October 17, 2025 • 26 mins
Losing a loved one to radical ideology, confessing to being a DEI hire, and dating in DC as a conservative. I give advice on all of this and viewers' other experiences in this Voicemail Friday episode of the Brad vs Everyone podcast.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once a family member goes non binary, is there really
any hope We're going to break this down, plus all
your other woke car stories, personal life scenarios, where you
want my advice and questions you guys have for me
(00:20):
in this voicemail Friday episode of Deeper Rad Versus Everyone Podcast.
Thank you all so much for sending in your voicemails.
I still have so many more to go through. The
link to send one in if you're interested in being
in a future episode is as always in the description
and without further ado, I want to get right into
our first voicemail, which is from somebody who has a
(00:40):
family member who it's really kind of a tough story,
a sad story, but seems to have been caught up
in an ideology and a movement that has taken them
to a dark place. Let's listen.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hi, Brad, my name is Alex. I'm a big fan
of your show and I just wanted to ask how
you deal with losing someone the insane ideologies you've been discussing.
My younger brother started by identifying as non binary, but
then started piling up all of the labels, so now
he's a transgender woman, polyamorous, a lesbian and he's diagnosed
himself with ADHD, bipolar disorder, anxiety depression, and agoraphobia, so
(01:18):
he hasn't worked in years and he spends his days
watching animele playing video games. We're both in our late
thirty so this probably isn't a phase. And then he
cut me off two years ago out of nowhere. Later
I found out it's because I shared a social media
post in which I said nobody should transition unless they
have diagnosed severe gender dysphoria. So it's been hard enough
losing him because we were completely in several as children.
(01:41):
But then an anonymous person recently shared his discord server
with me, and he's been writing just the most horrendous
fantasies about women. I won't go into much detail, but
it's just about as shocking as you can imagine. And
he also regularly shows off his male body on screen,
if you catch my drift. So it feels a bit
like the brother I knew has gone forever. He's had
a complete personality transplant. And I was wondering if you've
(02:05):
ever lost any friends over political disagreements, and if so,
how do you manage this weird sense of grief you
get when you lose someone but they're still alive.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Thank you, well, thank you so much for the voicemail
and for sharing, because it can't be easy. I mean,
we're talking about somebody who I'm moved by, honestly your message,
because it sounds like you really loved your brother and
you guys were so inseparable when you were younger, and
I don't really have any comparable personal experience at all, really,
(02:35):
so I'll just try to give you my initial thoughts
on this and where I come from on it, which
is never give up hope, never say never. I mean,
I often think back, there's a man named Darryl Davis
who went around. He's a black man, and he met
with members of the KKK, a literal clansman, modern day
members of the KKK, and he convinced them, through befriending them,
(02:58):
through getting to know them, to give up their ways,
and he collects their hoods when they quit the Klan.
And I'll often remind myself that when I think that
maybe somebody is like too far gone, or maybe you know,
there's no hope if people can be talked out of
literally being in the KKK, grown adults then never say
(03:19):
never on being able to reach somebody or change their mind. Now,
you do have to maintain boundaries with yourself if somebody
is toxic, if they're harmful, if they're But it sounds
like this person removed themselves from your life a while ago,
so there's not really much you can do. By the way,
I love how like you should only transition if you
have gendernice for U's like, how is that a hot take?
(03:42):
How is that offensive or controversial? Like something very strange
is going on? If that's like a weird take. Of course,
it's the only reason you should transition, or that it
should be taken seriously at all, is if you have
very persistent gendernice for it and there's no other way
to accommodate it. Beyond that, why would anybody do that
to themselves or why would we make these drastic accommodations
(04:03):
in situations where it's not even medically necessary. That makes
no sense, And you're not the crazy one there. All
I would say is that your brother is an adult.
There's nothing you can really do to control what path
he goes down in life or what irresponsible things that
he does. I don't need to imagine his body being
displayed on the internet. The discord fantasies sound really disturbing,
(04:28):
but I would just I honestly, I would encourage you
to maybe every so often extend in olive branch and
reach out to your sibling and let them know that, like, hey,
I'd still like to talk to you, I'd still like
to connect, I still care about you, and you'd be surprised.
That's one thing they tell people who are in cult
(04:49):
who have loved ones who are in cults, is to
no matter how far gone they seem, try to keep
like a little thread of contact. Because if that person
starts to wake up and there's no one, there's nothing,
there's not even a door a little bit cracked open
a little bit, then it's very hard for them to
walk away and to leave that. But if you can
(05:13):
maintain some tiny thread of contact or connection and just
be there, and if your brother starts to wake up
from some of this and take some responsibility and grow
out of some of these delusions or ask questions, then
you can be there to welcome him back into the fold.
