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January 22, 2025 17 mins

Making the right decision doesn’t always feel light and easy—sometimes, it feels like grief. In this solo episode, Kaitlin dives into the bittersweet reality of closing a chapter in your life, even when you know it’s the right move. Whether you’re walking away from a job, a relationship, or a routine that’s been part of your identity, it’s normal to feel conflicted emotions. Sadness doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong choice—it’s a reflection of how deeply you care about what you’re leaving behind.

Using personal stories, like her journey through divorce and her client’s leap from corporate life into entrepreneurship, Kaitlin normalizes the duality of human emotions and offers powerful insights into navigating grief as part of growth. This isn’t just about making decisions; it’s about owning them, feeling them, and moving forward with courage and clarity.

If you’ve ever made a hard decision and felt a pang of sadness afterward, this episode is for you. Let’s explore how to honor your feelings while celebrating your bravery.

Key Highlights:

  • Understanding emotional duality: How you can feel both grief and relief simultaneously.
  • Personal reflections on divorce and starting over: The emotional layers of letting go.
  • Practical tips to process sadness and honor your emotions.
  • Why grief is a vital part of growth—and how to move through it.
  • How to celebrate your courage and lean on support while making tough choices.

✨ Tune in to hear why your sadness is not a sign of failure but a testament to your care, courage, and growth. ✨

Be sure to join the pop-up LET THEM Book Club! [Join Us Here]

If you enjoyed this week’s episode, I’d so appreciate you doing a few things for me:

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Sallagirl Slay, welcome to Goal Slayer.
I am your host, Caitlin, and damn, I am happy to be here.
This is actually the first solo episode that I am releasing in 2025.
So that feels pretty damn good.
It's also been a really rough start to the year for a lot of different reasons, butspecifically those of us out here in LA.

(00:30):
You know, we went through the new year and kids finally went back to school and then bam,we had all of the crazy fires out here, which really threw and still throwing.
can't use past tense because the fires are A, still going, although more controlled, butB, the amount of impact that it left will be a really long time.

(00:58):
but that was really heavy and is still going to be something that I'm going to need toprocess.
But that all being said, there was two really potent, important episodes that we kickedthe year off of, or off with, I should say.

(01:18):
And I'm also really excited to share with you, if you don't already know about it, one ofthe good things about the start of this year was,
Mel Robbins, which if you're not familiar with her, have you been living under a rock, butin all seriousness, go find her on Instagram, I would consider her like a North star to
me.
She is somebody that I have admired for a really long time and is very positive in hermessaging, but direct and real.

(01:49):
so anyway, why I share that is that she just came out with the book, Let Them, which is
relevant to the topic that I'm going to be sharing with you today.
And I fell in love with this podcast episode that she named Let Them and so did millionsand millions and millions of other people around the world.
And which is why she wrote this book.
So the book came out in December, but I just got my copy this week, which I'm reallyexcited to have in my hands, but we are doing a pop-up book club.

(02:22):
I am not sure that it'll keep going after let them, but I really wanted to read thistogether as a community because I have referenced this theory for a really long time and
it is such a powerful way to just let shit go and own your energy because our energy isour currency.
And again, this really ties into today's episode, but if you are interested in joiningour, them pop up book club.

(02:49):
I want to encourage you to head down to the show notes and join us.
It's completely free.
It's five weeks.
And it'll just be a really beautiful way to be in community together, but also start theyear with a really powerful tone that like, no, we are not allowing other people to manage
our expectations.
So I wanted to share that with you because sometimes things get missed over in socialmedia.

(03:13):
And I know this year was a bit of, I mean, this week was a bit of a frenzy.
with not only the inauguration, but also just the media with the fires and also the bandof TikTok.
So very easily could have missed that announcement.
And so again, if you'd like to join us, you can head down to the show notes.

(03:34):
All right.
So what are we chatting about today?
You know, I always like to imagine me and you sitting across from each other, just havinglike a fun, casual conversation.
But we go deep, all right?
This is not just like,
on the surface, I was thinking, all right, if we were having coffee, what would I want tolike chat about today?
And it just instantly hit me a couple of weeks ago, I was in a session with a client andshe is leaving her full-time business to start her own business.

