June 12, 2025 • 46 mins
Roxanne Derhodge welcomes Vicki Gold to discuss her inspiring journey in physical therapy. Vicki shares her perspectives on health and the importance of the mind-body connection, emphasizing the ABCs in life. The conversation covers overcoming the fear of falling through the power of self-talk and the significance of alignment and breathing techniques. They delve into mental ABCs and making conscious choices for well-being. Vicki offers practical tips and exercises for older adults, focusing on core conditioning and muscle strengthening. The episode highlights integrating physical activity into daily life and living purposefully at any age, with insights on maintaining agility and motivation. The episode wraps up with ways to connect with Vicki.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Everyone, it's Roxanne Durhodge.
Thanks for tuning in again to Authentic Livingwith Roxanne.
So today, I have someone that's got an amazingstory.
And I I also have the privilege of sharing myamazing guests with you, and I feel like I
benefit so much just from having these meetamazing people come and talk to us.
(00:23):
So today, have Vicky Gold.
Vicky, welcome.
Welcome to podcast.
Thank you, Roxanne.
I'm really happy to be here.
So Vicky started off today, while we weretalking offline, and Vicky is eight years 80
years old.
And for those of you that are lucky to see thevideo and those of you that are listening, and
she looks absolutely, amazing.
(00:45):
I would not think that she's 80 at all.
And she's gonna share some basic wisdom with usabout what it takes to live and function as
optimally as she has done up to age 80.
So let me tell you a little bit about her, andand then we'll get into it.
She's a registered physical therapist.
She just turned 80 in September of twentytwenty four, and she recently her book
(01:12):
comprises tips on tricks, strategies, andskills that she's garnered along the way.
And the name of the book is Aging Safely,Wisely, and which is just an amazing title.
And Vicky decided on this path of physicaltherapy quite young.
So Vicky, tell us a little bit about what madeyou want to become a physical therapist.
(01:38):
Oh, thanks Roxanne.
As I had mentioned to you a little bit earlier,my brother was born when I was six years old
and he was profoundly mentally retarded.
So right from age seven, six or seven, I wasalready aware of disability, although I didn't
(01:59):
know that name per se.
And then when I turned 10, a school mate ofmine became one of the last victims of polio.
Yeah.
Just as the vaccine came out, she had notgotten it.
So again, I'm with somebody who's in awheelchair and sensitive or not uncomfortable
with disability.
(02:20):
And then finally in, when I was 15, was away atsummer camp.
And my summer camp was visited by a camp ofchildren who were physically handicapped.
And I was completely at ease with them.
I'd be riding on the back of their wheelchairs,taking down hills, going dancing with them.
And one of the counselors asked me what I wasplanning to do or be when I grew up.
(02:45):
And for some reason I thought social worker, Ididn't even know what a social worker did.
I thought I'd be planning parties, But thesocial worker said, you may wanna consider
physical therapy.
They described it, and that was it.
So at age 15, I was already sending offpostcards to the two physical therapy programs
(03:05):
in New York at the time, and that was thebeginning.
I never looked back.
Wow.
So quite the path.
What have you seen over your years in the fieldabout how people think about health, Vicki?
About health?
Because thinking about health, I've seen thewhole range of people who absolutely did not
(03:31):
care for themselves, whether it was because ofalcoholism or morbid obesity that was not
caused by disease or endocrine dysfunction.
So I saw everything, as I said, from the peoplewho had the, showed the least concern for their
physical well-being and even mental well-beingto those who were extreme athletes, extremely
(03:58):
conscious about their health?
Yeah.
So it depends on what people's path was.
So they would come to you for differentreasons.
So they'd either come because, and I'm gonnaassume, and you tell me if this makes sense,
that a lot of times people came to you whenthey weren't well for physical therapy.
Or did they come because they wanted to learn?
(04:19):
And like you said, the athletes, they wouldhave come because they want to enhance things.
When did the bulk of clients come to you overthe years?
Okay.
Physical therapists in general will work withpeople who have had accidents.
So there has been some kind of physical injuryor they've had surgery, which could be anywhere
in the body.
(04:39):
The accidents can be anything that might causebrain damage to quadriplegia or paraplegia.
They usually came through the hospital or I'veworked in nursing homes and you have frail
people there, and you'd want to try to get themto as them functioning as independently as they
(05:01):
possibly could.
So nowadays there is more focus on prevention,but unfortunately, the way our medical
insurance companies work, they are not as goodabout providing coverage for people who simply
want to prevent having falls, maybe becausetheir balance is off accidents or injuries.
(05:26):
And the other challenge we have is that a lotof insurance companies insist that a patient
see a doctor for before going to a physicaltherapist.
And that gets us into a whole politicaldiscussion.
But anyway, they come to answer your question,they usually come because there's been some
(05:47):
kind of an insult to their physical well-being.
It was a very long answer, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Think for the average person that hasn't had orused physical therapy services, I think it's
important that they understand.
Now you talk a lot about something called yousay that we all need to learn our ABCs.
(06:10):
I know what the traditional ABCs are fromschool.
Now you know that I talk a lot about mentalresilience and all my work is around teaching
people to really understand when they're withinalignment, out of alignment and understanding
what they need fundamentally to reconnect orstay connected with themselves.
(06:32):
And that's kind of most of the work that I dowith a lot of leaders and teams and people that
coach with me one to one.
So tell us what the ABCs are.
Tell me tell us what the ABCs are.
So for my ABCs, the set of ABCs is what I nowcall the ABC mind body system, and those are
alignment, which are about our physicalposture, good posture, good alignment.
(06:58):
B is breathing and how we can use our breathingas a tool for stress reduction, as well as a
way to increase our respiratory capacity.
And the C is centering, and centering hasseveral meanings, but for our purpose, I want
you to think of centering as your mind and yourbody working together.
(07:21):
So how I ask the question, how often have youhad an accident, made a mistake, had an injury
because your mind was one place and your bodywas doing something else?
So we just a quick little here's one of thoselittle tricks that I talk about.
There is a system that I call start, act, stop.
(07:46):
So instead of start, act, stop, and it's in thebook.
So to keep from multitasking, which is usuallywhat has us make mistakes and certainly not
function as efficiently as we can.
If we think of starting an activity, whetherit's as simple as washing a dish or writing a
book, you start the activity, you do as much ofit as you're going to do, or if you're washing
(08:11):
a dish, complete that.
There's your action.
And then at some point you declare that youstopped.
You put the dish in the dish drain onto thenext start act stop.
And that's literally how I go through my day.
Oh, go ahead.
And then the one
you So what you're trying to have people do isto stay present, really, like, as much as
(08:33):
possible because and that's the main thing withthe brain.
Right?
The brain is consistently I say the brain issuper high level, but its main function is to
protect us based on fear.
If you think about a lot of people that aren'table to stay present, they're either and in my
practice through the years as a psychotherapistis that was the biggest thing.
(08:53):
People were either anticipating what's gonna gowrong or they're gonna revert back to what did
go wrong.
If you've been badly burned with a stove,you're not gonna put your hand on a stove.
And in the future and, you know, in the past,if you've really, really had those bad
memories, the brain's constantly, I will sayshuttling and casing to ensure that basically
(09:16):
we stay alive.
So it's in a way unlearning or unlearning it,or I would say go back to the fundamentals of
what it took when we were born, right?
Like to learn to go back to that basicinstinct, which I think a lot of times people
get away from.
It's interesting that you mentioned the issueof fear because, in my work I dealt with people
(09:37):
who had pain or had balance issues.
And certainly when you're trying to train themto walk again, fear is very present.
Even people who have not had falls or injuries,take a look at many older people on the street,
and they've got this fear of falling justbecause they've gotten older and they've maybe
(09:58):
not as strong and flexible as they were.
So my strategy, this is one of my strategies.
I'd be walking with someone and my hands areover here because I'd be holding them by the
pelvis, keep them secure.
And I'd say, I'm not gonna tell you you don'thave fear.
I understand.
It's normal to have fear in this situation.
But what I'm gonna suggest is instead ofletting the fear control you, which it's doing
(10:23):
now, you tell the fear, you can come on thiswalk with me, but I'm in control.
So that was my, that's one of my strategies fordealing with fear of falling, which is a big
issue among physical therapy patients.
Which is so true.
My mom had a stroke and she obviously wouldhave falls over the years.
(10:45):
And I noticed that she would basically lookdown.
You don't think about that fundamentally whenyou've never had that issue.
And I would say, Mummy, you're looking down,you need to lift your head because and then I
started to think about when I was walking orrunning or whatever.
Where am I I'm not looking down.
I'm looking forward.
And it's so funny that a lot of times we don'tthink through the mechanics of what our body
(11:08):
does until something goes wrong.
And then you see it, like you said, with olderpeople, that fear kicks in.
They're afraid they're gonna fall again.