And then at some point you do have to let
things go, even though you were wronged or you were
(05:35):
harmed if you want to be the bigger person, but
at the end of the day, there's nothing you can
do right. Your sibling's an adult. They're responsible for their
own life and their own choices, and in the meantime
you do have to mourn that loss. But I guess
to know that you did all you can and continue
to do all that you can if you extend an
occasional olive branch or try to connect in some small
(05:57):
way or whatever, and then at the end of the day,
I think it's a good rule of femine life to
not obsess over or and it's much easier said than done,
trust me, I know, but to not beat ourselves up
over or obsess over things that are ultimately out of
our control, and instead to focus our emotional and mental
and physical energy on the things that we actually can
(06:19):
affect directly, not things that are kind of ultimately not
up to us. It's up to your brother and I
wish you and your family all the best, and thank
you so much for sending in your voicemail. Imagine a
lot of people have had similar experiences. You guys, let
me know what you think about the situation and the
comments do make sure subscribe like YadA YadA yah. Now
(06:41):
up next, somebody has an interesting story about how they
were actually a transgender DEI higher, a diversity higher that is,
let's listen.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Hi Braham, my name's Crystal, what I like to say,
one of the normal Trands. And about five years ago,
I was into the DEI nonsense as well, and I
had an experience that really woke me up from the
woke aspect of that, so to speak. I thought I
(07:13):
was landing a dream job with a really great company,
and I noticed that they bought into the DEI stuff.
My phone interview was not going too well, and before
it ended, I casually just brought up that I was TRANDS,
and all of a sudden, the recruiter slash hiring manager
started actually liking me, brought me onto another interview, and
(07:36):
before you know, I got hired on and yeah, I
was a DEI hire if I had to be honest.
And that did not turn out too well because less
than two months I was I had of pressure to quit.
And ever since then, it's really opened my eyes that
(07:56):
I hires are bad for everyone. They're bad for me,
bad for the business, and when people are DEI hires
and it works well for them. Unfortunately, that's where you
see a lot of support, but some people just have
to awaken themselves to the woke nonsense.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Well, thank you so much for this voicemail. It's a
really interesting story and perspective, and I appreciate you being
a listener and telling us about this because I've said
this for a long time. I have many issues with
DEI as opposed to equality, which is what I believe
in equality of opportunity, meritocracy, non discrimination. Those are the
(08:33):
values I stand for, but DEI has turned into something different.
In fact, that's why the E in DEI stands for equity,
not equality. It's because equity actively involves discrimination, often or
differential treatment intended to write historical wrongs or bring about
social justice or whatever kind of thing you have in mind.
(08:55):
But when you put people in positions for which they
would not qualify just in a pure a meritocratic process,
in the name of diversity, not only the traditional argument is, oh,
this is unfair to the people who are being discriminated against,
And I would say that is the primary concern right. So, like,
for example, with affirmative action, it was Asian American students
(09:18):
in particular, viciously discriminated against because of their race and
kept down artificially from how many of them deserve to
get into elite colleges because we don't want too many Asians.
I think that's like really messed up, and that's one
of the reasons I was very happy to see the
Supreme Court rule against affirmative action, and I continue to
advocate against that kind of thing. But then there's also
(09:41):
the argument that it's not in fact the best thing
for minority students to be uplifted like black students for example,
and put into colleges they wouldn't get into in a
pure a meritocratic process. You're setting those people up for
failure in some cases and contributing to the achievement gap
between black and white students. Whereas if they actually went
(10:02):
to the place that they should be just based on
a pure merit, then they may thrive, they may succeed,
But that merit exists for a reason, and things like
GPA and SAT are reasonable predictors of college performance. So
when you do that, you actually set these people up
for failure. The other thing is that sometimes even when
you have qualified people who would have been a suitable
(10:28):
choice for a position, but they are a member of
a group and you do have an a fir inve
action system in place, then it almost gives them the
slander of a diversity higher I'll give you a good
example of this. Biden openly said, and I thought this
was a really gross thing to do that for my
Supreme Court justice, I'm only going to pick a black woman.
So he just wiped out most of the options because
(10:52):
of their race or gender because a lot of them
are white men or white women or just not black.
So I mean, you really narrow the pool down there.
Then he picked Katanji Brown Jackson. Now what's interesting about
that is Katanji Brown Jackson, who was confirmed and is
now a Supreme Court justice. She actually had the resume,
like she had a top tier resume and qualifications. Whether
(11:14):
you think she's a good justice now or not, it's
a separate question. But he could have just picked her
and just out of everyone, not because of her race,
and just said I've reviewed all the candidates and I'm
going with Katanji Brown Jackson. But instead, because he engaged
in that DEI process and openly said it, like he
was very explicit about it, she's now viewed as a
(11:35):
diversity higher and understandably so. And it's almost unfair to
her because she was qualified. She wasn't unqualified on paper
whatever you think of her as a justice, and that's
part of what I think you're describing here. How this
is even unfair to the beneficiaries of DEI in many cases.
So I say, scrap the whole thing, start over, and
(11:57):
stop doing this because I just think it's really harmful
and counterproductive. But the truth is they're not going to
They're not going to stop doing it. I don't think so.
A lot of them are very deeply ideologically wedded to
this stuff. That's my take, That's my suspicion, at least.
I'm next, we have somebody who wants dating advice in DC,
(12:18):
which I have personal experience in that we will talk about.
Let's listen, Oh Brad.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
What's up man? I'm based in DC. I'm a by
guy who's not really political but definitely has more like
conservative leanings or whatever. But yeah, I'm based in DC.
Recently got back from overseas, and you know, I'm just
trying to reintegrate in the community, meet some cool people.
But recently, man, I've seen this girl, and she broke
up with me because I didn't like dive old my
(12:45):
politics or I wasn't like giving blue hair energy marching
in the streets, you know what I'm saying. And I
was kind of dejecting. But a part of me thinks
it's like to be expected in DC, and it's just
tough to make friends here in DC se when everyone's
like super politically charged. So I don't know if you
had any advice on just kind of charting your own
course and doing your own thing, especially in a place
(13:08):
like DC where it's just like tons of you know,
we need to march energy if you can catch my drift.
