July 4, 2025 • 29 mins
A student gets kicked out of drama club for "misgendering" someone, a trans athlete horror story, a woke mom, and so much more! I react to your voicemails and stories in this Voicemail Friday episode of the Brad vs Everyone podcast.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Getting in trouble for mis gendering someone at drama club
and insane trans athlete horror story and what to do
when you have an unreasonably woke mother. All this and
so much Morris coming up on today's episode our Voicemail
(00:22):
Friday episodes of The Barad Versus Everyone podcast, my daily
show where we take on the craziest ideas from across
the Internet, our media, and our politics, all from an
independent perspective. But on Fridays, I take your voice notes
and voicemails and hear about your woke horror stories, your
personal life scenarios, and answer any questions you guys might
(00:42):
have for me. Let's kick it off because we've got
some real doozies to go through today, including up first,
a really bizarre story about somebody who got in trouble
or their friend got in trouble for the horror of
misgendering someone at high school drama club. Listen to this story,
I Brad.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
My name's Millie. I go to school in Portland or
high school in Portland, Organ and I have some really
good friends in the drama club. It's called Thespians. And
my really good friend was telling me the tea on
what was happening in the drama club, and apparently her
and everyone else was trying to get my other friend
(01:22):
kicked out of the club because he was making trans
kids uncomfortable. And her exact words well were, well, I
know he's gay, but just because he has emotional trauma
doesn't mean he can take it out on the trans kids.
And I was thinking, like, oh, what was he doing?
(01:43):
Is he like earning them or something? But now a
few weeks later I found out from my friend who
actually did get kicked out that he forgot to call
some kids by their preferred pronouns and he felt really
bad about and he apologized to them, but yeah, he
ended up getting kicked out, and I was like, oh,
(02:05):
this even legal. I didn't say this so loud, but
I consider myself a reasonable person. I was like, they
shouldn't gotten kick out, but I don't know. I love
to hear your.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Thoughts on that, guys. Sometimes when I hear your stories,
I'm just so thankful that I am not a young
person today, because I would be so cooked. I would
be so kicked out of every club, every group for
saying something offensive or problematic. And then the craziest part
of the story is that he apologized, and even that
(02:38):
wasn't enough, they still kicked him out. I hate that
so much. That's so unfair. I mean, of course, he
should treat people with respect in the club that you're in,
and that probably means avoiding misgendering them. I don't think
you necessarily have to use the pronouns they want, but
you should at least probably avoid using pronouns for them
if you can, if you don't want to upset them. Like,
(03:01):
there's clearly some respect and a balancing act that has
to happen here. But the idea that you would kick
somebody out of a club over that, even though they apologize.
These making people feel unsafe or uncomfortable is just so ridiculous.
And I mean, you're you're really not teaching those those
kids who identify as trans the coping skills and social
(03:21):
skills they will need in the real world, because in
the real world, people are not always going to use
their preferred pronouns, and they need to be able to
roll with the punches a little bit and keep it moving,
not you know, melt into a poddle and run and
cry to a guidance counselor or whatever anytime somebody doesn't
call them z easier. And so I think you're actually
kind of setting those kids up for failure by coddling
them like this in a way that I think is counterproductive,
(03:44):
in addition to being unfair to your friend who had
this experience. But I can't say I'm shocked that the
drama club has a bunch of woke drama going on.
I mean, no, you're telling me the theater kids are
dramatic and have all sorts of identities and pronous. Wow,
this is my shocked face. Oh gosh, I just I
(04:06):
couldn't handle being a young person today. I would be
too problematic. I get myself in all sorts of trouble.
But maybe it would be interesting, who knows. I'm sorry
your friend had that experience. Low key does sound illegal
if you're at a public school in particular, so maybe
that person should contact the fire or another free speech
group to look into their case. I'm not sure you
(04:28):
actually can kick someone out of a club for a
first time. I've protected speech at a public school, but
I don't know the exact law or legality there. I
would encourage you to explore the options because they really
shouldn't be allowed to do that. They shouldn't get away
with that. It's not right. There's a way of encouraging
students to be kind and respect each other and make
everyone comfortable without like excommunicating people who misspeak even if
(04:51):
they apologize. That's really unfair and counterproductive. Like do they
think that's going to lead to this? Of course it's
a gast which I find hilarious. But this student becoming
more tolerant towards trans people. If I was him, I'd
be like pissed off and annoyed and more likely to
become intolerant. That just they don't think through these things.
(05:11):
They really don't. What do you guys think about this drama?
Club drama? Let me know in the comment do it
that like button? Make sure subscribed to the channel if
you aren't yet. If you want to hear more of
these woe Car stories, and remember the link to send
in your woe Car story, your personal life situation, or
your questions for me. Be a voice note is in
the description. Okay, guys, let's take a listen to this.
(05:33):
Next voice note, which I mean, recounts one of the
most horrifying examples of a trans athlete story that I've
ever heard, which is saying something because these stories tend
to be kind of crazy, but this one really takes
the cake. Let's take a listen now.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Hey, Brad, I'm a big fan of the show, and
I wanted to call in to share my story with you.
As a female athlete and student in high school, I
was a leading player on my golf team, making varsity
as a freshman, and then in my sophomore year, a
biological male joined my team. He had bulging biceps bigger
than my father's and could easily outdrive any of the
female players even on our best days, always ranking the
(06:11):
highest out of all of us and qualifying for championships
that could have otherwise gone to one of us. He
also identified as gender fluid, using him, she, her, and
they then pronouns interchangeably. This meant that he was allowed
to play on both the girls and the boys teams,
but we were told that it was unacceptable to mention
any contrary views to his participation on the women's team,
(06:34):
and doing so would result in our removal. I'm now
at a Christian college, and while being a full time
student at that four year university, i also took a
bunch of community college courses during my breaks in order
to graduate early. But when I bring up my high
school golf team to those teachers, the reactions range from
dismissive to horrified, and most of them forbid me to
(06:56):
discuss it. I know the issue is starting to get
better on a public scale, but as a student, I
have trouble sharing my story without negative judgment from my teachers,
especially when my grades are on the line. Anyways, thank
you for taking the time to listen to my story,
and I can't wait to hear your response.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Well, thank you for sharing this story. And it's a doozy.
