November 11, 2024 • 49 mins
In this episode of Atonement - Total Liberation, I dive deep into the difference between being “Phony Holy” and experiencing true wholeness as a man. We live in a society that measures success by achievements, status, and outward appearances, but true fulfillment runs much deeper. Join me as we explore how unhealed trauma, misplaced priorities, and the endless chase for external validation leave many men feeling unfulfilled despite their accomplishments. Together, let’s talk about healing the inner vessel, achieving freedom in marriage, and living a life of total liberation from the inside out. If you’re tired of playing the role of “good” on the outside while feeling empty on the inside, this episode is for you. Tune in now and take the first step toward real transformation.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hello, and welcome back to the Atonementpodcast, where we are debunking the
myths and helping you leave the illusionof the lies that keep you stuck.
In your marriage or finances and inyour physical health and your body,
or perhaps you're not strugglingin any of those areas.
And yet you find yourself sittingat the top of the ladder, so
to speak of success in life.
(00:21):
And still inside, you feel likethere's some purpose or something.
That is lacking that's missingthat you haven't been able to fill.
And, you know, no matter how much moneyyou earn, no matter how much sex you
have with your wife, and no matter howmany times you go to the gym, how many
marathons or triathlons you competein, it will never fulfill and fill
that existential hole in your heart.
(00:42):
On today's episode, we're going to bedebunking the myth of the phony holy.
As opposed to the path of wholeness,which is what we teach and talk
about here and preach about here.
On this podcast atonement,the path of total liberation.
Now, as I mentioned, when I started thispodcast off, this is a podcast where we
combine the spiritual and the physical,where there is no separation between
(01:06):
the things that people in religiouscircles say, bring them to happiness.
And yet the very things and thingsthat we enjoy or that we don't enjoy
in our life, our production here inthis physical plane, the quantity,
the quality of our relationships,
the money and the financial abundancewe enjoy or the lack thereof,
and the health and the integrity that weenjoy in our physical vessel, in the body.
(01:30):
Now, before we jump into this conversationof what exactly do I mean by the phony
holy versus wholeness, let's have achat about three main areas and three
main problems that we talk about hereon the atonement podcast that you
might be struggling with problem.
Number one deals with the first domainin no particular order of body being
(01:50):
balanced in business, which is your body.
So what do problemslook like in this area?
Well, as a middle aged man, typicallythe problems in your body domain
might be you feeling like you're fat.
You've gained, you've gained extra weight.
Maybe you look at yourself inthe mirror and you're embarrassed
with how your stomach jiggles.
You look the clothesthat used to fit nicely.
They don't fit you anymore.
Maybe it's 10 years or more thatyou actually looked back at yourself
(02:13):
in the mirror and saw, you know,there's a guy with some athleticism.
There's a guy that canhold his chest high.
Ultimately, you've become aslave to your overweight body.
So when we talk about the path of totalliberation, we're looking at all of these
areas, body being balanced and business.
And if we are, if we are enslaved in anyone of these areas in any way, shape, or
(02:37):
form, then we are not truly liberated.
Then we are not truly freed up tothen pursue our highest purpose
as a man here on this earth.
So here's what it may look like.
If your body domain is not working,
you may simply not behappy with your body.
You may look in the mirror andoccasionally when you stop to think
(02:58):
about it, you get this depressed or evenlow energetic feeling inside that, man,
I feel like I'm aging really quickly.
Or man, as I'm scrollingInstagram, I'm seeing these
people who are muscular and fit.
I'm feeling jealous and I'mfeeling angry and I'm feeling
upset and I'm feeling like.
The world is stacked against me.
(03:19):
When you're a slave to your bodyas a man, this is huge because
what ends up happening is youcan lose confidence as a man.
What I can tell you is that a man that'sphysically fit, the man that has muscles
bulging out of his, his suit coat, when hewalks into that board meeting to make that
important presentation, or when he walksinto the room of peers for an important
(03:40):
business meeting, what I can tell youis it is going to be easier for the man.
Who's physically on fire, who feelsenergetic, who feels physically fitness
body to show up as his best versionof himself, as opposed to a guy that
knows that he's overweight, a guythat knows that he's neglected his
fitness, a guy that has let the yearsbe unkind to him simply because he
(04:02):
didn't want to do the work requiredto keep his body physically fit
and worst case scenario.
When this isn't working, it canlook like high blood pressure.
It can look like a potentialhealth impacts or concerns,
problems with the gut.
It can lead to sprain or pulling musclesand being out of commission for 1, 2, 3
or four weeks, and ultimately just havingthis low energetic feeling of feeling
(04:25):
like we're dragging through life insteadof pushing powerfully through life.
Here's what it looks like when yourbody domain is working for you.
You feel like your body is an ally.
Instead of having your body get inthe way of your production, instead
of having the body get in the wayof your self-confidence, your body
is actually a physical vehicle.
(04:46):
That accelerates you and supportsyou in your production in this life,
because you have integrity in your body,because you take care of your body.
This helps you feel more confident.
It helps you feel more attractive.
You have an additional measureof certainty and power.
And yet the problem is, is that eventhough we may be on fire in one of
(05:10):
these domains, for instance, the bodydomain, we can still be suffering
from low self esteem, from feelingsof shame, from feelings of guilt,
from low self confidence as a man.
If any of these otherdomains are not working.
So let's jump over to domainnumber two, which is we'll call
balance for the purposes of this.
(05:30):
And what this looks like is
when this isn't working primarilywith your spouse, you may be.
Unhappy with the level or frequency ofthe sexual intimacy in your marriage.
Now as guys, there's a lot of ways inwhich our relationships might not be
working, but this is the one that'sgoing to strike closest to home.
(05:52):
And as men, we've become savagelyproficient at being able to hide.
This intense pain that we can feel tobe feel like a stranger an unwanted
man in our own marriage and typicallyhere's what it looks like when this
is not working a very small percentageof men will look themselves in the
mirror and Realize and know that theirmarriage isn't working to the level
(06:15):
that they would like it to work They'refeeling sexually rejected by the wife.
They're feeling sexually unsatisfiedHowever, there's a broad group of
men Probably 80 percent or moreof men that are in marriages where
they're not happy, that they are noteven willing to face the fact that
they aren't happy in their marriage.
And so what they end up doing is theyend up sedating through different ways.
(06:37):
There's lots of different ways to sedate.
You can sedate throughporn, through masturbation.
Those are a couple obvious ways.
You can sedate through cheating.
And yet there's other constructiveways that good men escape this
pain of not feeling sexuallydesired in their own marriage.
Okay.
And for a man that doesn't want to releasethrough porn or, or, or maybe a man who
(07:01):
doesn't ever want to cheat on hiswife, this man will find other
outlets for putting his energy into.
So oftentimes as men, we end upthrowing ourselves into work.
We use work as a screen toignore the deep sense of pain,
the deep sense of disconnectionthat we may feel in our marriage.
And so we may wake up and day today, even tell ourself the story
(07:24):
that we have a great marriage.
And yet, if we were reallyhonest at ourselves.
We could look at our actions and wecould see how we're spending large
amounts of time pursuing hobbies,pursuing side gigs, side jobs, yard
projects, home renovation projects,all to numb the sense of loneliness
(07:50):
that we feel in our own marriage.
Because we know that if we weren'tbusy and engage in those kinds of
things, we'd be face to face with,there we are with our partner.
And we are not happy in that relationship.
When the relationship side ofmarriage isn't working for a
man, it can lead to arguments.
It can lead to again, feellow feelings of self esteem,
feelings of low self confidence.
(08:10):
We can even ask ourself if we're moreaware of this situation, why doesn't
my wife find me more attractive?
Is there something wrong with me?
Have I married the wrong woman?
On the other hand, there's a wholesegment of men like myself, who the
way that they respond to this challengeis by shutting off their libido.
(08:30):
They've turned their libido down tosuch a low simmer that they don't
even notice the lack of sexualconnection in their marriage anymore.
As a matter of fact, I know a man, longtime member of the church, married to a
beautiful woman, and from the outside,they're the perfect picture of perfection.
And yet at home, they have physicalintimacy maybe once or twice a year.
(08:53):
And in a candid conversationI was having with this man,
he said, well, you know what?
I think the ship forme has already sailed.
And the sad part ishe's just 50 years old.
Meaning if you look at the averagelifespan, this man has 30 more
years of marriage to this woman.
And yet he's thrown in thetowel and he's given up.
When we shut off our sexual libido asmen, something very insidious happens.
(09:18):
And this was my case.
So in my life, Because of trauma andreligious dogma and fear, really fear
around my own sexuality as a man,worrying that if I were really to tap
into that sexual energy, if I was, if Iwas to augment my, my libido, if I was
to act on it more frequently, numberone, I might be rejected by my wife,
(09:39):
but number two, it might get so powerfulthat would get out of control and put
me in a situation where I could do whata lot of other men do, where it seems
like sex consumes their life, or they golooking for that sex outside of marriage.
But what I can tell you is when youshut down your sexual libido, when you
turn that sexual drive down to a lowsimmer, when you're not getting sexually
fulfilled at home with your wife,
(10:03):
you will feel uninspired in life.
You will start to get bored.
You will jump from project to project andhobby to hobby, looking for some sort of
external stimuli to be able to fill thewholeness, to fill that deep hole inside.
And to hide and to numb these feelingsthat may turn you cynical towards life,
to where you are well on your way to beingthat grouchy man who just sits on the
(10:25):
couch drinking Diet Pepsi and watchingTV because his life is so miserable.
