Beyond Pronatalism | Finding fulfillment, with or without kids
To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives, and yet how many of us know that we even have a choice about how we define and create our families? Beyond Pronatalism host Nandita Bajaj interviews women and men from diverse backgrounds who are courageously and creatively navigating pronatalism - the powerful pressures to have children - whether from family, friends, or the culture at large. Through intimate conversations, they discuss how they are forging unconventional pathways to fulfillment, including redefining what family means to them - whether that means being childfree or childless, having biological children, adopting or fostering children or animals, or creating close-knit communities of friends and loved ones.
Episodes
Rebecca grew up homeschooled in a patriarchal American family, later serving as a Marine, attending university, and traveling the world. Bound by the shared trauma and values of their upbringing, Rebecca remained very close to her sister. Awakening to feminism and the planetary crisis together, they both decided to not have children. Today, Rebecca and her sister live together as each other's chosen life partners surrounded by mutu...
Raised in a conservative Indian family, Sneha knew from an early age that she didn't want to have a biological child. As a teen she discovered her queer identity, and in her twenties Sneha made the difficult but liberating decision to leave her parents’ house and hometown. Sneha has rejected the patriarchal expectations of procreation and marriage and embraced her own path - filled wit...
At age 27 Elena is diagnosed with an advanced cancerous brain tumor. As she confronts this life-changing and grief-filled reality, she also wrestles with the question of whether to bring a child into the world - balancing her love for children and the future she once imagined against her understanding of ecological overshoot, pronatalist pressures, and the profound uncertainties of life itself.
From a very early age Pip sensed she didn’t want children, and a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure at 15 confirmed that path. As she grew older, Pip found herself desperately searching for the perfect partner to complete her. A chance conversation blew open the door regarding societal expectations around relationships, sex, and conventional measures of success. Childfree, single, and celibate, Pip lives an independent, authent...
Growing up in rural England, Joe knew early in life that he didn’t want children and felt a deep connection to the natural world. While navigating pressures to conform to “normal” life, he lost that connection in his 20s. Now, alongside his partner, he’s built a purposeful childfree life rooted in love for nonhumans — founding and managing an ecocentric journal called The Ecological Ci...
Originally from Pakistan and now based in Canada, Sonia and Aamer met as adults. They decided together that they wanted to become parents, but were also deeply concerned about the environment. After spending a few years carefully weighing their emotional and financial readiness, environmental values, and desire for parenthood, they chose to have one child. Right after the birth of their son, they knew that their family of five, inc...
After nearly becoming a mother in a marriage that wasn’t right, Jennifer shares how divorce and a commitment to self-definition became her path to clarity. Starting over has been emotionally wrenching, but she's forging her own path of deep friendship, meaningful community service, and dedication to authentically being herself.
https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podca...
Raised in a Black feminist family of highly educated women committed to service, Kat Calvin grew up without the pressure to marry or have children. Single and childfree, Kat channels her time and energy into projects that make a difference - building a life of purpose, freedom, and joy.
https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/kat
Paddy’s emotionally-detached boarding school upbringing left him distrustful of authority, including the unspoken expectation to have children. A growing awareness of ecological and social crises and the desire to break a cycle of generational family trauma led him to choose a vasectomy. Today, he and his wife enjoy a joyful life while standing up to oppressive systems.
Elizabet, the daughter of Bulgarian immigrants in the Czech Republic, shares her experience of coming out as gay in her teens and subsequently raising a child alone. She now speaks openly about her parental regret, rooted in her worry for both her child's future and her deep love for the natural world and concern for its destruction.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
A childhood illness leaves Chetana unable to give birth. After enduring the pronatalist shame of biological childlessness for many years from both her Indian immigrant family and the broader Midwestern US culture, she reflects on the possibilities this opened up for her, and how many women are denied those possibilities by pronatalism.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
Born to a barmaid and adopted into a Southern Baptist home at the age of 6, Bob struggled with forming attachments. At 74, Bob reflects on the unconventional pathway his life took and what it took to find himself.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/bob
Interested in being on the show? Submit your story here: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyo...
Jane went into obstetrics and gynecology after her own terrifying pregnancy experience. Now a fulfilled single mother of two, she shares her observations on the pressures women experience to have children, on the ethics of having children amid the global ecological crisis, and on her own fight against the pronatalism of her profession.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
Raised by a Japanese father and a German mother in two contrasting cultural settings, Mariko always had the alienating sense of not quite fitting in. To spare their children the same unease, and to follow their personal life passions, she and her partner choose the childfree path.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
Olivia and her husband are both fairly certain they don’t want biological children, but they deeply value family and are afraid they’ll miss out. The challenges of the adoption process have thrown them into a state of uncertainty about how to have the family they crave, while staying true to their convictions.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/ol...
Nicole grew up in a traditional household in Brazil, but knew from an early age that motherhood was not for her. When she found herself with a partner who decided he did want kids, she embarked on a journey of discovery about the many pathways life could take outside of our reproductive capacity. This journey included not only deep self-reflection, but interviewing 14 incredible women and publishing a book that tells their stories....
Following in the footsteps of her grandparents, Melissa gave birth to four kids in rapid succession. She found raising children - who include Population Balance Board Chair Lukas Eddy - to be incredibly rewarding, yet wishes she had first taken the time to discover herself. As an empty nester, she is finally finding that time.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
Juan Camilo made a decision when he was just a teenager: that he would not bring children into a world where they would suffer. Despite the pressures of living in conservative Colombia, he has managed to stick to his convictions and now teaches graduate students about how they can reduce their environmental impact by having fewer kids.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
Raised in disparate cultures across the world, Milly and Mik had different ideas about what kind of family they wanted. But there was one thing they agreed on: adoption (of three dogs and a child!) was the way to go.
See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/milly-mik
About Beyond Pronatalism
To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we...
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