357: Loving the Irrational, Living with the Stuck, Losing the One

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld.

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro

01:39 Q1: I’ve alerted my wife that she has distortions, but she still has them!

18:53 Irrational emotions vs distortions

29:48 Q2: Why would someone complain about their job but do nothing differently?

47:51 Q3: How can I get over the loss of my husband?

57:33 Final thoughts

Q1: Dear Dr Lisle, pop psychology advises men to validate their wives emotions but how do I validate something that is objectively invalid. I have taken your advice and have tried explaining to her that she has distortions in her personality that cause her to screw her perspective in a way that creates irrational emotions but that only makes her more angry. How can you get someone to see that they are interpreting reality incorrectly?

 

Q2: Why would a person constantly complain, get good advice and solutions, then do absolutely nothing? A person I know works a job they hate, that takes way too much time off them, and pays far to little. They complain bitterly and regularly to friends and family, get all hyped about changing things up, then proceed to do nothing but get back to complaining. I'd like to not give a damn but unfortunately I live with this person.

 

Q3: How to get over loss of a loved one other than “time heals all wounds?” I’m 38 years old and I lost my husband 10 years ago. Since then I’ve isolated myself and pretty much knew for a fact that I would be single for life. I tried going on a few dates but I wasn’t attracted to any of them because deep down I know that I am still in love with my husband, even though ten years have passed. I feel depressed because I often feel lonely, but it’s not a loneliness that can be alleviated with friends or family, it’s because I miss my husband. Is there anything I could do to move on?
 

X: @BeatYourGenes