Beyond Pronatalism | Finding fulfillment, with or without kids
To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives, and yet how many of us know that we even have a choice about how we define and create our families? Beyond Pronatalism host Nandita Bajaj interviews women and men from diverse backgrounds who are courageously and creatively navigating pronatalism - the powerful pressures to have children - whether from family, friends, or the culture at large. Through intimate conversations, they discuss how they are forging unconventional pathways to fulfillment, including redefining what family means to them - whether that means being childfree or childless, having biological children, adopting or fostering children or animals, or creating close-knit communities of friends and loved ones.
Episodes
Growing up on military bases in a traditional family with traditional expectations, comedian and author Lisa Rimmert always assumed she would have children. But the desire to become a mother never came. After weighing the choice with her husband, they realized that simply "not wanting children" was reason enough, and they found great clarity and freedom in the decision. Now in her early 40s, childfree, vegan, and living with their ...
After surviving sexual violence at age 13 in Indonesia and receiving little support from authorities, Dina Chaerani dedicated her life to advocating for survivors and promoting comprehensive sexuality education. Now living childfree with her partner in the Netherlands, she still faces intense family and social pressure in Indonesia to conform to traditional expectations of marriage and motherhood. Despite these pronatalist pressure...
Parker had known since he was young that he didn't want children, a choice his parents fully supported. However, his request to get a vasectomy at 18 was denied by most medical professionals on the basis of his age. After a lengthy deliberation process, one clinic agreed to perform the procedure on the condition that he freeze his sperm. Now 22, Parker chats about the relief he and his partner feel after his vasectomy and reflects ...
Raised in Peru in a loving family, Sabrina felt affirmed early on in her desire to not have children. But, after moving to Portugal in her 30s, she faced a lot of societal judgment about her decision to remain childfree. With support from her partner and inspiration from the stories she's heard on the Beyond Pronatalism podcast, Sabrina is now building a supportive childfree community in Porto.
Raised within pronatalist rural Midwestern US, Sarah experienced an accidental pregnancy while serving in the Peace Corps and chose to have an abortion. Feeling ashamed and lonely, she turned to the healing power of nature by hiking the Appalachian Trail and found the courage to write a book and speak publicly about her abortion experience. A decade later, Sarah remains grateful for her abortion, and lives a childfree, materially s...
Mike and Nandita met in a philosophy class in Toronto. Nandita was trying to break out of the traditional cultural norms of her Indian upbringing. Mike was dissatisfied by the hyper-consumerist norms of his culture. With shared values around environmentalism, minimalism, and philosophy, they instantly connected — a connection that soon blossomed into a relationship. A transformative conversation around the s...
Growing up in the Soviet Union, Diana felt intense pressure to both excel professionally and become a mother. As a young adult focused on her academic and professional path, her parents' unrelenting pressures for grandchildren left her feeling angry and betrayed. Her rebellion led her to create a multi-media project about regretful mothers titled Undo Motherhood. An accidental pregnancy followed by a miscarriage made her realize th...
Christine grew up in a rural community in midwestern U.S., fearing teen pregnancy and sensing early on that motherhood didn't appeal to her - as she longed to broaden her horizons through education and travel. After an abusive marriage and a long, difficult divorce, she felt both relief that she hadn't become a parent in that relationship and grief that the choice was no longer hers. Today, Christine feels gratitude that she didn't...
Growing up Lucy assumed she'd follow the traditional path of marriage and motherhood but, as she grew older, she found herself increasingly questioning the dominant cultural script. Despite a brief period of intense broodiness, she realized that the single, childfree life gave her the freedom, peace, and purpose that she craved. Today, through her Thrive Solo podcast and book, Lucy empowers others to reject pronatalist expectation...
Distraught by her infertility diagnosis, Pamela pursued the IVF pathway. A decade of costly and painful failed fertility treatments left Pamela traumatized. Determined to expose the exploitative and dangerously pronatalist practices of the highly unregulated multi-billion dollar fertility industry and to bring together other IVF survivors, she founded the "silent sorority" community an...
Mandy, a Singaporean teacher of Indian descent, entered an arranged marriage where her decision to remain childfree was first accepted but later challenged by her Indian husband and in-laws. Pressured to have children and provide a dowry, she risked the stigma of divorce rather than compromise her values. Today, Mandy lives happily childfree, courageously embracing a life true to her a...
Rebecca grew up homeschooled in a patriarchal American family, later serving as a Marine, attending university, and traveling the world. Bound by the shared trauma and values of their upbringing, Rebecca remained very close to her sister. Awakening to feminism and the planetary crisis together, they both decided to not have children. Today, Rebecca and her sister live together as each other's chosen life partners surrounded by mutu...
Raised in a conservative Indian family, Sneha knew from an early age that she didn't want to have a biological child. As a teen she discovered her queer identity, and in her twenties Sneha made the difficult but liberating decision to leave her parents' house and hometown. Sneha has rejected the patriarchal expectations of procreation and marriage and embraced her own path - filled wit...
At age 27 Elena is diagnosed with an advanced cancerous brain tumor. As she confronts this life-changing and grief-filled reality, she also wrestles with the question of whether to bring a child into the world - balancing her love for children and the future she once imagined against her understanding of ecological overshoot, pronatalist pressures, and the profound uncertainties of life itself.
From a very early age Pip sensed she didn't want children, and a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure at 15 confirmed that path. As she grew older, Pip found herself desperately searching for the perfect partner to complete her. A chance conversation blew open the door regarding societal expectations around relationships, sex, and conventional measures of success. Childfree, single, and celibate, Pip lives an independent, authent...
Growing up in rural England, Joe knew early in life that he didn't want children and felt a deep connection to the natural world. While navigating pressures to conform to "normal" life, he lost that connection in his 20s. Now, alongside his partner, he's built a purposeful childfree life rooted in love for nonhumans — founding and managing an ecocentric journal called The Ecological Ci...
Originally from Pakistan and now based in Canada, Sonia and Aamer met as adults. They decided together that they wanted to become parents, but were also deeply concerned about the environment. After spending a few years carefully weighing their emotional and financial readiness, environmental values, and desire for parenthood, they chose to have one child. Right after the birth of their son, they knew that their family of five, inc...
After nearly becoming a mother in a marriage that wasn't right, Jennifer shares how divorce and a commitment to self-definition became her path to clarity. Starting over has been emotionally wrenching, but she's forging her own path of deep friendship, meaningful community service, and dedication to authentically being herself.
https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podca...
Raised in a Black feminist family of highly educated women committed to service, Kat Calvin grew up without the pressure to marry or have children. Single and childfree, Kat channels her time and energy into projects that make a difference - building a life of purpose, freedom, and joy.
https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/kat
Paddy's emotionally-detached boarding school upbringing left him distrustful of authority, including the unspoken expectation to have children. A growing awareness of ecological and social crises and the desire to break a cycle of generational family trauma led him to choose a vasectomy. Today, he and his wife enjoy a joyful life while standing up to oppressive systems.
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