All he can do is numb himself toavoid the pain of his own sad reality.
Now on the flip side, here'swhat it looks like when this
domain in your life is working.
When you are on fire sexually andintimately with your wife, where your
marriage is working at a very high level,where you guys are able to communicate and
(10:49):
resolve differences very, very quickly.
You will get power as a manfrom being sexually fulfilled.
When your sex tank is topped upas a man, this will spill over
into other areas of your life.
You will gain confidence.
Your self esteem will improve.
Your negative self talk will diminish.
You will be clear on your purpose.
(11:12):
And because your emotions are up, in otherwords, not feeling down and depressed
and uninspired, because you're feelinginspired because you're more excited,
excited, because you're more exuberant,
you will be better able to handle
the various setbacks of life.
And we know that thesesetbacks are going to come.
And when you're better able to handlethose setbacks of life skills, what
(11:35):
ends up happening, you become a morepowerful producer, you become a more
powerful provider, your self confidenceincreases, you And ultimately your sense
of satisfaction and happiness is resting
on a solid foundation because you know,no, no, because you know that no matter
how bad the world gets on the outside.
(11:55):
That in your home and your partnershipand that relationship that is most
vital and most important to you,
that your sexual and emotional needs arebeing fulfilled at a very high level.
And this will spill overinto how your kids see you.
Your kids will feel that energy.
Even if you try to hide the disconnectionthat you're feeling from yourself, even
if you try to hide it from your wife,your kids know, and your kids know whether
(12:17):
you're in a happy relationship or not.
As a matter of fact, my motherdied when I was 16 years old.
So.
Even at that age, I could tell thatmy mom and my dad were not happy.
And as I talk with other friends,other middle aged people like, yeah,
my parents are miserable, right?
The question is you can see that withyour parents, but can you see it with you?
And when a man wakes up to this, when aman wakes up to the fact that his marriage
(12:43):
and his sexual connection and his intimacywith his chosen companion and his wife
is not living up to what he aspires forit to be, when he realizes there's a gap
between where he is and where he couldget to, you This map, this man wakes up
into a very, very difficult conversation.
And this is why it's so mucheasier to sedate with things like
(13:04):
putting ourself in the hobbies,
getting really into physical fitness,throwing ourself into our work or
our career, trying to make lotsof money to numb the pain and the
sadness that we have inside fromthe disconnection with our spouse.
The third area in which wemay be struggling as men is
(13:25):
Is the financial area.
It's common for us as men tostruggle in financial scarcity
in this place of financialscarcity, ultimately money.
Rules are psychology moneycontrols our life and we feel like
we are a slave to our finances
When this isn't working when thisarea of life when we look at our
(13:45):
four domains body being balance andbusiness This one being business
our male confidence will massivelysuffer There are two things that are
massively demeaning to a man and hissense of significance in the world Number
one is not feeling desired by his wifeand number two his inability to Or his
(14:08):
struggle to be a financial provider.
Both
of these issues willcause massive arguments.
And if not arguments, thenmassive sedation in the marriage,
a man in fight, financial scarcitywill struggle to afford things
and experiences for his family.
This is erosive to a man's sense ofsignificance and purpose in the world.
(14:32):
Because one of the things about men, theway we're built is we're built to serve.
We're built to provide, we'rebuilt to provide for other
people, to take care of people,
to shelter them.
And we get a large sense of oursatisfaction, our fulfillment
out of our ability to providesafety for other people.
(14:53):
And if we cannot provide financialsafety and security, if we feel that
we're falling short in this area,if we're struggling financially and
having difficulty making ends meetor having to say no to experiences
and opportunities that would help andbless our family, this man will suffer
another erosion of his self confidence,his self esteem, and his self image,
(15:13):
which ultimately Result in thisman feeling depressed, feeling
anxious and feeling worried.
And how does a man who'sfeeling anxious and stressed and
depressed function with his money?
He's not taking creative investments.
(15:34):
He's not making bold moves.
He's playing a timid game ofsimply not trying to lose.
Now, on the other hand, whena man goes from trying not to
lose to wholeheartedly winning,
and when this man starts to experiencefinancial abundance, because the
finances begin to work for him.
(15:57):
His investments, his cashflow, his assets,his debt reduction, or elimination.
This man exists in a place of certaintyand power that a man who's experiencing
mental poverty will never experience.
This man will be better able to handlethe challenges that may come up in
(16:21):
life, whether it's a setback at work orbusiness, whether it's something that
happens between the relationship withthe man is sitting on a solid foundation.
When he's a powerfulprovider for his family,
when he can afford to invest In himselfand his own development as a man where he
can afford to invest in the developmentof others, of his children, of his wife,
when expenses don't stress him out,
(16:43):
this man will start to beginto feel financially liberated.
And in this place of financialliberation, this man is no longer
stressed out at having to say noto funding, certain experiences to
providing certain things for his family,
but he has the joy and the senseof purpose at being able to say.
Yes.
(17:04):
Now for most guys today, we can bestruggling in one of these areas.
In our body, our physical fitness,we're overweight, we lack energy.
In our relationship, in our marriage,we're not sexually fulfilled
or maybe the sex is duty sex.
It just feels hollow.
There's other fractures orarguments in our relationship.
Or perhaps, We just feel like roommatesliving in the same house together.
(17:26):
The spark and the passion of marriage
has dwindled down to barely an ember.
And number three,financially, we're in bondage.
Instead of sitting in a place ofabundance, financially, we find
ourself in the pit of scarcity.
Now the fourth area in which a mancan be experiencing scarcity can feel
erosion of his self of confidence.
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is not being clear on what his purposeis because when a man has gotten to a
certain level where he's no longer inscarcity in his body, he's no longer in
scarcity in his relationships, he's nolonger in scarcity in his finances, when
a man is wealthy, when the man is success,when the man is fulfilled sexually,
when the man has achieved a reasonablelevel of physical fitness and feels
good about his body and the way helooks, this man is then prepared
(18:14):
to start to look at his purpose.
And the funny and almost ironic thingis, is that the men who are most clear
about their purpose Are the men whoautomatically start to win in these
other areas because people are attractedto a man who understands his purpose.
When you know what your purpose is, itfeels like you're sailing with the wind.
You're not having toput in as much effort.
(18:35):
The wind and the waves arecarrying you effortlessly
along towards your destination.
You're actually having fun on the journey.
And on the other hand, when you'renot sure about your purpose, when
you're second guessing in indecision,it can feel like you're trying to
push the sailboat into the wind,rolling with all your might, but
feeling like every time you go 10 feetforward, you're swept 20 feet back.
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So with that, let's talk aboutthis crucial conversation today of
the phony holy versus wholeness.
And the principle here is this,
is that the world society has taught,trained, and educated men today.
With this invisible and insidious lie.
And the lie is that you can be happyand fulfilled by either doing or not
(19:21):
doing certain things and having or nothaving certain experiences or things
you see for the first 40 years of my life.
I believe this lie as well, becausemy well intentioned teachers, my well
intentioned parents, even society atlarge seem to be built around this
idea that to be approved of as a man,to be approved of as a young child,
(19:42):
to be approved of as a teenager.
I needed to do certain things.
If I did certain things,I would be disapproved of.
If I did other thingsI would be approved of.
And this heavy energy that parentsand teachers put towards me was that
Enoch, you must do the right thing.
Don't make the wrong choice.
(20:02):
And this lie is so insidiousthat it has become invisible.
That we may recognize this truthintellectually, we may know that our
exterior circumstances don't determinehow we feel on the inside, but everything
we're taught, almost everything we seein the media, reinforces this insidious
(20:23):
lie, commercialism, all the commercialsof companies, selling, um, What they
want to sell is all based around thecriteria that you will be better off.
You will feel better about yourself.
If you purchase this item, ifyou go on this vacation, if
you invest in this resource.
And so the way that can show up fora person like myself, who's motivated
(20:46):
to do the right thing, who's motivatedto have success in life is that I'm
constantly running from thing to thing.
Checking off some invisiblechecklist of things.
I think I need to do to make me happy
and yet the reason why thislie is So so invisible and
at the same time so insidious
(21:09):
is because at a certain level It's true
because here's what I doknow by doing certain things.
I can become very miserable
I look at people who are addicted to meth.
I look at people who are Sufferingfrom what they call sex addiction,
you know, you would have ahard time arguing that someone
(21:29):
who is addicted to meth You
So what I can tell you is if you stay awayfrom meth, you will stay away from that
being a catalyst for misery in your life.
But that doesn't necessarilymean you'll be happy.
Let me give another example.
Don't have sex outside of marriage.
So from a very young age, this waspounded into my head, by church
(21:51):
leaders, by parents, and it waslike this idea of whatever you do,
don't have sex before marriage.
Or if you're divorced, don'thave sex outside of marriage.
And the reason why people give thisadvice within these circles, where
they say this is because they say thatyou won't be happy if you do that.
So again, they have this frame inthis idea that by doing certain
(22:14):
things, you will achieve happiness.
And this belief is so pervasive,especially in religious cultures today.
That we may not even havetaken the time to question it.
But here's what I can tell youabout this one particular example.
I know a whole lot of people whonever had sex outside of marriage
and they are far from happy.
(22:36):
You see, I built my, I, my whole lifeas a young person, even up until, like
I said, my forties upon this idea that
if I live my life by doing or not doingcertain things, That I would be happy.
And so this put me in thisendless search for happiness.
As a matter of fact, to give anexample of this teaching, when I
was a kid, there was a song thatwe sang called choose the right.
