's that's
the filming location. It's in ClaremontSquare in Islington, which is like eight
tenths of a mile from King's Crosswalking distance yesterday and I tried to find
there was an article, so I'vebeen there. That's how I knew that

(08:18):
that's where the filming location was,and I knew that it was in a
twenty minute walk of King's Cross.But I was trying to find actual evidence
for the book canonical location, andthere really isn't one. A couple of
articles mentioned that the author said itwas in Islington, but I feel like
that's probably just an assumption that peoplehave made because of the filming location.

(08:39):
But I'm perfectly fine to just saythat it's in Islington and call it a
day. I mean, it's it'swithin twenty minutes, and that's where they
filmed. So yeah, we werewe were debating where, like what area
of London it might be in considerit's supposed to be kind of almost seedy
and such, and I still kindof like it being down more almost in

(09:01):
Bloomsbury area because you've got like DickensHouse, the Dickens Museum and stuff,
which I think is fun. Butit is a little farther I think than
that. All I can compare itto is like a Universal Studios, where
the walk from King's Cross to numberyou know, to Grimmall Place, it
is like five seconds. Yeah,literally like three steps when you're there.

(09:24):
So I like to think of it'sjust right there. If you walk really
slowly, it will take about twentyminutes. Yeah, there you go,
winding back and forth. I wasgonna say, how that wouldn't even be
considered a walk. It is rightif you go all the way to the
other theme park and come back attaking twenty minute, go through San Francisco,
go around Simpsons Land, pass menin black and there you go.

(09:46):
Someone's gonna have to test that forus plans. Just let us know,
tell us how long it takes whatto like walk around that way on Universal
would probably take about that long.Just for me living in Orlando for two
years. I haven't been there inso long I don't remember. I haven't

(10:09):
been there since I moved to Chicago. Yeah, twenty seventeen for me,
so it's been a while. OhI was there in yeahs ago. Okay,
why didn't you do it? Rubit in? I'll do it next
time. He's going to La andthere's no Diagon, so I'm sorry,
sorry, you have to go tothe lesser one. I think, Okay,

(10:31):
we're going off in a tangent,but I think that huts meat is
better than the Orlando Huts met anyway, Yeah, false, dear you,
I mean false. The only thingis is Orlando has diagon Alley, which
is clearly superior. But anyway,that's a that's a different story. Well,
thank you everybody for your comments onthat episode. We had a great

(10:52):
time. And if you want tocontinue the conversation, if you want to
tell us where you think Grimald places, head on over to Alomar dot com
to do that three times? Shoulddo it? Chapter revisits So it's a

(11:13):
fourteen A puck no FeliCa, Ifeli. So let's get to our chapter
summaries so we can get into thisreally interesting and fun chapter. Harry tells

(11:33):
Run and Hermione about his lesson withDumbledore from the evening before, during a
particularly athletic herbiology lesson. Between momentsof diving and squeezing and clutching, the
conversation turns to the next slug clubparty, which happens to be for the
Christmas holidays. In our very firstmoment in the chapter of Jealousy materializes.
Days pass in the first quidditch matchof the year approaches, Harry's first as

(11:56):
captain. The match presents a plethoraof issues, from Ron's lack of confidence
to the team's lack of a thirdchaser. Harry solves both issues with quick
decisions, and despite Malfoy's sudden andpoorly explained absence, the match goes off
without a hitch almost So it's afun one. I want to point out

(12:20):
first off, before we jump intoanything per usual as I do, I
need to plug full circle, especiallybecause Tyler is here and we talked about
half boot Prints together and it wasso good. If you want to go
listen to it for this chapter,it's episode six eleven. The opposite of
this one of this chapter is chapternineteen, which is elf Tales. So

(12:41):
if you know that chapter at all, you can immediately think of probably half
a dozen circles between the two.I'm definitely gonna bring some up, and
you all can groan as you're listening, because yes, of course we're going
to talk about ring composition. I'msorry. You should just come to expect
it when I'm on the show,folks, That's all. But the chapter
has more interesting stuff than just that. In Yeah, it's quite the chapter.

(13:03):
I I think for a minute whenI was like, oh, this
is the chapter we're doing, Iwas like, Oh, it's the chapter
where he actually takes the Felix plices. And I'm like, no, that's
that's not the chapter. But it'sit's a very teenage chapter, I would
say, very much more focused onthat. And something I picked up at

(13:26):
the very beginning here is I it'sbeen a minute since I've read Half Blood
Prints all the way through, butthe weather in this book is always so
indicative of kind of what's going onin the bigger world. So they talk
about specifically there's a brutal wind that'sdied down, but there's this weird mist
that's covering everything, and they can'tfind the greenhouse. And this made me

(13:50):
laugh because I was like, they'vebeen here for six years and you can't
find the greenhouse, Like, howlong have you been going to school and
going to these greenhouses? Kids?Do you think it's just because of the
weather? Is like obstructing their view? I mean, I think that's what
it's supposed to be saying. Buteven still, I'm like, sure,
it can't be that big, likethat big of a distance to get to

(14:13):
the greenhouses to what you're trying tosay, Allison. When I was an
undergrad, I had a psych classin a building in Iowa City and I
never knew where that class was theentire semester. I was lost in that
building. I believe it was VanAllen Hall for anyone that goes to Iowa,

(14:35):
But like, I was just losttwice a week stroll in the halls
trying to find the right staircase.Did you pass that class? I did
pass the class. You did passjust because finding the class was not a
fact for the grade. Otherwise itwould have been a different story. If

(14:58):
they saw me just looking around,Yeah, they're like, wow, I'm
not gonna lie I have had thatas a nightmare multiple times, semi recently,
that I'm like getting lost going toa college class and can't find it.
So the fact that you lived thatis like stressing me out. Ok,
it gets better. I don't getlost now, I'm not even in

(15:22):
college anymore. Why am I stressingabout that? Well, you sort of
which is not like on a campus. Well, yeah, it's different.
Oh no, I can't find whatyou are l to go to if it's
like an online school or something thelinks. Oh no no. But like
to your pointing here, Allison aboutthe greenhouses, maybe I'm just blanking on

(15:46):
it. Did it say that theyjust couldn't find them in general or was
there a specific greenhouse that they werehaving difficulty finding, Because we know that
there are different there are different greenhouses, so maybe they're maybe that part of
it. Yeah, so he saidhe it says he filled them in as
they walked across the vegetable patch towardsthe greenhouses. The weekends, brutal wind

(16:08):
had died out at last, theweird mist had returned, and it took
them a little longer than usual tofind the correct greenhouse. So, okay,
I'll give him a pass. Itjust made me laugh. But I
was like, this is your sixthyear here, So are you saying like
they were supposed to go to Greenhousenumber four or whatever, but they didn't

(16:29):
know what was number four, sothey went to number two. It doesn't
say that. I think it's sayingthat in the mist they had a hard
time finding the right one. Somaybe they were like, oh, I
can't see Greenhouse five, so Ithink it's I'm at Greenhouse three, but
I'm actually at Greenhouse two. Idon't know. Wouldn't it be amazing?
I just I don't know why.I guess because we were talking about dreams

(16:51):
and things, as garis. Wouldn'tit be amazing if some of that weird
miss was like the weird mist fromthe Maze in the Triwizard Tournament left literally
unrelated. That's what I was thinking. I was like at the beginning of
this book. In the Other Minister, he says, we've been having all
this miss because the dementors are breeding. So is it I'm pretty sure that's

(17:12):
a call back to that. Yeah, they spawn up and it creates like
this miss. Yeah, maybe you'rea little bit of I don't know,
dementors in the Earl and they don'tjust call it missed, they call it
weird. Yeah yeah, So evenfor Scotland in what is this November?

(17:33):
November? It's November by this time, right, yeah, gosh, I
need to do a form where inthere? Um so yeah, because it's
before Christmas. So even for Scotlandin November, it's weird. But could
it be dementors because they're on Hogwartsgrounds and of all the protective things,
I mean, I still think ifthere's enough missed, it could come through.