But yeah, I mean, I don't know. Any advice is welcome.
And love what your guys are doing for the show,
and yeah, keep you in awesome, appreciate.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
You well, thank you. I appreciate you and you tuning
in and sharing your message. This one is in fact
relatable to me. Some of the questions you guys ask
I have to kind of step outside my personal experience,
but not this one, because I did live in DC
and I dated as a gay man, which I imagine
is different but also a little more difficult than as
a byman because women, you probably have more options with
(13:44):
women who are conservative or whatever than you do with
gay men. And it's like, yeah, it's a very political community.
So a lot of people you will meet will have
very strong political feelings and very strong aversions and distaste
for people who don't always share those feelings. So my
first advice would be to move and get somewhere normal
(14:05):
where people aren't obsessed with politics, and then you'll encounter
more open minded folks. Now I understand that for a
lot of people that's not possible, Like you're living in
DC for a job or career or something and it's
not going to change. Maybe explore a little bit deeper
into Virginia is an option, Right, if you meet somebody
out in the sticks a little bit more, they might
be a little more normal. But the other thing I
(14:26):
would say is to just lead with it, just be
more upfront with it. Like, I don't know exactly where
you are on the political spectrum, but if you're a
moderate Republican, put that in your bio honestly in DC,
because then they'll self sort. Then the trash will take
itself out if you will, right, like the people who
are close minded, who are going to hate you because
of it, or are kind of cut things off when
they find out. They just won't swipe on you in
(14:48):
the first place. Now, the downside of that is some
people might swipe who swipe left on you who would
have perhaps given you a chance if they've gotten to
know you first. But at least for now, that's a
good way to say, skip all the drama and narrow
it down and even just with friends. Yeah, it's I
don't want to say, like just be friends with Republicans,
(15:10):
but that was my experience in DC, and things have
probably changed significantly, was that, like, the Republican side would
be happily be friends with you in terms of the
operatives and the journalists and everything, even if you were
more liberal or you were more moderate than them, or
you weren't as far right as them, or what have you,
but not vice versa. So I ended up making mostly
conservative friends during my time in DC, all most of
(15:32):
whom are significantly more to my right politically. And I
would encourage you to maybe hang out in some of
those crowds or meet some of those people because they
might be more receptive. But yeah, I would say lead
with it, like just own who you are, be upfront with.
It is my number one piece of advice, and then
cast a wider net perhaps, But it's not going to
(15:54):
be easy. I can tell you that it is not
the city of love for people who don't there a
certain specific kind of politics, that is for sure. All Right, now,
we are going to listen to a voicemail from somebody
who's involved in a spicy custody battle. First though, do
make sure you subscribe like comment YadA YadA.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
The link to sending your own voicemail is in the description.
Now let's listen to this interesting story.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Hey Brad, this isn't purely political, but politics have poisoned it.
I have share international joint custody of my twin daughter
between the United States and Canada. I live in Florida,
my ex wife in Ontario. She has primary custody, but
the court order grants me generous access, typically two trips
a year for holidays in the summer, which I feel
is way too short, especially since I fit the bill
for everything for traveling all that, and that time is
(16:43):
just not enough. Regardless, that was until this summer. Suddenly
my ex refuse to let her come down with me.
Ranting about how Trump is in office, Canadians are getting
arrested and deported in mass airlines are falling out of
the sky because of Trump, and how I back a
guy tied to Epstein's crimes. She suggests we revisit in
a year, sorry, three and a half years post Trump.
(17:04):
She's a reclusive entrovert who barely leaves home, per our
own daughter's admissions. Lately, she's embraced pride flags everywhere, fourth
wave feminism, hardcore, and then I guess last week she
let her daughter stay home from school for the entire week,
claiming our daughter was overstimulated, adding an insult. In a
few weeks, I'm moving to Tokyo for a dream job,
which I had informed her on months ago. Now she's
(17:26):
demanding an increase in child support. I'm open to that, However,
I retorted that in order for that to happen, I
want the current existing custody agreement to be enforced that
includes letting our daughter come spame time with me. Her
response to that is child support and custody do not mix,
and she's lawyering up to just wanting more cash while
(17:47):
stonewalling me any thoughts on this.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, I mean, I definitely have some thoughts. My first
thought is, gosh, divorce sounds so messy and so terrible.
I'm glad I haven't had been through that and hopefully
never will, fingers crossed. But the Canadian aspect to this
is really interesting. Obviously. I think Trump has been pretty
(18:11):
antagonistic towards Canada, like saying, oh, we're going to annex you,
make you the fifty first day or what have you.
And I roll my eyes at that, and I find
that to be ridiculous. But there is nothing dangerous about
you for your daughter to come visit you in Florida.
It's ridiculous. And your ex wife sounds out of touch
with reality. She has no idea what's happening and what's
not happening. More importantly, but I guess, and I really
(18:33):
can't say too much about this because I just don't
know how these systems all work. But if you have
a custody agreement, can't you take her to court in
Canada and force her to abide by it? I would
think that would be the immediate opportunity to write this,
because she's just not upholding her end of this legally
binding agreement. And then the moving to Japan is another
(18:56):
kind of wrench thrown in here. But my first thought is,
wait a second. If she's so concerned about Trump in
the US, and that's why she wants to break it off,
but then you're leaving and you're going somewhere else and
you just want that, then you want your daughter to
con visit you, and she still has an issue, Well,
then it's not really about Trump business. Sounds like she
just doesn't want to let you see your daughter, which
again is not her choice because you have a custody agreement.