And then the neurological elements of the brainjust is anticipating, and then then it it ends
up, unfortunately validating and then they endup falling again, which is so unfortunate,
(11:28):
right?
Yeah.
So I have another strategy.
Again, I can mostly relate to working withpeople when they are walking.
So I use as much mental imagery in my work as Ican.
In fact, for the postural alignment, I won'tsay sit up straight, chin in or chins in, chest
(11:49):
out, whatever.
I'd say think of lengthening, opening, let yourcrown of your head rise towards the ceiling and
you get the core, you get the better posture,but you don't get that rigidity.
But with the fear of falling, one of the otherthings I would do with patients is say, I want
you to say the words, I am tall, strong andconfident, but I'm not, I'm afraid.
(12:14):
No, just say the words.
And that's one example.
I have another example, if you'd like, aboutthe power of the words that we say to
ourselves.
But this, I guess you would use the term selftalk also.
It's a fabulous way to transform how the body'sresponding physically and mentally.
(12:35):
The power of your voice, right?
What we know through the research is you maynot believe it at the beginning.
Clearly, oftentimes when you're doing physicalactivity or I'm teaching someone a mental
strategy because, like you said, we are ourbrains and our bodies, our bodies hold all
emotion, which is, as a psychologist, I'mconstantly teaching people about that to say
(12:58):
you use the example of you're saying to thefear, you're gonna drive today.
And I always say to the people when theirprefrontal cortex or the executive part of the
brain is off, I said, basically, you'restepping on in the passenger seat.
And what you need to actually do is to turn onthe CEO of the brain, and then you go back into
(13:19):
the driver's seat.
So it's not unlike the same kinds of ideas thatwe're talking about, Vicki, really, which is
the body tells you certain things, the braintells but truly, they communicate with each
other ongoing.
And I think, unfortunately, with the medicalkind of model, which in North America we still
(13:39):
work off, what happens is we will spend so muchmoney when someone is not well, but the
preventative element is something that, youknow, when I was in corporate strategy, keeping
somebody well would maybe be a cost to say $500versus when somebody went off on short term
disability.
But guess what happened?
(14:00):
Oftentimes, it took till they went off on shortterm that they could get help.
And we know that when someone's unwell to getthem well again, what that takes.
Right?
It's a lot.
Yes, yeah.
Want, it's
a lot.
Yeah.
That's, I think that just brings back the ideabehind the book which is prevention.
Do these things, learn these ABCs so you canperhaps prevent some of the negative things
(14:26):
that can happen as we get older.
If you don't mind, I want to tell another storyabout I
love stories.
That's Oh, okay.
I think stories just bring things alive becausewe are such visual creatures, so please share
it.
So this is another story about the power of ourself talk.
There was a very senior lady that was wheeledinto the physical therapy department where I
(14:49):
was working, and she's brought to the parallelbars, and it's gonna be my job to stand her up
for the time to get her to start walking again.
And this poor woman, from the minute she'swheeled into the department, is screaming and
crying, I can't.
And Roxanne, we both know that there aredifferent strategies to use with our our
(15:10):
patients, right?
They're all, sweetheart, you can do it.
Come on, just try.
Or maybe, all right, you're going to get up andyou're going to walk and you're going to do it
now.
And I used up all my strategies with this poorlady.
I could not get her passed.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
So I said to her, alright.
You win.
I am going to let you go back to your room.
(15:31):
I'm not gonna try to stand you anymore, but Ido need you to say the words.
I'll try.
And, of course, the voice kept screaming andcrying.
I can't.
I can't.
I said, I promise you, I am going to let youback to your go back to your room.
Will not try to stand you again.
And finally, I heard this little voice.
You can barely hear it.
(15:53):
I'll try.
I said, okay.
Now I'm gonna keep my promise, and I'm gonnalet you go back to your room.
But would you like to try?
At which point, she stood up.
I barely held her.
She walked the length of the parallel bars,turned around, and came back and sat down.
And to this day, alright, this was back in thelate seventies, to this day, the hair on my
(16:16):
arms stands up.
I get goose pimples because if anything canprove the power of the self talk, the things we
say to ourselves, there's an example.
So give me an ex
so align how would I align?
Like, if I were to okay.
Let's go through that because I think that'sthis is powerful stuff.
Okay.
(16:36):
Give me an example of Well, actually we can doto align.
Roxanne, close your eyes if you're willing.
Yes.
And everybody who's watching or listening,ideally you're sitting in a straight back
chair, possibly even sitting at the front edgeof the chair.
Your feet are flat on the floor about hip widthapart.
Your arms either on the armrest or on your, onyour thighs, whatever's comfortable.
(17:00):
And now I'd like you to think, lengthen, andjust let your body do whatever it does.
Open.
And I do want you to be aware of releasingtension in your neck and shoulders and maybe
feeling your shoulders start dropping down andback.
So you've lengthened, you've opened.
(17:24):
Well, a former class a person in my class said,make space in your chest.
And I like that because I found I straightenedup even more.
My shoulders dropped down even more.
Now think of retracting your chin or justsliding your chin back, and you'll feel that
your head's going back onto your trunk a littlebetter.
(17:45):
And finally, imagine the crown of your headrising towards the ceiling.
So don't push it.
Don't force it.
Just imagine it rising.
So you've lengthened, opened, made space inyour chest, chin has retracted, crown of your
head has risen up towards the ceiling.
(18:07):
And if we stay here, so this is alignment, wemight as well go on to the B for breathing.
And the only thing to do here is to of allbecome conscious of your breathing, because
it's such a, an automatic thing that you reallycould never think about your breathing and
(18:27):
you're, you will breathe.
But now you're in good alignment.
You turn your attention to your breathing,breathe in through your nose, let your
midsection expand, let your diaphragm pressingdown on the content in your abdomen, and the
slow prolonged exhalations.
(18:49):
So by doing this good alignment and consciousbreathing, you are starting to become more
centered and you can open our eyes at thispoint, because I could go on, but that's kind
of an idea.
And I guess what I'd like to say is I do aclass here in the community where I live, and I
(19:12):
recommend for everybody who takes classes orjust as you're going through your everyday
activities, remember these ABCs, lengthen open,space in your chest, and then proceed with your
exercise, with your daily activity.
And that's really a point I wanted to bringhome, Roxanne, is that what I promote is not
(19:36):
exercise per se.
In fact, the tagline for my company istransforming the ways you move through life so
that you don't you you are conscious as you aregoing through your everyday activities.
You're conscious.
You may suddenly become aware, oh, I'm a littleslouched.
Up you go.
Oh, I've been holding my breath.
(19:57):
I've been excited.
I've been under tension.
Conscious breathing.
Centering.
Start.
Act.
Stop.
Focus.
So that's that's in a nutshell.
I like it because I think, you know, what'simportant, Vicky, is that most people think
they have to stop to do something.
That little exercise, which only took you acouple minutes with us, really, you can
(20:21):
check-in with yourself throughout the day.
It's something that I often say, little micromoments that you can actually reconnect.
Like sometimes I'm back to back with clientsand calls and those types of things.
And I sometimes just stop and say, okay,where's my breath?
And then try to elongate my breath because Irecognize if I don't do that through the day by
(20:46):
the, say, come four or 05:00, I I would havebeen go go go, and then I'm completely tired.
And I may not physically be tired, but mentallyand emotionally I'm tired.
And then I go move, I guess what happens?
I recover the energy that I should have beengiving myself throughout the day.
Yeah.
Oh, you said something and an idea just flew inand out of my head.
(21:08):
That's okay.
It'll come back or
it won't.
So I think I I love that because I think whathappens is, like, most people will say, don't
have the time.
You know, I have kids.
I have families.
I have jobs.
I have a commute, all those things.
And really what you're suggesting is even ifyou're stuck in traffic and you can actually
(21:29):
fix your posture like you just taught us andlearn how to breathe, a little bit longer up
and down regardless if you're stuck somewhere.
In fact, I guess to really bring home thepoint, the value of exhalation.
So when you become conscious of your breathing,most people will immediately breathe in.
(21:54):
I'd like everybody to think of becomingconscious of their breathing blowout.
Start with your blowing out.
You're gonna be surprised because we have whatI call stale air or in the medical profession,
the residual air that sits in the corners ofthe lungs that we don't breathe out because we
(22:15):
don't do full inhalations, full exhalations allthe time.
But when you get rid of that residual air withthat slow prolonged exhalation, now when you go
to breathe in, there's more lung tissue foroxygenated air.
But I want to really emphasize becoming moreconscious of your slow prolonged exhalations.
(22:40):
Because I think, I'm not totally up on theresearch, but I believe this, the prolonged
exhalations and slow breathing actuallystimulates the parasympathetic nervous system,
which is the relaxing system.