I've heard a lot of these, but wow, that one
really does take the cake. And I love how in
your community college classes or your you know, a higher
education community, I'm sure the mantra is like, share your truth, queen, Yes,
that's their lived experience. Oh but not her. Her lived
experience is problematic and offensive, so we can't have any
(07:36):
of that around here. It really is funny how quickly
that stuff seems to go out the window when it's
an inconvenient truth or lived experience. I gosh, it makes
me roll my eyes so hard. I'll give myself a headache.
The actual underlying story that you're telling here on face value, though,
is just diabolical. What do you mean? I mean, it
(07:57):
would be bad enough if this student on your call
team was actually someone who identified as a trans girl
and was transitioning and went by she her, it would
still be unfair in a sport that obviously there's huge
biological differences to allow that person to compete in the
women and girls' sports division, I would think that's unfair.
(08:18):
But competing in both he him, she, her and they
them pick a struggle. What how are you gonna do
all that at once? And if you're not even we're
a if you go by him and you're still competing
in the male division, in your gender fluid, then it's
(08:39):
not even true that you're like uncomfortable competing with the
males or being called he. So why can't you just
stick to that league then, miss gender fluid? What? Seriously?
That just doesn't even make sense. There's not even the
semblance of a justification that would exist in the case
of an actual trans athlete who is actually, you know,
(09:01):
trying to be trans and live as trans. In this case,
this person just wants to own the competition and destroy
the female I mean, it's really horrible. That is horrible.
That's really terrible and totally unfair, and shame on the
adults around you that allowed that to happen because they're
afraid of the backlash or they don't have a backbone
(09:22):
or whatever it may be. Shame on them, honestly. The
other thing I'll say here is it's really crazy to
me that they were like shaming you for speaking up
and having any different opinion on this. You're not crazy.
Most people agree with you on that, and they're just
scared of getting canceled or having activists yell at them,
or I don't know what, or they spend too much
(09:44):
time on TikTok and their brain has been rotted. Because
any person with an ounce of common sense, liberal, progressive, conservative,
Republican whatever knows that that's not fair and knows that
this situation in particular is totally incoherent and absurd. So
I'm really sorry you had to go through that. If
(10:05):
it's never been reported on, I mean, maybe you should
contact a media outlet to get that story out there
a little bit more, because they say, oh, this almost
never happens, and I agree, it's not like the most
common thing in the world. There aren't a ton of
trans athletes, but it does happen, and when it does,
it's just really unfair. In particular this case with the
gender queer thing. It's just it's beyond parody at this point.
(10:29):
But what do you guys think. Have you heard stories
like this before? Let me know in the comments. Now, guys,
we're gonna hear from somebody who has a woke mom
and doesn't know what to do about it. Let's take
a listen to this next voicemail.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Hey, my name is Haley. Love your show, Brad. So
I actually just had this conversation with my mom last night,
so it's fresh in my head now. My mom is
super loving and generous, but politically we're on different pages.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
You know.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
She openly calls herself woke, and she's been to some
anti Trump and Elon Musk protests. She does have a
little bit of TDS and I love her because she's
so much more than those things. But anyway, yeah, we
clash and last night we were talking and the Save
Act was brought up and she was like, they're trying
to take away women's right to vote, and I just
(11:17):
had to stop her, and I was like, wait, what
that's that's not what this bill that really does. I'm
not even sure I support the bill. There's stuff in
there I have questions about. And I explained this to her,
but saying it's an attack on women's voting rights is
just it's not entirely an honest interpretation of the bill.
And she got upset with me. She called me naive,
(11:38):
and it got tense, and I just realized we're living
in totally different ecosystems information wise. I later asked her
what she thought of NPR and PBS, and she just
talked them up and said how so essential and how
unbiased these are, and just me. It took me a
second and I realized I can't take her anger too
(11:58):
personally because she's a little bit naive too, And that's okay.
Maybe we can't talk about politics, but just wanted to
see what you thought of that. It's not much of
a horror story.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Thanks, No, it's not a horror story. It's a common
experience that a lot of people have. And I do
want to commend you for your ability to recognize that
your mom, like every person is a complicated human being
with many dimensions and many layers, and just because she
has rather silly politics doesn't make her a bad person.
(12:31):
Doesn't mean that she is irredeemable or adds no value
to your life, of course not. I'm sure she's a
wonderful person in many ways. And kudos to you for
being able to separate those two things. That said, some
of this does sound really absurd. I mean, imagine, in
the year of Our Lord twenty twenty five, un ironically
(12:51):
calling yourself woke, you barely even encounter that anymore. And
then the same act for folks that don't know, it's
this legislation going through Congress that would affect women who've
married who are changing their voting registration or update. I
did a whole episode about it. If you want to
(13:11):
go in the bad Catalog and there's all this panic
about how they're going to take the right to vote
away from women, they are not, that's not really it.
I did do a deep dive on that that people
can check out if they're interested in the details. That said,
if you would like to try to convince your mom
what I would recommend that the Save actis, and what
she thinks it is, is that you probably if she
(13:32):
literally is so woke to the point where she un
ironically calls herself woke in twenty twenty five, then sending
her my video is not going to help. She's going
to be like, look at this fascist, pick me gay
or whatever. So what I would actually try to do
is attempt to find a fact checker from a liberal source.
(13:55):
So maybe the Washington Posts fact checker, maybe Snopes, maybe PolitiFact,
and see if they've done a fact check of the
same act, because sometimes even though they are left leaning,
they will do fact checks that undercut progressive narratives. We
read one on the show I Think yesterday actually about
the whole like dropping immigrants in the ocean thing, And
(14:17):
if you could find her a source she trusts that
undercuts this, maybe you could help her see the light.
