347: Do husbands just want sex and food? Are good looking people the only ones that can find love?

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.  In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses our first question in which a wife feels like she’s sometimes just being used for sex and food. Question #2 is from a listener wondering if some people are just doomed to never find love.

0:00 Teasers and Intro

1:21 Question 1: Wife admires husband but sometimes feels like all he wants is sex and hot meal

36:29 Question 2: Are some people (in the middle of bell curve) not able to find romantic love?  

1.  I've heard you say that in a good relationship, the man finds the woman attractive while the woman admires the man's character. This describes my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 30 years. He still wants sex a lot, and I admire his work ethic and dedication as a father.  The problem is, I can't help but feel I'm being "used." I often feel like all he wants from me is sex and a hot meal.  He seems to pour 99% of his energy into his job and career advancement, leaving my emotional needs completely neglected. He works long hours, rarely has time for me, and doesn't share in parenting duties. He's constantly stressed and often snaps at me when he's in a bad mood. When I get upset, he always says he didn't mean it and that he only lashed out because he was at his limit.  I know I can't change who he is, and I can't change my own feelings about his attitude. What can I do to improve our situation?

2. Are some people, who are otherwise normal or middle of the bell curve, just not meant to ever find romantic love? If they are reasonably attractive, intelligent, and have good character is it possible for them to still end alone? What would cause this? Is there any truth to the saying that love comes when you are not looking or when you least expect it?
 

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