So I'm repeating myself, but I'd like you allto just, when you're stressing or when you
(23:05):
think of it, exhale.
Don't wait to exhale.
Okay.
And that's a conscious thing.
Right?
I've done a lot of yoga over my life, andthat's the biggest thing that I find is that
what happens is you think you know how tobreathe.
Right?
Don't we all know how to breathe?
We breathe, but do we do it properly to thepoint and to your point, when we're going from
(23:29):
thing to thing to thing, like I was talkingthat sometimes happens in my day.
I'm holding obviously, because you're holdingyour breath, because you're busy, and you're
activating the sympathetic nervous system,which puts that body into kind of fight,
flight, or freeze.
And it may not be conscious, but you keep thatup on an ongoing basis.
That's where you get dis ease of the body.
(23:50):
Right?
Like you say, like, with the out of thealignment of naturally, the body knows.
Right?
The body knows what it needs to do, but itneeds your help to facilitate that.
Yeah.
When you have certain tips or tricks orstrategies that may help, I wanted to be
because this business of exhalation is sovaluable for our well-being, there's an
(24:16):
activity you can do where you will actually beincreasing your ability to exhale for longer.
And that strategy is to slow your hold on.
Excuse me.
No.
No.
Great.
Now I get congested.
Is to speak more slowly and get more words outon a breath.
(24:40):
So all these words and these sentences that I'msaying now, I'm done without breathing in at
all.
So speaking is an exhalation is is exhalation.
So here's another way to kind of slow yourselfdown, and nobody really has to know that you're
doing a breathing exercise.
(25:00):
So are you slowing down your speaking then?
You're saying
Well, I I did, but you could also speaknormally and still get as many words and
sentences out on a breath even if you starteven if you stop, I'm stopping, but I'm not
breathing in.
And Yeah.
Take another sentence.
So I can speak normally, but I'm doing it allon one exhalation, and I've just about hit the
(25:21):
end now.
I hadn't thought about that.
Right?
But you're you're you're smiling.
You know?
And, again, it's the power of the unconsciousmind.
Right?
Because we're not thinking I'm not thinkingabout seeing you or listening to you or, you
know, how my body's feeling.
It's just doing its thing automatically.
Then when you kinda start to think about it,you're like, oh goodness.
I I didn't realize I do that.
(25:42):
I do that because it's something that naturallywe do.
Let's talk about the you said you had anotherABC when we were talking earlier.
Yes.
I became so enamored with the idea of an ABCsystem for how we function physically that
eventually I said, I need another ABC systemfor how we function mentally.
And that became are you ready?
(26:04):
That became attitude, beliefs, and commitment.
And in the book, every element of the ABCsystems, everything that's discussed in the
book is presented in the in a format of what isit, why is it important, how do you achieve it,
(26:26):
and sometimes the question is asked, where doyou do it or when and where do you do it?
But I just knocked myself off track.
We were talk oh, the other yeah.
So so with attitudes, beliefs, commitment, welook at, of all, what's the difference between
an attitude and belief?
And the way I described it was that attitudesare things that we can change a little more
(26:50):
easily.
You're having a bad attitude today.
You're feeling rotten.
The scene in Moonstruck, if anybody has seenthe movie, one of the characters is going he's
he's on a rant and Cher is his becomes his loveinterest, smacks him upside his head, snap out
of it.
So attitudes can be adjusted easily, moreeasily than beliefs.
(27:16):
The way I describe beliefs is that they aredeep.
Are things that we are, I would say, givenmaybe even before we're born.
They're part of our culture, our upbringing,and they don't change so easily.
But what I suggest in the book is be willing totake a look at your attitudes and your beliefs.
(27:39):
And some of them are good.
Alright?
Positive attitudes, beliefs in the goodness ofpeople.
Some of these attitudes and beliefs are good,and you wanna maybe acknowledge them and
nurture them.
Others may be more destructive to you, yourrelationships, and certainly there are beliefs
that, can really impact what you see possiblefor yourself, especially as an older woman,
(28:05):
older people, older women, blah blah blah.
So you wanna take a look and use theopportunity to explore your beliefs, see which
ones are really valuable and positive for you,which ones you may be better off transforming
or changing or even getting rid of.
(28:27):
And then the c is commitment.
Right.
Now that you've made these realizations anddiscoveries, what are you gonna do about it?
What are you committed to?
Absolutely.
And, I mean, it and it's a conscious thing.
I think we all have negatives and positivethoughts through the day.
It's really it becomes like which ones do youfeed?
Right?
And not that I'm not saying that I'm nottalking about unicorns and fairies.
(28:51):
Life is real and it can be tough at times, butit's kinda what are you investing in?
Because it can take, like you said, one eventthat can kind of shift things mentally for you.
Or you can kinda go, okay.
That's a bad situation today.
What can I do?
What's within my control?
How do I, like you said, stay present so that Ican think I can make a shift based on what I
(29:13):
tell myself or something like that.
Yeah.
So in reference to habits, let's talk aboutlet's say we have some people maybe that
haven't really they know they need to kind ofdo some physical things.
They're maybe getting a little bit older and,you know, they haven't really done too much to
(29:35):
take care of their body, but maybe they're notunwell.
But they know that as you start to age the bodyand the mind, it needs a little bit more work,
I would say.
So what kind of tips would you give to someonethat hasn't, done much physically, Vicky, to
start kind of doing taking care of themselves?
Okay.
So Roxanne, probably the thing is to beconscious that you want to tune in to know how
(30:02):
your body looks and feels now.
And then for making physical change, there wassomething I heard many years ago, which was
draw a picture as detailed as possible of yourideal self.
And that goes more into your area of expertise,Roxanne.
(30:27):
From a physical point of view, becoming awareof your posture, there's a very simple activity
you can do while you're sitting.
So my recommendation is, could you go to thegym?
Yes.
But there are things you can do at home thatare going to be in the context of your everyday
(30:47):
activities.
So for example, you're sitting on the edge ofyour chair or sit on the edge of your chair, if
you can do it safely, and you do youralignment, lengthen open, make space in your
chest, chin retracts, crown of the head goesup.
Now on top of that, you press down with yourfeet as hard as you can, slow and hard as as if
(31:10):
you were trying to press down to, let's say,the basement below, and the crown of your head
tries to reach up towards the ceiling.
So you can't tell right now.
I don't think you can tell that I'm actuallyworking on my core muscles just by doing this
isometric activity.
The fact that I'm pressing with the muscles,trying to lift, so all the muscles are working,
(31:35):
but I'm talking to you, let you know that I'mbreathing.
All right?
But this is a, an isometric exercise.
And now I'm gonna slowly relax and you may seeme sink down just a little bit, but doing this,
what we call a foot press exercise, when you'resitting, just immediately is going to start
(31:56):
strengthening those muscles that support yourposture.
You can do it in standing also.
So just in the process of standing or maybeeven while you're walking, if you simply think
of getting taller as you take your steps or asyou're standing still, maybe at the sink, I'm
back washing those dishes again, standing atthe sink, standing at the sink.
(32:18):
And again, imagine yourself pressing the feetdown, pressing the head up, make sure you're
not holding your breath.
Alright?
There's that conscious breathing.
And there you are, you're doing coreconditioning as you go through your day.
Now the other activity that's really criticalfor us as we get older is being able to sit and
(32:39):
stand from a chair or toilet seat or getting upand down from your bed.
There is research that says there's arelationship between our ability to sit and
stand independently and to our ability to agewell.
(33:00):
So, yes, many of you may need support in comingto standing, but here's a trick for
strengthening those sit and stand muscles.
You start from standing.
You gotta picture this now.
You start from standing and you keep that goodalignment.
(33:21):
You start bending down and moving your hipsback to the chair.
By the way, always make sure at least one legis touching the chair so you know that the
chair is behind you, and certainly don't dothis on a rolling chair.
So there you are.
You've aligned, you breathed, you're centered.
One leg is touching the chair.
You start to bow down.
Your hips go back onto the chair.
(33:43):
You start lowering yourself down.
Now if you've got weakness in your leg muscles,you know the pass the probability is you're
gonna plop into the chair.
Many of you may be ploppers already.
But if you start from that standing position,align, breathe center, start your sitting, and
(34:04):
just before you lose control, try to staythere.
Do not go all the way down and come back upagain.
And eventually, alright, eventually, you wannabe able to lower yourself and be able to do a
soft landing on the seat of the chair.
It's gonna take longer for you to be able tocome to standing without support, but to start
(34:29):
the strengthening process from the standingposition.
So those are a couple things.
There's your core conditioning.
Like a that's like a little bit of a squatthen, really.
Like It is a squat.
Yeah.
I think of when I to the gym, I went to the gymthis morning and we were doing squats.
But Yeah.
Really, that's like a chair squat then.
It's a squat.