(22:59):
This is a song we sing in church.
It says, and the lyrics go like this.
Choose the right when achoice is placed before you.
In the right, the Holy Spirit guides.
And its light is forever shining o'er you.
When in the right, your heart confides.
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And then the chorus goes, Choosethe right, choose the right.
Let wisdom mark the way before.
In its light, choose the right.
And God will bless you evermore.
Now on the face of it, we cansay, what's the matter with this?
I don't see anything wrong.
What are you suggesting here?
Enoch, are you suggesting thatwe shouldn't choose the right?
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Because here's the thing.
Religion and religious teachers havegiven us a false duality, a false choice.
It's either do the right or do the wrong.
And these things aretied to our happiness.
So like in that primarysong verse, we hear
choose the right and Godwill bless you evermore.
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I think this is a great example of the.
Half truth that I'm talking about here.
The idea that when we choose theright, when we do certain actions by
choosing certain things, that somehowwe'll get blessed by God and that
ultimately this will make us happy.
What I can tell you is that this leadsto what I call being phony, holy.
(24:24):
What is phony?
Holy means.
Phony holy means doing all of the externalthings while still on the inside feeling
sad, feeling depressed and wondering whyour lives aren't turning out the way we
want to, or perhaps we're doing everythingright, but we still have this hole in our
heart and we're not sure how to fill it.
We can be doing everything rightand we can still be feeling
(24:46):
depressed and unhappy on the inside.
This was the exact state in which therulers at the time of Jesus Christ.
Found themselves you see they wereso focused on choosing the right
on doing the right thing that theyhad made an almost endless list of
Checklists of things that they assuredthemselves if they just did these
(25:10):
things they would be approved of by God
All their focus was on the outside.
It was on the doing it was on thehaving and we can see That we still have
not woken up from this blind delusion
now You You may be completelyfree of this delusion.
You may be under no illusion in anyarea of your life, but what I can
(25:32):
guarantee is that most people listen tothis podcast will have some element of
illusion or delusion in their life aroundthis particular idea and principle.
Why is that?
Just because we're human.
Jesus Christ once made a commentwhere he called out the religious
leaders of the time and he comparedthem to whitewashed sepulchres.
(25:56):
He said, which on theoutside appear clean.
But inwardly are full of dead men's bones.
So in Jews, in Jewishsociety, this was a major
insult
because human remains were seenas unclean in Jewish traditions.
As a matter of fact, you wereconsidered unclean if you
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walked over an unmarked grave.
And so we can understand why thePharisees and Sadducees must have been
incensed by what Jesus was saying,because he was suggesting that all they
put on the trappings of holiness, thatalthough they put on the trappings of
religiosity, They put on the trappingsof doing the right thing all the time
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that ultimately they werespiritually dead inside.
And so we can see the samething happening today.
And I saw it in my own life, andI'm still rooting this out in my
life where there's areas in whichI think that the outside world
following some checklist, doing somethingis going to bring me the peace and
(27:00):
the happiness that I'm searching for.
You see the Jews at Jesus'stime were so focused.
On a safe route to heaven, meaninga route that they could understand
intellectually with their minds.
They wanted to have a checklist sothey could pass the so called test.
And so they came to him andthey said, tell us, Lord, when
(27:23):
will the kingdom of heaven come?
You see, they were looking for thekingdom of heaven outside of themselves.
It was an outward focus.
And what did Jesus do?
How did he respond?
The great teacher turnedthem back on themselves.
And he said, I say unto you.
That the kingdom of heavencomes not by observation.
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In other words, you can't see thekingdom of heaven on the outside
through the actions that someone does.
He said, the kingdom of heaven is within,and we see all of his parables and the
majority of his teachings pointing to thisone truth, his entire sermon on the Mount.
He went from focusing on the externalobservable things, and he turned us
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back to the internal unobservablethings, the matters of the heart.
He said, I sent you, ithas been said of old.
Thou shalt not commit adultery, butI say unto you, he who looks at a
woman to lust after her hath alreadycommitted adultery in his heart.
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In the sermon on the mountain, he said,you have heard that it was said by
them of old time thou shalt not kill.
But Jesus said, I say unto you, whoevershall be angry with his brother without a
cause shall be in danger of the judgment.
You see, again and again and again,Jesus was trying to help the people of
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the time who were so blinded by ritualobservances, who were so blinded by
their spiritual hypocrisy, who wereso blinded by their phony holy, that
they missed the matters of the heart.
They missed and they overlooked thegreatest commandment of all, which
is to love the Lord as Jesus put it.
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Your God.
And the second was likened to it,to love your neighbor as yourself.
So here is the principle
of today's episode.
No amount of doing and no amountof having will ever make you happy.
And we can say that we understandthis on an intellectual level.
(29:35):
We may know.
That we don't becomehappy pursuing things.
We don't, we're not happy.
The more sex we have, we're not happy.
The more money we have, we're not happy.
The more things we possess, like we knowthis as men, this is not rocket science.
And yet, when we look at our lives, whatI challenge you to consider is where in
your life are you not living this truth?
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In other words, where in your life are youpursuing things to be able to be happy?
You see what we've done as men today.
As followers of Christ.
Oftentimes we have putthe cart before the horse,
the horse should be pullingthe cart, not vice versa.
(30:17):
And this is where we come to
the practical implementationof this principle today, this
principle that no matter of doingand having will make you happy.
And yet as men, we are drivento do, and we are driven to
have as men, we are driven to
have sexual connection with their wives.
As men, we are driven.
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To financially produce for our families.
You see a business mentor told me oncehe said, powerful people who feel good
about themselves get powerful results.
And so we flip the script here.
Instead of trying to do or have thingsto feel good, we feel good first.
(30:59):
And then out of that feeling good,then we begin to do and have things.
There's a scripture in Almaverse chapter 60, verse 23,
where Captain Moroni writes, and hesays, cleanse the inner vessel first
and the outward vessel will be cleansed.
(31:19):
Also.
He said, behold, God has said,cleanse the inner vessel first and the
outward vessel will be cleansed also.
So what I want you to considertoday is that as you shift your
focus from the doing and fromthe having, as you Pute eight.
And as you leave behind the lie thatdoing any amount of stuff, any amount
(31:45):
of things will bring you the happinessand fulfillment you're seeking for,
you leave behind the lie that havingany number of relationships or personal
possessions is going to bring youthat sense of peace and liberation
that ultimately your soul desires,
that the key, ironically, tohaving the things you want in
(32:06):
life, the key to doing the thingsthat you would like to do in life.
It comes down to you and Icleansing the inner vessel first.
And this is the entire focusof the podcast atonement,
the path of total liberation.
You see atonement is about cleansingthe inner vessel and we don't
cleanse the out the inner vesselby doing outward observances.
(32:28):
It doesn't work that way.
Now there are things we can doon the outside that affect and
influence the inside that That hadgive us a port away to this aspect
But only when they're done in such a wayof a conscious acknowledgment of healing
something that has been broken inside
(32:49):
You see because ultimately the pathof wholeness That thing that Jesus was
talking about when he said be thereforeperfect as your father in heaven is
perfect He meant whole he meant integrated
And in today's language,we might call this healed.
You see, as men today, we're walkingaround with even men and women.
(33:11):
We walk around todaywith unhealed traumas.
And today with the culture of masculinity,a lot of men look at things like
trauma say, Oh, boohoo, get over it.
You know, put your belt on, pullup your bridges, stop complaining.
Life was tough for me too.
Yeah.
My dad hit me when Iwas a kid, get over it.
But what I would have youconsider is that these things
(33:33):
are not meant to be gotten over.
That if you want to unlock the path ofyour greatest expression, the path of your
highest abundance, the path of financialabundance, a healthy bank account,
and yes, even if you want to havemore sex with your wife, it comes
down to you Healing yourself as a man.
(33:53):
So when I say trauma,what do I mean by trauma?
We have a lot of people talkingabout trauma nowadays, trauma, this
trauma, that PTSD, well, that'sa good example of trauma, right?
These men, military men, and womenthat go out in the field of battle and
they have these horrible experiences,these traumatic experiences that
then leave an indelible impressionon their bodies to where they're
no longer consciously aware of thetrauma that these things are having.
(34:17):
Last night, my wife and I, we watchedthe Freud's Last Session, which is a
great movie starring Anthony Hopkinsand it, it, Anthony Hopkins in the movie
plays the, the part of Sigmund Freud.
And in this fictional account, C.
S.
Lewis, who was a Christian thinker atthe time, comes and meets with Sigmund
Freud and they're having this conversationabout whether or not God exists.
(34:39):
And the reason I mention the movie isbecause there's this scene where there's
some bombing, they're in London, andsome bombing sirens go off, and so they
have to leave Sigmund Freud's home, theygo to a nearby church, and they go down
into the basement of the church, and onthe way there, there's a loud pop like
an explosion, it's not an explosion, butthere's a loud noise, and in the movie,
The character that the man playing C.
(35:01):
S.
Lewis goes into this trauma response.
He starts shaking.
He puts his hand over his head.
He obviously is goinginto some fear response.
And that's because it's flashingback to when he was in World War
I, and he was experiencing allthe atrocities that happened then.
When he was in that war now, that'sa major example of trauma, but we as
men and every human being, we all havetrauma that we experienced in our lives
(35:24):
in different ways, shape or forms.
And every trauma is important becauseevery trauma impacts our ability to
show up wholly as we are here today.
And I don't mean wholly inthe terms of without flaw.