(17:56):
But where what the dementors? Isuppose missed and BCB right, yeah,
and I think that also thinking ofthe mist as maybe dementors. H
It's at what the weather's doing inthis book right on. This chapter is
a very like teenage drama each chapter, but there's still this like creeping sense

(18:18):
of this sinister stuff happening outside thatcomes through the weather here, which is
a really interesting way to do that. I do seem to recall Tyler and
I talking about the weather in thisbook a lot during Full Circle, because
it always seemed to be the oppositeof the tone of the chapter. So
like, because this one is allis all like lighthearted and wonderful Cat's weather

(18:41):
report was a thing. Yes,Cat's weather Report. Yeah, yeah,
no, interesting. Interesting. Butwhen did the Dementors join Voldemort? Um?
I think before the beginning of thisbook, because I'm pretty sure that
well they were quote unquote under ministrycontrol in book five. But obviously we're

(19:08):
taking orders from somebody else. Letme let me look, I'm looking.
I've got the book right here,so let me. I'd have to assume
it's between order and half lind somewherein there. Yeah, hence the mention
of it at the beginning of thisbook. And probably some of them were
already with Voldemort in book five.And maybe it was just like a cohesive,
because that would make sense if themist is like the Dementors breeding in

(19:32):
them, being like at Hogwarts,ycause the Dementors are just okay. So
in in the Other Minister, thePrime Minister says, I thought dementors guard
the prisons nurse at escaban. Theydid, said Fudge wearily, but not
anymore. They've deserted the prison andjoined he who must not be named.
I won't pretend that wasn't a blow. Yeah, so that's sometime over the

(19:56):
summer, yes, okay, sodementors could just be like flying around.
Yeah, that sucks. I don'tlike that. Really, we can attribute
all the angst to just a faraway to mentor somewhere. It's fine,
it's not it's just far away tomentors. They have an impact. But

(20:18):
getting back to the kind of what'shappening here, Um, this herbology lesson
is a really fun herbology lesson.I mean it's crazy, but it's fun
and snargluff stumps, which is afun thing to say. I feel like
they never I mean they show upagain, but we never really get an

(20:41):
explanation of what they're for, howthey came to be, like, what
their purpose is for existing. Andas far as I know, I don't
think there's much like fairy tales oranything or folklore that would that includes any
thing like this. So zilch.Yeah, Um I did. I did

(21:06):
all sorts of research per usual,Hello Raven Claus, and um came up
with, as Alison just said,remarkably little. Uh. We do see
them again in Hallows. They're usedduring the Battle of Hogwarts. Um Sprout
is throwing them at death Eaters andthey're like exploding on their heads and then
one is growing at the Love GoodsHouse. Um, I did want to

(21:27):
point out which I feel like thisis the only thing that could potentially give
us some clue as to what theyare. Uh. They are found in
the book Flesh Eating Trees of theWorld, which I found is very interesting
and that's a really good question.Why do I have to be afraid of

(21:48):
trees? Now? Otherwise it's avery short book, right, probably seven
because that's a magical number, rightat least. Yeah, But they are
also referred to as tubers, Sothen I went down the research hole about
tubers. Okay, what is atuber? Of course, potatoes are tubers.
Those are the ones that everybody knowsthe most. This is so boring

(22:11):
and people are like fast forward bastards. But tubers basically are like the fat
stem of a plant that holds ontothe nutrients during dormancy and it does help
grow new plants. That's something.Yeah, that's so exciting. Good information.
And also they are described as wrigglingtubers, which sounds is like kind

(22:33):
of gross, and I wondered doesthat provide a benefit? Are they alive?
Oh? Is no one here?Yeah? Yeah, but that's it.
That's that's the extent of my snargleleft. And they also they have

(22:57):
to be juiced, which suggests tome they're like, there's juicy, you
know, like a potato is notsuper juicy, like it has liquid obviously,
but it's not like I'm gonna juicethis potato. Oh I'm gonna I
gare you know, I'm not.I'm not going to argue with you,

(23:17):
but I'm gonna google YouTube juicing apotato, and I will tell you that
the first thing that came up isconsuming potato juice to get amazing health benefits.
Oh just potatoes. That just andthis person says they got they got
a new juicer and they are goingto juice the potatoes. So have you

(23:38):
ever been a raw potato? Iimagine that it is like like drinking that
I've a potato. I used tolike to eat raw potatoes when I was
a kid, So but that's notI can't imagine that would be pleasant to
drink. I mean, people drinkraw potatoes like an apple. No,
like slices of raw poto, Likemy mom would be making mashed potatoes and

(24:03):
chopping them up, and I steala piece of potato. Oh yeah,
I'd definitely an apple or a potato, like an apple before. I think
it's because yeah, yeah, Ithink I read somewhere that when I was
a kid that they they're a reallygood thing. If you like don't have
access to water, they can helplike keep you from getting dehydrated. Well,

(24:26):
they're a tuber and they hold ontonutrients during dormancy and help grow plants.
You're not wrong, You're on tosomething. Yeah, well, but
the star bluff pods unpleasantly pulsating greenobject about the size of a grapefruit,
Like what the hedge and the tubersare inside the pod? Right? Yes,

(24:47):
correct, and then they're all gross. You have to the pod,
right, yes, yeah, therewas a lot of steps to this.
But where did you get the nameof this plant? Se? I could
not find it in the chapter theysay they spent like once they take the

(25:08):
pot out, the stump becomes inout of it, right, yes?
Is the pod like their brain?Oh you know what I mean? Like
we just extracted the central nervous systemfrom this magical plant who at one point
was like fighting us off to belike hey stop, don't steal my brain.

(25:29):
And then we take this pod andthen the Stump's just like, oh
and I'm dead, you know,like, why, well, is it
because it knows it lost? They'vegot to have more than one because they
go at it again. Yeah,okay, sure, yeah. Maybe it's
like Doctor Who, and it's theheart and not the brain and there are

(25:52):
multiple Oh okay, this is anothergross description. The bulb was full of
tubers wriggling like pale green worms.Oh well, yeah, it's a gross
Moving on. These are gross andum the the name of the snorglof um
comes. It's right on the firstpage of bro page two seventy nine.

(26:17):
Yeah, I'm grabbing my book.Wow, scary, thought the boy you
know who, said ron quietly,as they took their places around one of
the near old snarglofs. It isI legit spent. I don't know.
I'm not going to say countless hoursbecause that makes it seem like I truly
just did this for like three daysstraight. It's also one page two spent

(26:38):
like a good like twenty minutes.It's on the top of page two eighty
three as well. Just for theYeah, for the FYI. Also,
this is a whole terms project thatthey're dealing with. These Oh my gosh,
what a workout. Really, itsays that term, yeah wow,

(26:59):
and that's the I can't date.But I believe I've stated that before that
I just can't read, So I'mnot that shocking. And what do you
do for your muggle work? RexI and the speech therapist? But I
help children talk kind of like whenthey get your reading. That's kind of
when I stop with them personally,which is like, now you help me

(27:21):
because I can't read. I dolove a couple of things though, in
this first little bit one Nevill beinggreat at her biology, like we love
a moment of Neville being amazing,and then I love that Rawn mentions here
he says I won't have these whenI have my own place, which I

(27:44):
think is like, oh, that'sjust a cute little look at how much
they're growing up. I'm really showinghow much of a shift this book is,
as they basically become adults in alot of ways in these two in
this book and and Deathly Hallows,where I mean, Ron is starting to
think about when he has his ownplace away from the borough and what his

(28:07):
life is going to be like.And that's well a moment later on in
this book Hermione and Ron become ofage, Yes, they do. Hermione
already is at this point actually,oh yeah, November. I also do
have to wonder if this has beena constant thought for Ron his entire life.