A I've heard I just heard this research,actually, Vicky, that what they say is and I
(34:54):
don't know the sources that they say that thesturdiness of your trunk is indicate indicative
of longevity of life.
Right.
So there and then so, you know, the trunk thecore muscles are the muscles that support the
trunk.
And that's why it's wonderful for people tolearn how to engage the trunk.
(35:16):
And just by thinking that, if you think ofexaggerated, exaggerating, you're lengthening,
you're working those core muscles.
I wanna, you know what, Roxanne?
I wanna caution people that doing sit ups arenot core muscle exercises.
And in fact, sit ups are dangerous for those ofus who have any degree of osteoporosis.
(35:42):
That's, yeah.
So find ways to strengthen your core withoutdoing crunches.
And if you ever need to know more
about that What is something that people can doif they can't do crunches?
That's what I'm saying.
The things we just said, the foot the footpress.
So like I just said, elongating and holdinghelps you just do and breathing.
(36:06):
That alone versus kinda the because, of course,yeah, you do that the wrong way, like you're
saying, and then there's people and I thinksometimes they're saying that women are, you
know, starting to the osteopenia is kicking inwith a lot of females a little bit younger now
than they you know, because of lots ofdifferent things.
(36:27):
Yeah.
And, you know, so the importance of of myself,like I said, to turning almost, I'll turn 60 in
January.
It's really really thinking.
I'd always kind of dump something physical overmy life.
But as you're getting a bit older, you start torealize the importance of movement.
And then it's about I have to say it's aboutgetting on the plane and being able to put my
(36:49):
luggage up high or being able to bend down andbe able to pick up my nieces and nephews at
this point because I don't have grandchildrenor just all those basic things, carry two bags
of groceries Mhmm.
And versus coming back just to take one and gointo the house, all those functional movements
are so core.
And, really, like, what you're saying is it'sbeing able to try to do that on an ongoing
(37:14):
basis and not feel like you have to, like, goto Pilates for an hour or the gym for an hour.
Right.
As a matter of fact, Roxanne, the, I think ifpeople again, I'm gonna try to brainwash them.
If people really take align, breathe center toheart, and then everything they do, even
getting into bed, getting out of bed, rollingover in bed, if you stop, when you prepare,
(37:39):
even if it's just saying to yourself, ABC,because that's what happens to me.
That's how I go through my day.
It's just there.
It's become part of me.
But if you've if you be develop thisconsciousness as you're doing everything
throughout the day and for strengthening, ifyou do an activity, let's say you're reaching
something up and down, do it multiple times.
(38:02):
Lift a heavier can.
If you're doing sit and stand besides doing theslow motion sit, repeat the movement several So
you start adding repetitions, like I said,carrying a can or a bag of something, there are
your weights, and just go through your day, youknow, and you'll have quite a workout.
(38:23):
So I know this has been this has been amazing.
So I want you to talk a little bit about whatit's like to be an 80 year old, and I can tell
your vibrance.
You have a lot of energy.
And you what's it like?
And I want you to talk a little bit aboutenergy at your age because I know that has been
a struggle that I have had to work on withenergy.
(38:46):
So just share with us what it's like.
Well, just know I do like my naps.
Okay.
I'm like, you're talking my language.
I thought I
Oh, that reminds me.
That remind me if I may wonder the naps girls.
Are you talking at point?
Yes.
You did read my bio.
I went to Nabry Nabryma Girls PresbyterianSchool in Trinidad And Tobago.
(39:10):
Okay.
And that's what anybody that's from TheCaribbean that listens to this or from
Trinidad, they and I'm also I'm also their vicepresident of their board here in Toronto.
So the Presbyterians went to The Caribbean andstarted off with the Presbyterian schools, the
Canadian missionaries, and that's that's whatthe NAP schools are about.
(39:30):
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
So now I'll tell you, I was so excited probablythe whole year before I turned 80.
And I didn't wanna burden my husband withhaving to plan something special.
So I live in a lovely community in thefoothills of North Carolina.
It's not an age restricted community, but thereare a lot of us who are not not spring
chickens.
(39:51):
So I decided to throw myself an unsurprisedeightieth birthday celebration.
So we we had a fabulous party, and that wasjust the idea of celebrating.
But what has lit me up about turning 80 is adegree of freedom and just going for it.
(40:15):
It, at this point, there's just really almostno concern about what somebody else may think,
you know, about what I could or shouldn't do.
It's a much, much greater sense of freedom.
And I think I had mentioned there, there's someother personal training programs that I've
(40:37):
done.
And one of them really helped me stop judgingmyself about, oh, here you've written a book,
but you're not doing enough to get it promoted,blah blah blah.
Those negative little voices and being able tolet those go.
And before I forget, Roxanne, this goes back tosomething you were saying a little bit earlier
(40:58):
about not being able to do things.
I I wanna just quickly mention how importantthe, serenity prayer is for me, for everybody,
because it really does help keep stress levelsdown just when something comes up in your life,
whether you're 80 or not, the idea that youknow what you can control, what you can't
(41:22):
control, and you're smart enough to know thedifference.
Again, just I don't know if I answered yourquestion, but there's just a greater freedom.
And as far as I don't do special exercise.
I'll be very honest with you, but I do my ABCs.
Okay.
Okay.
So what I hear is that your one thing that youalso shared is that you always seized
(41:44):
opportunities in your life and you alwaysmoved.
And I think that clearly change sometimes makesus uncomfortable, but it also keeps us mentally
agile, I would say, because you try new things.
And I think we do, unfortunately, sometimeslive in the society that we wanna stay
comfortable, and it's like the mind and thebody.
(42:04):
I call it mental gymnastics, like when I trysomething new and I suck at it, which I suck at
a lot of things.
And then I feel uncomfortable and awkward and Ilaugh at myself because I think, oh, this is
bad.
And then I say a month later or something, Ijust start to play pickleball for instance, and
I'm getting better.
(42:25):
Right?
And then I don't laugh at myself.
I giggle because when I miss the ball and I'mplaying with my friends that are 65 and over,
and they're whipping that ball and they'removing around.
It's so true.
It's about, I think, being kind to yourself tooand like you said, not the shoulds and the
(42:47):
ought tos, which is the part that makes youthink so difficult.
And like you said, that freedom to say, Ireally don't care what people think.
I know what's important to me.
That that values alignment and then making surethat your activities support what you want for
your own life.
It's not based on what anybody else wants.
You know, when I worked with patients who weredown on themselves or feeling hopeless about
(43:10):
whatever their condition was, and what usuallyhelped and keeps me going forward is having a
purpose in life.
Whether it's as small as being able to get upand get dressed and put your makeup on in the
morning or writing a book, whatever yourpurpose is, you know, when you define that, I
(43:32):
think that's also a for me, it's a great sourceof energy, my promise.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I completely agree.
Now, Vicky, this has been an amazingconversation.
I think you've shared a lot with many peoplethat are probably half your age that will learn
some basic things that they should start doingnow.
(43:53):
Now for anyone that wants to connect or learnmore from you, where should they go and where
can they get ahold of you?
Okay.
of all, my website isthera,likeasintherapist,thera,then-fitness, and
it's therafitness.com.
And my email, they are free to email me, isvicki, which is v I c k I thera fitness dot
(44:20):
com.
I welcome hearing from people and welcomequestions and comments.
They have on my website, they'll see the book.
There it is.
And they could actually order it from mywebsite.
There's a book page.
So I hope people will be inspired.
You've given us some amazing tips from them,and I'm sure people are very curious to learn
(44:42):
more.
And again, I thank you for your time.
What am I walking with?
Think we're living so much longer and we canstart today.
It doesn't matter where you're at.
Start today, get up and like you said, if Vickysays, try not to plop.
So that word is sticking in my mind because Ithink I flop into bed sometimes or plop onto
(45:07):
the couch.
Are some of the simple little things that youcan do through your day?
Like you said, begin an activity.
Align breathe center.
Do their ABCs.
Align center.
Using your ABCs.
And using
slow motion.
Right?
So they
can, yeah, be more conscious.
Some basic, basic things.
(45:27):
And I'm I'm thinking that how I can apply theABCs.
And I would challenge you to go out and think,what's one thing that you can do within the
next twenty four hours to apply that conceptand start doing something to move that needle
with whatever you're wanting with your physicaland or your mental health.
So, again, everyone, thanks for hanging outwith Vicky and I.
(45:48):
This was amazing.
I loved it.
Just go to the podcast.
Give us a subscribe, and we'd love to hearfeedback so we can give it to Vicky.
And as with myself, I I'm just in the processof launching my course and life coaching with
my book, the ROR.
If you're interested, we have a couple of spotsleft.
Would love you to connect.
(46:09):
Just reach out to me atRoxanne@RoxanneDurhodge.com, and we can give
you some more information.
Again, Vicky, thanks so much.
Everyone, thanks so much for hanging out withus, and we'll chat with you soon.