I mean, whole in the way thatwe are internally integrated.
(35:46):
As an example, let metell you a quick story.
So when I was eight years old, my momwisely thought it would be very important
that I was involved in athletics andthere was baseball, um, there was
basketball tryouts for the city leaguein Lemoore, California, where I grew up.
And so my mom picked me up from CubScouts and we had had a court of honor.
(36:10):
And so I was dressed in likekind of nice church clothes.
I had a Cub Scout uniform on andI had these nice church shoes on
and she took me directly from thereover to the basketball tryouts.
Okay.
If you can imagine this in your head, Ithink I was closer than nine years old.
So I'm nine years old and in thebasketball trials, it was in this
gym and the coaches were all there.
(36:33):
And there was a lot of kidsthere and a lot of yelling and
a lot of noise happening, andthey gave us some basketballs.
We were supposed to dribble from the halfcourt down to the basket and throw it up
for a layup, and we're supposed to takesome shots so they could see how we were.
So needless to say, this is one of thefirst times I've ever played basketball.
So I completely sucked.
Plus, I also felt extremely out of placebeing dressed in my Cub Scout uniform
(36:57):
and having a pair of church shoes on thatactually happened to like be scuffing
up the floor as I was running across it.
So this is a terrible experience.
And so, After this trial was done, wego to the back behind the gym and the
coaches line up all the kids and thecoaches are in front of us and the coaches
began to do like this little draft.
So they're picking the kids.
You, you, you, you, you, andthey're dividing them up.
(37:18):
There's like, there's like seven coaches.
So there's seven teams, right?
And as the kids are getting picked,my heart's getting lower and lower and
lower because I'm not getting picked.
And as a young boy, thisis, it feels embarrassing.
I feel excluded.
I feel rejected.
(37:38):
I feel like I don't measure up.
I feel like I'm not good enough.
And then finally, when there's aboutfour boys left to be picked, I'm
thinking, okay, now's my chance.
This woman coach points at meand she says, we'll take him.
And then her son, who happened tobe the best kid on the team, loudly
(38:02):
protests and says, mom, don't pick him.
He sucks.
Ooh.
Now, as you can imagine a kidin this social situation of
other boys, A bunch of adults.
This was crushing
to a young boy who was tryingsomething out for the first time
(38:26):
and already had some feelings ofinadequacy about what he was doing.
So instantly, I broke down intotears because I couldn't take
the feeling of feeling rejected.
And feeling like I didn't measure up.
And feeling like I was being excluded.
And feeling like I didn't fit in.
(38:47):
So, the coach picked me anyways.
I went to that team.
Had a decent time on the, on the team.
Still wasn't very good.
And to this day, basketballhas been a sport for me.
That sends me into a mini trauma response.
(39:08):
Now, you know, on my mission and incollege, and even now as an adult,
sometimes I get the opportunityto play basketball, but frankly,
the way that trauma shows up.
So this was a traumatic experiencethat influenced my subconscious.
So the way trauma works,psychologists say.
is when you have something that happensand there's a very strong emotion that
(39:29):
happens along with that thing it literallyrecords something in your subconscious
So imagine, you know If you're aroundback in the day when they had these
these records that went around like arecord player When I was a kid, we had
records and my mom and dad had All thegreats of the sixties and the seventies.
We had the Beach Boys and we had theBeatles, and I used to put on the
(39:51):
record, and I used to love to watchthe record as it spun around, and I
would watch the needle as it kind ofbounced over the grooves and settled
into a groove and kind of played thesong with this kind of scratchy noise.
But I would notice that whenever therewas a scratch, if ever one of these
records got scratched, whenever the needlecame around to that spot, it would jump
and then the song would get messed up.
It might even like jump over toanother spot on the record, so
(40:13):
it might skip a couple verses andthen, and then start playing again.
So the same thing happens to us.
Our bodies are like these records arelike these vinyl records that record
all of the experiences that we have thathave strong emotion connected with them.
So for instance, if we have happyexuberant experiences, if maybe
(40:34):
as a kid, we were a great artistand we always got a lot of praise.
And so doing art made us feel good.
Well, there's a high likelihoodthat we're going to go into a
profession that highlights that thing.
There's a book that talksabout this in depth by a doctor
psychologist, and it's called.
The body keeps score.
And the idea here is that as wegrow up from a young child into
(40:54):
adulthood, we're like this record.
We're like this, this record ofeverything that happens to us, positive
and negative, but with the key thatthere is charged emotion along with it.
So going back to this experience,I had a basketball trouts where
I absolutely failed miserably.
This put a little scratchon my record, so to speak.
(41:17):
And so then every time in the future.
That I was under a situation,particularly with athletics, where
I felt like I didn't measure up,it would trigger the sold memory.
So it would trigger thesefeelings of sadness and these
thoughts of not being enough.
So if you've lived in this world, youhave tons of trauma and things you don't
even recognize that have traumatized you.
(41:38):
Things that your mom said to you,things that your dad said to you,
things that someone on the playgroundsaid to you, your insecurities.
Heck could be even thingsthat happen as an adult
and so I want you to consider that onthis podcast as we talk About the idea
of atonement atonement is not somephilosophical theological thing that we're
referring to Atonement is a real word thatpoints to a real thing and this real thing
(42:02):
is the healing of our trauma as men Thisis how we begin to feel good inside This
is what Moroni meant when he said cleanse.
God said we cleansethe inner vessel first.
This is why Jesus Christ criticizedthe Pharisees and the Sadducees,
the religious teachers of his day,
(42:24):
because they were notfocused on the inner healing.
They were focused onthe outward observances.
So I want you to consider that yourpathway to salvation Your greatest
pathway to financial abundanceyour greatest pathway as a man
to avoiding the Desperation and thedepression of being in a marriage where
(42:48):
you feel like your wife doesn't desire you
avoiding feeling the crushing sense ofInadequacy that you can't provide for
your family in the way that you'd like
the sense that you are a financial slave
I want you to consider that the wayout of this pit of darkness the way
(43:10):
out of this hole You Lies not outsideof you, but it lies inside of you.
Remember, trust the triggers toteach these things in your life
that you blame for your unhappiness,that you blame for your lack of
fulfillment, that you blame for yourlack of success that are ultimately
pointing you and I back to ourselves.
(43:33):
They're telling us with giantred flag with a blaring megaphone
that we have some unhealedtrauma on the inside.
That is begging to be healed.
And the good news is we don't needto do anything to heal this trauma.
(43:54):
We simply need to acknowledge it.
And when we acknowledge it, and when weget honest about it, and we get honest
about the way that it's impacting ourcurrent results and our life, it heals
itself because just like a cut onyour finger will heal over time, the
body is an incredible thing and thebody has an incredible intelligence to
(44:15):
repair and heal these traumas inside.
But we keep that from happening, weprevent that from happening when we sedate
by throwing ourselves into workaholism.
When we sedate by throwing ourselvesinto our church callings to avoid the
(44:36):
numbness of disconnection at home.
When we throw ourselves intoanything, be it a hobby or a side job
or hanging out with our friendsto avoid the numbness of an
area of life that isn't working.
So ultimately this is a message of hope.
This is a message that youdon't need to go through life
(44:59):
as Henry David Thoreau said,living a life of quiet desperation,
but it's going to take a number of things.
It's going to take humility.
It's going to have, it's going totake setting aside our male pride
and our male ego that wants topretend like everything's okay.
We're going to have to let go ofthe stories of our past stories,
like the one we went on this podcastepisode today, that the path to
(45:21):
our ultimate sense of fulfillmentand the ultimate sense of purpose.
comes with us doingthings or having things.
And we can say that Christ saved us.
Yes.
But what I know is you can besaved and you can still be a slave.
So this is what very fewpeople will ever tell you.
(45:42):
They'll tell you thathave financial abundance.
They'll tell you to fix yourrelationship, to fix your marriage,
that you need to do certain things likecommunicate better, like for finance, uh,
in your finances, learn how to budget.
Learn how to market, learn how to sell.
And yes, all these things will help toa certain degree, but only to the level
that you're able to trust thesetriggers to teach and to point
(46:08):
the finger back at yourself
so you can be healed.
Because when we're not healed, weend up creating out of our trauma.
We end up creating out of our fear.
We end up producing outof our sense of lack.
(46:29):
And then this, this, then.
It
makes us more tired, makes us lack energy,
ultimately feeling disillusioned,burned out, stressed, worried, anxious,
(46:51):
and at a very deep level,unhappy and unfulfilled.
So my invitation for you as Ifinish up this episode is to head
over to my website, enochsears.
com.
That's E N O C H, Sears, just like thedepartment store that I think no longer
exists, and sign up for the newsletter.
(47:11):
That's where I share the best content.
The best material, the best tips onhow this process of wholeness actually
works so you can stop trying to paddleup the river against the current
and instead use thecurrent to take you easily
(47:34):
and without forcing, withoutconflict on towards your destination.
Does that mean that occasionallythe bottom of your canoe
won't scrape on the bottom?
Or maybe even come close to capsizing.
Of course not.
But what it does mean is that insteadof fighting the flow of life, you
(47:55):
will then find yourself in a placeof freedom and ease feeling good
first, and then out of that feelinggood, creating powerful results.
So if you've listened to this podcastand something inside of you has
been touched and something insideof you rings, the truth of this idea
(48:18):
that the path of wholeness isthe path to your liberation.
That the alignment of yourinternal world will then begin
to align the external world.
Then my invitation to you is simple.
Come join dozens, dozens of other men likeyourself by heading over to enixsears.