But the fact that she thinks NPR and PBS are
unbiased is so funny to me. We really are living
in different worlds, different ecosystems, And that's why you gotta
leave space and nuance for people having different perspectives, because
(14:38):
if all the information you consumed was NPR or whatever,
you would also probably reach some of these conclusions just
because your sense of what's going on would be so skewed,
so I leave that space. What I'll say is that, honestly, though,
at some point, you might just have to agree to
not talk about politics anymore with your mom and just
focus on the good that's there, and that's okay. You know,
(14:59):
the world complicated. You're probably not going to change each
other's minds. All of it is beyond your control. Neither
of you has any direct influence on national politics, so
allowing it to tear apart your relationship or cause strain
or arguments is just totally unproductive and kind of tragic.
So hopefully you guys can maintain a positive relationship and
(15:22):
avoid that pretty common pitfall that we see. But thank
you for your voice now, for listening to the show,
and for sharing your story. Next, we're going to hear
from somebody who's made of honor blocked her over politics. Yes,
let's stick a listen.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Hey, Brad, this is em I wanted to tell you
the true story of my made of honor. So whenever
I got engaged this past summer, I knew right away
who I wanted to ask. I asked my college roommate.
She agreed, and it was very exciting. Her and I
(15:58):
met at college in a random life sciences class. We
became quick friends and we stayed together throughout our entire
college career, living together until I graduated. And during that
life sciences class, the first couple of months of me
knowing her, ironically, we were polled on who we had
(16:20):
voted for. I had voted for Trump and she had
voted for Biden. Didn't make much of a difference to us,
since we had both actually were able to articulate our
positions with each other and have very fruitful discussions and
debates about different topics. I really appreciate the time that
I have with her still for that reason. She really
(16:41):
brought in my perspective on some things. However, when Trump
won this past election, she sent me a message advising
me that she no longer felt safe associating with me,
and she blocked me, ghosted me. My maid of honor
ghosted me, which was really ironic because she knew my
political position very early on in our friendship.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Just thought I.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Would tell the story. I hope you have a great
one everyone, and thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Wow. Well, that's really sad. I'm really sorry that happened.
Speaker 5 (17:11):
To you.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I mean, that's kind of tragic, and it's it's all
the more worse because, like, I don't know, I blame
her for this, I do. I mean, obviously she's being
intolerant and closed minded, but at the same time, she
must be a victim of some serious brainwashing or propaganda
to have gone through this kind of transformation. Because you
haven't changed, she's changed. Right when you met her, you
(17:34):
were a Trump voter, you could talk about it, you
could civilly disagree. Funny how when her side was in power,
right when Biden was president, she could handle, you know, disagreement.
But then when they didn't win, suddenly I feel unsafe
affiliating with the Trump supporter. What a ridiculous thing to say,
because you're the same person you were all those years
(17:56):
she associated with you, and she wasn't unsafe then, was she.
So No, it's a load of bs. It's a crock
of bs. It's really close minded and intolerant. And it's
sad though, because this is somebody who you shared so
many special memories with, who was so close to you,
and it's a real loss. I guess I can only
hope that sometimes people who go down that path do
(18:20):
actually come out of it at some point. I have
known people who've been so you know, brainwashed and kind
of gone full NPC and then they end up something
snaps or changes their perspective at some point. So maybe
some point down the line there could be some reconciliation there.
But this is really sad, and I'm really sorry this
happened with you. Unfortunately, I hear from people all the
(18:41):
time these kinds of stories, and it's really a sad
state of affairs for our country where politics are just
ripping people's up, ripping up people's relationships like this. We've
got to got to get away from it. I think
it's one of the most harmful trends in our society,
and it's such a common theme messages that you guys
send in to me. Okay, guys up, next, we're going
(19:03):
to listen to a voicemail asking for my gay dating advice.
Let's take a listen to that.
Speaker 6 (19:09):
Hey, Brad, my name is Chris. I know this is
exactly a political question, but I was hoping I could
get your advice on dating as a conservative or right
leaning gay man. I'm thirty two and I live in Utah.
I tried dating when I was younger, but let's just
say it didn't go very well. It left me with
some pretty deep scars, and I'm only just now trying
again after putting in a lot of work. I've never
(19:30):
really felt to welcome in traditional gay spaces due to
being right leaning. I've been told that I'm not gay
enough when I've tried to connect in those circles. On
top of that not being welcome in those circles and
being in a conservative state, I haven't really had friends
since I was about fourteen, so I'm not exactly sure
how to even begin putting myself out there again. I
(19:51):
feel like I've got a lot of work, a lot
of things working against me, my age, politics, and to
be blunt, my body image because a few years ago
anxiety meds caused my weight to spike to nearly three
hundred pounds. I've since dropped to the one eighties, but
I'm left with stretch marks across my tour so that
make me extremely self conscious, especially with how vain the
(20:13):
gay community seems to be. So I guess I'm just
at a little bit of a loss here. How do
you even begin to date or find a relationship when
you feel like an outsider in your own community. Any
advice would really mean a lot. Thanks.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, well, thank you for being so honest and open
and vulnerable and sharing your story. I have some advice,
I have some thoughts, but there's also maybe a limit
to how much I can help because the situation really
is just tough. The situation can be bleak. As a
right leading gay person, I had a horrible time dating
(20:47):
in Washington, d C. I've now been in a relationship
for many years and we kind of met by chance, really,
but this scene is bleak. It's probably a little better
now than it was during like peak Woke twenty nineteen,
twenty twenty. But the gay community is very political. They
are very against you know, people with different perspectives, at
(21:09):
least in large part in some pockets. I think one
piece of advice that I would have is one the
easiest way to get out there is probably to start
going on dating apps, just maybe. But I think one
way to avoid this would be to the potential political
issue would be to be upfront about it first of all,
(21:31):
so people, I mean, maybe even put it in your
bio so people just swipe left on you and save
you both the time if they're not open minded. But
another thing to do would be to specifically try to
connect with like minded people. There are a lot of
right leading gay people now they're not always you know,
concentrated in one place. But maybe you could meet somebody
(21:52):
online from another part of the country and then have
a long distance relationship and at some point you move
and you'd be with that person. I know a lot
of people who've done that, and it's really more important
to find somebody who connects with your values than it
is to find somebody super convenient to be in a
relationship with down the street, at least in my view.
