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April 15, 2025 67 mins

People think happiness comes from getting everything you want. But the science shows, it’s the absence, the novelty, and the change that bring joy back - Tali Sharot 

Ever wonder why lasting happiness can feel so elusive? This episode delves into the neuroscience of habituation, and why our brains, despite achieving desires, tend to filter out positive experiences. We'll explore this phenomenon and uncover practical strategies to consciously re-engage with what’s already good in your life.

My guest is Dr. Tali Sharot, a cognitive neuroscientist and professor at University College London, where she directs the Affective Brain Lab. Tali’s research blends neuroscience, psychology, and behavioral economics to study how emotion and motivation shape decision-making, memory, and belief. Tali’s work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The BBC, and her TED Talks have been viewed over 15 million times.

We talk about her research behind why we adapt so quickly to both the good and the bad—and how this helps us survive, but can also rob us of happiness, creativity, and even the desire to change. This is the crux of her book, Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Always There, co-authored with Cass Sunstein.

If you’ve ever wondered why joy fades faster than it should—or why we stop seeing the beauty around us—this conversation offers a fresh perspective on how to disrupt that pattern.

Some highlights from the pod:

  • Tali’s research background and the Affective Brain Lab
  • Research insights into human–AI bias feedback loops
  • Habituation: How our brains are built to ignore what doesn’t change
  • Why the mechanism that makes us resilient also makes us take good things for granted
  • The problem of perfection; and getting everything you want
  • Dis-habituation —and how to apply it to relationships and daily life
  • Happiness and the evolutionary role of novelty
  • How to use imagination and attention to rekindle joy and gratitude
  • Why people with depression often struggle to recover—and the role of rumination
  • How learning and effort unlock happiness
  • Refreshing the familiar: Savoring, small changes, and role-play

This is one of those episodes that can help you feel more alive—not by adding more to your life, but by changing how you see what’s already there.

Enjoy!

 

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