(19:20):
So she says she's wiring up. Well, I really don't
know what to tell you other than you should too
and you should take her back to court. And regardless,
I would say, just try to maintain even if you're
not seeing her in person in the interim or what
have you, very regular FaceTime, text, call, everything contact with
(19:40):
your daughter, especially if she's in this kind of the
Lulu echo chamber with all this woke stuff around her
and her mom pushing this. So you can be her
kind of connection to reality. And as she grows older
as well, she'll have more independence and freedom and ability
to choose what kind of relationship she has with you
for herself rather than being subjective to kind of her
(20:01):
mom's influences and decision making. But all you can do
is your absolute best and invest as much time and
energy into your daughter as you can, and then pursue
whatever legal remedies you have available to you. But I
hope it works out, and I hope your daughter is
able to come visit you in Tokyo or Florida or
wherever you may be, and that her mom's paranoia doesn't
(20:22):
get in the way successfully. That's my thoughts at least
you guys let me know what you think in the comments,
especially if you've had not so nice interactions with the
family court system. I have just very little experience in
this area other than my own childhood as with the
divorced parents, which gosh, that's another story for another day.
(20:42):
But anyway, let me know what y'all think. Make sure
subscribe to send in your voicemails linked in the description.
One final voicemail for today that we're going to take
a listen to. This is about a friend's sibling. We'll
take a listen and then I'll give you my thoughts.
Speaker 6 (20:57):
Hey, Brad, my name is Addison. I'm a huge fan
of your show, and I'm having a disagreement with my
best friend right now and I really want your advice.
So me and my best friend are both nineteen, and
she has a younger sibling who identifies as a boy
(21:18):
but is biologically female. She's almost fourteen, and I have
respected this sibling's name and pronouns. And I caught up
with my best friend today for the first time in
a few months, and I she told me that her
(21:42):
sibling has just started testosterone. I'm hugely against child transitioning,
and I asked her a couple questions about it, and
she seems totally okay with this, and I to tell her, hey,
you know your sibling is going to be sterile, and
(22:05):
she says she knows that, and I said, okay, So
I don't really know what to do. I don't want
to lose this friendship, but I'm also really really worried
for her sibling. Anyway, thank you, and I could really
use your advice.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Well. First, honestly, shout out to you, because not only
do you have very good tastes in podcasts, you also
seem like a really caring person and like you really
care about your friend and her sibling and wants want
what's best for them. But you didn't mention where you live,
so I have to assume that you live. You live
in a state or locality where this is a legal
(22:40):
thing that they are allowed to do. The parents are
on board and have decided to do this to medically
transition their child at just fourteen. I find that to
be unethical. I find that to be unconscionable. But if
it's legal, and if the parents decided to do it,
there's nothing you can do. I mean, you're just a
friend of their siblings, friend their siblings, so you're just
(23:05):
a friend here and your friend's sibling is the one transitioning,
there's nothing you can do. I don't want to say
that you shouldn't care about this person at all, but
it's it's not your problem, and the fact that you
don't support it isn't really very relevant. I mean, that's
a parent parenting decision. I think they're making the wrong decision.
(23:25):
But I would say to you that there's nothing you
can do about this other than, you know, support candidates
who want to restrict this or support change politically. But
in terms of this individual situation, it's not within your control,
and all you would do by trying to like say
something or stand up to them is just offend them
and isolate yourself and break off your friendship. It's not
(23:47):
like they're going to listen to you and be like,
you know what, you're so right, We're not going to
do this. I give that about a zero zero, zero, zero,
zero point one percent chance of happening. Right, it's not.
It's very unlikely that they would somehow change the mind.
So all you would be doing is causing tension and
conflict and potentially damaging a friendship. So what's the point.
(24:08):
I appreciate you wanting to stick to your values or
say what you believe in, but I'm just not sure
it's appropriate venue for that. And I think you have
to let people make their own mistakes and you should
just not talk about it and prioritize your friendship and
be respectful. Obviously, if you start, like using the wrong
pronouns for your friend's sibling or what have you, it
(24:28):
could become an issue. So I would say, just keep
your thoughts to yourself, let them go about it. I mean,
that's all you really can do, and then be a
good friend and make different choices. In your own life
and with your own kids if it ever happens with them,
and advocate for the things you believe in politically and socially.
But yeah, you can't stop other people from making mistakes,
(24:51):
and you can't at the end of the day, try
to impose your own beliefs and values onto everyone else
in the micro form like this, because it's is not
going to work and it's just gonna lead to tention.
So it sounds like your heart is in the right place.
You're trying to help, and I appreciate that. I forget
what it's called. I think it's like the serenity prayer
or something, but it's this idea that you have to
(25:13):
know the difference between the things you can change and
the things you can't, and focus your energy on the
ones that you actually can. This would not be one
of those, right, This is something beyond your control, beyond
your power. So thank you just have to let it be.
That's my take at least, But y'all let me know
what you think in the comments. Remember links in the
description to sending your voicemails for our next Voicemail Friday episode.
(25:36):
And with that, that'll be it for today's episode of
the Brad Versus Everyone podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in.