(22:13):
You could also look into groups like log Cabin or
other groups for right leading gay people and maybe start
attending some events in your area to try to meet
some of them. That might be a good option. And
then as far as your body image issues, I totally understand.
First off, good for you for losing all that weight.
That's really admirable. I know it's really tough and you
(22:36):
did the right thing for yourself and your health. But
of course, when then you can be left with these
like kind of loose skin and other issue, stretch marks
and other things that kind of still are with you.
You could look into a plastic surgery option for that
to address it, if you have the resources to do so.
I know that is an option potentially, but you also
(22:58):
don't have to do that, and you can just hopefully
maybe work on your sense of self and your self
esteem to the point where you can accept that as
part of you. And yes, the gay community is very
shallow and vain at times, but not everybody is. And
also not everybody is vain or shallow about the same things,
(23:18):
So you may well be able to find someone who
doesn't really care about that and it's more important to
them that you have really nice teeth, or that you're
tall or something else where. Maybe you do have good
things going for you. So please don't despair. Don't like say, oh,
I'm undtable because of this. You are most certainly not,
and I hope that you will find somebody. It probably
(23:38):
won't be easy, but just put yourself out there, work
on improving your own self esteem and coming to accept
the things about yourself or change them if you can't
accept them. But I'm rooting for you and rest assured
that lots of people have gone through a similar struggle
and it's not impossible, but it's certainly not easy. Okay, up, next,
we're gonna listen to a voicemail from somebody who wants
(24:01):
my parenting advice sort of. Let's take a listen.
Speaker 7 (24:05):
Hi, Brad, I'm a thirty five year old woman and
me and my boyfriend have two young kids. I wanted
to talk about my concerns for my children if they
do not end up fitting their typical gender norms. I
was a tomboy growing up and also a beast, and
had a lot of shame regarding my body. I remember
often think it'd be easier to be a boy over
a girl, as being fat as a boy seemed less shameful.
At least that's how I perceived it back then. Then,
(24:26):
in my early teens, I became confused about my sexuality.
I'm bisexual, and I also had mental health issues in
my early teens. As I got to my mid teens,
I lost the weight and slowly over time became more
feminine and comfortable with my body. During my childhood, if
someone had suggested to me before I was about the
age of fifteen or sixteen that I was a boy,
(24:47):
I would have jumped on that, thinking it would solve
all my problems. All I could say is thank god
I grew up in the nineties and early two thousands.
And that's what scares me is if I was growing
up in these days, I could definitely I see myself
going through that trans pipeline, and maybe I would have
done something to my body that would not have allowed
me to have my kids. And that's what scares me.
(25:08):
Everyone's changing and growing so much during their teen years.
I don't want someone suggesting to my kids that they
don't fit the typical gender norms, that they might be
the opposite gender. My kids got a true diagnosis of
gender dysphoria, I would support them, but wouldn't want them
to medically transition until they were eighteen or legal adults.
Just my thoughts and concerns of being a new mother
(25:29):
in these these days. Thank you. I hope you're having
a good day. Bybye.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Well, thank you for sharing your story. It's really interesting
and it's actually when I've heard from a lot of people.
I've heard from a lot of people, especially people who
are lesbian or bisexual or maybe I'm not on the street,
you know, heterotypical heterosexual orientation, but also people who are
even that they were tomboys, and that they were, you know,
drawn to like boy things as a young girl, and
(25:55):
they worry that now if they'd grown up today, they
would have been transitioned. That's one of the problem bums
with the guardrail free approach that's sometimes taken, or at
least very minimal guardrails. And I can totally understand your
concern for your kids growing up. I'm a little reticent
to give much parenting advice, seeing as I don't have
kids or any real knowledge or expertise in that, but
(26:17):
I can talk a little bit about the gender aspect
to it, and I think what's important is to know that, frankly,
your kids probably will be exposed to this stuff at
some point. So rather than try to avoid them learning
what trans is so they don't get brainwashed or anything
like that, you probably want to introduce the existence of
this concept to them yourself at some point and explain
(26:42):
to them you know what it is and what it isn't,
and that it's okay for them to be a boy
and not necessarily like fishing and football and all these
like stereotypically masculine things, or it's okay to be a
girl and not care about makeup or dresses or any
of these things. You of, I think, want to go
there first rather than wait for them to, you know,
(27:05):
have some woke presentation at their public school or something,
and then come to you and you have to try
to undo the terrible messaging they've been given. It's definitely
better to get out ahead of it at some point,
So I would consider doing that, and then just being
supportive of their differences and their personalities and not trying
(27:26):
to force I think one thing that sometimes conservative or
Republican or even just you know, skeptical of woke parents
might do that that is counter productive, is being so worried, oh,
I don't want my kid to be brainwashing into being
non binary or whatever that they like, overpolice their gender
norms and stereotypes, like no, you can't play with those dolls, billy,
(27:47):
Like that is actually counterproductive one because it's just kind
of a closed minded way to look at the world,
the very old fashioned way to look at the world.
But two also it probably plays into the idea in
their head that like, oh, well, I'm I must not
be a boy if I like these things or what
have you. So there's also the problem with parenting and
(28:08):
with kids, especially teenagers, that when you try too hard
to push them against something or away from something, or
declare something totally off limits, that it creates this kind
of allure of forbidden fruit or resistance. I swear if
I have kids one day, they're all going to identify
as non binary just to trigger and troll me. And
(28:29):
I worry about that. Although I guess what I would
have to do and what I if this did happen
is I'm not sure you can really like force them
out of it. You probably have to indulge it, but
just gate keep it, and I'll make them know you
cannot make any permanent changes to your body. Sure you
can call yourself this because if you tried to like
(28:52):
stop them or put your foot down, it might backfire.
So I would make them dig in. I know some
teenagers can be very stubborn like that, so I would
keep all of that in mind. But frankly, it sounds
like you have your head on straight or your head
on bisexual, and you're gonna do a great job and
(29:12):
be a great mom. So thanks for the message, and
thank you all so much for tuning in to this voicemail.
Friday episode of Liberat Versus Everyone Podcast. That'll be it
for today. I hope you all have a wonderful Fourth
of July. Make sure you subscribe. If you aren't yet,
hit that leg button, send in your voice notes, YadA
YadA yah, and with that, guys, we'll talk again real soon.