(28:30):
Right, we know what the boroughis like, we know how cramped
it is, and all these differentthings. I have to wonder if this
isn't the first time that Ron hasfantasized about his own place and the dreams
that he has for it, justbased on how he's how he's lived,
you know, Yeah, yeah,I mean, because right, all of

(28:52):
those things. He has never reallyloved his life at the Borough. He's
always felt inconsequential and hated, hate, being poor and all that stuff.
So yeah, I suppose that makessense. He could be looking forward to
having the nice things and he wouldsee this as not a nice thing because
it's a scary planted bite back basically, I mean speaking of scary things and

(29:14):
biting back feeling. Um. So, while they're while they're dealing with a
snargf puff pod stump whatever it is, um, Hermione starts talking about Slughorn's
party. We get the first mentionof the name the Slug Club, and

(29:40):
Ron is so jealous you could seeit from space. He's really upset and
he's like, oh, I betyour hanging out with McLagan all the time,
and let Slughorn make you King andQueen slug, which is gross so
petty. Which those were actual titlesfor Slug Club members though, King and

(30:03):
Queen slug. Yeah, like prefact, Oh what a horrible would be kind
of fun. Actually, I justthink that's a funny like phrase. I
also think slug Club is a verystupid name, though, Oh I think
it's hilarious. What else would youcall it? Yeah, I think it's
wonderful and it's great. So you'reon your own here, but what else

(30:25):
would you I think? Like whatyou call it? I just don't think
like slugs are fun. Like picka color bug like caterpillar Club, because
then you get the alliteration. Butit's slug Horns Club could have been named
caterpillar Horn. Dude, what arewe talking about different names for? I

(30:52):
don't like the name slug Club.I think it's stupid. It should be
another bug like caterpillar, so youcan be caterpillar horn anyway. How do
you how do you suppose that pillarhorn a T E R P. I

(31:15):
L L. Yeah, caterpillar horn. That just sounds terrible. That was
the first bug that came to mymind. There's probably a cooler bug,
caterpillar whatever. I'm adding it tothe list of potential titles. So if
we all like that at the end, you're going to be the one responsible

(31:37):
for that, and everybody's gonna know. Sorry, not sorry. I need
to fight someone because who put inthe dock she deserves mclaggett. I hate
fighting. I hate I hate Rounso much we're fighting. I was just
like Ron to me, shows histrue colors in this book. Yeah,

(32:04):
like I was just like he tome. He's very selfish and he truly
wants it to go his way.And yeah, because he's a sixteen year
old, seventeen year old boy,I don't know, but I just don't
like that. Even when I wasa sixteen seventeen year old boy, I
thought he was annoying. See,I just I think he's just. But

(32:27):
I don't like men. No,I believe the last episode that I was
on that aired, Um, Isay, and I quote, I think
I don't like men. Well whata development anyway, So Hermione drops the

(32:52):
bomb that she was going to askRon, which this whole moment of Harry
trying to not be third wheel andlike get out of this awkward situation is
so funny to me because he's likebanging on the bowl and trying to make
as much noise as possible. Itis funny and he's it's I just I

(33:17):
love the scene because I can pictureit so clearly of Harry just like doing
the most insane things to be likejust stop this. And who hasn't been
that person who's been in an awkwardsituation, even if it's not like a
romantically awkward, just like awkward whereyou're like, oh my gosh, get
me out of this. I'm justgonna go do this or make noise over

(33:40):
here and talk him like text.Who hasn't been Harry yep, let us
know in the comments if you haven'tbeen, tell us your most awkward encounter
and how you hid yourself away fromit. Yeah, and maybe you'll be
future on the next episode of alohamor Um. But it's it's it's so

(34:07):
funny because then his next thought isif they get together, then they break
up and our friendship's over and Ilose them or they get together and they're
like Bill and Floor. No onecan be around them with all their PDA
and I lose them and it's like, oh, Harry, you are such
a third wheel. Yeah, andhe doesn't want to be orphaned again.

(34:30):
I know, Oh mom and dadare fighting. There has been a there's
a sound that's like trending all ofour TikTok and Instagram. I see it
occasionally. I don't use TikTok,but on Instagram. Um, and it's
like this song where it's like it'sjust you and me and you and me
and me and and like someone didn'tedit where it's Ron and Hermione and then

(34:52):
like Harry popped out in the background. Amazing. Perfect. That's exactly what
this situation is. People always thething of like from the movies, Dean
Thomas is always there when Ron Hermineyou have a moment, but it is
truly Harry is always there when theyhave a moment and they're just shoving him
out of frame. I do likein the movie how they kind of so

(35:15):
we obviously don't have this this scenein the film, but in the movie
we do have a very similar situationbetween Ron and Lavender and Harry's there as
a third Wheels compartment, and Harrydoes something very similar where he's like,
I am suddenly going to preoccupy myselfwith this arm rest thing. I'm just
gonna pull this down, and it'sjust like, okay, cool. The

(35:37):
movies don't capture Harry's true essence allthe time, but man, when when
they really nailed it with that one, especially after rereading this chapter, and
it's like, my boy names hadto distract himself, that's for sure.
It's like, I'm just gonna pretendI'm not here. He learned how to
do that in book two. I'llbe in my bedroom making no noise and

(35:58):
pretending I don't exist. He tookit to heart. I'll be standing on
the edges, pretending I don't exist. I thought it was interesting that throughout
this whole thing, when he's thinkingabout it and whatever, that he compares
their potential relationship to him and Showand how him and Show broke up and
now it's like weird and awkward.Yeah, but Harry's like forgetting that,

(36:21):
like Choe's friend ratted them out andcaused all this drama in book five.
Yeah, and also him and Showwere like nothing. Yeah, So do
you think if Marietta didn't snitch onDumbledore's army that it would be less awkward
because they had an awkward kissing scenein the Room of Requirement that would traumatize

(36:45):
me. I mean they did,but but I think if Marietta hadn't gone
through that, Harry and Choe mayhave lasted a little longer, and then
there would have been an actual comparison, like a reason for Harry to be
like, Wow, I hope theydon't end up like me and Show Well.
I feel like because he literally knowslike two couples, and that's him
and Chow and Bill and Fleur andyeah, that's it. You know,

(37:08):
other couples at Hogwarts no one prettymuch. That's all he knows. He
doesn't pay attention to anybody else.Oh, he does not know anything,
poor Harry Well. And to comparethis like their relationship to his and Shows
cho was like she had to havebeen suffering from like some kind of PTSD

(37:29):
losing sea. Obviously she was notin like the right mind, you know,
all these different things. It's justRon and her mind year just did
you know being sixteen year olds?Show was very much a fragile, broken
person. Harry like not the sameat all. Yeah, Harry's got a
lot going on in his head,though I think he forgets that other people

(37:51):
do too. Yeah, that's true, that's a good point. I did
laugh though again when he talks aboutthe next day that Ron Hermione are a
little politer than normal to each other, which definitely means they're dancing around each
other, because challenging each other andlike nitpicking a little bit is basically their

(38:14):
love language. Hit And so ifthey're they are dancing around the issue,
just kiss already, they will,they will sue It's okay. And then
we get a little bit later inthis chapter, the infamous chest monster arrives.

(38:37):
One of the best things in theYeah, speaking of other couples,
right, Jenny and Dean is truebrings this Chess Monster about. I actually
think this is a pretty apt descriptionof what this feels like. But I
know a lot of people give thisdescription a lot of crap. So what

(38:58):
do you guys think about it?Love love, love love the Chess Monster,
big fan. I don't know howthey would have been able to put
us off in the film, andobviously they didn't. But like this I
think is one of the biggest thingsmissing from the adaptation of this book,
because it does evoke so much emotionthat Harry has and helps us as the

(39:23):
reader, continue along and remind ourselvesof kind of what Harry's motivations are throughout
this book. And it's this creaturewho is sitting inside of him a feeling
that he doesn't have usually, andhow he's grappling with this and it's just
it's so fun whenever the chess Monstercomes up and I'm like, oh,

(39:45):
what does the Chess Monster feel?Now, it's so cool. Yeah.
I mean, for all of theteenage angst we get from the Half Blood
Prints adaptation, you're right, like, Harry is the one who feels none
of it. Really, everybody elseis failing the angst in that film,
and Harry's not because he's busy withthe Dumbledore and Tom. Yeah. And

(40:08):
do I think it's accurate. I'dhave to read the description, but yeah,
I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes, And I
think I think part of what makesit so accurate too, is that he's
like warring with himself about Ron andhis friendship with Ron and not wanting to

(40:30):
endanger that, which is fascinating tome. And so Ron and Jinny getting
a fight in the corridor, whichis actually a very well done sibling fight
because they both go straight for thejugular earth, They go straight for each
other's deepest insecurities and it's like,whoa, they do not play punches.