Take care.
Bye.
Thanks for tuning in to Authentic Living withRoxanne, creating the space for positive,
(46:29):
healthy change.
Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist,and coach.
To work with Roxanne, visitroxannedurhaj.com/blueprint.
We'll see you next time on Authentic Livingwith Roxanne.
Everyone, it's Roxanne Durhodge.
Thanks for tuning in again to Authentic Livingwith Roxanne.
So today, I have someone that's got an amazingstory.
And I I also have the privilege of sharing myamazing guests with you, and I feel like I
benefit so much just from having these meetamazing people come and talk to us.
(00:23):
So today, have Vicky Gold.
Vicky, welcome.
Welcome to podcast.
Thank you, Roxanne.
I'm really happy to be here.
So Vicky started off today, while we weretalking offline, and Vicky is eight years 80
years old.
And for those of you that are lucky to see thevideo and those of you that are listening, and
she looks absolutely, amazing.
(00:45):
I would not think that she's 80 at all.
And she's gonna share some basic wisdom with usabout what it takes to live and function as
optimally as she has done up to age 80.
So let me tell you a little bit about her, andand then we'll get into it.
She's a registered physical therapist.
She just turned 80 in September of twentytwenty four, and she recently her book
(01:12):
comprises tips on tricks, strategies, andskills that she's garnered along the way.
And the name of the book is Aging Safely,Wisely, and which is just an amazing title.
And Vicky decided on this path of physicaltherapy quite young.
So Vicky, tell us a little bit about what madeyou want to become a physical therapist.
(01:38):
Oh, thanks Roxanne.
As I had mentioned to you a little bit earlier,my brother was born when I was six years old
and he was profoundly mentally retarded.
So right from age seven, six or seven, I wasalready aware of disability, although I didn't
(01:59):
know that name per se.
And then when I turned 10, a school mate ofmine became one of the last victims of polio.
Yeah.
Just as the vaccine came out, she had notgotten it.
So again, I'm with somebody who's in awheelchair and sensitive or not uncomfortable
with disability.
(02:20):
And then finally in, when I was 15, was away atsummer camp.
And my summer camp was visited by a camp ofchildren who were physically handicapped.
And I was completely at ease with them.
I'd be riding on the back of their wheelchairs,taking down hills, going dancing with them.
And one of the counselors asked me what I wasplanning to do or be when I grew up.
(02:45):
And for some reason I thought social worker, Ididn't even know what a social worker did.
I thought I'd be planning parties, But thesocial worker said, you may wanna consider
physical therapy.
They described it, and that was it.
So at age 15, I was already sending offpostcards to the two physical therapy programs
(03:05):
in New York at the time, and that was thebeginning.
I never looked back.
Wow.
So quite the path.
What have you seen over your years in the fieldabout how people think about health, Vicki?
About health?
Because thinking about health, I've seen thewhole range of people who absolutely did not
(03:31):
care for themselves, whether it was because ofalcoholism or morbid obesity that was not
caused by disease or endocrine dysfunction.
So I saw everything, as I said, from the peoplewho had the, showed the least concern for their
physical well-being and even mental well-beingto those who were extreme athletes, extremely
(03:58):
conscious about their health?
Yeah.
So it depends on what people's path was.
So they would come to you for differentreasons.
So they'd either come because, and I'm gonnaassume, and you tell me if this makes sense,
that a lot of times people came to you whenthey weren't well for physical therapy.
Or did they come because they wanted to learn?
(04:19):
And like you said, the athletes, they wouldhave come because they want to enhance things.
When did the bulk of clients come to you overthe years?
Okay.
Physical therapists in general will work withpeople who have had accidents.
So there has been some kind of physical injuryor they've had surgery, which could be anywhere
in the body.
(04:39):
The accidents can be anything that might causebrain damage to quadriplegia or paraplegia.
They usually came through the hospital or I'veworked in nursing homes and you have frail
people there, and you'd want to try to get themto as them functioning as independently as they
(05:01):
possibly could.
So nowadays there is more focus on prevention,but unfortunately, the way our medical
insurance companies work, they are not as goodabout providing coverage for people who simply
want to prevent having falls, maybe becausetheir balance is off accidents or injuries.
(05:26):
And the other challenge we have is that a lotof insurance companies insist that a patient
see a doctor for before going to a physicaltherapist.
And that gets us into a whole politicaldiscussion.
But anyway, they come to answer your question,they usually come because there's been some
(05:47):
kind of an insult to their physical well-being.
It was a very long answer, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Think for the average person that hasn't had orused physical therapy services, I think it's
important that they understand.
Now you talk a lot about something called yousay that we all need to learn our ABCs.
(06:10):
I know what the traditional ABCs are fromschool.
Now you know that I talk a lot about mentalresilience and all my work is around teaching
people to really understand when they're withinalignment, out of alignment and understanding
what they need fundamentally to reconnect orstay connected with themselves.
(06:32):
And that's kind of most of the work that I dowith a lot of leaders and teams and people that
coach with me one to one.
So tell us what the ABCs are.
Tell me tell us what the ABCs are.
So for my ABCs, the set of ABCs is what I nowcall the ABC mind body system, and those are
alignment, which are about our physicalposture, good posture, good alignment.
(06:58):
B is breathing and how we can use our breathingas a tool for stress reduction, as well as a
way to increase our respiratory capacity.
And the C is centering, and centering hasseveral meanings, but for our purpose, I want
you to think of centering as your mind and yourbody working together.
(07:21):
So how I ask the question, how often have youhad an accident, made a mistake, had an injury
because your mind was one place and your bodywas doing something else?
So we just a quick little here's one of thoselittle tricks that I talk about.
There is a system that I call start, act, stop.
(07:46):
So instead of start, act, stop, and it's in thebook.
So to keep from multitasking, which is usuallywhat has us make mistakes and certainly not
function as efficiently as we can.
If we think of starting an activity, whetherit's as simple as washing a dish or writing a
book, you start the activity, you do as much ofit as you're going to do, or if you're washing
(08:11):
a dish, complete that.
There's your action.
And then at some point you declare that youstopped.
You put the dish in the dish drain onto thenext start act stop.
And that's literally how I go through my day.
Oh, go ahead.
And then the one
you So what you're trying to have people do isto stay present, really, like, as much as
(08:33):
possible because and that's the main thing withthe brain.
Right?
The brain is consistently I say the brain issuper high level, but its main function is to
protect us based on fear.
If you think about a lot of people that aren'table to stay present, they're either and in my
practice through the years as a psychotherapistis that was the biggest thing.
(08:53):
People were either anticipating what's gonna gowrong or they're gonna revert back to what did
go wrong.
If you've been badly burned with a stove,you're not gonna put your hand on a stove.
And in the future and, you know, in the past,if you've really, really had those bad
memories, the brain's constantly, I will sayshuttling and casing to ensure that basically
(09:16):
we stay alive.
So it's in a way unlearning or unlearning it,or I would say go back to the fundamentals of
what it took when we were born, right?
Like to learn to go back to that basicinstinct, which I think a lot of times people
get away from.
It's interesting that you mentioned the issueof fear because, in my work I dealt with people
(09:37):
who had pain or had balance issues.
And certainly when you're trying to train themto walk again, fear is very present.
Even people who have not had falls or injuries,take a look at many older people on the street,
and they've got this fear of falling justbecause they've gotten older and they've maybe
(09:58):
not as strong and flexible as they were.
So my strategy, this is one of my strategies.
I'd be walking with someone and my hands areover here because I'd be holding them by the
pelvis, keep them secure.
And I'd say, I'm not gonna tell you you don'thave fear.
I understand.
It's normal to have fear in this situation.
But what I'm gonna suggest is instead ofletting the fear control you, which it's doing
(10:23):
now, you tell the fear, you can come on thiswalk with me, but I'm in control.
So that was my, that's one of my strategies fordealing with fear of falling, which is a big
issue among physical therapy patients.
Which is so true.
My mom had a stroke and she obviously wouldhave falls over the years.
(10:45):
And I noticed that she would basically lookdown.
You don't think about that fundamentally whenyou've never had that issue.
And I would say, Mummy, you're looking down,you need to lift your head because and then I
started to think about when I was walking orrunning or whatever.
Where am I I'm not looking down.
I'm looking forward.
And it's so funny that a lot of times we don'tthink through the mechanics of what our body
(11:08):
does until something goes wrong.
And then you see it, like you said, with olderpeople, that fear kicks in.
They're afraid they're gonna fall again.
And then the neurological elements of the brainjust is anticipating, and then then it it ends
up, unfortunately validating and then they endup falling again, which is so unfortunate,
(11:28):
right?
Yeah.
So I have another strategy.
Again, I can mostly relate to working withpeople when they are walking.
So I use as much mental imagery in my work as Ican.