(04:08):
And she was having a lot of feelings about it.
Naturally.
It's a big, big thing.
And she gave her notice like, this isn't something she's thinking about.
It's something that's happening.
But she's like, I don't know why I feel sad.
I'm the one that's making the choice to leave.
I'm also doing something I'm really excited about.
But I'm still really, really sad about leaving this job that I've had for a really longtime that I don't hate.

(04:35):
I actually really like it.
And I thought for a second, huh, I can so relate to that.
And I bet you can too.
If you have ever.
done what is best for you, but still felt sadness afterward, like this episode is for you.
And I think often society, which is why I said, let them is such a perfect book fortoday's topic often really dismisses our feelings or, know, we feel guilty for feeling the

(05:08):
way that we do.
Cause like I said, maybe it's our choice or we know it's the best decision.
So I want to just kind of like chat through that first of all.
So.
the first thing I want to dig into is like thinking about the duality of us as humans.
And there is always so much more than what meets the eye.

(05:28):
There's always lots of going on, lots going on, tons of layers, especially as women, weare multi, multi, multi layered.
And the kind of coaching I do is more, of a being based coaching, which means that you canbe both and.
not either or.
So what I mean by that is you can be excited about starting your own business and sadabout saying goodbye to a career you've had for a really long time.

(06:00):
Again, that's what I'm referencing when I say duality.
So it's where you've got two conflicting emotions simultaneously.
And it's relief.
but also grief.
That's one of the dualities specific to this topic that we are dealing with.

(06:21):
And as I was mentioning about society, is society tends to glorify the right decision, butdoesn't acknowledge the emotional cost that can sometimes come with that.
And I'm going to tell you about a personal story of mine where this really deeply relateswith me.
And I know probably will hit with you too.
a little bit later in the episode.

(06:42):
Again, I like to these episodes short.
So when I say later, I mean like in five minutes.
All right, babe, hold on.
So this can happen when we potentially like leave a relationship, leave a job, we moveaway to a new home or a different town.
This can manifest itself in multiple different ways.
And it doesn't even have to be that big.

(07:04):
It can be tiny decisions like,
having a hard conversation because we know that's the right thing that needs to happen,but it doesn't mean we don't feel anxious or worried about the outcome, et cetera.
So I want to, like I said, share with you where this really comes up for me.
And I'm thinking back to when I went through my divorce because the right thing to do forme was to actually get a divorce.

(07:36):
And because I was the one that was leaving, if you will, and I was the one that decided tomove away and start my own business and do all these things, like,
I think that people just thought I wasn't sad and that was hurtful.

(07:58):
Like it almost made me feel again, people can't make you feel anything, but I understandthat the way it made me feel was that I was like, lacked empathy or something that I was
just like so excited to like move away and get divorced and do all these things.

(08:19):
And, and that just wasn't the case.
I was extremely sad and I wasn't sad for like the actual divorce, if that makes sense.
I was sad at so many other things.
I was sad at having to start over.
I was sad at leaving a marriage with somebody who I was married with and friends with fora long time and knowing that that is probably not going to be the case anymore.

(08:49):
I was sad that the marriage wasn't what I thought it was supposed to be.
I was sad that, you know, I was another statistic in divorce and I was sad that mydaughter was going to have to experience this.
I was sad that I was leaving this fitness community that I had helped build that hadbecome my family.
I was so fucking sad, sad.

(09:10):
Like these are big decisions and I was really, really, really sad, but yet.
Nobody checked in on me.
mean, you know, those that I thought that would didn't check in on me and ask like, howare you feeling?
Everyone just assumed I was like on cloud nine.

(09:31):
anytime that we close a chapter, there is so much that happens.
And I think that I suppressed a lot of that because I thought to myself, like, I felt badfor being sad because like I said, well, you did this, Caitlin, you're like the one making
this choice.
And, every time I thought about that, was like, well, I'm not sad about the choice though.

(09:52):
so what is it that I'm sad about?
And I've had years now of processing and I'm very out of that stage.
but I, when my client was going through this feeling of, of this duality from leaving hercareer to starting her business,
it really brought me back to this.
So I want to like normalize this sadness.

(10:14):
If you have ever felt that, or you know, someone that's going through this, like sharethis episode, but like, want to reinforce that grief is part of growth and healing.
And I don't know any other way.
So like, if you do let me know, because why are you keeping it a secret?
But like, it's just sort of part of it.