(40:54):
No, I know, that's whatsixteen and fifteen give her take up year
depending on what their birthday is,and they do not pull punches here.
It is It's a very well donesibling fight. Yeah, but Jenny makes
fun of Ron for being inexperienced inromantic things. Sorry, that was not

(41:21):
a suggestive cough. That was thatwas But I have always felt that this
is one hundred percent why Ron startsmaking out with Lavender after the quidditch match,
even though we just saw him obviouslyhaving feelings for Hermione, Am I

(41:44):
the only one who thinks this,because I've gotten mixed responses before. No,
it definitely increased Round's PDA because Jennybeing like, oh, the only
lady you snogged is was it AuntMuriel, Aunt Muriel, aunt Muriel or
Pig? And then he's just likeoh, people like like everyone knows that

(42:08):
I have not kissed someone he's like, Oh, I have a girlfriend.
You know what I'm going to dowith my girlfriend. I'm going to kiss
her everywhere, every square inch ofHogwarts they kissed at. I think too,
that if Jenny hadn't pressed very specificbuttons about Hermione and Victor or Harry

(42:31):
and show that, maybe he wouldn'thave reacted this way. But I will
say that, you know, um, I think it's perfectly fine. If
you haven't kissed somebody when you're fifteenor sixteen, that's okay, that's okay.
I didn't have my first real relationshipuntil I was in college. There's
nothing wrong with that. And like, you know, there there. I

(42:54):
will not get into the sexual talesthat my niece of twelve years old would
tell me about students at her school, but I find that kind of gross.
So like, I think it's okay. I think it's okay, perfect
somebody when you're fifteen or sixteen,it's fine. Yeah, it's fine,
don't worry about it, like bea kid, it's cool, it's fine.
So I think, yeah, Um, for whatever, for whatever Jinny's

(43:19):
reasons, I think the fight wasbad. And yes, Ron clearly was
just reacting to the buttons that Jinnypushed, they were the right buttons.
Also, speaking of not being ashamedif you haven't kissed someone when you're a
teenager as a teacher, yeah,it's not pretty none of you. No,
No, nobody wants that in theirlife. Forget it. No.

(43:40):
I have walked in on too manythings. I wish I could scrub for
my mind. I'm just gonna say, oh, not not. This is
not an episode of Alohomer After Dark, Allison. Not. That senior year
of high school, there was thiscouple that I'm assuming, well, I
they were always making out, likein front of my locker. So did

(44:07):
they have a locker near you ordid they just pick that spot I don't
know, or was it as asa school progress it was specifically you.
I became more physical with them.Oh god, that sounded really bad.
I was gonna say, like joiningin or what may more physical Like at

(44:28):
first started being like, excuse me, I need my locker to like me
just kind of like shoving them andbeing like I need to grab my book,
I need to walk from the secondfloor to the sixth floor. I
have five minutes to do it.This is a cardio workout that I'm about
to do, and you're going tomake me late for class. Yeah.
I used to have a couple thatwould make out right in front of my

(44:50):
door, my classroom door, andI'd be going to like stand by the
door to greet my students, andthey'd be standing there and I'd be like,
oh my gosh, and one ofthe kids was one of my my
kids. And then she'd be lateto class because she was standing outside the
doormaking out with her boyfriend. Iwas like, please go away, it's
not fun. So it sounds likeeverybody here is like not into the pas.

(45:14):
No, that's we're gathering only ifI'm a part of it. Like,
it's just like have I done PDAin place? Though? Right?
It's true? How does how doesJinny describe it? It's one of my

(45:34):
favorite descriptions ever. I think thatthey're that they're eating each other or something
like eating each other's faces. Right, that's specifically about rhyme. Yeah,
it looks like he's eating her face, doesn't it? Like? Yeah,
because this we this is his firsttime, right, Yes, he has
not made unless you're including aunt Muriel, Muriel, you know we're pig This

(46:00):
is his first time so the dude'sgoing for it, He's trying his best.
But I love that description because Iknow exactly maybe we've seen people do
that, maybe we've done that.I wasn't the best kisser when I started.
I probably looked like I was eatingsomebody's face. And I'm like,
good on you, Jenny, becauseI'm getting that vision, like I'm seeing

(46:22):
it. It's a good it's agood descriptor. Yeah, Jenny does paint
a very good visual. Yes,yes, it's very good. And then
we get another spectacular moment, which, by the way, first of all,
Hermione should be grateful that Ron perfectedhis technique before they got together so
she didn't have to deal with herface getting eaten. But instead she once

(46:45):
again gives us some spectacular revenge whenshe is truly angry with these birds that
she conjures and has attacked him.Which, first of all, it is
not an accident that they came intothat classroom. We all know this,

(47:07):
right, do we agree? Thisis not an accident? Like was it
like a Lavender power move? LikeI don't know, I don't know if
it was Lavender, it was Ron, but it was one of them.
M I've never thought about that.Honestly, I think it was probably coincidence.
You know, they were they wereprobably doing you know, Okay,
we're just we're just gonna go withthe theme of like being slightly inappropriate.

(47:30):
But you know on on television showsin a movie is when they're like so
happily making out that they're like stumblingdown the hallway or something. I feel
like Ron and Lavender were like stumblingover each other in the hallway and she
was like, oh, there's adoor and like fell into it or something.
Yeah, right, like I knowexactly, Yeah, you just just

(47:50):
described I was like, oh,okay, like Jenny, I also paint
a good visual. Yeah, yes, and yeah, I think it would
make me like so bummed if itwasn't intentional. Right, we I'm not
the biggest I'm with Rex, I'mnot the biggest Ron fan at all.
But to see hermione like legitimately hurtingand then to take another human and rub

(48:10):
that human in her face, andalso the like using Lavender in that exploitative
way, it would really leave avery surtase in my mouth. For that
to have been intentional. You know, But do you think Ron's being super
showy because deep down he likes Hermioneand oh yeah, he's like, Oh,

(48:37):
if you're gonna be with McLagan,I'm gonna be with Lavender. Well,
and he's also pissed about Crumb.That's what really sets him off.
I think I think he's pissed thatCrumb chose Hermione and not him, Like
like, that's where I think thatis. Send us the fan fiction.

(49:01):
Oh I bet, I bet thatthere is a bisexual run crowd right,
that would be their their fan picknames, or ye would have to be
because if you add rum right,it would just be rum right front m
But getting back to Hermione's revenge,I want to talk about the birds because

(49:25):
I figured that there was probably somesort of symbolism or something here, because
we know the author doesn't tend to, for the most part, just pick
things sort of at random, andso I did a bunch of research about
bird symbolism. Most of what Icould find was through dream dream interpretation,
So take it or leave it ifyou believe in this type of stuff,
but I found some interesting things.Yellow birds, like the ones that Hermione

(49:50):
shoots at run, if you findthem in dreams, they often represent the
end of fun times and it definitelyfeel like Hermione's not having a blast here.
So you know, maybe that's somethingIf you encounter aggressive birds in a
dream, it is a suggestion thatyou need to return the favor to a
loved one, So like I thinksort of repent in some way, which
maybe this is something Hermione is lookingfor. And then the last one that

(50:14):
I found, which was really interestingis that bird aggression in a dream is
a silent symbol that you are notappreciating other people. Wow. So that's
like a whole lot of nothing,but I thought it was interesting anyway.
I mean it's particular leave it asI think with what she's trying to say
to him. Basically it aligns withthe scene in their very hormonal, sixteen

(50:37):
year old, messy, messy brains. I don't miss being that age.
God, no, you don't missthat. Does anybody ever want to go
back to that age? Well?You know it's fine, okay. So
so speaking of that, I'm sureyou all have seen the meme that floats
around every now and again that likehas a hand there's a red pill and

(50:59):
a blue pill, and it's like, go back to sixteen with all the
knowledge you have now, or takethis other pill and you advance to fifty.
But you have twelve or one hundredand twenty million dollars, And I'm
like, why would anybody pick togo back to sixteen? Take the money?
Best in Tesla also going why youhave no money at sixteen? You

(51:21):
have no money at sixteen? Whywould you want to go back with all
the knowledge you have? You justbet money to Evon Musk. He's the
freaking worst. Do not invest?I think I like twenty dollars to my
name at sixteen? Right, yeah, obviously you take the money and you
go to fifty because as someone whois only ten years from fifty, it's
no big deal. And I coulduse tens of millions of dollars. I

(51:42):
wouldn't say no. So yeah,yeah, that's the answer to that.
Nobody wants to go back to sixteen, but people comment under it and say
that they would. But they're wrong. That's the wrong choice. Choice,
don't miss it. They haven't learnedthings. They haven't learned that low rise
jeans are a bad idea. Didyou know gauchos are coming back? Oh?