(48:42):
com and signing up for myemail list at that site.
As always, I would love tohear your feedback and comments
about what we discussed today.
Anything that resonated withyou, or perhaps you just want
to share more about your story.
And how you found these thingsto be true for you message me
(49:03):
or hit me up on social media.
I'm happy to respond there as always.
This is Enoch Sears reminding youCarpe Diem and goodbye for now.
Hello, and welcome back to the Atonementpodcast, where we are debunking the
myths and helping you leave the illusionof the lies that keep you stuck.
In your marriage or finances and inyour physical health and your body,
or perhaps you're not strugglingin any of those areas.
And yet you find yourself sittingat the top of the ladder, so
to speak of success in life.
(00:21):
And still inside, you feel likethere's some purpose or something.
That is lacking that's missingthat you haven't been able to fill.
And, you know, no matter how much moneyyou earn, no matter how much sex you
have with your wife, and no matter howmany times you go to the gym, how many
marathons or triathlons you competein, it will never fulfill and fill
that existential hole in your heart.
(00:42):
On today's episode, we're going to bedebunking the myth of the phony holy.
As opposed to the path of wholeness,which is what we teach and talk
about here and preach about here.
On this podcast atonement,the path of total liberation.
Now, as I mentioned, when I started thispodcast off, this is a podcast where we
combine the spiritual and the physical,where there is no separation between
(01:06):
the things that people in religiouscircles say, bring them to happiness.
And yet the very things and thingsthat we enjoy or that we don't enjoy
in our life, our production here inthis physical plane, the quantity,
the quality of our relationships,
the money and the financial abundancewe enjoy or the lack thereof,
and the health and the integrity that weenjoy in our physical vessel, in the body.
(01:30):
Now, before we jump into this conversationof what exactly do I mean by the phony
holy versus wholeness, let's have achat about three main areas and three
main problems that we talk about hereon the atonement podcast that you
might be struggling with problem.
Number one deals with the first domainin no particular order of body being
(01:50):
balanced in business, which is your body.
So what do problemslook like in this area?
Well, as a middle aged man, typicallythe problems in your body domain
might be you feeling like you're fat.
You've gained, you've gained extra weight.
Maybe you look at yourself inthe mirror and you're embarrassed
with how your stomach jiggles.
You look the clothesthat used to fit nicely.
They don't fit you anymore.
Maybe it's 10 years or more thatyou actually looked back at yourself
(02:13):
in the mirror and saw, you know,there's a guy with some athleticism.
There's a guy that canhold his chest high.
Ultimately, you've become aslave to your overweight body.
So when we talk about the path of totalliberation, we're looking at all of these
areas, body being balanced and business.
And if we are, if we are enslaved in anyone of these areas in any way, shape, or
(02:37):
form, then we are not truly liberated.
Then we are not truly freed up tothen pursue our highest purpose
as a man here on this earth.
So here's what it may look like.
If your body domain is not working,
you may simply not behappy with your body.
You may look in the mirror andoccasionally when you stop to think
(02:58):
about it, you get this depressed or evenlow energetic feeling inside that, man,
I feel like I'm aging really quickly.
Or man, as I'm scrollingInstagram, I'm seeing these
people who are muscular and fit.
I'm feeling jealous and I'mfeeling angry and I'm feeling
upset and I'm feeling like.
The world is stacked against me.
(03:19):
When you're a slave to your bodyas a man, this is huge because
what ends up happening is youcan lose confidence as a man.
What I can tell you is that a man that'sphysically fit, the man that has muscles
bulging out of his, his suit coat, when hewalks into that board meeting to make that
important presentation, or when he walksinto the room of peers for an important
(03:40):
business meeting, what I can tell youis it is going to be easier for the man.
Who's physically on fire, who feelsenergetic, who feels physically fitness
body to show up as his best versionof himself, as opposed to a guy that
knows that he's overweight, a guythat knows that he's neglected his
fitness, a guy that has let the yearsbe unkind to him simply because he
(04:02):
didn't want to do the work requiredto keep his body physically fit
and worst case scenario.
When this isn't working, it canlook like high blood pressure.
It can look like a potentialhealth impacts or concerns,
problems with the gut.
It can lead to sprain or pulling musclesand being out of commission for 1, 2, 3
or four weeks, and ultimately just havingthis low energetic feeling of feeling
(04:25):
like we're dragging through life insteadof pushing powerfully through life.
Here's what it looks like when yourbody domain is working for you.
You feel like your body is an ally.
Instead of having your body get inthe way of your production, instead
of having the body get in the wayof your self-confidence, your body
is actually a physical vehicle.
(04:46):
That accelerates you and supportsyou in your production in this life,
because you have integrity in your body,because you take care of your body.
This helps you feel more confident.
It helps you feel more attractive.
You have an additional measureof certainty and power.
And yet the problem is, is that eventhough we may be on fire in one of
(05:10):
these domains, for instance, the bodydomain, we can still be suffering
from low self esteem, from feelingsof shame, from feelings of guilt,
from low self confidence as a man.
If any of these otherdomains are not working.
So let's jump over to domainnumber two, which is we'll call
balance for the purposes of this.
(05:30):
And what this looks like is
when this isn't working primarilywith your spouse, you may be.
Unhappy with the level or frequency ofthe sexual intimacy in your marriage.
Now as guys, there's a lot of ways inwhich our relationships might not be
working, but this is the one that'sgoing to strike closest to home.
(05:52):
And as men, we've become savagelyproficient at being able to hide.
This intense pain that we can feel tobe feel like a stranger an unwanted
man in our own marriage and typicallyhere's what it looks like when this
is not working a very small percentageof men will look themselves in the
mirror and Realize and know that theirmarriage isn't working to the level
(06:15):
that they would like it to work They'refeeling sexually rejected by the wife.
They're feeling sexually unsatisfiedHowever, there's a broad group of
men Probably 80 percent or moreof men that are in marriages where
they're not happy, that they are noteven willing to face the fact that
they aren't happy in their marriage.
And so what they end up doing is theyend up sedating through different ways.
(06:37):
There's lots of different ways to sedate.
You can sedate throughporn, through masturbation.
Those are a couple obvious ways.
You can sedate through cheating.
And yet there's other constructiveways that good men escape this
pain of not feeling sexuallydesired in their own marriage.
Okay.
And for a man that doesn't want to releasethrough porn or, or, or maybe a man who
(07:01):
doesn't ever want to cheat on hiswife, this man will find other
outlets for putting his energy into.
So oftentimes as men, we end upthrowing ourselves into work.
We use work as a screen toignore the deep sense of pain,
the deep sense of disconnectionthat we may feel in our marriage.
And so we may wake up and day today, even tell ourself the story
(07:24):
that we have a great marriage.
And yet, if we were reallyhonest at ourselves.
We could look at our actions and wecould see how we're spending large
amounts of time pursuing hobbies,pursuing side gigs, side jobs, yard
projects, home renovation projects,all to numb the sense of loneliness
(07:50):
that we feel in our own marriage.
Because we know that if we weren'tbusy and engage in those kinds of
things, we'd be face to face with,there we are with our partner.
And we are not happy in that relationship.
When the relationship side ofmarriage isn't working for a
man, it can lead to arguments.
It can lead to again, feellow feelings of self esteem,
feelings of low self confidence.
(08:10):
We can even ask ourself if we're moreaware of this situation, why doesn't
my wife find me more attractive?
Is there something wrong with me?
Have I married the wrong woman?
On the other hand, there's a wholesegment of men like myself, who the
way that they respond to this challengeis by shutting off their libido.
(08:30):
They've turned their libido down tosuch a low simmer that they don't
even notice the lack of sexualconnection in their marriage anymore.
As a matter of fact, I know a man, longtime member of the church, married to a
beautiful woman, and from the outside,they're the perfect picture of perfection.
And yet at home, they have physicalintimacy maybe once or twice a year.
(08:53):
And in a candid conversationI was having with this man,
he said, well, you know what?
I think the ship forme has already sailed.
And the sad part ishe's just 50 years old.
Meaning if you look at the averagelifespan, this man has 30 more
years of marriage to this woman.
And yet he's thrown in thetowel and he's given up.
When we shut off our sexual libido asmen, something very insidious happens.
(09:18):
And this was my case.
So in my life, Because of trauma andreligious dogma and fear, really fear
around my own sexuality as a man,worrying that if I were really to tap
into that sexual energy, if I was, if Iwas to augment my, my libido, if I was
to act on it more frequently, numberone, I might be rejected by my wife,
(09:39):
but number two, it might get so powerfulthat would get out of control and put
me in a situation where I could do whata lot of other men do, where it seems
like sex consumes their life, or they golooking for that sex outside of marriage.
But what I can tell you is when youshut down your sexual libido, when you
turn that sexual drive down to a lowsimmer, when you're not getting sexually
fulfilled at home with your wife,
(10:03):
you will feel uninspired in life.
You will start to get bored.
You will jump from project to project andhobby to hobby, looking for some sort of
external stimuli to be able to fill thewholeness, to fill that deep hole inside.
And to hide and to numb these feelingsthat may turn you cynical towards life,
to where you are well on your way to beingthat grouchy man who just sits on the
(10:25):
couch drinking Diet Pepsi and watchingTV because his life is so miserable.
All he can do is numb himself toavoid the pain of his own sad reality.
Now on the flip side, here'swhat it looks like when this
domain in your life is working.
When you are on fire sexually andintimately with your wife, where your
marriage is working at a very high level,where you guys are able to communicate and
(10:49):
resolve differences very, very quickly.