Do like subscribe, rate and review on audio podcast platforms,
or even recommend the podcast to a friend. With that, guys,
we will talk again real soon
Once a family member goes non binary, is there really
any hope We're going to break this down, plus all
your other woke car stories, personal life scenarios, where you
want my advice and questions you guys have for me
(00:20):
in this voicemail Friday episode of Deeper Rad Versus Everyone Podcast.
Thank you all so much for sending in your voicemails.
I still have so many more to go through. The
link to send one in if you're interested in being
in a future episode is as always in the description
and without further ado, I want to get right into
our first voicemail, which is from somebody who has a
(00:40):
family member who it's really kind of a tough story,
a sad story, but seems to have been caught up
in an ideology and a movement that has taken them
to a dark place. Let's listen.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hi, Brad, my name is Alex. I'm a big fan
of your show and I just wanted to ask how
you deal with losing someone the insane ideologies you've been discussing.
My younger brother started by identifying as non binary, but
then started piling up all of the labels, so now
he's a transgender woman, polyamorous, a lesbian and he's diagnosed
himself with ADHD, bipolar disorder, anxiety depression, and agoraphobia, so
(01:18):
he hasn't worked in years and he spends his days
watching animele playing video games. We're both in our late
thirty so this probably isn't a phase. And then he
cut me off two years ago out of nowhere. Later
I found out it's because I shared a social media
post in which I said nobody should transition unless they
have diagnosed severe gender dysphoria. So it's been hard enough
losing him because we were completely in several as children.
(01:41):
But then an anonymous person recently shared his discord server
with me, and he's been writing just the most horrendous
fantasies about women. I won't go into much detail, but
it's just about as shocking as you can imagine. And
he also regularly shows off his male body on screen,
if you catch my drift. So it feels a bit
like the brother I knew has gone forever. He's had
a complete personality transplant. And I was wondering if you've
(02:05):
ever lost any friends over political disagreements, and if so,
how do you manage this weird sense of grief you
get when you lose someone but they're still alive.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Thank you, well, thank you so much for the voicemail
and for sharing, because it can't be easy. I mean,
we're talking about somebody who I'm moved by, honestly your message,
because it sounds like you really loved your brother and
you guys were so inseparable when you were younger, and
I don't really have any comparable personal experience at all, really,
(02:35):
so I'll just try to give you my initial thoughts
on this and where I come from on it, which
is never give up hope, never say never. I mean,
I often think back, there's a man named Darryl Davis
who went around. He's a black man, and he met
with members of the KKK, a literal clansman, modern day
members of the KKK, and he convinced them, through befriending them,
(02:58):
through getting to know them, to give up their ways,
and he collects their hoods when they quit the Klan.
And I'll often remind myself that when I think that
maybe somebody is like too far gone, or maybe you know,
there's no hope if people can be talked out of
literally being in the KKK, grown adults then never say
(03:19):
never on being able to reach somebody or change their mind. Now,
you do have to maintain boundaries with yourself if somebody
is toxic, if they're harmful, if they're But it sounds
like this person removed themselves from your life a while ago,
so there's not really much you can do. By the way,
I love how like you should only transition if you
have gendernice for U's like, how is that a hot take?
(03:42):
How is that offensive or controversial? Like something very strange
is going on? If that's like a weird take. Of course,
it's the only reason you should transition, or that it
should be taken seriously at all, is if you have
very persistent gendernice for it and there's no other way
to accommodate it. Beyond that, why would anybody do that
to themselves or why would we make these drastic accommodations
(04:03):
in situations where it's not even medically necessary. That makes
no sense, And you're not the crazy one there. All
I would say is that your brother is an adult.
There's nothing you can really do to control what path
he goes down in life or what irresponsible things that
he does. I don't need to imagine his body being
displayed on the internet. The discord fantasies sound really disturbing,
(04:28):
but I would just I honestly, I would encourage you
to maybe every so often extend in olive branch and
reach out to your sibling and let them know that, like, hey,
I'd still like to talk to you, I'd still like
to connect, I still care about you, and you'd be surprised.
That's one thing they tell people who are in cult
(04:49):
who have loved ones who are in cults, is to
no matter how far gone they seem, try to keep
like a little thread of contact. Because if that person
starts to wake up and there's no one, there's nothing,
there's not even a door a little bit cracked open
a little bit, then it's very hard for them to
walk away and to leave that. But if you can
(05:13):
maintain some tiny thread of contact or connection and just
be there, and if your brother starts to wake up
from some of this and take some responsibility and grow
out of some of these delusions or ask questions, then
you can be there to welcome him back into the fold.
And then at some point you do have to let
things go, even though you were wronged or you were
(05:35):
harmed if you want to be the bigger person, but
at the end of the day, there's nothing you can
do right. Your sibling's an adult. They're responsible for their
own life and their own choices, and in the meantime
you do have to mourn that loss. But I guess
to know that you did all you can and continue
to do all that you can if you extend an
occasional olive branch or try to connect in some small
(05:57):
way or whatever, and then at the end of the day,
I think it's a good rule of femine life to
not obsess over or and it's much easier said than done,
trust me, I know, but to not beat ourselves up
over or obsess over things that are ultimately out of
our control, and instead to focus our emotional and mental
and physical energy on the things that we actually can
(06:19):
affect directly, not things that are kind of ultimately not
up to us. It's up to your brother and I
wish you and your family all the best, and thank
you so much for sending in your voicemail. Imagine a
lot of people have had similar experiences. You guys, let
me know what you think about the situation and the
comments do make sure subscribe like YadA YadA yah. Now
(06:41):
up next, somebody has an interesting story about how they
were actually a transgender DEI higher, a diversity higher that is,
let's listen.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Hi Braham, my name's Crystal, what I like to say,
one of the normal Trands. And about five years ago,
I was into the DEI nonsense as well, and I
had an experience that really woke me up from the
woke aspect of that, so to speak. I thought I
(07:13):
was landing a dream job with a really great company,
and I noticed that they bought into the DEI stuff.