(52:04):
Yeah, they are, they are. They're they're like cropped wide flared
leggings. No, yeah, haveyou been to um and this, of
course does not indicate what is actuallyfashionable, and I don't. I don't
go to these places, but um, I was at them all recently,
and I walked by like the fashionthe fast fashion stores, you know,

(52:27):
like um H and M and Forevertwenty one and stuff looks like in early
two thousands. Because it's coming backbecause all my kids bubble bubble dresses and
yeah, gauchos and like that's allmy kids are wearing Empire waist tops and
all the things. Yeah, whenare skinny jeans coming back? Because I
have not left that train. Maybethey are never going away. Honey,
they are never going Ti rise skinnyjeans. That's all we need in life.

(52:52):
Uh No. Also, American Girl, why why it's fine? Your
guy? It's slightly different because I'mtrendy. Out of all of us here,
you probably are the trendiest rex.That's true. Um, yeah,
it's fine. I you know,American Girl just released some dolls that are

(53:15):
from nineteen ninety nine as their historicaldolls, So I am like digging my
own grave at this point. It'sokay. Oh, I felt I felt
called out by that too, ourcouch, yes, a chair. Yeah.
They have a computer that makes dialup sounds really high jazzy. That

(53:37):
and the Pizza Hut boocket program,which I have distinct childhood memories of.
Yeah, and I was like,oh no, oh no, I don't
even know what that is. Idon't either. The Pizza Hut boocket club.
You've read books and you've got pizzafor free if you read a certain

(54:00):
number of books. It was great. I didn't have a Pizza Hut near
me growing up. Also, I'mten years older than both of you,
so we have growing up where Igrew up. Um, there is this
local pizza place that's like better thanPizza Hut. A lot of things are
better than pizza. I love somepizazz three pizza free pizza. Well,

(54:28):
maybe I should um tell my parentsthat they ruined my childhood. They did,
it might have been gone by Howold are you, Rex, I'm
thirty. I just turned thirty.Yeah yeah, yeah, anyway, getting
back to someone who had their childhoodand ruined Shamus, Well, I'm I'm

(54:54):
a huge dean miss shipper who isn'twell because they are like the non cannon
cannon chip. Yes, yeah it'strue, but like it's true the like
little sentence that was like Shamus gotmad at like Dean and Jenny. Like

(55:15):
I loved that so much because Iwas just like, oh, I was
just like the other relationship was havingtroubles, just like running Hermione. He
gets mad because Dean gets put onthe team on the quidditcheam, which takes
us to the next thing, whichis quidditch where there are also romance rowos

(55:36):
because of Demus, Dean and Jenny. And yeah, no, that line
did make me laugh where Shamus isreally mad and Harry was like, I
didn't want to ask Dean because Iknew Shamus would be upset. It was
just so funny because it's so fittingfor this chapter. Yes hashtag cannon and

(56:00):
so speaking of quidditch, we getsome quidditch practice here, and we get
one of Jenny's best lines. Ilove this line where she calls Ron a
pratt and Harry says, don't callhim a pratt. You're not the captain
and she says, well, youseem too busy to call him a pratt
And I thought someone should, whichlike yes and Harry iconic sassy Jay and

(56:25):
Harry tries not to laugh. ButI think this is why everyone also just
likes book Jenny for so much,because she just goes like she just goes
in and she does not hold back. Rex. I just read your comment

(56:45):
under this, but like I wasjust like, they're talking about snogging.
So Jenny's been snocking Dean Hermione's assumedto be snogging mclegan according to Ron,
who's allegedly been snogging Pig Witchen.Well that's what I heard of to gossip
cools, you just gave me.We need to have somebody make a TikTok

(57:07):
series of gossip please. Do you'vejust given me an amazing I don't When
I was on Muggle's Instagram team,there was something. There was some campaign
that was not gossip Gool themed thatit was like back to school and I
made it gossip Gool themed is andI was making up I was making up

(57:28):
names. I was having the timeof my life. That is the best
campaign thing ever. I should suggestthat for um September. Yeah, I
don't know, so XO gossip Gool. Did you use that as a hashtag?
I don't remember. I don't thinkI used it as a hashtag,

(57:52):
although um, there has been overone hundred posts using hashtag gossip gool on
instagramoked, so maybe I'm a trendsetter. I mean one of them. No,
it's it's just like this one isjust like people dressed up in Halloween
costosa. Can you see that?Yeah, Rex, I feel like you

(58:15):
have to be the person though,like reading the stuff, like the voiceover,
and most of them our fingernails too, like lots of fingernail. I've
got my thing on west of likefingernail stuff. We really did not get
a good view of that cat,but thank you. I'm sorry. I
tried, friends, I tried.That's all that matters is that I'm obsessed

(58:37):
with the snow gossip cool, that'shilarious. Wow. Okay, we are
off the rail recording in the evening, Yes, after we've all worked all
day bringing you back to quidditch,because you know, I'll always bring it
back to quidditch. I found Harry'scaptaining tactics. You're very interesting. He's

(58:59):
very hands off, like he saysnice things. But I feel like Oliver
and Angelina were both so much moredemanding and like not Mike. Well,
Oliver was probably micromanaging. But probablyHarry's just kind of like, here we
go play good job, team,don't hate on Ron right now? Good

(59:22):
practice? God? Could it bethe different priorities that the previous captain's had
versus Harry right, Probably Oliver Wood'slife's ambition quidditch? Is it also just
a lot of dramas going on inHarry's life and he doesn't want to upset

(59:42):
anyone, so he's stepping Probably that'salso the whole Voltimore thing being Yeah,
that guy's somewhere. Maybe that playsinto it where Harry's like, in the
grand scheme of things, does itreally matter if Slytherin beats griffindor in this
quitch match when I've got yes,I might die. Yes, it does
because it does matter? Yea.Also I think I just think in general,

(01:00:08):
I just think Harry is like aneasy going, good person. Yeah,
so why would his why would hisdial be any different? He's a
much more collaborative type of leader wherehe kind of sees people's strengths and lets
them kind of take charge in thatdepartment and just kind of make sure everyone

(01:00:29):
is cohesive. Um, good onyou, Harry. Yeah, let's give
some Harry manager want Yeah, isHarry ted Lasso before Ted Lasso? No?
No, I was kidding anyway.I've only seen a couple anyway,
even an equivalent to Harry On tedLasso, and I think the answer is

(01:00:52):
no because they are always snark gear. I haven't seen enough episodes and dirtier
like. Coach is definitely not HarryTed is definitely No one is harry On
t last Yeah, nobody, althoughCoach could be Jinny. I could see
that. I could see that.I could see that. Sorry, am
I the only one? I've onlyseen a couple episodes. I need to

(01:01:16):
watch more. I think Coach beingJinny's the only like would the word be
correlation feasible? Feasible? Yeah?Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. There
might be like one more if Ilike put more thought onto it. Nate
who who would Nate be? There'sI don't know if there's an equivalent.
I don't know. I don't thinkso. I might be able to come