Getting in trouble for mis gendering someone at drama club
and insane trans athlete horror story and what to do
when you have an unreasonably woke mother. All this and
so much Morris coming up on today's episode our Voicemail
(00:22):
Friday episodes of The Barad Versus Everyone podcast, my daily
show where we take on the craziest ideas from across
the Internet, our media, and our politics, all from an
independent perspective. But on Fridays, I take your voice notes
and voicemails and hear about your woke horror stories, your
personal life scenarios, and answer any questions you guys might
(00:42):
have for me. Let's kick it off because we've got
some real doozies to go through today, including up first,
a really bizarre story about somebody who got in trouble
or their friend got in trouble for the horror of
misgendering someone at high school drama club. Listen to this story,
I Brad.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
My name's Millie. I go to school in Portland or
high school in Portland, Organ and I have some really
good friends in the drama club. It's called Thespians. And
my really good friend was telling me the tea on
what was happening in the drama club, and apparently her
and everyone else was trying to get my other friend
(01:22):
kicked out of the club because he was making trans
kids uncomfortable. And her exact words well were, well, I
know he's gay, but just because he has emotional trauma
doesn't mean he can take it out on the trans kids.
And I was thinking, like, oh, what was he doing?
(01:43):
Is he like earning them or something? But now a
few weeks later I found out from my friend who
actually did get kicked out that he forgot to call
some kids by their preferred pronouns and he felt really
bad about and he apologized to them, but yeah, he
ended up getting kicked out, and I was like, oh,
(02:05):
this even legal. I didn't say this so loud, but
I consider myself a reasonable person. I was like, they
shouldn't gotten kick out, but I don't know. I love
to hear your.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Thoughts on that, guys. Sometimes when I hear your stories,
I'm just so thankful that I am not a young
person today, because I would be so cooked. I would
be so kicked out of every club, every group for
saying something offensive or problematic. And then the craziest part
of the story is that he apologized, and even that
(02:38):
wasn't enough, they still kicked him out. I hate that
so much. That's so unfair. I mean, of course, he
should treat people with respect in the club that you're in,
and that probably means avoiding misgendering them. I don't think
you necessarily have to use the pronouns they want, but
you should at least probably avoid using pronouns for them
if you can, if you don't want to upset them. Like,
(03:01):
there's clearly some respect and a balancing act that has
to happen here. But the idea that you would kick
somebody out of a club over that, even though they apologize.
These making people feel unsafe or uncomfortable is just so ridiculous.
And I mean, you're you're really not teaching those those
kids who identify as trans the coping skills and social
(03:21):
skills they will need in the real world, because in
the real world, people are not always going to use
their preferred pronouns, and they need to be able to
roll with the punches a little bit and keep it moving,
not you know, melt into a poddle and run and
cry to a guidance counselor or whatever anytime somebody doesn't
call them z easier. And so I think you're actually
kind of setting those kids up for failure by coddling
them like this in a way that I think is counterproductive,
(03:44):
in addition to being unfair to your friend who had
this experience. But I can't say I'm shocked that the
drama club has a bunch of woke drama going on.
I mean, no, you're telling me the theater kids are
dramatic and have all sorts of identities and pronous. Wow,
this is my shocked face. Oh gosh, I just I
(04:06):
couldn't handle being a young person today. I would be
too problematic. I get myself in all sorts of trouble.
But maybe it would be interesting, who knows. I'm sorry
your friend had that experience. Low key does sound illegal
if you're at a public school in particular, so maybe
that person should contact the fire or another free speech
group to look into their case. I'm not sure you
(04:28):
actually can kick someone out of a club for a
first time. I've protected speech at a public school, but
I don't know the exact law or legality there. I
would encourage you to explore the options because they really
shouldn't be allowed to do that. They shouldn't get away
with that. It's not right. There's a way of encouraging
students to be kind and respect each other and make
everyone comfortable without like excommunicating people who misspeak even if
(04:51):
they apologize. That's really unfair and counterproductive. Like do they
think that's going to lead to this? Of course it's
a gast which I find hilarious. But this student becoming
more tolerant towards trans people. If I was him, I'd
be like pissed off and annoyed and more likely to
become intolerant. That just they don't think through these things.
(05:11):
They really don't. What do you guys think about this drama?
Club drama? Let me know in the comment do it
that like button? Make sure subscribed to the channel if
you aren't yet. If you want to hear more of
these woe Car stories, and remember the link to send
in your woe Car story, your personal life situation, or
your questions for me. Be a voice note is in
the description. Okay, guys, let's take a listen to this.
(05:33):
Next voice note, which I mean, recounts one of the
most horrifying examples of a trans athlete story that I've
ever heard, which is saying something because these stories tend
to be kind of crazy, but this one really takes
the cake. Let's take a listen now.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Hey, Brad, I'm a big fan of the show, and
I wanted to call in to share my story with you.
As a female athlete and student in high school, I
was a leading player on my golf team, making varsity
as a freshman, and then in my sophomore year, a
biological male joined my team. He had bulging biceps bigger
than my father's and could easily outdrive any of the
female players even on our best days, always ranking the
(06:11):
highest out of all of us and qualifying for championships
that could have otherwise gone to one of us. He
also identified as gender fluid, using him, she, her, and
they then pronouns interchangeably. This meant that he was allowed
to play on both the girls and the boys teams,
but we were told that it was unacceptable to mention
any contrary views to his participation on the women's team,
(06:34):
and doing so would result in our removal. I'm now
at a Christian college, and while being a full time
student at that four year university, i also took a
bunch of community college courses during my breaks in order
to graduate early. But when I bring up my high
school golf team to those teachers, the reactions range from
dismissive to horrified, and most of them forbid me to
(06:56):
discuss it. I know the issue is starting to get
better on a public scale, but as a student, I
have trouble sharing my story without negative judgment from my teachers,
especially when my grades are on the line. Anyways, thank
you for taking the time to listen to my story,
and I can't wait to hear your response.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Well, thank you for sharing this story. And it's a doozy.