My phone interview was not going too well, and before
it ended, I casually just brought up that I was TRANDS,
and all of a sudden, the recruiter slash hiring manager
started actually liking me, brought me onto another interview, and
(07:36):
before you know, I got hired on and yeah, I
was a DEI hire if I had to be honest.
And that did not turn out too well because less
than two months I was I had of pressure to quit.
And ever since then, it's really opened my eyes that
(07:56):
I hires are bad for everyone. They're bad for me,
bad for the business, and when people are DEI hires
and it works well for them. Unfortunately, that's where you
see a lot of support, but some people just have
to awaken themselves to the woke nonsense.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Well, thank you so much for this voicemail. It's a
really interesting story and perspective, and I appreciate you being
a listener and telling us about this because I've said
this for a long time. I have many issues with
DEI as opposed to equality, which is what I believe
in equality of opportunity, meritocracy, non discrimination. Those are the
(08:33):
values I stand for, but DEI has turned into something different.
In fact, that's why the E in DEI stands for equity,
not equality. It's because equity actively involves discrimination, often or
differential treatment intended to write historical wrongs or bring about
social justice or whatever kind of thing you have in mind.
(08:55):
But when you put people in positions for which they
would not qualify just in a pure a meritocratic process,
in the name of diversity, not only the traditional argument is, oh,
this is unfair to the people who are being discriminated against,
And I would say that is the primary concern right. So, like,
for example, with affirmative action, it was Asian American students
(09:18):
in particular, viciously discriminated against because of their race and
kept down artificially from how many of them deserve to
get into elite colleges because we don't want too many Asians.
I think that's like really messed up, and that's one
of the reasons I was very happy to see the
Supreme Court rule against affirmative action, and I continue to
advocate against that kind of thing. But then there's also
(09:41):
the argument that it's not in fact the best thing
for minority students to be uplifted like black students for example,
and put into colleges they wouldn't get into in a
pure a meritocratic process. You're setting those people up for
failure in some cases and contributing to the achievement gap
between black and white students. Whereas if they actually went
(10:02):
to the place that they should be just based on
a pure merit, then they may thrive, they may succeed,
But that merit exists for a reason, and things like
GPA and SAT are reasonable predictors of college performance. So
when you do that, you actually set these people up
for failure. The other thing is that sometimes even when
you have qualified people who would have been a suitable
(10:28):
choice for a position, but they are a member of
a group and you do have an a fir inve
action system in place, then it almost gives them the
slander of a diversity higher I'll give you a good
example of this. Biden openly said, and I thought this
was a really gross thing to do that for my
Supreme Court justice, I'm only going to pick a black woman.
So he just wiped out most of the options because
(10:52):
of their race or gender because a lot of them
are white men or white women or just not black.
So I mean, you really narrow the pool down there.
Then he picked Katanji Brown Jackson. Now what's interesting about
that is Katanji Brown Jackson, who was confirmed and is
now a Supreme Court justice. She actually had the resume,
like she had a top tier resume and qualifications. Whether
(11:14):
you think she's a good justice now or not, it's
a separate question. But he could have just picked her
and just out of everyone, not because of her race,
and just said I've reviewed all the candidates and I'm
going with Katanji Brown Jackson. But instead, because he engaged
in that DEI process and openly said it, like he
was very explicit about it, she's now viewed as a
(11:35):
diversity higher and understandably so. And it's almost unfair to
her because she was qualified. She wasn't unqualified on paper
whatever you think of her as a justice, and that's
part of what I think you're describing here. How this
is even unfair to the beneficiaries of DEI in many cases.
So I say, scrap the whole thing, start over, and
(11:57):
stop doing this because I just think it's really harmful
and counterproductive. But the truth is they're not going to
They're not going to stop doing it. I don't think so.
A lot of them are very deeply ideologically wedded to
this stuff. That's my take, That's my suspicion, at least.
I'm next, we have somebody who wants dating advice in DC,
(12:18):
which I have personal experience in that we will talk about.
Let's listen, Oh Brad.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
What's up man? I'm based in DC. I'm a by
guy who's not really political but definitely has more like
conservative leanings or whatever. But yeah, I'm based in DC.
Recently got back from overseas, and you know, I'm just
trying to reintegrate in the community, meet some cool people.
But recently, man, I've seen this girl, and she broke
up with me because I didn't like dive old my
(12:45):
politics or I wasn't like giving blue hair energy marching
in the streets, you know what I'm saying. And I
was kind of dejecting. But a part of me thinks
it's like to be expected in DC, and it's just
tough to make friends here in DC se when everyone's
like super politically charged. So I don't know if you
had any advice on just kind of charting your own
course and doing your own thing, especially in a place
(13:08):
like DC where it's just like tons of you know,
we need to march energy if you can catch my drift.