In fact, for the postural alignment, I won'tsay sit up straight, chin in or chins in, chest
(11:49):
out, whatever.
I'd say think of lengthening, opening, let yourcrown of your head rise towards the ceiling and
you get the core, you get the better posture,but you don't get that rigidity.
But with the fear of falling, one of the otherthings I would do with patients is say, I want
you to say the words, I am tall, strong andconfident, but I'm not, I'm afraid.
(12:14):
No, just say the words.
And that's one example.
I have another example, if you'd like, aboutthe power of the words that we say to
ourselves.
But this, I guess you would use the term selftalk also.
It's a fabulous way to transform how the body'sresponding physically and mentally.
(12:35):
The power of your voice, right?
What we know through the research is you maynot believe it at the beginning.
Clearly, oftentimes when you're doing physicalactivity or I'm teaching someone a mental
strategy because, like you said, we are ourbrains and our bodies, our bodies hold all
emotion, which is, as a psychologist, I'mconstantly teaching people about that to say
(12:58):
you use the example of you're saying to thefear, you're gonna drive today.
And I always say to the people when theirprefrontal cortex or the executive part of the
brain is off, I said, basically, you'restepping on in the passenger seat.
And what you need to actually do is to turn onthe CEO of the brain, and then you go back into
(13:19):
the driver's seat.
So it's not unlike the same kinds of ideas thatwe're talking about, Vicki, really, which is
the body tells you certain things, the braintells but truly, they communicate with each
other ongoing.
And I think, unfortunately, with the medicalkind of model, which in North America we still
(13:39):
work off, what happens is we will spend so muchmoney when someone is not well, but the
preventative element is something that, youknow, when I was in corporate strategy, keeping
somebody well would maybe be a cost to say $500versus when somebody went off on short term
disability.
But guess what happened?
(14:00):
Oftentimes, it took till they went off on shortterm that they could get help.
And we know that when someone's unwell to getthem well again, what that takes.
Right?
It's a lot.
Yes, yeah.
Want, it's
a lot.
Yeah.
That's, I think that just brings back the ideabehind the book which is prevention.
Do these things, learn these ABCs so you canperhaps prevent some of the negative things
(14:26):
that can happen as we get older.
If you don't mind, I want to tell another storyabout I
love stories.
That's Oh, okay.
I think stories just bring things alive becausewe are such visual creatures, so please share
it.
So this is another story about the power of ourself talk.
There was a very senior lady that was wheeledinto the physical therapy department where I
(14:49):
was working, and she's brought to the parallelbars, and it's gonna be my job to stand her up
for the time to get her to start walking again.
And this poor woman, from the minute she'swheeled into the department, is screaming and
crying, I can't.
And Roxanne, we both know that there aredifferent strategies to use with our our
(15:10):
patients, right?
They're all, sweetheart, you can do it.
Come on, just try.
Or maybe, all right, you're going to get up andyou're going to walk and you're going to do it
now.
And I used up all my strategies with this poorlady.
I could not get her passed.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
So I said to her, alright.
You win.
I am going to let you go back to your room.
(15:31):
I'm not gonna try to stand you anymore, but Ido need you to say the words.
I'll try.
And, of course, the voice kept screaming andcrying.
I can't.
I can't.
I said, I promise you, I am going to let youback to your go back to your room.
Will not try to stand you again.
And finally, I heard this little voice.
You can barely hear it.
(15:53):
I'll try.
I said, okay.
Now I'm gonna keep my promise, and I'm gonnalet you go back to your room.
But would you like to try?
At which point, she stood up.
I barely held her.
She walked the length of the parallel bars,turned around, and came back and sat down.
And to this day, alright, this was back in thelate seventies, to this day, the hair on my
(16:16):
arms stands up.
I get goose pimples because if anything canprove the power of the self talk, the things we
say to ourselves, there's an example.
So give me an ex
so align how would I align?
Like, if I were to okay.
Let's go through that because I think that'sthis is powerful stuff.
Okay.
(16:36):
Give me an example of Well, actually we can doto align.
Roxanne, close your eyes if you're willing.
Yes.
And everybody who's watching or listening,ideally you're sitting in a straight back
chair, possibly even sitting at the front edgeof the chair.
Your feet are flat on the floor about hip widthapart.
Your arms either on the armrest or on your, onyour thighs, whatever's comfortable.
(17:00):
And now I'd like you to think, lengthen, andjust let your body do whatever it does.
Open.
And I do want you to be aware of releasingtension in your neck and shoulders and maybe
feeling your shoulders start dropping down andback.
So you've lengthened, you've opened.
(17:24):
Well, a former class a person in my class said,make space in your chest.
And I like that because I found I straightenedup even more.
My shoulders dropped down even more.
Now think of retracting your chin or justsliding your chin back, and you'll feel that
your head's going back onto your trunk a littlebetter.
(17:45):
And finally, imagine the crown of your headrising towards the ceiling.
So don't push it.
Don't force it.
Just imagine it rising.
So you've lengthened, opened, made space inyour chest, chin has retracted, crown of your
head has risen up towards the ceiling.
(18:07):
And if we stay here, so this is alignment, wemight as well go on to the B for breathing.
And the only thing to do here is to of allbecome conscious of your breathing, because
it's such a, an automatic thing that you reallycould never think about your breathing and
(18:27):
you're, you will breathe.
But now you're in good alignment.
You turn your attention to your breathing,breathe in through your nose, let your
midsection expand, let your diaphragm pressingdown on the content in your abdomen, and the
slow prolonged exhalations.
(18:49):
So by doing this good alignment and consciousbreathing, you are starting to become more
centered and you can open our eyes at thispoint, because I could go on, but that's kind
of an idea.
And I guess what I'd like to say is I do aclass here in the community where I live, and I
(19:12):
recommend for everybody who takes classes orjust as you're going through your everyday
activities, remember these ABCs, lengthen open,space in your chest, and then proceed with your
exercise, with your daily activity.
And that's really a point I wanted to bringhome, Roxanne, is that what I promote is not
(19:36):
exercise per se.
In fact, the tagline for my company istransforming the ways you move through life so
that you don't you you are conscious as you aregoing through your everyday activities.
You're conscious.
You may suddenly become aware, oh, I'm a littleslouched.
Up you go.
Oh, I've been holding my breath.
(19:57):
I've been excited.
I've been under tension.
Conscious breathing.
Centering.
Start.
Act.
Stop.
Focus.
So that's that's in a nutshell.
I like it because I think, you know, what'simportant, Vicky, is that most people think
they have to stop to do something.
That little exercise, which only took you acouple minutes with us, really, you can
(20:21):
check-in with yourself throughout the day.
It's something that I often say, little micromoments that you can actually reconnect.
Like sometimes I'm back to back with clientsand calls and those types of things.
And I sometimes just stop and say, okay,where's my breath?
And then try to elongate my breath because Irecognize if I don't do that through the day by
(20:46):
the, say, come four or 05:00, I I would havebeen go go go, and then I'm completely tired.
And I may not physically be tired, but mentallyand emotionally I'm tired.
And then I go move, I guess what happens?
I recover the energy that I should have beengiving myself throughout the day.
Yeah.
Oh, you said something and an idea just flew inand out of my head.
(21:08):
That's okay.
It'll come back or
it won't.
So I think I I love that because I think whathappens is, like, most people will say, don't
have the time.
You know, I have kids.
I have families.
I have jobs.
I have a commute, all those things.
And really what you're suggesting is even ifyou're stuck in traffic and you can actually
(21:29):
fix your posture like you just taught us andlearn how to breathe, a little bit longer up
and down regardless if you're stuck somewhere.
In fact, I guess to really bring home thepoint, the value of exhalation.
So when you become conscious of your breathing,most people will immediately breathe in.
(21:54):
I'd like everybody to think of becomingconscious of their breathing blowout.
Start with your blowing out.
You're gonna be surprised because we have whatI call stale air or in the medical profession,
the residual air that sits in the corners ofthe lungs that we don't breathe out because we
(22:15):
don't do full inhalations, full exhalations allthe time.
But when you get rid of that residual air withthat slow prolonged exhalation, now when you go
to breathe in, there's more lung tissue foroxygenated air.
But I want to really emphasize becoming moreconscious of your slow prolonged exhalations.
(22:40):
Because I think, I'm not totally up on theresearch, but I believe this, the prolonged
exhalations and slow breathing actuallystimulates the parasympathetic nervous system,
which is the relaxing system.
So I'm repeating myself, but I'd like you allto just, when you're stressing or when you
(23:05):
think of it, exhale.
Don't wait to exhale.
Okay.
And that's a conscious thing.
Right?
I've done a lot of yoga over my life, andthat's the biggest thing that I find is that
what happens is you think you know how tobreathe.
Right?
Don't we all know how to breathe?