You will get power as a manfrom being sexually fulfilled.
When your sex tank is topped upas a man, this will spill over
into other areas of your life.
You will gain confidence.
Your self esteem will improve.
Your negative self talk will diminish.
You will be clear on your purpose.
(11:12):
And because your emotions are up, in otherwords, not feeling down and depressed
and uninspired, because you're feelinginspired because you're more excited,
excited, because you're more exuberant,
you will be better able to handle
the various setbacks of life.
And we know that thesesetbacks are going to come.
And when you're better able to handlethose setbacks of life skills, what
(11:35):
ends up happening, you become a morepowerful producer, you become a more
powerful provider, your self confidenceincreases, you And ultimately your sense
of satisfaction and happiness is resting
on a solid foundation because you know,no, no, because you know that no matter
how bad the world gets on the outside.
(11:55):
That in your home and your partnershipand that relationship that is most
vital and most important to you,
that your sexual and emotional needs arebeing fulfilled at a very high level.
And this will spill overinto how your kids see you.
Your kids will feel that energy.
Even if you try to hide the disconnectionthat you're feeling from yourself, even
if you try to hide it from your wife,your kids know, and your kids know whether
(12:17):
you're in a happy relationship or not.
As a matter of fact, my motherdied when I was 16 years old.
So.
Even at that age, I could tell thatmy mom and my dad were not happy.
And as I talk with other friends,other middle aged people like, yeah,
my parents are miserable, right?
The question is you can see that withyour parents, but can you see it with you?
And when a man wakes up to this, when aman wakes up to the fact that his marriage
(12:43):
and his sexual connection and his intimacywith his chosen companion and his wife
is not living up to what he aspires forit to be, when he realizes there's a gap
between where he is and where he couldget to, you This map, this man wakes up
into a very, very difficult conversation.
And this is why it's so mucheasier to sedate with things like
(13:04):
putting ourself in the hobbies,
getting really into physical fitness,throwing ourself into our work or
our career, trying to make lotsof money to numb the pain and the
sadness that we have inside fromthe disconnection with our spouse.
The third area in which wemay be struggling as men is
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Is the financial area.
It's common for us as men tostruggle in financial scarcity
in this place of financialscarcity, ultimately money.
Rules are psychology moneycontrols our life and we feel like
we are a slave to our finances
When this isn't working when thisarea of life when we look at our
(13:45):
four domains body being balance andbusiness This one being business
our male confidence will massivelysuffer There are two things that are
massively demeaning to a man and hissense of significance in the world Number
one is not feeling desired by his wifeand number two his inability to Or his
(14:08):
struggle to be a financial provider.
Both
of these issues willcause massive arguments.
And if not arguments, thenmassive sedation in the marriage,
a man in fight, financial scarcitywill struggle to afford things
and experiences for his family.
This is erosive to a man's sense ofsignificance and purpose in the world.
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Because one of the things about men, theway we're built is we're built to serve.
We're built to provide, we'rebuilt to provide for other
people, to take care of people,
to shelter them.
And we get a large sense of oursatisfaction, our fulfillment
out of our ability to providesafety for other people.
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And if we cannot provide financialsafety and security, if we feel that
we're falling short in this area,if we're struggling financially and
having difficulty making ends meetor having to say no to experiences
and opportunities that would help andbless our family, this man will suffer
another erosion of his self confidence,his self esteem, and his self image,
(15:13):
which ultimately Result in thisman feeling depressed, feeling
anxious and feeling worried.
And how does a man who'sfeeling anxious and stressed and
depressed function with his money?
He's not taking creative investments.
(15:34):
He's not making bold moves.
He's playing a timid game ofsimply not trying to lose.
Now, on the other hand, whena man goes from trying not to
lose to wholeheartedly winning,
and when this man starts to experiencefinancial abundance, because the
finances begin to work for him.
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His investments, his cashflow, his assets,his debt reduction, or elimination.
This man exists in a place of certaintyand power that a man who's experiencing
mental poverty will never experience.
This man will be better able to handlethe challenges that may come up in
(16:21):
life, whether it's a setback at work orbusiness, whether it's something that
happens between the relationship withthe man is sitting on a solid foundation.
When he's a powerfulprovider for his family,
when he can afford to invest In himselfand his own development as a man where he
can afford to invest in the developmentof others, of his children, of his wife,
when expenses don't stress him out,
(16:43):
this man will start to beginto feel financially liberated.
And in this place of financialliberation, this man is no longer
stressed out at having to say noto funding, certain experiences to
providing certain things for his family,
but he has the joy and the senseof purpose at being able to say.
Yes.
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Now for most guys today, we can bestruggling in one of these areas.
In our body, our physical fitness,we're overweight, we lack energy.
In our relationship, in our marriage,we're not sexually fulfilled
or maybe the sex is duty sex.
It just feels hollow.
There's other fractures orarguments in our relationship.
Or perhaps, We just feel like roommatesliving in the same house together.
(17:26):
The spark and the passion of marriage
has dwindled down to barely an ember.
And number three,financially, we're in bondage.
Instead of sitting in a place ofabundance, financially, we find
ourself in the pit of scarcity.
Now the fourth area in which a mancan be experiencing scarcity can feel
erosion of his self of confidence.
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is not being clear on what his purposeis because when a man has gotten to a
certain level where he's no longer inscarcity in his body, he's no longer in
scarcity in his relationships, he's nolonger in scarcity in his finances, when
a man is wealthy, when the man is success,when the man is fulfilled sexually,
when the man has achieved a reasonablelevel of physical fitness and feels
good about his body and the way helooks, this man is then prepared
(18:14):
to start to look at his purpose.
And the funny and almost ironic thingis, is that the men who are most clear
about their purpose Are the men whoautomatically start to win in these
other areas because people are attractedto a man who understands his purpose.
When you know what your purpose is, itfeels like you're sailing with the wind.
You're not having toput in as much effort.
(18:35):
The wind and the waves arecarrying you effortlessly
along towards your destination.
You're actually having fun on the journey.
And on the other hand, when you'renot sure about your purpose, when
you're second guessing in indecision,it can feel like you're trying to
push the sailboat into the wind,rolling with all your might, but
feeling like every time you go 10 feetforward, you're swept 20 feet back.
(18:55):
So with that, let's talk aboutthis crucial conversation today of
the phony holy versus wholeness.
And the principle here is this,
is that the world society has taught,trained, and educated men today.
With this invisible and insidious lie.
And the lie is that you can be happyand fulfilled by either doing or not
(19:21):
doing certain things and having or nothaving certain experiences or things
you see for the first 40 years of my life.
I believe this lie as well, becausemy well intentioned teachers, my well
intentioned parents, even society atlarge seem to be built around this
idea that to be approved of as a man,to be approved of as a young child,
(19:42):
to be approved of as a teenager.
I needed to do certain things.
If I did certain things,I would be disapproved of.
If I did other thingsI would be approved of.
And this heavy energy that parentsand teachers put towards me was that
Enoch, you must do the right thing.
Don't make the wrong choice.
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And this lie is so insidiousthat it has become invisible.
That we may recognize this truthintellectually, we may know that our
exterior circumstances don't determinehow we feel on the inside, but everything
we're taught, almost everything we seein the media, reinforces this insidious
(20:23):
lie, commercialism, all the commercialsof companies, selling, um, What they
want to sell is all based around thecriteria that you will be better off.
You will feel better about yourself.
If you purchase this item, ifyou go on this vacation, if
you invest in this resource.
And so the way that can show up fora person like myself, who's motivated
(20:46):
to do the right thing, who's motivatedto have success in life is that I'm
constantly running from thing to thing.
Checking off some invisiblechecklist of things.
I think I need to do to make me happy
and yet the reason why thislie is So so invisible and
at the same time so insidious
(21:09):
is because at a certain level It's true
because here's what I doknow by doing certain things.
I can become very miserable
I look at people who are addicted to meth.
I look at people who are Sufferingfrom what they call sex addiction,
you know, you would have ahard time arguing that someone
(21:29):
who is addicted to meth You
So what I can tell you is if you stay awayfrom meth, you will stay away from that
being a catalyst for misery in your life.
But that doesn't necessarilymean you'll be happy.
Let me give another example.
Don't have sex outside of marriage.
So from a very young age, this waspounded into my head, by church
(21:51):
leaders, by parents, and it waslike this idea of whatever you do,
don't have sex before marriage.
Or if you're divorced, don'thave sex outside of marriage.
And the reason why people give thisadvice within these circles, where
they say this is because they say thatyou won't be happy if you do that.
So again, they have this frame inthis idea that by doing certain
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things, you will achieve happiness.
And this belief is so pervasive,especially in religious cultures today.
That we may not even havetaken the time to question it.
But here's what I can tell youabout this one particular example.
I know a whole lot of people whonever had sex outside of marriage
and they are far from happy.
(22:36):
You see, I built my, I, my whole lifeas a young person, even up until, like
I said, my forties upon this idea that
if I live my life by doing or not doingcertain things, That I would be happy.
And so this put me in thisendless search for happiness.
As a matter of fact, to give anexample of this teaching, when I
was a kid, there was a song thatwe sang called choose the right.
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This is a song we sing in church.
It says, and the lyrics go like this.
Choose the right when achoice is placed before you.
In the right, the Holy Spirit guides.
And its light is forever shining o'er you.
When in the right, your heart confides.
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And then the chorus goes, Choosethe right, choose the right.
Let wisdom mark the way before.
