Beyond the Five Senses

Are we only compassionate to an extent and then turn cold? Do we have a sense of compassion for wounds we can see but not others? Where do we draw the line? Is there a line?  I believe compassion has no contingencies. The invitation is for us to open our hearts to understand why ALL people behave the way they do, and even empathize if they lack certain emotional capacities.

Episode Transcript

(00:07):
Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast.
Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.
Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

(00:28):
A few years ago, I encountered someone who lacked a sense of gratitude.
They moved through life as if everything was owed to them, including life itself.
They got me to reflect on how little we truly deserve in life, if anything at all,
and how we don't earn any privileges by simply waking up in the morning.
I realized that if we don't view everything in life as a gift, we run the risk of

(00:52):
losing our sense of gratitude, and replacing it with entitlement.
So, I decided to challenge myself to respond to everything with a Thank You,
which is easy to do when life showers you with abundant health, love, and friendships,
but it's much harder when faced with illness, injury, or loss.
Gratitude is a sense unlike any other in that if you don't use it, you lose it.

(01:17):
A few years later, I met someone without a sense of empathy,
and more recently, someone else without a sense of remorse — Let's call him Bob.
Meeting someone with no remorse about anything from their past surprised me,
because after more than a decade of working with those who are incarcerated,
I have grown so accustomed to witnessing the most beautiful aspects of humanity in the

people who are behind bars (01:39):
self-reflection, vulnerability, remorse, and accountability,
even gratitude for being in prison so they can reinvent who they want to be upon release.
Bob, on the other hand, like many others on the outside, might live for decades without
ever admitting any personal wrongdoing even to himself, and no sense of responsibility.

(02:02):
Most of us are familiar with the five senses of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch,
and many of us even know people who were
perhaps born without the ability to see or hear, for example, but it never occurred
to me that some people might lack other senses that we assume are innate,
such as love, empathy, and self-awareness.
So, I looked up the definition of Sense in the dictionary, and the first definition

is what you would expect (02:26):
Sense is a physical faculty for perceiving external stimuli.
But, the second definition of Sense is described as the ability to understand,
recognize, value, and react to something.
I'm gonna say it again:
Sense is the ability to understand, to recognize, to value, and to react.

(02:47):
Some people don't sense the world the same way we do, which perfectly explains
why they aren't phased by the same things that deeply affect us.
They sense things differently, and so they naturally respond to life differently
than we would, but does that make them wrong or inferior? Of course not!

Think about it (03:05):
we would never get angry with
someone blind for not having a sense of sight, right? Can you imagine
grabbing someone blind by the shoulders and shaking them while yelling, Can't you see???
Of course not... it's absurd!
So, isn't it equally unreasonable to get upset with someone who lacks other senses?
To better understand Bob, I looked into the
characteristics of people who lack a sense of remorse. I was taken aback by what I found:

(03:30):
science identifies them as sociopaths, and because they might exploit, manipulate, or
violate the rights of others, society understandably demonizes them,
but is it fair to condemn people with a mental or personality disorder?
To be clear, I'm not suggesting we excuse or enable harmful behavior, but what does it
say about us if we lose our sense of compassion for some people but not others?

(03:55):
Where do we draw the line?
Is there a line?
Is someone who feels no remorse after a misdemeanor as much a
sociopath as someone who feels nothing after committing a felony?
Are we only compassionate to an extent and then turn cold?
Or, can we open our hearts to understand why all people behave the way they do,
and even empathize if they lack certain emotional capacities?

(04:18):
I mean, that's what's been motivating my efforts to bring the correctional aspect back
into correctional facilities all these years.
They are meant to be spaces for rehabilitation and healing, not storage units.
During our monthly discussion about this topic, someone said they have compassion for
their friend who has dementia,
so of course they don't mind gently repeating themselves as many times as necessary.

(04:42):
But they admitted that they have no compassion whatsoever for
someone without dementia asking the same question more than once.
We all chuckled, of course, because we can all relate, but one example after another

made a sad reality very clear (04:53):
people have compassion for wounds they can see,
and some people have compassion for wounds they can understand.
But, we all have wounds. That's the entire point of me sharing this perspective.
Can we treat everyone as if they have a week to live or as if they are battling something we
know nothing about? Because they likely are.

(05:15):
We all are.
I invite us all to be patient with everyone
because I, for one, am extremely grateful for those who have been patient with me
as I slowly learn what others seem to grasp so easily.
If we want to live at peace with the world, it's in our best interest to
stop getting upset with puppies for behaving like puppies, if that makes sense.

(05:35):
You've probably heard me say this before, or you read it in Buddhist Boot Camp:
compassion has no contingencies.
We are all mangoes on the same tree, but we do not all ripen at the same time.
And heck, if you believe in reincarnation,
what if it's your seventh time around and somebody else's first?
Make room in your heart for EVERYONE.

(05:55):
We are on this journey together, and that SENSE OF UNITY is what the Buddha
experienced after sitting under the Bodhi tree for 49 consecutive days of meditation.
I dare say that SENSE OF UNITY is THE MOST IMPORTANT SENSE OF ALL.
Namaste 🙏
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Buddhist Boot Camp, Faithfully Religionless,

(06:17):
and The Opposite of Namaste.
For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,
where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,
watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.
We hope you have enjoyed this episode
and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions.

(06:38):
Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