We breathe, but do we do it properly to thepoint and to your point, when we're going from
(23:29):
thing to thing to thing, like I was talkingthat sometimes happens in my day.
I'm holding obviously, because you're holdingyour breath, because you're busy, and you're
activating the sympathetic nervous system,which puts that body into kind of fight,
flight, or freeze.
And it may not be conscious, but you keep thatup on an ongoing basis.
That's where you get dis ease of the body.
(23:50):
Right?
Like you say, like, with the out of thealignment of naturally, the body knows.
Right?
The body knows what it needs to do, but itneeds your help to facilitate that.
Yeah.
When you have certain tips or tricks orstrategies that may help, I wanted to be
because this business of exhalation is sovaluable for our well-being, there's an
(24:16):
activity you can do where you will actually beincreasing your ability to exhale for longer.
And that strategy is to slow your hold on.
Excuse me.
No.
No.
Great.
Now I get congested.
Is to speak more slowly and get more words outon a breath.
(24:40):
So all these words and these sentences that I'msaying now, I'm done without breathing in at
all.
So speaking is an exhalation is is exhalation.
So here's another way to kind of slow yourselfdown, and nobody really has to know that you're
doing a breathing exercise.
(25:00):
So are you slowing down your speaking then?
You're saying
Well, I I did, but you could also speaknormally and still get as many words and
sentences out on a breath even if you starteven if you stop, I'm stopping, but I'm not
breathing in.
And Yeah.
Take another sentence.
So I can speak normally, but I'm doing it allon one exhalation, and I've just about hit the
(25:21):
end now.
I hadn't thought about that.
Right?
But you're you're you're smiling.
You know?
And, again, it's the power of the unconsciousmind.
Right?
Because we're not thinking I'm not thinkingabout seeing you or listening to you or, you
know, how my body's feeling.
It's just doing its thing automatically.
Then when you kinda start to think about it,you're like, oh goodness.
I I didn't realize I do that.
(25:42):
I do that because it's something that naturallywe do.
Let's talk about the you said you had anotherABC when we were talking earlier.
Yes.
I became so enamored with the idea of an ABCsystem for how we function physically that
eventually I said, I need another ABC systemfor how we function mentally.
And that became are you ready?
(26:04):
That became attitude, beliefs, and commitment.
And in the book, every element of the ABCsystems, everything that's discussed in the
book is presented in the in a format of what isit, why is it important, how do you achieve it,
(26:26):
and sometimes the question is asked, where doyou do it or when and where do you do it?
But I just knocked myself off track.
We were talk oh, the other yeah.
So so with attitudes, beliefs, commitment, welook at, of all, what's the difference between
an attitude and belief?
And the way I described it was that attitudesare things that we can change a little more
(26:50):
easily.
You're having a bad attitude today.
You're feeling rotten.
The scene in Moonstruck, if anybody has seenthe movie, one of the characters is going he's
he's on a rant and Cher is his becomes his loveinterest, smacks him upside his head, snap out
of it.
So attitudes can be adjusted easily, moreeasily than beliefs.
(27:16):
The way I describe beliefs is that they aredeep.
Are things that we are, I would say, givenmaybe even before we're born.
They're part of our culture, our upbringing,and they don't change so easily.
But what I suggest in the book is be willing totake a look at your attitudes and your beliefs.
(27:39):
And some of them are good.
Alright?
Positive attitudes, beliefs in the goodness ofpeople.
Some of these attitudes and beliefs are good,and you wanna maybe acknowledge them and
nurture them.
Others may be more destructive to you, yourrelationships, and certainly there are beliefs
that, can really impact what you see possiblefor yourself, especially as an older woman,
(28:05):
older people, older women, blah blah blah.
So you wanna take a look and use theopportunity to explore your beliefs, see which
ones are really valuable and positive for you,which ones you may be better off transforming
or changing or even getting rid of.
(28:27):
And then the c is commitment.
Right.
Now that you've made these realizations anddiscoveries, what are you gonna do about it?
What are you committed to?
Absolutely.
And, I mean, it and it's a conscious thing.
I think we all have negatives and positivethoughts through the day.
It's really it becomes like which ones do youfeed?
Right?
And not that I'm not saying that I'm nottalking about unicorns and fairies.
(28:51):
Life is real and it can be tough at times, butit's kinda what are you investing in?
Because it can take, like you said, one eventthat can kind of shift things mentally for you.
Or you can kinda go, okay.
That's a bad situation today.
What can I do?
What's within my control?
How do I, like you said, stay present so that Ican think I can make a shift based on what I
(29:13):
tell myself or something like that.
Yeah.
So in reference to habits, let's talk aboutlet's say we have some people maybe that
haven't really they know they need to kind ofdo some physical things.
They're maybe getting a little bit older and,you know, they haven't really done too much to
(29:35):
take care of their body, but maybe they're notunwell.
But they know that as you start to age the bodyand the mind, it needs a little bit more work,
I would say.
So what kind of tips would you give to someonethat hasn't, done much physically, Vicky, to
start kind of doing taking care of themselves?
Okay.
So Roxanne, probably the thing is to beconscious that you want to tune in to know how
(30:02):
your body looks and feels now.
And then for making physical change, there wassomething I heard many years ago, which was
draw a picture as detailed as possible of yourideal self.
And that goes more into your area of expertise,Roxanne.
(30:27):
From a physical point of view, becoming awareof your posture, there's a very simple activity
you can do while you're sitting.
So my recommendation is, could you go to thegym?
Yes.
But there are things you can do at home thatare going to be in the context of your everyday
(30:47):
activities.
So for example, you're sitting on the edge ofyour chair or sit on the edge of your chair, if
you can do it safely, and you do youralignment, lengthen open, make space in your
chest, chin retracts, crown of the head goesup.
Now on top of that, you press down with yourfeet as hard as you can, slow and hard as as if
(31:10):
you were trying to press down to, let's say,the basement below, and the crown of your head
tries to reach up towards the ceiling.
So you can't tell right now.
I don't think you can tell that I'm actuallyworking on my core muscles just by doing this
isometric activity.
The fact that I'm pressing with the muscles,trying to lift, so all the muscles are working,
(31:35):
but I'm talking to you, let you know that I'mbreathing.
All right?
But this is a, an isometric exercise.
And now I'm gonna slowly relax and you may seeme sink down just a little bit, but doing this,
what we call a foot press exercise, when you'resitting, just immediately is going to start
(31:56):
strengthening those muscles that support yourposture.
You can do it in standing also.
So just in the process of standing or maybeeven while you're walking, if you simply think
of getting taller as you take your steps or asyou're standing still, maybe at the sink, I'm
back washing those dishes again, standing atthe sink, standing at the sink.
(32:18):
And again, imagine yourself pressing the feetdown, pressing the head up, make sure you're
not holding your breath.
Alright?
There's that conscious breathing.
And there you are, you're doing coreconditioning as you go through your day.
Now the other activity that's really criticalfor us as we get older is being able to sit and
(32:39):
stand from a chair or toilet seat or getting upand down from your bed.
There is research that says there's arelationship between our ability to sit and
stand independently and to our ability to agewell.
(33:00):
So, yes, many of you may need support in comingto standing, but here's a trick for
strengthening those sit and stand muscles.
You start from standing.
You gotta picture this now.
You start from standing and you keep that goodalignment.
(33:21):
You start bending down and moving your hipsback to the chair.
By the way, always make sure at least one legis touching the chair so you know that the
chair is behind you, and certainly don't dothis on a rolling chair.
So there you are.
You've aligned, you breathed, you're centered.
One leg is touching the chair.
You start to bow down.
Your hips go back onto the chair.
(33:43):
You start lowering yourself down.
Now if you've got weakness in your leg muscles,you know the pass the probability is you're
gonna plop into the chair.
Many of you may be ploppers already.
But if you start from that standing position,align, breathe center, start your sitting, and
(34:04):
just before you lose control, try to staythere.
Do not go all the way down and come back upagain.
And eventually, alright, eventually, you wannabe able to lower yourself and be able to do a
soft landing on the seat of the chair.
It's gonna take longer for you to be able tocome to standing without support, but to start
(34:29):
the strengthening process from the standingposition.
So those are a couple things.
There's your core conditioning.
Like a that's like a little bit of a squatthen, really.
Like It is a squat.
Yeah.
I think of when I to the gym, I went to the gymthis morning and we were doing squats.
But Yeah.
Really, that's like a chair squat then.
It's a squat.
A I've heard I just heard this research,actually, Vicky, that what they say is and I
(34:54):
don't know the sources that they say that thesturdiness of your trunk is indicate indicative
of longevity of life.
Right.
So there and then so, you know, the trunk thecore muscles are the muscles that support the
trunk.
And that's why it's wonderful for people tolearn how to engage the trunk.