But yeah, I mean, I don't know. Any advice is welcome.
And love what your guys are doing for the show,
and yeah, keep you in awesome, appreciate.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
You well, thank you. I appreciate you and you tuning
in and sharing your message. This one is in fact
relatable to me. Some of the questions you guys ask
I have to kind of step outside my personal experience,
but not this one, because I did live in DC
and I dated as a gay man, which I imagine
is different but also a little more difficult than as
a byman because women, you probably have more options with
(13:44):
women who are conservative or whatever than you do with
gay men. And it's like, yeah, it's a very political community.
So a lot of people you will meet will have
very strong political feelings and very strong aversions and distaste
for people who don't always share those feelings. So my
first advice would be to move and get somewhere normal
(14:05):
where people aren't obsessed with politics, and then you'll encounter
more open minded folks. Now I understand that for a
lot of people that's not possible, Like you're living in
DC for a job or career or something and it's
not going to change. Maybe explore a little bit deeper
into Virginia is an option, Right, if you meet somebody
out in the sticks a little bit more, they might
be a little more normal. But the other thing I
(14:26):
would say is to just lead with it, just be
more upfront with it. Like, I don't know exactly where
you are on the political spectrum, but if you're a
moderate Republican, put that in your bio honestly in DC,
because then they'll self sort. Then the trash will take
itself out if you will, right, like the people who
are close minded, who are going to hate you because
of it, or are kind of cut things off when
they find out. They just won't swipe on you in
(14:48):
the first place. Now, the downside of that is some
people might swipe who swipe left on you who would
have perhaps given you a chance if they've gotten to
know you first. But at least for now, that's a
good way to say, skip all the drama and narrow
it down and even just with friends. Yeah, it's I
don't want to say, like just be friends with Republicans,
(15:10):
but that was my experience in DC, and things have
probably changed significantly, was that, like, the Republican side would
be happily be friends with you in terms of the
operatives and the journalists and everything, even if you were
more liberal or you were more moderate than them, or
you weren't as far right as them, or what have you,
but not vice versa. So I ended up making mostly
conservative friends during my time in DC, all most of
(15:32):
whom are significantly more to my right politically. And I
would encourage you to maybe hang out in some of
those crowds or meet some of those people because they
might be more receptive. But yeah, I would say lead
with it, like just own who you are, be upfront with.
It is my number one piece of advice, and then
cast a wider net perhaps, But it's not going to
(15:54):
be easy. I can tell you that it is not
the city of love for people who don't there a
certain specific kind of politics, that is for sure. All Right, now,
we are going to listen to a voicemail from somebody
who's involved in a spicy custody battle. First though, do
make sure you subscribe like comment YadA YadA.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
The link to sending your own voicemail is in the description.
Now let's listen to this interesting story.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Hey Brad, this isn't purely political, but politics have poisoned it.
I have share international joint custody of my twin daughter
between the United States and Canada. I live in Florida,
my ex wife in Ontario. She has primary custody, but
the court order grants me generous access, typically two trips
a year for holidays in the summer, which I feel
is way too short, especially since I fit the bill
for everything for traveling all that, and that time is
(16:43):
just not enough. Regardless, that was until this summer. Suddenly
my ex refuse to let her come down with me.
Ranting about how Trump is in office, Canadians are getting
arrested and deported in mass airlines are falling out of
the sky because of Trump, and how I back a
guy tied to Epstein's crimes. She suggests we revisit in
a year, sorry, three and a half years post Trump.
(17:04):
She's a reclusive entrovert who barely leaves home, per our
own daughter's admissions. Lately, she's embraced pride flags everywhere, fourth
wave feminism, hardcore, and then I guess last week she
let her daughter stay home from school for the entire week,
claiming our daughter was overstimulated, adding an insult. In a
few weeks, I'm moving to Tokyo for a dream job,
which I had informed her on months ago. Now she's
(17:26):
demanding an increase in child support. I'm open to that, However,
I retorted that in order for that to happen, I
want the current existing custody agreement to be enforced that
includes letting our daughter come spame time with me. Her
response to that is child support and custody do not mix,
and she's lawyering up to just wanting more cash while
(17:47):
stonewalling me any thoughts on this.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, I mean, I definitely have some thoughts. My first
thought is, gosh, divorce sounds so messy and so terrible.
I'm glad I haven't had been through that and hopefully
never will, fingers crossed. But the Canadian aspect to this
is really interesting. Obviously. I think Trump has been pretty
(18:11):
antagonistic towards Canada, like saying, oh, we're going to annex you,
make you the fifty first day or what have you.
And I roll my eyes at that, and I find
that to be ridiculous. But there is nothing dangerous about
you for your daughter to come visit you in Florida.
It's ridiculous. And your ex wife sounds out of touch
with reality. She has no idea what's happening and what's
not happening. More importantly, but I guess, and I really
(18:33):
can't say too much about this because I just don't
know how these systems all work. But if you have
a custody agreement, can't you take her to court in
Canada and force her to abide by it? I would
think that would be the immediate opportunity to write this,
because she's just not upholding her end of this legally
binding agreement. And then the moving to Japan is another
(18:56):
kind of wrench thrown in here. But my first thought is,
wait a second. If she's so concerned about Trump in
the US, and that's why she wants to break it off,
but then you're leaving and you're going somewhere else and
you just want that, then you want your daughter to
con visit you, and she still has an issue, Well,
then it's not really about Trump business. Sounds like she
just doesn't want to let you see your daughter, which
again is not her choice because you have a custody agreement.