(01:01:37):
up to something if we weren't doingthis at nighttime. Yeah sure, okay,
Well the listeners, the listeners willprobably come up with it before we
remember to come up with it.So, listeners, have you seen it?
I'll forget after that. Yeah,I will definitely forget for anyway,
Like we were saying, quidditch isimportant, so important that we're going to

(01:01:59):
use a little would have sucked fugein some quiddit chair um another thing where
it's like, I don't know ifthis is just me, but the way
Harry asks Ron what he wants todrink? Does anyone else think it was
intentionally supposed to sound like umbrage becauseit sounds exactly like it to me when

(01:02:20):
she when she asks him in orderof the phoenix, like I swear,
I hear them exactly the same inmy head. I don't I don't know.
Why could you read the quote forus? Can read? Can you
read the quote? I don't rememberthat, he says tee. Harry asked
him coffee, pumpkin juice, anything, said Ron, blah blah blah,
and then Harry says, fine,said Harry, he was concentrating on handing

(01:02:44):
round a glass of pumpkin juice.There you go, Ron, drink up.
That doesn't sound the same thing too, Maybe I don't know. It
has always sounded I mean when youI mean, when you pointed out I
think the parallel is there. ButI'm not sure that it was meant to
be Okay, I see the parallel, like Kat just said, but we
know in order that Umbridge was tryingto get Harry to drink something because there

(01:03:08):
was something in it, and thatshe actually okay, and that's basically what
Harry is doing here. So you'resaying it's a throwback as a hint to
the to the reader, Yeah,I can see that that would be If
that's the case, that would bea cool That would be a cool thing

(01:03:29):
to sneak in, right, becauseit's it's like Harry's tapping into something bad
that happened to him a year previous, but now he's using it in a
much smaller scale for something quote unquotegood. I kind of like that instead
of very to seremons, Peeley splicesbade, see this is good. He's
helping his friend, he's not tryingto interrogate and get all this information.

(01:03:53):
I kind of like this, Alison. I'm surprised nobody else had ever thought
that before, because I feel likeI hear every time you may have uncovered
something new about Harry. What doesit feel to be the first? You
know? It feels so honored aboutthis although then we google it and there

(01:04:15):
are seventy five essays about how thatthing, how that's actually right, exactly
right? And I wrote it twelveyears ago, and I just forgot I
do that. There's so much likepsychological Nixon stuff going here. I mean,
Harry using Hermione to get the trickacross, probably not in a very

(01:04:38):
nice way, but it is effective. Think of this plan. Did you
say Nixon, like the president toget the trick across? And it's not
very nice. For some reason,I thought you said Nixon, and I
was like, that is a referencethat I understand. I mean anyway,
Yeah, I guess you could kindof say quidditch gate. That's what we

(01:05:03):
call this. What would have happenedif Hermione hadn't noticed this, I mean,
it wouldn't have worked. Yeah,like nothing. What would What would
Harry have had to have done followingthis? Do it again? Does your
pumpkin juice taste different? Yeah?Away, Ron like handing him glasses of

(01:05:30):
pumpkin juice. He's like, hello, whoa, Ron, don't let over
here. M I don't know.I don't know if there's anything that he
actually have done for the record,And he keeps going with that kind of
subtle psychology because he keeps using theword lucky as they keep walking down,

(01:05:54):
which is fascinating that he puts thatidea. Where did Harry learn how to
do this? When did he becomesmart? When Harry smart, it's not
like this smart clar It's true.It is where did he figure out how
to do this? Are you actuallyasking? Or are you yes? No,

(01:06:15):
I'm actually asking? Where do wethink he found out how to do
this? Dumbledore? Maybe he askedOliver would No, Oliver is so straightforward.
No, Oliver is straightforward. Oliver'sgoing to tell you what's happening.
He would open your mouth for you. And I think maybe the real answer

(01:06:36):
is Hermione because she uh is prettytricky when it comes to things like this.
That's a good point. Maybe hermoney, or maybe this is just
like Harry's survival instinct kicking in.I don't I mean, I don't know,
Olive the above he learned it fromUmbradge. But the subterfuge is not

(01:06:58):
um. It's not a stranger inHarry's life. True. But since Hermione
thinks that Ron was doped, essentially, is there a way to test that
there's gotta be or like, becauseit is illegal to like take Felix Felicious
for like these things. But whatso I just like take a shot of

(01:07:26):
Felix Felicious do my quidditch game whenBut how how do I prove that like
I didn't do that? I mean, there's gotta because it's banned, there's
gotta be a way to test forit. Yeah, and maybe you know,
thinking to thinking forward to when wesee Harry actually take Felix, maybe
it's just a visual m confirmation,you know. Yeah, Yeah, I

(01:07:57):
was gonna say, is there anyum I want to read the description of
when Harry does actually take But Ifeel like if that was it, slug
Corn would know that Harry had takenit and he wouldn't have gone with him.
Rights that's also possible. Yeah,yeah, that's also yeah, that's
also yea. Or is it likedoping in our world where you have to

(01:08:19):
take a p test? That's whatI say, Like the IQA probably has
to have some kind of drug test, but in this world, potions test.
Yeah, you know, for thisspecific reason, because you know that
there are so many shady quidditi they'relooking at you put on your United that
would do this. You know,is there a spell for it though or

(01:08:43):
something. I feel like there's alike a revellio, but like you can
see your blood stream or something.I don't know, you could like get
like your like blood pan off.The physical description from chapter twenty two,
and Harry takes it gives no indicationthat it changes his outward appearance other than
he's smiling. Yeah, how dopeople take that? Happy cows come from

(01:09:09):
California? That's what I thought ofanyway. That was a slogan back in
the day, if you don't know, for California dairy farms. Yeah,
and the slogan was happy cows comefrom California. Um, and the commercials
were always talking cows. Anyway,I do remember that. But at least

(01:09:32):
two out of the four of uson this collar like no dairy. I
know what it was. I'm sorrythat ya. Hey, I had dairy
as a kid, so I rememberthose commercials. That's fine, it's cool.
Um. I think I think itwould be interesting to see what the

(01:09:55):
listeners think about the way to test. There's God, there has to be
away. You're right, there hasto be away because otherwise, how how
could how is it not happening allthe time because it's banned, like you
said, Alison, And that's whyI asked the question, because like,
how yeah, yeah, um um. That makes me wonder too that if

(01:10:15):
there is a test, which we'reassuming that there probably is, are there
different amounts of felix you can takewould like not be detectable on a test?
Or are there things that look likefelix like poppy seeds? Yeah,

(01:10:35):
like could you take a tablespoon offelix to just get a little edge and
that doesn't show up on the test, But if you take a whole swig
of it, oh, twelve hoursworth or twenty four hours worth, depending
on what chapter you're reading, youknow, I don't know how I mean,
Okay, let's think about it likethis. How can we know if

(01:10:58):
somebody's been confundedus or like confounded orhext right? Like I'm thinking, I
know that I hate to bring thisup, but like I'm thinking, fantastic
beasts, Jacob under like the lovething that that Queenie has done to him
new is able to notice that something'sweird something yeah, and then able to
do some kind of like you know, take take that enchantment and way off

(01:11:19):
of him. But it's a hiddenit's a hidden deception thing that has been
put on him. Is there somethingsimilar, well, see that's a spell.
Yeah, but but you see whatI mean, like a spell is
hidden. Also, like but aspell enough been like he do you want
to be able to see? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, but I get

(01:11:40):
what I'm saying. Is it aspell like when Harry uses um uh spell
on that guy and gringats what confundus? Yes, no, imperious imperial that's
the one I'm thinking of. Umyou know, of course he goes all
stiff or whatever because the spell changestheir actions. Yeah. And I think

(01:12:03):
because the spell is magic, it'seasier to see, but the potion changes
you on the inside, which Ithink would present differently. That makes sense.
Yeah, but I feel like aspell does it? I mean it
would depend on the spell because likewithin period, you can say act normally

(01:12:26):
right and people can't tell. That'spart of the issue with after Baltimore falls
the first time, people say,oh, I was in period and that's
why I was doing that, andthey can't really prove it otherwise. So
m I think we should toss asone to the listeners. Yeah, because