In its light, choose the right.
And God will bless you evermore.
Now on the face of it, we cansay, what's the matter with this?
I don't see anything wrong.
What are you suggesting here?
Enoch, are you suggesting thatwe shouldn't choose the right?
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Because here's the thing.
Religion and religious teachers havegiven us a false duality, a false choice.
It's either do the right or do the wrong.
And these things aretied to our happiness.
So like in that primarysong verse, we hear
choose the right and Godwill bless you evermore.
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I think this is a great example of the.
Half truth that I'm talking about here.
The idea that when we choose theright, when we do certain actions by
choosing certain things, that somehowwe'll get blessed by God and that
ultimately this will make us happy.
What I can tell you is that this leadsto what I call being phony, holy.
(24:24):
What is phony?
Holy means.
Phony holy means doing all of the externalthings while still on the inside feeling
sad, feeling depressed and wondering whyour lives aren't turning out the way we
want to, or perhaps we're doing everythingright, but we still have this hole in our
heart and we're not sure how to fill it.
We can be doing everything rightand we can still be feeling
(24:46):
depressed and unhappy on the inside.
This was the exact state in which therulers at the time of Jesus Christ.
Found themselves you see they wereso focused on choosing the right
on doing the right thing that theyhad made an almost endless list of
Checklists of things that they assuredthemselves if they just did these
(25:10):
things they would be approved of by God
All their focus was on the outside.
It was on the doing it was on thehaving and we can see That we still have
not woken up from this blind delusion
now You You may be completelyfree of this delusion.
You may be under no illusion in anyarea of your life, but what I can
(25:32):
guarantee is that most people listen tothis podcast will have some element of
illusion or delusion in their life aroundthis particular idea and principle.
Why is that?
Just because we're human.
Jesus Christ once made a commentwhere he called out the religious
leaders of the time and he comparedthem to whitewashed sepulchres.
(25:56):
He said, which on theoutside appear clean.
But inwardly are full of dead men's bones.
So in Jews, in Jewishsociety, this was a major
insult
because human remains were seenas unclean in Jewish traditions.
As a matter of fact, you wereconsidered unclean if you
(26:17):
walked over an unmarked grave.
And so we can understand why thePharisees and Sadducees must have been
incensed by what Jesus was saying,because he was suggesting that all they
put on the trappings of holiness, thatalthough they put on the trappings of
religiosity, They put on the trappingsof doing the right thing all the time
(26:39):
that ultimately they werespiritually dead inside.
And so we can see the samething happening today.
And I saw it in my own life, andI'm still rooting this out in my
life where there's areas in whichI think that the outside world
following some checklist, doing somethingis going to bring me the peace and
(27:00):
the happiness that I'm searching for.
You see the Jews at Jesus'stime were so focused.
On a safe route to heaven, meaninga route that they could understand
intellectually with their minds.
They wanted to have a checklist sothey could pass the so called test.
And so they came to him andthey said, tell us, Lord, when
(27:23):
will the kingdom of heaven come?
You see, they were looking for thekingdom of heaven outside of themselves.
It was an outward focus.
And what did Jesus do?
How did he respond?
The great teacher turnedthem back on themselves.
And he said, I say unto you.
That the kingdom of heavencomes not by observation.
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In other words, you can't see thekingdom of heaven on the outside
through the actions that someone does.
He said, the kingdom of heaven is within,and we see all of his parables and the
majority of his teachings pointing to thisone truth, his entire sermon on the Mount.
He went from focusing on the externalobservable things, and he turned us
(28:09):
back to the internal unobservablethings, the matters of the heart.
He said, I sent you, ithas been said of old.
Thou shalt not commit adultery, butI say unto you, he who looks at a
woman to lust after her hath alreadycommitted adultery in his heart.
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In the sermon on the mountain, he said,you have heard that it was said by
them of old time thou shalt not kill.
But Jesus said, I say unto you, whoevershall be angry with his brother without a
cause shall be in danger of the judgment.
You see, again and again and again,Jesus was trying to help the people of
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the time who were so blinded by ritualobservances, who were so blinded by
their spiritual hypocrisy, who wereso blinded by their phony holy, that
they missed the matters of the heart.
They missed and they overlooked thegreatest commandment of all, which
is to love the Lord as Jesus put it.
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Your God.
And the second was likened to it,to love your neighbor as yourself.
So here is the principle
of today's episode.
No amount of doing and no amountof having will ever make you happy.
And we can say that we understandthis on an intellectual level.
(29:35):
We may know.
That we don't becomehappy pursuing things.
We don't, we're not happy.
The more sex we have, we're not happy.
The more money we have, we're not happy.
The more things we possess, like we knowthis as men, this is not rocket science.
And yet, when we look at our lives, whatI challenge you to consider is where in
your life are you not living this truth?
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In other words, where in your life are youpursuing things to be able to be happy?
You see what we've done as men today.
As followers of Christ.
Oftentimes we have putthe cart before the horse,
the horse should be pullingthe cart, not vice versa.
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And this is where we come to
the practical implementationof this principle today, this
principle that no matter of doingand having will make you happy.
And yet as men, we are drivento do, and we are driven to
have as men, we are driven to
have sexual connection with their wives.
As men, we are driven.
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To financially produce for our families.
You see a business mentor told me oncehe said, powerful people who feel good
about themselves get powerful results.
And so we flip the script here.
Instead of trying to do or have thingsto feel good, we feel good first.
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And then out of that feeling good,then we begin to do and have things.
There's a scripture in Almaverse chapter 60, verse 23,
where Captain Moroni writes, and hesays, cleanse the inner vessel first
and the outward vessel will be cleansed.
(31:19):
Also.
He said, behold, God has said,cleanse the inner vessel first and the
outward vessel will be cleansed also.
So what I want you to considertoday is that as you shift your
focus from the doing and fromthe having, as you Pute eight.
And as you leave behind the lie thatdoing any amount of stuff, any amount
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of things will bring you the happinessand fulfillment you're seeking for,
you leave behind the lie that havingany number of relationships or personal
possessions is going to bring youthat sense of peace and liberation
that ultimately your soul desires,
that the key, ironically, tohaving the things you want in
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life, the key to doing the thingsthat you would like to do in life.
It comes down to you and Icleansing the inner vessel first.
And this is the entire focusof the podcast atonement,
the path of total liberation.
You see atonement is about cleansingthe inner vessel and we don't
cleanse the out the inner vesselby doing outward observances.
(32:28):
It doesn't work that way.
Now there are things we can doon the outside that affect and
influence the inside that That hadgive us a port away to this aspect
But only when they're done in such a wayof a conscious acknowledgment of healing
something that has been broken inside
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You see because ultimately the pathof wholeness That thing that Jesus was
talking about when he said be thereforeperfect as your father in heaven is
perfect He meant whole he meant integrated
And in today's language,we might call this healed.
You see, as men today, we're walkingaround with even men and women.
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We walk around todaywith unhealed traumas.
And today with the culture of masculinity,a lot of men look at things like
trauma say, Oh, boohoo, get over it.
You know, put your belt on, pullup your bridges, stop complaining.
Life was tough for me too.
Yeah.
My dad hit me when Iwas a kid, get over it.
But what I would have youconsider is that these things
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are not meant to be gotten over.
That if you want to unlock the path ofyour greatest expression, the path of your
highest abundance, the path of financialabundance, a healthy bank account,
and yes, even if you want to havemore sex with your wife, it comes
down to you Healing yourself as a man.
(33:53):
So when I say trauma,what do I mean by trauma?
We have a lot of people talkingabout trauma nowadays, trauma, this
trauma, that PTSD, well, that'sa good example of trauma, right?
These men, military men, and womenthat go out in the field of battle and
they have these horrible experiences,these traumatic experiences that
then leave an indelible impressionon their bodies to where they're
no longer consciously aware of thetrauma that these things are having.
(34:17):
Last night, my wife and I, we watchedthe Freud's Last Session, which is a
great movie starring Anthony Hopkinsand it, it, Anthony Hopkins in the movie
plays the, the part of Sigmund Freud.
And in this fictional account, C.
S.
Lewis, who was a Christian thinker atthe time, comes and meets with Sigmund
Freud and they're having this conversationabout whether or not God exists.
(34:39):
And the reason I mention the movie isbecause there's this scene where there's
some bombing, they're in London, andsome bombing sirens go off, and so they
have to leave Sigmund Freud's home, theygo to a nearby church, and they go down
into the basement of the church, and onthe way there, there's a loud pop like
an explosion, it's not an explosion, butthere's a loud noise, and in the movie,
The character that the man playing C.
(35:01):
S.
Lewis goes into this trauma response.
He starts shaking.
He puts his hand over his head.
He obviously is goinginto some fear response.
And that's because it's flashingback to when he was in World War
I, and he was experiencing allthe atrocities that happened then.
When he was in that war now, that'sa major example of trauma, but we as
men and every human being, we all havetrauma that we experienced in our lives
(35:24):
in different ways, shape or forms.
And every trauma is important becauseevery trauma impacts our ability to
show up wholly as we are here today.
And I don't mean wholly inthe terms of without flaw.
I mean, whole in the way thatwe are internally integrated.
(35:46):
As an example, let metell you a quick story.
So when I was eight years old, my momwisely thought it would be very important
that I was involved in athletics andthere was baseball, um, there was
basketball tryouts for the city leaguein Lemoore, California, where I grew up.
And so my mom picked me up from CubScouts and we had had a court of honor.
(36:10):
And so I was dressed in likekind of nice church clothes.