(19:20):
So she says she's wiring up. Well, I really don't
know what to tell you other than you should too
and you should take her back to court. And regardless,
I would say, just try to maintain even if you're
not seeing her in person in the interim or what
have you, very regular FaceTime, text, call, everything contact with
(19:40):
your daughter, especially if she's in this kind of the
Lulu echo chamber with all this woke stuff around her
and her mom pushing this. So you can be her
kind of connection to reality. And as she grows older
as well, she'll have more independence and freedom and ability
to choose what kind of relationship she has with you
for herself rather than being subjective to kind of her
(20:01):
mom's influences and decision making. But all you can do
is your absolute best and invest as much time and
energy into your daughter as you can, and then pursue
whatever legal remedies you have available to you. But I
hope it works out, and I hope your daughter is
able to come visit you in Tokyo or Florida or
wherever you may be, and that her mom's paranoia doesn't
(20:22):
get in the way successfully. That's my thoughts at least
you guys let me know what you think in the comments,
especially if you've had not so nice interactions with the
family court system. I have just very little experience in
this area other than my own childhood as with the
divorced parents, which gosh, that's another story for another day.
(20:42):
But anyway, let me know what y'all think. Make sure
subscribe to send in your voicemails linked in the description.
One final voicemail for today that we're going to take
a listen to. This is about a friend's sibling. We'll
take a listen and then I'll give you my thoughts.
Speaker 6 (20:57):
Hey, Brad, my name is Addison. I'm a huge fan
of your show, and I'm having a disagreement with my
best friend right now and I really want your advice.
So me and my best friend are both nineteen, and
she has a younger sibling who identifies as a boy
(21:18):
but is biologically female. She's almost fourteen, and I have
respected this sibling's name and pronouns. And I caught up
with my best friend today for the first time in
a few months, and I she told me that her
(21:42):
sibling has just started testosterone. I'm hugely against child transitioning,
and I asked her a couple questions about it, and
she seems totally okay with this, and I to tell her, hey,
you know your sibling is going to be sterile, and
(22:05):
she says she knows that, and I said, okay, So
I don't really know what to do. I don't want
to lose this friendship, but I'm also really really worried
for her sibling. Anyway, thank you, and I could really
use your advice.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Well. First, honestly, shout out to you, because not only
do you have very good tastes in podcasts, you also
seem like a really caring person and like you really
care about your friend and her sibling and wants want
what's best for them. But you didn't mention where you live,
so I have to assume that you live. You live
in a state or locality where this is a legal
(22:40):
thing that they are allowed to do. The parents are
on board and have decided to do this to medically
transition their child at just fourteen. I find that to
be unethical. I find that to be unconscionable. But if
it's legal, and if the parents decided to do it,
there's nothing you can do. I mean, you're just a
friend of their siblings, friend their siblings, so you're just
(23:05):
a friend here and your friend's sibling is the one transitioning,
there's nothing you can do. I don't want to say
that you shouldn't care about this person at all, but
it's it's not your problem, and the fact that you
don't support it isn't really very relevant. I mean, that's
a parent parenting decision. I think they're making the wrong decision.
(23:25):
But I would say to you that there's nothing you
can do about this other than, you know, support candidates
who want to restrict this or support change politically. But
in terms of this individual situation, it's not within your control,
and all you would do by trying to like say
something or stand up to them is just offend them
and isolate yourself and break off your friendship. It's not
(23:47):
like they're going to listen to you and be like,
you know what, you're so right, We're not going to
do this. I give that about a zero zero, zero, zero,
zero point one percent chance of happening. Right, it's not.
It's very unlikely that they would somehow change the mind.
So all you would be doing is causing tension and
conflict and potentially damaging a friendship. So what's the point.
(24:08):
I appreciate you wanting to stick to your values or
say what you believe in, but I'm just not sure
it's appropriate venue for that. And I think you have
to let people make their own mistakes and you should
just not talk about it and prioritize your friendship and
be respectful. Obviously, if you start, like using the wrong
pronouns for your friend's sibling or what have you, it
(24:28):
could become an issue. So I would say, just keep
your thoughts to yourself, let them go about it. I mean,
that's all you really can do, and then be a
good friend and make different choices. In your own life
and with your own kids if it ever happens with them,
and advocate for the things you believe in politically and socially.
But yeah, you can't stop other people from making mistakes,
(24:51):
and you can't at the end of the day, try
to impose your own beliefs and values onto everyone else
in the micro form like this, because it's is not
going to work and it's just gonna lead to tention.
So it sounds like your heart is in the right place.
You're trying to help, and I appreciate that. I forget
what it's called. I think it's like the serenity prayer
or something, but it's this idea that you have to
(25:13):
know the difference between the things you can change and
the things you can't, and focus your energy on the
ones that you actually can. This would not be one
of those, right, This is something beyond your control, beyond
your power. So thank you just have to let it be.
That's my take at least, But y'all let me know
what you think in the comments. Remember links in the
description to sending your voicemails for our next Voicemail Friday episode.
(25:36):
And with that, that'll be it for today's episode of
the Brad Versus Everyone podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in.
Do like subscribe, rate and review on audio podcast platforms,
or even recommend the podcast to a friend. With that, guys,
we will talk again real soon
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