(01:12:49):
we'll just be here all night.True. Well, and also there are
just so many possibilities, and ourlisteners, as we've always said, are
so much smarter than they'll come upwith a fantastic answer and be like,
obviously that's it. Obviously, Solisteners, what do you think you tell
us? Good question? Yes?Yeah, yeah, good question. People

(01:13:11):
who don't have good questions because theysuck. Zachary Smith gives these snarkiest quidditch
commentary ever, and I want toknow how he's allowed to be this bias
when literally anytime Lee Jordan said somethingthat was even like about Gryffindor, he

(01:13:33):
gotta yelled at like, how isMcGonigal not being like you can't say these
things? I mean any being biased? Yeah, he says out loud multiple
times that the wheezlies are only therebecause Harry likes them. But is it
because mcgonagal is head of Gryffindor andLee Jordan wasn't Gryffindor like she expects more

(01:14:00):
him because she does take quidditch shi, I mean, does zach Rise actually
say that? Because yes, Iknow that it I know that it is
um something he I thought it wasjust in the description there that he says
something about, you know how sothey weren't on the on the team or
I'm just trying to Yeah, sohe says, well, there they go,

(01:14:23):
and I think we're all surprised tosee the team that Potters put together
this year. Many thought, givenRonald Weasley's past you performances keeper last year,
that he might be off the team, but of course a close personal
friendship with the captain does help umand then he realized it's it's him.
H Weasley saves it. Well,he's bound to get lucky sometimes, I
suppose. I think it's probably becausethose aren't particularly biting comments. I think

(01:14:45):
that that's probably just true. Butit's very personal, like at anytime we
said anything personal about a player.McGonagall yelled at him. What book was
that in, um, askabin.It's one of the it's one of the
first third. Yeah, you're right, it would have to, because I
mean it starts right at the beginning. Okay, let's see what's what's what's

(01:15:06):
an insult that comes up that lisaysthat I can search in my book?
Oh my gosh, Um, it'sduring is it during Philosopher's Stone one of
the Slutheran team members does something tothe Griffin or team member. I don't
think we get a lot of LeeJordan and philosophers. I think the only

(01:15:29):
one I can think of off thetop of my head is when he says
that he's been asking Angelina out foryears and she still won't go out with
him, and mcconical yells at him. And that's a difference. Oh yeah,
it's it's right here, yeah,display of something? Yeah, so,
um, right here, it's inchapter thirteen. I'm looking in prisoner
here when Lee is doing the commentary, and I think it's because he's going

(01:15:56):
on and on and on about thefirebolt, and um, he says,
Potter's really putting it through its paces. Now see it's turned. Chang's comment
is no match for him. Thefirebolt's precision balance is really noticeable in these
And then McGonagall yelled at him,Jordan, are you being paid to advertise
a firebolt? Get on with acommentation? Um, but I don't know.
I do remember what you're thinking of. I just can remember where it

(01:16:18):
is because it's not here. I'mgonna Grabok's. I remember him trying to
be okay. So here's this onein chapter fifteen um of Prisoner Yes,
page three eight in the American edition, it says, excuse me, Madam

(01:16:39):
Hooch's whistle rang out again as shestared over Montague and began shouting at him.
A minute later, Katie had putanother penalty past the sleather and seeker
thirty zero. Take that you dirtycheating. And then mcgonag pops in and
says, Jordan, if you can'tcommentate in an unbiased way, I'm telling
it like it is, professor.Yes, that's it, yep, But
that's unbuy it because Lee literally saysyou dirty cheating. I think that that's

(01:17:05):
different. I don't know. Ifeel like personal attacks on the players should
not be I wouldn't call that apersonal attack. I think that's probably true.
And I feel like I don't watcha lot of sports, but I
do watch a lot of baseball,and they definitely talk about things like that.
I think that's different than calling somebodya dirty cheat. It is different

(01:17:26):
personally did cheat? They were like, well, yes, obviously they did
cheat, but you know, takethat up with mcgonad Tyler. Let me
get around the word. Minerva.Listen, my dear, you gotta get
this under control. This is apretty dirty game though, honestly, Um,

(01:17:55):
as quidditch games go, I mean, you've got Harry and Harper going
after he sh um it just itfeels like a I don't know, it
always feels like a nasty game tome. Um. I think it's if
I can build on your point orAlison, the fact that Harry wins this

(01:18:18):
game by basically like whenever I getto this point in the in my reread,
I'm always like, Harry's gonna saylike a your mom joke or something,
just like you know, throw himoff his game, Like I'm always
waiting, and I'm like, ohwait, that's right. He doesn't actually
say that, but he does saysome kind of like you know, pointed
attack. Yeah, and that's whatlike catches him off guard. And I'm

(01:18:41):
like, dang, like calling out, you know, talking by Harper,
yelled Harry in desperation. How muchdid malfoy pay you to come on instead
of him? Like I'm like waiting, I'm like your mom, you know
hey, that would be really meanconsidering the person in response could not do

(01:19:04):
okay, I mean they could,It would just be truly terrible, and
maybe part of it too, isis what Jinny does after the game where
she smacks into secret Smith breaks thatforgot to break, Yeah, forgot to

(01:19:26):
break. Yeah, but I do. I do appreciate how Jinny is like
standing up for the whole. Ilove how she also was like, I
hate you Zacharis Smith, so suckit. This is book, Jinny.
This is the book Jinny we alldeserve. Um. Yeah, maybe in
those remakes that Warner Brothers is goingto do right TV show, Yeah,

(01:19:51):
the yes and then the stage andthen the stage production and yeah, all
of all of the click baby thingsthat are. That's exactly what I'm TAKETOK
series. Oh my gosh, youknow, Tyler, do not give Warner
Brothers anymore absolute takeok series. They'regonna They're gonna use the the AI woke

(01:20:14):
version of the boom. It's gonnabe like those like viral sounds on take
oh no, the Seven books.I only know the like oh no viral
sound. Yeah, he needs somemilk from vine anyway, anyway, you

(01:20:35):
just the O G Vine right.Wow, Okay, hey listen, I
like I um so, Zacharry Smithin the book obviously sucks by the love
him in pop so as you shouldzach Smith. Yeah, with his double
popped call. Come on, thoseare making a comeback. You know what's

(01:20:57):
funny. And if Noah was orhe would tell you this. But years
ago, before Puffs ever came out, he was working on a version of
Harry Potter from a Hufflepuffs point,like a decade ago or so, and
he gave up on writing it,and then Puffs came out and I was
like, dude, you missed yourchance, you know. So I'm just

(01:21:19):
I'm throwing some shade at Noah rightnow. But also he has a soft
spot for Zacharya Smith, who wasthe heroin in his story. Stop oh
no, no, for real,for real, Everybody tweet at him and
he'll know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's all I

(01:21:40):
have to say about that. Ifyou all listening out there have not seen
Puffs, you can rent it.So Google like Puffs the Play and you
can rent it. I think it'son their web site. Hang on,
I'm gonna look it up, Puffsthe Play. Yeah, it's Puffs the
Play dot com and you can rentit on there, so do it.
Definitely worth the bucks. It's sodouble popped collars that are just the collars

(01:22:03):
though it kills me every time anyway. And so the quidditch match comes to
a wonderful end and Harry's golden planbackfires spectacularly, and yes, that golden
plan was a pun um oh justoh Harry, Oh Harry. He never

(01:22:26):
thinks past the one step. He'slike it happened, and he doesn't think
after that, Poor dear Harry.I'm doing the Draco faith because I have
a lot to say about that.Um. I think this one's on Hermione,
not on Harry, really, becauseI think Hermione knows Ron well enough

(01:22:49):
to know that her confront like theconfrontation that she brings to this situation,
is only going to hurt Ron.She should know better, and she should
have gone to just talk to Harry, because she and Harry are good enough
friends that she doesn't need to explodein front of Ron, someone who is

(01:23:12):
remarkably fragile, and she already knowsthat. So I think this one's on
Hermione. I also think that thatreaction is squarely like kind of hypocritical because
of the way she acts with thepoly juice in chamber, where it's like
literally her idea to do something remarkablyillegal, and yeah, so I'm gonna,

(01:23:38):
I'm gonna, I'm gonna put thisone on Hermione. I mean,
I can see the part, exceptfrom the hypocritical part, because I think
the poly juice is a whole differentsituation. She has always shown that when
something has enough importance to her,she's willing to throw the rules out.
But Quititch is not important to her, so she's not willing to throw it

(01:24:01):
out for that, but it isimportant to her two best friends. No,
that's true, But I mean Ithink even in this chapter, Harry
says Hermione never understood how important.Yeah, which is why, which is
why I think that this is abit that I think that this is on
Hermione, because yeah, she probablyshould have handled it better with just Harry.