I had a Cub Scout uniform on andI had these nice church shoes on
and she took me directly from thereover to the basketball tryouts.
Okay.
If you can imagine this in your head, Ithink I was closer than nine years old.
So I'm nine years old and in thebasketball trials, it was in this
gym and the coaches were all there.
(36:33):
And there was a lot of kidsthere and a lot of yelling and
a lot of noise happening, andthey gave us some basketballs.
We were supposed to dribble from the halfcourt down to the basket and throw it up
for a layup, and we're supposed to takesome shots so they could see how we were.
So needless to say, this is one of thefirst times I've ever played basketball.
So I completely sucked.
Plus, I also felt extremely out of placebeing dressed in my Cub Scout uniform
(36:57):
and having a pair of church shoes on thatactually happened to like be scuffing
up the floor as I was running across it.
So this is a terrible experience.
And so, After this trial was done, wego to the back behind the gym and the
coaches line up all the kids and thecoaches are in front of us and the coaches
began to do like this little draft.
So they're picking the kids.
You, you, you, you, you, andthey're dividing them up.
(37:18):
There's like, there's like seven coaches.
So there's seven teams, right?
And as the kids are getting picked,my heart's getting lower and lower and
lower because I'm not getting picked.
And as a young boy, thisis, it feels embarrassing.
I feel excluded.
I feel rejected.
(37:38):
I feel like I don't measure up.
I feel like I'm not good enough.
And then finally, when there's aboutfour boys left to be picked, I'm
thinking, okay, now's my chance.
This woman coach points at meand she says, we'll take him.
And then her son, who happened tobe the best kid on the team, loudly
(38:02):
protests and says, mom, don't pick him.
He sucks.
Ooh.
Now, as you can imagine a kidin this social situation of
other boys, A bunch of adults.
This was crushing
to a young boy who was tryingsomething out for the first time
(38:26):
and already had some feelings ofinadequacy about what he was doing.
So instantly, I broke down intotears because I couldn't take
the feeling of feeling rejected.
And feeling like I didn't measure up.
And feeling like I was being excluded.
And feeling like I didn't fit in.
(38:47):
So, the coach picked me anyways.
I went to that team.
Had a decent time on the, on the team.
Still wasn't very good.
And to this day, basketballhas been a sport for me.
That sends me into a mini trauma response.
(39:08):
Now, you know, on my mission and incollege, and even now as an adult,
sometimes I get the opportunityto play basketball, but frankly,
the way that trauma shows up.
So this was a traumatic experiencethat influenced my subconscious.
So the way trauma works,psychologists say.
is when you have something that happensand there's a very strong emotion that
(39:29):
happens along with that thing it literallyrecords something in your subconscious
So imagine, you know If you're aroundback in the day when they had these
these records that went around like arecord player When I was a kid, we had
records and my mom and dad had All thegreats of the sixties and the seventies.
We had the Beach Boys and we had theBeatles, and I used to put on the
(39:51):
record, and I used to love to watchthe record as it spun around, and I
would watch the needle as it kind ofbounced over the grooves and settled
into a groove and kind of played thesong with this kind of scratchy noise.
But I would notice that whenever therewas a scratch, if ever one of these
records got scratched, whenever the needlecame around to that spot, it would jump
and then the song would get messed up.
It might even like jump over toanother spot on the record, so
(40:13):
it might skip a couple verses andthen, and then start playing again.
So the same thing happens to us.
Our bodies are like these records arelike these vinyl records that record
all of the experiences that we have thathave strong emotion connected with them.
So for instance, if we have happyexuberant experiences, if maybe
(40:34):
as a kid, we were a great artistand we always got a lot of praise.
And so doing art made us feel good.
Well, there's a high likelihoodthat we're going to go into a
profession that highlights that thing.
There's a book that talksabout this in depth by a doctor
psychologist, and it's called.
The body keeps score.
And the idea here is that as wegrow up from a young child into
(40:54):
adulthood, we're like this record.
We're like this, this record ofeverything that happens to us, positive
and negative, but with the key thatthere is charged emotion along with it.
So going back to this experience,I had a basketball trouts where
I absolutely failed miserably.
This put a little scratchon my record, so to speak.
(41:17):
And so then every time in the future.
That I was under a situation,particularly with athletics, where
I felt like I didn't measure up,it would trigger the sold memory.
So it would trigger thesefeelings of sadness and these
thoughts of not being enough.
So if you've lived in this world, youhave tons of trauma and things you don't
even recognize that have traumatized you.
(41:38):
Things that your mom said to you,things that your dad said to you,
things that someone on the playgroundsaid to you, your insecurities.
Heck could be even thingsthat happen as an adult
and so I want you to consider that onthis podcast as we talk About the idea
of atonement atonement is not somephilosophical theological thing that we're
referring to Atonement is a real word thatpoints to a real thing and this real thing
(42:02):
is the healing of our trauma as men Thisis how we begin to feel good inside This
is what Moroni meant when he said cleanse.
God said we cleansethe inner vessel first.
This is why Jesus Christ criticizedthe Pharisees and the Sadducees,
the religious teachers of his day,
(42:24):
because they were notfocused on the inner healing.
They were focused onthe outward observances.
So I want you to consider that yourpathway to salvation Your greatest
pathway to financial abundanceyour greatest pathway as a man
to avoiding the Desperation and thedepression of being in a marriage where
(42:48):
you feel like your wife doesn't desire you
avoiding feeling the crushing sense ofInadequacy that you can't provide for
your family in the way that you'd like
the sense that you are a financial slave
I want you to consider that the wayout of this pit of darkness the way
(43:10):
out of this hole You Lies not outsideof you, but it lies inside of you.
Remember, trust the triggers toteach these things in your life
that you blame for your unhappiness,that you blame for your lack of
fulfillment, that you blame for yourlack of success that are ultimately
pointing you and I back to ourselves.
(43:33):
They're telling us with giantred flag with a blaring megaphone
that we have some unhealedtrauma on the inside.
That is begging to be healed.
And the good news is we don't needto do anything to heal this trauma.
(43:54):
We simply need to acknowledge it.
And when we acknowledge it, and when weget honest about it, and we get honest
about the way that it's impacting ourcurrent results and our life, it heals
itself because just like a cut onyour finger will heal over time, the
body is an incredible thing and thebody has an incredible intelligence to
(44:15):
repair and heal these traumas inside.
But we keep that from happening, weprevent that from happening when we sedate
by throwing ourselves into workaholism.
When we sedate by throwing ourselvesinto our church callings to avoid the
(44:36):
numbness of disconnection at home.
When we throw ourselves intoanything, be it a hobby or a side job
or hanging out with our friendsto avoid the numbness of an
area of life that isn't working.
So ultimately this is a message of hope.
This is a message that youdon't need to go through life
(44:59):
as Henry David Thoreau said,living a life of quiet desperation,
but it's going to take a number of things.
It's going to take humility.
It's going to have, it's going totake setting aside our male pride
and our male ego that wants topretend like everything's okay.
We're going to have to let go ofthe stories of our past stories,
like the one we went on this podcastepisode today, that the path to
(45:21):
our ultimate sense of fulfillmentand the ultimate sense of purpose.
comes with us doingthings or having things.
And we can say that Christ saved us.
Yes.
But what I know is you can besaved and you can still be a slave.
So this is what very fewpeople will ever tell you.
(45:42):
They'll tell you thathave financial abundance.
They'll tell you to fix yourrelationship, to fix your marriage,
that you need to do certain things likecommunicate better, like for finance, uh,
in your finances, learn how to budget.
Learn how to market, learn how to sell.
And yes, all these things will help toa certain degree, but only to the level
that you're able to trust thesetriggers to teach and to point
(46:08):
the finger back at yourself
so you can be healed.
Because when we're not healed, weend up creating out of our trauma.
We end up creating out of our fear.
We end up producing outof our sense of lack.
(46:29):
And then this, this, then.
It
makes us more tired, makes us lack energy,
ultimately feeling disillusioned,burned out, stressed, worried, anxious,
(46:51):
and at a very deep level,unhappy and unfulfilled.
So my invitation for you as Ifinish up this episode is to head
over to my website, enochsears.
com.
That's E N O C H, Sears, just like thedepartment store that I think no longer
exists, and sign up for the newsletter.
(47:11):
That's where I share the best content.
The best material, the best tips onhow this process of wholeness actually
works so you can stop trying to paddleup the river against the current
and instead use thecurrent to take you easily
(47:34):
and without forcing, withoutconflict on towards your destination.
Does that mean that occasionallythe bottom of your canoe
won't scrape on the bottom?
Or maybe even come close to capsizing.
Of course not.
But what it does mean is that insteadof fighting the flow of life, you
(47:55):
will then find yourself in a placeof freedom and ease feeling good
first, and then out of that feelinggood, creating powerful results.
So if you've listened to this podcastand something inside of you has
been touched and something insideof you rings, the truth of this idea
(48:18):
that the path of wholeness isthe path to your liberation.
That the alignment of yourinternal world will then begin
to align the external world.
Then my invitation to you is simple.
Come join dozens, dozens of other men likeyourself by heading over to enixsears.
(48:42):
com and signing up for myemail list at that site.
As always, I would love tohear your feedback and comments
about what we discussed today.
Anything that resonated withyou, or perhaps you just want
to share more about your story.
And how you found these thingsto be true for you message me
(49:03):
or hit me up on social media.
I'm happy to respond there as always.
This is Enoch Sears reminding youCarpe Diem and goodbye for now.
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