(10:34):
It really is like, I hate saying that, but we do often have to.
Feel those emotions of sadness and grief in order to properly process and move on.
And I want to remind you that just because you do feel sad doesn't mean that you made thewrong choice.
It's a sign that you really care deeply about what you're leaving behind.

(10:57):
And I want that to just sit with you for a second.
Sadness doesn't mean that you're making the wrong choice.
It just means you care deeply.
And if you're listening to this podcast, if you're in my communities, like, you know thatthis is a community that cares deeply for each other.

(11:18):
So I'm not surprised that you are feeling these feelings too when you have to close andmove on.
And as humans, we are just wired, hardwired to experience a difficult time with change,right?
Change brings uncertainty and uncertainty is not something that the human brain
likes.

(11:40):
even when that change is a good thing, it can still feel like our brains like, what areyou doing?
I, gosh, I'm going to butcher the quote, but it's something like our brains will alwayschoose an unfamiliar hell.
Yeah.
A familiar hell, should say over an unfamiliar heaven.

(12:00):
Our brains were always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
And that's a perfect quote for this because
It is just how we are wired as humans.
again, understanding how we are created and how our brain works and that grief is part ofgrowth and healing.
I hope that that helps to normalize.

(12:21):
If you are in this place now or in the past have felt this way and it's just something toremember to the future because we're always going to have doors closed and new ones open.
And it's important to keep this in mind.
If you're here now or if you find yourself in this situation in the future, I wanted tooffer a few practical tips for helping yourself navigate this because oftentimes we are

(12:48):
the one that has to look out for us and we can ask for help, but then that's that step wehave to actually ask for the help.
People aren't always just going to offer it to us.
In fact, they usually don't.
So number one, I want you to just acknowledge your sadness.
Don't suppress it.
be honest about it with yourself and maybe that's journaling, meditating, talking it out.

(13:11):
I love talking to myself.
know that sounds crazy, but often just being in the car and being able to sort of likehear yourself, say it out loud.
Something different happens when we get it out of our physical body and, and say it intobeing.
And it's why I like podcasting.
Cause I sometimes never know what's going to fly out of my mouth because I'm very in flowwith this, but this is my therapy.

(13:33):
So.
whatever your modality is, I I try the journaling thing and I do love it, but myjournaling is very much saved for gratitude.
And I pretty much do that.
And that is it.
I do not do like extensive writing.
It's just not the way I process.
So find the way that you like to process and acknowledge it.
Also celebrate your courage.

(13:55):
I think that's something that often gets very overlooked is when we are making these harddecisions, you're not giving yourself the credit.
about everything that it took to make that freaking decision.
And also like what is going to open up for you for like taking a chance on yourself and,and, doing what's for your highest good.

(14:15):
Also remembering, like if you do make the wrong choice, like it was never a mistake.
It was just a stepping stone and you can always go back to what you were doing or pivotagain, right?
We are resilient.
So celebrate your courage.
I want you to lean on support.
whether it's in this community, finding your bestie, finding a therapist, finding a coach,someone who can hold space for you in your experience, there is nothing better than when

(14:43):
someone just validates and just is like, yeah, you're sad.
Like exactly like I told my client, I understand why you're sad.
And she's like, does that even make sense?
And I'm like, yes, it makes sense, girl.
Yes, this career has been a part of like your identity, your friendships, like yourroutine.
everything.
Like of course it makes sense why you're sad and she was just like, my God, thank you.

(15:06):
I felt crazy.
I also would love for you to find closure.
So creating some kind of symbolic ritual of something you're leaving behind.
So maybe it's a letter to yourself or something that you burn or something like that.
Just be careful with the burning, do it in a controlled safe area, but doing some kind ofsymbolic.

(15:28):
cord cutting that allows you to detach and move forward.
And lastly is I want you to focus your eyes in the future and where you're at now.
So realize where your feet are, realize how much support you have and how courageous youare and how this decision is aligning with your future growth.

(15:49):
So anyway, I just.
wanted to share this with you because I know that as we are moving into this year, there'sgoing to have to be some decisions that are made that aren't easy, but they are the right
ones.
And I want to encourage you that life is complex and to allow yourself to feel thecomplexities of emotions in life and to feel both and feel proud and know that with growth

(16:15):
comes
know, growth comes from making hard choices and feeling sadness is a sign that you aremoving towards something better while honoring what was.
So I love you so, so, so much.
We are humans and you are doing the best that you can.
Never forget that.
I love you and I will see you back here next week.
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