(01:24:25):
But I do like how they describeHermione coming into this situation, right,
she's clearly upset, but she's she'spersistent in that she's going to confront
Harry about this, right, AndI think that's having been in so many
situations like that where you're nervous tolike speak out against something, but you

(01:24:45):
know you have to, you haveto have that conviction. I always appreciate
this moment, because, as welearned in Philosopher's Stone, it's easy to
stand up to your enemies, butit's so much harder to stand up to
your flat right, And it's likethis moment, you know, she's talking
herself up, she's working herself up, and I kind of liked I kind
of liked it. I'm glad thatshe did do this in this way.

(01:25:08):
Personally, You're wrong. I mean, at least she'd do it for like
the whole team or anything, right, I mean, but she could have.
I don't know, I'd just beenlike a little bit more attacked from
her. Mine here would have beenwarranted because they are her too that.
I mean, I can see it. I could have thought about it all.

(01:25:28):
I can see her though, beinglike Ron deserves to know the truth,
and that's why she didn't just talkto Harry. But yeah, yeah,
all right, I'll give you that. Yeah, she probably could have
handled it differently. Are we notgiving her though, Like this is a
very emotional semester thus far. Thereare a lot of tensions, a lot

(01:25:54):
of changes are happening. Brain chemistriesare all over the place. Are we
not affording her mine that same kindof um space? To make puberty fueled
errors that we're doing so with likeother characters thus far. Okay, first
off, I pulling out the brainchemistry here a friend. Okay, you

(01:26:16):
really want to win this argument,right yeah? Yeah, yeah, no,
I mean obviously right, like weas readers and as people who are
just part of a patriarchy are morelikely to be harder on women in any
situations all the time. Point fine, totally, Okay, fine, I
acquiesced. You win. No,no, no, there's no winning.
Well no no, but man winsthe argument. I think you make an

(01:26:41):
excellent point, because that is alwaysa thing, I mean, even in
real life of girls are supposed tobe more mature than boys. Right,
that that was my my finger quotes. By the way, if you're not
watching the video, lots of fingerquotes garding out there, you know,
and we don't to write book forit. Wait what sorry I said it's

(01:27:01):
the right book, um, pincers. If you're watching the video, I'm
just saying it's worth it for thisone anyway. No, oh yeah,
we that is always the thing,right where we don't give girls a lot

(01:27:25):
of these you know, puberty emotionalleeway, you know, as as they
learn and kind of discover in thatand and maybe we do sometimes with the
boys, say in these books,you know, sometimes when we look at
them, we have a tendency tobe like, oh, the boys and
they're puberty and Harry and his purringmonster, and well, like there is

(01:27:48):
the phrase out there like boys willbe boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
And unless you're talking about that reallycute tumbler post where it's like cute
things anyway, Sorry, that's asidetrack. Oh, tumbler has been big
in the fandom today, but we'renot going to dog about what happens.

(01:28:11):
Oh no, no, no,no, it's not for the episode.
Okay, somebody feeling in later.Um. But yeah, so maybe it
is one of those things, especiallywith Hermione, because we expect her to
be so top of everything to rememberthat she is also a sixteen seventeen year
old girl feeling all the emotions.Um, and that's hard. It's hard

(01:28:39):
to be sixteen and seventeen. Idon't miss it. That's why no one
wants to go back to being exactlyfull circle, full circle. And we
end the chapter not on a greatnote bookends, No, I mean Tyler
won the argument. My god,I'm gonna never come back on a little

(01:29:01):
more. No, A win's awine, all of the all of them.
I say that very jokingly, allof the Like early criticism from the
early years of the show about mewas that, Um, I never let
people win arguments. So I'm lettingyou win this one, just to like

(01:29:25):
throw a bone to the commenters fromnine years ago, growth the listeners still
because holding on to that grudge fornine years. Hey, I'm not holding
on to it. I just remember. I just remember it. That's made
me last anyway, and I likeletting Tyler win, So I'll take the
bone anyway. That's goodbye. ThanksTyler for coming. We've definitely had a

(01:29:53):
time recording this episode. Is thereanything that you want to plug, like
socials websites. Yeah. So I'vegot a really exciting project that's coming out
in like two weeks that has beengraciously yes, been so kind in helping
me with very excited So um,I will say that if you are a

(01:30:15):
fan of the Wizarding World, andspecifically the theme parks of the Wizarding World,
head on over to my Instagram,Instagram, dot com slash theme park
tylor t y l O R andjust be ready for that announcement to come
out in the next couple of weeks. And I just for anybody who doesn't
know, like, Tyler and Iare remarkably good friends and sort of business

(01:30:38):
partners, so don't take any ofour are sparring seriously. Yeah, I
texted Cat the other day that she'smy best friend and I still very much
firmly believe that. So yeah,it's true. Lots of love here,
and you definitely should go follow himon those accounts because yeah, very exciting
project. It's a good time.Yeah, and while you are waiting for

(01:31:01):
that, you can join us onour next episode, which will be a
chapter revisit of Prisoner Raskman Chapter twoat Large's Big Mistake. Oh look,
we touched on Prisoner in this book. Okay mean in this episode this book.
Whatever, What a perfect transition.If you would like to be on
that episode or any of our otherepisodes, head owver to our website loohomar

(01:31:23):
podcast dot com. Choose the beon the show page, and all the
details on how you can send inyour audition are there. Super Dupresmble.
All you need is like a setof headphones like these If you're watching the
video you'll see they're wired because wiredHeadphones Supremacy. You can find us on
Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, andSpotify at loohoma MN. Our Facebook is
at Open the Dumbledore and our emailalohomar podcast at gmail dot com. And

(01:31:47):
once again we want to say thankyou to Emily for being a two time
Patreon sponsor for this episode. Yaymla. We have loads of stuff over
on our Patreon at patreon dot comslash a Loha more. You can get
ad free listening bonus content. Um, maybe we'll talk about whatever the tumbler

(01:32:09):
thing. Who knows, I don'tknow. Oh my gosh, we could
talk about that, you could.I just need to know what's happened heavy.
It's a bit heavy, talk aboutit. And then we also have
our Facebook group Dumbledore's Office as wellas um episode sponsorsing I'm I'm Kat and

(01:32:30):
I'm Alison. Thank you for listeningto episode three hundred and sixty nine of
A Lotta Mora. Well, youseem too busy to Open the Dumbledore,
so I figured I'd do it.Corey. Aloha Mora is produced by Tracy

(01:32:54):
Dunstan and edited by Patrick Muslick.It was co created by Noah Freed and
Cat Miller, and is brought toyou by ap W B D l LC.

(01:33:15):
Harry recaps his lesson with Dumbledore fromthe Evening of Wait, he doesn't
recap with Dumbledore, his lesson withrecaps his lesson with Dumble, recaps his
lesson about Dumbledore. No, withDumbledore. Yeah, because yeah, it
just sounds like Harry's recapping his lessonwith Dumbledore. Oh yes, Harry.

(01:33:36):
No, I know what you're saying. Yeah, I know what you're saying.
How could I reward that, Harry? Well, would it be like
Harry recap back Harry? Do youguys hear a horn in the background?
Um? Oh you know it's theIrish Day Parade. It's that writes right

(01:33:58):
outside, all right, so pleaseeveryone part in the horn, but just
know that it's everyone getting really excitedabout the podcast. That's obtrusive. Actually,
we're gonna have to cut those out. Well, I do believe that
ends a little more today