I've heard a lot of these, but wow, that one
really does take the cake. And I love how in
your community college classes or your you know, a higher
education community, I'm sure the mantra is like, share your truth, queen, Yes,
that's their lived experience. Oh but not her. Her lived
experience is problematic and offensive, so we can't have any
(07:36):
of that around here. It really is funny how quickly
that stuff seems to go out the window when it's
an inconvenient truth or lived experience. I gosh, it makes
me roll my eyes so hard. I'll give myself a headache.
The actual underlying story that you're telling here on face value, though,
is just diabolical. What do you mean? I mean, it
(07:57):
would be bad enough if this student on your call
team was actually someone who identified as a trans girl
and was transitioning and went by she her, it would
still be unfair in a sport that obviously there's huge
biological differences to allow that person to compete in the
women and girls' sports division, I would think that's unfair.
(08:18):
But competing in both he him, she, her and they
them pick a struggle. What how are you gonna do
all that at once? And if you're not even we're
a if you go by him and you're still competing
in the male division, in your gender fluid, then it's
(08:39):
not even true that you're like uncomfortable competing with the
males or being called he. So why can't you just
stick to that league then, miss gender fluid? What? Seriously?
That just doesn't even make sense. There's not even the
semblance of a justification that would exist in the case
of an actual trans athlete who is actually, you know,
(09:01):
trying to be trans and live as trans. In this case,
this person just wants to own the competition and destroy
the female I mean, it's really horrible. That is horrible.
That's really terrible and totally unfair, and shame on the
adults around you that allowed that to happen because they're
afraid of the backlash or they don't have a backbone
(09:22):
or whatever it may be. Shame on them, honestly. The
other thing I'll say here is it's really crazy to
me that they were like shaming you for speaking up
and having any different opinion on this. You're not crazy.
Most people agree with you on that, and they're just
scared of getting canceled or having activists yell at them,
or I don't know what, or they spend too much
(09:44):
time on TikTok and their brain has been rotted. Because
any person with an ounce of common sense, liberal, progressive, conservative,
Republican whatever knows that that's not fair and knows that
this situation in particular is totally incoherent and absurd. So
I'm really sorry you had to go through that. If
(10:05):
it's never been reported on, I mean, maybe you should
contact a media outlet to get that story out there
a little bit more, because they say, oh, this almost
never happens, and I agree, it's not like the most
common thing in the world. There aren't a ton of
trans athletes, but it does happen, and when it does,
it's just really unfair. In particular this case with the
gender queer thing. It's just it's beyond parody at this point.
(10:29):
But what do you guys think. Have you heard stories
like this before? Let me know in the comments. Now, guys,
we're gonna hear from somebody who has a woke mom
and doesn't know what to do about it. Let's take
a listen to this next voicemail.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Hey, my name is Haley. Love your show, Brad. So
I actually just had this conversation with my mom last night,
so it's fresh in my head now. My mom is
super loving and generous, but politically we're on different pages.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
You know.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
She openly calls herself woke, and she's been to some
anti Trump and Elon Musk protests. She does have a
little bit of TDS and I love her because she's
so much more than those things. But anyway, yeah, we
clash and last night we were talking and the Save
Act was brought up and she was like, they're trying
to take away women's right to vote, and I just
(11:17):
had to stop her, and I was like, wait, what
that's that's not what this bill that really does. I'm
not even sure I support the bill. There's stuff in
there I have questions about. And I explained this to her,
but saying it's an attack on women's voting rights is
just it's not entirely an honest interpretation of the bill.
And she got upset with me. She called me naive,
(11:38):
and it got tense, and I just realized we're living
in totally different ecosystems information wise. I later asked her
what she thought of NPR and PBS, and she just
talked them up and said how so essential and how
unbiased these are, and just me. It took me a
second and I realized I can't take her anger too
(11:58):
personally because she's a little bit naive too, And that's okay.
Maybe we can't talk about politics, but just wanted to
see what you thought of that. It's not much of
a horror story.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Thanks, No, it's not a horror story. It's a common
experience that a lot of people have. And I do
want to commend you for your ability to recognize that
your mom, like every person is a complicated human being
with many dimensions and many layers, and just because she
has rather silly politics doesn't make her a bad person.
(12:31):
Doesn't mean that she is irredeemable or adds no value
to your life, of course not. I'm sure she's a
wonderful person in many ways. And kudos to you for
being able to separate those two things. That said, some
of this does sound really absurd. I mean, imagine, in
the year of Our Lord twenty twenty five, un ironically
(12:51):
calling yourself woke, you barely even encounter that anymore. And
then the same act for folks that don't know, it's
this legislation going through Congress that would affect women who've
married who are changing their voting registration or update. I
did a whole episode about it. If you want to
(13:11):
go in the bad Catalog and there's all this panic
about how they're going to take the right to vote
away from women, they are not, that's not really it.
I did do a deep dive on that that people
can check out if they're interested in the details. That said,
if you would like to try to convince your mom
what I would recommend that the Save actis, and what
she thinks it is, is that you probably if she
(13:32):
literally is so woke to the point where she un
ironically calls herself woke in twenty twenty five, then sending
her my video is not going to help. She's going
to be like, look at this fascist, pick me gay
or whatever. So what I would actually try to do
is attempt to find a fact checker from a liberal source.
(13:55):
So maybe the Washington Posts fact checker, maybe Snopes, maybe PolitiFact,
and see if they've done a fact check of the
same act, because sometimes even though they are left leaning,
they will do fact checks that undercut progressive narratives. We
read one on the show I Think yesterday actually about
the whole like dropping immigrants in the ocean thing, And
(14:17):
if you could find her a source she trusts that
undercuts this, maybe you could help her see the light.
But the fact that she thinks NPR and PBS are
unbiased is so funny to me. We really are living
in different worlds, different ecosystems, And that's why you gotta
leave space and nuance for people having different perspectives, because
(14:38):
if all the information you consumed was NPR or whatever,
you would also probably reach some of these conclusions just
because your sense of what's going on would be so skewed,
so I leave that space. What I'll say is that, honestly, though,
at some point, you might just have to agree to
not talk about politics anymore with your mom and just
focus on the good that's there, and that's okay. You know,
(14:59):
the world complicated. You're probably not going to change each
other's minds. All of it is beyond your control. Neither
of you has any direct influence on national politics, so
allowing it to tear apart your relationship or cause strain
or arguments is just totally unproductive and kind of tragic.