(35:16):
And just by thinking that, if you think ofexaggerated, exaggerating, you're lengthening,
you're working those core muscles.
I wanna, you know what, Roxanne?
I wanna caution people that doing sit ups arenot core muscle exercises.
And in fact, sit ups are dangerous for those ofus who have any degree of osteoporosis.
(35:42):
That's, yeah.
So find ways to strengthen your core withoutdoing crunches.
And if you ever need to know more
about that What is something that people can doif they can't do crunches?
That's what I'm saying.
The things we just said, the foot the footpress.
So like I just said, elongating and holdinghelps you just do and breathing.
(36:06):
That alone versus kinda the because, of course,yeah, you do that the wrong way, like you're
saying, and then there's people and I thinksometimes they're saying that women are, you
know, starting to the osteopenia is kicking inwith a lot of females a little bit younger now
than they you know, because of lots ofdifferent things.
(36:27):
Yeah.
And, you know, so the importance of of myself,like I said, to turning almost, I'll turn 60 in
January.
It's really really thinking.
I'd always kind of dump something physical overmy life.
But as you're getting a bit older, you start torealize the importance of movement.
And then it's about I have to say it's aboutgetting on the plane and being able to put my
(36:49):
luggage up high or being able to bend down andbe able to pick up my nieces and nephews at
this point because I don't have grandchildrenor just all those basic things, carry two bags
of groceries Mhmm.
And versus coming back just to take one and gointo the house, all those functional movements
are so core.
And, really, like, what you're saying is it'sbeing able to try to do that on an ongoing
(37:14):
basis and not feel like you have to, like, goto Pilates for an hour or the gym for an hour.
Right.
As a matter of fact, Roxanne, the, I think ifpeople again, I'm gonna try to brainwash them.
If people really take align, breathe center toheart, and then everything they do, even
getting into bed, getting out of bed, rollingover in bed, if you stop, when you prepare,
(37:39):
even if it's just saying to yourself, ABC,because that's what happens to me.
That's how I go through my day.
It's just there.
It's become part of me.
But if you've if you be develop thisconsciousness as you're doing everything
throughout the day and for strengthening, ifyou do an activity, let's say you're reaching
something up and down, do it multiple times.
(38:02):
Lift a heavier can.
If you're doing sit and stand besides doing theslow motion sit, repeat the movement several So
you start adding repetitions, like I said,carrying a can or a bag of something, there are
your weights, and just go through your day, youknow, and you'll have quite a workout.
(38:23):
So I know this has been this has been amazing.
So I want you to talk a little bit about whatit's like to be an 80 year old, and I can tell
your vibrance.
You have a lot of energy.
And you what's it like?
And I want you to talk a little bit aboutenergy at your age because I know that has been
a struggle that I have had to work on withenergy.
(38:46):
So just share with us what it's like.
Well, just know I do like my naps.
Okay.
I'm like, you're talking my language.
I thought I
Oh, that reminds me.
That remind me if I may wonder the naps girls.
Are you talking at point?
Yes.
You did read my bio.
I went to Nabry Nabryma Girls PresbyterianSchool in Trinidad And Tobago.
(39:10):
Okay.
And that's what anybody that's from TheCaribbean that listens to this or from
Trinidad, they and I'm also I'm also their vicepresident of their board here in Toronto.
So the Presbyterians went to The Caribbean andstarted off with the Presbyterian schools, the
Canadian missionaries, and that's that's whatthe NAP schools are about.
(39:30):
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
So now I'll tell you, I was so excited probablythe whole year before I turned 80.
And I didn't wanna burden my husband withhaving to plan something special.
So I live in a lovely community in thefoothills of North Carolina.
It's not an age restricted community, but thereare a lot of us who are not not spring
chickens.
(39:51):
So I decided to throw myself an unsurprisedeightieth birthday celebration.
So we we had a fabulous party, and that wasjust the idea of celebrating.
But what has lit me up about turning 80 is adegree of freedom and just going for it.
(40:15):
It, at this point, there's just really almostno concern about what somebody else may think,
you know, about what I could or shouldn't do.
It's a much, much greater sense of freedom.
And I think I had mentioned there, there's someother personal training programs that I've
(40:37):
done.
And one of them really helped me stop judgingmyself about, oh, here you've written a book,
but you're not doing enough to get it promoted,blah blah blah.
Those negative little voices and being able tolet those go.
And before I forget, Roxanne, this goes back tosomething you were saying a little bit earlier
(40:58):
about not being able to do things.
I I wanna just quickly mention how importantthe, serenity prayer is for me, for everybody,
because it really does help keep stress levelsdown just when something comes up in your life,
whether you're 80 or not, the idea that youknow what you can control, what you can't
(41:22):
control, and you're smart enough to know thedifference.
Again, just I don't know if I answered yourquestion, but there's just a greater freedom.
And as far as I don't do special exercise.
I'll be very honest with you, but I do my ABCs.
Okay.
Okay.
So what I hear is that your one thing that youalso shared is that you always seized
(41:44):
opportunities in your life and you alwaysmoved.
And I think that clearly change sometimes makesus uncomfortable, but it also keeps us mentally
agile, I would say, because you try new things.
And I think we do, unfortunately, sometimeslive in the society that we wanna stay
comfortable, and it's like the mind and thebody.
(42:04):
I call it mental gymnastics, like when I trysomething new and I suck at it, which I suck at
a lot of things.
And then I feel uncomfortable and awkward and Ilaugh at myself because I think, oh, this is
bad.
And then I say a month later or something, Ijust start to play pickleball for instance, and
I'm getting better.
(42:25):
Right?
And then I don't laugh at myself.
I giggle because when I miss the ball and I'mplaying with my friends that are 65 and over,
and they're whipping that ball and they'removing around.
It's so true.
It's about, I think, being kind to yourself tooand like you said, not the shoulds and the
(42:47):
ought tos, which is the part that makes youthink so difficult.
And like you said, that freedom to say, Ireally don't care what people think.
I know what's important to me.
That that values alignment and then making surethat your activities support what you want for
your own life.
It's not based on what anybody else wants.
You know, when I worked with patients who weredown on themselves or feeling hopeless about
(43:10):
whatever their condition was, and what usuallyhelped and keeps me going forward is having a
purpose in life.
Whether it's as small as being able to get upand get dressed and put your makeup on in the
morning or writing a book, whatever yourpurpose is, you know, when you define that, I
(43:32):
think that's also a for me, it's a great sourceof energy, my promise.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I completely agree.
Now, Vicky, this has been an amazingconversation.
I think you've shared a lot with many peoplethat are probably half your age that will learn
some basic things that they should start doingnow.
(43:53):
Now for anyone that wants to connect or learnmore from you, where should they go and where
can they get ahold of you?
Okay.
of all, my website isthera,likeasintherapist,thera,then-fitness, and
it's therafitness.com.
And my email, they are free to email me, isvicki, which is v I c k I thera fitness dot
(44:20):
com.
I welcome hearing from people and welcomequestions and comments.
They have on my website, they'll see the book.
There it is.
And they could actually order it from mywebsite.
There's a book page.
So I hope people will be inspired.
You've given us some amazing tips from them,and I'm sure people are very curious to learn
(44:42):
more.
And again, I thank you for your time.
What am I walking with?
Think we're living so much longer and we canstart today.
It doesn't matter where you're at.
Start today, get up and like you said, if Vickysays, try not to plop.
So that word is sticking in my mind because Ithink I flop into bed sometimes or plop onto
(45:07):
the couch.
Are some of the simple little things that youcan do through your day?
Like you said, begin an activity.
Align breathe center.
Do their ABCs.
Align center.
Using your ABCs.
And using
slow motion.
Right?
So they
can, yeah, be more conscious.
Some basic, basic things.
(45:27):
And I'm I'm thinking that how I can apply theABCs.
And I would challenge you to go out and think,what's one thing that you can do within the
next twenty four hours to apply that conceptand start doing something to move that needle
with whatever you're wanting with your physicaland or your mental health.
So, again, everyone, thanks for hanging outwith Vicky and I.
(45:48):
This was amazing.
I loved it.
Just go to the podcast.
Give us a subscribe, and we'd love to hearfeedback so we can give it to Vicky.
And as with myself, I I'm just in the processof launching my course and life coaching with
my book, the ROR.
If you're interested, we have a couple of spotsleft.
Would love you to connect.
(46:09):
Just reach out to me atRoxanne@RoxanneDurhodge.com, and we can give
you some more information.
Again, Vicky, thanks so much.
Everyone, thanks so much for hanging out withus, and we'll chat with you soon.
Take care.
Bye.
Thanks for tuning in to Authentic Living withRoxanne, creating the space for positive,
(46:29):
healthy change.
Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist,and coach.
To work with Roxanne, visitroxannedurhaj.com/blueprint.
We'll see you next time on Authentic Livingwith Roxanne.
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