Planning for Family Gatherings when you have ME

Hello and welcome to Believe in ME with Rhona Barton. 

This podcast is about all things Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) related!

I'm Rhona and I lived with ME for almost 10 years during which time, I was bed-bound and wheelchair-bound, welcome to my Podcast.

Hello and welcome to Believe in ME with Rhona Barton. In this week’s episode I’m going to be chatting about planning for family gatherings. 

You can head to www.rhonabarton.co.uk/media for more information about me and my story.

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Ok, let’s jump straight in!

It probably hasn’t escaped your notice that we’re now well into December. Christmas TV programmes have started and, if you’ve been able to get out to do any shopping, you may have heard a Christmas carol or two being played. 

We know that means, Santa is doing his final checks of his naughty & nice list and is checking over his sleigh in preparation for the big night! Whilst he and Mrs Claus are gathering all of the elves up at the North Pole, you may be preparing yourself for your own gathering over the festive period.

When you think about it, how does it make you feel? 

I always look forward to the idea of Christmas with family but, having been raised between two households, it’s never been a full family celebration. There’s always been a split in the day itself as I transferred from Mum’s house to my Dad & Other Mother’s house. Since I’ve been old enough to work, Christmas day has been a bit of a movable feast for us. I sometimes talk about piquing early for Christmas as I spend a day with my Dad & Other Mother and a day with my Mum prior to 25th December as our Christmas Day. Living 150 miles away from them, my brother and my niece means that I start planning for Christmas around October. This gives us time to check everybody’s diaries and book time in so that we all know what’s happening. It also gives us a chance to change things if other commitments come up or work schedules move. I usually end up with 3 Christmas days a year to get around everybody.

I started this by saying that I always look forward to the idea of a family Christmas and that’s true. Even though I’ve had separate Christmases for almost 40 years, when I consider the idea of Christmas, it’s always an image of a single day with everybody in one place. Which seems ridiculous to me when I say it out loud. I don’t actually remember having a Christmas day like that but that’s what my brain defaults to when imagining Christmas. And it all looks very calm and enjoyable. People seem content.

But that’s not the reality. Christmas, much like other gatherings, can be very stressful in general. Add to that the likes of ME/CFS and Long Covid and it can be far from the ideal. It can bring up some pretty strong feelings. 

The run up to the big day can feel overwhelming and that, in turn, can cause a flare up of symptoms. This is also part of the reason why I decided to start...