So hopefully you guys can maintain a positive relationship and
(15:22):
avoid that pretty common pitfall that we see. But thank
you for your voice now, for listening to the show,
and for sharing your story. Next, we're going to hear
from somebody who's made of honor blocked her over politics. Yes,
let's stick a listen.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Hey, Brad, this is em I wanted to tell you
the true story of my made of honor. So whenever
I got engaged this past summer, I knew right away
who I wanted to ask. I asked my college roommate.
She agreed, and it was very exciting. Her and I
(15:58):
met at college in a random life sciences class. We
became quick friends and we stayed together throughout our entire
college career, living together until I graduated. And during that
life sciences class, the first couple of months of me
knowing her, ironically, we were polled on who we had
(16:20):
voted for. I had voted for Trump and she had
voted for Biden. Didn't make much of a difference to us,
since we had both actually were able to articulate our
positions with each other and have very fruitful discussions and
debates about different topics. I really appreciate the time that
I have with her still for that reason. She really
(16:41):
brought in my perspective on some things. However, when Trump
won this past election, she sent me a message advising
me that she no longer felt safe associating with me,
and she blocked me, ghosted me. My maid of honor
ghosted me, which was really ironic because she knew my
political position very early on in our friendship.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Just thought I.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Would tell the story. I hope you have a great
one everyone, and thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Wow. Well, that's really sad. I'm really sorry that happened.
Speaker 5 (17:11):
To you.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I mean, that's kind of tragic, and it's it's all
the more worse because, like, I don't know, I blame
her for this, I do. I mean, obviously she's being
intolerant and closed minded, but at the same time, she
must be a victim of some serious brainwashing or propaganda
to have gone through this kind of transformation. Because you
haven't changed, she's changed. Right when you met her, you
(17:34):
were a Trump voter, you could talk about it, you
could civilly disagree. Funny how when her side was in power,
right when Biden was president, she could handle, you know, disagreement.
But then when they didn't win, suddenly I feel unsafe
affiliating with the Trump supporter. What a ridiculous thing to say,
because you're the same person you were all those years
(17:56):
she associated with you, and she wasn't unsafe then, was she.
So No, it's a load of bs. It's a crock
of bs. It's really close minded and intolerant. And it's
sad though, because this is somebody who you shared so
many special memories with, who was so close to you,
and it's a real loss. I guess I can only
hope that sometimes people who go down that path do
(18:20):
actually come out of it at some point. I have
known people who've been so you know, brainwashed and kind
of gone full NPC and then they end up something
snaps or changes their perspective at some point. So maybe
some point down the line there could be some reconciliation there.
But this is really sad, and I'm really sorry this
happened with you. Unfortunately, I hear from people all the
(18:41):
time these kinds of stories, and it's really a sad
state of affairs for our country where politics are just
ripping people's up, ripping up people's relationships like this. We've
got to got to get away from it. I think
it's one of the most harmful trends in our society,
and it's such a common theme messages that you guys
send in to me. Okay, guys up, next, we're going
(19:03):
to listen to a voicemail asking for my gay dating advice.
Let's take a listen to that.
Speaker 6 (19:09):
Hey, Brad, my name is Chris. I know this is
exactly a political question, but I was hoping I could
get your advice on dating as a conservative or right
leaning gay man. I'm thirty two and I live in Utah.
I tried dating when I was younger, but let's just
say it didn't go very well. It left me with
some pretty deep scars, and I'm only just now trying
again after putting in a lot of work. I've never
(19:30):
really felt to welcome in traditional gay spaces due to
being right leaning. I've been told that I'm not gay
enough when I've tried to connect in those circles. On
top of that not being welcome in those circles and
being in a conservative state, I haven't really had friends
since I was about fourteen, so I'm not exactly sure
how to even begin putting myself out there again. I
(19:51):
feel like I've got a lot of work, a lot
of things working against me, my age, politics, and to
be blunt, my body image because a few years ago
anxiety meds caused my weight to spike to nearly three
hundred pounds. I've since dropped to the one eighties, but
I'm left with stretch marks across my tour so that
make me extremely self conscious, especially with how vain the
(20:13):
gay community seems to be. So I guess I'm just
at a little bit of a loss here. How do
you even begin to date or find a relationship when
you feel like an outsider in your own community. Any
advice would really mean a lot. Thanks.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, well, thank you for being so honest and open
and vulnerable and sharing your story. I have some advice,
I have some thoughts, but there's also maybe a limit
to how much I can help because the situation really
is just tough. The situation can be bleak. As a
right leading gay person, I had a horrible time dating
(20:47):
in Washington, d C. I've now been in a relationship
for many years and we kind of met by chance, really,
but this scene is bleak. It's probably a little better
now than it was during like peak Woke twenty nineteen,
twenty twenty. But the gay community is very political. They
are very against you know, people with different perspectives, at
(21:09):
least in large part in some pockets. I think one
piece of advice that I would have is one the
easiest way to get out there is probably to start
going on dating apps, just maybe. But I think one
way to avoid this would be to the potential political
issue would be to be upfront about it first of all,
(21:31):
so people, I mean, maybe even put it in your
bio so people just swipe left on you and save
you both the time if they're not open minded. But
another thing to do would be to specifically try to
connect with like minded people. There are a lot of
right leading gay people now they're not always you know,
concentrated in one place. But maybe you could meet somebody
(21:52):
online from another part of the country and then have
a long distance relationship and at some point you move
and you'd be with that person. I know a lot
of people who've done that, and it's really more important
to find somebody who connects with your values than it
is to find somebody super convenient to be in a
relationship with down the street, at least in my view.
(22:13):
You could also look into groups like log Cabin or
other groups for right leading gay people and maybe start
attending some events in your area to try to meet
some of them. That might be a good option. And
then as far as your body image issues, I totally understand.
First off, good for you for losing all that weight.
That's really admirable. I know it's really tough and you
(22:36):
did the right thing for yourself and your health. But
of course, when then you can be left with these
like kind of loose skin and other issue, stretch marks
and other things that kind of still are with you.
You could look into a plastic surgery option for that
to address it, if you have the resources to do so.
I know that is an option potentially, but you also
(22:58):
don't have to do that, and you can just hopefully
maybe work on your sense of self and your self
esteem to the point where you can accept that as
part of you. And yes, the gay community is very
shallow and vain at times, but not everybody is. And
also not everybody is vain or shallow about the same things,
(23:18):
So you may well be able to find someone who
doesn't really care about that and it's more important to
them that you have really nice teeth, or that you're
tall or something else where. Maybe you do have good
things going for you. So please don't despair. Don't like say, oh,
I'm undtable because of this. You are most certainly not,
and I hope that you will find somebody. It probably
(23:38):
won't be easy, but just put yourself out there, work
on improving your own self esteem and coming to accept
the things about yourself or change them if you can't
accept them. But I'm rooting for you and rest assured
that lots of people have gone through a similar struggle
and it's not impossible, but it's certainly not easy. Okay, up, next,
we're gonna listen to a voicemail from somebody who wants
(24:01):
my parenting advice sort of. Let's take a listen.
Speaker 7 (24:05):
Hi, Brad, I'm a thirty five year old woman and
me and my boyfriend have two young kids. I wanted
to talk about my concerns for my children if they
do not end up fitting their typical gender norms. I
was a tomboy growing up and also a beast, and
had a lot of shame regarding my body. I remember
often think it'd be easier to be a boy over
a girl, as being fat as a boy seemed less shameful.
At least that's how I perceived it back then. Then,
(24:26):
in my early teens, I became confused about my sexuality.
I'm bisexual, and I also had mental health issues in
my early teens. As I got to my mid teens,
I lost the weight and slowly over time became more
feminine and comfortable with my body. During my childhood, if
someone had suggested to me before I was about the
age of fifteen or sixteen that I was a boy,
(24:47):
I would have jumped on that, thinking it would solve
all my problems. All I could say is thank god
I grew up in the nineties and early two thousands.
And that's what scares me is if I was growing
up in these days, I could definitely I see myself
going through that trans pipeline, and maybe I would have
done something to my body that would not have allowed
me to have my kids. And that's what scares me.
(25:08):
Everyone's changing and growing so much during their teen years.
I don't want someone suggesting to my kids that they
don't fit the typical gender norms, that they might be
the opposite gender. My kids got a true diagnosis of
gender dysphoria, I would support them, but wouldn't want them
to medically transition until they were eighteen or legal adults.
Just my thoughts and concerns of being a new mother
(25:29):
in these these days. Thank you. I hope you're having
a good day. Bybye.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Well, thank you for sharing your story. It's really interesting
and it's actually when I've heard from a lot of people.
I've heard from a lot of people, especially people who
are lesbian or bisexual or maybe I'm not on the street,
you know, heterotypical heterosexual orientation, but also people who are
even that they were tomboys, and that they were, you know,
drawn to like boy things as a young girl, and
(25:55):
they worry that now if they'd grown up today, they
would have been transitioned. That's one of the problem bums
with the guardrail free approach that's sometimes taken, or at
least very minimal guardrails. And I can totally understand your
concern for your kids growing up. I'm a little reticent
to give much parenting advice, seeing as I don't have
kids or any real knowledge or expertise in that, but
(26:17):
I can talk a little bit about the gender aspect
to it, and I think what's important is to know that, frankly,
your kids probably will be exposed to this stuff at
some point. So rather than try to avoid them learning
what trans is so they don't get brainwashed or anything
like that, you probably want to introduce the existence of
this concept to them yourself at some point and explain
(26:42):
to them you know what it is and what it isn't,
and that it's okay for them to be a boy
and not necessarily like fishing and football and all these
like stereotypically masculine things, or it's okay to be a
girl and not care about makeup or dresses or any
of these things. You of, I think, want to go
there first rather than wait for them to, you know,
(27:05):
have some woke presentation at their public school or something,
and then come to you and you have to try
to undo the terrible messaging they've been given. It's definitely
better to get out ahead of it at some point,
So I would consider doing that, and then just being
supportive of their differences and their personalities and not trying
(27:26):
to force I think one thing that sometimes conservative or
Republican or even just you know, skeptical of woke parents
might do that that is counter productive, is being so worried, oh,
I don't want my kid to be brainwashing into being
non binary or whatever that they like, overpolice their gender
norms and stereotypes, like no, you can't play with those dolls, billy,
(27:47):
Like that is actually counterproductive one because it's just kind
of a closed minded way to look at the world,
the very old fashioned way to look at the world.
But two also it probably plays into the idea in
their head that like, oh, well, I'm I must not
be a boy if I like these things or what
have you. So there's also the problem with parenting and
(28:08):
with kids, especially teenagers, that when you try too hard
to push them against something or away from something, or
declare something totally off limits, that it creates this kind
of allure of forbidden fruit or resistance. I swear if
I have kids one day, they're all going to identify
as non binary just to trigger and troll me. And
(28:29):
I worry about that. Although I guess what I would
have to do and what I if this did happen
is I'm not sure you can really like force them
out of it. You probably have to indulge it, but
just gate keep it, and I'll make them know you
cannot make any permanent changes to your body. Sure you
can call yourself this because if you tried to like
(28:52):
stop them or put your foot down, it might backfire.
So I would make them dig in. I know some
teenagers can be very stubborn like that, so I would
keep all of that in mind. But frankly, it sounds
like you have your head on straight or your head
on bisexual, and you're gonna do a great job and
(29:12):
be a great mom. So thanks for the message, and
thank you all so much for tuning in to this voicemail.
Friday episode of Liberat Versus Everyone Podcast. That'll be it
for today. I hope you all have a wonderful Fourth
of July. Make sure you subscribe. If you aren't yet,
hit that leg button, send in your voice notes, YadA
YadA yah, and with that, guys, we'll talk again real soon.
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